Work Text:
It started with the glowing purple portal in the middle of the town square, right when Vlad was about to destroy that pesky boy.
It started with the glowing purple portal in the middle of his backyard, right when Vlad was about to flip his family's burgers on the grill.
"What the- this is supposed to bring forth The Ultimate Enemy?" Vlad asked, and Danny felt his shoulders relax a little. Because Dan didn't come out of the portal, another Vlad did. Only, this one had his hair down, a 'World's Best Dad' mug, and had Packer's pajama pants on. And nothing else. Dude, this Vlad was covered in tats- and he looked so chill, so non-threatening that Danny instinctively put him on 'civilian, not a threat' in his radar.
"What's going on here?" Vlad snapped- ok, Chill Vlad snapped. Yeah, that was easier.
"I have summoned the Ultimate Enemy, and- what are you wearing?"
The crowd looked between the two, and Danny saw phones come up to record. "It is Saturday morning, my one day off this week, and I'm doing a grill, not a business trip. Who's this enemy, anyway?" Chill Vlad asked. He took a swig of...whatever was in his mug. It was glowing.
His Vlad was doing a fantastic impression of a fish. "Me, actually!" He said, and waved at Chill Vlad.
"The hell- why are you fighting a 14-year-old? Don't you have companies to run?"
Danny heard several people go "oooooh," and joined in.
"He stands in the way of our obsessions!"
"So. A 14-year-old boy. Stands in the way of taking care of your family and the Green Bay Packers. I find that hard to believe."
"He's super obsessed with my mom," Danny added with a grin at Vlad's face.
"I don't blame him, Darcy's hot as hell. Still doesn't explain why he's fighting a child."
"Darcy? My mom is M- uh. A redhead."
Chill Vlad laughed at him, and holy shit there was a Vlad with nice laughter. "I'm going to guess a certain red-headed scientist who married a much taller one?"
"Uh yeah, basically."
Chill Vlad looked at regular Vlad, and "you need some fudging therapy. That was in college. She wasn't that into you then, and she's not that into you now."
Vlad, of course, reacted poorly and shot Chill Vlad with an ecto-pistol. Chill Vlad stared at the broken World's Greatest Dad mug, then looked up, eyes glowing red. "Playtime's over." He said, and turned into Plasmius- well. Plasmius with his hair down and a black cloak, which was much less ridiculous than regular Plasmius.
"Mayor Masters is the Wisconsin Ghost?!" Wes shrieked from behind him.
Danny had never seen Plasmius get his ass handed to him quite like that. He wished he brought popcorn. Right after regular Vlad fell unconscious and transformed back, another purple portal opened. "Get that man some therapy!" He shouted before disappearing.
Within 20 minutes, his official Phantom Twitter was crawling with memes. This was the best.