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Victor Grantz walked down the long halls of the manor, on the way back to his room. Wick accompanied him, trailing behind the man with a happy trot. Victor looked around cautiously before turning the corner, still as wary and careful as he'd been when he first arrived.
The other survivors here at the manor were quite intimidating. He didn't like to spend time with them outside of the matches, not often. It didn't mean he didn't like them, though. He'd known a lot of them to be very welcoming and kind outside of their gloomy, tired expressions they held day-to-day. He felt a little guilty for being distant.
He'd always been a lot better with animals, anyway. They weren't as cruel as people were known to be; so if he was being honest, maybe it was better this way. Victor didn't mind keeping to himself. Besides, he was never really alone- he had Wick.
Wait.
Victor halted when he noticed the second pair of steps had come to a stop behind him, and quickly turned to see a too-familiar figure at the end of the hallway; the one who accompanied an owl, just as he had accompanied a dog. He was kneeling, his hand scratching at Wick's ears. Victor tensed.
"Hello there, Mr. Grantz." The seer greeted, not looking up as he pet Wick on his belly now, the dog cheerily rolling around in front of him.
"He bites." Victor had said after a moment, a flat out lie. Wick did not bite at all, in fact, he loved the other survivors. Eli knew it, too.
"So I see." Eli chuckled.
Victor just watched as Eli played with the dog, his face heating up as he'd been caught in his lie. The seer didn't seem to care very much.
Victor was quite infatuated with him, really. His mannerisms- the way he moved his hands when he explained things, fingers pointed like a teacher, and how he adjusted his cloak when he got embarrassed. His interests- Victor always seemed to start paying attention when Eli mentioned something he enjoyed, like astrology. Victor knew his favorite constellation was Ursa Major because it was associated with mythology. His personality- oh, how Victor loved his personality. He was a very gentle person, reassuring. He was kind and patient and always seemed to know what to do under pressure. There was a familiarity to him Victor couldn't quite pinpoint, but he found it comforting and admirable nonetheless. The praise Eli gave him during matches was quite charming as well. Victor thinks he would like to be friends with him.
He sighed to himself as he realized he didn't mind if Eli played with his dog without asking first. He wasn't a threat.
None of them were.
Eli stood, and Wick ran around him excitedly. The two smiled, and Victor moved his gaze to the wall when Eli looked in his direction. It had been quiet for a moment before he heard the seer slowly approach him, offering his hand to Victor, almost as if he were a scared animal being encouraged to leave his home. Victor held a confused expression and he saw Eli smile again- that stupid smile.
"Why don't you join us for dinner? C'mon."
Victor sucked in a quick breath before shaking his head no, absolutely not, but Eli hadn't yet faltered; his hand held out insistently, patiently. Victor kept the rejection on the tip of his tongue. He couldn’t bring himself to actually deny the offer.
He couldn’t bring himself to disappoint Eli.
Victor stopped in place and sighed in defeat, taking Eli's hand. Eli grinned and pulled Victor back down the hallway, and Victor felt a blush creep up along his neck at the way Eli wrapped his fingers around his wrist.
I'd only like to get to know him, Victor thought as he was led. They hadn't ever talked very much before; just the short, friendly greetings when passing each other by and small talk when Victor offered his assistance with decoding the last few ciphers in the matches they'd had together. He’d always appreciated how Eli would talk to him at a cipher without expecting a response. He liked to listen to Eli, liked the way his eyebrows furrowed in concentration, liked to watch the way his hands worked at the machinery. It always got him distracted and trying not to mess up for the sake of not embarrassing himself in front of the seer. He wanted Eli to know he wasn’t a dunce.
To impress him, Victor always hoped.
He wasn’t quite sure if he’d accomplished that quite yet. The blonde man frowned.
So… why did Eli go out of his way to invite him? Had Eli followed him all the way up here just to ask if he'd come along? And if so, what was the importance of having him there? He's doubtful he will talk much, if at all. And surely he wasn't the only one to not show up for dinner. He was certain others like Aesop Carl and Andrew Kreiss were not the type to socialize outside of matches.
Eli glanced back at Victor as they neared the corner, right outside of the large dining room. Victor pulled his hand away and stepped back, fumbling around with his bag. Eli said nothing as he watched him, his lips settled with a kind smirk and his eyes soft with something Victor just couldn’t recognize.
“Will you sit beside me?” Victor finally asked after a moment. He saw Eli grin, flashing his teeth, as if he was waiting for Victor to ask.
“That was my intention, Mr. Grantz,” he said, nodding his head toward the room behind them. “I'm sure everyone's wondering where we are.”
“We?” Victor frowned and clutched his bag tighter. “They… they already know I'm coming?”
Eli turned back around, expression concerned. Gentle. Victor thought he felt his heart flutter, but just for a moment.
He’s just nervous, is all. Really nervous.
“They do. Is that alright?” Eli asked, voice soft and low, a frown on his face now, too. “I just figured if they knew beforehand they wouldn't make a big deal out of it, if you'd agreed. For your comfort, of course.”
Victor felt his cheeks burn. Eli truly was the sweetest to him…
He shook his head to himself. He's sweet to everyone, that's what he admired about Eli.
“Yes. Thank you…” Victor said softly, taking a deep breath before nearing the entrance of the dining room and peeking in.
He saw quite a few people he liked, specifically Emily Dyer, who he was the most relieved to see. He let out a deep sigh, breathing out some of his butterflies. She was always so kind to him, ready to jump in and help at any moment. Beside the doctor was Emma, who appeared to be as talkative and excited as usual, her eyes vacant and unfocused as if she wasn’t completely there. Emily was looking at her, nodding along and listening intently to her story, like a mother to her child. It made Victor smile a little.
Hopefully Emma would leave no room for him to speak. She was talking so fast, it was hard to catch up… at least from here.
Victor felt his heart flutter again when a hand touched his lower back, turning to see Eli smiling at him. His back tingled where Eli’s hand was placed, and Victor bit at his lip.
“Are you ready?” He asked, no pressure in his voice, and Victor nodded slowly.
Eli coaxed him into the room, moving to stand in front of him. Victor followed, peeking around Eli’s shoulder.
There was a sudden pit in his stomach when he saw everyone looking in their direction, the room getting quieter and the air thick. Victor swallowed, his body felt hot all over. Was it just him?
Please don't say anything please don't say anything please-
Eli moved to the side just a bit, still blocking most of Victor’s body from the sight of the others, and Emily smiled widely when she saw him.
“There you are! Come on now boys, before your food gets cold!” She said, gesturing towards the two empty chairs near the end of the table, across from her. Victor sighed in relief.
He followed Eli to the long table, saying nothing as the seer pulled Victor’s chair out for him, his hands holding tight on the back of the chair and his finger scratching at the polished wood. Victor’s lips turned up in a small shy smile, and he covered it with his hand as he looked to the side.
He felt his face burn as he sat down in his chair, breathing in slowly. He unwrapped the elegant-looking cloth from his silverware, grimacing as it slipped and clattered loudly onto the table. He felt like everyone was staring at him as he fumbled to hold them, too afraid to look up. His cheeks were on fire, hands trembling, and he could feel the embarrassment flood throughout his body, burning deep into his skin and boiling his blood. Victor could swear he was going to catch a flame at any moment now. He glanced at Eli once, desperate to recollect himself.
Is it really that hot in here?
He felt so cornered, he was cornered. Victor twirled the spoon around as he looked down at his lap.
Wick lay comfortably beside his chair, looking up at him, eyes wide and glistening. Victor rolled his eyes, he always knew what Wick was communicating.
It's okay. I'm right beside you. No one is looking anymore.
Victor’s lip trembled, nodding at the dog. He wasn't sure whether the attention was on him, and he didn't want to find out, so he figured it'd be best to believe the dog and focus on the meal in front of him.
He poked around at the food, and God I don't think I can eat right now, they'll watch me. They didn't want me to join them. Eli’s only trying to make ME feel better. It's not helpingnothelpingnothelping.
“Victor?”
Nothelpingnothelpingnothelping.
“Mr. Grantz?”
NOTHELPINGNOTHELPINGNOTHELPING.
“GRANTZ!”
Victor’s head snapped up, eyes wide. Everyone was looking at him, concerned and confused. It was getting hard to breathe, especially when he noticed Kreacher Pierson was the one shouting at him. He was sitting not too far from Emily, diagonal from Victor, and he looked unhappy, eyebrows arched and eyes narrowed. Victor felt his heart stop in his chest, pinching and crushing his lungs as he tried to take a deep breath.
“Um…”
“So? Tell me, do you write all of those letters in one night? How do you have enough for all those matches?” the Thief asked, though he still looked annoyed. His voice was unpleasant and demanding, his tone rough and loud, and he almost felt like a child being scolded.
“Ah… I…” Victor began, looking around at the table, everyone's eyes were on him. He felt a knot in his throat, tears pricking at his eyes. His cheeks were on fire, and a sudden wave of dizziness caused his hands to grip at his jeans.
So hot. I can't breathe.
“I just…” Victor trailed off, a tremble evident in his voice, and he realized that he didn't even remember the question. He didn’t want to look at Eli right now.
He won't talk to you again after this. You ruined it.
Victor pressed his lips together. His mouth felt dry as he looked back down at his lap, beyond embarrassed. He couldn't dare look at anyone after this.
“Do you understand how to speak or not?” Kreacher groaned, shaking his head in annoyance.
“Hey, stop that.” He heard Eli say, and Victor tried his best to not close his eyes. Tears were already threatening to slip out, hanging off of his eyelashes and blurring his eyesight.
The thief scoffed and rolled his eyes. “What? I was just curious to know, and I can't even get a response out of him. I don’t think he even knows how.”
“Not everyone likes to talk to you, Mr. Pierson.” Emily said, anger clear under her low, calm tone.
This wouldn’t have happened if you showed up.
“Watch it, Dyer. See, he can’t even look at me.”
“Not everyone wants to look at you, either!”
Look what you did. Starting a fight, and you haven’t said much more than a word.
Victor swore he could feel the weight of his thoughts pulling down on his brain, his head heavy and spinning and loud.
He heard the thief begin to shout now, and Victor felt his ears sting. The sounds of the voices around him arguing back and forth confused him, and Victor felt himself trembling.
So loud. It's all so incredibly loud.
The gentle touch of Eli’s hand to his elbow was all it took, his hand seeming to burn into Victor’s skin and melt through his bones, through all of the layers that made Victor who he was, and he'd never felt so visible before. He’d closed his eyes hard, tears falling from his eyelashes and down his cheeks, dripping onto his jeans. He thought he heard a few people say his name.
Pitiful. They pity you. You embarrassed yourself.
“My apologies,” Victor mumbled, not looking up as he slid his chair away from the table. “Please excuse me.”
He felt Eli’s hand slide away as he got out of his chair, and he heard someone curse under their breath as he speed-walked out of the dining room as fast as he could, not bothering to look back. He wasn't even sure if Wick had followed him.
Please be behind me, please, I need you right now. I can't do this by myself.
He heard Emily call after him as he turned the corner, though her voice felt even further away now. Fuzzy and muted and far away.
Why was he so stupid? He shouldn't have accepted the offer. Now he's here, his legs moving as fast as they can down the hall, muscles burning and sore.
He heard Wick bark behind him, hopping towards him in a panic.
The postman slowed, allowing the dog to catch up to him. He felt Wick tug at the cuff of his jeans, a feeble attempt to stop him completely. Victor groaned and stopped to pick up the dog, holding him to his chest. He just needed to get to his room.
Before someone else sees what a mess you are.
The photos of people on the walls of the manor seemed to judge him, eyes taunting and boring into him as he sped down the hallway. Victor looked down at the floor, his heart pounding.
“Wait!”
Shit. Shit shit shit!
Victor ran the rest of the few feet to his room, his hand fumbling to unlock the door. His hand shook violently, his eyesight blurry and Oh, God damn it, I can't get the key in!
Please, please-
The footsteps got louder, closer and more frantic, and Victor thought his heart was going to explode.
PLEASE.
He took a chance and jammed the key in, turning it harshly. He shook at the knob desperately, his entire body pulsing and on fire. He couldn’t breathe. He looked to the side as he got the door to click open, seeing Eli rushing to him, nearly three feet away. His eyes widened and Victor hurriedly slipped inside his room, hearing a small, “Victor, wait,” before slamming the door shut, just as Eli had gotten to it.
Victor locked the door as soon as it was closed, letting out an almost painful breath he didn't even realize he was holding in as leaned against the door and slid down. He hugged Wick tightly to him, and the dog nuzzled into his neck as an attempt to comfort his companion. It didn’t help his heartbeat, but it certainly brought a faint smile to his face nonetheless.
He heard nothing from the outside as he pulled up his legs, trapping Wick between his knees and chest. He rested his head, feeling a tongue lick at his cheek. Victor opened his eyes and frowned at the dog.
“I messed up, didn't I?” he asked, mostly to himself, but Wick shook his head nonetheless. Victor smiled again sadly, closing his eyes and letting his tears flow freely now.
A few minutes had passed when there was a small thump on the other side of the door. Victor lifted his head, eyebrows furrowed in confusion. Wick seemed to have heard it too, his small ears perked up.
“Hey, Victor?” Eli’s muffled voice said, and Victor’s eyes widened. “I don’t know if you’re listening, or if you can hear me, but I'm really sorry. I shouldn't have pressured you to go like that. Especially when I knew Mr. Pierson was there.” The seer paused a moment, seeming to let himself think before continuing. “It wasn’t your fault, either. I hope you’re aware of that.”
Victor stayed quiet, and he heard nothing but the awkward shuffling from the other side. There was another small thump, and then the sound of something sliding down the door.
“I just really looked forward to getting to know you. I guess I messed up, didn't I?” Eli chuckled, and Victor noticed how much closer his voice sounded, feeling that oddly comfortable familiarity again. Victor looked at Wick, who seemed just as shocked as he was.
Wick squirmed out of his lap, his tail wagging wildly as he pressed his paws to the door and looked at Victor, who shook his head, No, are you crazy!?
He looked down at his hands. They were still shaking, and his body felt exhausted and sore. Victor’s head throbbed, but he figured he could just sleep it off, all of it. He'd like to just crash into bed, forgetting about tonight and not think about tomorrow.
Not think about Eli.
But Victor knew no matter what, his mind would wander to the what-ifs. What if I hadn't panicked? What if I started eating with the rest of the survivors? What if Eli and I were to become friends…?
After a few minutes of silence, Eli made another sound outside of his door, and the blonde put his thoughts to a halt. Eli sounded like he was still thinking. Victor could wait.
“But… maybe we could try it again? You know, just us?” Eli asked, hesitant, and Victor’s face burned, his heartbeat quickening with excitement rather than fear. “Or- or Emily could come too! I know you like Emily!” he offered abruptly, his voice rushed, and Victor wondered if he was flustered. He smiled despite the confusion. No- despite the disbelief.
Was Eli really asking him again?
One final look from Wick, and Victor was on his feet before he could stop himself to think it through. He unlocked the door, pulling it open wide. There was a loud thump and suddenly Eli was half inside of his room, laying on the floor. He stared up at Victor awkwardly, a hand to his cloak hood.
Victor thinks he understands.
“Hey,” Eli greeted awkwardly, his cheeks red and voice quiet. “I, uh…”
Nervous?
Victor was.
“You want to have dinner with me? Again?” Victor asked, looking down at the seer, who had a dumb smile on his face now.
“That's what I said.”
Wick ran to Eli, jumping onto him and licking his face. The owl that was usually perched on his shoulder -Victor had recalled her name as Brooke Rose- had hopped onto Eli’s hood and stared down at the dog with those wide, curious eyes. Eli began to laugh and Victor could swear he was going to drop dead.
“Wick!” Victor groaned. “Don't jump!”
“Hey, it's alright,” Eli chuckled as he sat up, Wick snuggled in his lap now. “you don't have to go anywhere, do you?” He played with Wick’s ears, baby-talking the dog. Victor rolled his eyes, raising a hand to his mouth to hide his smile. “My Brooke Rose doesn't mind either, isn't that right?”
Eli looked up at the owl perched atop his head, and she chirped back, fluttering her wings. Eli laughed again.
Victor loved that Eli shared his admiration for animals, and shared the same connection with Brooke Rose as he had with Wick. It was like nothing else he'd ever seen before…
Eli had set Wick on the floor, and Brooke had hopped off of Eli’s head to join the dog. The seer had used the doorframe to help him get back on his feet, staring at Victor with a lingering smile and a nervous chuckle on the tip of his tongue. Victor couldn’t help but look down at the ground, aware of the dumb, big smile on his face, and the red in his cheeks that had began to creep down to his neck again.
It felt different this time, he realized.
It was quiet for a moment, the two standing in Victor’s doorway in a peaceful silence, and the postman wondered what Eli was thinking of. As soon as Victor had looked back up towards him, the seer stepped closer to him, softly taking both of Victor’s hands in his. Victor’s eyes were wide, and as he opened his mouth, Eli cut him off abruptly.
“I’m truly sorry about dinner, Mr. Grantz.” He said, and Victor smiled at the tenderness. The man hesitated for a moment, standing a little straighter before continuing. “Again, I’d really, really like to make it up to you, if you’ll let me.”
Victor nodded, then. Eli’s face lit up at once, giving the blonde another toothy smile. The seer’s gloved thumbs caressed the top of Victor’s hand, and Victor felt the air get thick again. Victor’s heart was beating quickly, fluttering and dancing in his chest. He swallowed a bit before leaning in closer to Eli, and Victor thought he could hear Eli’s breath get shallow. The postman smiled a little at this.
Victor allowed himself to collect his thoughts before leaning in to press a small, tender kiss to Eli’s cheek. He allowed his lips to linger, embracing the burst of confidence he had while it lasted. When he’d pulled back, Eli had a dorky grin and a dust of pink on his cheeks.
“I’d love to have another dinner with you.” Victor had whispered, and Eli nodded. Victor looked down at the ground beneath them, his hands still wrapped in the comfort of Eli Clark. “Just you.”
“Will do, Mr. Grantz.” Eli whispered back, and Victor looked back up at him. “Tomorrow night?”
“Tomorrow night sounds lovely…” The blonde said, stepping away from the seer, his hands sliding away and falling to his sides. “Come get me?”
Eli chuckled. “But of course.”
Eli stepped out into the hallway, and Victor picked up Wick before he could follow the seer back to his room. The two shared a small laugh, and Brooke whistled as she placed herself back on Eli’s shoulder.
“Goodnight, Eli.” Victor said quietly, holding onto his door.
“Goodnight. I'll see you tomorrow night, but hopefully before then as well.” Eli said, bowing his head a little.
Victor blushed and Eli smiled that damn smile back at him before turning to leave. Victor silently watched him retreat down the hall from his doorway, the fluttering in his heart never ceasing.
As soon as Eli turned the corner and disappeared, the postman finally closed his door. He stepped further into his room before setting Wick down, and headed to his bed.
He lay down in stunned silence to recall the events that happened just moments ago, holding his pillow to his chest. He felt so silly and giddy now. The butterflies became more apparent, demanding to be noticed, and for the first time in his life, Victor began to squeal and giggle into his pillow.
Maybe he’d like to be more than friends with Eli Clark.