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Hospitals feel so… weird.
Back in the old days, Sasara tried to stay away from them; he knew how to patch himself up alright, and what didn’t kill him made him stronger, or something, so he just didn’t really go to very many medical professionals. Back when they were just a duo, Rosho had dragged him to a doctor once after a few days of him running a high fever; grumbling all the way but relieved when he had turned out to be fine. However annoyed Rosho always seemed with him, Sasara knew-knows, still-that they care. He hopes it’s the same with Rei.
They’re here, all three of them, after a particularly nasty battle outside a bar in Shinjuku. Rei had insisted on leaving Osaka for this bar in particular to meet up with an old friend, and when they’d left they’d been ambushed and Rei had taken the brunt of the thugs’ attacks. Sasara replays it in his mind as he sits outside the bleak hospital room, hand in the slightest amount of pain from Rosho’s panicked grip, knuckles white as the walls around them. None of the pop of color that makes Dotsuitare Hompo themselves. It’s so wrong.
“He’ll be fine.” Rosho whispers, but when Sasara looks over he realizes it’s more of a frantic reassurance to themself than anything. Mind on autopilot, he reaches over to hold Rosho’s face in the hand that isn’t in their vice grip.
“Hey, Rosho…he’s a strong guy. We wouldn’t be with him-“ a cough, and a straightening of the tie-“be on a team with him if he wasn’t. And it’s just a mic fight, you’ve seen me get worse…”
“I just hate this.” Rosho whispers. “I hate that you have to be all serious and strong for me. That I’m worrying so much.” Sasara forces a small smile onto his face, hoping it reassures Rosho.
“If you’d rather me lighten the mood, gimme a few to whip up somethin’ really awful.” he jokes, voice soft. Rosho, seemingly despite themself, laughs a bit. “But for real…I’m here for ya. Always have been.”
And it’s true-even in those years of separation, even in those first few months where Sasara had chalked his complicated feelings towards the loss of his comedy partner up to anger and coped with it accordingly, he would run to Rosho in a heartbeat if they needed it. Their bond had never truly been broken, and Sasara knows deep down that one day that bond will extend to Rei as well.
(Maybe it already does. Maybe, as he had tried to mend Sasara and Rosho’s relationship he had made Sasara fall the slightest bit in love with him despite, or because of, his secrets. But that’s not exactly something he’s enthusiastic to unpack, and so it stays in its cardboard box in the back of his mind, tightly sealed.)
“I wish I could be here for you too, Sasara.” Rosho says, leaning into his touch. “I’m just…well, you know me. I worry. Even if Rei’s…Rei, I can’t bear to know he’s hurt right now. You’re right about us being a trio. Because, honestly, I lo-“
“Nurude? Tsutsujimori?” A deep but kindly voice interrupts Rosho’s train of thought ( had they been saying…? No. No chance, ) and out of the god forsaken Room 33 steps Jinguuji Jakurai, intimidating and angelic and all the things Hifumi is always quick to refer to him as when she chats with Sasara. He’s not a religious guy, nor does he see this man as some kind of ethereal god of love like some of his friends, but if he’s got to pray that Jinguuji knows what he’s doing then hallelujah, amen, and all that shit.
“Doctor Jinguuji.” Rosho replies uneasily, rising from their shitty plastic chair. “Is he…?”
“Amayado will be just fine.” Jinguuji reassures them, a gentle smile on his face and Rosho seems to unwind instantly. “He’s still…a bit out of it, shall I say, but he should be cleared to go home in a day or two.”
Sasara barely catches Rosho’s watery thank you so much as he pushes past Jinguuji into the room, ignoring the turn of his stomach at the sound of machinery beeping and heading for where Rei is lying, eyes lidded. “Hey, big guy.”
“Sasara.” Rei responds, voice groggy. “You’re still here? Damn, dedication. You and teach should’a gone home.”
“Don’t talk too much, don’t strain yourself-“ Rosho says, suddenly next to Sasara and out of breath. “Oh my god, Rei, you’re an idiot.”
“Thanks for being happy to see me alive.” he deadpans, coughing a bit and Sasara feels uneasy. “Almost wasn’t if what I’m overhearin’ from the doc lately is any indication.”
“Don’t even joke about that.” Rosho scolds, voice firm and eyes cold, but they melt a moment later. “I…I’m glad you’re okay. But why did you take that hit for us? Sasara and I would have been fine on our own, we’re two people and you took a verse meant for both of us simultaneously…”
“Sasara’s always callin’ us a trio so I figured I oughta take one for the team.” Rei barks out a gruff laugh. “You’re welcome.”
“You’re such an idiot.” Rosho repeats, but they don’t take their gaze off of Rei, eyes flickering with worry. It’s the same tone and same look as they gave a feverish Sasara all that time ago.
They care about Rei. It hits Sasara like a truck, they care about Rei the same they care about him. They are a trio. They could be more than a trio. They might even feel the same way about Sasara as he does about both of them. A complete triangle.
He feels like he stands there processing this for hours, standing over Rei’s bed protectively. He only realizes that it actually has been hours when Jinguuji lays a hand on his shoulder. “I believe Tsutsujimori went home.”
“Ah-shit. My bad, doc! I’m a bit tired, you’ll have to be patient with me, heh…” It’s a cheap joke, one he grabbed out of thin air to avoid an explanation as to why he’s keeping vigil over his sleeping teammate. But, unfortunately, Jinguuji is quite the perceptive man.
“You both care quite a lot about Amayado, it seems.” he says, tone even. Sasara laughs warily in response.
“One of our finest! You did a real bang-up job of fixin’ his banged-up self, so thanks a bunch for that, too!” Keep the tone light, Sasara, he thinks. Avoid any weirdly personal questions from a man he’s spoken to roughly twice ever, including today.
“He was terrified when he woke up,” Jinguuji whispers. “I am not one to disclose what people say under the adrenaline of fear or the like, but he doesn’t seem the fondest of hospitals. He…asked for you. And Tsutsujimori.”
Sasara is speechless. So all it took for Rei to be honest was getting his ass handed to him protecting him and Rosho…it’s kind of funny, in a way, but the worry outweighs any of that. “Doesn’t tellin’ me that violate your hifumi-doppo-cratic oath?”
“Not directly. And, besides, he was directly asking for the two of you; I was barely able to explain that you would see him once we got him patched up.” the doctor explains, heading for the door. “Go home and rest, Nurude. He’ll be right here when you come back.”
Sasara does, to his credit, go home, but Jinguuji’s insane if he thinks he’s gonna get any sleep.
-
“Mornin’, sunshine.”
Rei cracks open one eye to the blinding fluorescent lights of his hospital room, Sasara standing at his side right where he’d been the night before. “Did they let ya stay all night?”
“Nah. Doc kicked me out so I went home and occupied myself until this morning. How ya feelin’?” Sasara replies, cracking a smile. He’s so bright and comforting…Rei can’t help but muster up a grin in response.
“Better. I’m a tough ol’ guy, Sasara, I’ve gotten through worse solo.” he laughs, but strangely Sasara just…stares at him.
“Y’know, you don’t gotta do anything solo with me ‘n Rosho around.” he says absentmindedly. Dread grows in Rei’s stomach as he figures that Sasara knows what he’d said to Jinguuji the night they’d taken him in.
“Woah there. You’re both quite attractive but I think we’re skippin’ a step or two.” he laughs again. Humor to diffuse the situation, something he learned from the best.
“Man, y’know what I mean…” Sasara groans, cheeks red. “It’s just that, y’know, you took that hit for us but we’d do the same.”
Rei’s unease grows and he tries to avert his eyes. “Appreciate it, Sasara.”
“I mean it! We care about you, alright?!”
There it is, out in the open. Silence blankets the room and Rei searches for something to say and comes up empty. Mostly because nobody’s said that to him since…well, since she died. Instead, he simply says “That night on Tsutenkaku.”
“What about it?”
“Where you said Rosho trusts me and they…kind of agreed.” Rei elaborates. He might as well go all in now. “Is trust the same as care?”
“…no.” A third voice chimes in, and suddenly Rosho is there, inexplicably. “Sorry, I meant to be here earlier, um. Traffic. Carry on.”
Rei snorts. “You’re just in time for me to make a fool of myself.”
“No you’re not. Trust isn’t the same as care, but care is love, and there…well, the line there’s a lot less blurred.” Rosho coughs, not meeting Rei’s eyes. “You saved us. That’s care.”
The room is once again quiet, before Sasara speaks. “We really aren’t great with feelings.”
“Understatement.” Rei replies. “I will admit, yeah, I care for you guys a damn lot. But I’m not about to get in the way of what you two have.”
“Jesus, do I need a megaphone? Rei! You! Are! A! Part! Of! This!” Sasara nearly yells. “I don’t know what it is but I know damn well that when we figure it out you’ll be there too, so kindly shut your mouth and-“
He stops himself, hand over his mouth in a way that in any other situation might have been comedic, but it makes Rei’s heart twist. “Fuck-“
“Sasara.” Rosho finally speaks again. “It’s okay. We’re okay. We don’t know what this is yet, feelings are weird as hell, and all of that. So why don’t we just…take a step back and try carin’ for each other, nothin’ more?” Their voice is soft, dropping into their Kansai dialect.
“I can do that.” Rei says, because no other words will leave him. Something wants him to tell them to turn tail and run, because everyone who’s ever cared about him hates him now or is dead, and he’d rather let them down than have them resent him once they see him for who he really is. But he wills himself to try, for them, because Rosho is smiling softly at him and it gives him a glimmer of hope that he hasn’t felt in a long time, so he tries.
“Sounds like one hell of a plan.” Sasara laughs, light and easy like the sun. It immediately makes the room feel less sickening to Rei, makes him associate it less with the pain of his past.
Rosho leans their head on Sasara’s shoulder, reaching down for Rei’s hand. The three of them, caring so much about each other despite their own inner battles. And one day maybe this care can evolve into more, but for now, Rei is content to just be as close to them as he is.
(Two weeks later, Rei will be in Chuuohku with Ramuda, bantering back and forth, and realize just what this caring is. But that’s not right now, and so he will continue settling for what he has.)
The moment is perfect, and Rei almost doesn’t notice Jinguuji opening the door. “Amayado! You’re cleared to go home.” He’s smiling again, but much brighter this time. It’s infectious.
Home, huh? he thinks, watching Rosho try their absolute best not to laugh at one of Sasara’s stupid quips, warmth radiating from them both.
I don’t think I have to go anywhere to get home.