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It’s late at night, and it’s one of those nights where Nick keeps Charlie company under the covers of Charlie’s bed covers. It’s always cold, Charlie can never sleep.
He shuffles in the bed a lot, trying to find some sort of comfortable position but nothing works. He’s cold and he’s wide awake, and he’s not alone because Nick is asleep right next to him, in his bed. Although, he feels alone. Nick’s shallow breathes of sleep prove that he is, despite the physical company that surrounds him.
It’s been about three months since he left the ward, it’s March. He’s happier now, but he has days, nights like these where his thoughts are racing. Where he’s convinced himself within his lone mind that everyone hates him, that Nick would be better off without him, that he ruins everyone’s lives, that Tori would be better off without him dragging her life down all of the time.
It’s a miserable thing to think about, which is why he sleeps a lot, so he isn’t alone with these thoughts. But maybe he’s had one too many naps and he just can’t sleep, can’t get comfortable.
“Nick,” Charlie lightly whispers. “Nick.”
He doesn’t want to wake his boyfriend up, but he doesn’t want to be alone. He needs help.
“Nick,” Charlie taps on his shoulder.
“Charlie?” He mumbles. “Is everything okay?”
“Can’t sleep. Bad thoughts.”
Nick sits up in the bed, bringing Charlie into his arms, tears begin to fall down, dampening Nick’s grey sleeping shirt.
“I feel like a burden, all of the time. And I know I’m getting over it and sometimes I don’t feel like it, but just when I’m alone I feel like everyone hates me.”
“Charlie,” Nick cooed, rocking back and forth as his boyfriend cried into the crook of his neck. “It’s okay. It’s okay. You know I love you.”
“You don’t have to-.”
“But I want to. You’re the most amazing person I know! You’re talented, smart, funny, charming, handsome, kind. You are the perfect person and I’m so glad that you’re in my life, that I met you. You mean the world to me, and I hate seeing you doubt that. Because you shouldn’t.”
Charlie stays quiet, his sobs begin to dissipate and all remaining tears fall from his eyes.
“Thank you,” Charlie mumbles.
“I love you, Charlie Spring,” Nick smiles.
“I love you too, Nick Nelson.”
Charlie reaches his head up to be eye level with Nick, his hands reaching up to cup his boyfriend’s cheeks and pulls him towards him into a kiss. It’s soft, and it makes Charlie so happy. He never thought he would have this, never thought that he would find someone who loved him. And he’s glad it’s Nick.
They stayed sitting up for a while afterwards, Nick just holding Charlie in his arms as he rocked them both back and forward, with Nick muttering everything he loved about Charlie and more.
And love doesn’t cure mental illness, but it does help a lot. At least Charlie thinks so…