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I must survive to protect my family. I can’t lose them. I can’t feel that pain again.
Cypher huffs and it blows away a small strand of Jett’s snow white hair. She makes a small noise, readjusts and buries her face deeper into his chest.
He wishes he could take off the damn mask. Rip it off his head, once and for all. It clings to his skin almost too perfectly, threatens to melt into him if he won’t take action soon. He was getting uncomfortably hot the longer he stayed like this, but while the mask was itching and burning, he had never felt so at peace before.
The room he is in had fallen quiet long time ago. Not quiet as in tone-deafening, dead silence.
Because he isn't alone. Not at all.
Their youngest radiant, Jett, was sound asleep on his chest. Her right hand clung to his shoulder, her light frame nothing but a comfortable weight to him. Her warmth had been sweeping into him like slow poison, but he refused to move. She looked so peaceful.
Sova lay the second closest. His chin rested in the crook of his neck, and a muscular arm was drawn around his middle like a life line, holding him close. Cypher could have felt the Russian’s breathing on his face if it weren’t for the mask.
Raze was twitching in her sleep. Somehow, she had chosen to clutch around his leg, making him the most immobile. Cypher didn't mind her clinginess. Just made for another reason to never get up again.
Phoenix and Yoru were one tangled mess of a hug. Cypher could barely make out to which of the two all those body parts belonged to. The Japanese had both arms wrapped around the taller man, hands gripping into the material of his shirt.
Next to them, Sage was leaning against the sofa’s headrest, still in her medic coat, with her arms sunken down her sides. Reyna had collapsed onto her lap, her facial expression telling that she was somewhat uncomfortable. A nightmare perhaps. Those were quite common in the Valorant protocol.
Killjoy sighs in her sleep. She does this a lot, he has reckoned over time. He hopes she is dreaming of something bright and beautiful, something less alike to the back alleys and pools of blood in his nightly visions. Cypher knows she had fallen asleep in the Sargent's arms, somewhere close to him. Brimstone, the soldier, had a light sleep. Cypher wonders if in this exact moment, he is awake too. If he feels the same, the ever longing sense of security, the warmth of the little engineer enveloped in his arms. The ones he loves, the ones he cares about the most, to know them to be safe. Away from bullets and gunfire. And even further away from the fact that tomorrow was never promised.
There was blood on the floor. Most likely his own.
It wasn’t everyday that Cypher would get shot right into his stomach, but he sure wasn’t too surprised when it had happened.
The bullets blew his skin away, tore his insides to shreds.
They found him after some time, at least that was what they had told him.
The only one he remembered before his vision was fading was that of Sabine, crouching over him and pulling the gas mask off her face to call out for Sage, for Skye, for someone. He concentrated on her furrowed brows and those green sparks in her eyes, confused as to why she was being so agitated, why she was calling for help this desperately.
He had known that this day was to come, and he had already made his peace with the other side. What was it that made Sage sprint to his side, to hold her healing hands over a fatal wound, when he had been ready to go?
Then came a time of darkness, accompanied by flashes of words and faces, and Cypher was uncertain if they were actual memories or products of his fever dreams. He heard Phoenix calling out his name, felt Viper and Omen pulling his body to his feet, Sage reaching out to stroke his face, gently.
His bare face.
Did that actually happen? Hopefully not.
As if to test, Cypher lifted a hand from where it previously had clung to Jett and began to touch his face. It was still masked, as always. Nothing but the smooth material of his solid facade against his fingertips.
Sova exhaled through his nose.
Jett whines for his hand to return and he complies, gingerly stroking the wind girl’s shoulder. When a small hum escapes her mouth he can't hide a smile.
Who would he be hiding it from, anyway? It was dark, everyone was asleep.
He had seen all of the concerned look in their eyes. They had all been so exhausted from the fight. And yet he had managed to cause them the most worries.
“I thought we lost you today.”, Brimstone, a firm hand on his shoulder.
“Don’t ever do that again bruv.”, Phoenix, his little star, with tears instead of fire in his eyes.
“I’m so glad you’re ok.”, Killjoy, hugging him in the tightest embrace he had ever felt.
In the far corner, KAY/O stood in a charging chamber, the dim lights of his head screen instead of a face slightly illuminating the room.
Viper sat close to him in an armchair, her head having sunken down onto her chest. Her jet black hair, usually straight and slickly combed was now tangled and messy from sleep deprivation.
On the floor, Skye was asleep, her arms and legs spred out in all directions. Neon is on top of her, as if she had tripped over her ally’s body by accident.
Omen, the phantom of a man, the being Cypher was unsure even required sleep, lay on a mattress, with Astra by his side. There is a bandage on her forearm, telling of where her skin too had been pierced by bullets.
He hears Breach snoring. Sees Reyna’s face furrow further. Hears Chamber mumbling for the Swede to shut up. And sees Reyna’s expression soften, at last. Had Breach been snoring this loud the entire time?
He concentrates on his fingers dancing over the wind girl’s skin in small, gentle strokes. On the warm bodies next to him.
Sova’s even breaths. Raze’s tight grip around his leg. Jett’s hand on his shoulder.
They’re all here. They’re alive now.
They had nearly lost him. Then they had brought him back. Had taken care of him, had waited for him to wake up again. Some of them had stayed awake for days. He had felt the little engineer shaking against him when she pulled him in for a long hug. If it was the caffeine or joy, that would remain a mystery. There were some questions even he wouldn’t know the answer to.
Somewhere in the darkness, someone shifts, rearranging their position.
The mission was over. It is over now. What more do I have to lose?
His hand wanders up his neck. A finger hits a small mechanic, and the rim of the mask around his neck springs open. He grabs the material and yanks it off his face with as little movement as possible.
The air hits his hot face like a cooling bite. As if she knew, Raze tightens her grip around his leg. He acknowledges it with a grin, then takes in a deep breath, Jett raising with his chest. He shudders when another sudden wave of air tickles his neck. Sova moves closer, pressing his face next to his own. He hums, and Cypher hears the smile on his lips.
The moroccan closes his eyes and feels the tiredness overtake.