Chapter Text
“I like you.” Miyano recalled the quiet admission anxiously as he sat in a daze.
He and Sasaki had, over time, gotten closer and built somewhat of a routine around one another. A routine that would inevitably have them walking home together after Sasaki confessed though Miyano was still processing what it all meant, if anything.
He spent his break poring over whether Sasaki knew he was awake at the time and whether all of his jokes leading up to that moment were in fact jokes at all. It made catching up on all the BL manga he had planned impossible as he couldn’t help but see parallels between his own situation and that of the confused ukes he’d normally delight reading about. His mind would inevitably wander to Sasaki and he’d shut whatever volume he was reading in a heated blush.
“This doesn’t make me an uke,” he’d insist. “Just because I like to read BL doesn’t mean that’s what I’m looking for for myself.” Much of his time was spent wrestling with these ideas before he ultimately resigned himself to read more seasoned workplace storylines. But eventually, break ended and he’d have to face Sasaki and these lingering questions as a second year.
“Miyano. Mi-ya-no, take the sheet and pass it back.” Kuresawa repeated pointedly, jarring Miyano from his reverie. Absently, he did as instructed but his thoughts continued to distract him which did not go unnoticed.
“Did you have a good break? Did you and Sasaki-senpai get into any new manga?” Kuresawa asked over lunch.
“Wh-what makes you ask that?” Miyano asked, shifting nervously in his seat. He tried to stop his eyes from widening at the question but could already feel his ears burning.
“I saw him over break at his family’s bakery when I was visiting my girlfriend. She’s always looking for new BL, you know that.” Kuresawa nonchalantly began unpacking his bento. “Well, at least we know what’s bothering him.. wonder if they’re any closer to figuring this out.”
“Enough about your girlfriend, Kuresawa. Tell us about her cute friends, right, Miyano? Some of us are still looking for someone.” Tashiro interjected while throwing a hand on Miyano’s shoulder for emphasis.
“Miyano, not so much. And this better not be a means to meet my precious girlfriend, Tashiro. I suppose when she’s out of the hospital a mixer with her friends would be nice.”
“A mixer would be a great idea, right!? We could meet cute girls and then we wouldn’t have to worry about eating duty chocolate next year.” Karasuhara chimed in grabbing a tomato from Tashiro’s lunch.
“Duty chocolate.. I guess when Sasaki-senpai suggested we buy each other chocolate as the perfect BL set up, he was being serious then too.” Miyano realized exasperatedly as his mind settled once again on seeing him after school. He groaned and buried his face into his hands. “Why did I think of that? Have I been giving him mixed signals the whole time!? I wonder if he’ll expect an answer. What do I tell him? I don’t want to hurt him, especially when I’ve come to admire him so much.”
Lunch came and went with Miyano consumed by his anxiety.
“Mya-chan!” As if summoned by thoughts alone, Sasaki appeared waving in the doorway of his classroom once afternoon classes dismissed.
“Sasaki-senpai. Hello.” Miyano loaded his bag slowly wondering how he could create space between the two of them.
“Are you heading home? Want to walk together?”
“Uh - no, I-I’m not going straight home actually.” Miyano’s eyes darted frantically under the cover of his thick bangs.
“Bookstore then? I’ll come with! I’m sure you have plenty of new volumes to pick up.”
As Miyano closed the gap between his desk and the door, he was overcome with a brilliant idea.
“Actually, I’m on after school duty with the disciplinary committee so I’ll be staying late. No need to wait up.”
“You are?” Hirano asked with a furrowed brow appearing just as suddenly behind Sasaki.
“THE ONE THING THAT COULD BLOW THIS.” Trying to keep calm, Miyano swung his bag over his shoulder. “What should I say? What if Sasaki-senpai realizes I’m lying? That would hurt him even more, I think.”
“Sasaki, I hope you’re not bothering my kohai.” Hirano’s eyes narrowed as he misinterpreted Miyano’s wild expression. “I was coming by to see if you could cover for me this afternoon as I made last minute plans with my roommate.”
Miyano, relieved by the fact that he was no longer lying to Sasaki, was overtaken by his fudanshi curiosity. His voice dropped suddenly, “the basketball player? Did you two make dinner plans? Are you ever going to introduce us? You know. Kohai to kohai, I think we’d have a lot to talk about.”
“Stop turning everything into BL, Miyano. At this rate, I don’t know how Sasaki puts up with you. If you’re already staying, I’m good to go so I’m heading back to the dorms. Thank you for your hard work today!” Hirano rolled his eyes and grabbed Sasaki by the collar allowing a reprieve from the awkwardness between them.
“Catch you later, I guess!” Sasaki waved with a grin.
To his surprise, his plan worked. While Miyano actually had to stay on duty, he’d at least have more time to ponder the situation. He reflected on how casual and upbeat Sasaki behaved, as if he hadn’t dropped a figurative bomb on Miyano days prior. “Maybe he didn’t mean it like that after all. I’m probably creating a much bigger issue than there needs to be.”
—
“You really ought to study more and trail after that underclassmen a lot less, Sasaki.” Hirano tutted as he swapped out his shoes.
“Yes, Mom, I’ll get right on that. Would that be before or after you stop spoiling your roommate? Do you guys have dinner plans tonight? Is that why Mya-chan is staying late?” Sasaki couldn’t help but smile thinking about the face Miyano made whenever Hirano talked about his roommate. “Total BL fodder,” he chuckled under his breath, rolling his eyes. “I could see Mya-chan falling for that, he probably thought he was just helping them along.”
“Like I said, this was last minute. I didn’t even know Miyano was staying late. Besides, Kagi-kun and I are roommates. We eat dinner together most nights. Don’t tell me Miyano’s fudanshi habits are rubbing off on you. While I’m glad it’s not the other way around, I’d hoped you’d be influenced more by his studious and responsible nature. You are a third year after all. You have entrance exams to consider.”
“That’s what I have you for! I’m sure we’ll work something out when it’s crunch time.” Sasaki flashed a fanged smile before receiving a swift slap on the back of his head.
“Get it together, Sasaki. That will come at a great price!” Hirano waved derisively as he threw his bag over his shoulder and departed.
Sasaki chuckled lightly as he headed towards the train. Once alone, his smile slowly faded as he stared off into the distance. “He didn’t seem weird today, did he? If he wasn’t staying late because of Hirano, I wonder what his deal was.. he couldn’t have heard me before, could he have? He’s not usually hard to read but I can’t be upset or surprised if he heard me. I guess I just hope it doesn’t change anything. I like things.. the way they are. Maybe I’m reading into nothing. Maybe I could be more brave and tell him face to face so there aren’t any questions. Maybe I should hold out a little longer.. I just know the longer I do, the harder it is to hold myself back. I keep wanting to grab his hand or.. hug him.”
He absently held his hand against his chest as the doors to the arriving train opened. He stepped aboard and took a seat, reminiscing about Miyano gently falling asleep on his shoulder before break.
Even then, he was careful to smell his hair rather than touch it, he whispered to him rather than kissed, and departed abruptly rather than scooping him up into a hug until the end of the line. Surely, this restraint was to maintain the progress he’d made in developing their friendship: slowly, earnestly but with purpose.
As he made his way home, Sasaki couldn’t help but think tender thoughts of the small gestures he’d been holding himself back from. “When he’s ready, I want to take care of him.”
He smiled as he arrived home, the smell of fresh baked bread and pastries warmly permeating the whole house. He hung his bag over his desk chair and sprawled out on his bed, the manga Miyano lent him before break still laid by his pillow. He’d read it a few times noting that one of the MC’s looked suspiciously like Miyano. “Does he see himself as an uke? Does he see me as a seme? Does he think about us like that at all?” Just as he began to question Miyano’s preference for dark haired ukes, a sudden rain began pounding heavily on his roof.
“Shuu! Come help me with these bags, please!” Satoko called from the first floor. The front door was thrown open forcefully with the wind as his sister pushed as much of their groceries inside as she could. “What is with this downpour!? The weatherman didn’t say anything about rain at all today. I doubt anyone thought to carry an umbrella. Is everyone else home?”
Sasaki shielded himself from the rain as much as he could as he brought everything else in and noticed how thoroughly his sister was drenched. He grabbed her a handful of towels to dry off with and to absorb some of the rain that currently flooded their atrium. “Dad’s still at the bakery but Mom is home. Are you okay?”
“I guess, it just came out of nowhere. It might be nice if you ran an umbrella to dad for when he has to head home.”
Satoko’s windblown hair and flushed face suddenly reminded Sasaki of someone else who might get caught in the unpredictable weather and, before he knew it, he was taking off full force with two of the four family umbrella’s. “Quick pit stop for Dad then I should just be able to catch Mya-chan before he has to leave!”
—
Miyano stared out the window of the committee room regretting his decision to stay late. The sky had taken a sudden navy blue hue and the rain beat against the window relentlessly. Most of the after school clubs came and returned their keys early, once it started coming down, so he considered leaving early himself. There was only one problem, “I didn’t bring an umbrella today.. this doesn’t look like this is letting up any time soon, either.”
He contemplated texting Hirano for guidance but wondered if he might actually be interrupting something. “What if my text derails whatever BL plot line is at work? Then I’ll never have my dream for the blond, honor roll delinquent, mothering type settling down with his age gap, scholastically challenged, athletic kohai. Cue the moe. I can’t risk it.” Just as he put his phone down, he realized he could check the lost and found.
—
Somewhere in a dark dorm room across campus, two roommates huddled around a laptop screen watching a scary movie. The pouring rain adding a touch more ambience to what was already growing into a hair raising event.
“Achoo!” Hirano sneezed.
“Bless you, Hirano-san!” Kagiura sang cupping his ears gingerly.
“What’s wrong?”
“My ears feel red hot, like they’re burning all of a sudden.. it’s nothing.”
“Nothing all right.. I bet it’s Miyano…” Hirano’s eyes narrowed into slits. “Pass me a snack, please.”
Kagiura obliged obediently and resumed play, grateful to be snuggled so close to his roommate. “Best idea EVER.”
—
“Jackpot!” Miyano unearthed a large black umbrella from the lost and found once he returned all the room keys to the teachers lounge. He was still wary about walking alone when it had suddenly gotten so dark but knew, if the rain continued, conditions would only get worse and some areas were prone to flooding.
He carefully nestled what he didn’t want to get wet into the bookstore bag that held the latest manga he meant to give Sasaki and put anything he wouldn’t need overnight into his locker. He approached the front doors, bracing himself for the weather just as a shadowed figure burst through one of them.
“Mya-chan, is that you?” Sasaki breathed, inadvertently hunching over his kohai’s small frame.
“Sa-Sasaki-sen-senpai. Wh-what are you doing?” Bewildered, Miyano shrunk away from him.
Sasaki, in addition to being out of breath, appeared to be soaked to the bone and held what looked like an umbrella that had been blown inside out by the wind. “I came to get ya! Seemed like a great idea until my umbrella crapped out,” Sasaki beamed. “Glad I caught you, though. Want me to walk you home?”
“Kind.. he’s so kind.” Miyano couldn’t help but notice Sasaki’s sheepish grin and a silly blush that spread across the apples of his cheeks. His hair, while wet, looked effortlessly disheveled. One hand pushed his dripping bangs away from his face and eyes that studied Miyano intently. “But this is straight out of a BL manga. This can’t be real life. He braved the rain in nothing but his button up, undershirt and school slacks to bring me an umbrella? To WALK. ME. HOME!? What’s worse, it’s working. This can’t possibly be real life.” Miyano could feel heat spreading across his face and made an effort to look away but couldn’t avoid taking in the sight of this giant golden retriever of a person who came to his rescue. “Senpai, you didn’t have to do that…” he muttered.
“Of course, but I wanted to. I realized most people probably didn’t pack an umbrella today so I wanted to make sure you made it home alright. You should care about the wellbeing of people who mean a lot to you, you know?”
“‘Mean a lot to you..’ Sasaki-senpai frequently says things like this without embarrassment or hesitation. I guess it’s what makes me wonder if he’s being genuine. How can anyone be so straightforward unless they were written that way. People like this don’t exist.” Without thinking, Miyano let the end of the umbrella he was holding tap on the floor sending a loud echo into the silence.
“But of course you were prepared! I should have known better.”
“No! Senpai, I actually rummaged for this when I realized the rain wasn’t letting up. If you want, I-I can walk you home so you don’t get any wetter.”
“I can’t imagine how that’d be possible,” Sasaki laughed, letting one of his shoes squish for emphasis. “I’ll change into my gym clothes and we can head out.”
They walked the dimly lit hallways and retrieved a key to the locker rooms silently. Sasaki stole sideways glances whenever Miyano looked deep in thought which was almost the whole time as he kept mentally spiraling over Sasaki’s confession, his sudden heroic appearance and his own shameful use of the word “wetter”.
“I-I’ll wait for you here.”