Work Text:
“Kunikia-kun?” Dazai said from across their desks.
“What?” Kunikida replied without looking up from his laptop.
“Would you ever marry me?”
Kunikida choked on the question, coughing and sputtering, “E-Excuse me?!”
“Wait no, I shouldn’t ask you. Your answer would be biased…” Dazai sighed.
“Biased? Why? Because we’re partners?”
Dazai smiled a little, “I meant because of your absurd criteria for an ideal spouse.”
“Oh… Right… It’s not absurd, by the way.”
“Even if you weren’t a lunatic, an answer from you would still not be good data, I don’t think.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Calm down, Kunikida-kun, it’s not an insult. It’s just that you’d say ‘no’ no matter what, wouldn’t you?”
“Why do you assume that?” Kunikida asked.
“Are you saying you’d answer differently?”
“I—” Kunikida stuttered, “No…”
Dazai giggled a little, “It’s okay, Kunikida-kun, I figured the objective answer would be ‘no’ as well. You’re not an outlier.”
“Of course, my answer would be ‘no’ but you also have to consider the fact that we’re not romantically involved. Surely, if we’d been dating for several years my answer may be different, don’t you think?” Kunikida said.
“You make an interesting point, Kunikida-kun… One second let me imagine it…” Dazai closed his eyes
“I-Imagine it?! Dazai, don’t fantasise about you and me—”
“Shh, shhh… I’m visualising…”
Kunikida shushed but not because Dazai told him to, of course. Dazai eventually snapped his eyes open as if he’d returned from some spiritual journey.
“I got it!” he said, dramatically, “You would still say no.”
“What?! How do you even know that?!”
“Well, actually, Kunikida-kun, I’ve been lying to you all this time — I’m not actually an ability nullifier — my ability is actually seeing the future!”
“Don’t be stupid.”
“Okay, that’s not true. I do have an imagination though, and from all I’ve observed, you’d definitely still reject my hand in marriage.”
“Imagination doesn’t always reflect reality…”
“So, if we had been in a romantic relationship for several years you’re saying you
would
marry me?”
“I— I don’t know! You can’t know that considering it’s not reality!”
“Come on, put yourself in the universe where we’re a happy couple and consider what your thought process might be… Close your eyes if that helps,” Dazai instructed, gently.
Kunikida gave an exaggerated sigh but obliged — out of curiosity more than anything. He closed his eyes and began to imagine something he’d imagined a few times before. But every time before, he never had a face to assign to the person who woke up next to him in his dream. This time he did though.
He woke up and rolled to his side, greeted with a soft and sleepy smile from his partner. A morning kiss was shared. Breakfast was made. Silence and soft chatter. A pleasant walk to work, arm in arm. It’s nice to work together, daily hassles not upsetting the fondness that runs between them. Quiet moments in breaks are spent together, comforting and reassuring. Exhaustion eating at both of them as they stumble home, once again arm in arm. Collapsing on the couch, soft kisses and tender cuddles refuelling tired bodies. Lack of motivation causing them to resort to ordering food instead of cooking. But it’s okay. They’ll cook tomorrow. Afterwards, they talk softly to each other until they fall asleep, holding each other. When he wakes in the middle of the night, whether it be a nightmare or just a bad sleep, he’s reassured by seeing the body lying next to him. The body that belongs to Dazai. Dazai lying next to him. His heart warms at the sight and he closes his eyes to sleep again, knowing he’ll wake to the same warm body next to him in the morning.
Kunikida then opened his eyes.
“So, did you find your answer?” Dazai asked with a grin.
Kunikida nodded.
“And what did your imagination lead you to, Kunikida-kun?”
“I’d…” Kunikida hesitated for a moment, “If um… If we were romantically involved for several years I’d… I’d marry you…”
Dazai stilled and grew silent. He went pale with Kunikida’s comment. Kunikida must have become awfully red to make up for Dazai’s lack of colour. Soon their silence became uncomfortable and Kunikida felt as though maybe this entire thing was uncomfortable from the beginning.
“W-Why did you even ask this?!” Kunikida blurted out, “I doubt you even know your ring size!”
Dazai returned from his paralysis, releasing a soft chuckle not dissimilar to the one Kunikida had heard in his fantasy, “You’re right, I don’t. I bet you know mine though.”
“I do. B-But I know everyone’s ring size!”
“Of course, you do, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai smiled.
“Dazai, marriage isn’t a necessity… But if that’s something you ever wanted, I’m sure you’d be able to find someone who’d be willing to take your hand. They’d have to be a lunatic but…”
“A lunatic? Like you, with your absurd ideals?”
“They’re not absurd!”
Dazai giggled again. And Kunikida’s heart felt like it flipped in his chest. As it did he realised he may have done something stupid when he imagined Dazai in such a way. Too much fondness… The love from his head was threatening to infiltrate the real world and he didn’t know how to stop it. Dazai’s laugh and Dazai’s smile had become something else entirely now. This was utterly ridiculous.
“Thank you, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai said.
“Huh?”
“For the record, I’d marry you too.”
Kunikida felt like he was dying. Maybe he was being dramatic but there was something in his head telling him that this was it. If nothing else, it was the first time he’d been told that he was worth marrying. That in itself was enough to make one’s heart pound. And it was worse knowing the person who said it had just been in his fantasy, tenderly taking care of his heart with a love Kunikida had never known. He swallowed down his heart as it tried to climb out of his throat.
“Get back to work, Dazai…” he mumbled.
“You got it, Kunikida-kun!” Dazai cheered, actually returning to his work for what must have been the first time in the entire time they’d known each other.
Kunikida pretended to return to his own work too. But in reality, he couldn’t help it as his imagination drifted back to something far from reality. How nice it might be to hold Dazai’s hand. How nice it might be to kiss the ring on it. How nice it might be to call someone his husband. How nice it might be for that sentiment to be returned. Fantasy as it was, he hated how much his heart warmed to the idea. But that didn’t stop him from dreaming. And he doubted it ever would.