Chapter Text
Eddie had been acting weird all day. Quiet, withdrawn and he barely even laughed at Buck’s very funny fire-related puns during the last call out.
Finally, as they finished their shift and were getting changed to spoke to Buck, in a soft voice,
“My parents are coming to L.A.”
Buck froze, halfway putting on his hoodie.
“What?” came the muffled reply before he yanked the rest of the top over his head.
“What? When? Why?”
Eddie remained silent as if thinking the same questions.
“They want to see Chris…” there were clearly other reasons but he didn’t offer anything else and the frown appeared.
“Okay, do you need anything? I can take Chris and you can tell them they missed him and hopefully, they will leave sooner.”
That earned him a smile, a small one but Buck was willing to take the win. He knew how it felt to have your parent descend, unwanted but feeling the need to be a good son and indulge them over your own mental well-being. Thank God he went to therapy.
“When do they get here?” Buck asked.
“They arrive tomorrow afternoon, and they want to have dinner. You are invited.”
Buck gave a small smile back, of course Eddie would want him there to help take the heat off him and who was Buck to say no. Especially to the Diaz boys.
“Of course. You sure your parents won’t mind?” Eddie gave a strangled laugh.
“No man, they will be fine.” Buck was simultaneously confused and relieved until Eddie continued,
“They invited you.”
“What? Why?” at least this time it was only two questions that confused him. Eddie refused to look at him but replied slowly,
“They know we work together, and you help with Chris so they want to get to know you.” Again Buck got the feeling that Eddie wasn’t telling him everything but he let it go. Eddie was clearly going through a lot and Buck didn't want to make it worse. After confirming the time to arrive and double checking twice that Eddie was fine making the dinner, Buck gave him a light slap on the shoulder and told him he will see him tomorrow.
"Don't worry Eddie, it will be fine. We will get through it."
* * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * * *
Buck arrived earlier, hoping to give Eddie any pep talk he needed. Unfortunately, Helena and Ramon were also there, sitting in the living room with Chris. They eyed him up before their gaze landed on the key Buck had used to open the door and their faces frowned. When it was clear they were not going to make the first move, Buck squared his shoulders and did what he normally did when he came hom- to the Diaz home. He walked over to Chris and gave him a big hug that had Chris spinning around the living room. He sat him back down and ignored the horrified faces of Chris' grandparents.
"Er, hello. How was your flight?" Buck said politely.
"It was fine, thank you." replied Helena, making no indication she was going to ask him how he was doing.
"Er, I'll go and see if Eddie needs any help." and he walked off into the kitchen. He expected to see a mess and a frantic Eddie. Instead Eddie, was stirring the pot quietly, with a small frown on his face.
"How long have you been stirring that for?" Buck joked. Eddie jumped a little, obviously lost in thought and hadn't noticed Buck arriving.
"Well my parents have been here for an hour so about 58 minuets, although it was empty until 10 minuets ago." Buck laughed. He took his jacket off, rolled up his sleeves of his blue shirt and started helping chopping up the vegetables for dinner.
They worked in silence and all too soon, it was done and they called the rest of them into the dining room.
Dinner started awkwardly, the only noises were breathing and the clinking of cutlery against the plates.
Finally, Helena broke the silence,
“This is a lovely meal Edmundo.” the compliment was slightly strained but she was trying, Buck had to give her that and he broke into a big smile,
“Eddie has been practicing and he is amazing at this now. I think he is getting into the same league as Bobby, our captain. Bobby always makes these fantastic meals for us at the station that could give top chefs a run for their money.”
Eddie blushed slightly at the high praises, while his dad looked at him.
“You made this Edmundo?”
“Yes Sir, you saw me go into the kitchen.”
Silence came back to the table after that.
“So Buck…” Helena said. Buck paused with the fork halfway to his mouth, suddenly getting the feeling that this was not going to be fun. Ramon looked sharply at his wife as if to tell her to stop talking. She ignored him and continued.
“How long have you and Eddie .......known each other?” Buck breathed a sigh of relief and lowered his fork,
“About 4 years now, maybe a little longer.”
“And you are...partners? Is that the right term?” Buck frowned at the question and looked at Eddie who was pointedly not looking at him.
“Yeah, partners is correct and yes we are. I couldn’t ask for a better partner.” Now Buck was in his stride, he could talk about Eddie all day.
“He is incredibly brave, smart and loyal. Especially on call outs, I know I can always count on him and that he’s got my back. And as you can see an excellent cook, although that not as useful on the job, I certainly enjoy the perks outside.” he smiled at Eddie.
Eddie’s parents now had strange looks on their faces. His mother was equal parts proud and confused, while his dad was not looking at anyone, however, Buck could see that his hands were clenched.
Now Buck was pissed. Who were they to push their way into Eddie’s life and not appreciate him and all that he has done? How he has strived time and time again to be better for himself and for Chris.
Before Buck could say anything, Eddie spoke,
“Just leave it, please.” Buck couldn’t tell who Eddie was speaking to, his parents? Buck? Regardless, Buck nodded and started eating his dinner.
“And how does Chris feel about all this?” the question was asked as if Chris wasn’t in the room, who had looked up at the mention of his name. However, Helena was not looking to Chris for the answer but her eyes darted between Buck and Eddie.
Buck looked at Eddie who was staring at his mother. He looked… hurt? And angry. About time, thought Buck.
“Chris is fine with everything. He and Buck love each other and spend lots of time together.” Buck nodded agreeing with it, while Chris gave a smile at Buck,
“Yeah, we have got tickets to go the aquarium next week.” Chris piped up. Helena gave no notice that Chris had spoken and continued,
“And his friends? His school? They are all okay with you…. with….. Buck?” Again, the same feeling came to Buck, the one he had when Eddie first told him that his parents were coming. Like he was missing part of the conversation. Eddie lost whatever courage he had found. Buck, knowing Eddie was still doubting himself and his ability to provide the best for Chris, spoke up.
“Why wouldn’t they be okay with me? Sure it's a bit unconventional but they are all fine once they get to know us and the situation. No one has said otherwise. Chris is definitely not lacking from friends, hell he’s got more of a social life than me and Eddie together! And his school? His year group just came to the station for a tour and we have 3 more classes wanting to visit.”
Sure, they were questioned as to why Eddie’s best friend was the next of kin but everyone knew what happened to Shannon and understood the situation. Or at least Buck assumed they understood. He hadn’t lied, no one said anything about them. He was even a member of the PTA when his shifts allowed and he had been added to the parents' WhatsApp group (Eddie refused, stating he doesn’t understand it but really just didn’t want the drama, while Buck lived for the drama).
Did he get it wrong?
Eddie sensing Buck’s inner turmoil finally spoke.
“Buck is family, you know this. Everyone knows this and no one has any issues about this apart from you two.”
Eddie finished with a hard glare at his parent. Helena dropped her gaze while Ramon stared back.
“And your work is okay with…. all this?” he waved his hand at both Buck and Eddie.
Now Buck was confused, why would work have an issue with them being partners, hell Bobby was the one who suggested it. When he said that last bit out loud, Eddie’s parents couldn’t hide the shock.
Maybe it was because Eddie came back and bumped Lucy as Buck’s partner?
“There’s no favoritism, everyone knew that Eddie would come back to the station at some point and we would be teamed up again. Like you said, we are partners, that didn’t change just because Eddie wasn’t at the station.” He flashed Eddie a grin. Eddie, however, looked slightly pale.
Buck sighed, the stress of his parents being here, questioning his choices, his parenting skills obviously were not helping, no matter how much therapy he had been through. Buck hoped one day Eddie would get there and wished he could make it happen sooner than later.
However, he knew himself that this journey was long and slow and despite the love and support from friends and family, it was a solidarity walk.
Ramon cleared his throat, and wipe his lips with a napkin. He appeared now ready to speak.
"Edmundo, are you sure this is the right choice? You know how your mother and I feel about this and clearly this has been going on longer than what you have told us, but you have to consider Christopher in all this. You cannot be selfish as you usually are!"
Whoa, where had that come from? Buck was looking between Eddie and Ramon, utterly confused. He must have missed something that happened in Texas.
"Dad, don't start. I've said what I've said and you have to learn to deal with it." Ramon went red in the face at this, his wife placed a hand on his arm, trying to diffuse the situation but he was too far gone. He pulled himself to his full height and pointed a finger at Eddie.
" 'Deal'? You expect this to be a thing to 'deal' with? With everything we have done for this family, you are just going to through this all away for -"
"Enough!" Eddie banged a hand on the table, making everyone jump.
Buck has seen Eddie angry before, he's been on the receiving end of it during the lawsuit but this, this was different. This was a slow simmer that had reach to a boiling point for Eddie.
Dinner was officially over, even though most of the food was still on the plates.
Chris was the one to break the silence this time, quietly asking to be excused, and went to his room.
“Buck, could you please check on Chris for me.” Buck glanced up at Eddie, this wasn’t a question, and judging by Eddie's face, staring at his parent, there was no room for debating.
“Of course. Helena. Ramon.” he nodded at them both and left the table.
Chris’ room was one of Buck’s favorite places. Completely childish (although slowly becoming more pre-teen which tugged at Bucks’ heart in ways he couldn’t think about for too long) with toys, knick-knacks, books, and video games but more importantly photographs. It showed cased Chris’ life: His dad; his mom; his Abuela and Tia's; The 118; His friends from school; Birthdays; Christmases. But most importantly (and selfish he knows) Buck was there. Sometimes with Chris, sometimes with Chris and Eddie. But seeing himself on the wall, of being part of Chris’ happiness made Buck feel lighter than air some days.
It made him feel like family.
And he knows Eddie means it when he said that Buck is part of the family. And Buck knows more than anyone that family is what you make of it, which he has done. Bobby is his dad, and Athena is his mom. Hen is another big sister and Chimney is the older brother he should have had. He has so much family and love that he doesn’t know what to do with it sometimes.
But other times, quietly and not too often, he wishes that this was his family, the one he came home to after work and that they would always be there.
He wishes sometimes that Chris was his kid, that he had the title of Dad too (but never at the expense of the will coming true, that he never thought about). He thinks he would be a great dad, that his kid would never feel how his dad made him feel. Buck’s kid would be filled with love and laughter and life. They would never feel like a mistake. Ever.
Other wishes come when he starts going down that road, even less often and quieter… that Eddie… that he and Eddie… they could….
But no, that’s as far as he gets with that. He has what he needs right here. It is more than he ever thought he would have.
Chris is lying on his bed, reading. Buck grinned when he saw the Percy Jackson logo.
“Which one are you reading now?” He and Chris had finished the series months ago together, but Buck knew they were a comfort read to Chris now.
“Sea of Monsters”
“That one is the best!”
“You always say that about any of the books.”
“That’s cause they are all the best.” they shared a grin between them and the Buck sat down on the floor. His back to Chris' bed.
They couldn’t hear any shouting which is promising for now.
“Why are they always so mad?” Chris asked.
“I don’t know bud. I think sometimes, parents forget that their kids get older and they have to let go and not try and take over. I don’t think your grandparents have gotten the memo yet.”
“Does that mean I can stay up to 11 since I am getting older?” Chris snickered halfway through, knowing the answer.
Buck tilted his head back to look at Chris.
“Not a chance. The difference is you are still technically a kid.”
If he listened carefully, he could almost hear Eddie and his parent. He hoped that it wouldn’t get any louder.
It didn’t last long. 20 minuets later Eddie came knocking on Chris' door, his parent having left quickly and without a goodbye.
“Are they coming back?” Chris asked.
“Maybe tomorrow, they are here for a few more days and still want to see you if you want?”
Chris thought about this and then shrugged, going back to his book.
Eddie clearly wanted to talk to his son more but he was drained and left it. He motioned his head for Buck to follow him into the living room. Buck stood up and stretched, he ruffled Chris’ hair earning him a grumble, and followed Eddie out, closing the door behind him.
The lights in the living room were dimmed and Eddie was sitting on the couch. Buck sat on the other end of the couch, waiting for Eddie to talk.
“I’m sorry.” he started. Buck made to interrupt but Eddie held up a hand, cutting him off.
“Please just let me get through this.” He waited for Buck to nod before continuing.
“I didn’t tell you everything that happened when I went to Texas. You know we got into an argument, about everything. Me, Chris, work. They also brought you up. Thought you were too close to us and that it wasn’t appropriate.” Buck stayed silent but frowned. Why was it inappropriate?
“And I got so angry with them. They kept bringing up Ana and how I won't find a wife if I am always with you and how I am screwing up Chris.”
Buck clenched his hands. Again! Why can’t they just be proud of Eddie?
“I lied to them, Buck. I told a very big lie. I hoped that it would get them off my back and leave me alone. I should have known better but it just came out.”
Eddie still wasn’t looking at Buck, he was playing with some of the loose threads from the cover over the arm of the chair.
“I told them we were dating.”
For the third time, that night Buck froze. He understood the individual words Eddie said but he could not comprehend them in that order.
“I’m sorry Buck, but I thought that they would they would leave me alone for a bit while they try to sort out whatever they needed. I didn’t think they would come to L.A and I definitely didn’t think they would want to meet you. And I will tell them the truth, I can do it right now if you want, I just-”
“Oh my God!” Buck yelled his hands in his face. Eddie was looking pained and close to tears.
“Buck, I am so sorry, I didn’t -”
“Eddie, they asked if we were partners…” Buck lowered his hand, smiling, “and I said yes. Oh my God, the questions make so much more sense now.” he said with a laugh.
Eddie was sitting still, like a deer in the headlights, not knowing what to do.
Buck was chuckling to himself, the evening conversation replaying in his head.
“Oh, Chris’ school makes sense now and his friends. Although we are in L.A, a gay couple wouldn’t be that shocking.”
“So you aren’t mad with me?” Eddie looked wide-eyed at Buck. Buck gave him a soft smile.
“No Eddie, I get it. Although you should have told me, I could have really played it up.” he wiggled his eyebrows suggestively.
Eddie let out a slow breath and a small chuckle.
“I think you got it covered regardless of not knowing.”
They both shared a laugh and the atmosphere relaxed around them.
“What did they say before they left?" Eddie sighed but the tension didn’t return which Buck was grateful for.
“The usual, with a dash of homophobia of course. Although I think they were more annoyed cause the rest of my family like you.”
“They do?” Eddie gave him a deadpan look.
“You know Abuela loves you.” Buck ducked his head bashfully. He knows. Another found family member.
“Oh God,” he said suddenly.
Eddie nodded, “Yup, they were all there when I told them about us - I mean, when I lied...”
“Now it makes more sense why your Abuela has given me a copy of the family recipe book.”
“She gave you the a copy of the book?!” Eddie looked up sharply.
“Yeah, she said that she wanted it to be kept ‘in the family now' and that she didn’t trust you yet with it.” He replied with a smirk.
Eddie was too shocked to even pretend to be annoyed.
“She hasn’t even given it to to my sisters yet” he said quietly.
“Oh... I can give the book back to her?” Buck offered, although he was already mourning the loss of the book. Some of the recipes in there were so genius that he would hedge a bet Eddie had never heard of. Chris and Eddie had both been so receptive to his meals lately. But also, it was a family heirloom, granted given under false pretenses but one that allowed Buck to pretend again, this was his family.
Eddie made a non-committal noise, clearly lost in thought.
“It’s getting late, I’ll help you clean up and head off.” not home, here was home. If he allowed himself to think that.
“Buck, you don’t have to, I can clean it up.”
“Like I said before, we are partners right?” he stood up and offered Eddie a hand.
Eddie accepted and was pulled up. They stood close, not close enough to be touching but close enough that they could feel the warmth of each other. There was a beat when they just looked at each other and then it was gone and Buck made his way to the dining room to collect the plates.
“So…” Eddie began, but he appeared to have lost the rest of his sentence.
“So…?” Buck encouraged.
“My parents leave in a few days. If you said… I mean I know you said it was fine….but not that the whole situation is fine…. I mean…”
“Eddie,” he said softly trying to get him to focus.
“I’m sorry I said we were dating and putting you in this awkward position but if you are fine with it can we pretend a little more until they leave?” the whole thing was said quietly but quickly that Buck had to think about it first. Eddie seeing this began backtracking immediately.
“I’m sorry, I knew it was stupid I didn’t think..”
Buck went over to Eddie and stood in front of him, his hands going on top of Eddie's arms gripping him. Buck bent his head slightly, forcing Eddie to look at his eyes.
“Hey, stop. Stop apologizing. Look it is fine. I promise. When do they leave?”
“Friday.”
“Okay, so that’s two days. We can do that.” Eddie was still tense, Buck could feel it beneath his hands.
“You said it, we are family and families help each other.”
“Yeah, but even I know this is asking a lot.” Suddenly a thought popped into Buck's head so quickly he had to asked,
“Why did you say we were dating? Why not make up a woman or something?” If Buck thought Eddie was tense before, he was now ramrod straight and ducked his head to avoid Buck’s eyes.
“Okay, you don’t have to answer that. It’s fine.”
“I’m gay.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah, therapy is a good way to work out a lot of buried thoughts, not just gunshot trauma. Although Frank also called this trauma, from childhood. I told my parents when I was there when they were arguing about Ana. I told them and then they brought you up and asked if we were dating and I said yes. Since you are in our lives and Chris always talks about you to them on the phone. I think they…. not accepted, definitely not accepted… but it wasn’t a surprise to them. Which surprised me. Abuela, Adriana and Sophia - were happy, they said congratulations and then they defended me. The argument got worse and so I left.”
That…made a lot of sense to Buck. He knew Eddie had a hard childhood in terms of masculinity and how he was trying so hard to be more open for Chris. He remember when Eddie came back early. He looked haggard and just hugged Chris and insisted that Buck stay for dinner and a movie with them. Buck stayed for a few nights, worried that Eddie would go back off the deep end.
“They called me the other day and said they had booked to come and see Chris and they wanted to meet you. I thought maybe, they would sort of deal with it even if they didn’t agree.” he laughed bitterly and Buck could see tears in his eyes and the hurt forming on his face. He tugged on his arms and pulled Eddie into a hug without thought.
Eddie went willingly, wrapping his arms around Buck's waist, while one of Buck’s arms went around his should and the other hand went into his hair.
He loves Eddie. He knows this, even if he never gave himself permission to think it. But in this moment, he wanted Eddie to know it. Romantic or platonic, it didn’t matter, he just wanted Eddie to know he was loved for being himself.
“Thank you for telling me. I know that must have been a hard thing to sort out and then also telling your family. I’m proud of you. You are doing so well. For Chris and for yourself”
Eddie made a little noise in the back of this through that sounded like a sob and Buck held him tighter. They stood like that for a while, in the dining room, surrounded by plates of a failed dinner. Yet he had never felt more at peace.
When they finally broke apart Buck held up a hand,
“You do not get to say you are sorry. The ‘S’ word is now banned for the rest of the night.” Eddie smiled at him, although it wobbled a little bit.
“Thank you, Buck. For being there.” the smile Buck gave back was blinding.
“Anytime babe.” He turned and picked up the plates again and went into the kitchen.
He missed the sigh Eddie let out and the small whisper,
“What have I done?”