Archive of Our Own ^beta

“Have you met the new doctor yet?” Kira asked. 

“Yeah, I did. He’s... nice.” Ezri scrunched up her face in that painfully honest way of hers, like even as small a lie as that made her spacesick. 

Kira smiled and took a sip of her drink. “That’s a kind way to say he’s very boring.”

If the Prophets themselves had emerged from the Celestial Temple several years ago just to tell Kira Nerys she would one day be upset at the prospect of Dr. Julian Bashir leaving Deep Space Nine, she might’ve just had a crisis of faith. Yet, here she was on this surprisingly solemn occasion, sitting with Ezri at Quark’s, just to get as many familiar faces in one place as she could. 

Familiar faces were hard to come by, these days, in the couple years since the end of the Dominion War. The few holdouts who had stayed at their posts on the station were even fewer in number. Nog, promising young Lieutenant that he was, had been offered a post on a starship within a year. He had accepted, eager to explore more of the universe beyond the station. Kasidy and Jake had never officially left – they still kept quarters on the station – but after Kasidy had had her baby, the two of them had returned to their respective pursuits in transport and writing, only appearing at the station every few months, and rarely at the same time. The rest of the regular residents and staff had slowly changed over the years as people left and were replaced, to the point where Kira was certain only a handful of people remained from when she was originally stationed here. 

Now, even Julian had left. He was not, as it turned out, leaving for some shiny new Starfleet vessel eager to snap up an accomplished young doctor, but as part of the Federation relief effort on Cardassia, now that Cardassia’s fledgling government had finally re-established friendly relations and treaties with the Federation. Kira could hardly believe it, even after she’d seen him off this morning. 

“Boring?” Quark interjected as he approached their table with more drinks, as shameless about eavesdropping as always “A lot of people are boring, Colonel. I’ve met bulkheads with more personality.”

Kira rolled her eyes, not disagreeing. “So you’ve already met him, too, then?”

“Of course not,” Quark said, incredulous “He’s too boring to come in here. But I’m a bartender, I know things.”

Well, regardless of where Quark had heard it from, he was right. Dr. Veloc was painfully boring. Kira was certain that nobody was imposing their own cultural expectations on the Vulcan, either. He had none of the cool arrogance or subtle humour Kira had come to expect from Vulcan colleagues, only a steady, boring competence, and an even steadier monotone voice. 

“More importantly, though,” Quark continued, sliding into an empty chair and leaning over the table towards Ezri. “How are you holding up?”

“I’m fine.” Ezri fiddled with her drink, spinning her half-empty glass on the tabletop, ice clinking. “It’s probably for the best. I think Julian and I mostly stayed together out of habit. We were both figuring ourselves out, and Julian figured out he’d probably be happier somewhere else.” She shrugged. 

Quark made an offended noise. “Well, clearly, the doctor doesn’t know a good thing when he has it. You can do much better.” 

As Quark rose from the table to return to the bar, a skip in his step at Ezri’s apparent acceptance of her break-up, Kira was still wondering how much Ezri had rehearsed that response to herself. 

~*~

In defiance of how much things had changed, the more things on the station seemed to stay the same. The usual comings and goings of starships of all kinds continued, as well as the many bizarre occurrences that seemed fated to happen as a result. 

One week, a subspace anomaly somehow interrupted the regular function of every universal translator operating on the station, resulting in an all-out brawl on the Promenade when it turned out the Bajoran phrase for excuse me unfortunately sounded a lot like an Andorian insult. Kira couldn’t help but wonder if it would have even reached this point if Miles and Odo were still here, despite her confidence in her current chief engineer and security team. 

The next week, a previously unknown virus swept through the station, confining nearly half the senior staff to quarters and temporarily shutting down every business on the Promenade. It was thankfully solved in only three days, Dr. Veloc effortlessly competent and apparently as immune to the virus as he was to the concept of humour. 

Between the usual peril and Kira’s role as head of the station, she hardly saw Ezri outside of a professional capacity in the month following Julian’s departure. Her usual sunny disposition had mellowed somewhat, but in Kira’s estimation seemed to taking the whole thing quite well. 

That was, until she had spotted Ezri all alone, gazing out of one of the portholes on the upper level of the Promenade. Kira was on her way back to her quarters for the night, foregoing the turbolift for a while in the hopes of catching a glimpse of the Celestial Temple beyond the station on the longer walk back. It seemed as though Ezri was of the same mind, staring quietly at the stars in the direction of the wormhole. 

In the dimmer lights of the station’s night cycle, the soft glow of the stars outside the porthole lit Ezri’s face. Pale and round, it looked almost like a new Bajoran moon. Kira cringed inwardly at the cliché. Kira wasn’t one for metaphor herself – despite her earring forever signalling her place among the artists’ class, Kira was no poet – but comparing beautiful people to the moon was about as worn-out a comparison on Bajor as proclaiming roses to be the red and violet to be blue on Earth. 

Still, looking at Ezri, even just in profile, Kira saw something as ancient as the moon there now. Despite the age of the Dax symbiont, Kira had always thought of Ezri as young, though she was often reminded of the true gulf in their experiences when the previous Dax hosts asserted themselves more than usual. Right now, Ezri looked somehow both unfathomably old and impossibly young as she gazed out the porthole, still oblivious to Kira’s presence. 

“What’s wrong?” Kira found herself asking before she could stop herself, her voice as crude a tool as a dulled blade. She may not be one for delicacy, but Kira wasn’t going to sit on her hands when her friends needed someone, as Ezri clearly did. 

Ezri visibly startled, as if she’d forgotten where she was until Kira had gracelessly dragged her back down from orbit. Her usual little smile reappeared on her face, but it didn’t reach her eyes. She forced out a soft laugh, and waved a hand in nervous dismissal. “Oh, nothing’s the matter. Just got lost there for a bit.”

Kira knew her disbelieving look must’ve been withering, as Ezri’s smile instantly turned sheepish. 

“I am fine. I just have a lot to think about.”

“Yeah?” Kira probed, and was suddenly hit with the memory of Ezri doing the same. It seemed like forever ago now, just after the end of the war when Odo had left the station, and Kira had thrown herself a little too far into her new role to avoid thinking about it too hard. Yet there Ezri had been, standing opposite from Kira’s desk, patiently extracting all Kira’s thoughts from her head without Kira realizing until much later. Ezri’s words were honed blades, easily cutting away at all the distractions until only the problem at hand remained, unable to be avoided. 

Ezri sighed a little, shoulders falling from a sudden loss in tension as she turned back to the stars. “Just, I got message from Julian. I told him we were still friends when he... left. And I’m glad he considers me his friend enough to send me updates, because I did genuinely mean it and want to hear from him, but,” Ezri took a breath, looking back at Kira with a sad smile “I guess I wasn’t really as over it as I thought I was. It just took me by surprise.”

Kira didn’t even have a chance to ask another question, as it seemed like a seal had been broken, and words kept tumbling from Ezri’s mouth. “And it’s not even jealousy, or... pining,” Ezri cringed at the word, like it grated on her therapist’s sensibilities to use a word from a cheesy holonovel in this context “I’m happy for him, and if he wasn’t happy and decided it was all a mistake and came back, I’m not sure I’d even want things to go back to the way they were.”

“It just made me realize that it really wasn’t about me at all. About me, Ezri,” she continued, crossing her arms tightly in front of her and puffing out her cheeks. “I was just a second chance at Jadzia. Act fast on this once-in-a-lifetime opportunity!” Ezri’s voice had taken on a nasal quality, her impression obviously of Quark even if it sounded nothing like him. 

“It’s not even fair to Julian to make that comparison.” Ezri dropped her arms, beginning to pace slightly between the porthole and the railing that blocked the way to the main level of the Promenade below. “He knew I wasn’t Jadzia, but Ezri. A different person. And he waited long enough to make sure that he liked this new person.” Ezri shook her head. “I just didn’t know who Ezri was yet.”

Ezri finally turned back to Kira, speaking to her directly. “Do you know when I told him when I first arrived back on the station? I told him that if Worf hadn’t shown up, it would’ve been him.” Ezri scoffed self-deprecatingly. “First of all, what kind of person – trained to be a counsellor – says that to someone still grieving a friend? Second of all, I didn’t even know if that was true. I could barely distinguish my previous host’s feelings from my own at that point! All I knew is that I had all these memories and that I liked Julian a lot, and didn’t think hard enough about where it was coming from.”

Ezri stopped to gather herself and, looking at Kira again, seemed to register that she had been speaking to another person and not herself. The sheepish smile returned to her face. “Sorry about that. That really should’ve been directed at a therapist.”

“I don’t mind,” Kira said truthfully, trying to put as much reassurance in her smile as she could “It looks like you needed that. Though a professional might not be a bad idea either.”

“Easier said than done.” Ezri laughed and rolled her eyes a bit, clearly comforted enough to be playful “Kind of hard to be my own therapist. I know Chief Medical Officers need to have some psychology training to function as a counsellor in the absence of one, but,” Ezri winced a bit “Dr. Veloc is only a slight improvement over the only other therapist being my ex-boyfriend. And holo-therapy is so... impersonal.”

“Well,” Kira offered tentatively “I really don’t mind. If you need a friend to talk to, I’m here. My advice might be a little rusty and definitely not professional, but maybe a little more personal.”

Ezri brightened a bit. “I’d like that.” Whatever Ezri would’ve said next was cut off by a yawn, which turned into a tired, breathy laugh. “And I promise to take you up on it after I get some sleep.”

Ezri smiled and turned to leave, not before calling out a quick “Goodnight, Nerys.”

Kira stayed behind, turning back towards the porthole just in time to watch the Celestial Temple open up to admit a departing vessel to the Gamma Quadrant.

~*~

It was scarcely a week later when Kira received her own communication from Julian, albeit in a more professional capacity. 

“I thought the Federation had already sent replicators to Cardassia?”

“Yes, they did,” Julian said over the viewscreen, waving his hands in a way Kira had learned meant Well, actually “But only replicators for general domestic use. Food, basic tools and supplies – that sort of thing. Right now, there are only two medical-grade replicators on the entire planet, and they’re both at my hospital in Lakat.”

It didn’t escape Kira’s notice that barely a month on the planet and Julian was settled enough for it to be his hospital. “And standard replicators can’t be modified for medical use?”

“Not in a way that’s practical on a large scale,” Julian sighed, scrubbing his hands briefly over his face as if trying to wipe away weeks of fatigue “Truthfully, we only have the second replicator at the hospital because I let Garak fiddle with mine for about a week until it finally let us get controlled substances out of it. I’m stuck with standard rations when I’m at home now, but we’ve dedicated the second one to replicating medications needed elsewhere and shipping them out of Lakat. It works for now, but transportation on Cardassia isn’t as reliable as I’d like it to be yet.”

“So Garak’s still around?” Kira asked despite already knowing the answer, just to see Julian smile and squirm a bit in his seat, embarrassed. 

“Yes, very much,” he confirmed “Hard to get rid of, even. Not that I’m complaining.”

“Well, I’m glad to hear everything worked out,” Kira said. Despite everything, she found she meant it. “So, what did you want me to do about the replicators? Did you want me to talk to the Federation?” Kira found she had gotten better at the whole diplomacy thing over the years, but she wasn’t sure she had that kind of sway. 

“No, I don’t think that would do anything,” Julian shook his head “The Federation has eagerly promised to provide Cardassia with all the medical relief it needs, as long as it’s coming directly from them. Officially, it’s because the Federation wants a gradual transition from Federation to Cardassian leadership in the relief effort to make sure Cardassian doctors can operate Federation medical replicators – which isn’t patronizing at all – but unofficially, well,” Julian gave a tight smile “Theoretically, medical replicators can be used to create biological weapons, and apparently we don’t trust even an utterly decimated Cardassia with that power.”

Kira took the hint. “So you’re asking Bajor instead?”

“Yes, well, it’s a bit of a long shot,” Julian admitted, deflating a bit after his earlier ramble “But Bajor isn’t yet an official member of the Federation, so you could provide separate aid. I know the Federation provided Bajor with a lot of medical replicators after the occupation, when the need was greatest. Demand for medication should’ve returned to more predicable, non-emergency levels by now, so I was hoping there might be a few redundant units that could be spared.”

Kira could see the sense in that. She knew that, despite the thousands of Bajorans that had died from direct violence during the occupation, they were far outnumbered by those who had died of disease. Various viruses and bacteria had torn through the Bajoran population during those times, when the people were malnourished and often crammed in close quarters, whether it be in labour camps or rebel bases. They hadn’t had the supplies for the medicine and sanitation needed to get the spread under control until well into their recovery phase. 

Kira knew Cardassia must be going through much the same thing now, with families still huddled in temporary shelters with limited rations, waiting as their communities were, ever so slowly, being rebuilt from the ground up. Despite all that she still held the Cardassia government in contempt for all they’d done, she wouldn’t wish her same childhood on the citizens of any planet. Especially not when she herself remembered the terror of the bombardment, taking cover from the explosions in that basement with the Cardassian resistance. 

“I can talk to the ministers about it,” Kira said, hastily adding as she saw Julian break out into a relieved grin “but I can’t make any promises. I can only promise to make the best case I can for you.”

“That’s all I ask,” Julian replied, the relief on his face unchanged “I appreciate it, Colonel, I mean it.”

Kira dismissed the thanks and the title with a quick shake of her head. “You said it was a long shot, but I think you can be a little optimistic about it. The Bajoran government knows a bit about the importance of frontier medicine.”

Julian visibly winced at her choice of words, but at least had the good grace to huff a short laugh at his own expense. “Yes, well, frontier is perhaps too romantic a word for –” Julian made a vague hand gesture to the general state of things. He swallowed hard. “War’s an ugly business.”

“Don’t I know it,” Kira agreed ruefully. “I actually have a meeting with some officials about how current exports might be changing under Federation membership. I can bring it up then.” 

Julian thanked her again, exhaustion clearly settling into his posture. Still, he looked more content than she’d seen him in a long time. 

“I’ll leave you to get some sleep, Doctor,” she said, hoping putting enough emphasis on his title would encourage him to take his duty of care seriously, even when applied to himself. “Give Garak my best next time you see him.”

Whatever Julian would’ve said was interrupted by the sound of a familiar smug voice coming from somewhere off-screen. “Why, thank you. My dear, do give the Colonel my best in return.”

Julian rolled his eyes, apparently familiar enough with his companion’s eavesdropping, but his cheeks still darkened slightly with embarrassment. “Well, you heard him.” He said awkwardly. “I haven’t heard from her since I left, but do give Ezri my love as well.” Julian cringed. “Not that kind of love. Give her my... friendship.” He looked like he was wishing very hard for his rationed electricity to run out and cut off the transmission early. “Please tell Ezri I said hello.”

“I will,” Kira promised, knowing she probably wouldn’t. At least not right away. 

Julian flashed a grateful smile, and the viewscreen was blank once more. 

~*~

Meeting up with Ezri outside of their duties turned out to be harder than Kira anticipated. It wasn’t even just their respective busy schedules anymore, though it played a part. 

No, the problem was that Kira was now second-guessing all her prospective plans, despite having been friends with Ezri for years at this point, about as long as she’d known Jadzia. Ezri’s words from the other day, though directed at Julian, nagged at the back of Kira’s mind. 

Though Kira hadn’t originally been a fan of the holosuites, between her outings with Jadzia, and her time with various friends at Vic Fontaine’s, the idea of them had eventually grown on her. She’d even invited Ezri along for a few over the years, including an instructional holo for a traditional Bajoran meditation technique, which she had thought Ezri might appreciate adding to her available therapeutic techniques. 

Now, though? The thought of inviting Ezri gave her pause. Was she inviting Ezri along because she knew it was something Ezri would be interested in, or only because she remembered it was something Jadzia would’ve loved? Even so, Ezri did have Jadzia’s memories, parts of her personality, and had acquired some of her tastes when she had joined with Dax. How was she to know where Erzi ended and Jadzia began? 

The same thoughts applied to all of her default recreational activities. Whether Ezri actually enjoyed springball, or simply had enough muscle memory from Jadzia to keep up, Kira couldn’t say either. 

It really wasn’t about me at all, Kira could hear Ezri saying in her mind. I was just a second chance at Jadzia.

The worst part was, Kira couldn’t even comfort herself that her feelings about Jadzia and Ezri, as twisted together in her mind as they were, were at least only platonic. Kira would be lying if she said she’d had no attraction for Jadzia, or that she had never considered pursuing something decidedly not platonic with her late friend. It was easy to like Jadzia, and just as easy to love her, if you allowed yourself to. With her effortless competence and infectious energy, she was the kind of person you could follow anywhere. 

It has never really worked out that way, though. Even assuming Jadzia could have felt the same, they never seemed to be looking at the same time. Soon enough, they were both in long-term relationships, and then not longer after, Jadzia had passed. 

Sometimes, Kira thought about what could’ve been, in different circumstances, but it wasn’t something she dwelt on. Mourning a good friend was hard enough without also mourning a relationship that had never been. She was a grown adult with some perspective, she wasn’t about to pull up a chair to wallow with Julian and Quark while two good friends of theirs married each other. Kira had been happy for Jadzia, and missed her terribly, but she had no regrets. 

Kira hadn’t pulled up that chair to gossip about Ezri with Julian and Quark, either, when the two of them were already commenting on her attractiveness and speculating about her availability when she’d hardly had a chance to settle in on the station. Looking back on it now, the two of them had been shameless. Kira thought, privately, that Ezri had let Julian off the hook too easily for his behaviour in those early days, but even she had to admit that Julian, in the end, had not been nearly as bad as Quark, who still seemed to be carrying a torch for Ezri after everything. In a vacuum, Kira could maybe appreciate the dedication, but in the absence of holosuites and springball, Quark’s persistence made Kira and Ezri’s default hangout spot at his bar all the more difficult. 

“It’s on the house,” Quark said with a dismissive wave of his hand as Ezri reached for the thumbprint reader, the bartender holding the device out of her reach. Ezri rolled her eyes, annoyed, but clearly not annoyed enough to just stand up from her seat and take it. Quark’s answering smile was smug. 

“Not for you, though, Colonel,” Quark hastily appended, presenting the thumbprint reader with a flourish to where Kira was seated on the opposite side of the table. It was Kira’s turn to roll her eyes, but she dutifully pressed her thumb to the reader, authorizing the payment for her own drink. 

With another pointed smile at Ezri, Quark sauntered off back behind the bar. Kira couldn’t help but scoff, even though she knew she wouldn’t ever be out of the Ferengi’s earshot in here. 

“Free drinks?” Kira shook her head incredulously “He must really be desperate.”

Ezri tried to smile but it came out more of a grimace. “I only let him get away with it because of how much latinum he still owes Jadzia from Tongo.”

Kira laughed. “If I know anything about Jadzia, you should be getting free drinks for at least a few years until that debt is repaid.”

“I’ll just have to string him along until then,” Ezri replied, her smile a bit more genuine as she took a sip of her drink. 

“He’s at least worth keeping around for that,” Kira agreed, glad to see Ezri’s spirits had improved enough to joke “For the drinks, and to remind you that your taste in men could be worse.”

Ezri groaned, setting down her glass on the table. “And I barely even have a taste in men to begin with.” Kira briefly worried if her comment had hit too closely to a sore spot, but Ezri’s frustration seemed to be a little too exaggerated to be anything but playful.

“That’s what made it so hard to separate my feelings for Julian from Jadzia’s” Ezri continued, rambling “I couldn’t remember the last time I was genuinely interested in a man, so I just assumed it was just Jadzia. Turns out it was all me.”

Kira smiled sympathetically, thinking of a few questionable choices of her own. “At least we can clear Jadzia’s name.”

“Hardly,” Ezri was grinning in earnest now, giving her abdomen a firm pat as if satisfied after a filling meal “There are definitely worse exes than Julian in here, and definitely even more shameful crushes.” Ezri’s expression fell suddenly, her mouth twisting into a frown. “Which isn’t that hard, really. Like I’ve said, Julian’s a good guy. We just really weren’t what the other person needed, you know?”

Kira took a swig of her drink to give herself some time to answer, and ended up emptying her glass. As if on cue, Quark reappeared at their table before Kira could speak. 

“Anything else I can get you ladies?” Quark asked, smiling first at Ezri before looking at Kira’s newly empty glass. 

“Yes, actually,” Ezri piped up, flashing Quark a very deliberate smile “Since you’re here, I think I’d like to try a glass of whatever Kira just had next, please. It looked delicious.” Ezri rubbed a hand on the side of her own glass, still over half full, and shot Kira a conspiratorial smile. 

A minute later Quark had returned with the drink, once again dismissing Ezri’s halfhearted attempts to pay. As soon as Quark left, Ezri’s face broke into a grin as she slid the drink over to Kira. “And he wonders why he always lost to me at Tongo.”

Accepting the drink, Kira couldn’t help but be a little bit charmed. It seemed as though falling in love with Ezri could be just as easy as falling in love with Jadzia. And if Ezri’s comments about her own taste in men were any indication, Kira might even have a chance. 

That warm feeling was quickly replaced with cold shame, Kira catching herself thinking of her friend’s former host instead of the person sitting across from her. She really wasn’t much better than Quark, after all. 

~*~

 “Are you gonna change, or should I?” Vic joked, waving a hand between himself and Ezri. 

Ezri had struck first tonight, inviting Kira for an evening at Vic’s lounge and saving Kira from making the choice herself. Ezri had foregone her usual party dress for a simple black tux, contrasting nicely with Kira’s own red dress. 

“I’m only asking because you’re threatening my livelihood, here,” Vic continued with a sly smile, leading them to a nearby table to sit down “Ain’t nobody paying attention to me once they figure out how good a tux can look.”

“Flatterer,” Ezri dismissed with a smile, tugging slightly at her own sleeves before settling in her chair. 

“Still, you’re both a sight for sore eyes,” Vic looked around the lounge with a frown “Not as many familiar faces around here these days. How’s everyone been? How’s Julian doing?”

“Ask him yourself,” Ezri said “He should be visiting the station next week. I’ll tell him to come by, but I don’t think I’ll have to remind him.”

Kira startled at the information, missing the rest of Ezri and Vic’s small talk as they moved to the topic of tonight’s set list. Of course, Kira had already known about Julian’s upcoming visit to the station. After over a month of informal squabbling, some relevant ministers and prominent doctors were finally having a second formal meeting to discuss the proposed donation of surplus replicators to Cardassia. Julian had been invited to represent the Federation’s relief effort, though Kira was sure he would’ve shown up on the station to plead his case anyway, formal invitation or no. 

Kira hadn’t told Ezri of the upcoming visit, uncertain of her reaction. She’d seemed to have been doing much better lately, but that didn’t mean seeing her ex-partner in person wouldn’t be difficult. Kira had been procrastinating telling her, half-hoping some convenient mission off the station would come up that would be appropriate to send Ezri on, avoiding any confrontations altogether. Unsurprisingly, those opportunities were few and far between for a counsellor. 

As Vic walked off with some promises to play a few of Ezri’s favourites, Kira cut right to the chase. “You knew Julian was coming to the station?”

“He told me last time we spoke,” Ezri admitted. She didn’t seem sad, or even nervous, at the prospect of the visit, but wore her patented not angry, just disappointed expression she saved mostly for when her colleagues ignored her counselling. “Were you planning on telling me?”

“I would’ve, eventually,” Kira said, feeling suddenly like a child being chewed out for a misdeed “You deserved to know. I just wasn’t sure how you were going to take it.”

Ezri’s answering smile was small but sincere. “I appreciate the thought, but I’m fine.” It sounded like she was. 

“I think it helped that we eased back into regular contact in a professional capacity,” Ezri continued, smile growing “It turns out that in a culture obsessed with always projecting an image of strength, therapy as a profession is basically non-existent. Julian was looking for some advice and contacts to help the people down there.” She shrugged. “And now we’re in a place again where he can send me the occasional picture of the Cardassian potted plants he’s barely keeping alive without me having a breakdown.”

That forced a laugh out of Kira. “Definitely worth patching up your relationship for.”

“Oh, easily,” Ezri agreed with a laugh of her own. “Makes me feel better about my poor plants.”

At the natural lull in their conversation, Kira registered as Vic’s previous upbeat jazz number transitioned to a different, slower song. Ezri sat up straighter, clearly noticing as well. Her expression brightened. 

“Oh, I love this one,” she said in pleasant surprise, as if she hadn’t just requested her favourites from Vic five minutes ago. She bit her lip, all nervous energy. “Would you want to dance a bit?”

Kira let out a few half-hearted dismissals about not being a very good dancer, but chose not to argue beyond that. It was an argument, like most others, Kira could easily win if she threw all her determination into it, but found that she had no desire to. Soon enough, they found themselves in the empty section of the room in front of the stage. 

It was awkward, at first, as they stumbled through where to put their hands. Remembering her few dances with Odo in the holosuite, Kira instinctively reached out her hand to place on Ezri’s shoulder. Ezri, seemingly acting on a similar instinct, moved to do the same. Seeing this, they corrected their positions at the same time, ending up with both of them reaching for the other’s waist instead. 

Meeting each other’s eyes, Kira and Ezri laughed, dispelling the nervous energy with it. 

Even with Kira’s height advantage, they ended up with Ezri leading the dance, when it became clear that she was the more experienced of the two of them. 

“Where did you learn this kind of dance?” Kira asked when they finally settled into the movement, fighting the urge not to look at her own feet. 

She had seen Jadzia dance before, of course, but never like this. No careful patterns of foot movements, no stiff posture, no delicate touch at her partner’s waist. Jadzia was a person of wild dances, the kind where movements were determined in the moment based on the feel of the music and the colour of her mood. Kira pictured instead Lela Dax, the legislator, dancing just like this at a formal event, or perhaps even Emony, the gymnast, naturally taking to various dance styles due to their similarity to her profession. 

Instead of launching into the expected rambling tale of the Dax symbiont’s cumulative experience with dancing, Ezri gave a shy smile and admitted, “My mother made us – me and my brothers – take lessons when we were young.” She sighed and shook her head, as if she couldn’t think of anything more unnecessary. “An important skill to have, if you were going to take up the family mining business. Which is less about drilling and more about going to all the right events and making all the right connections.”

“Glad to help you put all those lessons to work,” Kira laughed at Ezri’s playfully sour expression. “The head of a space station is a pretty influential acquaintance to make. I’d say you succeeded.”

“All part of my business plan.” Ezri winked jokingly, not quite managing to keep her other eye open, which somehow made it more endearing. 

Even though the slowness of the song meant Ezri could’ve gotten away with only some gentle swaying,  she still lead Kira effortlessly across the dance floor in a practised path. Kira had never thought of Ezri as incompetent. If anything, Kira had a deep respect for Ezri’s counselling work, which required a skillset so far removed from Kira’s own. Still, it was hard to reconcile the image of her friend and the smartly dressed person expertly leading her around with a hand at her waist. It was all Ezri, but an Ezri she had yet to meet.

As the song trailed off, Ezri slowed them to a stop. However, neither of them moved to disengage. Kira felt Ezri’s fingers shift slightly against the fabric of her dress, but Ezri didn’t pull back. Instead, they simply stared at each other, waiting for something to happen. 

Something eventually did. The air in the lounge was pierced with a sudden quick burst of drums, the rest of the instruments joining in as the band transitioned to a high-energy number. 
Spell broken, the two retreated from their embrace and back towards their table, where they settled in for the evening. 

They ordered dinner, chatted about the station goings-on, and eventually said their goodnights through tired smiles. Kira waved Ezri off with a promise to get together again soon, but remained at their table for a few extra minutes. 

Ezri’s chair didn’t have a chance to grow cold before Vic slid sideways into it. He gave Kira a knowing look, but whatever wisdom he had been about to impart was abruptly cut off by Kira’s exaggerated sigh. 

“I know, Vic,” Kira said flatly, “you don’t have to tell me.”

“If you already know so much,” Vic teased “Then why don’t you do something about it, huh?”

“It’s...” Kira searched blindly for a word big enough for the feeling, but fell short “... complicated.”

“Of course it is,” Vic agreed easily “That just means you gotta be upfront and honest with each other.”

“Upfront and honest,” Kira scoffed, but she couldn’t keep the smile curling at the corner of her lips “Is that what you were doing when you convinced Odo I was a hologram?”

“Desperate measures,” Vic replied, unfazed “I trust you slightly more than Odo to actually get things done.” He waved a finger in mock disappointment. “Don’t give me a reason to reevaluate that assessment.”

“No promises,” Kira said, making a decision as she finally rose from the table and exited the holosuite. 

~*~

Caught up in her duties running the station, Kira hadn’t been able to greet Julian at the airlock, but was happy to catch him wandering the Promenade on her way to lunch. It was almost as if nothing had changed at all, and Julian were simply off on his break after a busy morning at the station infirmary. 

Except, things had changed. Though Julian still wore his Starfleet uniform, there were still a few reminders of his change in post. For one, even from across the Promenade, Kira thought she could see that nearly imperceptible lustre of skin that had seen real daylight, rather than the station’s closest simulation. His hair was longer, too, threatening to cover his ears. Julian also walked differently. Just months off the station had transformed his gait from the purposeful movement of someone who knew exactly where they were going and barely registering how they were getting there, to the more tentative movement of someone drinking in the details of the station around them. 

“Julian! Doctor!” Kira called across the usual crowd of people milling around the Promenade, switching to Julian’s title when his name wasn’t enough to break him out of his rediscovery of the station. When Julian finally turned around, suddenly alert and looking for where he was needed, his face split into a grin when he spotted Kira. “Missed this place that much already?”

“Terribly,” Julian answered, with no hint of a joke, as he pulled her into a hug as she approached. 

“Where’s your other half?” Kira prodded when they separated, moving into step beside Julian as he continued his slow lap of the Promenade. 

“I think the expression people usually use is better half.”

“But I haven’t decided yet which one of you is the better half.”

That got a laugh out of Julian, who returned to Kira’s original question. “Garak’s still on Cardassia. Not to say he doesn’t miss the station a bit, but, well,” Julian gave a slight shrug “He has a lot of lost time to make up for, still.”

“Which is exactly why I thought I’d find him here with you.” As many years as the Cardassian had spent in exile, Kira remembered almost as many of him dancing around the Chief Medical Officer. Over years of shameless bickering over lunch, Garak’s interest had been obvious to anyone familiar with Cardassian culture, which evidently hadn’t included Julian. Kira wondered if, in hindsight, Julian realized how many Bajoran residents of the station has assumed he’d been in a relationship with Garak for years. 

“It’s only for a few days,” Julian said, as if Kira needed to be assured that a hardened ex-spy wasn’t going to shake apart in the absence of his partner “He’ll be fine.”

“Have you met up with Ezri yet?”

“Yes, yes, she met me when I docked.” Julian sighed, but there was still a smile on his face as he slowly shook his head. “Can we talk about something else besides my many relationships? Please tell me you’ve met someone else since I left that we can talk about instead.”

Kira hesitated a second too long trying to think of a clever retort, which was all Julian needed to pounce on the opening with a grin. “Is there someone?”

“There really isn’t,” Kira said flatly, leaving no opening. Julian shot her a skeptical look. “Even if there was, you’re the last person I would ask for advice. No offence.”

“None taken,” Julian laughed, even as he winced a bit. “I suppose that’s fair. Though I do seem to have figured things out in the end.”

“Fine,” Kira relented. “In that case, you’re allowed to pass on one piece of advice.”

“Thank you,” Julian said with an exaggeratedly gracious nod of his head. “My advice would be that no matter how much you might think that it’s too late, it probably isn’t, and you should try anyway.”

Of course, Julian’s words easily applied to his own recent experience, but Kira looked at the smug smile on his face and was certain that, somehow, he knew. The bastard. 

“Have you run into your successor yet?” Kira asked instead, rapidly switching tracks. She knew Julian had already met Dr. Veloc before he’d left the station, since he’d had to make sure the new doctor was up to speed on all the patients being transferred to his care, but wondered if it were possible for Dr. Veloc’s black hole of a personality to quash even Julian’s boundless enthusiasm. 

Apparently not. Julian’s expression brightened, easily sidetracked as he jumped into a rambling explanation of the Chief Medical Officer’s ongoing projects on the station. Kira let him, making only the requisite noises of assent and dissent needed to keep Julian talking as they continued their walk. This left Kira’s mind free to dwell on the harrowing thought that somehow, Julian Bashir had gotten everything figured out before her. 

~*~

Resolved to tell Ezri how she felt, lest Vic get impatient enough to actually do something himself or Julian somehow get even more smug, Kira planned. In a week, the two of them would have dinner at a Bajoran fusion restaurant that had opened on the Promenade about a month ago. What other culture the food was a fusion of was anybody’s guess, but Kira was excited to try it. If all went well, they would finish the evening with a walk along the upper level of the Promenade, where fewer people might be around to observe whatever came next. 

All Kira had to do was wait for Ezri to return to the station, an opportunity to leave having, of course, immediately popped up as soon as her ex had left the station. Ezri was attending a conference for counsellors focused on the aftermath of the Dominion War. Kira wasn’t familiar with specifics, but she knew there had been a few similar conferences over the years as various worlds healed from the damage done and the lives lost. This year’s conference was noteworthy, in that it would be the first to include professionals from Cardassia, in part thanks to Ezri and Julian’s advocacy. 

Ezri had been scheduled to return the day before their planned outing, but it seemed the station’s usual bad luck had other plans for her shuttle. The shuttle didn’t arrive in the morning like it was supposed to, and when the rest of the day passed without a hint of it, Kira began to grow worried. 

The next day, Kira was sitting in her office, worrying Sisko’s baseball between her hands and trying not to look the time, when she heard the commotion coming from outside. Kira burst into Ops, just in time to see Ezri’s shuttle on the viewscreen, clearly battered but somehow intact, as the pilot voiced their request for the station to beam their injured to the infirmary before docking. 

After Kira approved the request, something like instinct and maybe a bit more like faith had her hurrying to the infirmary, rather than to the airlock where she knew the shuttle would be docking. 

The infirmary, with its dimmed lights and carpeted floors, always seem to absorb all sound and give the patients inside as much calm as possible, but Kira still felt self-conscious of her heavy footfalls as she marched to the back. To her relief, the ward wasn’t packed with the critically wounded. Instead, there were three cots set up. The two closest to the door were two humanoids in civilian dress Kira didn’t recognize, who appeared to have only superficial damage. Dr. Veloc was currently running a dermal regenerator over one of their forearms with calm efficiency, rapidly disappearing a purpling bruise. 

On the last bed, just as Kira had predicted, was Ezri. Her injuries seemed just as superficial, with a bruise of her own forming on the side of her face, mixing with her spots. She hadn’t seen Kira come in yet, and was looking around and fidgeting impatiently, clearly aware her injuries wouldn’t warrant an extended stay. Kira approached Ezri’s bed, causing Ezri to immediately straighten and still. 

“Colonel!” she said, all business, as she immediately launched into a detailed account of her departure from the conference. Apparently, despite the Maquis having formally disbanded, they still had some remaining sympathizers and former members none too happy with Cardassia being included at the conference, especially one focused on the aftermath of a war in which they were the aggressors. A small ship had attacked Ezri’s shuttle and their Warp drive had been disabled in the skirmish, forcing them to limp home at impulse speeds. 

Kira was obviously interested in Ezri’s account of events – she would need a full report later, and go over what a resurgence of Maquis activity might mean for station security – but right at this moment she had bigger worries. She set her hands gently on Ezri’s upper arms, careful of any unseen injuries. 

“At ease, Lieutenant,” Kira assured her, the formal title delivered with a teasing edge “Are you okay, Ezri?”

Ezri deflated suddenly, letting out a long breath like a spent balloon. “I’m fine, Nerys.” She gave a self-deprecating smile. “I was slammed against a bulkhead when we were attacked. I only bruised my face a bit, and maybe my pride.”

Overwhelmed with relief and waning adrenaline, Kira was just as surprised as Ezri when she used her grip on Ezri’s arms to pull her into a sudden kiss. The kiss didn’t linger, just a firm press of closed lips, like a quick jolt of a defibrillator to keep Kira’s heart beating. When Kira pulled back, still gripping Ezri’s arms, Ezri’s eyes were wide with surprise. 

“I wasn’t – I didn’t mean to –” Kira tried to vain to communicate all that she was thinking, finishing with a frustrated noise instead. When Ezri’s face suddenly fell, though, she rushed to get the rest of her thought out. “I mean, I was saving that until tonight. If you wanted. I’m sorry if –” 

It was Ezri’s turn to cut off Kira’s thought. “You don’t have to apologize, Nerys.” Ezri laughed, then, bright and relieved. “God, you really don’t have to apologize.”

It was then Ezri shook off Kira’s hold of her arms, only to bring her own hands up to cradle Kira’s jaw, pulling Kira down to her level. This kiss was allowed to linger. Instead of a sudden shock to the system, it was sustained by the energy saved over years, Kira trying to communicate the enormity of it with every press of their mouths together. 

The soft sound of someone clearing their throat beside them forced it to come to an end, the two jolting apart to find Dr. Veloc standing beside them, dermal regenerator in hand. 

“Excuse me,” the doctor said mildly, inserting himself between them to begin tending to Ezri’s bruise “This will only take a moment.”

And in that moment, Kira wished the carpet would swallow her whole, but the doctor’s lack of reaction was quick to temper any embarrassment. Instead, she shot a shy smile Ezri’s way over Dr. Veloc’s shoulder, which Ezri returned with her own, eyes sparkling. 

The doctor finished in no time at all, leaving promptly after informing Ezri that her face might feel a bit tender for a few more hours, but that there would be no lasting damage. Looking around the room, Kira was surprised to discover the other two patients had already been discharged, leaving Kira and Ezri alone. 

“So,” Kira began hesitantly. What was there really to say, after all that? “Would you still be interested in dinner, later?” The desperation that had forced her into action earlier had passed, but the air between them was still electric, charged with possibility. 

“I would like that very much,” Ezri said earnestly and in that moment, if Kira could be forgiven for the cliché, her smiling face outshone all of Bajor’s moons. 

~*~

It had been nearly a year since Julian had left the station when Kira received a formal letter from him. Sitting at her desk going over cargo manifests, Kira was eager for a break and opened it as soon as she received the notification. 

The communication opened with an attached image of some familiar faces. It was a formal photograph, the kind you would see in an official document or in a textbook. Julian and Garak were seated next to one another, backs straight and mouths pressed into closed-lipped smiles. They were both dressed in formal robes in the current Cardassian style, though Julian’s hair, having clearly grown quite a bit since Kira had last seen him, had been pulled into a small – and distinctly un-Cardassian – ponytail. 

However, more surprising than Julian’s hairstyle, was the unfamiliar face in the foreground. Seated on Julian’s lap was a Cardassian child, probably no older than seven. He was staring at the direction of the camera with a tilted head and bright, curious eyes. 

Curious herself, Kira proceeded to the text below. The message began with a short greeting in Kardasi that Kira wasn’t familiar with, followed by the rest written in Standard. 

Hope all is well on the station! I’m sending this message because today is actually a state holiday on Cardassia. The closest approximation in Standard would probably be Family Day, though I imagine Elim would complain about the nuance lost in translation. To try and do it a bit more justice, the word denotes family but also has the connotation of family as a kind of nation-building, where the family unit is building block with which Cardassia itself is built. I’m probably still missing some meaning there as well, but my Kardasi is not what it should be. I have the most infuriating teacher. 

The point of the day is to take time to reflect on the importance of family, and the custom is to send a picture of your family to your friends and acquaintances, to keep track of how it’s grown and changed. I’m sure a lot of people today are sending photographs with generations of extended family all living in the same house, even though big families like that are unfortunately more rare these days. Maybe it’s just my Federation brainwashing, but I’m more than proud of the three we have here. 

(As a side note, Elim was scandalized when I informed him this tradition is almost exactly like the Earth custom of sending Christmas cards with a family photo on them. He’s been researching the holiday and the Christian faith for the past week, incredulous about the bizarre things human teach their children to believe. I think he’s frustrated that I haven’t argued with him about it, for my family has never celebrated Christmas and I have no need to jump to its defence. He doesn’t know how to enjoy a conversation without manufacturing an argument out of it, and it’s deeply satisfying to watch him flounder a bit.)

As you know, orphans don’t have much status on Cardassia, with how much they emphasize the importance of maintaining a biological family line. After the war, though, things have started to change. There are too many orphans now, and too many parents who have lost children, to keep clinging to the old ways. 

I’d honestly never thought I would ever become a father. Not that I don’t like kids, just that I could never quite picture it in my head. I knew Elim felt similarly, though perhaps for different reasons. Elim accuses me of having a soft heart and little impulse control, and I have to admit he may be right, as there were only so many house calls I could make to the children at the local orphanage before I started to second-guess my previous thoughts on parenthood. There is still so much destruction on Cardassia, but we’re lucky enough to have food enough to eat and a spare room – might as well share that with one of those who need it the most. 

I hope that we’ll have to a chance to meet soon, whether on the station or down here, so you can have a chance to meet little Kelak in person. I’m sure I’ve told enough stories about the station that he feels he knows you already and will be excited to meet you in person. Until then, feel free to send your own family portrait in the spirit of the holiday. 

Sincerely, 

Julian (and Elim + Kelak)

The warm smile that has crept up Kira’s face as she’d read Julian’s letter transformed into a smirk as she read the last line. Even in his sincere celebration of a holiday, he was clearly fishing for updates. Kira wasn’t sure what Ezri had told him, but it was clear Julian sensed something had changed and was desperate for confirmation. 

Well, she would give it to him. 

Kira had a picture of her and Ezri from this year’s gratitude festival. One of the stalls had been an old-style photography booth, where a photographer provided a few festive clothes and accessories to those celebrating to commemorate the event. 

In the picture, both her and Ezri were drowning in the one-size-fits-all robes provided by the photographer. Ezri had a Bajoran lily tucked her ear as well, already drooping and threatening to fall. The two of them were smiling with their eyes closed, their foreheads pressed together in an intimate gesture.

Kira sent the image to Julian, with no other text besides a copy of the same Cardassian greeting as a caption. She knew the picture alone would tell him all he needed to know – that she was just as proud of the family she had.