Chapter Text
The first time it happened, he was out by the great lake by himself. He had been lying on the ground with his eyes closed when he felt something fall on his belly. Startled, he opened his eyes and saw a chocolate bar with a small piece of parchment attached to it. The note simply said ‘for you ♡’.
Sirius looked around, but the only people out at the time were two couples who were making out. He looked at the chocolate bar and after examining it and deciding that it was safe, he ate it.
His free period ended soon after, and he forced himself to get up and go to his Transfiguration class. The day went on and he gave no more thought to it.
“Pads, you alright?”
He opened his eyes and nodded, finding a concerned-looking Remus by his side at the great hall.
“Yeah. Just didn’t sleep well.”
Remus frowned. “Nightmares?”
“No, just a headache.”
“Well, then,” Remus said as he started filling Sirius’ plate with breakfast. “You have to eat, or else you won’t get better.”
Sirius couldn’t help but smile and brought himself to eat something.
As they were walking out of Potions class later that day, he felt something in his pocket, and saw it was another chocolate bar. The corridor was packed with students, so it was practically impossible to know who had put it there.
James seemed to notice him looking around. “Alright, mate?”
“Sure.”
He decided to share the chocolate after lunch with Remus, who accepted it with a soft smile that made his stomach flutter. Well, to be honest, all of Remus’ smiles made Sirius feel the fluttery thing in his stomach, and he was like fifty four percent sure that the other boy had a smile that he only ever used with Sirius, like the one he had just given him.
That night all four marauders were in the common room finishing their homework when Sirius found a wrinkled note in his bag. He was looking for a blank piece of parchment, but found instead a small folded note that said ‘I hope you have a great day’
He just raised an eyebrow at the note as if expecting it to give him some sort of explanation, and asked Peter for a piece of parchment instead.
They decided to call it a night after a while and went back to their dorm. Sirius tossed and turned in his bed for a good hour and a half before getting up and approaching Remus’ bed. He poked his head through the closed curtains and spoke softly.
“Moony?”
“Mmm.” The other boy opened a sleepy eye and before Sirius said anything else, he shuffled to the left to make space for him.
Sirius got in gingerly and made himself comfortable, finally falling asleep not long after.
The first thing he saw when he woke up was Remus’ tawny curls in front of his face. He moved slightly and it was then when he realised Remus was hugging him, his head buried in the pillow and his face pressed against his shoulder. Sirius’ heart started beating faster, which he didn’t really understand, as he and Remus hugged each other constantly. He stared in awe at the boy before him, and though he couldn’t see his face, he knew he looked overly peaceful and beautiful.
Sirius felt really comfortable, and without even thinking he draped his arm around Remus’ body and closed his eyes in an attempt to fall back asleep, though they’d have to get up for classes soon.
About ten minutes later Remus woke up, and as he was pressed against Sirius, Sirius could feel his heartbeat quicken.
“Shit.” He heard him murmur, and felt him carefully remove his arm from Sirius’ embrace.
Sirius opened his eyes, pretending he’d just woken up.
“Morning.” He mumbled, and Remus (were his cheeks pink because his face had been pressed against Sirius or was he blushing for some other reason?) smiled softly.
“Morning.”
Sirius then realised that he was still surrounding Remus with his arm, so he moved it and looked away shyly.
“Sorry.”
“‘S alright.”
Remus yawned as he stretched, and Sirius found it too adorable, so he laughed at him to avoid staring dreamily.
“Shut up.” Remus said, shoving a pillow in his face as he got up.
Sirius sat up and rubbed his eyes, and then he threw the pillow at Peter, who was still sleeping.
When Remus came out of the shower, Sirius was already dressed up and standing in front of the mirror.
“Fell in love with your reflection?” James asked mockingly.
“Says you, James ‘I must look perfect to woo Evans’ Potter.
“Ah, but I’m in love with her, not myself.”
Sirius rolled his eyes and turned to face Remus.
“Moony?”
The boy made a sound to let him know he was listening, as he was currently tying his shoelaces.
“Can you braid my hair?”
“Huh?”
“Can you braid my hair?” He repeated. “It always gets on my face, and I’ve seen you braid Evans’ hair, so I know you know how to do it.”
“Alright.” Remus walked towards him, though he looked a bit surprised by Sirius’ request.
“Well, you two stay here braiding each other’s hair, I’m going down for breakfast. Coming, Pete?” James announced, and they both left.
“What kind of braid do you want?” Remus said, gently running his fingers through his hair to untangle it.
“Uh, whatever you want.” Sirius said, flustered.
He felt Remus’ hands stroke his hair one last time before he got to actually braiding. When he finished, he put his hands on Sirius’ shoulder and admired his work. “All done.”
Sirius looked at him through the mirror and smiled softly. “Thank you, Moons.”
Remus returned the smile, but something quickly changed in his gaze as he patted his shoulder. “Now, breakfast!”
During Charms that day they were practising non-verbal spells, and Flitwick suggested they started with levitation. Halfway through the lesson, the class was full with flying quills and pieces of parchment. Though one in particular had been levitating right in front of Sirius’ face for a while. He tried to move away from it, but it followed his every move and floated right in front of his eyes. He grabbed it and unfolded it. There was a simple note written on it, ‘you look very beautiful today’. He looked around to see if anyone was looking at him, but everyone seemed focused on their assignment. This note, unlike the previous ones, he folded back and put it in his pocket.
During the next two weeks, he only got chocolate five times, but the small notes, those he received every day. They all said sweet little things (‘your new hairstyle really suits you’, ‘you deserve all the good in the world ♡’, ‘i may have a tiny little crush on you’, ‘did you come up with today’s prank? It was really funny’, ‘i hope you enjoyed the chocolate i sent you earlier’, etc.), and they found their way towards him in different ways. He got some during the morning post, others while he lay alone either in the common room or by the great lake, and sometimes, it wouldn’t be until night when he discovered something in his bag.
Sirius had no idea who was sending him these small messages, and the handwriting didn’t belong to any of his friends (he had asked every single one of his classmates to see their notes ‘to check something’, and none of them matched the anonymous sender’s).
He hadn’t told any of the other marauders about it, either, though Remus had caught him once staring at a note with a dreamy expression during McGonagall’s lesson. He had raised an eyebrow at him and Sirius had just blushed and shaked his head.
Him and Remus had always been close. It was different than with James or Peter, though. James was like his brother, and he’d been the first friend he made on the train. They were always scheming and plotting together, and playful wrestling was a common thing between them. With Peter he would usually sneak to the kitchen and grab some snacks, and they were constantly mocking the other two marauders.
But with Remus it was all soft smiles and lingering touches. Sirius didn’t feel the need to be loud with him, and Remus was probably the only one who’d seen him at his most vulnerable. Perhaps that’s why it was him who comforted him after a nightmare, rubbing his back comfortingly until he fell back asleep. And somewhere along the way, Sirius had fallen in love with him.
He had tried confessing his feelings for him once, in fifth year, but decided against it at the very last moment.
“Sirius, you know you can tell me anything, right? Remus had said earnestly, holding his right hand in both of his.
Sirius had gulped. “I know.” But he couldn’t get the words to leave his mouth. “I think I’m not ready yet.” He’d said, more to himself than to Remus.
Remus had given his hand one little squeeze before letting go. “I’m here whenever you need to talk, Pads.”
In the year that followed, his feelings for the boy only grew stronger, and he felt a rush of affection towards him everytime he so much as gave him a smile. And perhaps it was just wishful thinking, but lately Remus had been giving him that soft, loving smile quite often.
One Saturday morning the four of them were sitting in their dorm room trying to perfect a little prank that involved the great lake and the Giant Squid somehow wolf-whistling at innocent passer-byers. How would the squid wolf-whistle, they hadn’t figured out yet, but James insisted on carrying on with the prank as ‘we’re marauders, we can’t leave a job unfinished!’. So that’s why they've been sitting for over an hour trying to solve that little problem.
“I mean, we could always just ask the squid to help us.” Sirius said with a yawn.
Remus’ eyes suddenly widened and a huge grin appeared on his face. “Oh my god, Sirius, you’re a bloody genius!” He exclaimed, and before Sirius could process what he had said that was so intelligent, Remus held his face with both hands and pressed a strong kiss on his cheek before fleeing the dorm.
Sirius’ face reddened and Peter snickered beside him.
“Do we follow him or…?”
They found him in the library, a few books scattered around and scanning the pages like a maniac, all the while scribbling something down on a piece of parchment. All three of them knew better than interrupting him, so they took a seat and waited for him to address them.
Remus looked up a while later, grinning broadly at them. “Guys, this is it.”
He then proceeded to explain that Sirius’ comment made him think of a potion he’d vaguely read something about a while earlier that could enable them to communicate with any creature. And with that, alongside with some gillyweed, they could literally ask the Giant Squid to collaborate on the prank.
“Pads, you’re the best at potions, you brew it. And Pete, you can transform and get some gillyweed from Slughorn’s cabinet.”
Both boys nodded, and James raised an eyebrow. “And what do we do?”
“Uh, you can help Padfoot if you want to. I’ll take the map and make sure Pete doesn’t stumble into anyone.”
“Actually…” Peter spoke. “Maybe James could accompany me? I needed to ask you something, anyway.” He said, addressing James.
They shared a look that Sirius couldn’t quite read, and James smiled. “Of course, Wormy!” He then turned to Remus. “Besides, ever since you’ve teamed up with Lilyflower your potion skills have improved. You stay with Padfoot.”
“Just say you don’t wanna make the potion, Prongs.”
“Of course, Sirius.”James grinned.
Someone hushed them across the library, and James and Peter left immediately
Sirius stood up from his seat, but Remus was still scanning the book before him. He looked up and Sirius felt a bit awkward just standing there.
“Hey, um, you can go and get started with the potion if you want. I need to check something first, might take some time.”
“Sure.” Sirius nodded and turned to exit the library, but Remus called him. “Yeah?”
Remus handed him a piece of parchment, his eyebrows raised in amusement. “You’re gonna need this, don’t you think?”
Sirius grabbed it and saw the instructions for the potion. “You know me, Moons, always eager to start brewing some random potion for a prank.”
“Sure, Padfoot.” Remus said with a smile.
On his way to the empty classroom they used for their prank-related stuff, a flying piece of parchment was levitating by his side. He opened it after looking around (and, as usual, there was no one), and read the message it contained.
‘Your smile is so beautiful, it always makes my day’
Sirius sighed and shoved the note in his pocket.
He gathered the ingredients for the potion and started brewing it.
Oh, what he would give for Remus to be the one sending him these little notes. It was highly unlikely, of course, and Sirius knew better than letting himself think that his friend was secretly in love with him or whatever, but he couldn’t help feeling a flutter in his stomach whenever he was with Remus.
He really loved hugging him, and thankfully they did so quite often. At first he’d usually try to come up with some dumb excuse to get a hug from Remus, but they got more and more ridiculous with time, so he eventually gave up on that and just surrounded the other boy with his arms. And Remus would always hug him back. He would make a sarcastic comment, or chuckle, or roll his eyes (fondly, always fondly), or pat his head, or whatever, but he always hugged back. And sometimes it was him who initiated the hug, usually when Sirius was feeling shitty and Remus was concerned about him. Those usually lasted the longest, and ended with a soft smile on Sirius’ face and Remus asking gently if he was feeling any better.
The door opened as Sirius was adding fluxweed to the cauldron, and an involuntary smile appeared on his face as he saw Remus enter the room.
Remus smiled back and took a seat across from him. “Alright?”
“Mhm. It’s a pretty simple potion, though it needs to simmer for like an hour, so we’ve got time to kill.” He said as he stirred twice clockwise, and then seven times counter-clockwise. Then he lowered the heat and clasped his hands. “Alright, now we wait.”
“You sure you did everything correctly?”
“You wound me, Moony, don’t you trust me?” He said in mock disbelief.
Remus rolled his eyes, but Sirius saw he was smiling.
He started cleaning up and putting away the ingredients he’d used while Remus just sat there, levitating random stuff across the room.
“What’s taking them so long?”
“D’you reckon they got caught?”
“What a shitty guard James is, then. He was supposed to prevent that from happening!”
They decided to go outdoors instead of waiting in the room for the potion to be ready, which almost cost them the potion itself. They had gone outside and sat under a tree, both of them draped under Sirius’ enlarged robe as it was a bit chilly. And they had been so comfortable that they had totally forgotten about the potion. Luckily, the Giant Squid emerged from the lake and they both jumped, running towards the unattended cauldron. They got there in time, and the potion was still a few minutes away from being complete.
Sirius sighed in relief.
“Let’s not tell James and Pete about this, shall we?”
“Tell not James and Pete about what?” Peter’s voice startled them.
“Where the hell were you this whole time?”
“What are you trying to hide, Padfoot?”
“Did you bring the gillyweed? Tell me at least you got it.”
“Did you fuck the potion up?”
“Filch caught you?”
“Everybody, shut the hell up!” Remus shouted, and the three of them fell silent. He then sighed and rubbed his eyes with the heels of his hands. “Sorry.”
James raised his hands. "Sorry, Moony, you alright?"
“Yeah, sorry. Headache.”
“I think it’s best we leave the prank for tomorrow.” Sirius said.
“But tomorrow’s the full moon!” Peter chimed in.
“Which is exactly why we need to rest as much as possible today.”
“Yeah,” Remus added. “Besides, that way I have something to distract me tomorrow.”
“Oh, Moony, you know we would do anything to distract you!”
“I know, James, I really know. Thanks for that.” He smiled.
Two days after the full Remus and Sirius were lounging in their dorm while James and Peter were in class (Sirius had insisted on making Remus company), Remus reading some muggle book and Sirius staring dreamily at him from his own bed.
"Moooonyyyy." He whined after a while.
Remus made a sound to let him know he was listening, not looking up from his book. Sirius sighed dramatically and went over to his bed, laying face-down next to Remus.
"Moony, pay attention to me, I'm bored."
"I'm reading, Sirius." He said, but he closed his book and left it on the nightstand.
"You're always reading, Moony, it's not fair." He complained.
"And you're always annoying me, Pads. How's that fair?"
Sirius shrugged and buried his face on the pillow.
After a while in silence, he felt Remus poke him on the ribs, making him yelp and look up.
"You wanted me to give you attention, and when I give it to you you decide to take a nap?"
"'m not napping." Remus just raised an eyebrow. "Can I just stay here? I won't bother you anymore, I promise."
"Sure, yeah." He said, reaching out for his book again.
He started reading and Sirius looked up at him a few times. He did try not to bother him, but after half an hour of silence he needed to talk.
"Moony?"
"Mmm."
"Am I annoying?"
"On a daily basis, yeah."
"Oh." He buried his face on the pillow again, and heard Remus put down the book on the nightstand after a few seconds.
He tapped his head and he looked up.
"I was joking, Pads, you're not annoying." He smiled softly.
"Okay." Sirius mumbled.
"I'm serious."
His face broke in a grin. "Well, you know…"
Remus rolled his eyes but smiled nonetheless.
"Well, maybe you are a little bit annoying. Just a little bit, though."
"Meh." He shrugged again, and Remus poked his ribs again.
"Can I go back to reading now?"
"But I'm very bored."
"You don't have to stay here, you know."
"But I want to."
"Well then."
Just as Remus was reaching for the book, Sirius transformed into Padfoot and threw himself on Remus, who laughed and patted his head.
They played for a good fifteen minutes (well, Padfoot played while Remus laughed from his bed as he was still sore from his own transformation), and then Padfoot leaped across the bed and lay on top of Remus. He chuckled and petted his fur while cooing at him, a huge smile on his face. He leaned in to softly kiss his snout at the same time that he was transforming back, which ended up in Sirius laying atop of Remus, who was still holding him, and their faces were too close.
Sirius internally cursed himself for not waiting a few seconds before transforming, but before he could do or say anything, Remus threw his head back and laughed loudly.
“Ew, that was so weird!” He paused to catch his breath. “I could feel all your bones change back!”
It took Sirius a while to catch up and realise he was talking about the transformation, and he finally laughed and changed to Padfoot again. That made Remus cackle again and squirm away from the dog, who was still on top of him. He managed to free himself from underneath him, all the while still laughing.
“Stop, it feels really weird!”
Sirius transformed back and sat cross-legged in front of Remus, grinning broadly. "Mission accomplished."
Remus raised an eyebrow. "What mission, if I may ask?"
"Mission 'Get Remus to leave his book and spend more time with Sirius.'"
Remus chuckled and rolled his eyes. "I think you're exaggerating here, Pads, I always spend time with you!" Sirius just raised an eyebrow. "Okay, yeah, I'm usually reading or studying or whatever, but we're always in the same room, that's spending time together for me!"
"Well, that's boring for me. Plus, that book has seen your face more than I have, at this point!" That was a boldfaced lie, but whatever.
"Why'd you wanna see my face, anyway." He said as he was stretching and lay on his back with his eyes closed.
Because you're one of the most beautiful people I have ever seen and I love looking at you when you're distracted because you're so adorable, but I also want you to look back at me because I feel noticed. Because I'm ridiculously in love with you and when you look at me with that soft gaze I like to pretend you love me back. Because that smile of yours makes me so happy I can barely hide my own smile. Because, because, because.
Of course, Sirius was not going to say all this to his face, so he opted to stay silent and lie next to his friend.
They lay in peace and quiet for a few minutes, until Peter stormed into the dorm and startled both of them. He stopped in his tracks, gaping at them without even closing the door.
"Sorry. Uh, am I interrupting something?"
"Just a peaceful moment, nothing much." Remus replied dryly.
"Gonna come in or what?" Sirius added.
"Oh," He finally moved and went over to James' trunk. "Just came for the cloak, don't mind me, guys."
Sirius shuffled and lay on his belly, closing his eyes as he was feeling rather sleepy. However, Peter's rustling was pretty distracting.
"Hey," Peter whispered loudly. "D'you know where the cloak is? I can't find it."
He sighed and mumbled "Accio cloak. There you go."
"Hadn't thought about that, thanks mate."
"Why are you whispering?" Remus said
"Uh…" He seemed out of a logical response, so he just shrugged. "Well," he cleared his throat. "It's almost lunchtime, you coming down or what? James and I can bring you food, no worries."
Sirius waited for Remus to reply as he was the one to decide.
"Nah, it's fine. Thanks though."
"Sure, Moony. I'm off then."
Peter left the dorm and Sirius slumped back down on the bed. Remus, however, got up and went to the bathroom after picking some clothes, as he was still in his pyjamas.
He got out a couple of minutes later and threw James’ pillow at his head.
“Oi, don’t fall asleep now.”
Sirius grumbled, and after a while he too got up and went downstairs for lunch.
After eating, Remus went to the library with Peter’s notes to catch up on his missed lessons, and though Sirius wanted to go with him, he decided not to be a bother and just stay in the common room.
He chatted with Marlene until Dorcas came back from her own study session, and left the couple to have some alone time. He went to the dorm, where he found an owl tapping on the window glass. He opened it and the small owl entered, extending its claw* so Sirius could take the note it was carrying.
'fun fact: i really really like you'
Sirius kept staring at the piece of parchment. Why had that surprised him so much? The person had been sending him notes and gifts for one month and a half, it was pretty obvious they liked him. But they had never said so. Perhaps Sirius had assumed they were just being a nice person. Perhaps he had convinced himself this was the case because he didn't want someone to like him that way. Not when he was already in love with Remus Lupin.
He vaguely registered when James entered the dorm mumbling something about needing to speak with Peter, and barely noticed Remus coming in a couple of minutes later. He had been staring at the void, sitting cross-legged on his bed and deep in thought, so it startled him when Remus touched his shoulder to bring him back to his senses.
“What’s wrong, Padfoot?” He said softly, looking intently at him.
Sirius finally looked up and his eyes welled up a bit when he saw Remus all worried and concerned about him. He didn’t know what to respond, so he simply handed him the note he was still holding. He saw Remus’ eyes widen slightly, and moved to make space next to him in his bed.
“I need advice, Moony.” He said after a few minutes in silence.
Remus looked at him with raised eyebrows, but made a sign so as to start talking.
“Well. I guess I need to talk to you, most importantly.”
“Of course, Sirius.” Remus said reassuringly.
He took a deep breath. “I have been getting these” he motioned to the note Remus was now holding “little notes for, uh, almost two months now? They all say sweet things, and sometimes I get a small gift or something as well. I don’t know who the person is, and I don’t really know why I hadn’t told any of you guys, but I think it’s pretty adorable. I even kept some of the notes, and the chocolate, well, that I shared with you.”
Remus gave him a soft, little smile.
“The problem is, Moony, that I already like someone. A boy someone.” He added after a pause, and looked at his friend for his reaction.
Remus looked, if anything, sad. However, he nodded and smiled at Sirius, giving his arm a little squeeze.
Sirius smiled back and continued talking. “The other problem is that I don’t know if the person I like likes blokes as well. And obviously I haven’t told him anything. And I also feel bad for the person who’s sending me these, because apparently they like me, but as sweet as they are, I can’t stop thinking about… him.”
“Do you think there’s even a chance this boy likes you back?”
Sirius looked at him and smiled. “I like to think so, yeah.”
Remus nodded again. “I think, maybe you should tell him.” He said in a small voice. “Maybe you’re lucky and he does like you. And if he doesn’t, his loss, and I’ll be here for you, alright?”
Sirius looked at him and felt his eyes fill up with tears again, so he hugged Remus tightly. This was the boy he was in love with, everyone, and he felt so lucky for even being his friend. So he told him exactly that (leaving out the being in love bit). Remus just hugged him tighter and mumbled something that Sirius couldn’t understand.
The moment was interrupted by Peter once again, though this time he didn’t even look in their direction. He ran towards the bathroom, took something from the cabinet, and ran out of the dorm.
“Hello to you, too, Peter.” Remus said to the empty room, finally pulling back from the hug.
“Don’t you think he’s behaving a bit oddly, lately?”
“And James, yeah. They’re spending way too much time together.”
“Us too, I guess.”
Remus smiled softly, and then he got up. “I think I’m going to sleep now.”
“What about dinner?”
Remus shrugged. “Not hungry.” He changed into his pyjamas and and got in bed. “G’night, Sirius.”
"Mind if I stay here as well? I'm not hungry either."
"This is your room, Pads, you don't need to ask for permission." Remus spoke from under his covers.
Sirius shrugged and got in his own bed, laying on his back and staring at the ceiling.
He was thinking of what Remus had told him. Maybe he should actually tell him it was him he liked. He knew Remus didn't have a problem with him liking boys, but maybe it was different knowing that your male best friend liked boys and knowing that your male best friend liked you . Anyway, Remus had promised to be by his side if he got rejected, right? Would he still keep his promise if it was him who rejected him? Knowing Remus, he probably would.
Half an hour later James and Peter came back from wherever they had been, and after some whispering they both got into their respective beds.
Sirius groaned and lay on his side.
Sirius decided to tell him as soon as they were alone, which was probably going to be tomorrow morning. He started imagining different scenarios, and how he would approach the topic.
'Moony, I think I'm in love with you, will you go out with me? ' No, that seemed kinda intense. Maybe something more casual? ' Hey, remember how last night I said I liked someone? Yeah, I was talking about you '. Nope, not that either.
An hour passed and he still couldn't fall asleep.
Maybe he should just drop hints and let Remus realise on his own? That probably wouldn't work, as Sirius'd been using every given opportunity to cuddle with Remus, and the boy probably hadn't thought what it meant. James did say that Sirius' love language seemed to be physical touch, yet Remus was still oblivious to that.
Sirius buried his face on the pillow and let out a long 'fuck'
"Can't sleep?"
"Merlin, Moony, you scared me." He said when he saw Remus' head poking from the curtains
"Sorry. Can I come in?"
"Of course." He moved ro make him space and lay on his back. Remus lay on his back as well. "Sorry if I woke you, I was just thinking."
"About?"
"You." Fuck fuck fuck, abort mission right fucking now.
Remus raised an eyebrow.
"I meant like, uh, I was thinking about what you said earlier. About… talking. To the person I like?" Shit.
Remus chuckled. "Okay. So are you gonna tell him?"
"I guess so. I just need to figure out how."
"Alright." Remus paused. "If you need help or whatever, let me know."
"Are you still sore?"
"... No?"
"Brilliant." Sirius rolled to his side and snuggled up on Remus' side, his head on Remus' chest and surrounding him with his arm.
He felt Remus chuckle. "What's up with all the affection today?" He shrugged, and just as he was removing his arm from the embrace, Remus put his own arm around him. "It's okay, I wasn't complaining, you know."
"Isn't it annoying, though?" Sirius mumbled.
"I thought we had made it clear this morning that you're not annoying."
Sirius stayed silent for a few minutes.
"You know, you're being very supportive, which, of course, I really appreciate, but I'm surprised you're not making fun of me for liking someone."
"You look devastated enough, I'm not going to mock you. If you were acting like James, though, I probably would've."
Silence again. Sirius was still unable to sleep, despite all the warmth and comfort.
"How about you, Moony? Do you like someone?"
When Remus didn't respond, he looked up at him.
"Oh, you do!"
"They like someone else, though."
Sirius didn't know how to feel about that. He was mainly sad, both about Remus liking someone and that someone liking someone else.
"Well then, if we both get rejected, we can just get together, problem solved." He half joked.
"As if." Remus scoffed.
"What? You don't think I'd be a good boyfriend?"
Despite the dim light, Sirius could see Remus blush. "You won't get rejected. I mean, you're awesome, and I know you, of course you'd make a good boyfriend."
"You won't get rejected either, I'm pretty sure."
"Or course I won't, cause I'm not even confessing in the first place."
Sirius let out a small laugh. Of course that's what Remus would say.
"Hey, Pads?" Remus spoke after a while.
"Yeah?" He looked up.
"I think… Okay. You know how you said you liked a boy?" Sirius nodded. "I think it's only fair for me to tell you that I also like boys. And girls, too. But yeah. I just wanted you to know."
"Thanks for telling me." Sirius hugged him. He started feeling a bit bad. Yes, Remus had said that it didn't bother him, but then again, they had never hugged for so long before, and now Sirius was practically on top of him.
He moved away from Remus and lay on his belly, his hands under his chin and his legs in the air, grinning at his friend widely.
"So, Remus, dear, tell me, who do you like?"
"I'm not gonna tell you."
"Oh, come on!"
"Nuh-uh."
Sirius sighed in defeat. So goodbye to that.
"Okay, fine. And how would you describe your ideal partner?"
Remus rolled his eyes.
"Come on! I need to know if someone meets your standards, and see if they're appropriate for you. Can't have anyone break my Moony's heart."
Remus smiled and looked away shyly, and Sirius had to contain himself not to hug the boy again.
"Go on, perfect partner, now."
"I don't know. Just someone I can be myself with, I guess. Someone who knows me and still likes me."
"Hmm. Do they have to be a good kisser?"
"I don't like kissing."
He gasped. "Have you ever kissed anyone?"
Remus shrugged. "No. And I intend on keeping it that way. It's… it just seems gross to me."
"It's alright, you don't have to explain yourself." He rolled again and lay on his side. Remus followed suit, and moved so they were facing each other.
"How about kisses not-on-the-lips?" He asked, thinking of all the times he'd kissed Remus on the cheek or top of his head and wondering if he'd been making him uncomfortable all this time.
Remus took his hand and pressed a soft kiss on the back of it. "Those I don't mind."
Sirius felt like he was about to burst from all the affection he was feeling right now.
As he was still trying to hide his huge grin, Remus spoke.
"So?"
"So what?"
"Does anyone meet those standards?"
"Hmm." He pretended to be thinking. "There are exactly four people who do."
"Enlighten me."
"Well, obviously there's me," He paused to see Remus' reaction. He just nodded smilingly and said 'uh huh'. "James and Peter too, and Evans. All four of us love you deeply, we know about your furry little problem, and we'd do anything to keep you safe or make you happy."
Remus smiled fondly and seemed to hesitate before speaking again.
"But James is head over heels with Lily, he'd also murder me if I got with her, and someone's already caught your eye. So my only option here would be Peter."
Fuck it, I'm going to tell him.
"Did you not hear what I said about doing anything to make you happy? I mean, I wouldn't mind going out with you, for example. And fuck James and his pining, if you wanted to be with Lily, no one's to stop you!"
Remus just shrugged and closed his eyes. After a while in silence, Sirius thought he had fallen asleep, but he spoke not much later.
"And who do you like?" When Sirius didn't respond, Remus opened his eyes and looked at him. "Pads?"
He sighed.
"Sorry, you don't have to tell me."
"No, no, I want to. I said I would, anyway."
Remus frowned slightly. "Did you?"
"Yeah. I said I needed some time to figure out how to tell you, but I would, eventually."
Remus opened his mouth, closed it, and opened it again. "But you were talking about the person you liked."
"Indeed, I was." Remus just blinked, and Sirius took a deep breath. "I guess this is me confessing my feelings for you, Moony? I really like you, Remus, and I've been meaning to tell you since last year, I think. I just… never found the courage."
Remus didn't say anything, he was just staring at him wide-eyed. Sirius started to regret ever saying anything.
"Moony? Can you please say something?"
"... You like me?" He barely whispered.
"Surprise." He attempted to joke. "You don't- I know you like someone else, and I hope they like you back because you deserve it, Moons. You deserve the whole world. I just wanted you to know how I feel."
He started to tear up and clumsily covered his eyes with his hands. "Shit, sorry." He sniffed.
He felt the bed move, and suddenly Remus was hugging him, rubbing his back softly. "It's okay." And he pressed a soft kiss to his head.
After a few seconds, Remus pulled back from the hug and smiled warmly at him. Sirius could see his eyes were welled up as well.
"I know I said I wasn't going to confess my feelings to the person I like. But I wasn't counting on them actually liking me back, so I guess I will, now." He paused and Sirius' heart might have just stopped beating. "I, too, really like you, Sirius. Like, really really like you. A lot. So yeah."
"Are you being serious right now, Moony?"
"I am being utterly serious, Padfoot."
"Woah. I'm… Can I- Okay. I'm going to hug you Moony." He said and then proceeded to envelop the boy in a rib-crushing hug. Remus laughed and surrounded him with his arms tightly. "Wow. I'm so happy right now, Moony, you have no idea."
"I think I have a slight idea, yeah." Remus chuckled.
Sirius pulled back and gaped at Remus' face as if it was the first time he saw him. He was also grinning like an idiot. He noticed the way Remus was blushing and looking away, which made him all the more adorable. Sirius just held his face and kissed his cheeks repeatedly, making Remus laugh.
"Okay, okay, you're happy, I get it." He said, trying to get away from Sirius' reach.
"You know what would make me even happier?" He didn't even give the boy time to respond. "Would you like to be my boyfriend, Moony?"
"Are you kidding, I'd love to!"
Sirius buried his face on the pillow to muffle his excited scream.
"Calm down, boyfriend, you're going to wake them." He said, motioning with his head to James' and Peter's beds.
"How silly of me. Forgive me, boyfriend." He replied without a trace of regret in his voice.
Remus, who was still smiling warmly, was looking at him with that beautiful glint in his eyes and the smile that, Sirius was now sure, he only ever used with him. He leaned in and kissed his temple before hugging him gently.
"I'm very happy as well."
Surprisingly, he started feeling sleepy, what with the warmth and comfort of being draped in Remus' arms and the soft sound of his heartbeat. He fell asleep with a smile still on his face.