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“Did you know Wee John Feeney’s a registered minister?” Black Pete asks as they lay tangled together and sated together on the deck of the Revenge.
“Can’t say I did babe.” Lucius curls into his chest.
“Yeah.” Black Pete smiles nervously, tracing the constellations Lucius taught him during their early nights spent sleeping under the stars. “He did weddings over on Saint Kitts for a bit.”
“That’s nice.” His boyfriend hums contentedly.
“Hey, babe? I was wondering…It’s kinda stupid but,” he takes a deep breath, “Is marriage something you’d be into?
Lucius doesn’t reply.
“Lucius?” Pete taps his shoulder, heart in his throat.
For a man who’s been living in the walls surviving on Fang’s smuggled scraps for the past few months, his boyfriend has excellent stamina. But right now he’s sound asleep, drooling into Black Pete’s shirt. And as he begins to snore, something he never thought he could find charming, Pete kisses his forehead and decides his next proposal is going to be so
spectacular, that neither of them will sleep for a week.
“Oh Pete, that's wonderful!” Stede claps his hands together, ecstatic. “The Revenge’s first wedding! Are you hearing this, my dear?”
“Right on.” Blackbeard peeks his head out from the auxiliary wardrobe he’s been reorganizing since Pete came in. “Happy for you guys.”
“He hasn’t said yes yet.” Pete shuffles his feet, cutting off Stede’s musing about cake flavors and possible locations. “Fell asleep last time I tried to ask.”
Don’t worry man, he will.” Ed waves him off.
“Lucius is quite taken with you,” Stede adds.
It’s been about six months since the tear-filled reunion of their two captains, which Pete had interrupted by punching Blackbeard square in the face, sending him flying overboard.
It was pretty light punishment for the attempted murder of the love of his life but, since Lucius had filled him on the particulars of Ed’s post-breakup blues, Pete had been willing to forgive and forget. The man hadn’t been in his right mind, and he felt terrible about it.
His boyfriend had spent the entire first month slacking off on chores and sunbathing on deck, eating more of Roach’s fruit tarts than should have been possible for a man of his stature while Ed waited on him hand and foot. He’d tired of the pampering after a while, telling Pete that having to look into Blackbeard’s guilt-ridden puppy dog eyes took all the fun out of it.
“Anyways I was wondering if you had a ring or something?” Pete smiles sheepishly.
“Hold on a tick.” Stede rifles through his desk drawer. “I know I’ve got it here somewhere.” Eventually, he emerges triumphant, a thin gold band clutched in his hand. “Here we are! I was saving it just in case we needed something to pawn later. But it should represent an actual love. A marriage freely chose.” He grins. “My wife would like that I think.”
The reminder that Stede had been married to a woman is just as shocking as ever. Most of the crew had assumed their captain was partial to men from the first time he’d gathered them together on the deck, babbling excitedly about weekly wages and therapy animals, his white lace shirtsleeves flying.
“Thank you so much, captain.” Pete cradles the ring in his hand, tracing the delicately engraved leaves. “This will work for me. But Lucius needs something a little shinier. Like a gemstone”
“I’m afraid I don’t have anything like that.” Stede frowns.
“I know where we can get one,” Jim interjects from where they’ve been stretched out, previously unnoticed, on the captain’s cabin’s chaise longue. “Have we got time for a detour?”
“Come on Jackie.” Jim smiles coyly. “It’s not like they’re using them.” If Pete didn’t know better, he’d think they were flirting. It’s an impressive turnaround considering Jim had smoked two of her husbands, but he’s seen stranger things on the high seas.
“Mmm. I guess you’re right.” Spanish Jackie strokes Jim’s hair as she considers. Pete takes another sip of his drink, praying it isn’t runoff from the new nosejar she’d proudly displayed when they’d first come in. “Husbands are dropping like flies lately. Lost three last week to dysentery,” she shivers. “Nasty business.”
“You should take better care of your husbands.” Jim teases. “What if they unionize?”
“Men aren’t very hardy creatures. Maybe I need to diversify my dating pool a bit.” Jackie shrugs, looking pointedly at Jim.
“Let me know if you do.” they wink.
“You sweet-talker.” She places a hand on their shoulder and stands. “Fine. Follow me.”
After a quick threat to the husband working the bar, Jackie leads them into her private chambers. Jim gives the stink eye to the desiccated corpse of Alfeo De Vaca before following him into Jackie’s bedroom, where a trunk rests beside the biggest four-poster bed Pete’s ever seen.
“My favorites sleep up here,” Jackie explains. “The ones in the doghouse sleep on the floor.”
“Pete get over here,” Jim calls crouched beside the trunk which they’ve opened to reveal what must be hundreds of engagement rings.
“Whoa,” Pete whispers.
“Go ahead and take a look. Jim, you too. Take it if one catches your fancy, just make sure you’re ready to plan two weddings.
Pete has never seen Jim blush before. It’s quite the experience.
The rest of the crew was at the dockside theatre. Pete had figured that allowing Lucius to show Stede his first drag show would keep him occupied for a while, and he’d been right. He hadn’t anticipated Izzy’s interest though, but again, he’d seen stranger things.
They help him separate the top choices from the pile, laughing at the intense expression on his face as he studies each closely. He finally decides on a round ruby set in gold, because he thinks it’ll match his boyfriend’s favorite red vest, and Lucius delights in being fashion-forward.
Jim leaves ringless, although Lucius notices they’d been eyeing a brilliantly cut obsidian.
He proposes a few days later, as they watch the sunset on the bow. He thinks Lucius may have started to suspect when he’d sat down to breakfast in one of Stede’s fancy silk shirts but he’d just complimented Pete on the spiffy outfit, kissed him on the nose, and gone off to take notes.
“Babe I’ve been meaning to ask you something.” He begins, pressing a kiss to Lucius’ cheek.
“What’s all this then.” Lucius giggles as Pete pulls out the small box containing their rings.
“Lucius Spriggs. “Would you do me the honor of becoming my husband?”
Pete would have liked to have released a flood of doves, but Olivia and the fluffy chicks Buttons insists are Karl’s children do a wonderful job, squawking around their heads as he gets on one knee.
“Oh my God.” Lucius clasps a hand to his mouth.
“Is that a no?” Pete laughs anxiously. “I’m going to be pretty embarrassed if it is, but its ok really, I don’t want you to feel pressured.”
“Shut up, you big idiot.” Lucius pulls Pete in by his collar and kisses him, hard. “Of course, I’ll marry you.”
Frenchie pops out from behind the mast, strumming a modified version of the wedding march.
The rest of their friends aren’t far behind, and when Lucius looks up from admiring his ring the crew’s gathered around them in a circle Stede at the center, holding a picnic basket full of rose petals.
As Lucius squeezes and slides Pete’s rings onto his finger with shaking hands to the applause of everyone gathered, he’s surprised to feel happy tears streaming down his face.
They come to lunch the next morning, having not slept a wink, petals still tangled in Lucius’ hair.
The wedding is held in an abandoned kudzu-covered church in Barbados. Ed flits around the chapel in a tizzy, hanging garlands and lighting candles to line the aisle, indulging his newfound talent for interior decorating. Stede takes them shopping in town, insisting that the occasion deserves something more special than his hand-me-downs.
They wear matching white tailcoats. Fang tucks a peony into Pete’s coat pocket and Lucius accessorizes with a baby blue ascot.
Pete is the one who walks down the aisle, arm in arm with Blackbeard, half-grown beard once again braided with bows.
Wee John stands at the altar, priest’s chasuble barely covering his knees.
Stede reads a verse from Shakespeare’s Much Ado About Nothing and then they’re facing each other, hands clasped as they vow to love each other in seasickness and health.
Lucius is undoubtedly the ship’s best artist, but Frenchie does his best to capture their first kiss as married men.
Roach caters the reception, a feast of cucumber sandwiches and meringues they enjoy on the lawn beside the church. The cake is a masterpiece, with seven layers of chocolate and buttercream filling, dusted with powder sugar and topped by Button’s expertly carved figurines of them, complete with minuscule wedding bands.
He feeds Lucius the first slice and they watch, laughing into their hands as Izzy eats so much he’s sick in the bushes.
Oluwande helps Ed drag the piano outside, and they dance to sea shanties until most of the crew’s so drunk on plum wine they can barely stand. They sit together in the empty chapel, stars visible through the skylight, and exchange presents.
Pete’s gotten Lucius a box set of smutty novels about French aristocrats, a brand new leather embossed journal titled “The astounding adventures of the Dread Black Pete and Lucius the Undrownable: Pirate Husbands”, and two new wooden fingers.
“This one’s for special occasions,” he explains, holding out the finger complete with a painted nail and black bowtie.
“And this one?” Lucius, his husband, raises an eyebrow and picks up the other finger, which has been outfitted with a retractable pen knife.
“Well that one sweetie, is for when you want to poke someone’s eye out.”
Lucius kisses him gratefully and presents him with a new sword, as well as the best gift he’s ever received.
“This is hot.” He gasps, staring slackjawed at the gift-wrapped sketch of Izzy in the nude. “I love it!”
“Good!” Lucius grins. “Do you want to know what I did to get it?”
“Every detail!”
Stede declares the wedding a great success, and not so subtly insinuates there’s to be another soon.
There isn’t time for a honeymoon, but neither of them minds. It’s awesome to be surrounded by friends, being pampered for something other than an apology for attempted murder.
And the ‘just married’ banner fluttering off the back of the Revenge looks pretty damn good.