Chapter Text
Remy bounced from foot to foot as he excitedly rang the doorbell. Cricket was gonna freak when he showed him the new America Rat game. They were gonna play all day long!
The door finally opened and Cricket greeted him on the other side…wearing a beanie?
"Remy!" Cricket cheered and launched himself at his fellow ten year old. Remy let out a surprised "Oomph!" as they collided down the front porch steps. Vasquez watched from the side, tightening his knuckles against his blazer sleeve.
"Good to see you too Cricket." Remy laughed, patting the country boy's back . "But, maybe a little less excitement next time, you're scaring Vasquez."
Cricket laughed, getting up, and offering Remy his hand. "Yeah sorry about that bud. Now let's get to hanging!"
Remy barely got a moment to stand up before Cricket was dragging him through the front door into the living room.
"Master Remy, I'm setting your stuff by the coat rack." Vasquez announced as they bounced up and down on the couch.
"Thank you, Vasque-"
"Okay has anyone seen my phone?"
Remy stilled, bespectacled eyes widening to the sizes of his mom's good china as a familiar figure appeared by the kitchen doorway.
The guy that almost ran his best friend out of Big City (with pink hair for..some reason?)
"Ah! Cricket watch out!" Remy shouted, diving over his friend and rolling them under the protection of a throw pillow.
"Remy Wha-"
"Vasquez execute order 97!"
"Already on it Master Remy!" Vasquez nodded as he darted the short distance across the living room and tackled Chip Whistler to the ground.
"What the!" Chip yelled as he struggled, he didn't get far before Vasquez pinched the side of his neck and he went completely limp. Vasquez then hoisted Chip off the ground and trapped him in a suffocating head lock.
"Remy wait-"
"Any last words?" The bodyguard asked politely as Chip started to go blue in the face.
"I don't know," Chip gasped. "what's worse dying with pink hair or dying with chipped teeth-"
"Remy Stop!" Cricket screamed, flinging himself upwards, causing Remy to topple off onto the couch cushions.
At the same time Gramma Alice, Tilly, and Mr. Green had burst into the living room.
"What's going on we heard a noi-"
"Chip!"
"Oh for lordie's sake put him down before he passes out!"
Remy shook his head, briefly wondering if this was all a dream. "Cricket what's gotten into y'all I don't un-"
Cricket abruptly grabbed his shoulders, shaking him like a fish. "Remy! Tell Vasquez to stop right now please! I promise I'll explain!"
Remy's eyes darted from Chip back to his best friend's panicked face.
"Vasquez, put him down."
His bodyguard stilled, loosening his hold enough for Chip to slip through and fall bonelessly to the wooden floor face first with his arms splayed out in front of him. Bill and Tilly rushed over, kneeling by Chip's side to help get his breathing back under control.
Remy raised a brow turning back to his friend. "Cricket, what's going on?"
Cricket's face broke out into a guilty grin. "Heh I guess I should have told you all this beforehand-"
"You think?" Everyone interrupted including Chip, though his voice was muffled by the floorboards.
"-But uh anyway, it all started a few months ago when Dad.."
"..and that's how we got, here." Cricket laughed, looking down at his hand knots. Remy's face remained passive up until now.
"So let me get this straight, your arch nemesis has been living with you for months now, and you didn't think to mention that WHEN WE HUNG OUT LAST WEEK?!"
"It slipped my mind okay!" Cricket defended, throwing his arms in the air.
Remy took several deep breaths to try and calm himself. If he had known this was happening today he'd have brought two stress bears!
"Cricket, he tried to run you and your family out of town! How can you just let him live with you like this?!"
"Well, gee for someone with better reader comprehension than me, you sure missed the point of my story. Chip's changed, for real this time and now he's as harmless as a fruit fly…a blind fruit fly...in a wheelchair-"
"We get it!" Chip interrupted, raising his head and only his head from the floor.
Cricket shrugged. "So yeah, it all works out."
Remy struggled to hold back a groan. "I really wish you'd told me all this sooner."
Cricket looked at the floor. "Yeah I definitely should've…"
Remy sighed. "I…I don't know what to say, other than-" Remy turned to Chip, pointing a finger at his still form. "YoueverhurtmyfriendagainI'llmakesureVasquezburiesyourbodysomewherethepolicewillneverfinditdoyouunderstandmeyouheartlessproducepeddler?!"
Chip gave him a spooked side eye before saying, "Whatever four eyes just said, got it. Now could you kindly have your bodyguard un-paralyze me? I'm starting to get splinters."
"Before you do," Gramma Alice spoke up as she tread across the living room. "I've always been curious…" The old woman knelt at Chip's side and reached a hand towards his hair.
The former ceo's frowned creased. "Hey, what are you-"
"Oh my-Tilly you weren't lying." Gramma Alice proclaimed as she ran her hand atop Chip's hair. "It's as soft as-"
"As a newborn chick's feathery heini. I know." Tilly nodded as she started to pet Chip's hair too.
Remy stared on in horror, meanwhile Bill shook his head.
"C'mon guys, it can't be that soft.." The farmer took the back section of Chip's hair, his eyes widening instantly. "Oh my goodness it's like petting a baby rabbit that's been raised off nothing ,but creamed corn its whole life."
"So, soothing too." Remy spun around to see Cricket gone from his side, busy petting Chip's hair along with the rest of his family.
Chip's baffled, sulky frown about reached his soul patch at this point, but no one seemed to notice.
No one, except Remy who had to take a second to have Vasquez polish his glasses, because this just. couldn't be. real.
"Okaaay I'm going to take a walk." Chip announced as he strapped his sandals on from the kitchen chair( determined to take the back door with senior chokehold still up front in the living room). What he really needed was a week's vacation ,but a walk would have to suffice.
Bill looked up from his botany magazine. "Oh okay, just let me find my boots…"
Chip frowned as he gripped the door handle. "Uh, I meant alone."
Bill paused, pursing his lips with a shallow head nod. "Oh uh, of course Tilly can you come out here?"
The twelve year old came running in a second later. "Yes, papa?"
The farmer put a hand around his mouth, not so subtly gesturing to Chip with his thumb. "Can you follow Chip, he wants to go for a walk?"
"You do know I can hear you right?"
"Of course Papa, just let me grab my sho-"
"Guys," Finally Bill and Tilly acknowledged him. "I'm taking a walk, by myself, as in no one else around or near me. Okay?"
Bill gritted his teeth, again not so subtly eyeing Tilly again. "Yeah, yeah, definitely it's just…are you sure you don't want any company?"
Chip cocked his brow. "What's with you? It's like you're afraid I'll get hurt or something."
Judging by the shared look between the two he'd hit the nail on the head.
"Wait, you're serious, you think something's bad gonna happen to me on a simple walk?"
Bill twiddled his fingers together as he bit his lip guiltily. "Weeeeeell, it's just that…you tend to be a bit accident prone whenever we leave you alone so maybe it's best if one of us is with you..at all times."
Chip scowled, putting a hand over his chest in offense, and raising his other in self righteousness. "I am not accident prone, if anything I'm the king of safe-"
In the middle of his speech Chip accidentally banged his hand against the wall causing the contents of the top cabinet shelf to come spilling out, over his head. Luckily said contents were just a bag of sunflower seeds and an old baguette. Unluckily the baguette was stale.
"-ty." Chip groaned as he rubbed his head. Darn Gloria, she always bought that stupid bread and never finished it.
Bill looked like he was holding in an 'I told you so.' face as he put his magazine down. "It's not that we don't trust you or your judgment Chip, it's just that…well, you maybe don't have the best, uh..street smarts in the world and we just don't want you to hurt yourself."
"Excuse me?" Chip snarked, placing both hands on his hips. "Uh maybe you don't remember this, but I've been living in this city long before any of you-cept maybe the old lady-so I think I know my way around Big City just a bit better than you."
Bill sighed. "You're right, you're right. You're a grown man and you should be able to take a walk in peace if you want, right Tilly?"
The twelve year old looked up, nodding her head as she hugged Saxon close to her chest. "Yes I suppose you have a point, it's just, well with Cricket and Remy playing their game and Andromeda still visiting her Grandpa, I was hoping for some company in these lonely times ,but I can see I'm not wanted so.." She began to fake a sad walk away.
Chip rolled his eyes. "And you people called me evil. C'mon, Tilly."
"Okay!" Tilly chirped, slipping on her shoes. "Oh and Saxon wants to ride on your shoulders again."
"I'm sure he does." Chip sighed as he bent down enough for Tilly to hop on. He didn't miss the thumbs up exchanged between Bill and his daughter as they left.
Cricket and Remy didn't really talk much about the whole Chip situation for the rest of his visit, and definitely not for a lack of trying on Remy's part. Cricket just kept changing the subject or distracting him with some sick combo moves he picked up.
Remy sighed as he dug into his sliced cucumbers, ignoring Vasquez's warning about spoiling his dinner as they drove home. He looked out the window at the passing streets and his worried reflection stared back at him.
This just wasn't…fair. Cricket and his family didn't have a bodyguard to protect them like Vasquez. So why did they think it was okay to take risks like this…
If only…if only..Wait a second-
"Vasquez," Remy spoke up as they landed on a red light. The window separating driver and passenger rolled down and Vasquez stared at him from the rear view mirror. "Yes Master Remy?"
Remy took a bite out of another cucumber slice. "I need you to do something for me…"