Work Text:
Disclaimer: All characters, locations, etc. are the property of T. J. Klune… how I wish I had been involved in writing this book…
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Eye of the Beholder
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No matter how much he loved his kids, Arthur was always grateful when Zoe took them for a night to give him some peace. He was especially grateful now that he had his beloved Linus to keep him company while he worked on paperwork and bills and things that he didn’t have time for when the children were around.
Today, Arthur was sitting at the desk in his office sorting through his mountain of mostly finished paperwork while Linus was nursing a glass of wine on the sofa by the large bay window that overlooked the sea and reading a book. The sun was starting to set, basking the room with a orange and pink and leaving a pale yellow halo of light around Linus’s head.
Arthur signed his last few documents and leaned back in his chair, admiring his partner. He loved the little crows’ feet that crinkled in the corners of Linus’s eyes when he squinted at the small words on the page of his novel. He let his eyes roam over Linus’s shining, thinning hair and the roundness of his stomach.
He only had a moment before Linus noticed the absence of the sounds of shuffling papers and scratching pens and looked over.
“Finished, dear?” he bookmarked his book. “Do you want to head to bed?”
“Not quite yet, dearest Linus.” Arthur stood and poured himself a glass from the open bottle of wine on the corner of his desk. He moved forward and nudged Linus’s legs off the sofa and scooted underneath, stretching his partner’s legs over his lap. He stroked an idle hand across Linus’s shin and sipped his wine.
Linus looked out the window, and Arthur smiled when he realized it was to try to hide the pink tinge in his cheeks. He really was so beautiful.
“This is such a beautiful view,” Linus said, sipping his wine.
“I couldn’t agree more,” Arthur answered, still looking at Linus.
Linus turned back to see Arthur staring at him and blushed even more, and then tried to hide it with his nearly empty wine glass.
Linus shook his head. “I really don’t know what you see in me, Arthur,” he muttered, looking back out the window. Arthur clenched his hand around his wine glass, knowing where the conversation was going but wishing it wouldn't go there. He wasn't sure his poor, love-stricken heart could handle Linus talking badly about himself.
“Whatever do you mean, my love?” Arthur inched closer to Linus, stroking one of the knees in his lap. Linus squirmed.
“I mean… well look at me. My hair is thinning, I have a spare tire around my middle, I – ”
Arthur cut him off. “I don’t need to hear any more, dear. Why do you feel that way about yourself?”
Linus didn’t say anything for a long moment. “I guess I don’t know. I’ve always been told… and no one has ever…” he trailed off.
Arthur forced back the tears that were welling up in his eyes. If he ever found the people who had hurt Linus... “Don’t believe all of those things that people have told you in the past, Linus, they’re not true. You’re the most beautiful man I have ever met. And even if you have never been with anyone before, you’re with me now, and I love you for who you are.” Arthur reached over and squeezed Linus’s hand.
“Arthur, you’re… look at you. You’re handsome and sweet and a fucking phoenix, and I’m just… me. How could you possibly be interested in me?” Linus drained the rest of his wine and set the glass on the ground next to the sofa, tightening his grip on Arthur’s hand.
“Because you’re sweet, kind, thoughtful, and good with the kids. You’re the nicest, sweetest man I have ever met. And you’re gorgeous, my love. Look at me.” Arthur reached out and touched Linus’s chin, turning his head so he was forced to make eye contact.
“I love you. I love everything about you, from your thinning hair to your crows’ feet to your stomach to your pale legs that look like they have never seen the sun. Everything about you adds up to the man that I love more than anything, and I wouldn’t change a single thing about you, Linus. I really wouldn’t.” he stroked his thumb across Linus’s chin, desperately hoping that Linus would believe him. He didn't know if he could continue living in a world where the man he loved didn't love himself. He needed Linus to see what he saw.
“I’m not good enough for you, Arthur.” Linus shook his head and let go of the phoenix’s hand.
“Says who?” Arthur felt his heart clench at the thought of anyone being mean to Linus. He was so, so kind, how could anyone ever be mean to the man? The thought made his fire flare a little hotter.
Linus shook his head again. Arthur copied Linus, draining his glass of wine and setting it on the floor.
“Linus…” Arthur reached out and grabbed his partner’s hand again, lacing their fingers together and stroking his thumb across the back of Linus’s hand. He was silent for a moment. “I wish you could see yourself the way I see you, love.”
Linus shook his head.
Arthur, desperate to make Linus see what he saw, moved to curl himself around his partner, pressing himself between him and the back of the sofa. He propped an elbow on the arm of the sofa and delicately curled an arm around Linus’s side, gently laying his hand flat against the curve of his stomach. He kissed the top of Linus’s head.
“Arthur… Arthur, don’t” Linus fidgeted with the hand on his stomach, and Arthur let him. He rested his hand on Linus’s arm, forcing back more tears. How could he make Linus see?
“I’m trying to show you that I love every part of you, dear. If it makes you uncomfortable, I’ll stop, but… I just need you to know that I love you, Linus. I just… I hate that you feel this way about yourself.” He rested his forehead against Linus’s ear, kissing his cheek.
“I…”
Arthur replaced his hand on Linus’s stomach, making sure not to squeeze. He breathed in his scent of sandalwood soap and paper and wine. He knew that he always smelled like smoke and fire, and he knew Linus loved it, so he pressed closer.
“I love you, Linus. I love you. I need you to see that.”
Linus sighed. “I know you do, Arthur. I love you too. I just… I have some things that I need to work through. I’m sorry I’m pushing all of this onto you.”
Arthur forced away the knot in his throat so he could talk. “That’s what I’m here for, dear. I will be here for anything you might need. If you need to talk, if you need a hug, a kiss, it doesn’t matter. I will always be here for you.”
Linus craned his neck to kiss Arthur. “Thank you, my love. Thank you so much.” He pressed back into Arthur, covering the hand on his stomach with his own. Arthur nuzzled his nose into Linus’s ear.
They cuddled like that on the sofa until they fell asleep in each other’s arms. When they woke up the next morning, with kinks in their necks and smiles on their faces, Arthur thought that Linus might just believe him one day.