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“Jimin-ah! Hurry up!” Jimin runs behind him, the sound of his boots are louder than normal on this quiet evening. The wind accompanying them is howling in fear of the two getting caught. It’s darker than usual, the familiar moon that would usually shine her light on them is now hidden behind dark clouds, but it is okay. Running has become as easy as breathing for them.
Jimin has been running since forever; from people, from his feelings, from the world, but now, he is not on this path alone. Along the way, as he ran and ran till his feet would be covered in bruises and cuts, he met another runner. Painful looking red blisters had formed on the boy's feet, his breathing was irregular, but still he kept smiling.
It was not a fake smile. Jimin was an expert at hiding his pain behind a smile, so recognizing one was not that difficult, but this boy was smiling at him and extending his hand as an invitation to join his run.
Jimin, who had always run away from people, who had learned to run alone, had to his own surprise accepted the boy’s hand and was now running alongside him. The pain in his feet stayed, but the form of a genuine smile was a nice addition to his face.
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It’s night and stars are decorating the sky. Little orbs thousands of kilometres away from them are scattered over the darkness, making the two feel less lonely on these desolated streets. Cars, empty and abandoned, are parked at the sideline, whereas the traffic light springs on green for the non-existent drivers to go.
Jimin laughs and runs even faster. Here, at this hour on the sidewalk, he was free. No one could stop him from running; no light, no sign, not anyone would take away this power from him.
Jimin sees how the boy in front of him is occasionally looking backwards to check if he is still following him. Jimin smiles, which makes the other laugh too. ‘’Enjoying this?’’ The one in the front shouts at him while he keeps running. The sudden scream of joy that Jimin lets out answers his question and both boys smile.
It’s not the first time this exact scenario has happened and it will definitely not be the last time either. The late night breeze is chiller than usual, but it doesn’t matter, because right now it’s perfect. It feels perfect on the heated skin of the two boys running through the streets.
Their faces are flushed red from the adrenaline and their body warmth. Jimin looks behind him, two police officers are still running after them. It will not take long before police sirens will accompany them too. Jimin doesn't worry. Jimin can’t remember the last time he had worried when he was with Yoongi.
“How far?” Yoongi shouts at him. Jimin looks behind him again. “At least 20 metres.” Yoongi begins to laugh. “Slow as always.” With a grin on his face, Jimin looks at the spray can in his hand, some of the yellow paint spilled on his hand. As he looks at the night sky again, Jimin thinks that no one would be able to do justice to the beauty of the starry night on a canvas.
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Jimin tightens his grip on the can and keeps running. When he and Yoongi were chased by the police for the first time for painting graffiti on the wall, they were scared, but mostly angry and confused. Not all art made with graffiti is equally good, but that’s just what art is.
The first time Jimin had met Yoongi, the boy had looked very intimidating. With several cuts in his lip, cheekbone and on his nose. Jimin had thought he had broken his nose. His hair was hidden by a black baseball cap, but when he had put it off Jimin saw how his bleached hair was damaged and messy. His clothes were somewhat okay, but he had black ripped jeans on that didn't look like they were meant to be ripped. Jimin's first thought was not that he looked good.
It came later, when he realised that this boy was art and that art was not meant to look nice. Art was supposed to make you feel something.
“Jimin, come on!” Jimin can easily run past Yoongi but he won’t, he never will in fact. He will always choose to run behind. Will always choose to watch over him.
When they crossed paths, Jimin was a mess. He struggled with school, with work, with religion, with his sexuality, with life in general. When Yoongi found him one night, when he had drunk so much alcohol that he couldn't even stand straight, he hadn't realised how his life would change.
Jimin had stumbled out of the bar, very grateful for the bitterly coldness of that night to sober him up, and had plopped down on the edge of the sidewalk. His vision was blurry and every time he closed his eyes it felt like the darkness had put him on an endless roller coaster. The chattering of people and the bass of the music slowly faded to the background and Jimin was afraid he would drift to sleep like this.
A firm hand was placed on his shoulder and Jimin wanted to jerk away, but couldn't find the strength to. He slowly looked up and looked at the boy who would change his life for the better.
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“I don’t see them anymore!” Jimin announces after a while. They have been running for what feels like an eternity. Still, Jimin knows he doesn't really want it any other way. He doesn’t know why exactly, but he finds himself smiling the whole time. Is it the adrenaline rush? Or is he just crazy? Maybe it’s both?
Jimin looks ahead of him, watching how Yoongi's mint hair gets blown by the wind. It’s much better than his previous bleached hair and the mint reminds him of his own orange hair. It is a happy memory wherein Jimin had forced Yoongi to get rid of the blonde. And to not let the other boy feel lonely, Jimin surprised him the next day, when he greeted Yoongi with his newly orange dyed hair. He remembers how Yoongi's pale cheeks had tinted a beautiful pink by his gesture.
Jimin watches how he runs, how his back muscles tense with every move and his right hand holds another graffiti can. Jimin knows exactly why he is smiling.
They have almost lost them, Jimin can’t see the cops anymore, but he can hear the faintest sound of approaching sirens coming their way. Just a little more of zigzagging through the neighbourhood and taking turns in going right and left to shake them off and they will be free. It always works. Jimin and Yoongi’s plan always works.
Suddenly, Yoongi turns his head around and looks at him. It's one of those soft gazes, tranquil and somewhat peaceful. It makes the stress in Jimin's body leave immediately.
Yoongi has beautiful cat-like eyes and when he looks at Jimin time stops or it goes slower, he doesn't really know. He just feels how everything turns a little brighter. He can hear his heartbeat accompanied by his heavy breathing and he is suddenly aware of the sweaty white shirt that is plastered to his body.
When Yoongi smiles at him he does it with his whole face. It's a mix of the crinkling of his eyes, the corners of his mouth turning upwards as he bares his gums and the flexing of the muscles in the apples of his cheeks. He smiles with all three, but especially with his eyes and Jimin knows that no artist will ever be able to capture this look Yoongi is giving to him now.
Yoongi extends his hand and no words are needed to be spoken for Jimin to slide his own hand into his.
Holding hands, the purest form of human connection and Jimin never want sto let go.
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He remembers the first time they held hands. It was a sunny day, not too warm and not too cold, just perfect. It was a little crowded and the smell of tteokbokki was filling his nostrils. Their hands were loosely hanging beside them and Jimin remembers how their fingers shyly graced against each other. He wanted to hold it, but he didn't know if that was okay.
He started to get nervous and he felt how his hand started to get sweaty. That was the absolute worst that could happen to him at that moment. What if they held hands right now and Yoongi would be disgusted with how clammy the palms of his hands were?
Jimin became hyper aware of every little touch as he walked down the street. He had quickly glanced down to see how close they were and what happened then was something he would remember for the rest of his life; how he saw how Yoongi’s pinkie slowly got even closer till he touches his own pinkie and before he could react Yoongi had intertwined their two fingers. Jimin had looked up, only to be met with Yoongi's eyes who were already looking at him.
Jimin couldn't see himself, but he was sure his whole face had become red. Yoongi had amusedly smiled at him and slowly but steadily to not scare him off, he had intertwined all of their fingers together. Jimin glanced down and then up again. He sighed so deeply, feeling like he forgot to breathe there for a minute. The last thing he remembers is that since that moment nothing has felt as much as home as when he holds Yoongi’s hands.
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Now they are running side by side. Hands linked and the beating of their hearts in sync. Yoongi looks at his side and smiles. He is sure he will get cramps in his face with all the smiling he has done this evening. But even when it hurts he would keep smiling.
Before he met Jimin, life was dull, colourless, sad even. Life had become something he didn't live, but rather survived. He lived a life where smiling was something he did on rare occasions. His parents had let go of him a long time ago, right at the moment he needed them the most. When he struggled with school it was never ‘how can we help you?’ it was always ‘why can’t you do something right!’ It didn't take long before he spiralled into a depression. He never got officially diagnosed, but he knew.
Yoongi was lonely, utterly and extremely lonely so to say. He had friends, a couple of them, but no one succeeded in filling up this void in his life and in his heart. He had friends to go out with, to do homework with, to talk with, but when he struggled with himself and his feelings, when he struggled with school and his life, no one was really there for him. Till Jimin. Until he stumbled on someone who was equally broken as him.
He remembers approaching a boy sitting on the hard pavement outside the bar he was just in. He had placed his hand on the stranger's shoulder without even thinking twice. The boy didn't react immediately, but he knew that was because of all the alcohol in the boy's system. The boy had then looked up at him, with his big brown eyes and for the first time in a long time Yoongi had felt something.
It took some convincing but eventually the boy let him get pulled up by him. That night Yoongi got to hear every miserable detail out of the stranger’s life. From the way he couldn't focus on school because of his adhd, which he also didn't get diagnosed with officially because his parents didn't believe in it, how his behaviour had become aggressive because of all the pent up frustration, how he saw himself getting further away from his family and how he felt about living.
Yoongi clearly remembers how he felt when the boy told him how he sometimes wishes he didn't wake up anymore. Yoongi had unknowingly started to cry. He also laughed, because it was absurd how much they were alike. Although they didn't look like each other, their souls were the same.
Yoongi tightens his grip on Jimin's hand while they continue running. He closes his eyes for a split second and then gazes at the sky. How everything feels so easy when he is around Jimin is still something he doesn’t understand and perhaps never will, but since the day they met, everyday forward, Yoongi physically feels his soul healing. Jimin has never said anything like that ever again, so Yoongi assumes that his soul is healing too.
The sound of an approaching police car is getting louder, meaning the cops are near. Yoongi looks at their combined hands and then up in Jimin's eyes. The boy smiles at him and nudges him to run a little faster. One of their hiding spots is near. Just a couple more streets and they will be safe. Yoongi feels the exhaustion getting to him. Jimin notices it and squeezes his hand.
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A couple of months had passed after they first met. In the beginning Jimin still lived with his parents and Yoongi had rented a room in a ramshackle flat. After seeing where Yoongi lived, Jimin was determined to find something better. Soon they both found a job and after some more months filled with stress, exhaustion, but hope passed, they had saved up enough money to rent a studio. Half a year went flying by and things finally got a bit better. They were still broken, but at least they were not alone.
Right now, not months, but years passed by and although they were still not fully on the right path, they finally felt like they were living. Their interest in street art started a couple of months ago and it was just a matter of time before a corner in their room was filled with graffiti cans consisting of a variety of colours.
Yoongi pulls Jimin to the side and they hastily run into an alley. With their backs against the wall they finally have come to a stop. They control their heavy breathing quickly and keep as quiet as possible to hear whether the police were still after them or not.
As they stand there in the pitch black darkness, Yoongi looks sideways again. He notices how there is one lamppost located on the sidewalk that is dimly lit up. The somewhat yellowish glow might seem ugly at first sight but when it casts its reflection on Jimin’s face, Yoongi's world quite literally stops. But perhaps it always stops when he is with him.
‘’Staring is rude, don't you think?’’ Jimin breathes out. He is still gasping for air as he wipes his sweaty forehead with his t-shirt. Yoongi keeps staring at his jawline, his nose, his cheek, at Jimin. Jimin rests the back of his head against the cold wall and turns his face towards Yoongi.
‘’Yoongi.’’
Yoongi mirrors his position and sighs. ‘’You tired?’’ Jimin laughs and closes his eyes. Yoongi watches how his breathing becomes more stable and his lips purse a little. ‘’That was a close one.’’ Yoongi hums in agreement, his arms hang awkwardly beside his body and it just feels like the first time again.
His hand comes closer to Jimin’s and their fingers gently grace against each other. He hears Jimin laugh. ‘’I love you.’’ Jimin says and this time he's the one who takes the initiative to hold their hands and interlock their fingers together. Yoongi blushes at the words and he grips Jimin's hand harder.
‘’Jimin.’’
Jimin hums absently, but when Yoongi doesn't speak further he opens his eyes and looks at his side again. Yoongi is leaning against the wall in the exact same position as him. His head is turned towards him and he looks at him with that soft gaze again. Jimin wishes he could be able to describe the look in Yoongi's eyes better, but he just can’t. He can’t and frankly it doesn't matter. He feels it in his heart.
Jimin looks at their hands again and briefly wonders how he had ended up here. He remembers how his christian parents had talked about heaven and hell. About how he has to survive earth, have faith in God, do good and only then, he will be granted access to heaven and if not, he would be doomed to suffer in hell.
Jimin doesn't believe in that, as he already has experienced hell on earth. Jimin believes that both hell and heaven are here on earth.
So, when Yoongi holds Jimin’s hand and Jimin holds Yoongi’s hand, they both belief that perhaps what people say about heaven being somewhere above the universe, above space, wherever it is, that it must not be true, as both boys realise that heaven isn’t as far away as they taught it was.
After experiencing hell, the both of them know that as long as they hold on to each other, heaven is right here.
‘’I love you too.’’
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