Chapter Text
*ding!*
Haru turns over in her bed.
*ding!*
She tries to ignore the noises coming from her phone.
*ding!*
It’s not working.
*ding!*
→ Check your messages
Try to go back to sleep
Fine, she thinks, guess I should probably check who’s messaging me. Haru stretches out her arm and feels around for her phone. She gets it on the third swipe. Ugh, why are phone screens so damn bright? It’s only…
The display on the home screen reads 10:34 AM.
Oh. Guess I slept in. She checks her messages.
ERIKA: hey haru
ERIKA: you know that movie i was telling you about with the dragons and stuff
ERIKA: i dont have anything goin on today so do you wanna watch that?
ERIKA: lmk if youre down to watch it, ill provide the snacks
Oh yeah, I remember that. She was telling me about that last week. That was when she…
Oh, right.
Last week was Haru’s birthday, and also the day that Erika told her that she had feelings for her. Well, sort of - she told Haru she wanted to kiss her, at least. Just thinking about it makes Haru blush. Haru turned her down, of course. After all, she still had a thing for Manami.
Well, sort of.
Well, maybe.
Well, not really.
Well, she had actually been over Manami for a while, even before she went over to Erika’s house last week, and she only lied to Erika about it because she needed a better excuse for not wanting to kiss her than “I don’t know what the hell I’m doing right now and I’m incredibly nervous and I only met you, like, a few months ago.”
Haru wasn’t great with words. She was good at lying, though. Manami always told her she had a good poker face. In fact, when she, Erika, Manami, and her boyfriend (she is really, really bad with names and cannot for the LIFE of her remember his) played cards together after meeting up for dinner a few weeks ago, she won almost every round. Poker involved hiding, and Haru had gotten very good at hiding the past few years.
Wait, what was she doing again?
Oh, right, the movie. Haru had looked up the movie after Erika told her about it, and it looked pretty good. Good ratings, neat premise, and only an hour and a half. Haru’s attention span left a lot to be desired, so the shorter the better. And she didn’t have anything going on today, either, so it should’ve been a no-brainer. A friend, a movie, and some snacks. What’s not to love? Well, aside from the fact that watching you’re watching a movie with someone you know has a crush on you who thinks you like someone else even though you don’t and you don’t know really how you feel about them, and maybe last week you should’ve taken them up on their offer to kiss you because they’re very, very pretty and they’re a really good person who, for the first time in your life, actually made you feel like you were a girl deserving of love, and -
Haru throws her phone down on the floor and puts her head in her hands.
*ding!*
ERIKA: hey haru you there
ERIKA: it says “read”
ERIKA: still deliberating i guess
Shit, I can’t just leave Erika on read. Think, Haru!
Pros of watching a movie with Erika:
- Cool movie
- Good friend
- Snacks
- Nice house
- Nice girl
Cons of watching a movie with Erika:
- Need to look presentable
- Nerves
- Awkward
- Uh…
- …
Five against three, she thinks. Guess I’m doing this. Haru picks up the phone and messages Erika back.
HARU: Sorry, I had to go do something. Yeah, I’d love to watch that with you! My place or yours?
ERIKA: mine preferably
ERIKA: i dont really like going to other peoples houses tbh
ERIKA: makes me feel weird
ERIKA: but if you really dont wanna come over then i guess i can come to your place
HARU: No, I’m fine with going to your house.
HARU: Do you have a time in mind?
ERIKA: im down for whenever but id prefer, like, 7ish
ERIKA: movies are way better when you watch them at night
HARU: Sounds like a plan. I’ll be there at 7!
ERIKA: siiiiiiiiiiiick
Well, that was easy. See, Haru? No problem. It’s just going to be a nice outing, nothing to worry about. Just you and Erika, sitting on a couch, watching a movie. Together. On the couch. Next to each other.
Oh God.
~~~~~
6:00 rolls around and Haru is equal parts excited and terrified. She’s picked out a good outfit - nothing too crazy, just a nice shirt and some nice pants. A coat, too - it’s pretty chilly today. Her makeup is… well, it’s simple. She hasn’t had a ton of practice, so she goes with a simple look. She tries not to look at it in the mirror for too long. If she does, she’ll just psyche herself out. For now, she just has to wait. She looks at the clock.
6:10.
She waits some more. She looks at the clock.
6:15.
She waits some more. She looks at the clock.
6:17.
She looks at the clock.
6:18.
She looks at the clock.
6:18.
She looks at the clock.
6:18.
She falls backwards onto her bed and groans.
Why am I freaking out about this? We’re just watching a movie together! Erika told me that she still wanted to stay friends, so why am I so nervous about this?!
Haru closes her eyes and takes a few deep breaths. Calm down, she thinks. It’s alright.
Nothing to worry about.
-----
6:30 rolls around and Haru leaves for Erika’s place. She doesn’t live too far, so she decided to just walk. She likes walking. Nobody pays much attention to you when you’re just walking around town. You don’t have to worry about bumping into people, like with the trains. You don’t have to worry about giving up your seat, either. It’s peaceful. Haru feels a few drops of water hit the top of her head.
Oh, it’s raining!
Haru had always liked the rain. It’s refreshing, cool, calming. She likes the sound it makes when it hits her umbrella. The little pitter-patter of the drops. If she brought her rain boots, she would’ve stomped in a few puddles. She likes to seek those moments out when she can - little glimpses into the childhood she wished she could have taken part in. The playdates, the sleepovers, the princess costumes, the toys. She pulls the fake ID card that Erika gave her out of her pocket.
Name: Haru
Sex: F
Heh.
If only.
She keeps walking.
-----
Eventually, Haru finds her way to Erika’s house. She gets lost a few times, but she gets there right at 7:00.
→ Knock on the door
Chicken out
Alright, let’s do this. Watching a movie. With a friend. Let’s go.
*knock knock knock*
…
…
The door opens.
“Hey, Haru!” It’s Erika. “Glad you could make it, girl! Come in, you’re gettin’ all wet. It’s raining pretty hard, huh?”
Haru shrugs and points to her umbrella. “M’ fine. Got an umbrella. Thanks, though.” She closes her umbrella and walks into the house. Erika shuts the door behind her.
Haru tries to catch the water dripping from the umbrella with her coat. “Where should I, um, put this?”
Erika motions to the coat rack beside the door. “Just hang it up there. It’ll drip a bit, but it’s whatever.”
“Okay.”
“Right,” Erika claps her hands together. “Well, I’m gonna go get the snacks. You can just hang out on the couch, I shouldn’t take long.” She turns on her heel and trots off towards the kitchen.
“U-uh, okay!”
God, why am I so awkward?
Haru makes her way to the living room, and remembers something very important about Erika’s house: Erika’s couch is very small. It’s not even a couch, really - it’s a loveseat.
You’ve got to be kidding me.
Haru sits down on one side of the loveseat, making sure she takes up as little space as possible. It’s uncomfortable, but she doesn’t want to make it so that Erika has to get up close to her if she wants to sit down. That would be rude. She looks around the living room. Erika’s place isn’t all that big, but it’s certainly cozy. Haru never liked big houses that much anyway, too much room that needed to be filled with random stuff. There are a few paintings on the walls, simple pieces that look more like art decor than anything else. They tie the room together, at least. Haru’s always liked those kinds of pieces, ones that were just there to look pretty. She likes other art too, but for whatever reason-
“Eep!”
Haru squeaks in surprise as Erika sits down beside her on the loveseat. She was so busy looking at the rest of the room that she didn’t even notice Erika putting the snacks down on the table. Erika snorts.
“W-woah, calm down! Didn’t mean to startle you.” She’s trying to stifle her laughter, but she’s not doing a very good job of it. Her giggles slip through her fingers as she puts her hand over her mouth.
Her laugh is really cute, Haru thinks.
“Oh, thanks.”
Haru’s eyes widen. “Wait, d-did I say that out loud?”
“Yeah,” Erika chuckles, “you sure did. Thanks, though. Your ‘eep’ was cute, too.”
As much as she doesn’t want it to, Haru’s heart flutters. She’s blushing now. She pulls her coat up to her chin and looks down.
Erika frowns. “Shit, wait, did that make you uncomfortable? Sorry, I-I didn’t mean it like-”
“No, no,” Haru interrupts, “it’s fine. L-let’s just start the movie.”
Already off to a weird start. Maybe I should’ve just stayed home.
-----
Ten minutes into the movie and Haru realizes that she absolutely cannot focus on what is happening onscreen. The action is cool, sure, but her attention is almost entirely on Erika, who is sitting really, really close! Like, it’s not her fault, the loveseat is just really small . They’re able to sit together without touching, sure, but they’re still REALLY CLOSE TOGETHER! Haru just hopes that Erika can’t notice how tense she is. Or how hard she’s blushing.
“You good, Haru?”
Oh god oh god oh god oh god
“Y-yeah,” she says, a little too loudly. “I’m fine, it’s just…
→ “...the movie’s really intense.”
“...you’re really close.”
“…th-the movie’s really intense.”
Erika looks at Haru, and her heart skips a beat. “We can stop if it’s too much. This director’s movies are always kinda crazy. If you want to watch something else, just let me know, okay?”
“No, I’m fine. Don’t worry about me, we can keep watching.”
Whew.
The movie continues, and Haru manages to focus a bit harder on it this time. The practical effects are really good for the time it was made, even if it’s pretty easy to tell they’re just rubber suits at points. The acting is pretty bad, too, but it’s no big deal. Adds some charm. About halfway through the movie, Erika pauses.
“I’ve gotta hit the bathroom. Won’t be long.” She gets up and leaves the room. Haru lets out a breath she didn’t know she was holding. Her shoulders relax.
Okay Haru, we’ve gotta figure this out. Q&A time. With myself.
Q: Why are you so nervous?
A: Because of Erika.
Q: Why does Erika make you so nervous?
A: Because she’s so close to me.
Q: Why is her proximity to you so nervewracking?
A: Because she’s really pretty.
Q: How do you feel about Erika?
A: I enjoy her company.
Q: Is that really all there is to it?
A: Uh…
“I’m back!”
Haru manages to stop herself from “eep”ing this time, as Erika called it. She still jolts in her seat a little, though.
“Man, you’re easy to startle, huh? Oh, you know what we should watch sometime?”
“If you say a horror movie, then the answer is no.”
“Aw man.” Erika pouts. “You’re boring. Okay, whatever, it’s go time.”
The movie resumes.
-----
Once again, Haru finds herself unable to focus on the movie. It’s too bad, because the big final battle is happening, but it’s impossible to focus on it when Erika is getting so excited about it. She’s staring at the screen in awe as the dragons duke it out, breathing clouds of fire and ice at each other. It’s not even all that visually impressive.
“Yeah, get him,” Erika whispers under her breath.
God, she’s so cute.
Haru makes sure she doesn’t say her thought out loud this time.
As the action reaches its peak, Haru takes another glance in Erika’s direction. She’s surprised at what she sees.
Is she… is she crying?
Sure enough, as the fire dragon blasts a jet of molten magma down the throat of the ice dragon, a tear rolls down Erika’s cheek. She wipes it away quickly, seemingly embarrassed about her display of emotions. Unfortunately for Haru, Erika notices her staring. Haru quickly snaps her head back to look at the screen.
Erika sniffs. “Y-yeah, I get kind of emotional over shit like this. It’s… it’s kinda lame, but I can’t help it.” She wipes away another tear.
“It’s not,” Haru says. “I don’t think it’s lame. It’s…”
→ “...adorable.”
“...normal.”
“...adorable.”
→ “...normal.”
“...adorable.”
→ “...normal.”
“…normal. I mean, it’s an emotional moment. The dragon saved its family, that’s worth a few tears.”
Erika smiles and looks back at the screen.
“…thanks.”
The two stay silent until the credits roll. Erika claps. Haru doesn’t really understand why - it’s not like the directors are in the room with them - but she claps too. Erika yawns and stretches her arms out in front of her.
She’s like a cat, Haru thinks.
She finishes her stretch and stands up from the loveseat. “Alright, I’m gonna go use the bathroom again, and then… I don’t know, wanna stay for a bit and shoot the shit before you head out?”
Haru thinks for a moment. “…sure. That sounds good.”
Erika trots off once more towards the restroom, leaving Haru once again alone with her thoughts.
Okay. Alright. Haru. We need to figure this out here and now.
Q: Do you like Erika?
A: Of course, she’s my friend.
Q: But do you want to be more than just friends?
A: …
Haru thinks about her and Erika in the hot springs. She didn’t think twice about getting into the bath with her.
A: …
Haru thinks about her birthday. How Erika treated her like she was just any other girl.
A: …
Haru thinks about Erika’s laugh. She thinks about her crying over the climax of the movie. She thinks about how close they were sitting together.
A: …
Haru thinks about how it would feel to be held by Erika. Kissed by her. Touched by her. Loved by her.
A: …
A: …yeah. Yeah, I do.
Q: So, are you going to tell her?
A: …
A: …
A: …
Fine.
Erika returns to the living room. “Hey Haru, you alright? You look kind of… think-y.” She sits back down on the loveseat.
“Yeah, I’m just… thinking.” Wow, real master wordsmith over here.
“Oh, okay.” Erika stays silent for a moment. “About what?”
“Well,” Haru begins,
→ Lie to her
Avoid the question
Tell her the truth
“I just…”
Lie to her
→ Avoid the question
Tell her the truth
“I don’t know, I…”
Lie to her
Avoid the question
→ Tell her the truth
“...”
Lie to her
Avoid the question
→ Tell her the truth
“I lied to you,” Haru blurts out. “When I came over to your house last week, on my birthday. I lied to you.”
“W-what? What did you lie about?”
“About…” Haru swallows. “A-about Manami. I didn’t like her. I mean, used to, back at the hot springs, but after a while I realized that she would only ever see me as a friend, and I accepted that, and the feelings just… went away.”
“But… why did you lie about-”
“Because I needed a reason to turn you down!”
…
No response. Haru keeps talking.
“I-I don’t know what I’m doing, okay? My feelings have been… they’ve been a maelstrom for months now and I don’t know what to do! I was so scared when you said you wanted to k-kiss me, because nobody had ever told me that before. A-and I didn’t know how to respond. So I lied. I’m sorry.” Haru looks down at her lap. She feels like she’s about to cry.
“Well, how about now?”
Haru looks back up. “What?”
“You told me that you don’t like Manami anymore. So…” Erika rubs the back of her neck. “If I told you I still wanted to kiss you, what would you say?”
“I’d…”
→ SAY IT
“...”
→ SAY IT
“…I’d tell you that I wanted to kiss you, too,” she mutters.
Erika smirks. “Sorry, I couldn’t hear you. Could you say that a bit louder?”
“I said, I want to kiss you!”
“Then why aren’t you kissing me yet?”
“Because, I…” Haru fiddles with her hair, her fleeting moment of confidence having gone as quickly as it came. “I haven’t done it before. M’ nervous.”
“Want me to teach you?”
Haru shakes her head. “No, not yet. I’m still… I don’t know. I mean I want to, I just-”
Her breath hitches as Erika gently takes her hand.
“That’s okay,” she says. “I can wait.”
“...thanks.”
“I’m glad I met you, Haru.”
“So am I.”
-----
The storm outside is still going strong by 10:00 PM. Haru tries to leave, but Erika insists that she stay the night.
“Wouldn’t want you to walk home in the rain,” Erika says.
“I have an umbrella,” Haru replies.
“But it’s dark. You’d get lost.”
“I know the town well enough.”
“It’s cold out there.”
“I have a coat.” Haru starts to stand up from the loveseat.
“I’ll miss you.”
“…me too.”
She sits back down.
“So, what’s the issue?” Erika grabs Haru’s hands. “Just stay here for the night. Please?”
Haru sighs. “You’re lucky I’m such a pushover. Yeah, I… I’ll stay here for the night.”