Chapter Text
The first time Alex forgot about their very first in public date, his brain was being melted by the Lockhart machine, so Michael didn’t think much of it. Then the second time it happened, when Alex claimed he wasn’t feeling well, Michael took it at face value. But now that it was happening for a third time…
Michael looked down at his grease-blackened hands, at the frayed cuffs on his stained shirt, at the holes in his jeans, and he started to wonder if maybe there was a different reason that Alex had always wanted to keep their relationship a secret. If he was ashamed to be seen in public with Michael. He certainly hadn’t been ashamed to be seen with Forrest, so it wasn’t just fear of the whole town seeing him with another man and knowing once and for all that he was gay. It wasn’t a leftover of the shame Jesse Manes had tried so hard to beat into his son just for being who he was.
Michael has been trying to be a better person, has been working on being worthy of being with someone like Alex. Drinking less. Being there for his friends. Communicating what he was feeling and thinking rather than hiding behind sarcasm and a joke. He thought he had been making good progress towards deserving Alex, but maybe all of that wasn’t enough.
He didn’t have much money, especially now that he’d stopped selling Sanders’s copper wire for extra cash, and the money he had tended to go towards his research and supplies for his console. But maybe he needed to make some changes there as well. Buy some new clothes that aren’t stained and threadbare. Something that doesn’t look like he’s still homeless.
When Alex showed up two hours after their date was supposed to start, he was full of apologies. Apologies that echoed the numerous texts he’d already sent on his way home.
“I’m so sorry, Guerin. I got stuck in a locked door meeting at Deep Sky and couldn’t get out of it. And they’d blocked all signals for security so I couldn’t even text you to let you know until I was out of there.”
Michael nodded, told him it was okay, he understood. But when Alex suggested that it wasn’t too late to still go out on their date, he felt something twist deep inside. Now that it was ten o’clock at night, when no one would be at the town restaurants and the streets would be dead, Alex was ready to be seen with him.
“Sorry, I ate already,” he lied. Even as he spoke the lie, he felt guilty for it. He knew that lying to Alex now went against the unspoken pact they’d made to do this right this time and communicate openly and without deception. But he wasn’t ready to air out these feelings. Wasn’t ready to confront the fact that Alex might be ashamed of him.
Alex deflated a little at that. “I’m so sorry, Guerin. I was sitting there in that meeting just watching the clock, knowing you were waiting for me. Knowing I was missing our first date all over again. It killed me.”
And Michael couldn’t resist the look on Alex’s face. So he let go of his hurt enough to pull Alex into his arms. They weren’t in public now, and their relationship really has been going well in private this time. He’d just have to make it easier for Alex to want to be seen in public with him.
“We will plan another date. Come on, I’ll get you some food,” he said, pressing a kiss to Alex’s lips. Then he pulled him into the Airstream and started opening cabinets while Alex filled him in on every word that had been spoken in the “top secret” meeting. Michael did his best to focus on what Alex was saying, on not letting his residual hurt appear on his face. On just being happy to be there with him.
The next day, Michael told Sanders he needed the day off and sent Isobel a text that he needed her help. She was only too happy to meet him for a day of shopping. But when she first saw him, she squinted at him, clearly reading his aura or whatever it was she did now, and he realized that perhaps his empath of a sister was the last person he should have called.
“I don’t want to talk about it,” he said before she could even open her mouth.
She sent the message telepathically instead. ‘You’re one giant mass of hurt and shame, and you want me to just ignore that?’
‘Yes,’ he replied firmly, and did his best to block her out of his head. It turned out to be harder to block out his sister than his evil dictator of a father. He somehow wasn’t entirely surprised by that.
‘Do I need to have a talk with Alex Manes? Let him know exactly what happens to people who hurt you? Remind him I can get in his head and convince him to walk into traffic?’
“Don’t you dare even joke about something like that,” he growled out loud. “You ever harm one hair on Alex’s head, and I won’t be responsible for my actions.”
‘Relax, brother. I’m not going to hurt your boyfriend. But that doesn’t change the fact that he hurt you. And I want to know how.’
‘As I said before, I don’t want to talk about it.’ “Can we just get this over with?” he asked, waving at the mall in front of them.
Isobel looked between him and the mall, letting her gaze stop at the stains on his shirt and the hole in the collar before landing on his face and he was pretty sure she figured out exactly what this sudden shopping trip was about. Her jaw tightened with anger in a way it only did when he or Max was hurt. Then she sighed, grabbed his arm, and dragged him into the mall.
Three hours later, he had five times as many clothes as he’d ever owned in his life, and they were all brand new. Isobel had paid for most of them, and Michael knew it was going to take him forever to pay her back, but he would do it if it killed him. He finally had a wardrobe that didn’t make him look homeless, clothes that he knew he looked good in. If he took care when washing up to make sure to get all the grease off, he was confident he could pull himself together enough to not be an embarrassment to Alex the next time they tried to have a real date.
That night, when Alex showed up at his trailer, Michael let him in without thinking first about all the bags of clothes sitting in the corner.
“What’s all that?” Alex asked.
Michael felt his cheeks heat in embarrassment and said, “Nothing,” as he quickly grabbed his hat and gestured for Alex that he was ready to leave.
“Did Isobel do a bunch of shopping and leave all her bags here?” Alex asked, not letting go of the question as Michael hoped he would.
Michael knew that if Alex stayed in the trailer any longer, he would notice they were mostly men’s stores, so he pressed his hand firmly into the small of Alex’s back and led him out of the trailer before saying, “Yes. Isobel did a bunch of shopping today,” which, in his defense, was entirely true. “Do you know why Max and Liz called this meeting tonight?” he asked in an attempt to deflect Alex’s attention away from the bags of clothes.
Alex looked at him oddly. “How would I know? He’s your brother.”
“She’s your friend,” he retorted with a grin.
“Well, I guess we’ll have to find out when we get there,” Alex said. “I really hope it’s not another life or death alien emergency. I want to reschedule our date, and Guerin, I promise, not even a homicidal alien would keep me from showing up this next time.”
Michael nodded, but he still had his doubts. Alex still had no idea that Michael had put effort into being more presentable. He was still in his ratty old clothes, still had a little grease under his fingernails. He hadn’t seen much point in making the effort for whatever it was his brother had called them all together for. He grimaced now though as he realized that Alex would never know that he could be proud to be seen with Michael if he didn’t make the effort all the time. It couldn’t be just for their actual date nights.
“Hey, what’s that face about?” Alex asked, putting a hand on Michael’s arm to stop him before he could climb into the car. “I know I’ve made the promise before…” Alex let his voice trail off and Michael felt a twinge of guilt at the look on his face.
“I wasn’t grimacing about that. I want to go on our first real date soon too. But as you said, perhaps we shouldn’t schedule it just yet, at least until we’re sure the world isn’t ending, again,” Michael said, trying to get Alex to smile. It worked, but the smile didn’t quite meet his eyes. He had that adorable little furrow in his brow, and Michael could tell that Alex knew something was off with him.
“Let’s go,” he said, with a squeeze to Alex’s hand where it still rested on his arm. “Maybe it’ll be good news. Maybe he and Liz are engaged or something, and we’re celebrating, not planning how to avert armageddon.”
Alex nodded and made his way around to the other side of the car. “Do you think they might actually be engaged?”
Michael stopped for a minute to think about it. He’d thrown out the idea randomly as a way to move the focus away from discussion of their date, but now that he thought about it, it was entirely possible it was true. His brother and Liz had seemed to finally get past all their issues and had been happy together ever since Max had killed Jones.
“Huh, maybe they are,” he said with a smile, but then his smile faded as he realized he really should have put the effort in on his appearance tonight if this was some sort of impromptu engagement party.