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Madeleine was over at Espresso’s house, yet again. However, Espresso doesn’t mind, not anymore. They’re friends, after all, that what this feeling he always gets means, right?
He enjoys the paladin’s company and no longer finds him utterly and purely annoying. He doesn’t mind having him around, asking dumb questions, tugging on his arms to drag him away from work or just looking over his shoulder to see what the professor is doing.
And Madeleine is grateful for that.
For so long, he had hoped that one day Espresso would warm up to his presence and let him stay for a little, just so he wouldn’t have to be so alone in his own house. And this means worlds and universes even Divine couldn’t grant. Espresso no longer groans at his questions and sometimes giggles when Madeleine gives it his all to pull him from work.
To be honest, Madeleine knows he got clingy to the professor the moment he fell in love and got attached. Espresso never mentioned this, doesn’t plan to, and neither does he really mind.
The sun was rising slowly, they hadn’t slept tonight. Unusual for Madeleine, but he really insisted on staying with the mage the whole night, meaning it to stay awake and get no beauty sleep.
Drinking tea, the window is open. Espresso is looking out, watching the wind pick up slightly. No heavy clothing on, he only has his collar shirt and pants (socks and underwear are to be expected), he finally feels like he is resting.
,,Espresso-...” Madeleine starts but stops his words soon after, looking into his cup of tea which he is holding with both his hands.
Espresso looks over and sets his own cup down, his hands feel a little weak after not sleeping for so long (yet again). He tilts his head as he sees Madeleine look up a little, but then he looks back down in slight panic, making Espresso wonder what’s making the paladin so nervous. Anxious? Scared, even?
,,I just wanted to thank you- For letting me stay, I mean…” Madeleine starts, but he can’t hide the slight tremble in his voice. Espresso smiles, a thing he rarely does. But Madeleine has seen the most of it, making his heart flutter.
,,Madeleine, I already told you, many times actually, that it’s no problem now. You are free to stay whenever you please-”
,,No. You don’t… You don’t understand… I get really lonely at times because I live alone… You are the only person truly here for me now… You let me stay, you let me… Be me around you and you don’t try to push me away and…” a tear slips down Madeleine’s face, sparkling white in the morning orange and pink.
,,And that means so much to me…” he looks out the opened window into the morning skies. The wind picks up enough so it messes with their hair inside a little. Espresso’s heartbeat picks up.
,,And I don’t know how to show my gratitude, so… I hope my words are enough, Espresso…” he looks back, little tears making salty ways down his face to his chin. Espresso’s lips fall open in utter loss of words.
The wind is running its fingers through Madeleine’s hair gently, picking up strands after strands, just gently making them bounce.
Blue eyes shining in the morning light, a bit of the orange and pink reflecting in his eyes while looking back at him, they sparkle with a bit of hope. With a desire, even?
He has a slight smile on his lips, genuine and gentle, yet the corners of his lips are trembling.
The peach color the orange and pink mixes tinting Madeleine as a whole, Espresso puts his lips back together, gulping silently.
He feels as if his heart jumped into his neck, beating as fast as never before. His stomach is making a mess- The usual feeling he feels around Madeleine on a daily basis he labeled as ‘friendship’. This isn’t friendship, is it? It’s deeper than that, more beautiful than that. It holds more than just friendship.
“Love”.
Espresso feels his own hair being played with, he widens his eyes, as if he just processed the words that were said to him. It wasn’t far from being right, just mixing in new found emotions right now. All this time, it’s been love. Nothing but love of the purest kind.
A realization settles in.
Espresso realizes- At that moment, him and Madeleine aren’t as different as he once made them ought to be. Madeleine just confessed to him, he was transparent more than ever, he sees it now. While Espresso hides behind work, papers, magic and formulas, Madeleine hides behind positivity, dedication and constant overwhelming positivity. Behind that mask, they are both fragile. They both seemingly are incredibly lonely, and though Espresso does have Latte to talk to, he doesn’t feel like he really does. They both break down, they let emotions slip.
Madeleine is showing a fragile part of himself to Espresso, and it makes him think- Why is that?
His heartbeat picks up yet again, even more than before. His cheeks start to burn to the point he is sure it’s visible to the other.
This is what falling in love feels like, what seeing a locked part of the one you love feels like. It’s a hit in the gut, but Espresso can’t help himself- This is what falling in love feels like.
He understands now. When they were younger, him and Latte, why Latte used to poem about the feeling of love. The feeling of her heart beating, how her cheeks burned around the one. At that time, he found it stupid, now he gets it.
It’s like a musical composure. From a relaxing point of his life where a piano calmly played, violins picked up slowly and he didn’t even notice until now. How they slowly and delicately play. Gently as the notes dance with the wind, they dance around him and Madeleine and then around the both of them.
Madeleine’s lips fall open a little.
Espresso gulps.
,,Espresso? You’ve been… Staring- It’s… Making me a little nervous…” Espresso shakes his head a little, hair flying everywhere gently.
,,Sorry, I got lost in thought. Of course, you don’t need to thank me, it’s the least I can do for… You… You showing interest in my work is enough.” he finishes slowly, looking away, hoping Madeleine doesn’t notice his blushing.
He does, Madeleine’s heart picks up. The time is flying by, seconds, minutes, surely it’s getting close to his duty around the little kingdom beginning. But being here with Espresso is enough. More than enough. As long as Espresso is here, he doesn’t mind the time flowing through his fingers, slipping away without a care. Each and every second with Espresso is sacred.
It doesn’t last forever, he knows, but he doesn’t mind. If being around Espresso is how he gets to spend the rest of it, he doesn’t mind one bit. Doesn’t rethink his choice, doesn’t rethink what anyone else might think.
He loves the feeling of being in love.
It’s enough.
This is enough.