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Dating Jaeyoung had ruined Sangwoo’s schedule. At first, in smaller, almost imperceptible ways, like taking longer to get ready because Jaeyoung was still in bed and Sangwoo would rather reach class 5 minutes later than usual than accidentally wake Jaeyoung up and reach 5 minutes after it started.
Then, in slightly bigger ways like incorporating an hour of “Jaeyoung time” (as the culprit had penned it) in his nighttime routine, or his screen time increasing by 25%, until Jaeyoung had moulded himself into Sangwoo’s life like a virus he just could not get rid of. He didn’t want to either.
So, yes, dating Jaeyoung had ruined Sangwoo’s schedule. But now he’s not here and it throws Sangwoo off harder than anything that has happened to date. Pining, attraction, yearning, intimacy. These are fairly new upgrades in Sangwoo’s system and he has yet to figure out the best way to eliminate any related issues that arise.
France seems to be the root of most of his problems, though. Not only is it holding his boyfriend hostage, but he also has to be reminded of it every time he steps into French class. There’s hardly a chance that he’ll be able to enjoy it ever again. Jaeyoung has left traces of himself in every sphere of Sangwoo’s life and together, they light a fire Sangwoo isn’t capable of extinguishing.
The feeling hits him like a freight train when he walks into his apartment after a particularly long day and there’s no Jaeyoung there to talk his ear off or to hold him until all of his worries melt into nothingness . He wants him. He needs him. Somehow, the realisation only works to dampen his mood further. He checks his phone almost as a reflex. 6:15 pm. So about 11 am in France. Jaeyoung must still be at work. It’s okay, Sangwoo tells himself. It’s not like he never had a bad day before he met Jaeyoung. He could and would deal with it on his own.
At that exact moment, he catches sight of the Veggie Man doodle that sits atop his desk and the last bit of his resolve crumbles. He falls on his bed with a soft thud, tapping the call button and pressing his phone against his ear as a familiar feeling of anxiety starts creeping up his stomach. Surprisingly, it only takes two rings for Jaeyoung to pick up.
“Miss me already?” His voice is teasing as always and it brings a smile to Sangwoo’s face involuntarily. God, he’s so annoying.
“No. I was just—”
“I’m kidding,” Jaeyoung cuts him off, “I missed you. I’m glad you called, but this isn’t our regularly scheduled time, baby. Is everything okay?”
The words, the concerned tone, the undeniable care, it all adds up until Sangwoo is on the verge of breaking down. He expected it though. Bad Day + No Boyfriend + Time Difference. There could only be one result.
“Yes,” he lies easily, “Just wanted to remind you of tomorrow’s deadline.”
Jaeyoung’s hesitation to answer tells Sangwoo that he knows it’s not the truth. The laugh he receives a moment later reminds him that Jaeyoung will play along with anything if he knows it’ll make Sangwoo feel better. His chest constricts. His heartbeat speeds up. He wonders if it’s because of the 5 cans of Black Holic he consumed today. He knows it isn’t.
“I remember, boss. You’ve texted me about it seven times this week and it’s on our shared calendar. I’d be a real ditz to forget,” Jaeyoung teases.
Sangwoo hides his smile in his mattress. “You are one.”
“Does bullying me recharge your battery, Chu Sangwoo? Is that all I am to you?”
“No, you are also a frequent trespasser and a bug that seems to be impossible to fix,” Sangwoo states.
The dramatic sigh Jaeyoung lets out is staticky over the connection, but it’s ingrained in Sangwoo’s network and he can recall the exact sound even in his sleep. “Oh, my Sangwoo. Always such a romantic.”
Both sides go silent for a minute. Not awkward, never awkward when it comes to Jaeyoung. There’s something about him that fills Sangwoo to the brim with a sentiment he’s never experienced before and especially in times like these, it doesn’t fail to override his system.
“Feel better now?” Jaeyoung speaks up first.
“Hyung,” Sangwoo starts, embarrassed, “Please don’t worry about me.”
“I will worry about you all I want. Come on, tell me what happened.”
And just like always, a small push from Jaeyoung is enough to break through his firewall. The dread building up inside him has mostly faded away during the phone call, but still, he sits up, pulls his knees to his chest and wraps his free arm around them. “Terrible day. Everything was going wrong.”
“-And you weren’t here,” he adds after a moment’s delay, softer, quieter, like it’s a secret only he’s supposed to know.
“Baby,” Jaeyoung’s voice breaks. He’s an open book when it’s just them; the pure unadulterated emotions in his voice always give him away. “I’m sorry I’m not there. But Sangwoo-yah, you’re not alone anymore. You have Yuna and Hyeongtak and even Jihye. They’re your friends now too.”
Sangwoo doubts it works that way. However, he remembers Choi Yuna being nice to him the five times he was in the same room as her. So he stores the suggestion in his ‘To Consider’ folder and promptly changes the subject.
“How’s work?”
Jaeyoung hums. “Work is work. I’m on my break right now.”
“Hyung, be honest. Do you ever really work? How do you have the time to send me pictures of yourself throughout the day and also pick up all of my calls?” Sangwoo complains insincerely.
There’s a sound of a chair being pushed away and then Jaeyoung’s voice comes out clearer. “Are you doubting your boyfriend’s abilities, Chu Sangwoo? Don’t make me fly over there to prove you wrong.”
“Do it,” Sangwoo challenges. Even though they’re both aware that it’s not that easy.
Jaeyoung exhales. Sangwoo exhales in return. There’s no need to say it over and over again. Sangwoo knows. He knows Jaeyoung does too.
“Two more months,” Jaeyoung promises.
“I’ll be prepared for my routine to be disrupted again.” It’s said as a joke but it holds a hint of truth in it anyway. Jaeyoung is the best worst kind of distraction.
“When will you admit that you are way more efficient when I’m around?” Jaeyoung ends the question with a whine and Sangwoo can’t help but laugh.
“Whatever,” a pause, “The countdown has begun.”
They can’t see each other but Sangwoo can tell it makes Jaeyoung smile. The one where his eyes disappear. The one that is imprinted on Sangwoo’s heart and has taken over his servers.
“I need to get back to work. Sangwoo,” Jaeyoung says, voice serious, “Don’t hesitate to call if you need me. You being okay is my priority.”
“I will. Now go. We can talk later.”
Jaeyoung smacks his lips on top of the mic and then hangs up, leaving Sangwoo’s chest shaking with laughter. Two more months, he reminds himself. Then he will gladly let Jang Jaeyoung ruin his schedule.