Chapter Text
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:36 pm): My phone was finally returned, except snivellus somehow unlocked it and deleted all my contacts, thankfully I've remembered your number by heart <3
Remus (Sat. 8:49 pm): Erm, sorry to break it to you, but your heart has failed you, considering this is the wrong number
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:50 pm): God dammit snivellus, now I'll have to find James without technology
Remus (Sat. 8:52 pm): ...what's a snivellus
Remus (Sat. 8:52 pm): Not that it's my business, but...
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:54 pm): You should probably know in case you see him walking down the street
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:54 pm): He's some greasy git that goes to school with me
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:55 pm): Was out to get me after I peacefully protested about how shampooing should be done at least 3 times a week and not annually
Remus (Sat. 8:58 pm): ...I have a feeling that your so called peaceful protest wasn't so peaceful
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:59 pm): Truly offended.
Unknown Number (Sat. 8:59 pm): How was I supposed to know that he's allergic to the soap I used on this pillow
Unknown Number (Sat. 9:00 pm): Actually, any form of soap seems to be allergic to him
Unknown Number (Sat. 9:01 pm): The soap just fought back!
Remus (Sat. 9:03 pm): Jesus Christ
Unknown Number (Sat. 9:03 pm): Sirius Black is fine
Remus (Sat. 9:04 pm): I see the joke you were trying to pull off, but why on Earth would you give a stranger your name
Sirius (Sat. 9:04 pm): I never pass the opportunity to pass a joke.
Sirius (Sat. 9:05 pm): Though in hindsight, I do see where you're coming from
Sirius (Sat. 9:06 pm): Oh my god, you're not some creepy old man are you?
Sirius (Sat. 9:06 pm): STAY AWAY FROM MY FEET!!
Remus (Sat. 9:10 pm): I guess you'll never know, Sirius Black. I could be in your closet, Sirius Black, about to suffocate you in your dirty laundry, Sirius Black
Sirius (Sat. 9:11 pm): AKSNDONWBDJSK
Sirius (Sat. 9:11 pm): I just got out- I don't want to go back in!!!
Remus (Sat. 9:12 pm): I've been stuck in it my whole life, you're gonna be pulled back in
Remus (Sat. 9:12 pm): muhahahahahah
Sirius (Sat. 9:13 pm): AJAJANSJAKJE
Sirius (Sat. 9:19 pm): It's only fair if you tell me your name then
Remus (Sat. 9:19 pm): How's that fair
Sirius (Sat. 9:20 pm): Because you made me say mine D:
Remus (Sat. 9:21 pm): That creepy face makes you seem like the creepy old man
Sirius (Sat. 9:21 pm): D:
Sirius (Sat. 9:21 pm): D:
Sirius (Sat. 9:21 pm): D:
Sirius (Sat. 9:22 pm): D:
Remus (Sat. 9:22 pm): I want a lawyer
Remus (Sat. 9:22 pm): Didn't your parents ever tell you 'stranger danger'??
Sirius (Sat. 9:23 pm): My parents never cared about me enough to tell me to take care of myself
Sirius (Sat. 9:23 pm): Strangers are punk rock
Remus (Sat. 9:24 pm): Even the child molestors??
Sirius (Sat. 9:24 pm): They're not strangers
Remus (Sat. 9:24 pm): Umm
Sirius (Sat. 9:25 pm): OH MY GOD SKAKSKSJKA
Sirius (Sat. 9:25 pm): I MEANT THEY'RE NOT STRANGERS, THEY'RE CHILD MOLESTORS
Sirius (Sat. 9:25 pm): MY MESSAGE SENT BEFORE I COULD ADD THAT
Remus (Sat. 9:26 pm): So you're not best buds with the pedos on the streets?
Sirius (Sat. 9:27 pm): DJJSSKKSSOOS
Sirius (Sat. 9:27 pm): NO
Remus (Sat. 9:27 pm): Dunno if I want to give my name to a best friend of a child molestor
Sirius (Sat. 9:28 pm): Oh my god
Sirius (Sat. 9:28 pm): My best mate read that over my shoulder and now thinks your talking about him
Remus (Sat. 9:28 pm): I mean... technically you could be implying that your child molestor best mate is indeed a child molestor
Remus (Sat. 9:29 pm): And now he fears he'll be caught for his crimes
Unknown Number (Sat. 9:32 pm): THIS IS JAMES
James (Sat. 9:32 pm): I AM DEFINITELY NOT A CHILD MOLESTOR
Remus (Sat. 9:33 pm): That's what a child molestor would say
James (Sat. 9:34 pm): maksksnsosksjs
Sirius (Sat. 9:36 pm): You're a cruel man, detective
Remus (Sat. 9:36 pm): Detective?
Sirius (Sat. 9:37 pm): I have to call you something don't I??
Remus (Sat. 9:38 pm): We've been messaging for less than an hour
Remus (Sat. 9:38 pm): Some people follow the 'stranger danger' code of conduct
Sirius (Sat. 9:39 pm): Well I'm punk rock, sweetheart
Remus (Sat. 9:40 pm): I don't think saying 'sweetheart' is entirely punk rock
Sirius (Sat. 9:40 pm): I make the rules, sweetheart xxx
Sirius (Sat. 9:44 pm): Now that were best buds
Remus (Sat. 9:44 pm): Best buds?
Sirius (Sat. 9:45 pm): I've taught you the punk rock ways
Sirius (Sat. 9:45 pm): That instantly makes you my best bud
Remus (Sat. 9:46 pm): You're impossible
Sirius (Sat. 9:46 pm): Im punk rock
Sirius (Sat. 9:47 pm): ANYways
Sirius (Sat. 9:48 pm): James told me to ask you what movie we should watch
Remus (Sat. 9:48 pm): By we I'm assuming you mean you and James
Sirius (Sat. 9:49 pm): Duh
Sirius (Sat. 9:49 pm): You don't strike me as the kind of person who watches movies on a saturday night
Remus (Sat. 9:50 pm): Calling me boring?
Sirius (Sat. 9:50 pm): Maybe
Remus (Sat. 9:50 pm): James has my number, somehow
Remus (Sat. 9:51 pm): How come he couldn't ask me himself
Sirius (Sat. 9:51 pm): First off, he stole your number
Sirius (Sat. 9:52 pm): Secondly, maybe I wanted your imput and used James as an excuse
Remus (Sat. 9:52 pm): Journey 2: The Mysterious Island is the best movie on Earth
Remus (Sat. 9:52 pm): Other than Starwars obviously
Remus (Sat. 9:53 pm): But I doubt you want to watch to watch a whole series
Sirius (Sat. 9:53 pm): nerdddddd
Sirius (Sat. 9:54 pm): Fine we're watching Journey 2: The Mysterious Island
Sirius (Sat. 11:25 pm): Wowowowowow
Sirius (Sat. 11:25 pm): Honestly that was a good movie
Remus (Sat. 11:26 pm): Told you so
Sirius (Sat. 11:26 pm): Yes
Sirius (Sat. 11:26 pm): Thank you for your suggestion
Remus (Sat. 11:27 pm): Yeah yeah
Remus (Sat. 11:28 pm): Anyways I'm going to bed
Remus (Sat. 11:28 pm): Dunno why I told you though, I don't even know you
Sirius (Sat. 11:29 pm): We're best mates, detective
Sirius (Sat. 11:30 pm): Nighty night sweetheart xxx