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The members of SEVENTEEN had gained the habit of teasing each other from being stuck in the green room all day during their trainee years. Having thirteen people stuffed into one room all the time meant that the members had to take every opportunity they could to have a laugh.
Every tiny mistake someone made could easily become a joke.
For Junhui and his anxiety, this was a great thing, as the fear of being the subject of the group’s jokes for a few days made him practise the dances and songs until he was sure he could make no mistakes.
Unfortunately for Junhui, the teasing never quite ended after their debut. Of course, it did die down a little, but even small mistakes would occasionally be picked up for a new joke.
It was one of those days where BooSeokSoon were looking for something new to pick on.
Junhui had been having a terrible week, finding out his brother was sick and not being allowed to go home. They were right in the midst of preparing for a new comeback and Junhui had already been pushed to his limits, overworking, under-eating and not sleeping nearly enough.
Junhui had been woken up at five in the morning by Minghao jumping onto him, shaking him awake and telling him the shower was free. Junhui took the opportunity for a quick shower, pulling on some sweatpants and an oversized shirt with some comfortable sneakers and a white cap to cover his head. Minghao seemed to have stolen his favourite shirt again, as he was wearing it as he ate some cereal.
Junhui was just about to pour himself a bowl of cereal when their manager came in to tell them it was time to leave. With a heavy sigh, Junhui abandoned the empty bowl and followed the members out to the three cars.
By the time they had been over their dance at least six times, Junhui felt ready to drop to the floor and slip into a coma.
During the seventh performance, Junhui’s vision faded to black for a moment as he spun around too fast, making him stumble to regain his balance. Chan grabbed his arm to stop him from falling.
Almost as soon as Junhui regained his balance and his head stopped spinning, Seungkwan and Seokmin started to badly reenact the fall, tripping over their own feet and trying to catch themselves.
Junhui fell to the floor, tears filling his eyes as he watched Soonyoung join in the bad recreations of the fall.
Vernon knelt next to Junhui, taking his hand.
“Are you okay, Jun-Hyung?” Vernon asked, voice shaking slightly.
Junhui shook his head. “I think I’m gonna throw up.”
Vernon yelled something at Seungcheol, who quickly brought over the plastic bin just as Junhui broke, anxiety peaking as he threw up into the bin.
Seungkwan, Seokmin and Soonyoung quickly stopped their teasing when they saw Junhui looking pale and broken on the floor, realising their mistake too late to do anything but apologise.
Junhui was struggling to breathe as tears rolled down his cheeks, limbs trembling as he gasped, trying to draw in oxygen.
Junhui felt like his head was going to explode, the room around him spinning too much and vision turning too blurry to recognise any of the people around him. The feelings were too confusing to make sense of. His body felt so warm and sweaty, yet he was shivering so much. Everything around him was blurry yet Junhui felt so hyperfocused on every sensation. His limbs were going numb and his tongue felt like sandpaper in his mouth and Junhui felt like he was slowly losing consciousness, losing sanity.
A loud scream ripped from his throat, making everyone back away from him, followed by desperate and pained sobs.
Minghao stepped closer, placing a gentle hand on Junhui’s back. Junhui flinched, but Minghao didn’t back away.
“Hui-Ge. You’re having a panic attack. Remember when you helped me through one. You know, the one when I scratched up my face. You can get through this, you just need to listen to me and try taking some deep breaths.”
Junhui shook his head, gasping weakly.
“HuiHui, please tell me five things you can see,” Minghao whispered, taking Junhui’s hands and rubbing his thumbs over Junhui’s knuckles.
“You, the mirror, the floor, Seungcheol and Jeonghan.” Junhui babbled, words starting to slur together in Junhui’s panic.
Minghao nodded, smiling sweetly. “Okay, now four things you can touch.”
Junhui whimpered softly as he shuffled a little. “The floor, your hands, my shirt and the wall.”
“That’s good. Really good. Now three things you can hear.” Minghao whispered softly, pleased when Junhui’s breathing began to calm down.
“The wind outside, your voice, someone’s phone.” Junhui had started slowing down his responses, much to Minghao’s relief.
Minghao now knew exactly how Junhui felt while trying to calm him down. The two Chinese men had bonded over both their nationalities and their anxiety since they had first joined.
“Yes, Junnie. Now two things you can smell.”
Junhui took one deep breath, making Minghao smile in relief. “Sweat and your shampoo.”
“Very good, now one last thing you can taste.”
Junhui’s tongue peeked out from between his lips, “My lip balm.”
Junhui was finally taking deep breaths, although his chest was still heaving.
“There we go, HuiHui,” Minghao whispered, sitting down properly so Junhui could lean against him.
One thing Minghao wasn’t expecting was for Junhui to whimper as he placed his head on Minghao’s shoulder.
“What’s wrong, Junnie?” Minghao asked, petting Junhui’s hair.
“Wan’ kitty,” Junhui whined, kicking his legs a little and tucking his head into Minghao’s neck.
Minghao looked up at the other members with pleading eyes, way out of his depth. Minghao had no idea how to deal with a little. Minghao had no idea Junhui even was a little.
Now that Junhui was obviously out of the panic attack, Wonwoo moved forward to comfort Junhui.
“Hey, honey. What would you like us to call you?” Wonwoo whispered, brushing Junhui’s sweaty hair back.
“I’m HuiHui,” Junhui said with a slightly tired smile.
Wonwoo placed his hands under Junhui’s arms and lifted him to his feet, thankful that Junhui was light. “Okay, HuiHui. How about we go home to Kitty?”
Junhui nodded, leaning heavily against Wonwoo.
Minghao followed behind them as they headed back out to the car, slightly nervous as Mingyu held his hand.
In the two years Minghao and Junhui had been dating and the year and a half they’d been sharing a bed, Minghao had never known anything about Junhui being a little. Junhui had either hidden it incredibly well or this was a first time thing. Maybe Junhui only used it to deal with completely overwhelming stress?
Junhui sat between Wonwoo and Minghao in the car, leaning on Minghao’s shoulder but holding Wonwoo’s hand.
Wonwoo seemed to know quite a bit about littles, but he was inexperienced. Minghao knew a little bit, but was very inexperienced.
Junhui was fast asleep by the time they reached the dorm, so Wonwoo picked him up with an arm looped under his knees and the other under Junhui’s back.
Wonwoo carried Junhui up to the eighth floor, gently placing him down in bed.
Minghao put down his and Junhui’s bags on the floor, grabbing Junhui’s cat plushie and tucking it into the sleeping boy’s arms. Junhui unconsciously pulled the plushie close to his chest with a small smile.
Minghao looked up at Wonwoo with slightly scared eyes as Wonwoo moved to leave the room. “Wonu, please stay. I don’t know how to deal with this. You seem to know more.”
Wonwoo sighed, moving back towards the bed. “There’s not enough room in the bed for all three of us.”
“Yes, there is,” Minghao argued, pulling Wonwoo down to lay on the other side of Junhui. “Help me look after him.”
Wonwoo chuckled as Junhui whined, rolling over to face Minghao.
“Wha’s wrong HaoHao?” Junhui whispered, rubbing his face into the head of his plushie.
Minghao brushed Junhui’s hair back. “Nothing, HuiHui. Everything’s fine. Perfect.”
Junhui pressed a small kiss to Minghao’s cheek, which Minghao returned with a warm smile. Junhui giggled at the gesture, one hand releasing his plushie so he could hold Minghao’s hand. Wonwoo wrapped his arms around Junhui from behind, resting his chin on Junhui’s shoulder.
“Go to sleep, HuiHui, darling. We’ll be right here when you wake up.” Wonwoo whispered, voice low and reassuring.
Junhui closed his eyes with a sigh, falling asleep to Minghao’s gentle, soft humming.