Work Text:
it's uncomfortable being a monster: love is like a bird ready to set off, flapping its wings at any sudden move. it watches me side-eyed when i lose balance on the sticky sand. the waves are pushing me left and right and i think maybe this is the time i'll fall and drown in another five centimeters of water. i think maybe if i was good i wouldn't break when the waves hit my skin and i wouldn't need to stay still and quiet in the storm for the bird to trust me. i think maybe if i was good i wouldn't be struggling in the sea in the first place, my feet stuck in the sand clinging to my skin. it never goes away - the feeling of wobbliness. unsteady mind on unsteady feet. i am trying hard i am trying to be well i am trying to be alive without coughing up water every now and then. i am trying to be good i am trying to be loved. but the sea is rising and i'm afraid the bird will leave when the tide comes. i'm not afraid of drowning but of being relieved when i do.