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Chan didn’t even make it off the last step before hands were clutching at his shirt, pulling him the last stumbling steps into the mass of bodies and limbs clinging to each other. As he readjusted his grip on whoever his arms had landed there was the visceral sensation of skin peeling away from skin, quickly drying sweat attempting to hold them together. But Chan didn’t care about that or the overwhelming scent of eight sweaty men pressed together, he only cared about holding his boys. Reassuring himself of their presence and them of his.
Staff moved around them, still bustling with post concert activities but no one attempted to move them. They’d have to move eventually but right now, in this moment, they needed each other more.
A hand passed over his head, scritching along his scalp and patting his hair. It may have been Seungmin or even Jeongin but it was hard to tell. They were all so close together, hands soothing over each other, shifting around to comfort everyone equally. He could hear sniffles and shaky breaths among the gentle murmur of praise and love.
In the center of their mass was Felix, hand clenched in Jisung’s shirt. At no point was there less than three hands somewhere on him, soothing down his back, patting his hair or wiping at his still dripping eyes. All of them taking turns to whisper reassurances in his ear, telling him how good he was and that they were with him.
Slowly but surely, Chan worked his way deeper into the mass, catching his hands on any body part he could reach. He whispered sweet praises to all of them as he passed. Eventually he managed to pry Felix off of Jisung, transferring his clutching hands to his own back. Chan wrapped one arm firmly around Felix’s waist, anchoring his hand on the jut of his hip. The other hand cupped the back of his head, holding him against his shoulder.
“Hey little one,” he murmured in English, lips brushing against the shell of Felix’s ear. “You did so good. I’m so proud of you. Love you, baby.”
Felix let out a loud sob and then nuzzled closer into Chan’s neck. Twisting slightly, Chan managed to plant a kiss on his slightly damp cheek.
“You worked so hard and it paid off. Stay loved the performances.” Chan told him. “I’m so proud of you. I love you so much.”
“I l-love y-you t-too,” Felix said between broken sobs, his chest heaving against Chan’s.
“Shhhh,” Chan shushed him, running a hand over the back of his head. “Don’t speak baby. It’s okay. I know you love all of us. So much love in your tiny body. So much it’s coming out of your eyes.”
They all stood there for a moment longer, the heat of their bodies building between them. Chan could feel himself starting to sweat again but he couldn’t bring himself to care. These were his boyfriends and they’d all just had quite an emotional moment. He would stand here and sweat in their embrace until he melted if that’s what it took for them to feel stable again.
But a moment later a hand gently landed on Chan’s head. “We gotta move.” Minho said in his ear. “We’re in the way. Just into the changing room. I’ll corral the rest of them, you take care of Felix.”
“Okay.” Chan nodded and then Minho’s hand was gone.
Slowly but surely the press of bodies loosened until they’d all shuffled off, clinging to each other. Once it was just the two of them, Chan placed another kiss to Felix’s temple.
“Okay, baby,” Chan said as he bent just a little, arms sliding down Felix’s back. “Up ya go.”
In one smooth movement, he hoisted Felix up off the ground, arms sliding under his butt. Automatically, Felix locked his ankles behind Chan’s back and his arms tightened around Chan’s shoulders. Chan hitched Felix’s thighs a little higher over his hips and then started towards the changing room. As he walked he could feel a wet spot growing on his t-shirt.
The make-up room was a flurry of activity and no sooner had Chan put Felix’s feet on the ground was someone calling his name. It only took him a moment to find their manager waving him over. His eyes darted around the room, hoping to find at least one of their boyfriends relatively unoccupied. With a furrowed brow, Changbin met his gaze as he glanced up from his phone. With a jerk of Chan’s head, Changbin quickly made his way over to him.
“Manager-nim needs me for something,” Chan explained once Changbin was in earshot. “Can you…”
Before he could finish his sentence, Changbin was wriggling an arm between Chan and Felix. “Come here baby. Let Binnie hold you while Chan does his leader stuff.”
“Thanks, Bin.” Chan quickly pressed a kiss to both of their cheeks before leaving them.
“It’s okay, baby,” Changbin said, patting Felix’s back as he sobbed softly against Changbin’s neck. “I’ve got you.”
Felix clenched his hands tightly into the fabric of Changbin’s t-shirt, breath coming his labored, uneven gasped.
“East, easy,” Changbin coached him. “Slow breaths. In and out. In and out. In and out. There you go, love.”
Slowly, Felix regained control over his breathing, though his tears still flowed against Changbin’s neck. Staff members filtered past them, rushing from one duty to another, some holding costume pieces, others with sound equipment. Changbin paid them no mind, the only thing that mattered in this moment was reassuring the man he held in his arms.
“Hyung’s got you, baby,” Changbin told him softly, voice rumbling in his chest. “Hyung, will protect you.”
“I can’t live without hyung,” Felix told him, voice still thick with tears.
“Cute,” Changbin cooed, rubbing a hand in slow circles on Felix’s back.
With his other hand, he managed to open his camera app to the video option and angle his phone to capture Felix cuddled against his neck.
As he pressed record he said “Say that again.”
Felix gave a small sniff. “I can’t live without hyung.”
Before Changbin could end the recording, Felix twisted to see what was going on. The camera captured his tear stained, slightly swollen face just as the video ended. Hurriedly, Changbin shoved his phone in his back pocket, he’d send the video to Stay later. Right now he needed to focus his attention on his still crying boyfriend in his arms.
“Love you so so much, Lixie.” Changbin kept rubbing small circles into Felix’s back. “Such a good boy.”
They stood there for a while, Felix weeping softly and Changbin rocking them back and forth. He kept up a never ending stream of praises and reminders of love as he tried to calm Felix.
“Do you want to sit down?” Changbin asked softly.
“Want hyung,” Was Felix’s tearful reply, fingers clutching tighter to Changbin’s shirt.
“Cute,” Changbin cooed with a small smile, squeezing Felix a little tighter. “Hyung will sit down with you. Okay, baby?”
Felix nodded, face still buried in Changbin’s neck. With a huffed laugh, Changbin started working them towards one of the couches. They only made it a few steps before Seungmin’s voice behind him caused him to stop.
“Hyung, noona says you need to get changed.”
Changbin glanced over his shoulder to find Seungmin and Jeongin standing there, looking about as emotionally stable as he felt. Both of them were bare faced, eyes red rimmed and puffy. Jeongin’s hands were trembling slightly, the bundle of tissues he was holding shaking like autumn leaves. Seungmin was in danger of putting his fingers through the water bottle he was holding it so tightly. They were both already changed out of their concert wear and into sweatpants and oversized sweatshirts.
“We’ll take care of him,” Jeongin said, reaching out towards Felix.
Changbin frowned but reluctantly released Felix into Jeongin’s arms. He felt a little bad leaving their real baby to take care of their actual baby but Felix had stopped sobbing for the most part and looked adorable cuddled up against Jeongin. In rapid succession, Changbin pressed a kiss to each of their temples, wishing that he could kiss them for real but there were too many people around for that.
“Make sure he drinks that,” Changbin said, pointing at the water bottle in Seungmin’s hands as he walked away.
“I will,” Seungmin said seriously, already moving to close the space between him and the other two. “Hey, Lixie, let’s go sit down.”
For a moment, it looked like Felix wasn’t going to answer, content to stand there in Jeongin’s arms, Seungmin petting his hair gently. Eventually though, he pulled his head out of Jeongin’s chest.
“Minnie come too?” He asked.
“So cute.” Jeongin smiled gently at him.
Seungmin huffed a soft laugh. “Yes, baby. I’m coming too. You can even sit in my lap if you promise to drink some water.”
That got a watery smile from Felix, which Seungmin took as the best response he was probably going to get at the moment. As Seungmin moved away from them and towards the couch, he kept his hand on Felix’s back until the last possible moment. They weren’t separated for long though, the moment Seungmin was settled on the couch, he had a lap full of Felix. It took a moment of squirming for him to get comfortable but he eventually settled with his back to Seungmin’s chest. Seungmin held him in place with one arm wrapped around his waist while Jeongin took a moment to dry Felix’s face.
“Here,” Jeongin held a clean tissue out to Felix after he’d done what he could. “Blow your nose.”
Felix accepted the tissue and did as he was instructed. Gingerly, Jeongin used another tissue to take it from him once he was done.
“Gotta drink some water now.” Seungmin held the bottle in Felix’s line of sight.
Felix pouted at it.
“Come on, baby.” Jeongin took the water from Seungmin and uncapped it. “We barely drank anything for the last few days so we could show off for Stay and now you’ve probably cried away any water you hadn’t already sweat out. You don’t want to get a headache, do you?”
With a small harumph, Felix took the bottle and pressed it to his lips. Seungmin was sure he’d intended to only take a small sip but as soon as the water passed his lips he started taking large gulps.
“Good boy,” Jeongin praised him softly.
“Okay, okay,” Seungmin said after Felix showed no sign of stopping, gently tugging on his elbow. “Slow down before you make yourself sick. No one’s gonna take it from you.”
With a gasp, Felix pulled the bottle away from his mouth and sagged against Seungmin. Jeongin took the opportunity to lean in and place a kiss on Felix’s forehead.
Jeongin pulled back just enough to look Felix in the eye, cupping both of his cheeks between his hands. “Love you so much, Lixie. I love that you’re in our lives and that we get to live out our dreams together.”
“Love you too, Innie,” Felix said thickly, fresh tears gathering at the corners of his eyes.
“You did so good,” Seungmin told him, nuzzling into Felix’s hair a little. “I love you, baby.”
“You did good too, Minnie,” Felix told him, squeezing the arm around his waist.
“Thank you,” Seungmin whispered into his hair, feeling on the edge of crying again.
“Manager-nim’s ready to send the first car load back,” Minho said, appearing behind Jeongin from out of the bustle of people moving around the dressing room. “You two should go get in the car.”
“But-” Jeongin started to protest.
“Only you two and Changbin are ready,” Minho cut him off, not unkindly. “We’ll get Lixie changed.”
Minho gestured at himself and Hyunjin who was standing behind him. Seungmin pouted up at him.
“You two are changed as well. Why can’t you head back?”
Minho narrowed his eyes, unhappy with being called out. Before he could say anything, Hyunjin spoke up.
“Please let us take care of Lixie?”
Before either of them could protest again, Minho continued. “After you shower and I want one of you two to get dinner ready and the other to start gathering all the blankets and pillows from both apartments. Have Binnie help一 with the blankets not dinner. Even he could mess up reheating stir-fry and making rice.”
“What should we do with the blankets?” Jeongin asked, cocking his head to one side.
“Make a bed in our apartment’s living room,” Minho answered. “I have a feeling we’re all gonna want to sleep in one place tonight.”
“Dinner’s what you were making this morning, right?” Seungmin asked.
“Yeah, it’s in the blue tupperware in the fridge.” Minho nodded. “Just throw it in a pan and stir it occasionally until it starts bubbling.”
“Okay,” Seungmin responded, letting Minho lift Felix out of his lap.
“Does dinner and a movie with all of us sound good, baby?” Minho asked Felix.
“Can we watch a Disney movie?” Felix asked.
Hyunjin giggled and reached over to ruffle Felix’s hair. “We can watch whatever you want.”
“But first you need to change,” Minho told him, turning him in the direction of the dressing rooms.
“We’ll see you at home,” Seungmin said as they parted.
“We won’t be much behind you,” Minho said over his shoulder as he led Felix across the room.
“Sit here, baby,” Minho told him, guiding him into a make-up chair.
Hyunjin grabbed a pack of make-up wipes off the counter. “Let’s clean up a little.”
Felix closed his eyes and allowed Hyunjin to gently wipe the remnants of his stage make-up off.
“Such a pretty boy,” Hyunjin whispered as he worked. “Love your freckles. Love your cute little nose. Love your pretty lips. Love your gorgeous eyes.”
“You’re gonna make him cry again,” Minho admonished playfully.
“I can’t help it,” Hyunjin responded, sparing Minho a quick glance. “I love everything about our little Lixie.”
A fond smile played on Minho’s lips. “I do too.”
“There,” Hyujin playfully tapped the tip of Felix’s nose as he pulled back, earning himself a giggle. “All done. Just need to take out your contacts.”
Minho slid a contact container closer to him as Felix spun around to face the mirror. Quickly he pulled the blue colored contacts out and put them in the solution.
“Come here, baby,” Minho said, opening his arms once Felix was done.
In a rush of motion Felix pushed himself out of the chair and into Minho’s arms. With a gentle smile, Minho cupped the back of Felix’s head with one hand and used the other arm to hold him close to his body. Hyunjin wrapped himself around Felix’s back, squeezing both of them as best as he could. For a long moment they just stood there, basking in each other’s presence.
“Love you,” Minho whispered against Felix’s neck. “Both of you. I’m so lucky to have you.”
Felix sniffled, shaking his head slightly. “We’re lucky.”
“Can’t we all be lucky?” Hyunjin asked.
Minho hummed. “I guess we are.”
Before Minho could bring himself to let go of Felix, he heard a small gurgling noise followed by a giggle from Felix.
“Was that your stomach?” Minho asked, trying and failing to pull Felix far enough back to look him in the eye.
“All done crying and now you’re hungry?” Hyunjin asked with a laugh.
“Come on, baby,” Minho said, attempting to loosen Hyunjin’s grasp on them. “The faster you get changed the faster we can get you home and fed.”
“And showered,” Hyunjin added as he pulled back. “You stinky.”
“You’re no better,” Felix threw back good naturedly as he separated from Minho. “You sweat as much as three of us combined.”
“Okay, okay, children,” Minho chastised lightly. “No fighting.”
Felix giggled as he collected his bag and headed into the changing room. A few minutes later he emerged, dressed in a loose pair of pants and sweatshirt that looked suspiciously big on him, concert clothes bundled in his hands. Minho waited until after Felix was done handing off his clothes to one of the stylists before he caught his wrist and pulled him close again.
“Lixie,” Minho trilled, plucking one arm of the sweatshirt. “This looks a little big on you. It wouldn’t happen to be Chanie’s would it?”
A pretty, faint blush dusted Felix’s cheeks as he glanced down at himself. “Maybe.”
“Did you ask Chanie if you could borrow his sweatshirt?” Minho teased lightly, pulling a bashful smile out of Felix.
“He doesn’t mind when we borrow his clothes,” Felix defended his actions.
Hyunjin snorted. “‘Doesn’t mind’ is an understatement. He’d dress us all in his clothes all the time if he could.”
“Yeah.” Felix agreed, just as Jisung bounded up to them.
“Second car’s ready and Chan said we should all head home,” He told them after he’d come to a stop.
“What about Channie?” Felix asked, looking worried.
“He’s already on his way out to the car,” Jisung said with a smile. “Said all he wants to do tonight is eat dinner and cuddle.”
“Well he’s in luck,” Minho said, nudging Felix to start moving. “I told Seungmin to start warming up dinner and for Jeongin to set up a nice place for us to all cuddle.”
“Sungie.” Felix made grabby hands in Jisung’s direction and that seemed to be all Jisung needed to understand what Felix wanted from him.
He flipped his bag to his other shoulder and held his arm up. Felix wasted no time ducking underneath and plastering himself to Jisung’s side, one arm firmly wrapped around Jisung’s waist.
“Hey, Lix,” Jisung greeted him, before steering them towards the door. “You feeling better?
“A little.” Felix nodded. “Minnie and Innie made me drink some water and then Jinnie wiped my make-up off.”
“Well that’s good.” Jisung gave him a fond smile. “I’m sure a shower and some food will help as well.”
Felix nodded as Jisung manuverd them through the door and into the hallway. “Plus Min said we could watch whatever Disney movie I wanted. All of us together.”
“You sure you don’t want to watch a Studio Ghibli one?” Jisung teased.
Felix shook his head, pouting slightly. “Disney.”
“I suppose I can let you have your way tonight.” Jisung pretended to be reluctant in his acquisition of Felix’s demand.
Felix giggled and pressed himself as close as he could to Jisung while walking through the corridors. “Thanks.”
They walked the rest of the way to the car like that, Felix clinging to Jisung and Jisung holding him there. No one spared them a second glance. Chan was already settled into one of the seats in the second row by the time they made it to the car. He gave the two of them a fond smile as Felix and Jisung squeezed past him and into the back row, Felix in the middle seat. Hyunjin squished himself into the third seat. As soon as they were buckled, Jisung slung an arm around Felix’s shoulder and pulled him into his side. With a small, pleased smile, Felix rested his head on Jisung’s shoulder.
“Love you,” Jisung whispered into Felix’s hair before pressing a quick kiss to the crown of his head.
Felix made a happy little noise. “Love you too.”
They stayed cuddled up for the length of the ride home. Every once in a while Jisung would whisper something in Felix’s ear, soft enough for only him to hear and in response, Felix would smile and nuzzle against him. When the car stopped, Jisung waited for everyone else to exit before nudging the dozing Felix.
“Come on, baby.” He tried to push Felix into a sitting position. “Let’s go inside.”
“Comfy,” Felix whined playfully, refusing to be moved.
“I know you’re lying, babe,” Jisung told him with a smile. “No one is comfortable in the backseat of a van. We can cuddle all you want inside.”
“Promise?” Felix asked, picking his head up a little.
“Yes.” Jisung nodded. “But you need to shower and eat first.”
“Fine.” Felix gathered up his bag and slid out of the car.
As soon as Jisung was free of the vehicle, he found himself with an armful of Felix again.
“Cute,” Hyunjin cooed with a giggle.
Jisung glanced up to find Chan and Minho watching them with a fond smile. Minho chuckled as Jisung attempted to wrangle Felix into a position that allowed him to walk.
“Felix,” Chan said, after watching Jisung struggle for a moment. “The faster we get inside, the faster we can all snuggle you.”
With a wordless grumble, Felix allowed himself to be maneuvered against Jisung’s side. They made short work of getting to their apartments despite Felix’s reluctance to be separated from Jisung. Only once they had reached the door to his and Minho’s apartment did they manage to convince him to separate and only after Chan, Hyunjin and Jisung all promised to come over as soon as they’d all finished showering.
Inside the apartment they found a flurry of activity, Seungmin skidded down the hallway and into the kitchen and Jeongin and Changbin could be heard arguing lightly in the living room.
“Bin, I love you but I swear to god if you put one more plushie in this bed I will kick you to the moon,” Jeongin’s voice carried around the wall separating the entryway from the living room.
“But Lexie likes them,” Was Changbin’s whiny response.
“And he also likes being snuggled by us,” Jeongin retorted. “Which we won’t be able to do with all of these in here with us.”
Minho chuckled and nudged Felix further into the apartment once he had his shoes off. “Go shower, I’ll check on them.”
Felix nodded and did as he was told. As he passed the living room he glanced in but could see much more than Jeongin’s standing with his hands on his hips staring down Changbin who was clutching an armful of stuffed animals off of Felix’s bed. Seungmin gave him a cheery wave with a pair of tongs as he passed by the kitchen which he returned. He took the fastest shower he could, finishing it by rushing through his skincare routine.
When he exited in a cloud of steam, towel wrapped around his waist, Minho was just stepping out of his room. He gave Felix a look up and down that put a small blush on Felix’s cheeks. As he tried to squeeze by Minho to get to his room, he felt a firm hand come down on his ass. His squeak of protest went ignored as Minho shut the bathroom door.
“Seungmin says the food’s hot. Go get some after you get dressed,” Minho yelled through the door at him.
Quickly, Felix pulled on his softest pajamas, tossing the towel over the back of his desk chair to be felt with later. He padded down the hallway and into the kitchen to find Seungmin dishing out portions of stir fry and rice. Ignoring the food, he latched onto Seungmin’s back, resting his cheek between his shoulder blades.
“Hey baby,” Seungmin said. “Ready to eat?”
“Did the others come over yet?” Felix asked ignoring the question.
“I think I heard Jisung but I think Hyunjin and Chan are still showering,” Seungmin said, portioning out the rest of the food. “Why don’t you take a bowl and go see?”
Felix nodded against Seungmin but made no motion to leave.
Seungmin gave a soft laugh. “You have to let go in order to eat, Lixie.”
Felix hummed. “But you’re warm.”
“Thanks cutie,” The smile was evident in Seungmin’s voice as he put down the pan. “Come on now.”
Felix allowed his arms to be loosened from around Seungmin’s waist. Seungmin turned around and placed a kiss on his forehead before placing another on his lips.
“Gotta eat, baby,” Seungmin said as he pulled back. “Then you can have all the snuggles you want.”
“Okay,” Felix gave him a small pout as he stepped back to grab a bowl.
“Let the others know they can come grab food,” Seungmin told him as Felix turned to leave.
“Okay,” Felix tossed over his shoulder.
In the living room he found Jeongin, Changbin and Hyunjin putting the finishing touches on what could only be described as a ginormous nest. All of the furniture had been pushed flat against the wall and a thick layer of blankets lined the floor. Pillows lined the outside with a few thrown into the middle slightly haphazardly. Among what appeared to be literally every cushion, pillow and blanket they had in both apartments, was a large quantity of plushies. At the sound of Felix entering the room, all three of them looked up at him.
“Come here, baby.” Changbin beckoned him with a soft smile, dimple visible. “Make yourself comfy.”
Carefully, Felix picked his way through the blankets and pillows to where Changbin had been smoothing out some bumps in the center of the mass. “Seungmin says dinner’s ready.”
“Oh good,” Jisung chirped, happily jumping to his feet.
Jeongin shook his head as Jisung scurried out of the room. Felix giggled as he settled down next to Changbin, pressing his thigh against Changbin’s.
“Kiss, kiss?” Changbin asked cutely, puckering his lips in Felix’s direction.
With an indulgent smile, Felix leaned over his bowl and placed a quick kiss on Changbin’s lips.
“No fair,” Jeongin whined, pouting at them from the other side of the room. “I want a kiss.”
“Well come here if you want one then.” Felix flashed him a grin as he pulled back from Changbin.
With as much dignity as he could muster, Jeongin crawled across the bedding towards them. When he was in front of Felix he raised his head, inviting Felix to kiss him. Felix happily acquiesced, leaning forward and placing a soft kiss on his lips. Jeongin pulled back with a small smile dancing on his lips.
“You two need to eat, too.” Felix raised his bowl to emphasize his point. “Go get food.”
Before either of them could answer, the sound of the door opening stole their attention.
“Come get food before it gets cold,” Seungmin yelled from the kitchen.
“We’ll be right there,” Chan yelled back.
“Go get food,” Felix urged again.
“Only if you pick out something to watch,” Changbin responded, flipping the remote into Felix’s lap.
“I can do that,” Felix agreed with a smile as he plucked the remote from the fold of his lap.
“Good boy.” Changbin ruffled his hair as he stood up.
By the time Felix had navigated through the Disney+ menus and found the movie he wanted, all of his boyfriends were settled into the blanket nest with him. Chan dimmed the lights and was the last to take his place, pressed against Minho leaning against the couch. Changbin and Jisung had each claimed one side of Felix. Hunjin had pouted at first but then declared he got to lay in Felix’s lap when they were done eating. A demand that Felix had happily agreed to.
As the opening notes played, Felix felt a warmth flood his chest. This was where he belonged, happy and warm surrounded by his boyfriends.