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Every since Minghao revealed his secret to the group they’d been supportive.
SEVENTEEN’s debut has been very stressful for everyone, but especially Minghao. The language barrier and jet lag combined with lack of sleep pushed Minghao over the edge and revealed something he hadn’t known.
When Minghao got stressed out, he would switch to a much younger mindset.
Junhui was the first person to ever help, telling the others that Minghao was sick and to stay out of the room. At the time, Minghao had regressed to seven years old, although they would later discover that when he was really stressed, he could get a lot younger than that.
Two years after their debut Minghao discovered his chronic hypoglycaemia, which added yet another stress factor to the already packed mix of busy schedules and lack of sleep. The additional stress meant he ended up regressing a lot more often, and within a few months of his diagnosis, half the members found out about his regressions.
Minghao decided to give up and just tell everyone his secret, expecting to be kicked out of the group or ostracised, but he received the opposite reaction. The members showered him with love, taking the responsibility of monitoring Minghao’s blood sugar when the Chinese boy was in his little space.
Over the years, some of SEVENTEEN’s worst and best moments had included Minghao in little space, the best being cuddled up in the lounge to watch a movie, showering Minghao in love. Their worst memories were always Minghao’s nightmares and anxiety. He’d had some nightmare-induced panic attacks so intense that he’d thrown up and fainted. There had been times where they’d had to force him to come out of his littlespace to stop him from panicking so much, which was not a pleasant experience for anyone involved, especially not Minghao.
Minghao’s hypoglycaemia was a bit difficult to manage when he was little, as getting a needle stuck into their finger was not something a small child wanted.
Minghao had been having a bad week when he slipped.
The first thing that happened was the manager telling him he wasn’t allowed to go back to China for a week. Over the rest of the week, their choreographer had been overworking them and they hadn’t been getting nearly enough sleep or meals.
Eventually, of course, the exhaustion and lack of food got to them and Minghao started feeling faint right in the middle of practice.
The moment he voiced that he felt faint, a few members rushed over. Maybe it was the slight urgency in his voice or the way he’d suddenly turned pale. Seungcheol and Junhui got him to lie on the floor while Jeonghan grabbed some water and Joshua grabbed his glucometer.
It was as Joshua was cleaning Minghao’s finger that Minghao started to slip, whining and kicking his legs a little.
Seungcheol and Junhui immediately recognised the behaviour and the leader yelled at their choreographer to leave so Minghao could have some privacy.
The moment the door closed behind their choreographer, Minghao let himself slip completely.
“Hey, Froggie. Joshie just needle to prick your finger, alright? It won’t take long and it shouldn’t hurt. Just hold Junnie’s hand.” Junhui whispered, taking the hand Joshua wasn’t preparing to prick.
“Froggie, how small are you feeling?” Seungcheol whispered, rubbing his thumbs over Minghao’s cheekbones.
When Junhui let go of Minghao’s hand, Minghao held up five fingers with a giggle.
Seungcheol smiled, thinking out how they would get him home.
Five was more difficult to manage than seven but much easier than two or three when he would generally be crying the whole time unless he was asleep with his frog plushie.
Minghao let out a whimper as Joshua used the lancing device to prick his finger, blood quickly forming on the spot.
Minghao tried to raise his finger to his mouth to lick away the blood, but Joshua wouldn’t let him.
“Come on, little Froggie. We need to make sure you’re nice and strong and healthy. Just hold still for me, honey.”
Minghao frowned, corners of his lips turning down and eyes turning large and sad.
“No, no, Froggie. Don’t cry. We just need to keep you nice and healthy.”
Minghao shook his head again, sobbing as Joshua pressed the small test strip to the blood on his finger.
The glucometer beeped as it brought up the results.
“46mg/dL. He needs his injection.” Joshua said, watching as Junhui grabbed the small orange box from Minghao’s bag.
Seungcheol pulled Junhui close to whisper in his ear. “Junhui, we’ve never given him an injection while he’s in little space. It’s his safe space. We can’t stick him with a needle while he’s in his safe space.”
Junhui sighed, looking at the boy who had decided to curl up in Jeonghan’s lap.
“Hyung, it’s either we give him the injection or he goes to the hospital, which, may I remind you, is in public, and we don’t want him in public while he’s in his safe space in case someone tries to hurt him,” Junhui argued, still preparing the injection.
Seungcheol gave up and watched as Junhui prepared the injection.
The moment Minghao saw the needle he burst into tears, shaking and crying in Jeonghan’s arms. Minghao looked absolutely terrified, and it was times like this that made Seungcheol wonder if his age regression was some sort of trauma response. As far as Seungcheol knew, Minghao had a good relationship with his parents, although they didn’t know about the regression, and he’d had a lot of supportive friends in his childhood. Seungcheol just found it so hard to watch Minghao crying and screaming after a nightmare.
Joshua was gentle as he unbuttoned Minghao’s shirt a little and pulled one side down so they could reach his upper arm.
Jeonghan’s warm grip wasn’t enough to keep Minghao down. Minghao stumbled up on his wobbly legs and curled into the corner of the room, knees drawn up to his chest as he cried.
Junhui was just heading over to try and get Minghao to let him give him the injection when Seungcheol grabbed his arm.
“No, Junhui. You’re his boyfriend, you should know this best. We don’t force him into anything while he’s in little space. He just wants to feel safe. Sticking him with a needle won’t make him feel safe.”
Junhui sighed and rolled his eyes. “Fine. I’ll just let him pass out then.”
Seungcheol nodded. “Yes, you will. The moment he faints you give him that injection. Alright?”
The four members still in the room moved back to let Minghao calm down a little.
It didn’t take long for Minghao to start shaking, the first signs of a hypo coming on. Not much later the thin layer of sweat on his face became more obvious, and not long after that, his blinks started becoming a lot slower, his head beginning to drop.
Minghao managed to clamber to his feet, clumsily walking over to where Junhui was sitting.
He rubbed his eyes slowly. “GeGe… Froggie feels sick...” Minghao mumbled, voice slow and slurred.
It was just as Minghao finished speaking that his eyes rolled back in his head and he fell to the floor, and something that wouldn’t be a problem if Minghao had the body of a five-year-old, very quickly became a problem.
Junhui didn’t have a second to react as Minghao’s body dropped to the floor, his height causing him a bigger fall, his head hitting the wood with a nasty crack. Junhui was sure he’d heard another noise as Minghao landed on his hand, but he had no time to check as Minghao started convulsing in his arms.
Minghao looked more like a child than he’d ever done since Seungcheol knew him. Even when Minghao snuggled up in a ton of blankets and one of Junhui’s oversized hoodies, surrounded by the members, he had never looked as small as he did during the seizure.
His long limbs were jerking and twitching quickly, breathing weak and rapid. His head was pulled back, jerking back to hit the floor every few seconds. Minghao’s eyes were wide, moving rapidly as he gazed at Junhui’s face, eyes unseeing, pupils dilated so much they almost eclipsed his irises.
Junhui pulled Minghao’s head into his lap, rolling him up onto his side as Seungcheol grabbed his arm. Junhui stuck the needle into Minghao’s bicep, emptying the glucagon into his body.
It took three minutes for the seizure to start coming to an end, convulsions weakening until he was lying limp in Junhui’s arms.
Nobody spoke or dared move Minghao for fear of scaring him, but Jeonghan grabbed an ice pack and wrapped it around Minghao’s wrist, which had quickly swollen up since the seizure started.
Minghao flinched away when the cold ice pack touched his arm, but let Jeonghan secure it.
The next thing Minghao did was open his eyes, scanning around the room before bursting into tears. Seungcheol and Junhui moved closer, Minghao climbing into Junhui’s lap and crying into his chest.
“You’re okay, Froggie. It’s okay.” Junhui assured him, rubbing a hand up and down Minghao’s back with the other brushing through the hair at the nape of Minghao’s neck.
Seungcheol was worried. Minghao had been living with hypoglycaemia for years yet he’d never had a seizure, and he’d never been in little space during a serious hypo.
It was a day of concerning firsts for the group.
Minghao was working himself up, not breathing deeply enough to supply his body with oxygen.
“Wan’ teddy,” Minghao whined, letting Junhui dry his eyes with his sleeve.
Jeonghan quickly grabbed the small frog plushie from Minghao’s bag and handed it to the little.
Minghao immediately buried his face in the soft material, letting out another loud sob and cradling his wrist in his plushie.
Seungcheol tried to reach out, trying to check how bad Minghao’s wrist was.
“No… Hurts…” Minghao cried, pulling away from the leader.
Minghao looked so small and fragile curled in Junhui’s lap, long fingers clutching his plushie to his chest.
“HaoHao, you hurt your arm when you fell over. We need to make sure you didn’t break it, alright? And can you tell us anything else that hurts?” Jeonghan whispered, brushing Minghao’s hair away from his sweaty face.
Minghao knew it was serious by what Jeonghan called him. Minghao loved being called Froggie while he was in little space, but being called HaoHao meant something was serious.
Jeonghan gently took Minghao’s arm, gently pulling it closer and turning it over.
“M-My head…” Minghao whined, looking up at Junhui with a desperate expression.
Junhui moved his gentle hands to carefully examine Minghao’s head. There was a large bump on the side of his head from him hitting the floor and his pupils were dilated, eyes slightly glazed.
Junhui pulled Seungcheol closer to whisper in his ear. “He’s concussed.”
Jeonghan leaned over too. “I think his wrist is broken. The bone doesn’t feel right.”
Seungcheol sighed. “Fine, we take him to the hospital but he gets complete privacy. We’re not forcing him out of his headspace.”
Junhui and Jeonghan agreed.
“Froggie, we need you to stand up for us so we can get out to the car. It might be a bit difficult but we will help. How small are you feeling?” Jeonghan asked as Junhui packed up Minghao’s backpack and pulled it up onto his back.
Minghao held up two fingers as he rubbed at his sleepy eyes. “Froggie tired…” Minghao mumbled, resting his head against Seungcheol.
Jeonghan shook his head. “No, HaoHao, we need you in the car. Junnie’s gonna help you up.”
Minghao whined as Junhui placed his hands under Minghao’s arms, pulling him up to his feet. At first, the little stumbled, struggling to stay balanced on his feet. For a second he looked like he was about to faint, so Seungcheol, Junhui and Jeonghan all grabbed him, and Joshua moved behind him to catch him if he fell.
Minghao was too small to realise what was going on. If his brain was two years old, Minghao had no idea what a seizure was or even why he was feeling so terrible. From previous experience, Seungcheol knew that concussions could cause a sort of cloud of confusion to settle over him. Pair the concussion with Minghao’s postical state and he was probably very confused, not to mention the fact he was still deep in littlespace, most likely trying to hide from the stress of his seizure.
Seungcheol was beyond worried for his friend.
———————
At the hospital, Minghao was examined by a doctor which was a bit of a struggle with the poor boy in littlespace. He didn’t want the strange man in scrubs to touch him. The next problem was that he wouldn’t hold still for an X-Ray of his arm, so eventually, a psychiatrist was sent down to examine him.
Seungcheol tried to understand, but he was still furious that the doctors felt Minghao was insane or had a problem.
There was a brief argument between Seungcheol and the psychiatrist, which Jeonghan quickly broke up.
“Cheol, the doctor is only doing his job, and you know what, I agree. We still don’t know if his regression is a trauma response or not. Maybe an examination could help.” Jeonghan argued, pushing Seungcheol away from the psychiatrist.
Seungcheol eventually gave up and let the psychiatrist enter the room where Minghao was lying in bed playing games on Junhui’s phone, swollen arm splinted until they could get an X-Ray.
Junhui was sent out of the room and the three idols waited anxiously outside for the examination to finish.
It took about half an hour, after which the psychiatrist came out to talk to the three.
“I’ve spoken to Minghao and after a bit of an examination he did come out of his littlespace, but I believe he regressed again when I left the room. Minghao confided in me that his age regression is indeed a sort of trauma response to high stress and anxiety. He mentioned having a difficult time with bullies at school but it’s his choice if he wants to go into detail with you. I suggest inquiring with a GP about getting him some anti-anxiety medication if he feels that he wants to have more control over his regression. Of course, it’s his choice what he wants to do and I have told him that I want him to speak to you when he isn’t regressed. I can always write to his GP if you do want the anti-anxiety medication.”
Seungcheol smiled and sighed. “Thank you so much. I’m sorry I yelled at you, I was just worried about him getting agitated. He usually does with strangers while he’s regressed. Can I give you his GPs details in case he wants that medication?”
The psychiatrist agreed and wrote down some of the details before heading off to his office.
Seungcheol was so thankful that they’d finally found a reason for his regression, but the conversation he would save for another time.
The three headed back into the room where Minghao was lying in bed with a colouring book and some crayons, messily colouring in and completely ignoring the outline of the frog.
“Hey, HaoHao. I think the doctors want to try again with that X-Ray. Do you think you could hold still for them?” Seungcheol asked, sitting down on the bed and placing his hand on Minghao’s leg.
Minghao giggled cutely and nodded. “Wanna go home.” He whined softly, throwing a crayon at Seungcheol.
Junhui frowned at the little. “Honey, what did we say about hitting people?”
Minghao just batted his eyes at Junhui with an innocent smile. Junhui laughed and took Minghao’s unbandaged hand. “How about that X-Ray? I’ll get your doctor.”
Minghao frowned as Junhui left the room, but was soon back to his colouring book, tongue between his teeth as he thought about what colour to use next.
Junhui soon returned with a new doctor. She was wearing pale pink scrubs with a smile on her face.
“Hello, Minghao. I’m here to take you for your X-Ray.” She smiled warmly, sitting on the edge of Minghao’s bed and gently closing his colouring book.
“I’m Froggie,” Minghao whined, kicking the thin hospital blanket off his legs.
The doctor just giggled quietly. “I’m sorry, Froggie. I’m Dr Ahn. I’m sure if you hold very still for the nice nurse, your lovely HuiHui can get you a new plushie.”
Minghao looked up at the mention of a plushie, taking Dr Ahn’s hand and letting her guide him out of the room.
Junhui and Seungcheol followed behind, Jeonghan staying behind to make the room a little more comforting for Minghao, as his concussion meant he would have to stay the night.
Junhui leaned into Seungcheol while they were following Dr Ahn and Minghao to the X-Ray room. “I asked for a paediatric doctor to make Minghao more comfortable. His first doctor seemed really creeped out by the situation and it was making Minghao uneasy. Dr Ahn volunteered, even when I told her he was a little, so I decided it would be better.”
Seungcheol patted Junhui’s back. “Great thinking. I think he’s a lot happier with a doctor that doesn’t call him Minghao or Mr Xu.”
The X-Ray was quick and easy with Dr Ahn guiding Minghao through it, and true to Dr Ahn’s words, Junhui presented Minghao with a new frog plushie when he came out.
Minghao was sent back to his room while Dr Ahn consulted an orthopedician to see if Minghao’s wrist was indeed broken or not.
Jeonghan had very quickly rushed to their dorm, which wasn’t far away, and grabbed some of Minghao’s littlespace things like a few plushies, a frog blanket and a frog pillow.
Minghao was still a little unsteady as he walked, occasionally swaying so much that Seungcheol rushed to grab him by the waist, worried he’d passed out. The concussion had definitely settled over him by the time his X-Ray was finished. He looked so pale and sleepy, merely seconds from fainting. He also seemed to have a problem with the lights squinting whenever he looked up at someone and screwed his eyes shut at loud noises.
Minghao smiled when he saw his blanket and pillow draped over the bed, running up to Jeonghan and hugging him. “Thank you, Hannie,” Minghao said, his voice small and cute as Jeonghan smiled and led Minghao to the bed, getting him settled down and pulling the blanket over him.
Until the doctor came back in, Minghao just babbled quietly in Mandarin, Junhui occasionally chuckling and ruffling his hair.
Dr Ahn came in a few minutes later, holding a plastic image of Minghao’s X-Ray. She used a light to show Seungcheol and Jeonghan the large fracture in Minghao’s wrist. Dr Ahn explained that his wrist would be in a cast for six to eight weeks, but he was lucky to be avoiding any surgery.
Minghao was soon taken to get the cast applied, and was more than happy to sit still for the people applying the casts, watching a movie on Junhui’s phone.
Seungcheol noticed Minghao was still flinching whenever the screen got too bright.
Junhui asked for a black cast for Minghao, choosing the neutral colour so that it wouldn’t frustrate Minghao whether he was in littlespace or not. It took a while to get the cast on, but once it was on, Minghao was sent back to his room and the three caregivers were warned not to let him sleep.
Dr Ahn was still afraid Minghao could slip into a coma if he fell asleep.
———————
Keeping Minghao up for more than three hours while he was in littlespace was an achievement on its own, not to mention six.
After two hours Minghao got bored of Thomas the Tank Engine, and an hour after that he could no longer stand Sofia the First. Seungcheol tried to teach him how to play Dots and Boxes, but as his right wrist was broken he was struggling to write.
It was a relief to all three caregivers when Minghao decided to come out of his littlespace with a frown. “I’m bored.”
Junhui shrugged. “We’re sorry, but entertaining a little isn’t easy. If you can think of anything to do, suggestions are welcome.”
Minghao sighed. “I don’t want to talk about my regression right now. Maybe when I’m not concussed.”
Seungcheol nodded, moving to sit on the edge of the bed. “I just want to say, we’re always here for you. The whole group is always here. Don’t be afraid to talk to us. If it’s not us you want to talk to then I’m sure another member will be happy for you to confide in them.”
Minghao smiled, looking at the cast. “I guess I’ll be missing promotions for a while. Catch me up on the details.”
Seungcheol ran through a quick explanation, giving Minghao recovery times and a brief bit about how to take care of his arm and head.
Minghao sighed at the end, squirming to get comfortable. “I hate this. My vision is all blurry.”
Junhui suddenly got up. “Dr Ahn said she wanted a neurologist to examine Minghao once he’s out of his littlespace. Just to make sure the concussion isn’t too bad.”
Minghao rolled his eyes, resting his head on the frog patterned pillow. “‘M so tired.” His voice sounded more slurred than it had before.
When the neurologist arrived, he conducted a few simple tests, shining a torch into Minghao’s eyes, which made Minghao flinch a lot, and asked him some simple questions like who the South Korean president was and where Minghao lived and checked a few of Minghao’s reflexes.
Minghao’s responses were slow and his voice still sounded very weak.
The doctor eventually diagnosed it as a Grade Three concussion and told them they hadn’t known about his losing consciousness because of the concussion as he had already passed out.
Minghao was told that he would have to stay in overnight for monitoring and that he needed a CT scan to check for any brain bleeds.
Seungcheol could see Minghao’s bottom lip quivering, the Chinese boy struggling to reign in his little side as his hands shook.
“I don’t like CTs. HaoHao doesn’t like CTs.” Minghao finally slipped into his littlespace again, tears slipping from his eyes and smudging his mascara even more.
Junhui used his sleeve to gently wipe the tears away. “I think, Hao really just wants to go to sleep. We’ve been awake for over twenty hours now and he really looks like he’s about to pass out.”
The neurologist shook his head. “He needs a CT, whether we need to sedate him or not. If his brain is bleeding we need to know so we can operate and prevent any further damage.”
Seungcheol rolled his eyes and sighed. “Sedate him and get him the CT.”
“Hyung,” Junhui said, sounding surprised. “He’s an adult. He gets to choose for himself.”
Seungcheol gestured to Minghao. “No, Junhui. He’s not an adult. Not like this. I want him to be safe and I want to stop him from getting hurt.”
Junhui sighed, looking down at the little who was shaking in his arms. “Fine. I’m sorry, HaoHao.”
The neurologist called for some sedatives, which were quickly brought along. Minghao thrashed and cried as two nurses pinned him to the bed and another stuck the needle into his arm, making him lose consciousness in mere seconds, eyes rolling back in his head as he fell limp against the bed.
Junhui closed his eyes and turned around to face the wall, his hand clamped over his mouth to try and stifle his sobs as Minghao was taken away to get his CT scan.
All three men knew that Minghao really needed the CT to tell them if he needed an operation, but watching him kicking and crying as the nurses sedated him made them feel terrible. Minghao used his headspace to be relaxed and free of any responsibilities, not so it was easier for the nurses to pin him down.
———————
Minghao was discharged the following morning just before midday.
He had come out of his littlespace when he woke up from the sedation, deciding to go to sleep once the neurologist told him he was in the clear for going to sleep.
In the morning, Minghao was very pissed at the fact that all three of his caregivers had stood by and watched three people pin him down while he was in littlespace and incapable of doing much himself. Once Seungcheol reminded him that there was a chance he could have had a brain bleed and died, Minghao stopped screaming at them and got out of the uncomfortable hospital gown he had been forced to wear and into the comfortable clothes Jeonghan had brought back from the dorm while Minghao was getting his X-Ray.
The drive back to the dorm was quiet, Minghao resting his head in Junhui’s lap, lying across the three back seats while Seungcheol drove and Jeonghan sat in the passenger seat.
Minghao was swaying between littlespace and his normal mentality, still exhausted from the day.
He was half asleep by the time they arrived, heavily leaning more towards his little side as Junhui picked him up bridal style and carried him up to their eighth-floor bedroom.
Junhui set him down on the bed, pulling the covers over him and throwing the frog blanket and a few plushies over Minghao. Once Minghao was cuddled up in one of Junhui’s hoodies, Junhui climbed into bed beside Minghao, wrapping his arms around Minghao’s waist.
“I love you, HaoHao. I love you so much. I’m sorry about today and I hope you don’t hold it against me.” Junhui whispered, playing a gentle kiss to Minghao’s neck.
Minghao wriggled around in Junhui’s arms until he could tuck his face into Junhui’s neck. “I love you too. Fwoggie forgives you…” Minghao mumbled, voice sleepy.
Junhui chuckled to himself, ruffling Minghao’s hair as the little started falling asleep.
“I love you,” Junhui whispered, the both of them closing their eyes and falling asleep with their legs entwined.