Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

After an endless-seeming gauntlet of his most boring classes, Ajax, a fourth year marine biology student at the University of Liyue, is making his way back to his tiny apartment. Night has long since fallen, but the golden light from the lantern-shaped streetlights catch the yellow of the gingko leaves beneath his feet. There is a chill in the air, a herald of the winter to come, which shouldn’t bother someone who grew up in Snezhnaya. It shouldn’t. However, after three full years here, somehow his body has forgotten how to cope with the cold. 

He wants to give off the impression that he is still as hardy as ever, so he shrugs his backpack up his shoulder and fights the shiver. Ajax’s brain is liquid from all the information that he’s had stuffed in it over the past eight hours, so much so that the only messages the stupid sentient jello is processing are “hungry” and “joints ow.” Every last muscle in his body is sore, and the joints of his lower body are angry at him because he went to the gym before a six-hour lab, and then he had all of his perfectly average limbs folded into one of the tiny seats in the main science auditorium. 

The class that he has in that particular auditorium is a science elective, and one that he thought would be easy, in addition to fitting in his borderline psychotic lab schedule. Only one of those ended up being true, and to add insult to injury, he may develop joint issues from the seats while he tanks his GPA. What a way to end his university career.

A few blocks short of his apartment, the buildings almost seem to defy gravity, leaning in the questionable way that affordable construction seems to, and Ajax debates taking a quick detour to grab food. There is an amazing stall selling various noodle-based dishes just around the corner and his fridge is—barren is putting it lightly. His food options are protein powder and a lemon that one of his siblings may have put in his bag before he came back from the holiday break. Possibly. 

Though his joints protest, he grabs warm, delicious-smelling dinner, and drags himself home.

Ajax would normally consider himself very observant, and aware of his surroundings, but today, he very nearly trips over something in the tragic patch of grass , that the brochure generously called a garden, in front of his apartment building. It looks like a large stick, but upon further inspection, it’s alive . And it looks annoyed.

Squatting down, Ajax inspects the creature, which does not seem to fear him. It peers up with its shiny black eyes, folding into a little arch and inclining its head. It then sniffs the air, and seems infinitely more interested in the takeaway container in his arm than anything else.

“Sorry I almost stepped on you,” Ajax says, and owing to his worrisome lack of self-preservation, reaches out to pet the creature. 

He’s twenty-one years old, considers himself well-read and well-travelled, has lived in Liyue Harbour for a little over three years now, and yet, he has no idea what in the fuck kind of animal he’s looking at. It’s dark brown, fluffy-seeming, though in the weak light from the front entrance of the building, appears to have scales. Those two don’t mix in any animal that Ajax has heard of, so his eyes must be tired, too. It has an orange curl at the end of its long tail, and what appear to be horns at the crown of its graceful head. When it yawns, letting itself be pet, small, sharp teeth glint in the light. So, a carnivore. That’s about all he can ascertain. It almost looks like a miniature, fluffy dragon, but those definitely aren’t real, so it must be a kind of Liyue ferret.

It’s surprisingly trusting for a creature living on the streets, though, to be fair, there are plenty of stray cats and dogs in his neighbourhood who are equally friendly when he has food on his person.

Ajax scratches under the little creature’s chin and it tilts its delicately narrow snout up and closes its eyes, letting out a small, contented sigh. Something in Ajax’s chest clenches, and he debates whether he should take this stray—thing home. Dragon-thing. Ferret. Dragon ferret.

“You hungry?” Ajax asks, knowing full well that he’s speaking to an animal which will not understand him, but he swears , on his ancestors’ graves, that it nods.

“Huh,” he says, tilting his head. “Listen, buddy, I can’t stay out here for much longer. I need to eat and I need sweatpants, so you gotta wait a second before I feed you. Or, actually—“ Ajax sighs, and pulls out a noodle, only burning himself slightly in the process. The little dragon-thing sits down primly, reaching up with its tiny claws.

Since he was a kid, Ajax wanted a pet. Their household was always full of children, and his parents argued that they just never had the money nor the energy to take care of yet another creature. It was a fair point, and he gets that now, but it doesn’t mean that the yearning for a small companion ever went away. Even if it is an unidentified, fluffy thing.

It’s cute. 

Ajax watches it grab the thick noodle in its delicate paws and munch on it, and he wonders absently if this is good for it. If it’s a carnivore, like its sharp teeth suggest, it’s the chicken that may be better. Its tiny stomach may not enjoy the carbs like Ajax’s surely will in a few short minutes. 

“Okay, I gotta go, but here’s a piece of chicken. I hope you like it spicy. Will you? Is that even good for animals?” Ajax pulls his hand back to himself, and the creature keeps reaching for the piece of spicy chicken between his fingers. “It probably isn’t. I don’t want to make you sick.”

It makes little grabby hands, and tugs further on Ajax’s heartstrings.

“ Fine .” He reaches out and it curls itself around the chicken protectively. “I wasn’t trying to steal the food from you. I just don’t want to kill you by accident because I don’t know what you eat.”

The creature keeps munching happily, and Ajax is fascinated by its grace. Its fluidity of movement and the delicate bites are far from what he would expect from a stray, and it’s mesmerising. 

His own stomach growls loudly. “Time for me to go for real. See you later,” he tells the creature, scratching the top of its head. It closes its eyes and Ajax imagines it smiling. He won’t take it home. He doesn’t need a pet. He can barely take care of himself as it is.

Once in his glorious sweatpants and eating out of the takeout container like the animal that he is—sorry, mom—Ajax finally starts to relax. The weekend is approaching, and at least tomorrow he’ll have a light courseload. He has an assignment due at midnight tomorrow, but he’ll bang that out at the library after his afternoon bio class, and then will be free as a bird.

Now that his brain is fed, he takes his phone and opens up a search engine. He’s going to figure out what that little stray is.

cat snake

cat snake liyue

liyue stray animals

furry lizard 

scaled ferret

weird liyue strays

mini dragon

horned ferret

am i insane

Well, that was completely useless.

It’s too late for him to fully indulge his curiosity after such a long day, and he makes a mental note to look for the tiny creature and take a picture tomorrow. Yeah, tomorrow. When he will not take it home and keep it. Yes. 

Chapter Text

The next morning, Ajax wakes up in time to hit snooze for the twelfth time, probably. It’s not his favourite time of day, but he wanted to get to the gym and spend some time with the punching bag before all the lumbering weirdos claim it for themselves. 

Groaning loudly at the ceiling, like it has personally offended him, Ajax rises into a sitting position and scrubs at his eyes. At some point in the night, he must’ve kicked off all of his covers, and so his bed-warm skin starts to cool unpleasantly.

He grabs a shirt off his clean clothes chair and lumbers to the bathroom, stopping dead in his tracks when he hears rustling within his walls. It’s not unheard of for Ajax to hear his apartment neighbours’ antics and snack habits, but this is much too clear a sound.

Realistically speaking, any burglar who comes into Ajax’s apartment is dumb as hell, because the only thing of value in this place that they can access without his fingerprints is the dissection kit he had to buy for one of his labs. The laptop on the kitchen table is so old that some of the components are probably stone, and his textbooks are so used that they may disintegrate by the time exams roll around. 

He’s not so stupid that he keeps his money physically in his house.

Regardless, Ajax grabs the baseball bat that rests on the wall by his bed and stalks out slowly and carefully. When he rounds the corner and scans the room, he sees that there is a trail of napkins leading to the dining room table, where something rustles suspiciously. 

Ajax approaches the table, pausing when a plastic bag he had not left on the table sways. His heart rate settles somewhat now that he knows it’s not a murderer or a thief, though he really regrets leaving his windows open last night. 

He lunges forward and cinches the bag closed in the blink of an eye, holding it tightly while whatever he’s caught thrashes around. Just short of the door, it bites him, and Ajax drops the bag and its contents, yelping in surprise. When he looks down, he finds that mini dragon ferret thing from last night curled around a scattered pile of noodles, glaring at him. It hisses and picks up a noodle, bringing it to its mouth.

“Oh my god,” Ajax says. The creature turns its back to him and keeps eating, unbothered by the fact that it just fell a metre and a half and is in the entryway. To be fair, it’s not like an animal would know that the entryway is an inappropriate place to be, any more than it would think sneaking into Ajax’s apartment in the middle of the night to steal his noodles is inappropriate.

“That was supposed to be breakfast, you know,” Ajax tells it, sighing. It looks over its shoulder, giving Ajax the impression that it would be raising its eyebrow if it had any, and then it looks back at its meal. “I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was you in the bag.” Ajax frowns. “Did you go into my fridge?”

It finishes its mouthful, scoops the two plastic bag handles into its mouth, and trots back into the kitchen area with its spoils. Needless to say, it ignores the shit out of Ajax, public enemy number one.

He feels terrible having a small, innocent creature angry at him, even if he didn’t hurt it on purpose, so he asks, “Can we call it even if I let you eat all the noodles?”

The little dragon stops, mid-curl around the leg of his very janky kitchen chair, and appears to think. Ajax is certain that he’s lost his mind, or maybe this is exactly how people behave when they have pets. Maybe they talk to them and think they understand.

With a curl little nod, the dragon makes his way back up to the tabletop and resumes its feast.

And so, Ajax ends up eating the end of his box of cereal while sitting next to a strange creature buried in last night’s dinner. It’s not the weirdest morning that he’s had, if he’s to be honest with himself, which he so rarely is.

Tragically, because he is, in fact, a decent student with a desire to actually graduate, Ajax gets ready for class. The dragon-ferret, which he decides to call Noodle, follows him around the apartment while he figures out which clothes to wear, hunts down a handful of pens that went rogue after his last study session, and does his hair. For the latter, Noodle sits on the bathroom counter and watches Ajax curse through an adventure with pomade, interspersed with the occasional break to scratch under Noodle’s chin. It’s the first time Ajax hears Noodle make a little click of a noise in his throat, but judging how he stretches for more scratching, it must be a good thing. 

He should take this creature to the vet near campus and get it checked out, since it’s eaten a lot of spicy noodles, and also, Ajax would really like to know what it is. After class, though. 

Ajax pauses on his way out of the door and gets locked in a staring contest with Noodle, who is looking at him expectantly from two feet away.

“Hmm,” Ajax hums, kicking off his shoes and heading back into his bedroom to grab a sweater, which he then makes into a nest on the couch. “You can sleep there, if you need to. Uh, please don’t poop on my things while I’m gone.” 

He turns on his heel one more time to open the window in case Noodle wants to go out again, and then Ajax is waving goodbye and jogging to his class.

It’s stupid that he named Noodle because it’s probably going to leave once he’s gone. The little thing isn’t Ajax’s to care for, since it can clearly take care of itself, but—he tries not to hope that it will be there when he returns. It’s just easier not to get attached.

Ajax thinks about Noodle all day. It’s ridiculous, and he should be doing anything else, but he ends up fixated on his stray not-pet. He knows that he will feel disappointed in the end, but shit, it’s so cute.

Class takes even longer than usual, owing to his inability to focus and the dry contents of the lecture. The moment the professor dismisses them, Ajax is out the door like a shot, though he forces himself to walk at a normal pace. There’s nothing to be excited about, he tells himself, you’re just going home to dick around with an assignment that you don’t want to do. 

He boards the train with a few other tired-looking students and makes his way home to his likely-empty apartment.

When he hesitates at the door, it’s just because he didn’t hang onto the keys right, and nothing else. He feels nothing, just the usual exhaustion. More nothing when he sees the living room is empty, more nothing when there isn’t anything rooting through his takeout or fridge. The hoodie nest he had left on the couch looks unused, too.

Ajax berates himself for even thinking anything else, and sighs deeply, tossing his keys onto the coffee table. The clatter echoes, and Ajax just feels really pathetic. He doesn’t need that on top of an already long list of reasons to feel tragic. 

What he really needs is a nap. 

He allows himself a few minutes to wallow, and then goes into his bedroom to pass out. What he sees there gives him pause.

Noodle is curled up in his blanket, head propped up on a pillow, and snoring . Something in Ajax’s chest clenches and he reconsiders sleeping on his bed. He doesn’t want to disturb Noodle, but —Ajax falls victim to his caveman urge to pet the soft thing.

Snuffling awake, Noodle opens its eyes slowly, stretching its long body and tiny legs before leaning into Ajax’s fingers. Well. That’s painfully adorable.

Ajax can’t even begin to pretend that he’s not emotionally invested in this creature, strange as it may be. He scratches between its little golden horns and it chirps, closing its eyes again.

“Are you hungry?”

Its eyes snap open.

Ajax laughs. “Yeah, let’s get you some food and then I need to call and make an appointment.”

Noodle scurries up Ajax’s arm, and before he even realizes what’s happening, he’s curled up in the hood of Ajax’s sweater. 

Smiling softly, Ajax walks into the kitchen with his new buddy and sets about hunting for some food. The situation isn’t great, as groceries did not magically appear overnight.

“Okay, buddy, I have to go to the grocery store and get us something. There is nothing here that either of us can eat.”

Noodle makes a small click and settles into Ajax’s hoodie. The problem with this adorable nest of his is that Ajax does not have shoulders flexible enough to allow him to remove Noodle from it so he can go to the store. There is a good chance that Liyuean ferrets are as welcome in establishments as dogs and cats; that is to say, not at all.

Every time Ajax reaches back to scoop Noodle up, the wriggly little bastard shifts, avoiding Ajax’s fingers.

“Fuck. Noodle, come on, we both need to eat.” This purr-click-evasive wriggle manoeuver routine lasts another ten hungry minutes, until Ajax slumps his shoulders and gives up.

“Alright,” he concedes. “Fine, you can come with me, but don’t you dare let anyone see you.” Noodle rubs up against Ajax’s neck and purrs happily. “You are so spoiled.”

Ajax opts for the closer grocery store, which isn’t as well-stocked, but is within walking distance. It also has the benefit of being very pretentious, as evidenced by the disinterested staff leaning on most available surfaces. A good choice for someone smuggling a strange creature in for a quick grocery run.

It was meant to be quick, anyway. Forty-five minutes later, Ajax is carrying a cart’s worth in his green basket. For a creature who lived on the street, Noodle’s got some seriously expensive taste and zero ability to make decisions.

That last part is Ajax projecting, for sure, as a dragon-ferret isn’t indecisive. A dragon-ferret just wants to eat whatever it needs to survive. It does not, however, explain why Ajax let Noodle fill the basket.

The whole “stay under the radar and buy three things” went out the window the moment they entered the first aisle.

Ajax offers up his credit card soon after, and they head back home with a great deal more bags than he was expecting to carry.

First things first, Ajax lays out an assortment of pet foods along a wall of the kitchen, giving Noodle the opportunity to pick whatever it likes while Ajax himself remembers how to make people food.

An annoyed ferret noise takes Ajax’s attention from the simmering pot before him. He turns to find Noodle sitting on the ground, staring up at him, the array of cans untouched.

“What’s wrong?”

Noodle looks at the cans, then back at Ajax.

“You don’t like any of those?” Ajax asks. Noodle shakes its head, climbing up Ajax’s pants, all the way back up to the hood of his sweater. It peers over at the wooden spoon in Ajax’s hand, stretching its long body out towards it.

He sighs, giving up entirely, and brings the spoon closer to Noodle’s outstretched paws. Noodle slurps the liquid delicately, then looks up at Ajax. It’s not a stretch to say that Ajax’s heart swells. How has Noodle claimed his affection so easily?

“Better?”

In response, Ajax thinks, Noodle returns to sipping, seemingly unfazed by the temperature. 

“Okay, so you’re a fan of stews, I guess. If you wait a bit, you can have some beef and vegetables.”

Ajax swears he sees Noodle’s eyes turn to happy little half-moons. Maybe he’s a crazy cat lady already, but with his very own street urchin ferret. It’s been 24 hours. Maybe this has been a long time coming.

Leaning into this vibe, Ajax serves Noodle a cup once the stew is ready, then ladles himself a bowl. They forego the dining room table and snuggle together at the coffee table, and Ajax turns on a random show just to fill the apartment with noise. 

With a belly full of warm, home-cooked food, Ajax feels a bit better about his life, and settles into the couch. Noodle finishes its own bowl, licking its lips before clambering onto Ajax’s chest.

Ajax smiles, curling an arm around the purring ferret-donut on his chest, and using his other hand to stroke between Noodle’s little horns. Noodle closes its eyes and rests its head on Ajax’s arm and snuggles in, breathing evening out. 

Having some company, as small as it is, is a nice change from Ajax’s daily routine of transient interactions and small talk on campus. It’s been years, but he still misses the hustle and bustle of his home back in Snezhnaya. The only time he ever experienced true silence there was when he was out fishing, but here, it’s almost constant. Campus is noisy and so are the streets, but despite all of that outside, his apartment itself seems to echo.

He looks down at Noodle fondly, grateful for its squeaky snores and warmth.

After a memorable journey around the apartment in which several possibly-expensive items met their untimely demise, Ajax managed to trap Noodle and ply it with tea so that they could go to the vet. He did not utter the word “vet” at any point, though Ajax supposes trying to capture an animal generally triggers a fight or flight response. There is an art to wrangling Noodle, and Ajax will figure it out. 

When he shows up to the nearest veterinary office, he cradles Noodle in his arms and says, “Hello, I—I found a stray and I’m not sure what it is, but I’d like to make sure it’s healthy.”

Noodle clicks in a disgruntled way and wriggles into Ajax’s sleeve, scrabbling his way up it and leaving what will surely be a nice latticework of claw-marks on Ajax’s skin. He yelps, squirming to try and corral his pet, while the man at the reception watches the spectacle with barely-restrained amusement.

“Your stray seems awfully troublesome, mister…?” he says, voice soft and even. When Ajax and Noodle reach equilibrium—Noodle wrapped around Ajax’s bicep, inside of his hoodie—Ajax looks up into the tiny receptionist’s very aqua eyes and replies, “Ajax.” He smiles brightly.

“Oh, you were the one that emailed yesterday. Well, I’m Venti, a vet tech, and let’s just take you and your little friend there—“

Noodle squeaks angrily, but the sound is muffled. Ajax twists the cuff of his hoodie to make sure Noodle can’t escape that way. He really should’ve bought a carrier or a harness or something, but hindsight is 20/20. He’ll pick some stuff up today. 

In the examination room, while waiting for Venti, the tech, to return, Ajax peers into his collar and spots Noodle’s little nose resting on the armpit seam of the soft material.

“Can you please come out? They’re not going to hurt you, I promise,” Ajax says softly. “I can’t pet you when you’re in there, either.”

The tiny little head stretches further into the main body of the hoodie, peering up at Ajax. Noodle clicks, rubbing its head against Ajax’s bicep.

“Okay, buddy,” Ajax says, “you have to—“

At that moment, Venti returns, clipboard in hand and dark blue-green hair tied into a French braid.

“You said you found a stray?” he confirms. “What kind of animal? I didn’t get a chance to see it before it—“ Venti gestures at Ajax’s hoodie.

“Uh, I think it’s a ferret.”

“You think ?”

“It looks like a ferret, but it has these little horns, and I can’t find a single picture on the internet that makes any sense.”

Venti’s forehead pinches in a little frown, then he breaks out into a smile. “Let’s identify this little friend, then, shall we?”

“Hey, uh, Noodle, want to get out?” Ajax asks, using his free hand to encourage Noodle to move from the sleeve and out. With a protest, Noodle plops into Ajax’s lap, then pokes its head out from his sweater.

Venti and Noodle make eye contact, and Venti simply says, “Oh.”

Noodle darts back into the sweater, making Ajax huff a laugh as it brushes its fur over the sensitive skin of his stomach.

“Do you know what it is?” Ajax asks, once Noodle has taken up residence in his shirt, for a change. He has given up on retrieving him for now.

Venti appears to be trying to fight down a laugh, which, yeah, Ajax looks ridiculous with a pet in his clothes. 

He finally says, “He is…yes, he’s a ferret.” 

Noodle scrabbles up to Ajax’s collar, which is both hilarious and very painful on his bare skin, and Ajax sees his little ferret head out of the corner of his eye. He licks Ajax’s chin and then—well, Ajax can’t see what’s happening.

“So, he’s a boy ferret. Well, that’s good to know.”

“He is, yes. You know, I should check his vitals, if you could just help me by taking him out of your shirt. Or if his highness could get out of his owner’s shirt.”

Noodle chirps and drapes himself around Ajax’s neck.

“Okay, buddy, he’s not going to hurt you—ah, he’s in my hood now. He seems to like it there.”

Venti comes closer, muttering, “Just wait until Dr. Xiao sees you, Noodle .”

Noodle repeats the distressed chirp and continues fighting Venti, if the wild thrashing behind Ajax’s neck is anything to go by. 

“Venti, what are you doing?” says a calm voice, and both Ajax and Venti’s heads snap towards the door. “Hello, I’m the ve—“

At that moment, Noodle plops out of the hood and Venti’s hands, straight into Ajax’s lap, where he sits on his hindquarters and smooths down his fur.

“Hi,” Ajax says. “This is Noodle.”

“Noo—“ The man, presumably the vet, clears his throat for a moment. “Sorry, Noodle?”

“Yeah, isn’t this great? Look at this aging ferret . Isn’t he so cu—ow!”

“Stop biting him, come on,” Ajax admonishes his pet, who seems unrepentant. 

Venti holds his finger, squinting at Noodle. 

Clearly, there’s something about this vet tech that Noodle doesn’t like, so Ajax scoops him up and cradles him in his arms, giving him some illusion of a safe nest while they’re here.

“I—sorry, I’m the vet. You can call me Dr. Xiao. Is…Noodle? alright?” Dr. Xiao asks, stepping closer. Noodle seems more comfortable with the vet than he is with Venti, and Ajax is grateful that he won’t be responsible for any more biting of medical professionals.

“Yeah, he’s fine, I think? I just wanted to get him checked out because I’m not sure if I’m feeding him the right stuff, you know? I had no idea what species he was, and I’ve never had a pet, so I have no experience,” Ajax explains, scratching Noodle under his lil fuzzy chin. The fuzzy weirdo in question is sprawled out on his back, half-disappeared into the folds of Ajax’s oversized hoodie.

“He seems to enjoy being pet,” Venti says, looking at Dr. Xiao.

“Well, yes, that much is true,” Dr. Xiao replies, looking increasingly constipated. There is some silent communication going on between the two of them, but Ajax cannot figure out what is happening. He pets Noodle instead.

“He’s calmed down now. I think you can check his temperature and stuff without getting bit. Maybe. He’s never bitten me, not really, but he does get mad if I try to rush mealtime.”

“Ah, a picky little guy.”

“Venti,” Dr. Xiao admonishes.

“I wonder why he came to you, in particular,” Venti says, more to the room than Ajax, it seems.

“Not sure. I think I had really good-smelling noodles, and then he discovered all of my most expensive tea, and now he just lives with me, I guess.”

“Ah. That sounds in-character.” Venti snorts. “Expensive taste there, little guy?” Noodle turns, sticking his tail up and his butt towards Venti.

Ajax tries his best not to laugh, but he fails.

Dr. Xiao seems exhausted. “But he seems to be eating well?”

“Yeah, for sure. He eats a lot for such a tiny creature. What should I be feeding him? He didn’t want any of the pet food I got him, but he has no problem sticking his head into my meals.”

“They’re very resilient creatures, and can eat anything. As far as I know, the only foods that don’t agree with them are fruits of the sea,” Dr. Xiao says, gaze shifting to Venti, who looks a second away from bursting into hysterics. Ajax really doesn’t get what’s happening here. What has he gotten himself into?

“Really? Anything but seafood?”

“Yes,” Dr. Xiao replies.

“It’s not an intolerance so much as a dislike, though. You could try feeding him some and see if he’ll like it—ow!”

Noodle leaps out of Ajax’s arms in a split second, delivering a hefty bite to Venti’s ankle bone, even through the navy scrubs.

“Oh my god, I’m sorry,” Ajax says, scooping Noodle up with one hand and securely wrapping his arms around him. “Noodle, what are you doing? Stop being mean to him.”

“Venti forgets his boundaries, sometimes,” Dr. Xiao says coolly, leveling another cryptic look at Venti, who still appears unrepentant. 

“Should you not—he bit you—that’s bad, right?” Ajax points to Venti’s ankle. Noodle’s teeth may not be capable of major damage, but certainly there’s some protocol after getting bitten by people’s pets?

“Don’t worry about it, it doesn’t hurt.”

“He means that this particular species cannot cause humans any harm,” Dr. Xiao explains, which sounds insane, but Ajax isn’t a vet. He’s a future marine biologist, whose species of interest don’t have tiny little needle teeth and zesty temperaments.

“Uh huh,” he says. “Well. Uh. Do you need to check his vitals or something?”

Dr. Xiao reaches forward hesitantly, probably afraid to get bitten by the insane creature that Ajax has chosen to love, but Noodle seems to be fine with him. Only Venti seems to be the issue here.

The rest of the visit continues with no major incidents, though it is no less weird than the first half. Noodle is given a clean bill of health and Dr. Xiao and Venti lurk awkwardly as Ajax leaves, a disgruntled ferret in his arms.

“Well, that was weird as hell, buddy,” Ajax tells Noodle, who yawns hugely, settling into Ajax’s arms. “You’re not allowed to bite people, though. I can’t take you anywhere if you’re gonna do that.”

Noodle’s black eyes open, gazing up at Ajax all round and shiny and cute and fuck . He’s ass over teakettle for this tiny thing already. 

“Let’s just go home and I’ll make you some tea as a reward for not drawing blood, at least. Maybe I’ll train you to be a fighting ferret or something.” 

Noodle harrumphs at that. 

“Yeah, yeah. Take a nap, we’ll be home soon, and then I’m ordering you a collar. No complaints. You need a collar.”

Noodle is fast asleep by the time they arrive at the apartment, dozing in the crook of Ajax’s now very sore arm, but hell if it’s not worth it. 

Chapter Text

And so Ajax’s life continues on. He has a pet now, but unfortunately, he still has exams and other garbage to deal with to actually get his degree. Before Noodle, he could never understand why his classmates said it was hard to leave their pets at home, but now he gets it. When he goes to class, he sees Noodle all curled up, his black eyes shiny and pleading and—yeah, Ajax has been late a few times. He’s not proud of it, but the way Noodle tips his head back when he gets chin scritches is worth getting the stink eye from his professors. Whatever. 

The only real problem he had was feeding Noodle. Once the vet had told Ajax that Noodle could eat anything, that solved half the battle—the other half was that Noodle refused to eat from a bowl on the floor. It figures that Ajax would find the most high-maintenance stray and then decide to keep it. Now Noodle eats next to Ajax, eating smaller portions of Ajax’s dinners, but served on a smaller plate. He munches happily, and there was an adorable incident where his ferret tried to use chopsticks that were the size of his entire body. 

Ajax is 95% sure that he’s just projecting onto Noodle, but surely a ferret intuitively grabbing chopsticks isn’t a normal animal trait.

The other, very human, thing that Ajax discovered Noodle enjoys, is tea. After class one day, on a cool day, Ajax makes himself some chamomile to remind himself of home, and soon finds Noodle on his shoulder, long body stretching to sniff at the mug.

“That’s too hot for you, buddy,” Ajax says, slurping the hot liquid, then pulling the mug away from Noodle lest he hurt himself.

Noodle stretches further, reaching his little claws and making a tiny noise of protest.

“No, it’s hot!”

Noodle harrumphs .

“Fine, see if I care if you burn yourself,” Ajax says, not meaning it at all. He brings the mug closer to Noodle’s snout and watches carefully, ready to jerk it away in case he tries to shove his entire head in there.

To Ajax’s endless surprise, Noodle slurps carefully, much like Ajax had, and purr-chirps before rubbing his head against Ajax’s cheek.

It’s so cute that Ajax wants to scream into a pillow. He makes a mental note to get Noodle a tiny mug. He needs a tiny mug. For tiny teas.

Ajax has lost his mind, as evidenced by his recent online purchases, but he’s okay with it.

It’s Friday morning, and Ajax refuses to acknowledge his alarm. If he ignores it, it will go away, and the weekend will come.

The alarm turns off halfway into a second shrill rendition of a pop song Ajax hates, and he lifts his head from where he was trying to suffocate himself in his pillow. He blinks stupidly when he sees Noodle with one paw on his phone screen, right over the “Alarm Stop” button. Noodle chirps in irritation, then hops back onto the bed, shuffling until he’s curled up between Ajax’s shoulder and neck.

What a smart boy, Ajax thinks, saying as much out loud. It almost sounds like Noodle laughs, but that’s just Ajax projecting again. Still adorable.

When they finally wake, Ajax has about thirteen seconds to get ready for class. He throws his bag together, saving just enough time to brush his teeth so he doesn’t traumatize his classmates. Meanwhile, Noodle is sitting on his designated pillow on the table, looking plaintively at Ajax.

“I don’t have time for breakfast, Noodle, I’ll bring something back after class. Fuck, actually, here, let me—“ Ajax kicks his shoes off, scrambles back to the kitchen and makes Noodle a tiny bowl of cereal. It’s meant to be a bowl for rings, but it doubles as a perfect cereal bowl for—Ajax should just suck it up and make an Instagram profile for Noodle. He’s already way past ‘I’m not a crazy pet parent.’

He kicks that thought onto the backburner and sprints out the door, trying not to be sad about Noodle’s tiny whine of complaint.

Normally, Ajax stays on campus between classes, but he’s started coming home to hang out with his little buddy, and today he feels especially bad. They always eat together, and Noodle looked so sad when Ajax left.

“Yes, yes,” Ajax says, coming in the door to find Noodle on his hind legs on the back of the couch. It’s easy to imagine him smiling, and Ajax gives him a good belly rub before doing anything else. He’s got a three hour break before his only other class, and he sets about cooking them a nice meal.

The one other amazing benefit of Noodle’s existence is that Ajax has been eating a lot better. He feels bad just feeding Noodle takeout, so he’s been trying out new recipes and making sure they both have a balanced diet. Win-win. His family would be proud. Or something.

Noodle happily chomps at his sauteed vegetables, swishing tail brushing Ajax’s elbow on each pass. 

“Good?” Ajax asks, like a ferret is going to have an opinion. Noodle nods , and Ajax takes a moment to blink stupidly. He’s going insane because Noodle almost looks shocked before he returns to eating. Noodle is so fucking cute, insanity be damned. 

This afternoon’s class is sheer torture. It’s bad enough that it’s scheduled for Friday afternoons, but the subject matter just makes it worse. This professor could make even the coolest facts boring, which is a skill unto itself. Ajax just wishes he didn’t have to be privy to it for an entire semester.

His classmate Mona elbows him awake for the fifth time, a well-worn routine in this class.

“Huh?” he mutters, yawning.

“Class is still going on, Ajax,” she says helpfully.

“Kill me,” Ajax mutters, crossing his legs the other way for some variety. He resumes doodling little narwhals in his notebook, which is more accurately called a sketchbook at this point, but freezes when he hears a rustling from his bag.

Mona gasps. “Oh my goodness , hi ,” she coos quietly, and Ajax’s eyes grow round. Noodle’s head is popping out from his backpack, the fur on his head mussed up and staticky from the material. 

“Noodle?” Ajax hisses under his breath.

Noodle chirps.

“You called it Noodle? That’s so cute. Hi Noodle! I’m surprised it’s so well-behaved!” Mona goes right for scritching the chin and Noodle is living his best life, even though he’s in Ajax’s backpack , in class.

“Well, he’s not , because someone snuck into my bag,” Ajax points out, but Noodle looks unrepentant. His eyes are closed and his head is tilted back. Ajax knows his tail is swishing somewhere among Ajax’s notebooks. What a tiny little menace. 

“Oh, a mischievous boy!”

“Yeah, very mischievous,” Ajax says, levelling Noodle with a look. Noodle opens one eye and has the audacity to look smug.

“Hey, you know, my friend makes little costumes for animals. I bet he’d look adorable in one.”

Ajax stops to think about that one. Noodle looks at him. Ajax looks back.

“She has an Etsy,” Mona continues, tapping furiously on her prehistoric phone. After about a decade, she shows Ajax the link. 

Well. 

“Send me that,” he tells Mona, still maintaining eye contact with Noodle. 

“Please send me photos if you get any of them. I love pets in tiny outfits! Look at this little wizard outfit! It glows in the dark, Ajax!”

Noodle chirps at a low volume, as though he is conscious of his surroundings. The professor drones on.

Meanwhile, Ajax is on Etsy, and then he is checking sizing, and then he is putting one outfit into his cart. And then another. And then, somehow, class has come to an end, and he has purchased several hundred dollars’ worth of outfits for his ferret. The wizard cape and hat included.

It’s not the weirdest purchase he’s ever made, but he’s surprised the credit card company hasn’t called him about the unusual charges.

After class, Noodle and Ajax head home, though Noodle insists on traveling in Ajax’s hoodies instead of his bag. Ajax obliges, if for no other reason than to see that adorable profile in the corner of his eye as he walks. 

He’s stopped to grab a tea to celebrate, not at all because he knows he can share with his pet, okay, he just likes tea now, when he sees a familiar teal gradient of hair flash in the corner of his eye.

Ajax could have sworn that it was the vet. Why he darted out of the way like that if it was, is anyone’s guess. Weird. 

While Noodle sips from the takeaway cup at the crosswalk, Ajax tells him about their weekend plans, providing pauses for chirps and clicks where appropriate. 

“And don’t forget, your outfits are arriving next week.”

Noodle chirps.

“You’ll like them, I promise. I got some archon outfits so you can feel like a celestial being.”

Noodle slurps very loudly from the tea.

“One of them has wings! It’s so cute.”

At that, Noodle starts coughing, and Ajax startles, craning his neck to see if he’s okay. He gets his bearings after a few more small coughs and then reaches for the tea again.

“You scared me! Don’t breathe and drink at the same time.”

A low “mrrr” is all that Ajax gets in reply.

Skipping class in order to pick up a package of tiny costumes is irresponsible, so naturally, Ajax does it. It’s a stupid class, and he really wants to dress Noodle up and take photos. He sends Mona a photo of the package and she replies with a wall of enthusiastic emoji, and a request for photos of Noodle in his new outfits.

Well, duh.

Noodle slides out of Ajax’s hood and sniffs at the box, poking at the tape with his talons.

“Hold on, let me get a—“

Noodle pulls a claw along the tape and the box pops open.

“—knife. Okay. That works.”

Ajax pulls the flaps back, takes out the invoice, and stares down into a wild assortment of colours and patterns, smiling from ear to ear. He scoops Noodle up so he can look inside, too.

It’s not normal how cute Noodle is in his first little wizard outfit, and he didn’t even fight getting it put on. He looks up at Ajax from under the giant hat, looking resigned to his fate, though he sits obediently, the cape pooled around his curled body. It glitters in the sunlight. Ajax takes 900 photos before giving Noodle a chocolate-covered almond, which seems to mollify him. He takes the almond in his front two paws and gently licks at it before taking a nibble, repeating the process until Ajax wiggles another costume in front of him.

They spend an hour trying on costumes and little outfits, and sharing the bag of almonds, until there is just one outfit left.

Noodle seems most comfortable in the outfit he has on, some archon Morax, with a tiny little white hood and a bunch of fabric panels extending out from the torso part. It took some Googling to figure out how to put it on, and during that experience, Ajax found out that the Liyuean archon is pretty sexy. The costume barely resembles the archon’s, since he, you know, isn’t a ferret, but the colours work nicely with Noodle’s fur. 

Noodle keeps the sleeves away from his chocolate-covered almond as he munches, almost like he’s concerned about getting them dirty. If Ajax clutched his heart every time that he was overwhelmed by Noodle, he’d have a hand on his tit all day long. 

“Alright, handsome boy, last one!” Ajax says, waiting for Noodle to lift his paws up so Ajax can pull the costume off. With a final flourish, Noodle finishes off his treat, licks his paws and sits expectantly.

Ajax takes out the Barbatos costume, with its tiny wings, and Noodle bolts.

“Noodle?” Ajax calls, seeing a pair of glowing eyes from under the couch. “Buddy, are the wings freaking you out?”

Noodle chirps in reply.

“Come here, it’s just one more! Please?” Ajax pleads, flattening himself on his stomach on the floor to talk to Noodle. Noodle is not having any of it. He shuffles back further into the darkness. When Ajax reaches under to scoop him out, Noodle darts out and heads towards the bedroom. Sighing, Ajax gets to his feet and follows. In the blanket nest between Ajax’s two pillows is Noodle, up to the eyeballs in plaid fleece, tiny horns tenting the material. His feet just barely stick out from the blanket, and he watches the wings in Ajax’s hands like a hawk. 

When Ajax sits down on the bed, Noodle withdraws into the nest.

“Oh, it’s not that bad,” Ajax says. “But I guess we can skip this one if you don’t like the wings.”

Noodle makes a huffy noise, poking his nose out. Putting the costume down, Ajax lays down on the bed and gets into a comfortable position to scratch under Noodle’s chin. As he relaxes, he emerges from the blankets and curls up in the space between Ajax’s body and his arm, setting his chin on his shoulder.

“Naptime it is,” Ajax agrees, closing his eyes for just a second.

The next time he has class with Mona, he lets Noodle pick out an outfit in exchange for letting him come to class. Noodle wriggles himself into a little red hoodie that matches Ajax’s own, and they set out for campus. 

Ajax is in an incredible mood, smiling uncontrollably because he is wearing a matching hoodie with his pet . The Ajax of a few weeks ago would be laughing at this Ajax, but who cares? Noodle is the only thing keeping him sane, and he loves him so much. He scritches under Noodle’s chin as they walk, warm all over when Noodle nuzzles the side of his neck.

The sun is shining and It’s a good day. A very good day.

Chapter Text

Noodle becomes a fixture of Ajax’s day-to-day, and no longer needs to insist on Ajax bringing him. He knows he’ll be allowed in Ajax’s jacket or hoodie, matching because Ajax has no self control when it comes to tiny outfits. 

He grocery shops with Noodle, studies with Noodle, watches TV with Noodle, and wonders how he ever lived without him. The mere presence of this tiny little creature, who delicately sips tea while Ajax studies, keeps him on an even keel, even as the assignments pile up. It’s stressful and chaotic, and Ajax spends more hours studying and working than he ever has before, but when things get to be too overwhelming, Noodle just curls around his neck and nuzzles him until he remembers how to breathe. 

If only he had found Noodle in his first year—he would’ve saved himself quite a few crying jags and manic gym de-stressing episodes.

As the semester approaches its end, Ajax is starting to lose his marbles. Everything ever is due, his group projects are stupid, and he honestly cannot remember the last time he ate something that wasn’t liquid and didn’t contain alarming amounts of caffeine.

The last day of classes before his exam period, Ajax is hurriedly packing up his backpack and hauling ass because he is late. He is late and he has to hand in an assignment in person , because his professor is 6000 years old, and he has slept ten hours over four days and everything is terrible, and—he comes to a dead stop in front of his door because Noodle is standing there. Noodle is standing on his hind legs, stretching up to accommodate the package hanging from his tiny teeth. It’s a protein bar, and Ajax could cry because his pet—yeah, maybe he’s a little unstable, but he scrubs at his eyes, presses a little kiss to the top of Noodle’s head and hurries out. Somehow his pet is taking better care of him than—he doesn’t finish that thought and locks the door behind him.

Noodle doesn’t accompany Ajax on lab days, since the smell of the solvents seems to really bother him, but Ajax didn’t know how to explain that there is no lab today to a ferret. 

On his way home from his last class of the semester, Ajax stops by the store to grab some of that really expensive tea that Noodle likes the best. They should both celebrate classes being done, even if the worst is yet to come. 

Ajax is contemplating snack foods after grabbing the tea, when he catches sight of a familiar head of hair ducking around the corner. The first time was a funny event, the second was a weird coincidence, and this, the umpteenth time that he’s caught sight of Venti, is a pattern. Just tired enough to lose most of his social graces, Ajax rounds the corner of the aisle and asks Venti, who is attempting to hide behind a display of instant coffee, “Are you following me?” 

Venti, laughing, replies, “No! Who are you again?”

Though he might be drunk off of sleep deprivation, Venti’s acting is terrible enough that Ajax realizes he’s lying.

“Where’s Dr. Xiao. I saw him last time, too.”

“Huh, who? Who’s Dr. Xiao?” Venti asks, suddenly very interested in the sale display.

“The vet you work for?”

“Oh yeah, him. Yeah, no, we don’t hang out.”

Ajax’s brain is soup made of cotton and energy drinks, and just wants to lie down, preferably in a blanket nest with Noodle. 

He squints, then replies, “Okay. Just don’t follow me home, I’m tired.”

Venti appears cheerful enough, so Ajax clearly did not convey a correct amount of threatening energy with his words.

“Of course not! I’m not some weird stalker, you charming exchange student, you,” Venti replies, avoiding eye contact.

There isn’t enough active grey matter in Ajax’s brain to even process that, so he just walks away with his basket, hoping that he can remember how to use his credit card.

He’s so tired when he falls in his front door that he hallucinates a ferret looking worried, and lets said ferret bite the hem of his pants and tug him into the bedroom. Ajax collapses on top of it, registering the warm press of a soft muzzle against his neck before he passes the fuck out.

Ajax allows himself one day of rest, during which he sleeps, games, and goes for a run. His body enjoys 67% of his activity choices, and aggressively disapproves of the remaining 33%, letting him know by causing him great pain by the fourth kilometre, and motivating him to contemplate throwing himself off a bridge by the seventh. 

He used to be so fit, he tells Noodle, who is daintily crunching on some almond cookies that Ajax bought to go along with their tea.

Noodle nods, unfairly human for a ferret, and resumes munching as Ajax goes off on a tangent about exercise. He always seems to be listening, which Ajax really appreciates, even if that’s just the way that Noodle looks. He’s a better friend than most of the people he’s met here, though that may also be because Ajax is really bad at making friends.

“I have to start studying tomorrow, buddy,” Ajax says, sighing when he sees the clock ticking closer to midnight. They haven’t done a damn thing in hours, and it feels amazing. Noodle murmurs sleepily from his spot on Ajax’s chest, snuggling further into the soft material of Ajax’s hoodie.

“It’s going to suck, but it’s just a week and a half and then it’s break. We can hang out all the time.”

Noodle snuffles again, lifting his head, eyes soft crescents, almost like he’s smiling. Ajax scratches under his chin, smiling at Noodle’s contented purring.

“Just a week and a half,” he murmurs, more to himself, knowing that it’s going to be a shitty week and a half. 

Ajax is more right than he knew. It ends up being the worst exam season of his university career, and all he can hope for is passing his classes. Once he hands in his last exam, he is so over everything that he heads straight to the bar with his classmates and proceeds to reacquaint his liver with Liyuean specialties. 

There is a moment where Ajax is so drunk that Mona convinces him to text his pet. He ends up crying because he doesn’t have Noodle’s number saved because he’s the worst pet owner of all time, only stopping when another one of their classmates reminds him that his ferret does not own a cellular device . 

Ajax is so sad that he didn’t buy Noodle a phone that he drinks more, even as his stomach starts to protest, and that is where things start to blur.

“Oh boy,” Ajax hears Mona say from somewhere far away. “I think he needs to go home.”

Waving a hand in the direction of Mona’s voice, Ajax says, “‘M fine.”

“Wrong language, my friend. We’re not in Snezhnaya right now, Ajax.”

“Huh,” Ajax muses out loud. Probably. “Sober.”

Mona looks unconvinced of his sobriety. Why? He is so clearly functional.

“Kaeya, could you please help me with him?” Mona asks, still sounding very far away even though she is right there .

Kaeya laughs, but Ajax smells his cologne before he realizes how close he is. Ajax curses in a language when Kaeya hoists him up, more than familiar with the best way to do it after plenty of practice over the years. 

Ajax lets Mona and Kaeya usher him out of the warm, sweaty bar into the wonderful crisp air, and then promptly blacks out.

The next morning, Ajax wakes up because he is so goddamn warm that he wants to die. There is a sheen of sweat on his entire body, and it’s pooling in his lower back. 

He kicks at the covers that he must have pulled up in the night, and, upon finding none, croaks, “Kaeya, if y’crawled in my bed again, Imma kill you.” 

Ajax remembers being out with Kaeya, and the dumbass has a bad habit of sneaking into Ajax’s bed rather than sleeping on the couch when he walks Ajax home. It seems like he’s doing Ajax a favour, but the fact is that Ajax’s apartment is closer to the bars, and Kaeya is a lazy asshole when he’s been drinking. He’s also a furnace. 

The brief moment of silence is broken by a not-Kaeya voice saying, “He went home last night.”

Ajax’s eyes snap open, shutting immediately after when he registers how bright the room is. He hates post-drinking mornings almost as much as he hates it when one night stands stay over. Where the hell did he meet someone? How much of the night has he forgotten?

His mouth is sticky, morning breath tasting of whatever sweet liquor he finished the night off with, but he doesn’t think he detects a hangover yet. Nice.

“You’re really warm,” Ajax says, when he has summoned enough brain cells to speak to a person who is not Kaeya.

“Oh, sorry,” the man says in a very, unfairly sexy voice. Ajax can forgive him for sleeping over. Maybe. He rolls over to face his consequences and finds—holy fuck , good job, drunk Ajax—a really, really, really hot man in his bed, looking like a god draped in Ajax’s white sheets. The man’s eyes are like warm honey, chocolate brown hair tumbling over his (broad) shoulders and framing a very nice face. Very nice. His abs? Ridiculous. Chest? Stupid. Happy trail leading beneath the sheets to—yeah. Drunk Ajax gets a single point. His decisions are generally questionable, but if he managed to take this man home? There’s gotta be something redeemable there.

Ajax debates the merits of asking for round two when he realizes someone small and noodle-like is not in the bed. In the whole time that Noodle has been with Ajax, he hasn’t had the time for any sort of sexcapades, and he hopes Noodle’s okay.

“Oh my god, where is he?” Ajax asks suddenly, sitting bolt upright and looking around. Noodle always sleeps curled up by Ajax’s neck. Always . “Noodle?” Ajax calls, lifting the sheets, noting that he is somehow in his underwear, but that is irrelevant when there is a missing Noodle in his home.

“He’s still in the bed,” the man says, looking decidedly unbothered while Ajax panics. His heart is beating way too hard, and he leaps out of bed, wobbling on the landing as he searches around the room.

Fuck, maybe he squished him? Oh god, what if Ajax accidentally stepped on him while he was drunk? Oh god, oh god —

“Wait, what?” Ajax asks, once he’s processed those words.

“He’s here,” the man reiterates.

“Where?” Almost in tears, Ajax looks frantically around the large creature in his bed in his search for the small creature usually in his bed. This day is a nightmare already, and he just wants to see his little ferret and hold him and have tea together on the couch.

“I’m not sure how to explain this in a way that will make sense to you, but I’m Noodle.”

Ajax blinks stupidly. 

The man stares at Ajax, being both very sexy and very useless in Ajax’s hunt for his pet. Ajax puts his hands on his hips and says, “This is a stupid dream and I hate it.”

Ajax returns to his presumably dream bed, shoving his face into the pillow and hoping he can suffocate himself into waking up in reality. Drinking is horseshit and he is never doing it again.

Chapter Text

When Ajax wakes again, even before he has experienced the misfortune of opening his eyes, his head feels like it’s been bashed in by all of his textbooks, in alphabetical order. He smacks his sticky lips, making a sound of disgust at the taste in his mouth. 

Unfortunately for him, his bladder attracts his attention before any other part of him can clamour for help, so he is doomed to drag himself out of the bed. For a second, he considers the consequences of not moving, but they’re too dire. Bedwetting is not on his list of university to-dos, thanks. 

A searing pain lances through his skull when he rights himself, stomach twisting and churning, so he groans and bends in half to ease the struggle. It does not, in fact, ease his struggle, as it amplifies the nausea, though it does help with the headache. He angles his torso to 45 degrees, and waddles to the bathroom. 

Ajax cannot, with any certainty, estimate how long he spends in the bathroom, but by the time he emerges, he feels approximately 10% more human. The shower made him smell better, if nothing else, though he desperately needs some water and perhaps a nap on his couch. Thank god his exams are over.

He checks his phone, which is at 2% battery, since drunk Ajax did not have the presence of mind to charge it. There is a string of incoherent messages from Mona and Kaeya, the latter of which has the audacity to ask Ajax if he “regeerts the shorts noiw”. No, Ajax doesn’t regeert a thing, except for his friendship with Kaeya, who Ajax is 99% sure is responsible for his drinking last night. In some way, probably. Kaeya is the source of most of his bad ideas.

When Ajax walks into his living room, he stops dead, headache disappearing for a moment while he processes the scene before him.

There is a man.

In Ajax’s hoodie, the one he matches with Noodle , and this man has the audacity to—

Why’s he standing in his kitchen? 

Wait.

Is this the—

“Are you real?” Ajax asks. It seems as good a question as any to start with.

The man picks up a steaming mug and extends it towards Ajax. Ajax does not stare at his bare chest beneath the zip-up hoodie, nor does he notice the fact that this man is in his boxer briefs because that’s just not—Ajax screws up his face as the headache sweeps through his head again.

“The tea will help, I promise,” the man says, gesturing to the mug in Ajax’s hand. “And yes, I am real.”

“But I had a dream and you were in it?” Yes, Ajax, you’re getting words in the correct order in a sentence, he tells himself.

“That was not a dream, Ajax.”

Ajax blinks, first with one eyelid, then the other. It’s the best he can do. He looks down at the tea, which smells heavenly, even though Ajax would rather die than smell anything else in the present moment. Nothing should smell good when he’s this nauseated, and yet, here he is, taking a sip of the tea and praying it does help his entire situation.

Once the mug is empty, and Ajax has deposited the sack of bones that he calls a body on the couch, he sighs.

“Okay, so, what did you do with my ferret?” Ajax asks, his eyes still searching the corners of the apartment for Noodle, who is likely hiding because of this stranger. There’s no need for worrying, Ajax thinks, while worrying.

“I didn’t do anything with him, and he is not a ferret, exactly.” The man scratches the back of his neck a bit sheepishly, looking far too comfortable in a stranger’s house.

“Then where is he?” Ajax demands.

“I’m right here,” the man says.

“Ha ha. No, okay, seriously, can we just—can we start with last night? I am hung over as balls. Use small words.”

The man laughs softly, his voice rich and deep, and Ajax wishes that his dick could stay out of this for a moment. Nothing makes sense right now.

Ajax slurps the tea obnoxiously to fill the silence. 

“Well, where would you like me to start? It would make sense if you wanted me to start from when you came home looking a little worse for wear?” the man says, a small smile curving his beautiful mouth. Ajax’s eyes drift down to the man’s chest and wonder if he was actually any good in bed last night because hoo boy, is he hung over. Whiskey dick was more than likely. Great.  Ajax looks down at his hands, embarrassed.

“Start when we met, maybe?”

“You fed me a noodle.”

Ajax blinks. “When the hell did I get noodles after the bar?”

“Oh, no, a few months ago. You fed me a noodle.”

Ajax blinks again, racking his alcohol-soaked brain for information. All he finds is sludge.

“I’m pretty good with faces,” Ajax says, omitting ‘as hot as yours.’

“I look a little different. As I may have mentioned, I have changed species. To you, anyway.”

“Did you just say that you changed species?” Ajax asks, face screwed up in confusion.

“Yes.”

“You’re actually telling me that you’re my pet ferret.”

“Dragon, actually.”

“You’re my pet ferret-dragon.”

“Just dragon.”

“You’re a dragon?”

“Not currently, no, but I was in my dragon form.”

“Yes, you’re clearly a dude right now.”

“Yes.”

“And your name is…?” Ajax takes a long drag of the tea, pleased at how his head is starting to clear.

“Morax. Or Zhongli. For you, Noodle.” He smiles. “Any of them is fine.”

“Why does that sound familiar?”

“You may have heard it around festival time.”

“Okay, we’ll come back to that.” Ajax frowns more deeply. “Let’s say you are, hypothetically, my ferret.”

“Dragon.”

“Dragon. My hypothetical dragon. How am I supposed to believe that? You have any scales there that I can’t see? Man, I’m being pranked, aren’t I?”

Zhongli follows the motion of Ajax’s slightly hysterical hand gestures. 

“No, you aren’t being pranked, and no, I do not have any scales. Just human skin.”

“Why would you say human skin? That sounds so serial killer-y.”

“I apologize.”

“But seriously, you realize how insane this sounds?”

“I do, yes.”

“And you expect me to believe you?”

Zhongli walks out of the kitchen and brings his bare chest closer to Ajax. Disrespectful.

“May I sit down?” Zhongli asks.

“Sure,” Ajax says affably, scooching over to make room and putting his mug on the questionable coffee table.

“I do know that this is an unusual situation, but I am happy to answer any questions that you may have. I do want to thank you for your kindness and for all the wonderful meals. You are a skilled chef.”

“Thanks.” Ajax smiles, a bit confused, but still flattered. “So, can I get the tl;dr version of what happened, or?”

“The what version?”

“Uh, too long, didn’t read. Just—the short version.”

“I have to admit that I was a little concerned about you when you returned last night, so I made an attempt to see if I was ready to take another form, and it turns out that I was.”

Confusion opens the door for embarrassment. “Was I that drunk?” 

“I had to check if you were breathing once or twice.”

Ajax is more embarrassed than he has ever been in his entire life. He knows, for a fact, that his face is bright red, and there is no coming back from this. He hides behind his hands, praying that the ground will swallow him whole. 

It doesn’t.

“And you—changed forms,” Ajax confirms, like that’s a normal thing that people do.

“Yes.”

“So, why—why were you…small?”

“I had used all of my energy in a, hmm, small altercation several months ago, and required more time than expected to recover.”

“And you spent your time as a dragon hanging out with stray cats?”

“I had not intended for that to happen, but I couldn’t resist exploring the city. It had been a long time since I had last wandered the city, and I was curious to see how things had changed.”

“Where were you?”

“Other matters required my attention for some time.”

“How long were you gone that things had time to change? I’ve been here for a couple of years and it’s all the same. Well, except for that one ugly building on campus. I guess things change all the time when I go home to visit, but maybe that’s just because I’ve changed? I’m not sure if that’s the same—fuck, you don’t care. Okay. So. You are…who, exactly?” Ajax attempts to salvage his ramblings, but he may as well give up entirely. Despite all of his bumbling and stupidity, Zhongli’s listening intently, a gentle smile on his lips.

“Several decades, but time passes very differently for me.”

“Ah.”

“I would just like to make it clear that I do care. I’ve rather enjoyed all the stories you told me about Morepesok and Snezhnaya.”

“How do you—huh. Okay.” Ajax was entertaining the concept of Zhongli being his pet ferret for several months, but not in a serious way. More in a theoretical ‘wouldn’t it be funny if…?”, and less in the way that this man was actually listening to the stupid things he’s been saying for months now. 

Now it is an actual reality, rather than a theoretical one.

Ajax sighs. “I’m sorry for all the dumb stuff you had to hear over the past little while.” He has a horrible realization. “Oh fuck, and for me getting naked in front of you?! This is awful. I’m so sorry.”

“I tried my best to be respectful,” Zhongli says, and if Ajax isn’t mistaken, there is a flush high on his gorgeous cheekbones.

Well, that’s— “And did you succeed?” 

Zhongli looks disappointed as he says, “Yes.”

Ajax, don’t flirt with your shapeshifting pet. Stop it. No matter how hot he is, there are so many levels of wrong here, that—

“Unfortunate.” Ajax slaps himself mentally. A silence falls.

Zhongli is the first to clear his throat and say, “I apologize for all this confusion, and I’m sorry for taking advantage of you like this. I will happily repay—“

Holding out a hand to stop him, Ajax says, “No, no way. I mean, it’s uh, it’s a weird situation, but it was kinda cool having a cute little fer—dragon around. I appreciated the company. This semester was…” He trails off for a moment to make a face, then says, “Well, you know. You were there.”

“It was a little chaotic,” Zhongli says, eyes twinkling. 

“Oh god , you were there. I’m sorry for the way that I am. Just—for all of it. Uhhh, do you want something to eat? I might throw it back up later, but you might not?” Ajax skips the mental facepalm and opts for a real one before walking towards the kitchen. 

“Would you like me to prepare something instead? You seem—“

“Hung over?”

“Slightly, yes,” Zhongli says, laughing softly. 

“Yeah. Not as bad as before. What was in that tea, and where did you get it? I need to have it around.”

“You have everything you need in your kitchen already,” Zhongli explains, following Ajax into the kitchen, having the audacity to smell really fucking good. He was a ferr—dragon up until 12 hours ago. He should not smell this appealing, and should not be this competent. 

They spend the day together, after Ajax manages to keep Zhongli’s delicious lunch down, and they have such an easy familiarity that Ajax keeps forgetting the context. 

Yes, theoretically, they do know each other fairly well, having lived together for a handful of months, but it was one-sided conversation, and that one side also put Noodle-Zhongli into costumes for his own entertainment.

There’s also the Instagram account, but Ajax would rather die than broach that topic right now. It’s on a long list of things Ajax doesn’t want to discuss, so most of their topics of discussion skirt their relationship and any of this sexual tension that Ajax hopes he’s not making up.

At 8pm, their show comes on, and it feels like everything has returned to normal, except Noodle is now a man Ajax’s size, in Ajax’s hoodie, whose leg is a warm line against Ajax’s own pasty leg. It looks like he hasn’t been outside in 17 years, especially compared to Zhongli’s skin. 

“So…question,” Ajax begins, not having thought his words through.

“Yes?” Zhongli replies easily, turning to face Ajax on the couch, and pulling his beautiful thigh away.

“What are you going to do now? Do you have a home? Do you have a job or something?”

Zhongli puts a finger to his chin in thought, golden eyes disappearing in a pensive mist. 

“I do have a home, yes, and I have a duty, if you will. I suppose one can call it a job.”

“Ah. I guess you’re going to go home, then?” Ajax asks, and sounds just as pathetic as he was hoping not to be. 

After a brief moment in which his brain performed an actual function, Ajax frowns.

“Wait,” he says, before Zhongli can reply. “Is your home far away? Is that why you ended up hanging out here?”

“Ah, well, you see, it’s these fall nights that are quite long, and travel is the way that it is, and—“

It dawns on Ajax that Zhongli hung around for him . “You’re welcome to stay as long as you like, especially over the holidays. I mean, you know I’m not going back home, and it would be kinda cool to have company. Unless you have something else to do?”

“I would love to celebrate the holidays with you, and try some of the many specialties you spoke so fondly about,” Zhongli says, and it doesn’t feel like pity. He smiles gently and Ajax takes a moment to meet his eyes and fall into the warmth of them.

“Alright. Let’s do that, then.” For the first time all day, Ajax feels fully at ease, a soft hope fluttering in his chest, a promise of the days to come. He has no idea what is going to happen here, but judging by Zhongli’s gentle smile, it’s going to be good.

When Zhongli heads into Ajax’s bedroom later that night with utmost confidence and familiarity, Ajax stops dead in his tracks. He hadn’t even thought about sleeping arrangements. His heart ratchets up to a solid 200 BPM.

“Are you coming?” Zhongli asks, pulling back the blanket. 

“I might be soon,” Ajax mutters under his breath.

Zhongli doesn’t hear, and says, “I think some rest will do you good.”

“Yep, rest. I will sleep so well in my bed.” Ajax walks over and slides into the bed next to Zhongli, who is reclined like a god , draped in Ajax’s sweaty hangover sheets like he’s right at home.

“That, I do know,” Zhongli says, reaching to turn off the light.

Ajax tells his dick to take a hike for the time being, because this is really not the time.

“Good night,” he croaks, speaking to both Zhongli and his own traitorous dick.

“Good night, Ajax,” Zhongli says.

And so it’s settled. Ajax decides he’s going to seduce his former pet.

OMAKE:

Three months later

“Hey, uh, Zhongli, why did your vet slide in my DMs and threaten me for, and I quote, ‘defiling a god’?” Ajax asks, looking up from Instagram.

Zhongli’s hand stops for a fraction of a second on its way to his face. He sips his tea in a calm and measured way, then returns the cup to the table.

“Xiao is rather protective of me.”

“Calling you a god? I mean, that’s some hero worship right there.” Ajax makes a mental note to be jealous later.

“Oh, that’s not a nickname.”

“What, you’re a god?” Ajax laughs, but it peters out when he sees Zhongli’s sheepish smile. “You’re a god ?”

Zhongli sips his tea, still calm, still collected, while Ajax stares off into the middle distance. He bent a god over the kitchen counter last night, and that’s somehow not the weirdest thing he’s experienced in the past three months.

What a life he leads.