help_me_or_kelp_me
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Depressurize (verb) - to release pressure from
It’s been about a week since you retrieved the crystal from the Hadal Blacksite. With the money you’ve been given, you’re basically set for life. You’ll never have to deal with another entity from that goddamn facility ever again—at least, not until two of them break into your house.
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Smiling Face and Folded Wings, Paper Doll and Puppet Strings by help_me_or_kelp_me
Fandoms: Original Work, Roblox (Video Game)
15 Oct 2025
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A tutorial on how to make a paper doll.
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Nobel Sneasler by help_me_or_kelp_me
Fandoms: Pocket Monsters | Pokemon - All Media Types, Pokemon Legends: Arceus (Video Game)
18 May 2025
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Sneasler wins her well-earned Nobel Prize.
From this post: https://www.tumblr.com/help-me-or-kelp-me/738854629395382272?source=share
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Sebastian is deprived Tylenol by Urbanshade so he doesn't turn autistic by AnonUmbrella
Fandoms: Pressure (Roblox)
05 Nov 2025
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"Wha.. ‘m not turning autistic" He muttered, you can't turn autistic. Especially not from a pain killer- Urbanshade was just being stupid.
"Oh my god this is it. You're going to be autistic for ever. You know they told me it's curable, I'm sure if we just get you to a doctor everything will be fine! Ohhh god-" Painter's voice was fading, the world was spinning faster– he could've sworn he heard a thud.
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I don't support trump and I'm not ableist this is entirely satire I swear
Bookmarked by help_me_or_kelp_me
15 Nov 2025
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"Welcome to a new user experience! You have triggered this interface with the keywords, ‘Stupid game! Stupid devs! I want my f*****g money back!’ You are now bound to the character Tartaglia, the Eleventh Harbinger of the Fatui, codename: Childe! We hope you have an enjoyable user experience and we welcome you once again to Genshin Impact 2.0!”
Those are some of the first words Ajax, starving college student extraordinaire, has the misfortune of hearing upon waking up in a brave new world from what he's fairly sure is a very fatal accident involving water and a shit ton of electricity.
Okay, so he's not dead. That's good. But what's this about him being stuck playing the character Tartaglia? Tartaglia, as in the no-good, one-dimensional, cartoonish villain who met his untimely, gruesome death in the first act of the original game?
Forget this. Like hell Ajax is going to share that fate.
And so begins one man's journey to save himself from his awful destiny.
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- English
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- 560,073
- Chapters:
- 46/46
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Bookmarked by help_me_or_kelp_me
01 Aug 2025
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People keep coming up to Kaveh to congratulate him. Kaveh doesn’t really know why, and he’s a little too scared to ask at this point, so he heads back home, content if not a little bemused.
He is, unfortunately, reminded of it the very next day, when the door slams open and Al-Haitham stalks in. “Mind telling me why everyone was congratulating me today?” he demands. “About your pregnancy?"
Or: Al-Haitham is, without a doubt, the most annoying person Kaveh knows. Maybe the world’s second-most annoying person can help Kaveh figure him out.
- Language:
- English
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- 20,724
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- 3/3
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Bookmarked by help_me_or_kelp_me
21 Jul 2025
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You drown in rushing water, and show up in Teyvat. You are present, the “traveler” is not. You wonder if this means you must take their place, but an average human from Earth can not match up to whatever the traveler is. Not in strength, not in kindness, not in geniality. It takes crawling out of a hole of self-hatred and shaking hands to come to the conclusion that you were never meant to take on the destiny of a hero.
(A mouse can’t ever put a bell on a cat’s collar; Sometimes the most favorable task isn’t achievable, no matter how much you beg to be different.)
The fic is set to take place during the entire first main quest in Mondstadt. It is book one of two, if I believe in myself hard enough.
Bookmarked by help_me_or_kelp_me
26 Jan 2025
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decay exists as an extant form of life by Magepaw
Fandoms: 原神 | Genshin Impact (Video Game)
18 Jul 2022
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Notebook. Forceps. Scissors. Scalpel. Chisel. Saw. Albedo looks forward to discovering what secrets of life this small body will yield to him.
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