Work Text:
Remus turned slowly in a circle, his foot catching on a discarded robe. He leaned down hesitantly to pick it up, dropping it as he felt the blood that covered it. His eyes followed a trail of blood from the robe towards one of the beds. Dread growing in his chest his body couldn’t decide between moving faster towards the disaster in front of him or putting off the inevitable. When he reached the bed, the shredded curtains hanging limply half off the rod. He only saw the outline of a body, covered in blood before his knees gave out. He crashed down at the side of the bed and his vision caught on the unseeing eyes of Sirius in front of him.
Bile rose in his throat so fast he slammed his hand into his mouth, jarring himself as he felt claws against him. But he couldn’t let go because his eyes skimmed over Sirius where he saw the mangled bodies of James and Peter. And behind them, the room stretched out farther until he could see all the way down into the Gryffindor common room, the whole way strewn with bodies. His head fell forward to the bed frame in front of him. When he thought he might be able to take another breath, he pulled his head back, only to drop it down again. Again. Harder. Then harder still.
The next hit came with a resounding crash and Remus jumped up.
Pulling his hand up to run it through his hair, he found it clear of blood. Looking around, he found himself sitting up in his bed, curtains were drawn, thunder crashing outside as if it meant to take the tower to the ground with it. Remus’ breathing was still coming in rapid gasping sobs. Remembering something Sirius had told him last time this kind of thing had happened he started trying to focus on what was real around him. 5 things he could see - the curtains, his blanket, his hand… The rain came hard against the window next to him which helped ground him, but he knew there was one thing, in particular, he needed to see before he could breathe again.
Shaking, he pulled his curtain open and breathed slightly easier as he looked around the room. None of the beds were broken, no curtains were shredded, and no blood coated the floor. He watched the rain beating against the window until he got his legs to move across the room where he could hear quiet snores.
When he pulled the curtain back he wasn’t met with the face he expected. Curled up on the pillow at the head of the bed was a fluffy black dog making little snores as he slept. Remus was caught in the sight of how warm and comforting Padfoot was and let himself be distracted trying to match his breathing down to the dogs. His breathing was almost the same as the dogs when he saw a hitch in the dog's breath and held his own in turn. Remus moved to return to his own bed but was led in place by the dog's silver eyes staring at him. The dog seemed to look him up and down and subtly sniffed the air. Remus went to move again, but the dog transformed into Sirius in front of him and those same silver eyes stared him down.
Quietly he asked, “You alright Moony?”
Remus shifted his feet and glanced back towards his bed. He couldn’t quite meet Sirius’ eyes as he responded, “Yeah, I’m fine, I was just-” He started walking backward, unable to look at Sirius again. He heard Sirius shift and he looked up when he heard Sirius patting the side of the bed closest to Remus.
“Moony, get over here.”
Remus paused, his foot still in the air from his backward steps, just in time for him to trip over an uneven bit of floor and he just barely caught his balance before he splayed out on the floor.
“Lay down before you hurt yourself. No one needs you bleeding all over the place.” Remus couldn't hide his flinch or stop the quiet shaking that returned to his body with that image. He felt Sirius’ eyes sweep over him as he sucked in a breath.
“Oh, Rem, I’m so sorry.” Sirius reached up for him and Remus couldn’t hold himself back anymore, he caved and let himself fall into Sirius’ arms. Sirius wrapped around him like an octopus as Remus gasped into his neck, trying to calm his breath back down. He felt anger at himself bubbling up inside. He couldn’t even breathe for a few minutes without panicking again. He had woken Sirius up in the middle of the night. He couldn’t even sleep through a storm. He knew nothing was going to happen and yet his throat still felt tight.
He started to recognize that Sirius was talking to him. Quiet words whispered in his ear as Sirius gently rubbed his back and as Remus focused on those points of contact - Sirius rubbing his back, the smell of his hair where Remus was pressed against his neck, Sirius’ other arm wrapped around his waist - Remus felt the air move more smoothly through his throat until he could breathe and hear Sirius’ words.
“You’re okay. You’re safe. Just breathe with me, okay Remus? Just hang in there.”
Slowly, Remus relaxed into Sirius’ grip, letting himself sink into the clingy octopus next to him. He felt Sirius’ grin as he loosened up.
After a few minutes, he started getting anxious again.
“I have to go back to bed,” Remus said quietly. He felt Sirius’ grip on him tighten.
“No, you don’t.”
“James won’t let us hear the end of it if I stay here.”
“You don’t know that,” Sirius replied reasonably but Remus just scoffed nervously.
“Last time he didn’t drop it for like 3 weeks so… I’d rather not… you know.”
“You’d rather go lay in your bed and have yet another panic attack tonight instead.”
That left Remus quiet. And Sirius nodded satisfied, assuming he won until Remus started squirming again. Sirius smacked the back of his head.
“Oi! What was that for?” Remus pulled back to glare at Sirius, only to be met with a very unimpressed face.
“You’re thinking too loud. Words, Rem.” Remus stared hard at the pillow under Sirius’ head instead of looking at his face until he caught sight of Sirius’ hand rising up behind his head again out of the corner of his eyes.
“Oi!” He pushed himself up a little higher, pulling his head out of reach of Sirius’ hand. He ran one of his hands through his hair. Sirius watched him closely.
“I would say I’ve got all night but I kinda want to get back to my beauty sleep Rem, so spit it out or I’m going to be forced to take drastic actions.” He raised his fingers threateningly up to Remus’ armpits and Remus gasped, crossing his arms in front of himself to defend himself. He huffed when Sirius’ retreated and held his hands up in surrender.
“I- Would you-” He took a deep breath before continuing, “I wanted to ask if I - if you, could be Padfoot? For tonight?” His brows scrunched up in concern as he waited for Sirius’ response.
To his surprise, Sirius sat up further to place a gentle kiss on his forehead and Remus’ face erupted in flames. “Anything for my Moony,” Sirius said grinning. “You just can’t handle this much in the same bed? I get it.” Remus scoffed and rolled his eyes.
“Actually, I’m just fond of you as a mutt. Padfoot talks back less.” Sirius raised a hand to his chest in mock offense. “And he snores quieter.”
“Lies,” Sirius whispered. But before Remus could respond he felt Sirius shift out from under him and in seconds he was face to face with a fluffy black dog again. Padfoot reached out his wet nose and licked gently up Remus’ red cheek. Remus huffed and rubbed it off with the back of his hand.
“You’re disgusting Pads,” he said. But the dog looked quite proud of himself. The dog pawed at Remus's shoulder to get him to lay down fully on the bed and nosed at the covers to get Remus to get under. Then Padfoot snuck under himself and curled up against Remus’ chest, sighing in relief as Remus’ arms wrapped around him. Remus’ fingers threaded through Padfoot’s fur and soon Remus’ breathing evened out, his body fully relaxed, his arms now hanging gently around the dog. Padfoot lifted his snout to lick Remus’ face again before he fell asleep.
-
Padfoot woke up to the sound of feet approaching the closed curtains of his bed. They paused when they reached the bed and he saw a mess of bed head peeking around the corner quietly calling, “Sirius?” Padfoot’s head was just sticking out from under the blanket and he glared at James. Remus stayed asleep next to him while James was trying to cover his snicker behind his hand. When James turned to gesture to someone behind him, Padfoot’s gums came up revealing his teeth and he let out a low growl, shocking James into freezing. He made eye contact with Padfoot and the dog growled low again and subtly shook his head. James took in Remus’ red eyes and his face softened and he nodded once before turning and closing the curtain behind him.
Slightly muffled Padfoot could hear him moving across the room, “I think he already went down Peter, we’ll catch up with him later.”
Satisfied Padfoot rested his muzzle on Remus’ shoulder and let himself listen to the slow even breaths, leaving Remus to sleep in peace for as long as he could.