Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Tommy fell against the tree, bark scraping at his thin shirt. The moon shone through the canopy falling onto him, it lit the clearing enough for someone to see the state he was in.

But there was no one

Blood dripped down his face, the wounds and bruises that had been inflicted upon him hours before still failing to heal. His eyes were a tired greyish colour, straying far from the bright and beautiful blue his friends remembered.

His friends, did he have any of them anymore? His best friend had exiled him. His father gave him the cold shoulder. His old mentor destroyed his home. His fellow founding fathers didn't care for him. Niki abandoned him.

His brother was dead.

Dream was his friend, at least that's what he thought. Dream's behaviour that evening made him question that. Friends didn't hurt each other. But Tommy deserved it, right? He had hidden his tools from Dream, he broke one of the only rules Dream had given him.

Rules. Did friends have rules? Was Dream in the wrong? No. No no no. Tommy was definitely wrong, why else would he be running, with guilt slowing his sprint. Why would he be guilty if Dream was in the wrong.

Why was he guilty at all even, he's supposed to hate Dream. But, no, Dream is the only one here. Maybe he should go back. Maybe he should return. Maybe Dream would be less mad.

He missed Wilbur. Wilbur would tell him what to do. But Wilbur's gone, he wasn't coming back. He didn't have anyone anymore. Maybe he never had anyone in the first place.

He had Tubbo, but he lost Tubbo years ago. He had done something stupid. He lost his only true friend. Did no one else care about him? Was Wilbur always just using him? Did the other founding fathers simply tolerate him? Did Tubbo truly care?

Of course Tubbo cared, Tubbo would come back for him. No matter what Tommy was going to go back to L'Manberg. To his home.

Whatever this place was to him, it wasn't home. It was never and never would be.

Home isn't a place, home is with people. Right now Tommy didn't have anyone. So nowhere would ever truly be his home. His house maybe, his residence probably, but never his home.

Never again.

So he sat against the tree, staring blankly into the sky, alone. He remembered the dizzying feeling of being that high. The fuzzy blurry feeling he had as he towered higher and higher. He had grabbed anything, and everything in his inventory.

It wasn’t high enough.

It was never going to be high enough.

It was never his time to die.

Clearly, he remembered the swaying world below him as he trembled at the top of the tower.

He took a step off, and fell.

The dizzying rush of air pushed past his face as he fell, turning over and over. It wasn’t a graceful fall. He didn’t quite expect it to be. As he fell he remembered his brother.

He remembered Wilbur.

He remembered watching Wilbur beg for an end to it. He remembered watching Wilbur fall helplessly off the platform. He remembered reaching out, not being able to catch him.

But most of all he remembered the promise he had made that day.

That he would never, never, fall like that.

Tiredly Tommy looked for something to save him. He saw a small pond near where he was going to land. He aimed for the pond and plunged deep underneath the water.

He flicked out of it feeling something hit his foot, he looked down and saw a small rock. He fluttered his eyes a little, shaking out of the flashback, he wasn't there anymore. He was still in the clearing, sat against a tree, staring blankly at the sky, alone.

He got up, stumbling every few steps, and tiredly looking around for any indication of where he was.

If Wilbur were here Wilbur would help him.

But Wilbur’s not here.

And Tommy was lost.

A silhouette appeared in the distance. Tommy could only see his hood. He was wearing a mask.

Was it Dream?

“Shit,” Tommy mumbled.

Slowly he took a step back, before sprinting off into the distance, running as fast as he could. His eyes filled with tears tripping and stumbling over the uneven ground, while quickly dodging the trees as they came into view. He couldn’t let Dream get to him.

Tommy slipped a little, not noticing how the ground was quickly being covered in a light frost, contrasting the warm spring night in Logstedshire. The frost cracking underneath his footstep made him jump a little.

He slowed down and stopped.

The figure seemed to be gone.

It was pitch black now. He was surprised about the little amount of mobs that had spawned. Perhaps there were wolves in the area, killing off the skeletons. He saw a flash of a red cape in the distance.

Huh? Dream’s cape was green.

Frantically he started punching a tree, his knuckles cracking and small amounts of blood trickled down his hand. The tree dropped three blocks of wood, tired he picked them up and sat down. His back leant against one of the many trees in the forest. He sighed and opened his inventory to craft sticks, a crafting table and some sloppily made wooden planks.

He stood up again and placed down the crafting table in front of him. Slowly and shakily he placed a couple pieces of cobble on the crafting table, along with a stick. His eyes fluttered a bit as the materials in front of him flashed white and formed into a stone sword.

Immediately he slipped the sword into his inventory, and put a torch in his off hand. He could see so clearly now. Tommy saw the figure in the red cap and pulled out his sword.

“Dream. Stay- Stay back,” Tommy spluttered, “I’m a- I’m a big man and I- and I have a swo- sword.”

The figure stepped forward slowly, showing his hands. He was unarmed.

But Tommy knew dream, he was never unarmed.

“Fuck- fuck off dream.” Tommy stuttered, holding up the sloppily made stone sword.

The figure sighed, and pulled out a sword. He wasn’t holding it threateningly. Slowly the figure took a single step forward.

And tossed the sword onto the floor before taking off.

Cautiously Tommy approached the sword laid out on the floor. He looked back up to take another look at the figure, who he now knew wasn’t Dream, but the figure was gone, disappearing as quickly as they had come. Slowly Tommy picked up the sword, a purpley glow surrounding it due to the enchantments. It was warm, and it had melted the snow surrounding it.

Snow? Since when was there snow?

He looked around and realised that he was now near the edge of the forest and it faded into a icy tundra Tommy started shivering and picked up the sword to hold for warmth. There was something about the sword he recognised. He wasn’t sure whether it was the craftsmanship of it, or just the familiar glow of enchanted netherite, but it comforted him.

In the distance he saw a warmish cloloured glow. Carefully he moved towards it, putting the sword away in his hotbar. As he moved closer to it, carefully planning his steps as not to make any noise, the glow got brighter. It was a lantern and someone was holding it.

As he got closer quickly he noticed the difference in temperature. The brisk coolness on the edge of a tundra left him in a warm spring night. As Tommy peeked out from behind the tree he had hidden behind, he got a good view of the man with the lantern.

This was Dream.

The soft glow of the flames in the lantern shown brightly onto the clay mask he wore. The mask had a smile etched into it, as if the man wearing it would bring happiness and fun. This man did not. Tommy could see a slight scowl on the part of the man’s face not covered by the mask made of clay due to its cracks. The man was muttering to himself, what he was saying was beyond Tommys knowledge, as whispers of the woods he was in covered the mutterings of the man with the clay mask.

As the man got closer he panicked and got out his sword. Before he attacked the man, he stopped in his tracks and thought. Dream, the man in the clay mask, was stronger than him, physically and in gear. There was a 0% chance that Tommy could over power the man. So instead he would have to evade.

He didn’t put his sword away, instead he got out his stone sword, putting it in his off hand, and used the pair to shimmy up the massive oak he had been hidden behind. Almost silently he perched on top of the tree, the massive branches supporting his weight. HIs five year exile had taken a toll on his figure.

If he had been on this very branch in the early days of his country, it would’ve quickly snapped under his weight, but dream’s food restriction had lightened the boy to the weight of a regular avian. Known to be weighted lightly due to their ability of flight. Some of their bones were hollow, to remove extra weight. They weren't built for fighting, but for constant evasion and agility. Their massive wings were covered in layers and layers of feathers, similar to the ones found on the wings of most birds.

But Tommy and his family were special. For one thing, Tommy had been born without wings. The only feathers on his body covered the edges of his face, which were only there to protect against high winds and low temperatures when flying at high altitudes.

Another thing, his family was immortal.

Ok well not quite immortal, but because his father is married to the Goddess of Death, he and his family were granted hundreds of years of life. So even though Tommy was technically 145, he still had the body, and maturity, of a 17 year old.

His brother was an avian, born with wings. Oh how he missed Will.

His second brother, not biological, is a piglin hybrid, and therefore also lived longer than regular humans, avians and other hybrids.

Most avians would keep their weight and muscle mass down to allow for easier flight, but due to Tommy’s lack of wings he didn’t have to. Of course the limit of strength that he could reach was lower than a human, because of his hollow bones, but he still kept up a higher muscle mass and weight than regular avians.

His time in the nation of the Dream Smp had taken up the majority of his lifetime. The nation was supposed to be a safe sanction for immortal, or long living beings. When he was “11” He and his brother moved to the Dream Smp. Hoping for shelter and peace. The tyrannical ruler of the serve at first denied them entry, but after learning that they were from the Antarctic Empire, an Empire started by their father, he eagerly let them in.

He had hoped that having two princes of the Antarctic Empire as members of his community would create peace inside the empire, but when the Antarctic Empire fell, only ten years after the pair were let in, Dream understood why they had left.

Wilbur and Tommy grew up together, mainly hidden from the rest of the community. But when Tommy turned “14”, he got into some mischief which had started the disc saga. Dream was furious and wanted to kick Tommy out, but Wilbur reasoned with him even though the man was unreasonable. Eventually Tommy was allowed to stay, but all of their things would be taken from them.

This incident made Wilbur think about other unreasonable parts of the nation. Like how there were limits on farms, and potions. The fact that Dream’s army had ultimate power in the court, even though it was promised that fair trials would be held.

Eventually Wilbur decided to start selling potions, to try and protect the citizens of the nation. The incident that followed, when Dream found out, lasted a few months. Dream's army attempted to put a stop to it, and failed, but kept trying and trying and trying.

But when they took Tommy’s best friend, Tubbo, hostage, that was the last straw. And Wilbur’s potion business became a country.

A country Tommy had fought for in the three year war for independence. A country Tommy had won back against his brothers. A country that hated him. But a country that was home.

L’manbergs golden era, or the Soot administration, lasted 12 human years. During this time Tommy was vice-president. He did most of the paperwork Wilbur was supposed to do, often Fundy and Tubbo would pitch in, mainly to stop Tommy from pulling an all-nighter. Wilbur did the planning, and the figurehead stuff, like public appearances. Tommy was behind the scenes most of the time. Not as if he was happy about that arrangement.

During the election of the 12th year of the country instead of WIlbur’s party running unopposed like always a small man named Quackity ran his own party. Wilbur was unphased by this. He knew that Quackity stood no chance, Wilbur and Tommy had a really large following, and they knew very well that they would pass 50% of the votes.

But at the last minute a new Citizen of their country, known only as J. Schlatt ran his own party. Again Wilbur was not worried, he knew they would easily surpass the now 33% benchmark. Which they did. But unbeknownst to them, Schlatt and Quackity had formed a coalition and because of this their votes were combined, and the era of “Manberg” began.

Out of the two of them, Schlatt’s party had gotten more votes so he had become president. In his first speech as president he had exiled Tommy and Wilbur.

That’s when Wilbur broke.

Everything he had worked for in the 15 years was thrown down the drain, just as he was thrown out of his own country. The citizens he had spent over a decade gaining the respect and trust of, drove him out of his own country, taking a life in the process. He lost a life, to a member of his own army.

His country.

His people.

His army.

It wasn’t his.

In 10 words.

In the last 10 words of Schlatt’s inauguration speech.

His whole world was gone.

Things went down from there. Wilbur lost his mind and became fixated on destroying L’manberg. Destroying his symphony before the final note could be played. During this time their eldest brother had joined the rebellion, to help his brother. Paying little to no mind to Tommy’s protests. In Wilbur’s eventual descent into insanity, he had earned respect from the tyrannical ruler of the Greater Dream SMP.

The man in the clay mask.

Dream.

Technoblade, the eldest brother, set withers off on the country near the end of the year-long war to retake L’manberg.

It wasn’t part of the plan.

What else wasn’t part of the plan?

Wilbur setting off the TNT.

The TNT that had been placed underneath the nation as a last resort.

One last surprise happened on the last day of that war.

Their father entered the SMP.

Only to take the last life of his second son.

Of Tommy’s favourite brother.

Tubbo was appointed president, as Tommy did not want to, and he was second in command to Tommy. In Tubbo's third year as president, Tommy messed up. He stole things from the then “King” of the SMP, King George, and accidentally burned down some of his house.

Dream, who had given the crown to George, was furious. He demanded for Tommy to be exiled from L’manberg and the Greater Dream SMP. Tubbo had no choice, the pressure pressed on him to make a decision, not what was best for Tommy, but best for the country.

During his exile, Dream had been there with him. Every second of every day, but never night. For some reason he never stayed at night. From the moment the sun was touching the horizon Dream was heading back to the Dream SMP.

This was the first time in 5 years he had seen Dream after dark.

After a while of aimlessly wandering around, Dream stopped, and so Tommy stopped. He had been following Dream sticking to the trees, his avian heritage allowed him amazing balance and clawed feet for gripping onto branches. Tommy scared a little as he saw a glint in Dream’s eye and a slight smile.

As the man in the clay mask set down the lamp Tommy figured out what Dream was doing. Dream took a stick from his inventory and set it alight using the flames of the lamp. By this time Tommy had taken off towards the tundra once again to escape the flames soon to come biting at his behind.

He was right.

The entire forest burst into flames only minutes after Dream had set it alight. His maniacal laughter echoed through the forest and through Tommy’s ears. As the heat drew closer to Tommy he fell down tumbling towards the ground. The sweltering heat and biting flames nearly broke Tommy, who was strictly adverse to fire having spent the first nearly 100 years of his life growing up in the Antarctic empire. Although he welcomed warm summer nights, spring days, often the summer was too hot for him, and he struggled even leaving his home.

The bright glo of the flames shimmered and shook surrounding him as if he would be engulfed too. He scrambled to get up and continued running towards the moon, that's the direction he ran before, so he should be able to get to the tundra the same way this time.

Sparks flew around him, his vision blurred as he tripped and tumbled through the forest seeing flames coming from seemingly all around him. His eyes full with tears he thought for sure this would be the end of him, this would take the final chance he got at life. A spark flew off the fire and right towards him, landing on his skin he screamed in pain and stopped for a second clutching his upper left arm with his right hand, praying to ExDeity, or XD, for his safety.

His eyes filled with tears he made out a little frost in the distance, his hope returned and he ran sprinting towards it. The crisp coolness of the tundra slowly welcomed him as he got closer. He scrambled to enter the tundra, getting away from the scorching heat reminding him too much of everything he had previously been through, he heard the fizzling of the flames putting themself out by melting the snow.

He fell down into the snow, coughing through the smoke, the snow surrounding him darkening with the ash he was covered in. His eyes were watered down to the level he couldn’t see. The bright red flames against the black backdrop of the sky and the snow surrounding him all blurred into one as he tried to collect his thoughts.

He sat there for a minute.

His senses seemed lost in the rush of adrenaline and fear.

But now he could stop.

It took a second for everything to return to normal. As his senses returned the cold snow below him seemed to burn his bare skin. He stood up quickly, not taking his eyes off the roaring flames, but not quite looking at them. He stood there for a second, his feather covered feet freezing up as he stood still in the snow.

He sighed and shook his head, finally coming to the conclusion that Dream wasn’t his friend. That Dream knew he was in that tree. But as relieving as this realisation was it began to weigh on him how alone he truly was. He had no one now. At least in exile Dream would pretend to be friends with him. Now he was alone. Lost in a world that hated him.

He stared deeply into the flames that had nearly taken him, it reminded him of the rage his brother had shown during their time exiled together from L’manberg. Except Wilbur’s rage was fueled by nothing. And that was the point. You can’t put out a flame if you can’t remove the fuel. His rage would be everlasting, only softening at points to rise up and bite back at others.

Tommy turned away from the flames, running as fast as he could in the direction of a village he spotted in the distance. As he reached it he realised it had been recently abandoned, as there was no one there but it hadn’t been destroyed. He entered one of the small houses. It had a bed, a chest and an unlit torch.

Carefully he lit the torch using some flint in his inventory and some iron that was in the chest. He peeked outside the 9 block house and saw the moon was directly above him.

It was midnight.

He just wanted sleep.

His body was still recovering from the sweltering heat of the fire and immediately going into a freezing cold biome wasn’t helping. The feathers on his face had puffed up, a reaction caused by the quick change in temperature, in an attempt to keep him warm. His feet had also puffed up and it looked like he was wearing a pair of puffy socks.

Usually he hated it when this happened, it was embarrassing and he looked like a fledgling again. But today there was no one here to point and laugh at him, and the below freezing temperature of night in the tundra was beginning to get to him.

He climbed onto the bed and pulled the itchy wool blanket over him, wishing desperately that he had wings he could cover himself with. A thought he had often during the winter months of exile.

He placed the torch next to the bed, in an attempt to keep him warm enough not to die. He curled tightly into a ball on the bed, wrapping himself in the blanket like a burrito.

He closed his eyes.

And for the first time in 5 years..

He fell asleep.

Chapter Text

When Techno joined his brothers in an anarchical war, he immediately knew something was off.

The elder of the two wasn’t acting like himself. He was acting like a flame unable to be put out, like a roaring bushfire willing to destroy anyone and anything in its way, when previously he had been the cosy hearth that you would sit beside reading a book.

The younger one was jumpy and nervous, protesting against the war, like a flickering candle against the winds of the south, when previously he had been the chaotic ball of energy, a beautiful firework, willing to do anything for his brothers.

Despite this he continued, after the demise of the Antarctic empire he had never let his anarchical values slip, and he wasn't going to start now. Especially since this one had hurt his brothers.

Besides he owed Wilbur, even if Wilbur didn’t know it, but leaving the empire had warned Phil and Techno of the empire’s eventual descent. There was no way that Phil and Techno would have survived the attack on the empire if they hadn’t been planning for it since Wilbur left with Tommy almost 50 years ago.

He knew very well Tommy saw him as a mentor as well as a brother. What he wasn’t aware of was the amount of emotional attachment the boy had to L’manberg. After what happened to the empire Techno thought that everyone had reacted in the same way, not being able to call anything home anymore. But Tommy called L’manberg home.

Techno felt attacked by this, as if The Empire had meant nothing to the boy. As if everything that they had built, that his family had built was nothing to him. Like while techno struggled with the grief and trauma of losing the only home he had ever known Tommy could move on with peace of mind.

Techno responded to this by wanting Tommy to feel the same pain he had felt when the Antarctic Empire was destroyed, but in the 7 years since then he realised how terrible what he did was. Tommy was already grieving the loss of power over his home.

And Techno had stood there destroying his home and repeated the same line the ones who destroyed the empire said to him.

Techno stood there in the wreckage of his own home, tears flowing down his face screaming at the troops of his own army to flee and save themselves, when the leader of the empire destroying his had said the line that rang through his head for the years to come.

“You want to be a hero, Techno? Then die like one.”

After that it went black.

He lost a chance at life.

He still had two.

But it hurt nonetheless.

Since then he adopted the catchphrase “Technoblade never dies,” and spent the following years destroying corrupt governments, and empires. But after the war on Manberg, guilt weighed him down too much. He left the Dream SMP and moved to an icy tundra, far away from the nation, the cold reminding him of his Empire. It gave him a small sense of closure.

He didn’t expect to ever see anyone from The Greater Dream SMP ever again. So when he caught a glimpse of Dream while on a hunting trip he got suspicious. Dream was setting up what seemed to be a camping area in a nearby clearing. Techno expected it to just be a holiday retreat for Dream and his friends.

He got worried when Tommy was brought there looking as worn down as a fire put out. Like damp firewood, no matter how much heat given to it it would never light. Like Tommy would never relight.

He spent the next 5 years watching over the pair, knowing well he couldn’t step in. Tommy didn't trust him, dream would hate him. This was a fight he couldn’t win, knowing that was breaking him.

But sometime during the fifth year of Tommy’s exile Dream pulled the last straw.

He attacked Tommy, who was almost completely unarmed, for hiding the things he needed to stay alive from the tyrannical ruler.

This broke Tommy.

This broke Techno.

Techno had to watch his youngest brother build a tower as high as he could. Using seemingly everything in his inventory.

He had to watch Tommy fall.

Techno held his horse tightly for a few moments, feeling the horse's urge to run in and save the boy. Even though Carl was just a horse he had known Tommy his entire life, Tommy was there during Carl's first few days. Tommy helped Techno learn to settle the horse. It was like the pair had a special bond. Carl felt the same attachment to Tommy as he did to Techno.

He watched Tommy plunge into water.

Techno pet Carl softly, calming the horse, before mounting him and riding back to his base. He collected his spare weapons and armour along with his hooded cloak. He didn’t want Tommy knowing it was him unless absolutely necessary. He pulled his boar skull mask over his face, tied Carl to a post, and set off into the forest, knowing that Tommy had run in there to try and escape Dream if he came back.

The warm spring night again confused him when he re-entered the forest, something it had always done, the change of seasons in the tundra was barely noticeable, but in the forest the seasons changed dramatically.

He searched the forest almost top to bottom searching for his brother. Eventually Techno found him, sat against a tree staring blankly into the sky, alone. Techno watched him for a while. He seemed fine. Well not ok, but he looked almost numb. This wasn’t the Tommy Techno knew, but the Tommy he had grown accustomed to.

The Tommy he had watched Dream condition into thinking he was worthless, into thinking that no one cared for him.

Into thinking he was alone.

For a while Techno sat on the sidelines and watched. Tommy was flicking in and out of dissociation, from what he could see. He knew exactly what Tommy’s brain was doing to him. Making him relive that moment on the tower over and over again.

It was trying to understand what happened, like when you replay a song over and over to try and understand the lyrics.

It was trying to understand it so it could help Tommy cope. But it was just making him worse. Techno picked up a small stone and threw it at the boy's foot, waking him out of it.

Techno watched as Tommy stood up and looked around. Tommy looked in the direction Techno was standing in. Techno watched as pure fear filled his face and he stumbled back a bit. Techno heard Tommy mumble shit, before taking off and running in the opposite direction.

Techno carefully followed Tommy as he ran, tripping and stumbling. Once they reached the edge of the forest Tommy slipped a bit, not realising that the ground was covered in light frost. After Tommy stopped, Techno let the boy leave his sight, as he had started to kill off the mobs in the area, making sure the boy was safe.

He returned to see Tommy had made a sword and a torch.

Good. He was at least attempting to defend himself now. That’s an improvement.

Tommy noticed him. Less good.

“Dream. Stay- Stay back,” Tommy spluttered, “I’m a- I’m a big man and I- and I have a swo- sword.”

Tommy thought Techno was Dream, even less good.

He didn’t want Tommy to be scared of him. Not again. He couldn’t handle that again.

He stepped forward, raising hands to show he was unarmed. From the look on Tommy’s face he didn’t believe that Techno was unarmed.

“Fuck- fuck off dream.” Tommy stuttered, holding up the sloppily made stone sword.

Techno sighed, he knew after everything Dream had put Tommy through, as long as Tommy thought he was the tyrant he would never let his guard down around him. He smiled softly, seeing very clearly his younger self in the boy.

He saw a fierce flame, even if it was put out, the sparks flew around igniting the fires of others. The passion in the boy, the courage and hope he gave off, it ignited others. Dream had seen this too, and got scared. Scared that the boy would ignite a wildfire, destroying everything that he had built.

But you can’t put out a gas fire with water.

Techno was wrong.

Tommy wasn’t as worn out as damp firewood.

He was a firework.

Never going to be put out.

Slowly and making sure he wasn’t holding it threateningly, Techno got out one of his spare swords. Techno saw Tommy’s guard go on high alert as soon as he saw the sword. Gently he placed it on the ground. The ground fizzed a bit, as the sword was warm because of enchantments. The frost began to melt a bit surrounding it.

The piglin hybrid took a step back, showing Tommy in every way he could that he wasn’t a threat. The boy’s guard softened a bit at this. Slowly he moved toward the sword. As soon as Techno felt Tommy’s eyes leave him, he ran. He had done everything he could for the boy,

As soon as he was out of view, he slowed down. He knew Tommy could survive on his own. He knew Tommy would be fine, especially since now he had enchanted Netherite. So why did he feel the urge to run back to him? Dream wasn’t in the area, that he knew of, so Tommy wasn’t in any serious danger. Any danger the boy was in he could protect himself with the sword.

But- something was off.

Techno was missing something.

There was some part of the puzzle missing.

Whatever it was he had to find it.

And he had to find it fast.

When he was close to his base, just passing a nearby village he noticed smoke in the air. It wasn’t uncommon near villages, often the villagers would leave their campfires smoking to stay warm. But this village was abandoned. Techno had looted it after the villagers had fled for unknown reasons.

Quickly he turned around to face the forest again. Smoke was rising quickly from it and bright orange flames rose above the canopy.

Now it was Twchno’s turn.

“Shit.” He mumbled, loud enough for someone nearby to hear, but no one was near him, no one would be able to save Tommy.

Except for himself, XD, or Dream.

Techno dropped the torch he was holding, and stumbled into a sprint. He wasn't going to be fast enough. He wasn’t going to be able to save the boy. Now, it was quite obvious the Dream had set the fire, he must have known Tommy was there. In the forest somewhere. It was likely the boy had found Dream before Dream found him, and had been watching the man. This also meant Tommy would have been close to where the fire had started, it would have been difficult for the boy to get away.

Especially since Tommy was avian, he had a natural instinct to go towards the trees. Except in this case, that would be more dangerous, hot air rises and the trees would be the main source of fuel for the fire. ExDeity, or XD is often known for showing up at the worst of times, never exactly helping, and so Techno had no idea why Tommy was such a devoted follower of the god.

This meant the only person who could get Tommy out of this mess.

Was Tommy.

Techno again, could do nothing.

As he got closer to the forest, he slowed down. Keeping a safe distance from the flames, he removed his mask, placing it upon the top of his head. He then started pacing fidgeting with his sword. He knew for a fact Tommy only had one life left. If he died here there was no coming back.

The heat from the flames of the forest felt as if they were burning his face, simply taunting him at the amount of pain his younger brother must be in. Techno was at a safe distance. Tommy was with it. The roaring of the flames was almost deafening, attacking him from every angle, reminding him of the 16th, of the massive mistake he made on the 16th.

Everything was tormenting him, neary forcing him into a spiral. He stopped in his tracks and shook his head, he needed to keep a clear focus otherwise Tommy could be in trouble. As he thought this he saw a stumbling boy in the distance.

Hastily he ran towards the figure, quickly realising it was Tommy. As he got closer he could see no external damages. Other than a small burn on his upper left arm. Probably only first degree though.

Tommy was fine.

It was all going to be ok.

His flame wasn’t going to be put out.

Techno sighed a deep relieving sigh, and slowed down so Tommy wouldn’t have seen him. He watched the young avian for a while, at a lengthy enough distance so he wouldn't be spotted, before he saw the boy enter a cottage.

The piglin hybrid then put his mask back on, the heavy boar’s skull resting gently on his head, seemingly weightless compared to how much it weighed when he was holding it, he then pulled his hood back up so it would cover the rest of his head and set out to find the man who started the fire.

The man in the clay mask.

Firstly he had to figure out a way around, or through the fire. He didn’t have any fire resistance potions, and he didn’t have enough time to get back to his base and get back, Dream would be gone by then. So he settled on getting around it, he had potions of swiftness at least, that would help him.

The piglin hybrid didn’t want to use it until he figured out how to get around the fire. He knew there was an ocean on one side, but it would be difficult for him to swim and he didn’t have the resources for a boat. He knew that in one area of the forest it transformed into a Taiga forest, the floor there is snowy, and most of the trees are covered in snow, or damp, the fire wouldn't be able to reach there.

Quickly he pulled out a map he kept stored in his inventory in case he was ever lost, which he never was, he was the human, ok well not quite human, GPS after all, but it was good to keep handy. He chuffed a bit remembering the amount of times Tommy had gotten lost in the forest surrounding them during Pogtopia. As well as the task of getting him unlost, that seemed to take hours.

Fondly he remembered how he had taught him to use a compass, because somehow that little teaching moment had slipped past both of them when Techno was his teacher back in the empire.

Techno then recalled the moment that scared him to pieces. It was early in the war if he remembered correctly, after two years of planning and tight tensions between Manberg and Pogtopia, they had just made their first move in what would be the year long war between the two factions. Wilbur had screamed at Tommy for messing up something, or whatever, and so Tommy had left the cavern to catch his breath in the forest.

When he didn’t return within a couple hours, Wilbur sent techno out to find him. Wilbur hadn’t shown any remorse when saying it, nor any care for the boy, just as if Tommy was only a piece in his political chess match.

A piece he could afford to lose.

Techno spent about 30 minutes looking for the boy, before finding him, curled up lying underneath a tree, muttering things to himself. Techno didn’t get close enough to hear what he was saying, but he could see tears falling down his face. It was the first time Techno had seen Tommy cry, at least since the Antarctic Empire.

This shook Techno right down to his core, even though he had noticed a change in the boy, it was nothing this big. It was just a slight shiver now and then, often around Wilbur or Dream, as well as the protests against the war. Techno knew he couldn’t intervene here, it would make Tommy worse, the best thing he could do for now was cover for him.

So he quickly set up a meeting with their spy on the inside, Tubbo, and got some quick information. The piglin hybrid then told Wilbur that Tommy was just meeting with Tubbo and that he would be back soon. He wrote this down on a piece of parchment ripped out of one of his many spare books for enchantments, as well as explaining briefly what he had said to Wilbur. He later slipped it to Tommy when he saw that the boy had returned to Pogtopia.

Tommy had looked at him with the most scared expression Techno had seen the boy make, before calming down slightly, when the piglin hybrid smiled softly in reassurance.

He shook his head out of that trance and looked back at the map. He needed to be absolutely certain where this taiga forest was, because if he entered at the wrong place it would be difficult to get back out. There was an area of the taiga that cut all the way through the forest, that's where he would go through, so that he wouldn’t have to go through any fire.

Techno was sure Dream would be on the other side, likely already at the campsite, techno just needed to get there before he made his way back to the SMP. Which shouldn't be too hard, Dream wasn’t in a rush, and he had a swiftness potion.

The piglin hybrid took the potion back out of his inventory, he looked at the silvery liquid inside, no matter how many times he drank one of these potions he never got used to the taste. He had tried making flavoured potions when he was still a teenager, but that didn’t go so well.

Tightly he gripped the neck of the bottle and popped the cork, in one gulp he drank the potion in its entirety. The taste was exactly what he remembered it was, disgusting. Techno gagged a bit at the taste, before storing the empty glass bottle back in his inventory.

His skin glowed a silvery colour until the potion set, and swirling particles started spawning around Techno. It was slightly dizzying, but Techno had gotten used to it. After the amount of wars he had taken part of, he had used potions so much that he had gotten almost completely used to it.

His legs specifically felt stronger already, and he felt like he could run much better. He chuckled a bit to himself, imagining seeing a random dude running through a forest at speeds that shouldn’t be possible for a regular person.

The piglin hybrid then took off, towards the taiga, then through the taiga, then out the otherside, just in time to get noticed by dream. By that time the potion had worn off, it wasn’t of very high quality, and for sure wasn’t his best, but it had done its job.

—--
(dream interlude)

Dream had just been about to step into the portal, leading back to the Dream SMP. He suddenly stopped, the powdery purple that rubbed off the obsidian, puffed up and over Dream, the hybrid sighed with annoyance at the fact he was now covered in purple dust. If only he hadn’t been startled by that.. Wait- what was that? The ears he kept flattened underneath his hood had already spiked up as an instinct at the sudden noise, pushing his hood off of his head, it wasn’t loud, it had just been sudden.

And Dream knew it way too well.

The heavy footsteps, the click of hooves, the jangle of many many gold items covering the man, the hybrid, coming towards him. A man he hadn’t seen in many years, a man he hadn’t seen since the 16th.

The Blade.

What was Techno doing here? Techno shouldn’t be here. That makes no logical sense. And why was he wearing his mask? He only does that when shit is going down. Techno hadn’t been here for exile, and even if he had, Techno wouldn’t care. He didn’t care for tommy. He hadn’t shown any care for the young avian in the three years he had spent in the smp.

Quickly he flattened his ears and pulled his bright greed hood back over his head. He adjusted his mask, making sure that the large crack in it was showing his left eye. As heavy as the clay mask he wore was, it symbolised everything he wanted the nation to be.

A big happy family.

Tommy had been a threat to that family. The hybrid had tried to do it the peaceful way, negotiating with the boy, trying to put out the roaring flames and sparks the avian gave off. But if Tommy still hid things from him, even after everything Dream had done for him, staying with the boy, to watch him, even protect him at some points, then this couldn't be done the peaceful way.

And if taking the last life of the firework, of the boy, was going to protect his nation from values that conflicted with his own.

Then so be it.

—--
(back to techno interlude)

Techno watched with as much precision as he could, as Dream adjusted his mask, and took out his godforsaken axe. The very same axe that had dangerously harmed his younger brother, over and over and over again. As the pair walked towards each other, each clearly thinking of a single goal, Techno saw flashing memories of the young avian, who's honour and life was to be protected in this fight.

Although Tommy may have survived this, he had been broken so many times over by this very man.

By the tyrannical ruler of the Dream SMP Nation.

By a man with ultimate power.

By the man in the clay mask.

And with that, each of them raised their axe. Each with the intent to inflict the final swing. But each, fighting for a different cause.

Dream for himself.

Tehno for his brother.

The clank of the netherite axes echoed throughout the area. The mask placed over Techno’s eyes hid the tears that had formed, wishing he had been able to save Tommy faster, wishing he had been stronger, wishing he hadn’t been a coward. However the crack on Dreams mask showed a steely expression, cold and unforgiving, as if he had lost himself into obsession forgetting the very motives that had driven him all these years.

The swing inflicted cracks throughout each axe, invisible to the naked eye, but the cracks on dreams healed quickly, as he broke a bottle of bright particles below him, healing his axe, and raising his chances. Techno’s axe did not exhibit this ability and this put him as a disadvantage.

Techno watched as Dream realised this, his eyes widening in pure excitement, realising he had the upper hand. A truly sadistic expression covered his face, although mainly hidden by the mask, Techno could see the insanity he had been driven to.

Seeing this he took a step back, stumbling a bit in surprise as he saw Dream’s usually never wavering cool expression change to a callous, truly terrifying one.

Quickly he regained his balance, even more determined to teach this sociopath, not to mess with him, or his family.

Techno took a deep breath in, and once again swung his axe heavily at the man. As axes met in a loud clunk, Techno took note of the fighting style being used for this duel. Dream, a man with the advantage due to having a mending axe, Techno, disadvantaged if he kept his axe.

As the two separated again to take a breath each for themself, Techno scanned ground for any uneven flooring, his final swing with this axe was going to count.

Instead of aiming at the tyrant's head, as he did in previous swings, he instead quickly equipped his shield, and swung it above his head to stop it from being completely obliterated by Dream’s axe. He aimed his axe at the ground just below the man. This tripped him up, and as Dream was thrown to the ground techno switched out his axe with a sword.

Techno held it tightly at Dream’s neck. The man cowering on the ground at Techno’s mercy. He no longer looked strong, no longer looked like a towering tyrant, but a weak man, who could be taken down by a single swing.

The voices that constantly torturtured his mind screamed through his head, all speaking at different times, but all speaking the same thing.

“Blood for the blood god”

Each voice drowned out the others, and if you weren’t listening carefully enough, you just might miss what they were saying. The voices never left him, only softening and loudening at certain times. He tried his best to ignore each voice, listening only when they spoke the same thing. When they spoke this they wanted death.

They wanted to see the death of Dream.

Techno held the sword still at the man’s neck, holding his chin upwards. Dream’s mask had fallen off, more cracks flowed through it, and underneath where it had been wasn’t a strong man. Not a man that had won many battles, but a loser. A weak, immortal being, scared for his life.

Techno knew that Dream still had all three of his lives. He knew this because of the marking on the man’s neck. Everyone had three marks, starting with three, but after every time that they would die, a mark was taken off. Techno had two, Tommy had one, Dream had three.

Techno kept the sword at his neck, but switched it to his off hand, re-equipping his axe.

One final swing.

“Dream was slain by Technoblade using [Orphan Obliterator]”

The server message rang through his head, louder than any voice he could imagine. He had gotten used to it though, as he had heard that message thousands of times before. During his many battles he had fought and killed many people, though none as skilled or experienced as dream was. The duel between the two was shorter than Techno had expected.

Dream was skilled, one of the most skilled soldiers Techno had known of. The fact their fight was over so quickly surprised him, but he knew justice had been served. Dream had not only given Tommy physical trauma, but psychological too.

He had gotten what he deserved.

Chapter Text

Tommy woke up to the light howling of the wind outside his small house. It was still dark, the sun was only just rising.

He hadn’t dreamt the nice dreams he had imagined. He hadn’t dreamt the dreams he had wished for all those years, all those years he spent not being able to sleep.

He dreamt the fire had taken him. He dreamt of his eldest brother. He didn’t know why. He hadn’t seen Blade in years. He hadn’t given him a thought in months. He had sworn to never forgive the piglin hybrid, but in the 5 years of sleepless nights, he had spent a lot of time thinking, and forgiving.

He forgave Eret for betraying him in the revolutionary war.

He forgave Dream for taking his discs.

He forgave Wilbur for not coming back.

He forgave Tubbo for exiling him.

He forgave Techno.

He had dreamt of Techno reaching out his hand and screaming to the boy. His boar skull mask discarded on the floor not far away. He remembered little of the dream, but he clearly remembered the tears streaming down his usually uncaring brother’s face, and the fear in his eyes.

He found himself longing for the towering presence of his brothers. Not just for Wilbur like he had in the past, but for Techno too, as if the man gave him comfort.

As he packed up the little equipment he had, the fledgling thought of Wilbur. This wasn’t uncommon, often the man was on Tommy’s mind, but these thoughts he had only had a few times.

The thoughts of ghosts.

Tommy knew how the afterlife in this reality worked. Each soul passing through to the afterlife, would be given a choice, by Death, by his mother, to either give her a piece of their soul, or to travel through to the afterlife whole. That piece of soul given to Death would be handed to the god of life, ExDeity, and reincarnated as a ghost. It is said that the dead can still see the world through the eyes of their ghost.

This was why Tommy devoted himself to following ExDeity. He, and Tommy’s mother, saw over their reality. His mother, Kristin, was the goddess of death, and order. ExDeity was the god of life and chaos. Tommy saw ExDeity not as a chaotic, unpredictable god, like others did, but he saw himself within ExDeity.

He saw a firework.

Although Tommy had grown up in the Antarctic Empire, a nation known for its ruthless soldiers, and was the son of Death, he had always valued life above all else. Tommy saw ExDeity as someone just wanting people to be happy, by giving people a chance to see their loved ones again.

Wilbur would have been given the choice, and Wilbur had chosen to travel to his afterlife whole. As no ghost showed in his place. Tommy felt conflicted at the choice Wilbur had made. He had come across many ghosts in the time of the Antarctic Empire. There was always something off about them. Whether it was the ghosts of soldiers, forgetting how to hold a sword, or of a seamstress, not knowing what a needle was. They weren’t the person they took the place of.

Tommy knew this.

The ghost that would have taken Wilbur’s place wouldn’t have been Wilbur. Not as Tommy had known Will. And because of this Tommy was glad Wilbur had chosen not to come back.

But.. if he had, if Wilbur had chosen to come back, to send a ghost after his family, maybe exile would have been less difficult, Wilbur would have been able to see Tommy grow up if a ghost had taken his place.

Tommy was at first angry, from the stories he had been told since he was such a young child, he knew souls had three overworldian days to decide if they were to come back or not, and after the three days of hope were over, Tommy screamed.

His scream was heard throughout Wilbur’s country.

Like the bang of a firework.

He now wished once more for his brother. Even if it was just a small part of Wilbur, even if the ghost only looked like his brother. He wanted his Wilbur back.

The Wilbur he had followed for his entire life.

The Wilbur he had watched die.

Tommy no longer felt angry. He hadn’t felt properly angry since the start of his exile. Dream had watered down any and all emotions he felt. He just felt… numb.

He had luckily remembered to snatch his coat at least from the wreckage of Logstedshire. It had a hood lined with fake fur, it was a dark khaki colour. The broken zipper on the front jangled as he put it on.

It had been a gift from Tubbo, the ram hybrid had given it to him just before the final battle for Pogtopia. Tommy had worn it during that battle, and it was stained with a little blood. If he wanted to, Tommy could tell you which blood was who’s.

Because it was all his.

Tommy pulled his hand over his face, yawning, before picking up the sword that the figure had given him. Tommy looked at it a bit closer, before shaking his head. It was way too early to try and figure out who that figure had been.

With the rest of his belongings stuffed into his inventory, Tommy left the house he stayed in that night. Tiredly he looked around the rest of the village. Nothing of worth was found, a few pieces of bread, some dandelions, and that was about it.

He sighed as he left the town. He needed to find a biome that wasn’t just snow. He didn’t have the resources to survive here, and it brought too much guilt with it.

With a smile he looked up to the sky, he felt a pull to it, as he always had. It was a soft orange at the horizon, the sky was still dark for the most part, the clouds dotted across it shifted and changed as they crossed the morning sky.

He longed to have the wings of his brother, or of his father. Maybe then the yearning for the sky would stop. Maybe then the Empire wouldn’t have been destroyed.

Tommy knew all too well that his birth sent shockwaves through their kingdom. For his father to have produced an heir without wings, it was said to be a sign of weakness. It had made the citizens of the Antarctic Empire lose trust in Phil. Tommy knew very well this was one of the factors in the Empire's downfall.

That he was one of the factors in the Empire’s downfall.

Quickly he picked up the pace he was walking at. He kept the sun behind him, moving west, as he knew the Dream SMP nation was to the east. He couldn’t go back there. Dream would kill him. He had no one there he could seek refuge with. He would be found easily and killed.

There was no point in returning home.

Instead he moved steadily west wards, hoping to find warmer land. His vision was slightly blurred with tiredness, he must have gotten 4 and a half hours of sleep max. His clothes were still charred, and he complained about not having a change of clothes as he walked. He continuously walked forward. Keeping his eyes on his feet so as not to trip over.

He took his eyes away for a moment when it happened.

He tripped.

Tumbling into the snow, Tommy couldn’t stop himself.

Everything was dizzying and shaking.

He didn’t even notice the drop.

His fingers grasped onto a piece of root, embedded into the ground. He was tired. He couldn't hold on for long. He looked below him. It wasn’t that high of a drop.

Maybe if he just…

Let go…

So he did.

Tommy fell into a heap at the bottom of the cliff. The snow covering the ground has softened the blow a little. He seemed to be fine, except fo-

“Shit!” Tommy grimaced as a spike of pain shot through his leg, the snow covered him calming the boiling agony just a bit.

He was too tired and numb for the pain to bother him all that much. He couldn’t move his leg, so he couldn’t walk. No one knew he was here, no one would come to save him.

Through the blurriness of pain and lack of sleep, he vaguely remembered something his therapist, government assigned, had said to him.

“Start with your name, the first thing to come after that is what you believe about yourself, Tommy.” Puffy had said with a calming smile, “What do you think of when you say Tommyinnit.”

The fledgling didn’t remember anything past that. What he had responded with was beyond him. All he could do now was engage that technique and hope to XD that it would help him.

“Tommyinnit,” he mumbled,

“Destined to die a meaningless death.”

He already knew this.

Everyone did.

His vision was blurred into colours and shapes, nothing quite looked right. Every bone in his body felt weak, he could barely move most of them. He didn’t have the energy to move at all. He didn’t want to look at his leg anyway. He knew very well it was broken.

He could still hear.

There were too many sounds.

Everything was too much.

“Focus on one thing at a time, Tommy, let that thing, whatever it is, be clear in your brain.”

Puffy had said that the first time Tommy had a panic attack during one of their sessions.

Tommy closed his eyes and searched through the sounds surrounding him. He mentally grabbed onto a familiar thumping sound. He focused on it. He tried to figure out what it was. Why it was familiar. Why it was getting louder.

It was getting louder.

Tommy opened his eyes slowly, he gave it a second to just settle, so he could focus. When he did he saw a man in a red cloak.

It was the figure again.

As his vision steadily focused on the man he realised who it was.

“Blade?” Tommy murmured, still lying in the snow, tears filling his eyes.

Everything blurred into one and he faded black.

The footsteps that blurred through the senses lost in overwhelming stimulation seemed to quicken, as Techno picked up his pace to get to the boy.

Why he was coming was lost to Tommy.

All he knew was that he was safe now.

His brother had come back for him.

—--

As Tommy woke up, he realised that he was still feeling dizzy but the pain that had flowed through his body, throbbing and tormenting him, was no longer there. He was sitting on the floor of a house. It wasn’t a villager house, it was much nicer than that. White concrete walls, spruce highlights. He noticed a few empty potion bottles next to him. The lingering red stain on the bottle told him they were health potions.

He looked up at a noise, seemingly coming from a trapdoor in the corner of the room. Instinctively he moved into a defensive position, before realising who exactly was coming out of the trapdoor.

Techno grunted as he pulled open the trapdoor, and moved up to the ground floor, of what was seemingly his home.

No- not home- house. It was his house.

“Welcome to the world, Innit.” The piglin hybrid acknowledged the boys waking, “How y’a feeling?”

Tommy wasn’t sure if this was a trap. Techno didn’t care about him. Even Dream, who cared about him, maybe, maybe cared about him, never asked how he was feeling. The closest the man had ever gotten to asking anything like that was asking about the therapy sessions Puffy had given Tommy.

“Fine.” Tommy stuttered quickly after realising he never ended up answering, “I’m.. uhh- fine.”

Techno looked at Tommy with a look of clear disbelief in whatever the boy had just said. He never seemed to have the energy to properly emote the way he was feeling. So instead of further questioning the answer given to his question, he sighed and moved on to whatever he was doing.

Turns out what he was doing was getting Tommy something to eat. Tommy refused any help from the man, muttering something about being a big man and not needing help from anyone.

He still took the bread though.

He may be a stubborn child, but he’s not an idiot.

He attempted to get up, mumbling about not being a burden. That was when he realised he still couldn’t move his leg. Techno sighed once more and helped the kid stand, using the crafting table next to him as a railing.

Tommy caught memories of Wilbur in a flash. Memories of the countless times Tommy had tripped over himself, and Wilbur had helped him up, without laughter or mocking, as his friends would.

This caused Tommy to falter once more. He regained feeling in his leg, realising that the health potions must have been for him, and although it had healed his bones physically, his brain still believed it was broken.

“Fuck!” Tommy screeched after failing to stand a third time, he was tearing up, but he couldn’t let Techno see that, he was vulnerable enough as it is.

Techno stayed patient with Tommy. Giving him space when he needed it, working with the kid instead of doing it for him. Eventually, together, they got it.

Tommy could stand.

Which for any regular person wouldn’t be an achievement, rather just a regular thing, but for Tommy, this was the biggest thing ever. His brain was still drowsy and weird from the potions and lack of sleep.

He had forgotten how to stand, and the state his leg was in wasn’t exactly helping. Usually when Tommy forgot something he would never remember it again. For this reason he viewed material objects as high value, as for him they stored his memories.

This victory was celebrated with a mutual exchange of smiles.

Tommy let his eyes tear up, his emotional barriers worn down by tiredness and smashed by the hammer that was this single pure moment. He let himself fall into his brother’s arms. Not wasting the little energy he had on standing.

Techno smiled again at the kid, he then moved Tommy to a bed nearby, seemingly placed for him. Tommy recognised that the blanket that now covered him, was not itchy like the blanket he had slept with the previous night. He let himself sink into the soft bed.

He didn’t want to sleep, he didn't want to eat, he didn’t want to do anything. Why didn’t he want to do anything? For the first time in years he had the ability to do whatever he wanted without genuine fear of the consequences. Sure Blade was scary, but he was also his brother, and Tommy knew, from what had just happened, that Techno wouldn’t seriously harm him. So why was he still scared to do the things that should be natural?

When he was in exile he wasn’t allowed to sit in the trees, he wasn’t allowed to protect himself with tools, he wasn’t even allowed to eat more than what Dream gave him. If he did he would be physically reprimanded, not usually anything serious, just a small scar along his arm or something, but during his first few weeks of exile, Tommy really fucked up.

He screamed back at Dream over something small, probably food, and tried to attack him on instinct. Dream retaliated by forcing the boy to the ground, pushed up the feathers covering a small part of his neck and held him there while using a boiling iron to carve his signature smile into the fledglings neck, where, under normal circumstances, it would be hidden by feathers.

Dream had shoved Tommy into the ocean afterwards to “help” soothe the pain a bit. Some of Tommy's feathers had been signed and it took months for them to grow back to normal. This incident was the one that really forced Tommy into submission. He never protested again afterwards, and always did what Dream said, though for the first year often he did it with a curse word under his breath.

Now, when he’s nervous, he puts his hand over the scar and itches it a little. It took a while for Techno to notice the scar itself, as the incident had happened before he had started to do full time surveillance on the pair.

He recognised it as a burn scar. He also recognised it as some sort of comfort to Tommy. The answer to why it was, was lost to the both of them. Surely by now Tommy knew Dream had hurt him.

And hurt him badly.

Tommy did know that.

He knew that all too well.

But he still missed the man. He still missed the intimidating presence that he gave. The sense of security Tommy felt around him. Whether that security was to stop others getting in.. or Tommy getting out.. is up to you.

On the following days Tommy grew close to his brother once more. Their father visited the day after Tommy stood. It was the first time Tommy had seen his father for quite a while. But the important parts that he remembered about the man were still intact. His wings deep and dark like a void, his skin pale in contrast. Despite his old, old age, his skin was still clear of wrinkles. And his eyes still had a caring touch.

And as Tommy grew settled into a life that he had longed for throughout the five long years of his exile..

That was all that mattered.