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Simon had no desire to return to Hillerska. He thought he might be alright by January 3rd when he had to return to school, but he wasn’t.

He was starting to think he never would be.

For most of the two-week break, he couldn’t even leave his room. He’d spent more time than he’d like to admit staring at pictures of himself and Wille, or articles with their photos side by side. Most of the time, he only moved around the house enough to go to the kitchen, and his phone had been a completely different issue. An issue in the sense that it wouldn’t stop ringing.

Sara, Felice, Rosh, Ayub, Maddie, a couple of kids from Marieberg which he hadn’t heard from in months, some relatives that had tried to distance themselves after Micke. For one reason or another, they were all interested in what he was doing.

Some because they actually cared. Most because they thought he was important now.

He wasn’t.  

Wille had made that abundantly clear. Simon wasn’t important. Certainly not enough to go against the monarchy. Even if Wille loved him.

Because that’s really what had been plaguing Simon’s thoughts for the last two weeks. That Wille loved him . Or had claimed to love him.

And Simon desperately wanted to reach out to him and tell him he loved him, too. But he couldn’t.

He wouldn’t .

Because even though Wille didn’t remember how important he was, Simon did. Simon knew he was important. Maybe he wasn’t important to the monarchy, but he was to many others. Simon deserved to feel important, and he knew it. He wasn’t going to let Wille take that from him.

Not that he hadn’t been in contact with Wille. Because he had. They texted about the holidays, about their families, about missing each other. They weren’t together, and they wouldn’t be, but they couldn’t just turn it off. The emotions were still there and powerful, and begging to be felt. So, no matter how much it hurt Simon to make small talk with him, he couldn’t resist the urge to send Wille a message every few days.

They had already discussed etiquette between the two of them at school. Simon had said explicitly that he did not want to be alone with Wille. He couldn’t be alone with Wille. He didn’t even want to look at Wille, really.

Wille had offered to hide his face with a paper bag over his head. Simon said he’d think about it. The interaction made both boys fall deeper in love, though they would never, ever acknowledge it.

But now Simon was here. At Hillerska. Watching his peers enter the building and trying their best not to ogle him.

Well, some of them were trying.

Others were being very obvious about it. More obvious than they should have been. Obvious enough to remind Simon exactly why they were staring at him in the first place.

That video . 

That damn video. That damn Crown Prince. The stupid things they’d done in the early hours of the morning.

It’s just a building , he reminded himself.

It was only a building. It had nothing to do with what had happened. It had nothing to do with why. It had nothing to do with him, or Wille, or the sick individual who had decided to leak the video.

Decided to make that video.

This was just a building. It couldn’t do anything. It was powerless. It couldn’t make anybody do anything. He didn’t have to worry about the building, or walking up to it, or walking inside of it.

It’s just a building . 

The pit in his stomach, though, felt like it was about to swallow him whole.

“It’s just school, cariño. Eight hours,” his mother’s voice said. 

Right .

He hadn’t gotten out of the car yet. He was just sitting in the front seat, staring at the building, hoping he might disappear if he stayed there long enough.

But he wouldn’t disappear .

No one would let him. Despite the Crown Prince effectively claiming he meant nothing, his face seemed to be the most commonly recognized in the country. You could still find his name - his face - everywhere. Right next to Wille’s, most of the time. This fucking scandal immortalized them forever together, even though they weren’t together. 

“Thanks for driving, mama,” Simon said. His throat felt dry. He was pretty sure he’d had a sip of water only a few minutes ago. He couldn’t figure out why it was so dry. Everything was dry. His skin, his lips, his eyes. The pressure of it all made his chest ache.

He slid out the door and onto the dusty road. People had been staring at him before he got out of the car, but now it seemed to have intensified. Like people had realized he wasn’t going to go away. He could have still run a second ago, but he didn’t. Now his mama had driven away. Sara was already on her way to school up the path.

Now it was just him and his thoughts and the fifty students who were all examining him like he was a lab rat.

It’s just a building.  

He kept his head down. He refused to look any of them in the eye. He didn’t want to give them the pleasure of knowing that he’d noticed them. Simon wouldn’t notice them. He refused . Even if that was the only thought on his mind.

He pulled his hoodie’s sleeves down over his fingers. Too much skin. He was showing too much skin.

Really, with the exception of his face, there was not a single part of Simon’s body that was visible to people. It still felt like too much. They had already seen too much. 

Slowly, he made his way to the school’s front doors. He didn’t want to walk inside. There were more people inside than outside. More people who had seen him like that . More people who knew what he’d looked like in his most vulnerable state. More people who would laugh at him and make jokes about his involvement with the monarchy - not that he could have said he had any involvement with them at all anymore.

Wille denied being in the video. Theoretically, they were all supposed to act as if they believed him. He was the Crown Prince, after all. Whether or not they would was still yet to be seen.

Simon couldn’t tell which would be worse: to have everyone laugh about bringing the monarchy to its knees, or to have everyone pretend Simon had a secret lover. He couldn’t decide which was worse. He was praying he didn’t have to deal with either, but he knew that was only ignorance.

Hillerska seemed to be bigger today. As though it had grown three stories taller while he was at home. Logically, he recognized this didn’t make sense. It was just a building. It couldn’t shrink or grow on its own. It couldn’t stand taller just to intimidate him. It was the same building it had been two weeks earlier. It was just a little colder now.

In more ways than one.

It’s just a building.  

He couldn’t move his feet. They felt like they were glued to the ground. His heart was pounding outside of his chest. He couldn’t look up, but he was sure his eyesight would be fuzzy if he could. He wanted to turn everything off. Wanted to shut off every part of him that was on the verge of panicking.

People were going to talk about it. He’d been preparing himself for people talking about it. He was expecting this to happen. Somehow, he was still freaking out about it.

The first person to approach him was a second year student. Simon recognized him from August’s group of goons, and the only reason Simon knew he wasn’t a third year student was that he had a roommate. He wasn’t on the rowing team, but he seemed to hang around with those boys most of the time. That’s how Simon knew him, despite the fact that he could not recall anyone’s name at the moment. He was fairly certain he didn’t know his own name right now.

When the boy’s arm dropped on Simon’s shoulders, it was heavy. Simon sank under its weight. This boy damn near felt like he was made of lead. “Hey!” he shouted. That attracted an excessive amount of attention. Too much attention . Simon was already having a hard time with the attention when people tried to hide it. Now no one needed to hide it because this asshole had caused a scene. “Can we still call you sosse if you’re getting blown by the future King?” 

Simon opened his mouth to answer, but nothing came out. He couldn’t talk about it, right? Not without outing Wille. Not without hating himself for doing it.

“Fuck off, Max.” Maddie . Thank god. 

Simon and Maddie had spent most of the break talking. She’d reached out to see how he was, and Simon didn’t feel obligated to lie to her. They spoke nonstop for two weeks. You could often find them on video chat. Simon told her about Wille . Not the Crown Prince that he’d hooked up with, but the boyfriend who’d broken his heart.

In return, Maddie told him more about her own life. She’d even come out to Simon as pansexual. They created a bit of a friendship before the video - Maddie offering to bring him shopping and things - but he was really grateful to have her after it.

“Don’t get your panties in a twist, McCoy,” the boy called Max said. “We were just having a bit of fun.” 

Maddie hummed, unamused, and hooked her arm with Simon’s. “Well, no one’s laughing, Maximilian. Except maybe the doctor who dropped you when you popped out.” 

She dragged Simon with her to the school. He couldn’t decide whether or not he was grateful. Sure, she’d saved him, but now he had to go into the school. A school he hadn’t been capable of walking towards five seconds ago. He had to go inside now.

Even though it was warm inside, Simon shivered. In some way, everything reminded him of the video. The hall where he’d first seen it. The room where he’d first been questioned about it. The doorway that he’d had to flee through because suddenly everyone knew .

And everything made him think of Wille. The clumsy Crown Prince, with his stupid charming smile and stupid brown eyes. Everything reminded him of Wille.

And Wille reminded him of the video. 

And the video reminded him of the heartbreak. 

“Are you going to be ok?” Maddie asked when they were finally away from prying eyes. No matter how hard he tried, Simon couldn’t bring himself to say anything. He just nodded his head with a weak smile. He wouldn’t be alright, and one of his lungs felt like it was on the verge of collapsing, but it wasn’t anything to burden Maddie with. “I’ll be around if you need me.” 

Maddie skipped off to find Felice or Fredrika or somebody else whose name began with an F. Simon couldn’t make out the entire name. His brain kind of shut off after she asked if he was going to be ok.

The halls felt lonely. They didn’t always feel lonely. Sure, he had often been teased, but at least others acknowledged him as a real person. Now…

Now it felt like they were observing him. Trying to figure out what he’d do next. Trying to see if he’d give in the minute Wille glanced at him.

The hallways were lonely now. And they felt so small. Like they were crowding him. Like they were burying him.

Like he was a dead man walking. 

He probably should have gone to get breakfast, but he didn’t. Too many people. He went directly to class instead. He sat in the back corner, in a seat he hoped no one would notice, and then he shrunk into himself. Hopefully, everyone would just ignore him and pretend he didn’t even exist like they used to. 

He didn’t want to exist right now.

His luck ran out when Henry and Walter walked in. They both pulled seats up to his table and stared at him. This seemed like a trap to Simon.

“Simon… hi,” Walter started. 

Simon looked at Walter, and then Henry, and then couldn’t figure out what the fuck was going on. “Hi?” he asked.

These two boys didn’t talk to him. They never talked to him. They were on the rowing team together, and they technically had mutual friends, but they didn’t actually talk to each other. Henry and Walter were just there most of the time. 

“We were wondering if you wanted to have lunch with us,” Henry said. 

Simon froze. He searched their eyes for any traces of amusement. This was a really cruel joke. He didn’t know why they would even try to pull something like this. They knew he was all alone here. They’d never invited him to a meal before. They just ignored him most of the time.

“What is this?” he asked dumbly. “Is this a joke? Are you being mean?” 

Both Henry and Walter seemed to be horrified by the accusation. Their eyes widened, and they exchanged panicked glances while frantically shaking their heads. “What? No! No- no, absolutely not,” Henry exclaimed. 

Simon was still not convinced when Walter explained. “We… we should have reached out a long time ago,” the boy said. Simon stared at him blankly. He was losing his cold exterior, but he was still wary. He was familiar enough with the kids at Hillerska to know that they didn’t always mean what they said. “I know we haven’t been- like… the best people, but we’d really like to make it up to you.” 

“We want to be your friend, Simon,” Henry added. 

Simon remained completely quiet for another minute. He wasn’t sure whether it was because he still didn’t believe them or because he was letting them sit in their own doubt for another minute. They had done a lot worse to him than let him sit in uncertainty. Surely, he could let them suffer for another minute.

But Simon couldn’t resist the twinge in his chest at the idea. He could have lunch with these boys. He could sit with them and complain about schoolwork and discuss the football games he’d watched on television. He could make friends. He could have friends for the first time since starting at this fucking school.

“That would be really nice, actually,” he heard himself say. Both Henry and Walter smiled softly at him. Their brows relaxed into an almost relieved look. Simon focused on the fact that they were going to be his first real friends here. He had Maddie, sure, but she was more Sara’s friend than his. And, really, Simon liked hanging out with boys. He always got on better with them, anyway. Unlike Wille, who had always been drawn to girls: girls like Felice.

When Wille walked into the room, Simon’s stomach sank. Simon had been thinking about him all morning, of course, and yet he still managed to be taken by surprise by the sight of the Crown Prince. It was the first time they’d seen each other since Wille confessed his love for Simon. 

Simon never said it back.  

They’d been talking on the phone and texting back and forth whenever they could, but Simon had never said it back. Wille didn’t need him to. They both knew it was there. The feeling. It was there like a heavy fog that covered them both. Three words that filled them both with a feeling of dread. Wille had said it, and no matter how much he wanted to, Simon couldn’t say it back. Neither of them could handle that right now. Not with so much more left unsaid than just that.

Wille was thinner than before, if that was even possible. Simon was pretty sure no one else would have noticed, though. Simon only noticed because it was Wille. Simon had memorized every inch of that body. He noticed that there was some of it missing.

He knew he shouldn’t worry about the Crown Prince. There were plenty of other people who could do that. He shouldn’t worry.

The bags under his eyes, though . Simon was worried about those. Was Wille getting enough sleep? Had he been eating enough?  

Simon knew Wille had spent most of the previous two weeks bickering with his mother, but this was different. Wille seemed completely drained. Like some sort of parasite was eating him from the inside out.

Simon’s heart broke a little more. 

Wille approached him after class. Simon wasn’t technically alone. This wasn’t against the boundaries that he’d previously expressed. He wasn’t all alone with Wille right now. There were plenty of people in the room.

Simon still felt exposed. 

“Hi,” Wille said. His voice was weak and hoarse, and sounded like he hadn’t used it in weeks. Or maybe he’d used it too much . Simon couldn’t tell.

“Please don’t.” Simon couldn’t think of anything more to say. He was on the verge of tears, and having everyone watching them interact wasn’t helping.

Now that Simon was looking, Wille seemed to also be on the verge of tears. This was a lot different from phone calls and text messages. “I’m sorry. I just wanted to say-” 

Simon hurriedly zipped up his backpack and slung it over his shoulder. “Stop.” It wasn’t a request. He was demanding that the Crown Prince shut up. He was fairly confident this was treason, and everybody was watching him. He just felt so exposed . “Wille, everyone is already watching me all the time. Could you at the very least have the courtesy to avoid doing this right now? Not in school?” 

Simon left before Wille could respond. He didn’t even have to glance at Wille to know what was going on. Wille was running a hand through his hair. He was staring at the ground with guilt in his eyes. He was biting back sobs as the other students watched his reaction carefully. Just because Wille denied Simon didn’t mean that everybody didn’t know the truth. They knew it was Wille in the video. They knew it was an ugly split between the two of them. Whether or not they knew about the relationship, they knew that Simon and Wille weren’t on speaking terms.

At least not today . 

They didn’t see each other again until lunch, which Simon found himself thankful for. Wille seemed to take Simon’s demand as an answer. He didn’t want to talk to Wille. The Crown Prince was the last person he wanted to talk to. He didn’t even want to see Wille. 

And Wille backed off. Completely. 

Maybe they’d still text, but they weren’t going to be having any more conversations. It was too hard now that they were back in school.

Simon sat at lunch with Henry and Walter, as promised. They avoided talking about the video. In fact, they didn’t even ask about it. Simon realized quickly that these were the first people in a month who hadn’t immediately asked him about Wille when they began a conversation with him. They spoke about other things. School, video games, movies. 

Henry even asked Simon around to their room later in the week so they could play Mario Kart. “Only if you want to, of course. I’m sure you’re still not thrilled about being our friend,” he’d said.

Simon even managed a smile in response to that. A genuine smile.

Wille ate his lunch by himself. Simon’s attention was immediately drawn to him. It wasn’t something he could stop. For the last three months, he’d been looking for Wille at every meal, and it had become a habit. Simon and Wille were pulled together like magnets. Everyone could see it.

“Why aren’t you eating with him?” Simon asked his two new friends. He was still a little uneasy about calling them friends, but that’s what they were, right? He was sitting with them during a meal, he was enjoying their company, he wanted to do this again. They were friends now. 

Walter played with his peas uncomfortably. “We… uh- we asked him, but he said you probably wouldn’t want him here. We asked you first, so…” 

Simon played with his own peas uncomfortably now. “Yeah… he was probably right,” he agreed. Because, honestly, he didn’t want Wille here. Had Wille been here, he probably wouldn’t have made a big deal about it, but he really didn’t want to sit across from his ex-boyfriend at lunch. He didn’t even want to sit with him in the same room at lunch, but he couldn’t just leave. “Still, I thought you two would have wanted to sit with him. He’s your friend, right? And the Crown Prin-” 

“Simon,” Henry cut him off. Simon hadn’t realized Henry had grabbed his hand until right now. Not toxically masculine, then. Doesn’t care about the gay thing, Simon thought to himself, though he would never say it out loud. Henry drew his hand away from Simon once he had his attention. “I know you two aren’t- like- actually fighting… but we’re on your side.” 

That was the first time Simon had considered that there may be two sides to this. Because everyone at school knew that it was Wille in the video. As a result, everyone knew he’d lied. Everyone knew he’d abandoned Simon in this situation. Left him alone. People were choosing sides, whether or not he and Wille wanted them to. The sides were forming anyway.

“He did a bad thing,” Walter continued. The three of them looked down the table at Wille, who was pushing food around his plate and not eating it.

Simon wanted to make him eat it because Wille clearly needed to eat, even if no one else would acknowledge or notice it.

“He shouldn’t be rewarded for that,” Walter said. “We’re still his friend, but we’re on your side.” 

And although it still hurt to look at Wille, Simon felt a little better. He nodded and turned back to his friends with a new topic of conversation. He mentioned how he should bring them to Bjärstad sometime. How Walter and Ayub would get along seamlessly. How Rosh would beat Henry at a football match. And they seemed truly interested in what he had to say.

Simon realized, for the first time, that he had friends at Hillerska.

Even if it hurt to see Wille here every day, he didn’t want to leave.

Class  

Simon had finally moved up a few rows in class. He was now sitting next to Walter. Sara had gone to sit beside Felice for reasons Simon didn’t entirely understand. But he’d been friends with Henry and Walter for a few weeks now, and things seemed to be going well. Since Alexander had left, Walter was sitting alone, so Simon easily found a seat next to him. Simon didn’t hide at the back desk like he used to. He also stopped hiding from the other students during meals. He’d started answering in class when he was called on instead of shrinking into his seat and fighting away a panic attack when everyone stopped and looked at him.

Things were going fine.

People still talked about the video. It was pretty much all they talked about, but Simon had a safe group of friends who wouldn’t ask him about it until he brought it up. Henry and Walter had become a good support system for him, and Maddie was still there for him when he needed her. Almost all the girls had ended up hanging out with Wille and Felice, though, so Simon had tried to distance himself.

He still wasn’t talking to Wille. 

Wille was not as fine as Simon. He had isolated himself at the back of the classroom for most of their lessons. He sat alone much of the time. His seat was next to Henry, but Henry spent a lot of time with Simon and Walter. It had been made clear that Wille wasn’t particularly welcome at these hangouts. Since Simon was not yet ready to talk about it, Wille spent most of his virtually nonexistent spare time with Felice.

People avoided talking to him when it came to the video. They didn’t bring it up to him because they knew he couldn’t talk about it even if he wanted to. They snickered at him in the hallways sometimes, but they said nothing. He was the Crown prince, and he’d made a public statement about not being in the video. It would be inappropriate for anybody to ask him about it. And he couldn’t talk about it. Even if he wanted to - which he did sometimes .

He’d been arguing with his mother about coming out for about a month. Ever since he’d released the statement denying the video. Even more so after learning that August was the one who had created it.

She wasn’t against him being queer - that was the first conversation they’d had. It had also been a very lengthy conversation. Kristina had no problem with Wille being queer. She loved him just the same. She guaranteed him that she had no quarrel with whoever he decided to sleep with. She was just concerned about what that would mean for him. For the monarchy . She would have liked it if he had done those things in secret. That had sparked a completely different argument about how he wouldn’t be able to keep a fundamental aspect of himself hidden from the public.

He wanted to come out. She wanted him to come up with a label for himself first.

He wanted to retract his statement about the video. She wanted him to come up with a compelling reason for lying to the whole fucking country before he did.

He wanted to be with Simon. She wanted him to consider the consequences of his actions before committing to them.

Kristina was not against it. Not entirely. She just wanted him to think these things through. Part of that was him continuing to behave as if he had nothing to do with the video. At least for another month or two. Until he had a reason to take back the denial, until he had a label to offer to the nation, until he had Simon.

She’d made a compromise about Felice. He was allowed to talk to her about all of it . She was asked to sign a non-disclosure agreement. Wille had screamed at his mother for it and torn up the contract in front of her. Felice was a friend . She wouldn’t tell anybody.

As an act of good faith, Kristina believed him. Felice was the only person who knew everything . Including Wille’s plans to come out in the next couple of months. A lot of work was done in a very short time for this. Wille immediately wanted to retract his statement regarding the video after he’d said it, and he was now working around the clock to fix the situation. There were only a handful of people that knew about these plans. Felice, Maddie, Vincent, and those at Drottningholm who would be involved in the preparations. That was it .

So, now, he was sitting in the back of the classroom. He was moving through lessons like a zombie. He was ignoring the thoughtless comments made about his sexuality. He was giving Simon the space he’d demanded, despite every cell in his body wanting to shout for Simon to look at him. He wouldn’t . To most others, it seemed as if he had just checked out. They had absolutely no idea how much was going on in his head.

The only time he allowed himself to look at Simon - really look - was when Simon was passionately arguing in Political Science class. Wille knew he wasn’t supposed to talk in this class, but he couldn’t help but nod along with everything Simon said. Wille wasn’t even sure why he was still in this class. He may have been a political figure, but he wasn’t allowed to actually have opinions on politics.

The topic of the day was employment practices in capitalist societies. Whether it was fair or not or something of that nature. Wille was much too exhausted to pay attention to this class. The teacher wasn’t going to fail him. They couldn’t. He literally wasn’t allowed to participate in any of this shit. Failing him would mean that he’d somehow failed at failing the class. 

He was not watching Simon argue his point. He couldn’t. He stared at his own hands, attempting to keep himself under control. Simon was very obviously passionate about this topic. Because he was always passionate. It was one of the things Wille liked - no, loved - the most about Simon. How passionate he was. 

But, since Simon was so passionate about this, someone else was there to irritate him. Someone was always trying to irritate Simon these days. They all thought Wille didn’t notice. Or maybe they thought he didn’t care because he hadn’t said anything. 

He knows, of course, that they all whisper about Simon. He knows they pretend they don’t when he’s around. Wille knows. Because he noticed everything. 

He noticed Simon shrinking into his own body during the first week of this term. He noticed the other students laughing at him and whispering to him and to each other. He noticed that Simon tried not to show how upset he was by it. He noticed that Henry and Walter had started snapping at people who brought up the video. He noticed that the two of them and Simon had gotten rather close in the last few weeks. He noticed that Sara had become more distant from her brother. He noticed how the other students watched Simon constantly. He noticed the jokes, and giggles, and passive aggressive statements about fucking the monarchy. 

Wille noticed it all . Even if they thought he didn’t. 

Wille and Simon were not together. Everyone knew it. Nobody questioned it.

They didn’t know there was anything to question, really. There were only a few people who knew the extent of the relationship between Simon and Wille before the leak. Not even August knew what he’d captured on video, nor what he’d released to the media. No one knew. Wille was pretty sure that this was best for both him and Simon.

This way, there was no one from the internet trying to document their messy and painful breakup.

The only thing the students at Hillerska knew was what they’d seen in that video. They all thought it was a drunken hookup. A one-night stand gone horribly wrong. 

They didn’t question it because they didn’t know any better. 

People knew shit must have gone down, though. Wille and Simon were at the very least friends prior to the leak. They all knew about the video, and that it was Wille and Simon in the video, and that Wille had denied his own participation. They all knew that Simon and Wille couldn’t look at each other now, which was a pretty good sign that something pretty bad had occurred. 

However, the class really wasn’t thinking about the boys at the moment. They were far more interested in getting Simon worked up. Which, Wille supposed, was kind of the same thing. They wanted to get Simon worked up so they could continue to taunt him. They wanted to make him dance like a puppet. 

Wille’s skin crawled as he thought about it. He did this. This was his fault . 

Simon was rolling his eyes, though Wille didn’t need to even look at Simon to know it was happening. He knew Simon well enough to know what triggered an eye roll. “Well, not all of us are rich and white and can spend daddy’s money to get a job we want,” he said, rather impolitely. 

Wille smiled to himself at the comment. He wasn’t supposed to show support for either side of this debate, but he was obviously not hiding his opinions very well. He genuinely agreed with his ex-boyfriend on most things. Simon had always been a force to be reckoned with.

But it was the other person who finally got Wille to look up from his hands.

Milton. “Well, we can’t all sleep our way to the top like you, Simon.” 

Wille couldn’t stop his hand from moving. It slammed down heavily on the table. Open palm. It was loud enough to shake the tables. Maybe loud enough to shake the walls. It was certainly loud enough to put a stop to the conversation. The abrupt noise made one of the girls in front of Wille yelp. Wille’s attention remained angrily fixed on Milton.

Milton , who had gone an impossible shade of red at his own comment. A comment he probably didn’t mean to make.

Wille continued to avoid Simon’s eyes, but out of the corner of his eye, he noticed Simon looking down in shame at his lap. It infuriated Wille even more.

“Enough.”

One word. That’s all it took. One word. 

Wille felt like his voice wasn’t even his. He sounded eerily similar to his mother. It sounded too regal. Too demanding.

You sound like Erik, a voice in his head told him. 

One word. And there was complete silence in the classroom. The conversation had dropped.

Wille - no, this was Prince Wilhelm , now - had never spoken up in class before. Wilhelm had only shown this side of himself once or twice since being named Crown Prince. Wille’s authoritative side was hidden deep inside him, practically buried, and it only emerged when he was trying to protect Simon. Against August. Against his mother. Against Milton .

Prince Wilhelm only showed up when he needed to protect Simon. And it made people listen. Wilhelm was rather uneasy about just how effective it was. The class had gone deafeningly silent, and all he had said was one word. 

Everybody knew it was bad if Wilhelm was willing to smack his hand on the table in order to make people pay attention. Everyone knew it was bad if Wilhelm was willing to give someone an order. Everyone knew . Because Wille was sweet, and sensitive, and charmingly clumsy. But Wilhelm was the Crown Prince, and he absolutely didn’t fuck around about things. 

Wille didn’t look at Simon. Not once. He refused. He’d made a promise to Simon to give him space, and he wasn’t about to violate it just because he’d frightened himself with his own voice.

Simon didn’t look at Wille. Not once . He refused. He was on the verge of tears, and he wasn’t going to break down just because Wille had finally stood up for him.

There was that word hanging in the air. Enough. It was an unspoken understanding that he wasn’t just talking about the class. He was talking about it all. Everything they’d been saying and doing to Simon at Hillerska since the video was released. The gossip, the rumors, the slander, and the snarky remarks. All of the shit they were giving Simon for the video, as if he’d chosen to have that part of himself shown to the world. 

Enough. 

Wille had finally snapped. 

And Milton still looked impossibly red. He’d said this thing, and he couldn’t take it back. He didn’t even know where it came from. Yeah, he’d been teasing Simon like the others, but he didn’t know he’d had that comment sitting inside of him. He didn’t even know why he’d said it. “I- I’m so sorry,” Milton whispered. “I did- I didn’t-” 

Wilhelm was having none of it, and he was taking advantage of the lingering eyes on him. “I said enough.”

Milton snapped his mouth closed and turned back to the front of the room. 

The teacher at the front of the classroom was at a loss for words. She couldn’t exactly pretend that the interaction hadn’t happened. She couldn’t scold Milton and scare him any more than Wilhelm had. She couldn’t apologize to Simon without making the whole situation worse.

Silence continued to hang in the air. 

But then a girl chose to protect the little rodent that Wille had just screamed at. Her name was Alice, and Wilhelm had neglected to properly introduce himself to her. “Wille, it’s not like he meant anything by it,” she said. Wille saw red as he looked over at her. “Simon was caught on camera being a slut. You can’t expect us not to bring it up.” 

Everyone on Simon’s side shouted their disdain in tandem. That group of people consisted of Wille, Felice, Henry, Walter, Maddie, Fredrika, and Milton . It was not lost on Wille, nor Simon, that Sara had not been one of those people. But Wille had never been more livid in his entire fucking life. 

Simon was not a slut. He had never been a slut. Not even when he’d been caught on camera. “In case you haven’t noticed, Alice, I was doing a hell of a lot more in that video than Simon was,” he shouted before he could think about it clearly enough. 

Felice nearly leaped out of her skin. “Wille!” she scolded. 

Wille glared over at her indignantly. “ What?” His voice was laced with anger. It dripped from his lips. He was livid. No, it was worse than that. There wasn’t a word to describe just how angry he was.

His expression softened only slightly when he saw the very real panic in Felice’s eyes. “You just admitted to being in the video,” she said softly. 

And fuck, because she was right. He had. He’d confirmed, at least somewhat publicly, that he had been in that sex tape. Something that he was absolutely not supposed to do yet. 

He wiped over his face with his hand and took his phone from his pocket. “Fuck,” he whispered to himself. He got up from his seat, still making an effort not to look at Simon, and made his way to the door. “I have to call my mother and make sure I didn’t just commit treason,” he told the teacher on his way out the door. No one was going to stop him, even if he didn’t give an excuse. Not after what just happened.

Malin had been standing outside, and Simon had caught her eye as Wille walked out of the room. He didn’t even have to talk to her to know she’d heard everything. She offered Simon a small nod of encouragement as Wille closed the door.

No one spoke for a really long time. They all stared at Simon for a really long time. Of course, they all knew Wille was the person in the video with him, but now it was confirmed. Simon had slept with the Crown Prince. They didn’t know what to do next. No one was sure what to do. Most of their gossip was gone now that they couldn’t taunt him about who the other boy in the video was.

Because now they knew. 

The room was so quiet that they could hear the beginning of Wille’s phone call from across the hall. “ Hej, Mama. I think I did something really stupid.” 

Chat  

Wille knew he needed to tell Simon about August. He’d been trying to summon the courage to do it for three weeks. He couldn’t figure out how to approach the situation. He’d have to get Simon alone, which would be challenging. Simon refused to even sit at lunch if Wille was there. Trying to get the boy alone was going to be like pulling teeth.

They’d become somewhat more comfortable in each other’s company. They had too many common friends to not sometimes end up in the same place. They couldn’t ignore each other in class, either. Wille was pleased to report that they had only cried or had a panic attack in front of each other twice in the previous week.

It was an improvement, if nothing else.

But he couldn’t just ask Simon to join him some place in private. Simon didn’t want to even look at him. Talking with Wilhelm was probably the last thing he wanted to do. Both of them knew that the Crown Prince deserved a solid punch to the teeth.

But Wille had a plan, and that plan involved outing August as the person who made the tape, and he needed to tell Simon before that happened. 

However, every time he tried to speak with Simon, he backed out. Instead, he spent much of his time down by the lake, trying not to panic and planning out how to tell Simon what had really happened. The practice wasn’t working.

Simon was doing a little better. People gradually stopped staring at him after Wille’s outburst. The news of that fateful class had quickly spread throughout Hillerska. Rapidly . No one wanted to provoke the Crown Prince’s wrath once again. They still stared at Simon a lot, and sometimes they still taunted him, but it was dying down. Enough that Simon didn’t cower every time somebody said his name.

Since that class period, no one had asked him about Wille, but he was starting to suspect they were all realizing that they had been more than just friends. More than just friends who had hooked up once, at least. No one would say it, but they were all catching on.

He was walking through the halls with Henry and Walter when he ran into Malin for the first time in a week. Wille had kind of been in his own world lately, and Simon had noticed. He was worried. He wouldn’t deny it. He was worried about Wille. He’d even started watching Wille, only to notice that Wille was never watching him. 

Simon was kind of flattered by it, strangely. He’d asked Wille to back off, and Wille had. Knowing that Wille had respected his wishes, even though Simon knew he’d been rude, made his heart flutter a little.

But Malin wasn’t with Wille right now.

“Hej, Simon,” she said as she approached them.

Henry and Walter exchanged anxious glances. This was the Crown Prince’s head of security. Really, they weren’t supposed to speak to her. She was supposed to be seen, not heard, and she was much more important than either of them. They didn’t think they were allowed to talk to her.

Simon wasn’t at all freaked out by it, though. “Hej, Malin,” he said. He immediately noticed that she was dressed more casually than normal. Her hair was pulled back into a ponytail instead of a bun. She’d opted for a bomber jacket instead of a blazer. “You have the night off?”

Malin nodded, a smile on her face. “Angelica’s in town for the night,” she said. Angelica was Malin’s wife, Simon knew. She worked for palace security as well. He didn’t want to think about why she was here. He chose to believe it had nothing to do with the queen. He didn’t think he could handle a surprise visit from Kristina right now, and he knew Wille would crack under the pressure. “I’ve been meaning to ask, actually-” the bodyguard cut herself off.

They’d always had a laid-back relationship. Simon knew Malin quite well. He’d made it a habit of talking to her. He admired her for being so open about her sexuality, especially at work.

“I don’t know if this would be speaking out of turn, actually,” she said after a moment. “I was wondering if I could get your mama’s cookie recipe. Angelica’s been asking about it.” 

Simon chuckled softly to himself. Malin could be a little too professional at times. She knew how to have a good time and was always joking around with Simon, but she was very aware of her position. Even though Wille desperately wished for her to be herself.

There was no such thing as “speaking out of turn” to Simon. He held no real importance with the monarchy. In that sense, she was considerably more significant than he was. Nevertheless, she was one of the few people who actually knew how precious Simon was to Wille, so she treated him as if he were a fucking unicorn . That was easy enough, considering how much she absolutely adored him.

“I’ll text it to you,” Simon laughed. He spared a glance behind her, where the other bodyguards were stationed outside Wille’s bedroom. His mood instantly soured. He didn’t want to ask, but his heart still ached when he thought of Wille. Wille all by himself . “How is he?” Simon asked. 

Malin sighed as she glanced over her shoulder. “He’s… being himself. Anxious and mopey,” she said. Simon nodded to himself. Of course, he already knew that. “He’s been meaning to ask you to speak with him, but he keeps talking himself out of it. He spends a lot of time at the lake.” 

Simon couldn’t stop himself. It was January. Wille probably shouldn’t have spent so much time at the lake. He’d freeze to death. “Is he bringing a scarf? It’s cold,” he blurted out. As soon as the words left his mouth, he jerked it shut and slapped his hand over his lips.

Why did he just say that? Why on Earth would he ask that? What was the reason? 

He was sad and gay and disastrous. What the actual fuck?  

Malin, on the other hand, only laughed to herself and stroked Simon’s shoulder. Simon often thought that she should have children of her own. She treated Wille as if he were her own kid, although he suspected it was more because of her previous friendship with Erik than anything else. Malin had been a member of Royal Security since Erik was fourteen, and she was eighteen. It had been an extremely easy decision for Malin to become the head of Wille’s security, despite her young age. She’d accepted the position without hesitation. 

“Don’t worry. I’m taking care of him,” she said. And they all knew it was true. She did take care of Wille. She always had, and she always would.

Simon exhaled slowly. He hadn’t been holding his breath or anything. It wasn’t like he couldn’t breathe because he was thinking of Wille sitting alone by the lake in the cold. He wasn’t having any problems breathing. He wasn’t. He was breathing just fine. He swears he could breathe before right now. It still felt like a relief, though.

Malin could see it all over his face. “Try to keep an open mind if he asks you to talk, though. Alright?” 

Simon slowly nodded. Since the first time they had seen each other again, he had been working up the nerve to approach Wille. It had been three weeks. He’d been trying to work up the courage to talk to Wille for three weeks. So, of course, he agreed with Malin. He wanted to talk with Wille. He did. 

Malin walked away, leaving Simon alone with his thoughts. 

Alone with his thoughts and Henry and Walter, who were staring with their mouths agape like fish. Simon had almost completely forgotten about them. He’d been engrossed with Malin, with Wille, and with his irrational feelings, and he’d forgotten that he was standing with other people. “What?” he asked, feigning confusion at their confusion. 

Henry and Walter exchanged a brief glance before turning their attention back to him. “Simon… you-” Henry shook his head awkwardly, a grimace forming on his face. He also didn’t want to have this conversation, but they all knew they’d be thinking about it until they did. “You and Wille weren’t just a one-night stand. Were you?” 

Simon pulled the sleeves of his hoodie down over his fingertips. “No… no, it was more than that,” he said. It was the first time he’d discussed Wille with either of them. The real Wille. Not the one he’d been pretending existed. Not that boy from the video that had gotten leaked. Wille .  

Walter coughed nervously and clutched his books to his chest even tighter. “How long were you guys- like… a thing?” 

Simon kicked his feet against the floor and tried his best not to look too upset about the question. He had told no one about Wille. Sara had figured it out, and he told Maddie most of it, the same with Rosh and Ayub, but no one knew when they’d started being Simon and Wille . They didn’t know when they went from friends to more than that.

For a really long time, Simon didn’t even know when they’d gone from friends to more. He’d had a lot of time to think recently, and he was beginning to wonder if they ever had been friends.

Had they always been more? 

But Simon knew the exact second he’d realized Wille liked him. He could pinpoint it on a timetable. He could see it vividly in his head. It followed him into his dreams. It played on a loop in his nightmares. Sometimes he wished he could go back and never let it happen.

“His initiation party,” Simon whispered. He squeezed his eyes shut as Henry and Walter made small noises of shock. Simon was fairly sure Walter had choked on air. “August was right when he said Wille had snuck off with someone… he just didn’t know why or who. We didn’t do anything, but… I think that’s when it started. That’s when we started flirting.” 

Henry’s mouth opened and closed a few times. He was at a loss for words. Walter didn’t know what to say either. Sure, they’d observed little things between the boys since the beginning of the school year, but they hadn’t known they’d had something going on for so long. To be completely honest, they both thought Simon and Wille were just experimenting in the video. That it was a one time thing.

That’s what they thought. 

They were wrong.

“Wille’s initiation party was in September, ” Henry pointed out, finally finding his voice. Simon nodded in agreement. “You two were going out for three months before the video?” he asked. There wasn’t much surprise in his voice. He’d kind of seen this coming, though he’d been trying to push away the conclusion.  

Simon nodded once more. He was willing himself not to break down in tears. He refused to cry in front of them. Not about Wille. That was too humiliating.

Simon tried not to shriek as Walter dragged him into a bone-crushing hug. “I’m so sorry,” he whispered into Simon’s shoulder. “That must have been so hard for you. Both of you.” 

And all Simon could do was nod. Because yes, it had been hard. For both of them. Simon wasn’t even mad at Wille for denying the video. He knew what would happen if Wille admitted to it. He knew it would cause chaos. He knew he would never be left alone. He knew Wille would never be left alone. He knew how disastrous it would be to the monarchy’s carefully crafted image.

Simon wasn’t even mad. He wasn’t mad at Wille. He was just so… heartbroken. And he knew Wille was heartbroken, too.

Wille finally approached him the following day during lunch. For the first time in three weeks. Since the first day of term when Simon snapped at him and asked him to leave him alone. Wille had finally worked up the nerve to walk all the way over to where Simon was sitting with Henry and Walter.

He thought about it sometimes. He’d sometimes even get a few steps into the journey. But every time, without fail, he’d panic and flee the room. It was a routine most people had noticed. One of them - Simon or Wille - was always running away from the other. They couldn’t bear to look at each other for more than a few seconds.

“Simon,” Wille acknowledged slowly. Simon looked up at him, trying his best to disguise the heartbreak in his eyes, but said nothing. “Would you- can we- I was wondering if you might… be willing to chat?” 

Simon froze in place.

Chat.

The last time they’d had a chat was when Wille found out about his dealing. They’d argued. That was the last time Wille had asked him to chat. 

Chatting had a light connotation to it. Chatting was playful. It was fun. It was something you did with your friends to pass the time. Chatting was usually a happy thing. 

Not with Simon and Wille. Chatting, for the two of them, was always laced in dread. Chatting was worse than talking. Chatting usually meant that something had gone terribly wrong.

Simon supposed something had gone terribly wrong. Their relationship had gone terribly wrong. Their lives had gone terribly wrong. 

He realized after a minute of silence that he hadn’t actually responded. Henry and Walter were glancing between the two of them, now far more aware of the gravity of the situation between them. It was the first time they observed Simon and Wille interact with a full understanding of how much these two boys had lost.

“ Simme , please,” Wille begged. Genuinely begged. Henry and Walter attempted not to fall over on themselves at the sight of it. The Crown Prince begging . 

Simon sighed and lowered his eyes to his plate. Looking at Wille for too long felt like looking into the sun on a hot day. “Where?” he asked. 

“Anywhere you want,” Wille replied too quickly. 

Simon’s terms. This was going to be on Simon’s terms. And Simon tried not to swoon at the gesture because it was not deserving of a swoon. This was basic human decency. Wille was just being decent. Not swoon worthy . 

“The lake?” he suggested. His mind had been replaying his conversation with Malin. Wille kept going to the lake to think. Simon was fairly sure that the lake was where he fell in love with Wille. He wouldn’t admit it to himself, but that’s when it happened. That’s when he fell in love with the goofy prince, who grinned too wide and shouted about how cold the water was. The clumsy boy, with floppy hair, who had kissed him on the way to the water. That was the moment he fell madly in love. “It’s always been our spot,” he followed up. 

Henry cast a look across the table at Walter. Our spot? he mouthed at his friend. He didn’t dare to ask the question out loud. He didn’t want to ruin the moment. Still, Henry and Walter were both extremely fucking confused . 

Wille just nodded and smiled sadly to himself. “Ye- yeah. Yes. That works for me,” he stumbled over his words. The relief in his voice was genuine. “When?” 

Simon snatched his backpack from the ground and slung it over his shoulder. If he waited, he’d chicken out. If he was going to talk to Wille, he was going to talk to Wille now. He couldn’t wait anymore. It would be too painful, and he would freak himself out.

“Now.” 

Wille blinked a couple of times in amazement. This had been a lot easier than he had anticipated. “Yes. Ok. Let’s go,” he said. Walter and Henry struggled not to laugh as the Crown Prince stumbled over his own feet and out of the room after Simon.

The walk to the lake was quiet. They didn’t say anything at all as they exited the halls of Hillerska. They didn’t say anything as they both pretended not to notice the students all staring at them. They distanced themselves significantly as they walked. They kept their heads down. They didn’t hold hands, despite the reality that they both longed to reach out to the other. They walked with distance between them . 

Too much distance. 

It was, as Simon expected, cold at the lake. It had been cold every day that week. That month, really. He was wearing a hoodie and a coat, and yet he still felt like he was freezing. Perhaps it was his company that was making him shiver. Maybe it was Wille. That was something he really didn’t want to think about, though.

They waited on the dock for a long time. Long enough that they both knew they’d miss their next class. People would talk. Henry and Walter would probably tell people that they were together. They knew what would happen, but neither broke the silence. It just seemed so peaceful.

For once, they were just alone. In silence. A silence that had greeted neither of them since the video had leaked. Lucia had been the last time either of them had really known peace, and even before that had been pretty shitty. 

But here, on the dock, watching the water get colder with the day, they couldn’t break it. The silence. It was nice. It was peaceful . They both wanted to soak it in for as long as they could. Even if they were together. 

Maybe especially if they were together. Because, despite not being able to look at each other for the last five weeks, it still felt like coming home. They calmed each other. Both of their minds seemed to stop racing when the other was in the room, even if they sometimes wanted to flee that very same room.

Simon panicked for a fraction of a second as he realized Wille was the only person in the whole world who really made him feel safe . Linda was lovely, but he couldn’t forget what had happened with Micke. And he was typically the person who had to protect Sara. Rosh and Ayub were there for him, but they had their own family shit to deal with.

Wille made him feel safe. 

Even though he’d hurt Simon more than he could express, Simon felt safe here. On the dock, sitting beside the boy who’d broken his heart. 

“I need to tell you something,” Wille finally said, after far too long. Simon finally managed to turn around and look at the prince, who was already looking back at him. It was the first time they’d actually looked at one another in weeks. “But I need you to know that if you do something about it before I finish my plan, it could be really, really bad for both of us.” 

Simon studied Wille’s face. There was no exaggeration there. Wille wasn’t being dramatic. He was honestly worried. “How bad?” Simon asked. 

Wille kept his eyes locked on Simon’s. Simon questioned where this part of Wille came from. He seemed more confident than he had been before. He didn’t know all the details of what Wille had been doing, but he knew it must have required a great deal of standing up for himself. Maybe even standing up for Simon.

Wille let out a small, shaky breath as he answered. “I could end up locked in my room until my mother died, and you could end up with some not-so-friendly royal interruptions in your life. Like yours and Sara’s scholarships being revoked. Or having your Mama get fired.” Wille knew these were the worst-case scenarios, but he also knew he had to tell Simon about them. This situation was already bad, but one small mistake could make it far worse . “I have a plan, Simon, and I’ll tell you everything, but you have to trust me. I know I haven’t given you much of a reason to, and you probably don’t trust me very much, but-” 

“I trust you.” Simon said it before he could think about it. It just kind of jumped out. He hadn’t meant to interrupt Wille, either.

He did, though - he trusted Wille .

Even though Wille had monumentally fucked up with his statement, he seemed to want to take it back. He’d literally shouted about his involvement in the middle of class. Simon trusted Wille, even though he knew he shouldn’t. Even though he knew everyone would call him a fool for it.

“What is it?” Simon asked.

Wille ran his hand through his hair before rubbing it over his chest. Simon watched the action. Once, twice, thrice, again. It was a slow, almost hypnotic motion. Wille was using it to calm himself down.

When Simon looked back up to Wille’s eyes, though, there was only anger. Pure hatred. Simon hadn’t seen anything like it. Not from Wille . Not even in that class a few days before, when Wille stood up for him.

“I know who made the video.” 

Simon stopped mid breath. Something inside of him broke all over again. He’d just finally accepted that he’d never know.

He thought he’d never know .

Wille had stated that the video was not of him. No one felt compelled to look into it any further. No investigation. It was just a silly little video featuring two people who had no real significance.

He thought he’d never know.  

He thought no one would investigate. 

The next emotion that struck him was anger. Burning anger. Wet anger that filled his eyes with tears. “Who?” he asked. His voice was strained. It felt like his throat was closing in on itself.

Who? Who had done this to them? 

Wille stared out at the lake and hugged one of his knees up to his chest. “It was August,” he whispered. His voice cracked as he said the name, and Simon didn’t know what to feel.

How was he supposed to feel? 

This hadn’t just been a sex tape now - it was revenge porn. Against both him and Wille, because Simon knew Wille had done something bad to save Simon from the drug shit. And Simon was involved in the drug shit. August had something to gain by ruining them both. This was more than just a sex tape.

How was he supposed to feel? 

Mostly, he was angry. Angry at August. The creepy asshole who had called him sosse on his very first day. August, who had told him he was too small to join the rowing team, despite him being roughly the same size as Henry. August, who had forced him to deal booze and drugs. August, who had tried to get him kicked out of school. August, who was Wille’s cousin. The boy who made everyone stand on the table and share their sexual conquests. The boy whose words echoed through Simon’s head for days the very first time he’d asked who got their dick sucked last night? August, who belittled Simon and Sara in every possible way. August, who had let him onto the rowing team just to make fun of him some more. August, who still owed him money.

August . 

And he was mad at himself, because of fucking course it was August. 

He should have noticed it from the beginning. August was obsessed with him. August was obsessed with Wille. August was obsessed with both of them together. He was overly engaged in everything Wille did from the moment he got there. He had publicly and loudly and openly discussed how Simon was below Wille’s stature. He often bullied both of them for associating with people outside of their social class. He’d made some not-so-innocent racial remarks about Simon. He’d loomed over their conversations like some kind of tyrant, always ready to jump in when they got too friendly with each other.

August was always there. He was always there to shut them down. Of course it was August. 

And he was angry at Wille for not telling him earlier. 

Wille had to know. Simon knew he had to have known. That’s why he was avoiding August. Simon tried to act like he didn’t notice, but August wasn’t around nearly as much as he used to be. Simon noticed that he and Wille weren’t exactly buddying up to each other during rowing practice, like normal. Wille seemed cold. Simon had pretended not to notice that Wille was pulling away from the only family member he had left to trust. 

And that made Simon sad. Devastated . 

Because, sure, Wille had hidden this from him, but how could Simon even begin to imagine what he was going through? August was Wille’s cousin. They were family. And Wille’s mother must have known August was responsible. She was aware and chose not to prosecute him. August was getting away with it - being rewarded for it - because the Queen allowed it. Wille had to deal with seeing his family every single day, knowing not a single one of them gave a damn about what had happened to him. 

Simon was devastated for Wilhelm. His sweet, guarded, shy Wilhelm. The boy whose smile could light up the sun. A smile that Simon had not seen since before Lucia.

Simon couldn’t stop the tears from falling. He frantically wiped them away, but Wille had already caught him. Simon watched as tears streamed down the Crown Prince’s cheeks as well. “I’m so sorry,” Wille whispered. Simon could only shake his head. “I’m so, so sorry. I didn’t know how to tell you, and I wanted to have a plan before I did.” 

Simon tried his very best to stop crying because, eventually, he was going to have to go back to school. They had half a day of classes left, and then workies. Simon couldn’t just sit on this dock all day, but the tears wouldn’t stop. 

Simon surrendered to his instincts in a horrible, gut-wrenching thought. “Can I hug you?” he asked Wille. 

Wille was already reaching for him. He didn’t have to be asked twice. Simon was in his arms in a matter of seconds. They cried for what seemed like hours. They cried together. For each other. For themselves. For the relationship they never got to have.

They wept. 

Simon struggled for a long time to come up with any real questions to ask. He had more than enough swimming around in his brain, but there were only one or two that really mattered.

“What’s your plan?” he asked quietly. His tears had finally gone dry, but he was still wrapped up in Wille’s warm embrace. He was too exhausted, both physically and mentally, to think about how stupid it was to cling to Wille right now.

Wille breathed deeply into Simon’s curls. They both tried to pretend they didn’t love the feeling of that action. They tried to forget how normal it felt. “I can’t leak anything about him being responsible for the video,” he started. Simon pulled away, despite the pain it caused for both of them, and looked Wille in the eyes. “But… I can tell people about the drugs.” 

Simon shook his head frantically from side to side. “No!” he shouted.

Wille shushed him and turned his attention to the school for just a second. He knew no one was going to interrupt them. Malin and Joakim would stop anybody who came too close. Wille knew this, but he still didn’t want to get caught out here when they were undoubtedly both meant to be in class.

“ Wille , you can’t.” 

“ Simon , it might be the only way.” 

“How is that even going to help?” Simon asked. Sure, it would get August out of their lives, probably, but it wouldn’t get them justice. No one would know that August leaked the video. No one would know that he’d done it for revenge. No one would know about Simon and Wille. It wasn’t good enough . “What if he tries to get me locked up for dealing, Wille?” 

Wille shook his head and rubbed his eyes so hard that colors flashed in his vision. “No one will believe him,” he said confidently. Simon didn’t understand how Wille could say that. Simon had already been involved in one scandal. He’d certainly not survive another. Wille took his hand, and Simon couldn’t summon the strength to pull away. He didn’t want to pull away. “If August has another issue, I can convince my mother to back down about the other stuff. I can make her let me take the statement back. Then we’ll be able to talk about August’s involvement with the video.” 

Both of them tried not to notice that Wille’s voice had faltered on the word “video.” Because it wasn’t just a video to them. It never had been.

It was their first time. It was the moment they’d decided you - I want you. It had never been just a video to them. It would never be just a video to them.

Simon swallowed a lump that had formed in his throat. “How do you know that?” 

Wille rubbed the back of Simon’s hand with his thumb. They both understood it was a bad idea, yet neither of them backed away. “Right now, August is protected because it looks better for the monarchy if no one knows. But another slip up and he becomes a liability,” Wille explained. Simon tried not to get lost in his brown eyes. Eyes that were bloodshot and glossy from weeping for so long, and were still somehow more beautiful than Simon remembered them. “One scandal is enough for my mother. That’s how I ended up here.” 

Simon couldn’t remember why he’d overlooked that detail before. Wille had come here because they regarded him as a liability in Stockholm. Hillerska had served as a safe haven for the monarchy. A place they could hide Wille away.

One scandal was enough. Two was too many. 

“My mother isn’t against me coming out,” Wille continued after a long time. Simon kept his mouth shut. He wasn’t sure how he was supposed to respond to that. How he was supposed to believe that. “She said… she said as long as I have a reason to take back the statement, I can. She wants me to think of something better than just ‘ I was scared.’ ” 

Their hands were locked together for a long time. It took until mid-afternoon for them to be able to move away from one another. It felt nice to be together again. They’d been avoiding this moment for so long, and now it just felt good to be.

“Ok,” Simon whispered, as they were finally getting ready to head back to their classes. Wille’s brows were furrowed as he looked at him. He hadn’t said anything. “I’ll trust your plan. It’s insane, but if you think it will work… I’ll trust it.” 

The next morning, Wille sent the story of August Horn of Årnas being on drugs to each and every news outlet in Sweden. Anonymously, of course. August had a significant number of enemies. His mother might suspect that Wille had something to do with the story, but he could feign ignorance, and swear Simon didn’t know either, and get away with it.

When the story broke, the Queen agreed: August was far too dangerous to keep around. He was a liability.  

Wille was given permission to carry out his plans. He was allowed to take back his statement about the video with the reason of trying to protect a close relative who was clearly not in the right state of mind. The Queen was going to support him. They were going to let him come out. They were going to let hell break loose. 

Wille did it .

August was removed from Hillerska a few weeks later. A week before Wille was going to make his announcement to the public. He’d discussed some of the details with Simon, but not all of them. August’s expulsion in the middle of the school day, on the other hand, was not something he had planned for.

No one had planned for August’s reaction. 

In a last ditch effort to keep some of his dignity - or maybe just to cause more pain - he told them everything about Sara. How she’d known. How she had seen him leak it. How they’d been hooking up ever since. How Sara had confided in him - multiple times - that Simon had deserved it. 

No one believed him at first. Because why would Sara do something like that to her brother? What would she gain from that?

And then they directed their focus to Sara, who had turned completely pale. August had always been a snake, but he wasn’t a liar. He admitted to things when he was accused of them. And Sara…

Sara looked guilty.

August lost all of his friends that day, though no one was exactly sure what friends he had left. He’d done a pretty good job of pissing off each and every one of them before he became the devil.

He lost his friends. He lost his dignity. He lost his place in the royal family. His money. His title. His education. August lost everything.  

Everyone else lost Sara. 

Fuck  

The first time they slept together after the video, they hadn’t been back together yet. It had been a slip up. A mistake. Something they weren’t going to mention or discuss. They both knew what it was, why it happened, and that it wasn’t going to happen again. 

Wille had told Simon that he was coming out. He was coming out and August was going to be charged for the video. 

Next week . 

It was all happening the next week. Wille had accomplished so much in only two months. He’d started by denying the video - denying Simon - and now he was going to come out. He had planned out how to get rid of August, how to bring them justice, and how he would fix things. Wille had fought for them day and night with his mother for two months, and it worked .

Simon had never felt so wanted . 

Because that’s why Wille was doing this: he wanted Simon. 

Wille would realize years later that he did this mostly for himself. He knew this was for him now, but he’d later realize Simon was only the last straw. He had been fighting against that part of himself for years, and even Erik knew it. The first time Wille mentioned being attracted to a man (Martin Wallström, though he would never admit it today), Erik switched to mostly supporting LGBT-focused charities.

Erik had known . For years . 

Wille had known . For years . 

Kristina had known, too. She may have been a bitch sometimes, but she was still his mother. She knew.

Wille had been fighting this for years , and Simon was just the final straw. He was the crescendo. He was the one that made it all worth it. Wille did this because he wanted Simon, yes, but he also did it because he needed to. 

And they slipped up . 

A small, less than innocent mistake. 

They slept together . 

Not simply a steamy make-out session. Not just some heavy petting, or a hand job, or even rushed blowjobs in a broom cupboard. They’d made the calculated - and frankly quite stupid - decision to sleep together. Completely. 

The first time they slept together after the video, they both threw up. 

Not during, obviously, but several hours later. They’d waited until they were alone with their thoughts to retch up any bile that had collected in their stomachs. They’d waited until they were in their own little bathrooms, peering at themselves in the mirrors. They waited until Wille was brushing his fingers over the soft bite mark Simon had left on his shoulder as a result of his efforts to be quiet. They waited until Simon’s eyes were drawn to the bruise that had developed just above his hip bone.

They waited until they were alone . 

But they both threw up. 

Because they’d done that . Again . In Wille’s room . The one place they knew they’d been the most vulnerable before. The place they knew hadn’t been safe before. 

This time, they’d taken extra precautions. The corkboard on Wille’s window was supposed to have pictures on it, but he never got around to doing it. He didn’t take pictures with anybody these days. Cameras made him anxious. Now it was just sitting in the window, obstructing people’s view inside.

They’d closed the two sets of heavy curtains, as well. They’d waited until it was nearly dark out and kept the lights off. The faint glow of the LEDs was enough for them. They’d moved in the shadows, hardly having enough light to make out each other’s faces.  

Their faces . The faces that too many people had seen in the damn video. 

Simon’s face . 

Wille had literally had to close his eyes and shake the memory from his head. He couldn’t look at that face again, no matter how much his body ached for it.

August isn’t here anymore. August is gone. August can’t see you. No one can see you. The room is closed. The window is closed. 

They waited until they were alone to empty the contents of their stomachs, but it happened. The first time they ever slept together after the video had been a mistake that caused them both to puke . 

Not the greatest feeling in the world . 

Simon had covered up in more clothes than he owned that night. Three pairs of pants covered his legs, two t-shirts, and a sweatshirt blanketed his torso, and two pairs of socks covered each foot as he sat on his bed. He still felt exposed.

Why did he do that? Why had none of these thoughts crossed his mind while he was doing it? Why didn’t he regret it? Why did he regret it at the same time? 

Wille spent much of the evening curled into a ball. He counted how many rings were on the curtain rod as he stared at the window. Seven for each side of the curtain, if you were wondering. He wanted to use a tape measure to measure how far apart they were. How far apart they needed to be in order to fully cover the glass.

Why did he do that? Why had none of these thoughts crossed his mind while he was doing it? Why didn’t he regret it? Why did he regret it at the same time? 

They both spent the night feeling ill. It was a mistake. 

They had to act as if nothing had happened the next morning. They’d grown into the same friend group since August’s expulsion, and they weren’t so keen on discussing this particular mistake. Simon, Henry, Walter, and Wille were working on a project. Felice and Madison were always with Wille. None of them were talking to Sara. They’d created a bit of a clique.

Simon and Wille were doing well. They were friends. Everyone had started to notice. Especially now that August was gone. Both of them were even regularly showing up to rowing practice now that Nils was in charge (and had made a very public apology to both of them for not knowing what August had done). 

They had to go to lessons, and sit at desks that were too close together, and talk about their homework, and act as if nothing had happened. It was excruciating .

Simon finally dragged Wille to a secluded corner of the library after classes but before workies. “We don’t need to talk about it,” he said. 

Wille breathed a sigh of relief. They weren’t going to talk about it, but they were going to talk about not talking about it. “Thank god,” Wille said. 

Simon nodded lightly. They both knew what it was. They knew why it happened. They didn’t need to talk about it. “This doesn’t mean we’re like…” Simon trailed off, motioning between them. He couldn’t say the word. He couldn’t do it. 

Part of him hoped Wille would cut him off and tell him that they were. He hoped, but knew better. He’d told Wille to back off, and it was clearly working because the Crown Prince only nodded his head.

Wille’s face screwed up into an embarrassed and somewhat disappointed frown. “No, no, of course not,” he said.

There was an uncomfortable silence that followed. They weren’t going to talk about it. It happened. It was over. They were moving on. They desperately needed something else to think about. Because lord knew they were still thinking about it. It had been a mistake, but it didn’t mean it had been bad.

“I’ll have Malin and Angelica at your house next week,” Wille finally decided to say. Simon perked up a little as he mentioned the couple. “After I confirm that I was in... it … things will probably get a little crazy at your house. I know you trust them - and Linda does, too - so they’ll be the security officers sent to watch over you guys.” 

Simon knew how much that meant. Because Malin was much more than Wille’s head of security. She was also his most trusted confidant. Wille would want Malin there to help him with his anxiety. Wille would probably need her. But he was sending her to Simon because Simon needed someone he knew. He needed someone he could trust.

Not to mention how difficult it must have been to convince the Queen that Wille’s head of security would be of better use in Bjärstad rather than with him.

Simon understood the significance of the gesture. 

“Thank you, Wille.” 

They never talked about that mistake. Not once. 

Coming Out 

Live .

The interview was live .

Wille had said he didn’t want anything edited out, but Simon didn’t think that meant they would broadcast it live .

What if Wille got anxious?

What if he stumbled over his words?

What if he said something embarrassing?

Wille wasn’t going to survive the humiliation of fucking up on live television. National television. Simon wasn’t going to survive it, either. He wasn’t sure he would survive it even if Wille didn’t fuck up. He was curled up on the couch with Rosh and Ayub next to him, just staring at the television. Sara was also there, but Linda had warned her she wasn’t allowed in the room.

Sara’s betrayal angered Linda even more than it angered Simon. Sara had just about had her scholarship voided by Linda’s intervention. Simon was grateful that she spent most of her time in her room. He didn’t want to see her right now, anyway. Or ever. He would have been perfectly content if Sara had just disappeared for a while. Especially today.

Rosh and Ayub had come over the night before. Simon hadn’t stopped pacing the house until the early hours of the morning. Linda had eventually called his two friends and let them into the house at about two o’clock in the morning. They were already planning on coming over, and they couldn’t really sleep either. Today was too important.

The three of them were now sitting on the couch, wrapped in blankets and exhausted from sleep deprivation. They were trying to pretend they weren’t hungry and staring at the screen where Wille was having his final makeup touches added. They’d started rolling the camera about fifteen minutes before the interview was expected to start, and Simon had been staring at Wille’s face ever since.

No edits, he remembered Wille saying. I won’t let them twist my words this time. 

Simon was restless. His legs were bouncing, and he kept running his hands through his hair. He’d even tested Wille’s chest-rubbing technique. It was more soothing than he’d imagined. “They covered his scar,” Simon muttered to no one in particular. He was silently seething at the makeup artists for covering up Wille’s imperfections.

Those imperfections made Wille. 

“What?” Rosh asked. She, genuinely, had no idea what Simon was talking about. She’d met Wille a couple times - and had seen him on television too many times to count - but she didn’t inspect his face very often. She’d never noticed the scar. 

Most people didn’t. It had been photoshopped out of most recent photographs of the Crown Prince, and the ones where it had been left untouched were in magazines that Simon knew Rosh didn’t bother reading. Not everyone bought every magazine with Wille’s face in it. That was only Simon.

Well, Simon and some soon to be very disappointed 12-year-old girls.

“Wille has a scar on his cheekbone. It’s from that fight. They covered it,” Simon said. He, unlike his two companions, had studied every corner of Wille’s face. Every freckle - there were 67 of them in total on his body, if you were wondering - every scar, every patch of acne. Simon knew it all. He’d memorized it all. The Crown Prince on the screen looked nothing like his Wille. 

And yet- 

“It’s just tv, man,” Ayub said, clapping his hand on Simon’s shoulder. “They just need to make sure the lights don’t make him look… too pale. Or something like that.”

Simon knew Ayub was right, but it was still so unsettling. “He looks like he’s going to be sick,” Simon mumbled. That was true. Wille was visibly anxious. Every time everybody in the room turned away from him, he was fidgeting with his fingers and his watch. He gave a nervous little grin when a woman came up to put a microphone on his tie.

His purple tie, Simon noticed. Simon had suggested the color, because yellow looks horrible on you. Stop wearing it, please. 

Simon took out his phone, despite his better judgment. Wille wouldn’t see it until after the interview, probably, but he had to say something.

I know you can do this. 

A short message with a heart emoji at the end. He sent it without giving it much thought. And Wille, while on live television, took out his phone to check it. He smiled. Simon found that smile to be the most comforting thing he had ever seen. Wille had seen a text from Simon and hadn’t frozen. He was on live television, and Simon made him smile.

Wille responded with a red heart. His phone was then promptly taken away by a woman that Simon assumed was Minou. He knew Wille hated her, and the glare he’d given her was less than dignified. Simon could see the reaction memes now. Hundreds of teens sending the picture of Wille glaring at his PR consultant for taking away his phone while he was very clearly invested in the conversation he was having. 

Linda pushed a mug into Simon’s hand before settling into one of the armchairs. “You have to calm down, cariño,” she said. 

“I was calm last time.”

Simon hadn’t meant for anyone to hear him say it, but they all did. They were staring at him with pity in their eyes. He’d been calm the last time Wille gave this interview, and he shouldn’t have been. He would never make that mistake again. Simon stared into his mug and pretended like he hadn’t said anything, but he had. Everyone knew what his worst fear was now.

“It’s starting!” Rosh exclaimed, turning the volume of the television up so that it was bouncing off the walls. “Everyone shut up.” Rosh and Ayub both wrapped their arms around Simon, who wasn’t sure if he wanted to run away or not. His two friends would not allow it.

Highlights of the interview would be playing on television for the next week, but this was the only chance he’d have to watch the whole thing unedited. He knew he needed to watch. He promised Wille that he would.

He still wanted to run. He wanted to hide under the covers and pretend nothing was wrong. Pretend it wasn’t happening. Not happening again, at least.

“Hello. We’re live with His Royal Highness Crown Prince Wilhelm here at Drottningholm,” the interviewer started. Simon took in every detail of her appearance. She was probably in her late thirties. She’d had Botox, but not too much. Her white dress completely contrasted her dark hair. She was pretty. Simon had seen her before, but he didn’t have time to think about that right now. “This is the third time I’ve seen you in six months, Your Highness.” 

Wille flashed her a kind grin. It was charming. It was a rehearsed smile that looked nothing like the toothy grin Simon adored so much, but it was nice. Simon felt a little more calm about the whole situation after he saw how calm Wille seemed to be. “Yes, I reckon we need to stop meeting so often.” A joke . Wille made a joke. 

Simon literally felt his muscles relax while still entangled in the arms of his best friends. “He looks good in the purple,” he said. 

Ayub grinned down at Simon. It was the first time all day that Simon said anything that wasn’t a “what if.” It was also the first time Simon had acknowledged finding someone attractive since the video.

“Yeah. He does,” the boy agreed. The smile on his face was very genuine. Simon may have been freaking the fuck out, but Ayub was still happy to see him so… happy wasn’t exactly the right word. Simon hadn’t been happy in a long time, but this was close to that. “I assume that was your idea.” 

Simon cringed into himself shyly as he shrugged his shoulders. “I might have suggested it.” 

The first several minutes of the interview were spent exchanging pleasantries. Asking about Hillerska and Wille’s academics. Asking about the Queen and Prince Consort, as well as upcoming charity events in the spring. Things Wille would have to participate in as Crown Prince for the first time this year.

Simon watched with bated breath.

“So I’ve been informed you have something to say to the nation?” the interviewer asked.

Wille took a deep breath as Simon unintentionally leaned forward towards the screen. “Yes. I would like to apologize,” the Crown Prince said. 

Rosh and Ayub squeezed Simon even tighter. This was it. This was the deciding moment. This was the moment that determined if Wille was worth it. If he deserved forgiveness. If he really deserved another chance.

This was it.  

Wille took another deep breath, his anxiety probably more apparent than he would have liked. “I lied to the world three months ago. I was involved in an explicit video that had been circulating and, in an attempt to protect a member of my family, I lied about it.”

“Holy shit,” Simon breathed out. He knew Wille would do it. He knew that Wille had promised this time. He knew Wille wouldn’t let him down again. And yet, here he was, still in awe of  - and very much in love with - this boy on the television. “He actually- he-” 

“I would like to inform everyone that the other boy in that video was indeed me, and I apologize for not disclosing this information sooner.” Wille’s voice filled the room, but Simon couldn’t tell whether it was because of the volume of the television or because he had blocked out all other sounds.

Ayub and Rosh each gave a little approving shout. Linda began to clap her hands. Simon had to lean forward and place his mug on the coffee table because he was worried he’d drop it. Wille did it .

Wille not only admitted to being in the video, admitted to lying about it, admitted to Simon , but he also mentioned the family member . Wille had kept his word this time.

Simon felt like he was going to throw up and cry and jump through the screen at the same time. He nearly picked up his phone to call Wille, but that was obviously not possible. This was live.

Wille had said this on live television. 

The interviewer hummed softly and scanned the Crown Prince, who was clearly tense. “You say you wanted to protect your family. How is that?” 

Wille nodded his head curtly, a very clear look of betrayal coating his eyes. “The person who made the video, and released the video , was my cousin,” Wille said. He tried not to fidget with his watch. Simon noticed. No one else did. “His drug abuse has recently become public knowledge. He was obviously not in his right mind when he made the video of me and my partner , and I didn’t want to make the situation worse. He told us he was getting help, but it has become clear that this was not the case.” 

“Did he just call you his partner?” Rosh asked with her eyebrows arched so high they were practically jumping off her forehead. Simon hushed her harshly and leaned in closer to the television to hear more of the interview.

“Your cousin?” the woman asked. 

Wille rolled his lips together and nodded. He was angry, and no one else seemed to notice. Everyone else watching would most likely see an anxious and uneasy teen boy who was uncomfortable discussing his sex tape. Simon, though, saw the hidden anger. It was contained, and buried, but there.

Wille was angry. “Yes. My cousin made the video,” he seethed. “We are currently seeking legal justice, as well as getting him help for his drug abuse.” 

Simon thought it was a generous act: the crown offering to get August treatment for his drug issues. Simon knew it had been a problem, but always thought it was contained. Maybe August really couldn’t stop. Even if Simon wanted him to suffer, it was probably for the best that they were getting August help. He was, after all, just a stupid kid.

“Kronprins, you have admitted your involvement in the explicit video. The next question that will be asked by millions is: are you gay?”

Simon had expected them to ask Wille that question. Wille could have even encouraged them to ask him that. He was trying to come out in this interview. Simon knew that. It still made his blood boil. “That’s all they want to ask him?” Simon snapped. 

With a faint smile, Linda looked over at her son. “That’s the only thing they care about, cariño,” she said. She looked defeated when she said it, but they all knew it was true.

Wille only chuckled and bowed his head in response. Simon melted at the action. He wasn’t offended by the question. He was prepared for it. He was comfortable with it. “Honestly, I have no idea. I don’t see the point in labeling myself. I’m still young. I have more than enough time to figure it out. I’m queer. I know that much,” he answered. 

Simon laughed and leaned further back into his friends. “He came out,” he whispered to himself. 

Rosh pulled him close and kissed him on the temple. “He did, my love. He did.” 

Final decision: Wille was worth it.

But Wille wasn’t finished yet. He wasn’t even close to being finished. “I know I’m expected to have some kind of label to make everyone more comfortable, but that’s not realistic right now. I do know that my first proper relationship was with a boy. It ended pretty badly, though.” 

Simon froze once more. Wille was talking about him. More than just about the video. About him. Wille had mentioned Simon. And their relationship. He’d called whatever they had a relationship . A real one.

“The boy in the video?” the interviewer asked. 

“Yes. Simon,” Wille answered. 

This time, Ayub froze. Simon had already been frozen. Rosh was squirming with excitement and disbelief. Ayub sat still, murmuring unintelligible Arabic about not believing his eyes, though no one could understand a single word he said.

Wille mentioned Simon by name on national television. This was a big fucking deal. Wille was the fucking Crown Prince, and Simon was a nobody from the suburbs. There was no reason to believe Wille would discuss him so extensively in the interview. It was one thing to mention Simon as the person Wille had been with in the video, but this was more than that. This was…

This was probably really fucking stupid on Wille’s part, but it wasn’t like Simon could stop him. He didn’t want to stop him, anyway.

This revelation seemed to catch the interviewer off guard. She fumbled through her notes for a minute, unable to find her next question, and then gave up. The Crown Prince had hijacked her interview, leaving her with really no choice but to accept defeat. “So you and the boy were in a relationship?” she asked. 

“Yes. Simon was my boyfriend,” Wille said, making sure to annunciate his name this time. The media was only calling Simon the boy, and Wille wasn’t going to let that continue. This was Simon. Not just some scandal. 

“He just called you his boyfriend,” Rosh said, pointing out the obvious. She was frozen now, too. They were now three weird, frozen shells of teenagers on the sofa, still wrapped in each other’s arms. “Simme, he-” 

“Shut up! I know!” Simon snapped, immediately returning his attention to the screen. Wille was still speaking. He wanted to hear it all.

Wille was looking a bit somber now, but Simon tried not to think about it. Wille being sad just made Simon sad, which made them both sad. “We were going out for a few months before the video. He rightfully dumped me after I denied my involvement.” 

Simon started to pull on his fingers. Wille had just announced to everyone that Simon had dumped him. Simon, a socialist no one from Bjärstad, had dumped the Crown Prince. 

“So you don’t blame him for cutting ties?” the interviewer asked. Her brows were arched in skepticism, but Wille couldn’t be bothered to notice.

“Absolutely not. I would have done the same thing,” Wille answered. Simon tried not to notice the pang in his heart when Wille said it. He didn’t blame Simon for breaking up with him, which somehow made Simon love him even more. “What I did to him was really horrible . I care a lot about him and I wish I could go back in time and tell the truth about us the first time around. I did what I believed was right at the time, but I now see I was wrong.” 

The interviewer hummed sympathetically, indifferent to her notes at this point. She’d prepared some questions for Wille, but Simon sensed that the news station wasn’t sure exactly what kind of interview they’d committed to. All things considered, this interviewer was handling it well. “You say you care about him. Present tense.” 

Wille didn’t hesitate for a second. “Yes. I care about him,” he said. Wille and the interviewer both laughed a bit at his eagerness to say that.

It wasn’t particularly uncomfortable, but Simon could detect the awkwardness that must have been in that room. It wasn’t just the two of them who were talking. It was camera crews, and audio guys, and royal advisors, and a hundred other people that Simon didn’t even want to think about.

Wille must have been so anxious.  

Wille cleared his throat after another second of silence. “There is no getting over someone like Simon. He’s the best person I’ve ever met, and I hurt him really badly.” 

“He’s fucking whipped,” Ayub said. 

“Of course he is,” Rosh replied. “It’s Simon. Everyone is whipped for Simon.” 

Simon laughed, but couldn’t exactly dispute the comment. There seemed to be a lot of people who were interested in Simon lately. He knew it had a lot to do with the video, but some of them were still surprisingly nice about it. So, yeah, half of the country was pretty whipped for him. He kind of had his eye on someone else, though.

The interviewer finally seemed to find her questions again, sensing it was as good a time as any to move on to another subject. Or go more in depth to topics that weren’t Simon , at least. “What does this mean for the monarchy? Your being queer?” 

Wille winced noticeably at the question, more appalled than anything. He wasn’t insulted by it or awkward about it. He reacted as though that was the most ridiculous question he’d ever heard. “ Nothing ,” he answered. Simon tried to suppress the pride that welled up inside his chest. “Being queer is part of who I am. It won’t change how the monarchy works.” 

Simon whooped loudly at that. He jumped in his seat and triumphantly threw his fist through the air. This was him . This was the Wille he’d fallen head over heels for. This was the Wille he’d wished the rest of the world could see. This was the Wille he’d described to Rosh and Ayub. This was Wille. “That’s my boy!” 

Linda, Rosh, and Ayub all cheered with him, albeit slightly more contained. They all blatantly ignored the fact that Simon called the Prince his boy.

They weren’t together. Still, they all knew that Simon was tied to the Crown Prince. Everyone knew he adored the boy. Loved him, probably - definitely , though Simon hadn’t said that to anyone but himself. They knew Simon would never get over him. They didn’t want to bring it up, though. Especially not right now.

Because Wille had done a good thing. A very, very good thing.

Wille, though, was still talking. He was talking frustratedly at the interviewer. Again, because she’d had the audacity to ask such a question. “Being a woman is a part of who my mother is. She makes an excellent queen. When she became Queen, people questioned her because of her gender, but I think we can all agree that those concerns were unfounded. Being queer is a part of my identity . It’s not something that can be changed. It won’t affect how I am as a monarch just because some people don’t like it.” 

Linda clapped her hands together once and nodded, drawing the attention of the three teenagers on the couch. “I knew there was a reason I liked him,” she’d said. 

At some point during the interview, Malin and Angelica showed up. They greeted Simon with warm grins and a nod of the head. They said they were regretful to inform him that reporters had already started setting up camp outside of the house. They were setting up their cameras while watching the live feed from their vans. Simon would have to stay inside for a few days, at least. He’d already been expecting that.

He tried not to notice the way his heart clenched at the reminder of how it had been last time. People showing up at his door and asking for statements. His face in newspapers everywhere. Those comments online. He tried not to think about it. He turned his attention back to the television instead. 

This isn’t like last time, he reminded himself. It wasn’t. Because this time it was the truth. This time, he had Malin and Angelica to protect him. This time, the monarchy had sworn to keep him safe. It’s not like last time.

“Did the late Prince Erik have any knowledge of your love life? He donated to so many LGBT charities, it seems like he must have.” 

Simon had never asked about Erik after his death. Not any more than he had to. He knew Wille was struggling. He knew Wille didn’t want to talk about it. Simon listened when Wille brought up his older brother, but he never asked.

Wille sighed and looked down in his lap, a sad smile tugging at the corners of his lips. Simon wished he could jump through the screen and kiss the smile back into a happy one. But no, he didn’t, because kissing would mean they were back together and they weren’t. 

“As far back as I can remember, Erik never used gendered pronouns when he talked to me about love. He didn’t care if I was with a boy, a girl, or someone in between. He just wanted me to be myself. He surrounded himself with all kinds of people, and many of them were queer,” he explained.

Simon knew Erik had captured the hearts of the media by donating to LGBT organizations, but he never knew why. Though Simon had always thought it was cute. He’d even developed a crush on the late Crown Prince years before meeting Wille. After his relationship with Wille became public, Rosh had tormented him endlessly, and Ayub had mentioned how Simon preferred the prince type of boys.

“Erik knew about Simon.” 

Simon’s heart stopped. Everyone’s heart stopped. Even Malin and Angelica were staring at the TV with wide eyes.

That was new information. 

“He knew about the boy in the video?” the interviewer asked, as if she had been double checking if she’d heard him correctly. Simon was almost grateful for that, because he was pretty sure he hadn’t heard that right. Surely, Crown Prince Erik didn’t know about Wille and Simon’s little rendez-vous. They’d only kissed a couple of times before Erik died.

But Wille simply nodded his head bashfully at the woman as a smile tugged at his lips. “Yes. He teased me relentlessly about it. I vividly remember him telling me to stop sulking in my room because I had a crush to hang out with. I think that might have been the last conversation I ever had with him.” 

Ayub repeatedly slapped Simon’s arm. Simon couldn’t decide whether he was more thrilled or horrified by the information. Erik , the most important person in Wille’s life, had known about them. Had picked on Wille about them.

“Do you think any of this will affect your ability to reign as king one day?” 

“No,” Wille answered immediately. “To be frank, I wasn’t prepared for this. Erik was always the one who understood how to deal with the important aspects of royal life. When I became Crown Prince, I had no clue what I was stepping into.” 

Simon leaned his head against the back of the sofa and looked up at Malin, who was watching the television with a look of pride that Simon couldn’t even begin to describe.

Wille was her kid . He was the closest she’d ever get to having a kid. Something told Simon that everything started with Erik seeing Wille as his kid, and Malin had always been there to help. Malin filled those shoes after Erik. Simon could just… tell.

“Erik knew,” he whispered. 

Malin looked down at Simon with a gentle smile. “He wouldn’t tell me, but he did say that he knew Wille had met someone,” she responded. Malin brushed her hand over Simon’s curls as he smiled softly to himself. It was calming. He liked Malin - probably too much for his own good. “But he was happy that Wille was happy. Knowing that Wille was being looked after made him seem much lighter in his last few days. Knowing that Wille was happy.” 

That made Simon’s stomach turn. Simon had inadvertently made Prince Erik’s last few days joyful. He’d made them happy. Simon had no idea how he felt about that.

“If these last few months have taught me anything, though, it’s that I can handle this title,” Wille’s voice on the television drew Simon back in. “If I am honest with the people and with those close to me, I will make a fine king. My being queer won’t change anything about that. Making a few mistakes as a child will not change that either.” 

Pride . So much pride. Simon felt so much pride for this boy. This boy he loved. Wille . 

With a genuine smile on her face, the interviewer nodded. Simon wondered how long she’d known Wille. If she’d been conducting Royal Family interviews for years. If she’d been around to see Wille grow up like Malin had. “What do your parents think of everything going on right now?” she asked. 

“My parents are very supportive of me. They were in favor of me coming out as queer and unlabeled. I think more than anything, they are proud to see me stand up for something I believe in,” he said. Simon could tell, by the very small twitch at the right corner of Wille’s mouth, that this was only half a lie. His parents hadn’t been supportive at first, but they were now. Simon’s heart swelled with that knowledge.

But then, of course, they had to go back to what this interview was about in the first place. “Do you have anything to say to those who have seen or spread the explicit video in question?” the woman asked. 

Wille sighed and turned to face the camera. He looked directly into the camera. Simon felt like Wille was looking directly at him. And maybe he was, but he’d never ask. “I would like to remind everyone that said explicit video is a very private moment between two teenagers . Watching or distributing it is not only morally wrong, but illegal under child pornography laws.” 

Simon hated that they had to think about things like that. Hated that this had become their life. That their relationship was on the internet for people to illegally watch. He hated it. 

Wille looked like he hated it more. 

“Is there anything else you’d like to say?” 

“I would once again like to apologize to the Swedish people for my severe lapse in judgment. My desire to protect a member of my family should not have resulted in a lie of this magnitude.” 

Wille repositioned his watch strap, making it seem as though the band had slipped. Simon instantly recognized Wille’s fidgeting. It was anxiety-related. Simon had noticed this quirk months ago.

“I would also like to ask for privacy at this time. Both personally and publicly. My family has been through a lot this past year, and right now we are trying our best to help August get the treatment he needs. Any speculation about my relationship status can be summed up to this: I’m queer, I’m single, and I’m not looking for anyone new to date at the moment.” 

Simon’s heart didn’t jump at the last sentence. No. Definitely not. Especially not when he heard the emphasis on the word “new.”

Because it was just a word.

Wille wasn’t looking for someone new to date, but that could also mean that he just wasn’t looking. Maybe he was enjoying being single. Simon wouldn’t get his hopes up.

Or maybe he would. Because if he was completely honest with himself, he knew exactly where Wille stood.

Simon let himself hope that the emphasis on that word was a silent message for only him. A kind of hidden clue. He prayed it was Wille assuring him that he still wanted Simon, even though Simon had been pushing him away for so long.

“I would also like to ask that the media and the public leave Simon and his family alone. They have suffered enough because of my careless actions and I don’t want to see them hurt again,” he finished. 

Wille and the interviewer exchanged a few polite farewells and thank you’s to conclude the interview, but nothing more of real importance was said. Linda muttered something about it being too late to call off the media, and Rosh and Ayub had gotten up and were dancing about the room.

Wille did it.

He came out.

He told the world about Simon. He’d actually done it. And Simon, despite hearing the click and seeing the flash of a million cameras outside his door, couldn’t care less. He was thrown back into this media shit storm, and somehow he still felt lighter than air.

Wille cared enough to fix this shit . 

Simon hurriedly took out his phone and saw that a message from Wille had already appeared on his screen.

I hope it wasn’t too bad. Sorry they kept calling you “the boy.”

Simon shook his head and laughed to himself. Even after all of that, Wille was only concerned about Simon’s reaction to his name not being mentioned enough in the interview.

He responded with a quick message:

I’m so proud of you. I can’t wait to see you in person. 

It was followed by a heart and a kiss emoji. Simon knew he wasn’t being too forward when Wille sent one back.

Talk

Simon was the one who went up to Wille first. Early on Monday morning. The Monday after the live interview. Simon had made up his mind. He knew exactly what he wanted, and Wille clearly knew what he wanted as well, if he was willing to do all of that for Simon.

Simon had known where Wille stood for a while. Since they had broken up, actually. He was ready now. Simon was ready.

Of course, the media attention Simon had received in the previous three days had been insane. He’d been unable to leave his room, much less his house. The minute he left the house, he was accosted by reporters who had spent the past three days trying to get a picture of him. He had to keep his face hidden. Malin and Angelica had to drive him to school today, which had undoubtedly earned him a few funny looks from students who were already giving him funny looks. He hated it all.

He was so high on life at first that he didn’t even notice the journalists outside his house. Then, of course, he couldn’t ignore it. It was excessive. His mama and Sara couldn’t leave. Malin and Angelica were constantly battling with cameras and microphones. Rosh and Ayub had to stay for a few days because they couldn’t walk home without being bothered. Not that they got much peace at his house, either.

It was a nightmare. 

Simon didn’t want to live his life like that right now. He wanted Wille, but he didn’t want the attention. Not all of it. Not the amount that would come with openly dating the Heir Apparent. Not the amount that would result in everybody at Hillerska watching them all the time.

But he wanted Wille. More than anything.

“Hey, can we talk?” Simon asked. He didn’t even sit with his friends at the table like he usually did. Wille, Walter, and Henry were having breakfast together, as they did every morning, and Simon normally sat down before starting a conversation.

Not today.

He needed to get this over with before his head exploded.

Wille raised an eyebrow at him, a tiny smirk on his lips. “Good morning,” he said. He held out a glass that the three boys had set aside for him. Simon just stood there, staring at it. Wille was teasing him . “Apple juice? Bread with both butter and jam?” he offered. 

Simon wasn’t ignorant to the way his heart skipped a beat when Wille remembered what he liked to have with breakfast. He knew it skipped. He knew why. He knew he wanted Wille to make it happen again. He knew he didn’t want Wille to ever stop making that happen. He wanted his heart to skip so many times that it stopped.

That was probably a dangerous thought. A stupid one, at the very least. But he didn’t want to ever not think that.

“Wilhelm,” he snapped, pulling his book bag closer to himself. 

Wille put the glass of apple juice down and glanced across at Henry and Walter. “I should probably go. I think I’m in trouble,” the prince said.

Simon rolled his eyes as the other two laughed at the joke. Wille wasn’t really sure if it was a joke. Simon hadn’t called him Wilhelm in a long time. Even when they weren’t on speaking terms, Simon still called him Wille .

Simon grabbed Wille’s wrist and dragged him out of the dining room. He wasn’t entirely sure where he was heading, but he knew he didn’t want to have this conversation with a hundred boys listening in. A hundred boys who had been harassing him for months.

He was being dramatic. It was 15 boys tops, but still-

He pulled Wille through the hallways, completely oblivious to his own destination. He just wanted to make sure that they were alone. He didn’t want any of them to overhear. He didn’t want to give the other boys any more excuses to tease him. He didn’t want to give anybody at Hillerska any more ammunition against him.

Simon pushed from his mind the fact that these boys might have been the reason he was so reluctant to get back with Wille. These boys and their taunts. It wasn’t true. He couldn’t think about that right now. They were his friends.

His directionless wandering was put to an end when Vincent ran into them. Literally ran into them. He was rushing to get to breakfast before it closed, and he was running out of time.

“Hey, Wille!” Vincent exclaimed loudly. It was the older boy’s first time seeing the Crown Prince since the interview, and his smile was wider than Simon would have liked. “Congrats, kid. I’m proud of you.” 

Vincent, to Simon’s absolute horror, leaned in and smooched Wille on the forehead. Worse , the Crown Prince just laughed and wiped off the kiss. “Thanks, Vincent,” he mumbled, flushing brightly. “I’ll see you at lunch.” 

Vincent took the hint, giving Simon a knowing glance. Vincent knew exactly what was going on. He’d talked to Wille long enough before the interview to recognize that Simon wasn’t just a hookup, and he’d watched the interview like just about every other person in the country. Wille was in love with Simon, and Vincent knew it. They all knew it. 

The third year ran off without saying another word, leaving the two of them in silence. Simon stared at Wille’s forehead for a very long time. He was not going to be jealous that Vincent kissed that forehead before him. He wasn’t. Because that was stupid. 

But his curiosity was killing him. “What was that?” he asked. 

Wille chuckled under his breath and glanced over his shoulder to where Vincent had finally disappeared from their sight. “He, uh… Vincent is bisexual. He was one of the people helping me figure out a lot of the label stuff when I was planning to come out. Him and Maddie. He’s the only queer guy I know other than you, so…” 

Simon wasn’t sure if that made him more or less jealous. Vincent, a bisexual, had just kissed his boyfriend’s forehead. He told him he was proud of him.

Simon’s eyes widened in horror as he realized he’d started to think of Wille as his boyfriend . They didn’t talk about that. They were still not together right now, mostly of Simon’s doing, and suddenly Simon was getting all jealous. He was mortified.

“Right,” he mumbled.

He grabbed Wille’s hand in his and began walking down the hallway again. Suddenly, he knew exactly where he was going. The place they’d had their first kiss .

When they reached the little nook, Simon shoved Wille to sit on the windowsill like he had before - twice now, actually. The silence was overwhelming. For a long time, neither of them said anything. It was timid, and strong, and loud, and quiet, and a symphony of paradoxes that neither of them dared to speak of. It was their silence. A beautiful silence that perfectly encapsulated all they were to one another. To the world .

Simon didn’t want it to come to an end. He was at ease in the silence with Wille. That was where he felt the safest. Nobody was there to watch them here. No one to judge. There were no obnoxious teenagers filming them or whispering about them. Simon would have been content to spend the rest of his life with Wille in this stillness.

“I don’t want to be a media darling,” Simon blurted out, out of nowhere. And he supposed that was true. He didn’t want to be a media darling. He didn’t want to spend his time jumping through royal hoops, trying to present himself a certain way because he was with Wille. It wasn’t the only reason he was reluctant to be with Wille, though. The media was really only a part of it. Their classmates were a bigger part of it.

Wille burst out laughing. The statement was so ridiculous and blunt. “No one asked you to,” he said when he had collected himself. Simon looked more anxious than Wille did, which was definitely a new dynamic for the two of them. “Simon… nobody’s asking you for anything. I promise.” 

It was unspoken, but Wille was talking about the relationship. He wasn’t trying to ask for Simon back. That’s not why he did the interview. He wanted Simon back, and he’d voluntarily enter into that relationship, but he wasn’t expecting anything. He didn’t deserve to expect anything, and he knew that. He had no right to ask anything at all from Simon.

“I know that, Wille. I just- we’re like-” Simon threw his hands up and groaned loudly. Words had never failed him before. It was only with Wille. This damn prince made him forget simple skills like speaking. “I want you, Wille. I want to be with you. I just can’t… I can’t deal with that much attention right now.” 

Wille reached out and took Simon’s hand in his. “Simon, we don’t have to tell anybody. We can be together and not tell anyone.” 

“That’s a secret , Wille.” 

Wille pulled Simon closer without hesitation. It felt natural to them both. Simon stood between Wille’s knees, holding his hands in his and staring at their interlaced fingers. They were well aware that anybody walking into this alcove would be damning for both of them, yet they refused to move. They needed to be close to each other right now.

Wille sighed softly as he glanced up at Simon. He was perfectly content in this moment. “I’m not saying we hide it. If people find out, let them, but we don’t have to tell them. We can be together and just not say anything until you’re ready.” 

Simon quickly registered that Wille had said they would wait until Simon was ready to tell people. Wille was already there. Wille was ready to tell everyone. Wille was letting Simon set the pace this time. “So we just wouldn’t tell anyone?” 

Wille wrapped his arms around Simon’s waist and offered him those ridiculous puppy dog eyes as he stared up at him. Those eyes made Simon disintegrate inside. “Well, we might have to tell some people,” Wille said with a stupid smile. “Linda should know, as should my parents, though I think they already know. If my mother invites you to Drottningholm, the people there will need to know. Our friends are likely going to figure it out. And we definitely need to tell Rosh and Ayub.” 

No one at Hillerska needed to know. Simon realized that he didn’t even give a fuck about the media. The news could talk about him as much as they pleased. He just didn’t want to deal with people at school treating him any differently.

Simon stroked Wille’s cheek and smiled through tears. He wanted Rosh and Ayub to be aware. Because he understood how important they were to Simon, and that meant they were important to Wille.

Wille had monumentally fucked him over, but he fixed it, and Simon couldn’t think of a good reason to not love this boy. “Can I kiss you?” Simon whispered. 

Wille nodded and tilted his head up to connect their lips. It felt like coming home. Simon’s lips were soft and tasted like toothpaste. Wille’s lips were chapped, and Simon could taste coffee on his tongue from breakfast.

It felt right.  

When they returned to breakfast, Henry and Walter asked if they were back together. Simon froze instantly.

Wille didn’t flinch. “Maybe one day. We’re going to be good friends for now.”

And that’s where they started. To everyone else, at least. They were best friends once more. Only the people who really mattered knew that they were more than that - they’d tell Henry and Walter eventually, but it was fun to watch their obliviousness - and Simon was content with that. 

He was content with Wille. 

Sex

Two months. They’d been back together for two months. People knew now. Felice, Maddie, Rosh, Ayub, Sara, Fredrika, and Stella all knew. Their parents knew. Employees at Drottningholm were aware. A few media outlets were catching on. They still hadn’t said anything about their relationship, but they didn’t really need to. The people who mattered knew, and that was all they cared about.

But they hadn’t been able to have sex in those two months. Not once. They’d tried . Too many times to count. The only thing on their minds was the mistake they’d made before Wille came out, and how they’d felt afterward, and things weren’t clicking like they used to. They couldn’t do anything, no matter how much they tried.

They were making out, there was some heavy petting, and they discovered a couple of creative ways to get off, but they hadn’t been able to actually have sex. They’d get to the point where they wanted to, strip down to their underwear, and sometimes even start the act, and then they couldn’t . One of them would pull away.

They’d tested different positions, different locations, different times of day. They’d tried everything . None of it had worked out. Their friends kept making fun of them, stating they were always alone, that they must be “making up for lost time,” that they couldn’t keep their hands off one another.

In reality, they wanted nothing more than for that to be the truth. It wasn’t, though. That wasn’t the truth. They desperately wanted that to be the truth.

One day, after a particularly humiliating incident, they ended up literally taking cold showers. Separate cold showers , they both thought bitterly. That was the moment they both decided enough was enough. They couldn’t keep doing this. They’d spent most nights together since they’d gotten back together, even sleeping in the same bed, and nothing had happened. It was torture.

They were losing their minds. 

Simon had been planning to talk to Ayub. His best friend wasn’t the most sexually experienced person he knew, but Ayub was always willing to listen. He also usually gave some fairly decent advice. Ayub was wise beyond his years, and Simon frequently wondered if he’d befriended the actual Gandhi reincarnate.

That was his plan. He’d wait until he saw Ayub, tell him these horrifyingly embarrassing things, and then listen to Ayub make jokes until advice happened to come through. That was the way their friendship worked. Simon was a disaster, Ayub was a comedic philosopher, and Rosh was a chaos demon. That’s how it had always worked. 

Simon never made it to Ayub.

For most of the night, he was distracted. Sara had started to regain Simon’s trust, but they were still not at the point where she could be questioning him. She could watch him stumble over his sentences, check the clock four times in one minute, and trip over his shoes. Sara could observe and mentally note how out of it her brother seemed, but she couldn’t ask him about it. She noticed how strange he seemed, but she didn’t say anything.

Linda had also noticed. She did say something. Simon was acting more strange than usual. He was clumsy, he was spacey, and he avoided talking about topics he actually cared about: Wille and singing . Simon was acting weird, and Linda was worried. She had every reason to be worried. He’d acted like this when people at Hillerska were bullying him, and he wouldn’t tell her. She was terrified of something like that happening again.

But it wasn’t until Simon picked up a still-hot pan off the counter that her concerns surfaced.

He hissed and dropped it instantly onto the floor. “Fuck!” he shouted, clutching his burn close to his chest. He didn’t think it would still be hot.

No - scratch that - he didn’t think at all.

He wasn’t thinking about how hot the pan would be. Because all he could think about was how frustrated he was.

Linda grabbed a damp cloth and gently dabbed it on Simon’s hand, as to not irritate the skin any further. “It’ll blister, but you’ll be fine,” she mumbled. 

One benefit of having a nurse in the house was knowing just how bad injuries were, with little to no effort. Simon had only ever gone to the hospital when it was really necessary: a broken wrist, a burst appendix, and that time Rosh had bounced him too hard off the trampoline and he’d gotten a concussion. They had managed to avoid a lot of bills thanks to Linda’s trained eye. Not that it made their injuries any less painful.

Simon yanked his hand back after a minute and attempted to busy himself with other things. “Ayub will be here soon,” he’d said as an excuse for his quick turn around. 

Linda knew his hand still hurt. It must have hurt like a bitch. He’d boiled his skin. “Do you want to talk about it?” she asked him. Simon hummed dismissively as he pulled dishes from the cupboards to set the table. She took the plates from his hands and set them on the other side of the kitchen so he couldn’t take them back. “Simon… whatever’s on your mind, we can-” 

“It’s about Wille, ok?” Simon snapped. That was also unusual behavior. Simon never yelled at his mother. Never. Linda was a little startled by the outburst. “It’s… I just-” he took a long breath to calm himself down and stared at his still aching hand. “This isn’t something I want to talk about with my mother , alright?” 

“Oh, ” Linda whispered, a full realization taking over her body. She wasn’t really shocked by the revelation. She was more so startled by Simon’s genuine stress about something going on in that department with Wille. “Simon, I know this is the last thing you want to hear, but you have a sex tape that went viral. You can safely assume that I know you’re having sex with your boyfriend, and I’m fine with it as long as you’re safe.” 

Simon groaned loudly, his face buried in his hands. He yelped a little as he made contact, fully forgetting that one of his hands was completely burned. “Mama, the problem is that we’re not… doing that stuff,” he said. 

Linda’s brows wrinkled in confusion as she stared at her son. She opened and closed her mouth a few times, struggling to formulate a response to that statement. Her mind was drawing a blank. She was genuinely puzzled.

“I’m sorry, cariño, I’m lost. You’re going to have to give me more context,” she finally said. Linda grabbed a stool from the other side of the counter and sat down, watching as her son carefully weighed his options.

He could talk to his mother right now, before Ayub arrived, and avoid the inevitable awkwardness, or he could wait and let her nag him about it for a little bit longer. They were both aware that these were his only options. Those were the only options he’d given himself to begin with, really. There was no way he was going to talk to anyone else about this.

Finally, Simon sighed and leaned back against the counter, his arms crossed in front of him. “We- we’ve been, like… trying to. We want to, but every time we think we’re going to, I freak out and pull away,” he explained. Simon had also noted that Wille was becoming increasingly more cautious of Simon’s actions in those situations. He was more sensitive to Simon’s movements. It wasn’t fair to either one of them that Wille was so hesitant with him now. “I don’t even know why. I really want to, but I just can’t.” 

Linda smiled sympathetically at him and brushed her hand over his cheek. It was an action he usually hated. It reminded him too much of Micke’s “apologies.” Apologies that came only after those same hands had hurt him.

Linda’s hand was soft, though, and she only ever touched his cheek when she was smiling. Simon normally hated this action, but not when it came from her.

She looked sad for him, and he noticed. She was trying to smile, but it was somber, and it didn’t quite reach her eyes. She looked sympathetic. As if she pitied him. Simon hated that. He hated being pitied, but he hated being pitied by her the most. “Simon, it’s ok to be scared,” she said. 

He blinked a few times, his hand freezing in the air. His lips parted slightly, but no sound came out.

He hadn’t really been scared, right?

Just cautious. He just didn’t want anything to go wrong again. Especially not after that mistake in February that made him throw up. He didn’t want something to go wrong again. He didn’t want to feel that way again.

He knew he’d never feel that way again. This time he’d be with Wille as boyfriends. Not just ex-lovers turned into a national scandal who were colliding once again in an epic mistake. He’d be with his boyfriend, whom he loved.

They told each other that much constantly. That they were in love with each other. It was the first thing they said to each other in the morning and the last thing they said to each other at night. They probably said it more than they should have.

It was almost like a promise. A way to say to one another that they’d been through hell, and they wouldn’t keep making the same mistakes. This was it. All or nothing. Forever. Permanent . 

Quite like that video was permanent. On the internet, forever. Most sites dubbed it the “ Crown Prince’s Gay Sex Tape .” Because that’s exactly what it was. A sex tape featuring the Crown Prince. It had been confirmed for nearly three months now. The Crown Prince had a sex tape. One that involved another boy . A boy of little importance. There had been a week or so when it had gone viral again under the name “ Crown Prince and Low Life ” and Kristina had gone on a warpath.

That tape . 

That tape that made Simon feel so icky. So vulnerable. So out of control of his own life. The reason he was so reluctant to sleep with Wille again. The reason he’d thrown up after that mistake a few months ago. The reason he was so uncomfortable now. The reason he was so-

Scared. 

He was scared. 

Linda could see the realization dawn on him. His entire face fell as it occurred to him that he wasn’t just being stupid. He was being human . This horrible thing had happened to him, and he was a child. He was a kid. He couldn’t help it if he was scared. He had a reason to be scared. Millions of people had seen him in a moment they absolutely were not supposed to see. 

Of course he was scared . 

Linda pulled him into a tight hug and rubbed her palm over his back as he began to weep. “It’s ok. You’re ok,” she whispered to him, rocking them back and forth slightly. “What August did to you was horrific, mijo. Wille is probably just as scared as you are, but you should talk to him about it. This will only get worse if you both ignore it.” 

Simon nodded against his mama’s shoulder but said nothing. He was trying to maintain some kind of dignity by silently crying into her shoulder and not loudly sobbing in the kitchen. “What if it happens again?” he finally managed to squeak out. 

Linda sighed heavily and held him impossibly closer. “It won’t, mijo. It won’t,” she assured him. Because it wouldn’t.

It was a miracle he and Wille could even post on their own social media with all the new safety regulations in place. Linda and Kristina had several long phone calls about different strategies to protect their boys. Linda had been less than courteous in those conversations, and the Queen had quickly shed her own hard exterior to express her concerns for the boys’ safety. This would never happen again. Never .

That didn’t mean Simon and Wille didn’t see August’s face every time they closed their eyes. It didn’t mean they didn’t see him walking past their windows when he was realistically on the other side of the continent. It didn’t mean they didn’t jolt awake from nightmares. It didn’t mean they were able to ignore their faces in magazines, or their names on less-than-accepting websites. It wasn’t going to happen again, but it wasn’t going to go away, either.

“August is gone, mijo. He’s gone. He can’t hurt you again, and the crown is protecting you like you’re one of their own. This will never happen again.” 

Simon was still terrified, especially after realizing that he’d have to talk to Wille about it, but he knew what he needed to do now. That certainty put him at ease just a little bit.

Wille, at the same time, had been thinking about who the fuck he was meant to talk to about this. Because who the fuck did he have left to talk to about this?

Erik had always been his first call in these situations. His older brother had always been the one he confided in when it came to crushes, and sex, and other things like that. Erik was even the one who had given him the sex talk. The first time someone had ever even touched Wille’s dick, Erik brought him to a doctor to get tested - a rather mortifying experience for every involved party. That unlucky doctor hadn’t intended to see the princes that day, let alone plan to do STD testing on the younger one, who was only thirteen at the time.

Wille would have gone to Erik, but he couldn’t.

He found himself wishing August wasn’t the asshole who published his sex tape. He was a pretty shitty person, but he likely would have offered Wille some good advice about this. August had never seemed inexperienced when it came to sex. And he was family. He’d tease Wille about it, certainly, but he’d also offer him genuine advice to make sure Wille was being safe. Perhaps if August hadn’t been the asshole who leaked the fucking sex tape, Wille would have gone to him.

That’s all August wanted anyway, right? For Wille to need him. 

His parents were 100% not an option . They were well aware of what he was up to - the sex tape had ensured it - but none of them discussed it. They were the reason Erik had to give him the sex talk. Because he’d been thirteen and beginning to develop those types of urges , and no one would tell him anything. Except for Erik, who eventually just went against Kristina’s wishes and taught Wille all he needed to know. So, of course, Kristina and Ludvig were aware of what was going on, and although they didn’t disapprove or try to prevent it, he was not going to ask them about any of his current problems. Not when they were the most boring straight couple he’d ever met, and he imagined their sex life was just about the same.

His relationship was neither straight nor boring, and he simply could not learn anything from them. 

He thought about talking to Maddie or Felice about it. They were his friends, and he told them pretty much everything, anyway. The issue was that neither of them were boys. Wille was a boy, and he was sleeping with - or trying to sleep with, at least - another boy. Maddison barely even liked boys. She was into Rosh after that one football match they’d gone to. They weren’t going to understand half of what he was saying, let alone know how to fix it.

Henry and Walter crossed his mind. They were boys. They understood what it was like to be a boy. They knew what it felt like to have a teenage boy’s sex drive. He was fairly confident both of them were straight, but they had their moments (he knew they weren’t straight, but he wasn’t going to be the one to tell them that). If they were straight, they weren’t the type of straight people who would find it weird to talk about gay sex. For a second he’d thought yeah, I could talk to them about it . But then he realized he’d have to tell them about Simon. They hadn’t realized the couple was back together, and Wille didn’t think he should tell them without first getting consent from Simon.

So, no, he couldn’t talk to them about it.

Maybe Vincent? When he was trying to organize his coming out, the third year had been quite helpful. Plus, Vincent was a queer man. He’d known what it was like to be a hormonal teenager, knew what it was like to have those urges, knew what it was like to have those urges for another dude. Vincent was generally laid back, and he was open about his sexual orientation. Wille had spent many sleepless nights in Vincent’s room when he was starting to arrange that interview and trying to find a label for himself which inevitably never came. And he had a feeling Vincent was catching onto the fact that Simon and Wille were back together. His subtle , knowing glances were anything but subtle.

The issue with going to Vincent was that he was on the third year’s trip. He’d be gone for another week, and Wille could not wait another week to talk to someone about this. Even if he could discuss it with Vincent later, he needed someone to talk to right now.

He contemplated talking about it with Malin. She was a woman who liked women, but she was close to him. At least she understood what it was like to be queer. He trusted her. He respected her. Wille knew she was close to Simon, too. She knew about their relationship and Wille’s anxiety and Simon’s dissociation. Wille adored Malin, and he valued her opinion. He had no doubt that she would give him good advice. She’d do it in a heartbeat.

But no matter how much he respected her, or trusted her, or valued her opinion, she was still his employee. He was pretty sure talking to her about this would break about 300 different sexual harassment laws, and he wasn’t going to do that. He couldn’t do that. Not just because it would mean he lost Malin, but because it was all just very much a morally gray area. 

So, finally, in one last pathetic, embarrassing cry for help, Wille decided who to talk to. After thinking of literally every other person he had ever met in his entire life, Wille decided he would talk to Boris. The school psychologist. Because why not? He was already going to die of embarrassment. He might as well go out in flames. 

He slipped into the man’s office in the middle of lunch, having made some lame excuse to Simon that he actually couldn’t remember now. He’d hoped Simon wouldn’t bring it up because he had no clue how he was supposed to answer anything. Obviously, he wasn’t thinking.

Wille leaned back against the closed door, his notebook clutched against his chest. He hadn’t even bothered to return to his locker to drop off his books before coming here. Apparently, this was a pressing matter, though his body appeared to be more aware of it than his brain.

Boris greeted him with a warm grin and enthusiastically waved him inside. “Your Highness! What brings you to my office today?” he asked. 

Wille took another few steps inside the room. He glanced over his shoulder at the door once, debating whether or not he should make an escape, but then conceded. He needed to talk to someone. Even if it was Boris. Even if it meant having the most embarrassing conversation of his life. He needed to talk to someone. 

“Everything I say here is confidential, right?” Wille asked, kicking his feet against the carpet. “Like… you’re not going to tell all of your co-workers who like to whisper about me behind my back?” One would have anticipated venom in his tone, but none was there. Wille was sincerely just fed up with being whispered about.

He knew all of the staff at Hillerska liked to gossip. They worked with the next generation of Sweden’s wealthy and powerful. Of course they liked to talk about it. Wille was just so sick of always being the butt of the joke. He hated knowing that, even here, adults were whispering about him as if he wasn’t just a child.

Boris gave the young prince a sad smile and placed his hand on his shoulder. It was an act that both of them knew was, technically, inappropriate. Boris was not supposed to get close to him. No one was. Wille was meant to be untouchable.

He wasn’t.

“As long as you aren’t going to hurt yourself or someone else, I don’t have to tell anyone,” Boris said.

Wille sighed and nodded his head. He was definitely not touching anybody else. That was the problem.

Boris nodded to the chairs in the corner of the room and instructed Wille to take a seat. It was uncomfortable. The atmosphere , not the chairs. The chairs were incredibly comfortable. Wille probably would have fallen asleep in one if he wasn’t so fucking humiliated by his own issues.

Wille’s mind began to race as he watched the older gentleman take a seat and look at him attentively. What the fuck was he doing? He was just going to sit here and tell this man his problems and hope that somehow he knew exactly how to solve them. That was absurd. Wille had finally lost his mind.

He looked over the man’s kind face, and his final thought was: this is so fucking embarrassing. You’re never going to look at me the same. 

And Boris had the audacity to laugh. “I’m sure it isn’t that bad,” he chuckled. Wille’s eyes widened as he realized he’d said the last part out loud. Not that he didn’t want to say it. He probably should have prepared this poor old man for what was about to come his way. Boris, on the other hand, just smiled and shook his head fondly. “What’s going on?” 

Wille took a deep breath and braced himself. He needed to talk about it. He did. With a real person and not just the voice in his head that kept telling him that he was an idiot. (He was an idiot. He didn’t need to keep saying it to himself.)

Wille squeezed his eyes shut in an effort to regain some dignity before starting to speak. “I can’t have sex,” he blurted. The words came almost too rapidly to be their own separate syllables. They kind of blended into a weird slur. Wille opened one eye to glance at Boris, who was confused but not appalled . He encouragingly nodded his head for Wille to continue. So, Wille opened both of his eyes, tried not to sink into his own skin, and explained himself. “I want to, and I keep getting to the point of opportunity, and then it just… doesn’t work.” 

Boris hummed once and firmly nodded his head. He hesitated for a long moment, as if he wasn’t sure what to say. Wille reasoned that there couldn’t have been many teenagers who visited the school psychologist’s office to discuss their inability to have sex. That seemed to be the only thing his classmates were doing. “Your Highness-” 

“Please call me Wilhelm,” Wille cut him off. “We’re way past the point of titles here.” 

Boris continued, nodding once more. Wille thought he nodded a lot - must have been a psychologist thing . “ Wilhelm… this seems like something you might want to see a medical doctor for.” 

Wille stared for a minute in pure confusion. Medical doctor? Why would he need a medical doctor?

“What? I- what do you- that’s not-?” then it occurred to him that the wording of his previous statement had been more than a little ambiguous. “Oh, god, no! No, that’s not-! It works . It all works,” Wille motioned uncomfortably over his body. It all worked just fine. That wasn’t what he meant. “No, I’m fine in that way… I just… we get to the point of actually doing stuff and then I just can’t. Like I get all freaked out and I have to pull away.” 

Boris tried to conceal a small laugh, but he failed miserably. He was now realizing that the Crown Prince was a complete and total catastrophe. The media-painted Party Prince did not exist. Wilhelm was clumsy and awkward, and certainly not the heartthrob presented in the media. Boris thought the entire thing was hilarious. The Fuck Boy Prince couldn’t... well, he couldn’t-

“I see,” the man said. Boris cleared his throat and folded his hands on his knee. “Is this the first time you and Simon have had sex since August leaked the video?” 

Wilhelm shivered at the mention of his cousin, trying not to think about how this man knew he was talking about Simon and not someone else he could possibly be sleeping with. Of course he knew it was Simon.

Boris offered a sympathetic smile but made no apologies. Wille was honestly sick of people treating him with kid gloves. He’d much rather have had people tell him yes, it happened. Someone invaded your privacy in a way that we can’t even imagine. You will never be the same. 

Because he wasn’t the same. He was never going to be the same. Part of him died when that video went out. That moment that was supposed to be just for him and Simon was suddenly on every news station and in every magazine. Of course something had died inside. He wasn’t going to be the same. It wasn’t going to just go back to how it used to be. He wished people would stop pretending like it would. 

Talking to Boris was starting to look like a good decision, after all.  

Wille ran his hand through his hair, trying not to bite his nail. “We- um… there was a slip up in February, but other than that, yeah,” he answered honestly. Boris nodded, but he was visibly confused. The history of Simon and Wille’s relationship was mostly unknown, especially the timeline of their on-again-off-again. “It was before we got back together.” 

Boris took a deep breath and leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees. Wille was a mess. He didn’t know how to feel. He was humiliated and frustrated, but Boris didn’t make him feel bad about it. It was every bit as embarrassing as he had expected it to be. Nothing more, nothing less. “Wilhelm, in February, you said you slipped up. How did you feel when that happened?” 

Wille did bite his nail this time. His leg bounced up and down without his consent. The memory of it made him nauseous. “I- it was…” he trailed off.

He hadn’t even talked to Simon about this. How was he supposed to tell this almost-stranger? He took a deep breath and rubbed his hands over his eyes until he saw colors.

“At first it was good. I was happy to be with him again, I guess. But afterwards I couldn’t stop thinking. About August, and about the video, and about the curtains being closed. I couldn’t stop thinking about the curtains. I threw up, and it was fine when it happened, and I don’t regret it but-” 

“Wilhelm! Wilhelm , calm down,” Boris interrupted. Wille looked up at the older man, begging his tears to stay in his eyes. Boris smiled softly as he extended his hand to touch Wille’s knee, a gesture Wille had previously been unable to feel. His legs had gone completely numb, and he hadn’t noticed until now that he wasn’t breathing very well. “Wilhelm, it is ok to not be ok. What happened to you was traumatic . It’s alright to not feel safe in a sexual environment right now.” 

Wille leaned forward and shook his head, trying to catch his breath in any way he could. “It wasn’t even my face in the video. Everyone believed me when I said it wasn’t me. I shouldn’t be this upset. It shouldn’t stop me from being with him like that,” he explained. 

Boris clicked his tongue and placed both of his hands on Wille’s shoulders. Wille, who was now in tears. “Wilhelm, just because your face wasn’t in it, doesn’t mean it wasn’t an invasion of your privacy,” Boris countered. “You are allowed to fall apart a little. Someone you trusted did a very bad thing to you. You don’t have to pretend you weren’t violated in the same way Simon was just because your face wasn’t in it and his was.” 

Wilhelm sank a little further into his chair. No one had ever said that to him before. Not even Simon. He was violated just as much as Simon was. It was a video of him. Of him and Simon. It wasn’t his face, but it was still his first time. It was his private moment that became worldwide news. It was a sex tape that was made and released without his consent. It was Wille in the video. 

He had every right to fall apart over it. 

“It’s going to take time to get there, Wilhelm,” Boris said quietly. Wille’s shallow breathing was the only sound in the room. “You and Simon are both going to have to discuss how that makes you feel. Nothing is wrong with either of you because you’re scared. You just need to talk about it with each other.” 

Wille couldn’t tell whether he was lighter or heavier as he left that office. He had his answers. He just really didn’t like them. He knew he’d have to tell Simon about everything at some point. He’d just hoped it would be years later when he’d already gotten over it.

They were laying in bed at Drottningholm a few days later when Simon finally brought it up. It was the middle of the night, and the lights were off, but they both knew the other wasn’t sleeping. They could feel it. The too tense muscles, the uneven breathing, the excessive stirring. Neither of them were asleep. There was a conversation that neither of them had been able to get off their mind. 

They needed to talk about it. They both knew it. 

“Wille,” Simon whispered into the darkness. 

Wille hummed and squeezed his arms around Simon tighter. They’d told Kristina that Simon would be sleeping on the couch in Wille’s room. They all knew it was a lie. They didn’t even send pillows or blankets up to the room. Everyone knew they’d be sharing a bed. Tonight was no different.

“Wille, I-” Simon leaned onto his elbow, looking down at Wille. Even in the dark, he could make out the features of his face. They kept the curtains open at a window in the far corner. They were on the third floor and you couldn’t see the bed through that window. The moonlight was nice. “I want to have sex with you,” he said awkwardly. 

Wille kept staring at him for a moment before grunting loudly and slapping his hands over his face. “I know, I’m sorry,” Wille apologized, much to Simon’s bafflement. He didn’t know why Wille was the one apologizing. “I keep making it weird and stopping it. I’m so sorry. I just-” 

“Wait, I thought I was the one making it weird,” Simon said. He reached over and pushed Wille’s hands away from his face. “Are you not able to… you know either?” he asked. 

Wille sat up straight, bringing Simon with him. They both fumbled for their bedside lamps and flipped them on before turning back to each other. “No, I can’t,” Wille confessed after a long minute. “I really want to. I do. It’s just like… I get in my head. I can’t stop thinking about-” 

“About the video?” Simon asked. Wille bit his lower lip and nodded shyly. He was nervous. Simon was nervous, too. “I keep doing that, too. I know that it’s not going to happen again, but I can’t pretend like it doesn’t cross my mind when we…” Simon motioned between them with a grimace on his face. 

Wille nodded along eagerly. “No, no, I understand. I think I’m just now starting to realize that I’m not… I’m not ok ,” he said weakly. Simon felt his heart break. “I think I convinced myself that since it wasn’t my face, I didn’t have a right to feel like my privacy was invaded. And- and I think I’m starting to realize that I’m not just… ok after all of it.” 

Simon stared at his boyfriend for a long time before tugging him into a hug. “Of course you’re not ok. Neither of us is ok,” Simon whispered. Wille breathed deeply, taking in every scent of Simon: his skin, his hair, the toothpaste still on his breath.

Of course they weren’t ok. Simon hadn’t realized that Wille felt like that: like he couldn’t feel bad about it. Wille hadn’t realized that Simon felt like that: like it could happen again. Neither of them was just alright. No one expected them to be alright. Least of all each other.

For a long time, Simon refused to let go of the hug. When he did, though, a playful smirk formed on his lips. “If we both want to have sex, though, maybe we can just take it slow. Let’s not start with all of it. We can just do a little at a time. Yeah?” 

Wille gave a single nod before placing a chaste kiss on Simon’s lips. “Yeah.” 

Fight  

Truth or Kiss. That was the name of the game that caused their very first real fight as a couple. It was a stupid game, really. It was like Truth or Dare and Spin the Bottle all in one. They weren’t even sure why they’d agreed to play. 

The rules were pretty simple. If you were asked a question, you had the option of answering it or spinning the bottle and kissing someone as a penalty. It was an effective way of getting tipsy teenagers to make out and spill secrets. A party game. Because that’s where they were: at a party. 

A group of Second Years had gotten together for a party the night after their first completed month of second year. Seeing as Henry and Maddie had been the ones to plan it, Wille and Simon didn’t have much of a choice in their attendance. They would have preferred to spend the night in Bjärstad with Linda, eating ice cream on the couch, but they loved their friends, and it would be odd if neither of them showed up.

So they spent the night at Hillerska instead, at this party, playing stupid party games. All things considered, the number of players was rather small. Simon, Wille, Felice, Maddie, Sara, Henry, Walter, Marcus, Anton, Johan, Fredrika, and Stella. The girls knew about Simon and Wille. The guys didn’t, but they were pretty oblivious, and most of their questions led nowhere.

Simon and Wille sat next to one another. Close enough that they could link their pinkies without anybody noticing, but not so close that people thought they were dating again. Simon still wasn’t completely comfortable with everyone knowing, and it was kind of driving Wille crazy. The girls found out, and it was fine, he’d reminded Simon, but it still wasn’t enough. They weren’t even worried about the media anymore. They were well aware that whether or not they were publicly together, tabloids would invent ridiculous theories about them. It was mostly the boys at school that they were keeping it secret from. They weren’t public, but not hiding it, and falling somewhere in the gray area in between. The bet with the girls had started, though, so it gave Wille some extra motivation to keep this under wraps for at least a little while longer.

Seven months of being a dirty little secret wasn’t working wonders for his self-esteem, though. 

Maddie was peering around the circle with a drink in her hand, searching for her next target. She’d been the one to suggest the game, and most of the players were enjoying themselves. Simon, being the only one who didn’t drink, wasn’t having as much fun. Especially because he had to answer every question they asked. He found that people were less sensitive when they were drunk. Wille wasn’t drunk, but he’d been sipping the same beer all night, so even he had a little alcohol in his system. 

Maddie sucked her teeth and pointed across the circle at Anton, who appeared to be leaning a bit too close to Fredrika. Simon wanted to tell him to back off, but knew he probably shouldn’t. “Anton, would you be embarrassed if we looked up your search history in front of the entire party?” Maddie asked with a smug grin. 

Anton, who looked far too inebriated to care about his own humiliation, nodded with a cheeky grin. “Very,” he said. The other boys in the circle chuckled knowingly - even Wille, who had stayed out of those discussions for the most part. It’s hard to enjoy porn when you accidentally made a porno. But that was neither here nor there. Anton sat up and looked around his circle of friends, trying to figure out who he should ask next. “Felice,” he started, “who was your most embarrassing celebrity crush?” 

Simon snorted loudly, earning a glare from half of his friends. They all knew, of course, that her answer was Wille. They all knew, of course, that Wille had not reciprocated those feelings. Simon was even told a story about a very pathetic, failed attempt at a kiss.

Part of Simon - a part that he’d never ever admit to having - was a little pleased with himself for being able to win over Wille when he had options like Felice. Simon may have been gay, but he could admit that she was the whole package. She was kind, and she was hot, and she was rich. 

And Wille wasn’t gay. Not entirely, at least. As far as Simon knew, of course. Wille could have had feelings for Felice if he really wanted to. He’d picked Simon instead, and a petty part of Simon was smug about that. He knew it was stupid. He knew thoughts like those were self-destructive. He knew he’d had Wille for a long time and wasn’t going to lose him. Still, thoughts like these crossed his mind anytime Wille got too flirty with a girl at those ridiculously stupid state dinners - even though the Crown Prince didn’t realize he was flirting at all. 

Felice flashed Simon a warning glare before leaning forward to spin the bottle. She was obviously not going to answer the question. Besides, this wasn’t the first time she’d kissed Stella at a party.

Felice had quickly decided on her next victim. “Simon, how far would you go with someone on a first date?” she asked with raised eyebrows. 

Simon let his mouth hang wide open. It had been a long time since he had been teased about sex. Other than with Wille, of course. People normally avoided the subject entirely, and for good reason. “I… uh…” What was he supposed to say? 

Wille smirked to himself and coughed loudly. “All the way,” though his words weren’t exactly hidden by the cough. 

Simon smacked the prince hard on the arm. “Wilhelm!” he shouted. He sounded scandalized, and half the group was laughing wildly at his discomfort. 

“It’s true!” Wille countered with a grin. “At least it was true for me…” he mumbled. Wille knew damn well that he was the only boyfriend Simon had ever had. So, technically , statistically , he was right. 

Simon hated that he was right. “We didn’t even have a first date! I picked you up high from a football field.” 

Wille nodded and took a sip of his beer. He had a look of triumph on his face. He’d won this round. He’d gotten Simon all wound up. “My point exactly,” he said. Their friends were laughing at the Crown Prince’s sudden boldness, and Simon couldn’t decide if he found this whole thing very annoying or very erotic . 

Simon huffed and glanced around the circle for whatever kind of dignity he could salvage. “Maddie, what’s the worst thing you’ve ever done while intoxicated?” he asked. Maddie was a partier and was not good at resisting her impulses: surely this would give them all something else to laugh about. Something that wasn’t Simon . 

Maddie narrowed her eyes and clicked her tongue at the boy. “I slept with Nils,” she answered. The response made Henry, Walter, and Anton laugh out loud. Last year, Nils was dead set on making them a couple. He talked about it constantly at rowing practice. Simon and Wille had been more than a little distracted with other shit and didn’t notice, though no one was blaming them. “Henry!” she shouted over the laughter. She had already decided who to ask next. 

Henry perked up as he heard his name. He’d been one of the most intoxicated of the group and was clinging to Walter for support. “Yes, dear?” he asked with a bright smile. 

Maddie rolled her eyes at the boy. Their group of seven had grown into a little family, with Maddie and Simon often acting as mom and dad. The rest of them behaved like five drunken toddlers. Of course, Henry was among the worst of them. To be fair, though, he was quite the happy guy when he was drunk. 

Henry was always a happy guy. 

“If you had to flash one person in this entire room, who would it be?” she asked. 

Henry snorted loudly at the absurdity of the question, but then turned to look at the rest of the party to look for his answer. He’d hooked up with plenty of girls here, but he didn’t actually care for any of them. He’d never once enjoyed one of those encounters. He didn’t think he’d sleep with any of them again. He’d certainly not just flash one of them. So, with a hiccup and a giggle, Henry answered “Walter,” before collapsing back into his best friend’s arms. 

Walter burst out laughing at the response, but no one knew if it was because he thought it was funny or because he was just really drunk.

“Wille!” Henry shouted across the circle. The Crown Prince looked over at his friend with a fond smile and gestured for him to ask the question. “When was the last time you had sex?” he asked. Wille scanned the circle uncomfortably before settling on Simon, who had gone completely rigid. “And with who?” Henry added on as the final nail in the coffin. 

Wille would have been perfectly fine answering, really. He’d had sex with Simon before the party. That was the answer. A basic, straightforward answer. He wasn’t the one concerned about these people finding out. Half of them already knew, anyway. The boys were the only ones who were still in the dark. Wille was more than willing to answer.

Simon looked terrified. Given just how drunk they were, none of them would remember the answer by morning, but he was still worried about them knowing. He didn’t even know why. Maybe it was just because he’d spent so much of the summer in magazines with Wille. Maybe that small amount of media attention had gotten to be too much now that he had experienced the privacy of his own home for a month or so .

It’s because they bullied you before and you’re worried it will happen again. He shoved that voice from his mind. None of them were going to do that. He’d moved on. He was happy now. These were his friends now. He wasn’t worried about that. Yes, you are. 

Wille grumbled and leaned forward, spinning the bottle around the circle. He wasn’t going to lie, and he wasn’t going to tell Henry and Walter about the relationship before Simon was ready, let alone the other boys playing. The only thing he could do was spin the bottle and pray it landed on Simon.

It didn’t.

It did, however, land on the next best person. Maddie. Their female friend who liked girls . A kiss that would make neither one of them feel anything. Perfect. 

As Maddie made her way across the circle to sit in front of him, Wille moved his hand away from Simon’s and sat up on his knees. “You ok with this?” she asked. Their faces were now very close together. Close enough that he could smell the alcohol on her breath. Close enough that he could feel her breath on his skin.

He hated the feeling. It felt nothing like Simon. “It’s just a kiss,” he said with a curt nod. 

Maddie’s lips were nothing like Simon’s. They were cracked and dry from her lipstick. They tasted of cheap tequila and a chocolate chip cookie he’d watched her eat earlier. They felt foreign and wrong and they didn’t fit at all with his own. Wille noticed instantly that she’d taken his bottom lip in between hers, and it dawned on him that Simon had always taken his top lip. He hated the way Maddie kissed.

With a grimace, he pulled away, and Maddie followed suit. “Let’s never, ever do that again,” he shuddered. Maddie quickly nodded her head and made a loud sound of disgust as she took her seat. Wille reached for Simon’s hand again as soon as he sat down. He definitely would have rather kissed Simon. 

Simon pulled his hand away on contact. Like he’d been burned by Wille’s fingers. When Wille looked over at his boyfriend, he saw that Simon looked pissed. 

He couldn’t imagine why. 

But Simon kept that screwed-up look on his face for the rest of the party. He had a bitter frown on his face the entire way back to Wille’s room. He changed into his pajamas in complete silence. He’d scowled as he brushed his teeth. It wasn’t until they were about to climb into bed that Wille finally decided to say something.

“What’s wrong?” he asked, though he sounded pretty tired of the conversation already. 

Simon glanced his boyfriend up and down with a disbelieving glare. “ What’s wrong? ” he scoffed. Wille knew he was in dangerous territory. Simon sounded mad. “You kissed her!” he shouted. 

Wille didn’t understand. Why was Simon mad?

“For the game,” he pointed out. He’d only kissed Maddie for the sake of the game, and he didn’t even like it. In fact, he’d found it utterly repulsive. He spent most of the kiss thinking how much he would have preferred it to be with Simon, and the rest thinking about how different Maddie’s lips were from Simon’s. 

“You kissed her, Wille,” Simon said again. 

Wille didn’t know if Simon sounded more sad or more angry at this point. He was certain, though, that this was not his fault. Wille didn’t do anything wrong. The only reason he kissed Maddie was because of Henry’s stupid question.

“What else was I supposed to do? Did you want me to answer the question? The question that would have told them all about us?” he asked.

Because that is why the kiss happened. Because Simon did not want to tell their guy friends at Hillerska about them just yet. If Wille could have been honest without upsetting Simon, he would have. He knew, though, that Simon was not ready for everyone to know. So he’d kissed Maddie. Because Simon didn’t want him to answer the question.

“You’re the one who doesn’t want them to know. What the fuck should I have done, Simme?” 

Simon gave a single shake of his head. His arms were crossed, and his lips were pursed. They were standing in the middle of the dorm room and fighting for the very first time. It probably wasn’t the best place to fight. The walls were far from soundproof. Malin was standing right outside. Marcus and Kalle lived in the room literally next door. Wille’s newest security officer was standing outside the window. There were far too many people around to overhear and, for some reason, they’d decided this argument was going to be loud, and it couldn’t wait.

“You don’t get to fucking call me that right now,” Simon said. 

Wille laughed in disbelief. Because this couldn’t possibly be happening right now. Simon couldn’t actually be angry about this. “It meant nothing . It was Maddie, for fuck’s sake.” 

Simon shook his head and pushed his hair back with a heavy sigh. “You kissed her. Someone who wasn’t me. That’s a problem,” he said. 

Wille, of course, could see where Simon was coming from. Had he kissed someone he was attracted to, maybe it would have been a problem. But he wasn’t attracted to Maddie, and Maddie wasn’t attracted to him.

“Simon, I don’t know how to tell you this, but we are in a very deeply committed homosexual relationship. I felt nothing when I kissed a girl. A girl who we are friends with.” He spoke with more bitterness than he would have liked. He wasn’t really mad at Simon. He was just angry at the situation. 

But Simon could feel the anger. He always knew what Wille was feeling, and this was no different. Unfortunately for them both, Wille’s anger simply fueled Simon’s anger. “Yeah, well, maybe if I knew what the fuck your sexuality was, I wouldn’t be upset about that!” 

The silence in the room that followed that statement could have stopped the world from spinning. Simon knew exactly which nerve to hit. He knew exactly where it would hurt the most. He’d meant to hurt Wille. He’d never done that before. He’d never intentionally tried to hurt Wille’s feelings.

He’d meant to. 

Wille had struggled with how to label his sexuality from the moment he realized he wasn’t straight. Everyone expected him to put a label on himself. Wille was content with the label of queer until some asshole on the internet said it was “just a cover for being completely homosexual.” Wille had spent months trying to find a label for himself.

Simon knew this. 

He’d meant to hurt Wille. 

And the fact that Simon wanted to hurt him hurt more than the statement itself.

The silence in that room could have stopped the world from spinning.

It was Earth shattering.

It felt like a fundamental shift in the ground they stood on.

Simon’s mouth opened and closed a few times. He had no idea where that came from, and he regretted it as soon as it left his lips. Even more so after he saw the look in Wille’s eyes. “I- I’m sorry. I didn’t-“ 

“I think you should go home, Simon,” Wille cut him off. The Prince couldn’t look up from the floor now. He’d almost refused.

Simon’s eyes glossed over with the realization: he’d hurt Wille.

Badly.

Deeply.

“Wille-“ 

“You’ve probably been here too long. Three days I think,” Wille continued, still not able to look Simon in the eyes. He knew Simon had wanted to hurt him, and it worked. He didn’t think he could keep talking about this tonight. Not rationally. Not productively. Not without also trying to hurt Simon. “Linda will be worried soon.” 

Simon reached out to touch him, but Wille pulled away. In that moment, Simon realized just how badly he’d fucked up. Because Wille never pulled away from Simon’s touch. Ever. He wasn’t actually sure which one of them was worse right now. Because, yes, Wille had hurt his feelings, but Simon had done it on purpose.

Simon had done this - to the person he loved most - intentionally . 

But he wouldn’t say that. He couldn’t . He couldn’t admit that he felt shitty about himself right now, because he wasn’t ready to forgive Wille for kissing Maddie. “Wilhelm, it’s midnight. I can’t go home now, and you know it,” he said instead. 

Wille exhaled sharply and grabbed an extra blanket and pillow from his bed. “Fine. Stay here. I’ll go sleep somewhere else.” 

Simon sighed heavily and tried to get Wille to stop moving towards the door. It wasn’t working. Wille kept slipping out of his grasp.

“Where are you going to go?” he finally asked. Part of him hoped Wille would realize he had nowhere to go right now, but another part of him just needed to know he was going to be safe.

“I don’t know. Maybe Maddie’s room. Since apparently I want to fuck her,” Wille snapped. And then he was gone. He’d slipped out of the room and slammed the door behind him. Wille said a few words to Malin before leaving Simon to think about what he’d done.

Wille did end up in Maddie’s room, but only because it was also Felice’s room. He went to Felice when he was upset. He was undoubtedly upset at the moment. Tears streamed down his cheeks. He was wrapped in a blanket twice the size of his body and holding a blue pillow that he had only just realized had belonged to Simon and not him.

He looked like a demon child . 

He didn’t expect her to open the door at first. It was late, and she was probably asleep. The girls had been fairly intoxicated when they left the party, but he knew they had their traditions to prevent hangovers. He’d walked over here hoping they were still awake.

He was about to turn away when the door flung open, revealing Maddie and Felice dressed in pajamas and wearing facemasks. They only had to look at him for a second to see something was wrong. They immediately ushered him into the room. “Oh Wille, what happened?” Felice asked, sitting him down on her bed. 

Wille was doing his best not to break down in tears for the second time while he replied. His nose was running, his mind was racing, and tears were threatening to turn into sobs again. “We argued. I told him to go home. He can’t because it’s late,” he said vaguely. He waved his weak hand around the room. “Now I’m here.” 

Maddie took a seat at the end of the bed, and Wille began to wonder if this had actually been a very bad idea. “What did you fight about?” she asked. 

Simon would be furious if he found out that Wille had actually ended up in Maddie’s room.

Fuck him. He’s an asshole. I don’t care.

“He’s mad I kissed you at the party,” he explained. 

Felice couldn’t hold in her laugh, though it was definitely influenced by the remaining alcohol in her system. “What? But… everyone knew that meant nothing,” she said. Wille had thought that, too, but apparently not. “Surely Simon-“ 

“He’s mad.” 

“Why?” Maddie asked. 

Wille sighed deeply and dropped back onto Felice’s bed. “I don’t know. It was pretty nasty though,” he said. It had been nasty. They’d both said and done things they didn’t exactly mean. Or maybe Simon did mean them. That was the thing that made his stomach churn the most. “I think he might be worried because… because I’m not labeled .” 

The girls shared confused looks with each other for a brief moment, each of their eyebrows furrowing together, before returning their attention to Wille. He was trying his hardest not to cry again, and it wasn’t working. Tears were pooling in the corners of his eyes, and he knew they would fall whether he wanted them to or not.

“Like I don’t know if I like girls or anything. I haven’t really explored that. I don’t even know if I like guys . I just know I like Simon. That’s all I’m sure about.” 

Felice reached out and moved a piece of hair off of his forehead. “Wille-”

“Can I just sleep here tonight? Please? I can’t go back there,” he said.

And they agreed. He could stay for the night. But he wasn’t getting out of breakfast. They all had plans.

Wille and Simon saw each other at breakfast the next morning. Saturday breakfast had been a tradition for Maddie, Felice, and the couple since the boys had gotten back together. It was one of the things that had made them so popular in the media among Swedish teenagers. Everyone wanted to be invited to their exclusive breakfasts. So far, Sara, Henry, and Walter were the only people to get an invitation. 

Breakfast that morning was awkward. The boys sat next to each other, but far apart. No part of them was touching, even though they usually sat in each other’s laps. It was really quiet for a long time.

“Still pissy?” Simon asked Wille. This conversation didn’t start off well, but at least they were talking.

“Still think I want to fuck Maddie?” Wille snapped back. 

The girls grumbled loudly at them. This was going to be exhausting. 

Simon clenched his teeth. “I don’t know. Did you sleep well in her room last night?” 

Wille laughed angrily under his breath. Simon had never heard that before. None of them had. Wille had never been that mad before. “Did you sleep well in my bed?” 

“No, actually,” Simon said instantly. It finally got them to look at each other. It was tense and uncomfortable, but the comment finally made the boys look at each other. They both looked like they’d been crying - because they had. Both looked exhausted - because neither of them had slept. And they both overall looked like they needed a hug - because they definitely did. “I didn’t sleep well, because you weren’t there.” 

The fight was not easily forgiven. Something certainly changed. But in a good way, they thought. It hurt at the time, and they both had a moment in which they wondered if this was the end, but it was only their first argument. It only made them stronger in the end.

Some topics and actions, however, had been avoided since that night. And Simon realized that living with the attention of a relationship was better than not having one at all. They were a lot more open about their relationship after the fight. Mostly to the media, because neither of them could afford to lose the bet against the Manor House Girls.

Neither boy ever played Truth or Kiss again. 

Date  

Eating lunch in Bjärstad was a normal action for them. They had to eat somewhere, right? And sometimes it was easier - and more fun - to go out to eat instead of trying to cook everything in Linda’s little kitchen. Especially if Linda wasn’t home, and they both craved something they didn’t know how to cook. Or couldn’t cook because the ingredients were missing. Sometimes it was just easier to go out, and it made for fun little dates when they did. 

They’d become especially fond of a little bistro in the center of town. When they first started coming here, it was because it was old and there were few people who were eating there. They started eating there because the restaurant was going under, and they were somewhat protected from the prying eyes of the public. It was in the middle of town, but still fairly secluded, and their food wasn’t half bad.

Simon normally ordered something off their “hot meals” menu - his favorite was called the Paella A La Valenciana - and Wille normally ordered off their “cold meals” menu - his favorite was their Mango Avocado Salad. Sometimes they’d share a pizza instead, and they almost always got dessert. Despite how run-down it was becoming, they quickly discovered that they adored this spot.

The owners were rather kind. Their names were Hilda and Jonas, and they were a charming couple with three grown children. They told the boys all about how they’d started the restaurant after their youngest son decided to move to Stockholm for university. It was just the two of them now, but they liked it that way, even though they missed their children. 

The first time Wille and Simon walked in, the couple nearly fell over themselves. They knew Wille liked to hang around Bjärstad, and they knew it was plausible they’d pass him on the street or in a shop, but they’d never expected to see him in their own little bistro. Bjärstad was small, but not that small. They’d tried to give them the meal for free, muttering incoherent nothings about how royalty didn’t have to pay, but Wille had insisted, and even paid double.

Then they just kept coming back. And Jonas and Hilda eventually picked up on the fact that these boys were very much in love (they didn’t need the media to speculate that for them). Wille and Simon were honest with them about their relationship and said they didn’t really like it when the media followed them around. That’s why they often hid out in the little bistro. As a result, Jonas began confiscating cameras at the front entrance. He couldn’t prevent phones from taking pictures of them, but he could stop paparazzi.

They always came in, ordered one of the same three things, took three hours to eat it, and then paid double before leaving. 

Wille had also spoken to Jonas about the idea of raising his prices in general, not just for the Prince. The elder couple had even joined them for meals at the restaurant a few times. They talked of their own love story, about their kids, about how the business came to be, and why it wasn’t doing very well now. They listened to the younger couple talk about Hillerska, about their story and the video, about how they had friends now.

It was nice. Wille and Simon felt safe there. 

But, like all good things, it came to an end. The media eventually found their little safe haven, and within hours, it was the hottest spot in Bjärstad. Wille and Simon still visited frequently - they even had their own little booth in the corner with a reserved sign on it - but they were seldom alone in the bistro anymore. Jonas had even started hiring more people to work for him. 

Simon and Wille were on a date, though. At this modest bistro in the center of town, that they’d inadvertently made into a tourist attraction.

“The stress of this is going to kill poor Hilda,” Wille said, taking a large bite of his salad. He had ordered his normal meal.

Simon shook his head and grinned as he cut into his salmon. He had not ordered his normal meal. “Wille, they’re just taking chicken jambalaya off the menu,” Simon said. His boyfriend was being dramatic, of course, per usual. “No one even eats regular jambalaya. Nobody is going to even notice it’s gone.” 

It was true. Nobody ate the jambalaya. Especially not the one with chicken in it. Wille didn’t even like jambalaya. It was too spicy for him. He was just acting dramatic for no reason. He was being dramatic on Hilda’s behalf because she had mentioned once that she would be sad if the recipe was lost. Somehow, that was the only part of that conversation that Wille had managed to remember.

“Dessert, boys?” Jonas asked, grinning as he peeked into the booth. Both of them excitedly nodded. They both knew what was on the dessert menu for the day, and they were both more than thrilled to get their hands on it. “I’m not going to ask. I know you want sticky chocolate cake. Vanilla or strawberry ice cream?” 

“Both!” they shouted in unison. 

Jonas nodded and returned to the kitchen with a small smile on his face. They probably wouldn’t actually get the dessert for another twenty minutes. Jonas mostly asked them to be polite. He’d already known their answers and when they’d be ready for it. The two of them were on a schedule while they were in this restaurant - in the sense that they had no schedule at all. 

“Simon!” a boy exclaimed as he plopped down into the booth. Wille had never seen this boy before, but he was more worried about the girl slipping in to sit next to him. “Long time, no see, little man.” 

Little man? Wille questioned himself. He could see the obvious discomfort in Simon’s body and didn’t want to worsen it by asking any questions.

“Can I get a picture?” the girl to his left asked him. 

Wille only barely registered her voice. His focus was locked on Simon, watching as his body language dramatically shifted. “Uh... yeah,” he gave in. These people clearly knew Simon, and he didn’t want to make whatever this was any worse by being an asshole. 

Simon reached across the table to yank on Wille’s sleeve, but he was already leaning into the selfie with a shy grin. “Wille, you don’t have to-” 

“It’s fine, Simme. We do it all the time,” he said.

That was true. Simon and Wille took pictures with people everywhere they went. It seemed like everyone wanted to have their pictures. Sometimes people wouldn’t even ask for one. They’d just take pictures from far away and pretend like the couple couldn’t see them doing it. 

“Aren’t you going to introduce us, Simme ?” the boy asked. Wille did not like the way that sounded coming out of his mouth. That name was reserved for Simon’s closest friends and family, and Wille deduced from the fact that he had never met this boy that he was neither a friend nor family. He didn’t like the way he’d said Simon’s nickname. Like it was derogatory. 

Simon shifted uncomfortably, and Wille knocked their feet together under the table. I’m here.

With a curt nod, Simon cleared his throat. He’d been media-trained now. Simple introductions were not a problem for him. “Wille, this is David. We went to Marieberg together. David, this is Crown Prince Wilhelm .” 

Wille gave him a quick shake of the head but didn’t extend his hand for a handshake as he normally would have. Something about this guy made him uneasy. He got the wrong vibe. Simon was nervous, this boy was cocky, the girl who’d been with him was way out of his league and had probably been lured here on the promise of meeting a prince. Wille didn’t like him.

“This is my girlfriend. Astrid,” David said. Astrid waved to both boys with a sheepish smile. She didn’t appear to be as bad as David was. Again, Wille wondered if she’d been lured here with the promise of meeting someone important. “So what’s life like now that you’re royalty ?” 

“I’m not royalty,” Simon mumbled. He shrugged David off his shoulder and looked down at his meal. Wille wanted to grab his hand. Kiss his palm and tell him everything was alright. He wanted to, but he knew David would say something.

David laughed to himself and bumped against Simon once again. “No, but you are famous,” he said. Simon tensed even more than before. Since they’d been together, Wille had only seen a few individuals have this effect on Simon. August was one of those people. Micke was another. Wille had no idea who this guy was, but he knew he ought to be concerned. “Come on. Bjärstad is small, Eriksson. It’s not everyday one of us turns the Prince of Sweden gay.” 

Simon shoved him off harder this time. “That’s enough,” he snapped.

Wille didn’t let the comment change his demeanor in any way. He knew guys like David. He knew not to let guys like David have any power. None. Not even over your reactions. His face stayed painfully cold through the whole ordeal. 

He knew guys like David because August was like David.

But then Wille looked over at Simon again. He’d entirely stopped speaking. His breathing was irregular, and his eyes were kind of glazed over. He was staring at the salt shaker next to Wille’s hand and paying no attention to the conversation.

Wille knew this part of Simon too well. He was dissociating. They’d been dealing with this since the video got released over a year ago. It was a part of their lives now. Just like Wille’s anxiety was part of their lives. They dealt with it. They found ways to deal with it. Because this was their life now. They didn’t have a choice.

Wille slipped his signet ring off his finger and pressed it into Simon’s hand. Normally, Simon would fiddle with the ring while it was still on Wille’s finger. It was more effective that way. But, again, David was here. Wille didn’t want to add fuel to the already disastrous fire. 

Simon started fiddling with it right away, focusing as much as he could on it to pull him back to reality. There were other things they could do, but this was their first step. They always tried to get Simon to concentrate on something first before they tried anything else. They just needed to start by getting him grounded in reality.

It was similar with Wille’s anxiety. They got him to focus on things he could touch or hear or see to calm him down before they addressed anything about the anxiety itself. It wasn’t always as easy as just telling him to breathe.

“How do you know each other?” Wille asked, taking over the conversation. Simon clearly wasn’t in the right frame of mind to continue, and David wasn’t leaving. “Marieberg?” 

David was staring at the signet ring in Simon’s hand, but nodded at Wille’s question. Sure, this action of exchanging a ring hadn’t been the most subtle thing they could have done, but they also didn’t acknowledge it at all. David wouldn’t either if he was smart. 

“Yeah. We… we roughed each other up a bit back in mellanstadiet. I think I cut off Rosh’s ponytail once,” he explained. The girl sitting beside Wille was more interested in her phone than in the conversations, but she still laughed at the mention of Rosh.

Wille assumed this wasn’t friendly banter between them. He knew Rosh didn’t have very many friends other than Simon and Ayub. He also doubted that David was someone Rosh would be caught dead with.

“I still don’t know why she was upset about it. Don’t dykes normally wear their hair short?” 

Simon and Wille both flinched at the word. They’d been around Rosh enough to know that she’d had that word used against her way too often. Just because she presented a little more masculine than the other girls in Bjärstad. Just because the other lesbians at her school didn’t look like she did. Even her own family had used the slur a few times, which had earned them several angry phone calls from Linda.

So that was when Wille decided. “I’m going to punch him,” he said out loud. He didn’t know if he’d meant to say it out loud, but the look on David’s face was absolutely worth it.

Simon reached out and pulled Wille’s hand as far away from the other boy as he could. “Wille, no. Kristina will kill you,” he said. He was right, of course. Kristina would die of embarrassment if Wille got into another fight, and then she’d resurrect just to kick his ass.

“Since when are you on a first name basis with the Queen?” David scoffed. There was something about the way he’d spat you at Simon that made Wille’s blood begin to boil. 

“Since he slept with the Crown Prince,” Wille snapped at him.

David looked over at Wille for the first time in a long minute, and both boys watched as he realized exactly who he was talking to. He’d come over here to tease Simon - to bully him - but had completely forgotten who Simon was now.

He wasn’t just a kid from Bjärstad that people could pick on anymore. Whether or not he was dating Wille, he was still part of that world. He was still part of the Crown Prince’s inner circle. They couldn’t just make fun of Simon without consequences anymore. Especially not in front of Wille.

So, Wille made a petty show of looking over his shoulder at his and Simon’s security personnel. “Malin, can you please escort this young man out of the restaurant and make sure his date gets home safely?” 

Malin gladly obliged. She’d made an equally petty show of kicking David out of Jonas and Hilda’s bistro, and had called a cab for the young girl. Wille, of course, paid for the cab. 

Neither of them were surprised that night to find their couple moniker trending. They never would understand why the world called them wilmon when sille was right there, and would have arguably been more entertaining. 

They’d ended up at Drottningholm on Sunday. Kristina had told them it wasn’t bad news, but probably news they didn’t want to hear. They were prepared for the media shitstorm that would eventually follow them. They’d been preparing. The previous summer had been a pretty good indicator of how ridiculous the tabloids could get with their articles.

“It’s all nice, actually,” Kristina said. She placed a laptop in front of them, which brightly displayed the fourteen articles for them to read. “Luckily, the girl didn’t say anything bad about you. She did, however, mention meeting the Crown Prince and his boyfriend. Naturally, the media had a field day with that. They’re conjuring up all kinds of conspiracies. Only some of them are true.” 

Simon and Wille were holding hands, as usual. It kept Wille from biting his nails and provided Simon the ring to fidget with if he needed it. It worked well for both of them.

“What now?” Simon asked her. Because, really, what could they do? 

Kristina sighed lightly and took a seat at the table. “What do you want to do?” she asked them. It wasn’t the first time she’d asked them what they wanted, but it still felt weird. It was strange to see Kristina actually consider what they wanted, even though she’d been doing it for a year now. “It isn’t the first time people are writing about you. The two of you were in the tabloids all summer long. This is just the first time since you’ve gotten back together that credible news sources are writing.” 

Wille took a deep breath and turned to face Simon, who looked more content than he had in months. Neither of them were upset by this. Being officially labeled as boyfriends by credible news sources made both of their hearts skip a beat. It was really rather exciting. “What are our options?” Wille asked. 

“Well, you could go public,” Kristina said. “An official statement expressing that you’re together and exploring a serious partnership and all the sappy things I had to do with your father when we were younger. Or… you could just go on being yourselves. You don’t have to say anything. Don’t confirm or deny it, just pretend like it never happened.” 

That’s what they had been doing for a year. Not saying anything. It was only tabloids before, but it had all been fine. Not saying anything to credible news sources wouldn’t be any different. They’d be confirming without confirming. Like they wanted from the start.

So that’s what they did. All the way until their courting announcement a year later. They didn’t say anything. They didn’t confirm or deny. They just lived. They existed together in real life and in the media. They let people come to their own conclusions. They let the ridiculous headlines continue to surface, and they let Maddie make a scrapbook of all of them.

They just loved each other.

They didn’t have to explain themselves. 

Bonus: Fredrika’s Article 

Fredrika sat in the library, nearly pulling her hair out as she stared blankly at a notebook. “I have no ideas,” she complained. Stella offered her a gentle laugh but said nothing. “Seriously, I have no ideas. I don’t know how I’m going to get into this program if I can’t think of anything to write about.” 

Stella shut her laptop and placed her hand on her best friend’s shoulder. “Freddy, I’m sure you’ll think of something,” she said. 

Fredrika was applying for a journalism program after she graduated from Hillerska. She discovered that her love of gossip had some influence in the world. She could easily make a career out of it. That was her plan. She just needed to write an article to send with her application, and her time at a prestigious boarding school did not exactly provide her with the worldly experience she needed in order to write it.

Wille and Simon sat across from her at the table, absolutely beaming. She thought it was irritating how cheerful they were. Because they were courting now, and they were all happy and smiley, and everything was perfect for them. Their announcement had gone out a week ago and the whole country was absolutely buzzing for them.

She loathed their happiness right now. She couldn’t find one second in her day when she wasn’t thinking about this damn article, and they were just so happy . It was annoying beyond belief. It was the first time she’d ever hated love. 

“Freddy… we have a proposition for you,” Wille said. 

Fredrika lifted her brows to indicate she was paying attention, but she was clearly exhausted. Simon reached out and took her hand in his. “Would you like to… maybe … write your article about us?” he asked her. 

Fredrika sat up straight in her chair. “ What? ” 

“The article for your application,” Wille clarified. “We think you should write about us. No one has written about our actual relationship before, and we have to publish some kind of interview soon. You’re our friend and we trust you to write it well.” 

Fredrika looked back and forth between the boys rapidly. Surely she’d completely misunderstood that. She was eighteen years old and had never published an article in her life. Surely the Crown Prince and his Official Suitor did not want her to write their first official article as a couple. “What- but- why would you-?” 

“An exclusive look into the relationship of the future King and Prince Consort ought to gain some attention from admissions,” Simon smirked.

Stella shook her head fondly at the boys, but couldn’t contain her giggles as Fredrika nearly fell out of her chair. Normally she would have made a joke about them “setting the date” or something equally stupid. Fredrika, on the other hand, was making everyone laugh too hard to crack jokes.

“You can also use pictures from our private instagrams,” Wille added. Instead of saying any comprehensible words, Fredrika shrieked and wrapped her arms around the two of them tightly.

The Party Prince and the Boy from Bjärstad by Fredrika Fransson

The Party Prince and the Boy from Bjärstad has become a beloved story in the hearts of many Swedish citizens. Their couple moniker, Wilmon , has become one of the most commonly used hashtags when you look up the Swedish Monarchy, and millions of teens around the world look to these two boys as role models for the queer movement. 

I am here to tell you that they are absolutely not what you think. 

“The Party Prince” does not exist. Crown Prince Wilhelm is not at all a partier. This boy would much rather sit on the couch and watch romcoms with his friends than go to clubs like most teenagers. His favorite movie is Breakfast At Tiffany’s (1961) because “it’s just so amazing. She doesn’t even name the cat because she doesn’t want to get attached. How tragic is that?” And this boy does, indeed, cry every single time we watch it. His go-to movie snack is always vanilla ice cream with too much caramel drizzle on it. He has a frog snow globe on his bedside table and will not admit to having a favorite stuffed animal, but we all know it’s the duck, Wilhelm. 

One might think this Prince only becomes the “Party” version of himself when he drinks, but even that isn’t accurate. In the small handful of times I have seen this Crown Prince drunk, he has clung to his boyfriend like a leech and rambled about obscure facts that no one at the party asked for. I can recite most of Hamlet now, though, so thank you for that, Wilhelm. A skill that I am absolutely sure will come in handy sometime in my life.

This is the most gentle person you will ever meet. No one who knows him personally is exactly sure how he received this “tough guy” persona. I have only ever watched Wilhelm punch two people. One was August of Årnas (who really deserved it, you can find articles about this ex-royal on most corners of the internet) and the other time was an accident. Wilhelm is perhaps the most soft-spoken, gentle human being I have ever met. 

Simon Eriksson is quite the opposite. This young boy from Bjärstad is far from what you might expect. He has become quite the media darling in the last few years, but don’t let that angel smile deceive you. Simon is an agent of chaos. 

He will always take the opportunity to speak about what he’s passionate about - even if it is against his boyfriend’s position. Yes, Simon Eriksson has his fair share of criticisms of the monarchy, though we see that a lot of change has been made to the Royal Family’s way of life since Simon started going out with our young prince. We can all assume this was Simon’s doing. 

Despite his dislikes for the generally wealthy, Simon loves luxury items. He will never admit to it, but his favorite item of clothing (after his hoodies) is a one of a kind Versace suit that he wore to the Queen’s 56th birthday party. You’ve all seen the pictures. Don’t pretend you haven’t. He went viral for like four weeks and Ariana Grande tweeted about it. You’ve all seen the suit.

Simon doesn’t drink, but he will absolutely be your parent for the night if you decide to. I’ve had him hold my hair back many, many times. He even finds it endearing when his drunk boyfriend begins to ramble about random topics that no one else really understands. He still pretends to understand the topics because they are a very cute couple and they just do that for each other.

His favorite movie is Daisies (1966) because “it was so unhinged that the Czech government banned it.” If you ask him to explain the plot of this movie, he will tell you “no,” but we’re all pretty sure it’s because he doesn’t know, either. None of us will watch it with him, except Wilhelm, who has fallen asleep every single time they’ve started it. Simon’s go-to movie snack is Funyuns, but no one is quite sure how he gets them, as the closest country that sells them is the United Kingdom. We thought for a while that Wilhelm was somehow getting them shipped over, but he seems just as clueless as the rest of us.

Simon has three fish that he has named and refuses to pick a favorite. We all know it’s Felle, but we promised not to tell the others.

These two extremely strange boys found each other through what we can only imagine is the power of love. Anyone close to them can tell you that the longest they’ve been apart since they got together was three weeks when Wilhelm went to Canada. In those three weeks, anyone close to Simon can tell you that it was torture. Not just for Simon, but for anyone who had to listen to him whine about missing Wilhelm. I can personally testify to the whining. I was there.

The couple is officially courting, and the country couldn’t be more happy for them. Of course, no one’s more happy than their friends and family, who have been watching the two of them grow together as partners and friends for the last two years. I can safely say that there is not a person in this country that isn’t looking forward to a Wilmon wedding. 

I do hope they’ll let me cover that, too. 

- Freddy. 

It, of course, was a smashing success of an article. It was in every newspaper, on every blog, and tweeted out about a million different times. The Queen had even posted on the monarchy’s official social media accounts with a link to it. Obviously Fredrika got into that program she’d been worried about. 

Wille and Simon nearly peed themselves laughing while they read it. They’d made a great decision by letting Fredrika write the article about their relationship. It was everything they wanted and more. It was a very good representation of what their lives look like, and it was written by someone who actually knew them. This is what they’d been looking for from the media this whole time. What they’d been craving. 

Authenticity .

Of course, she was invited to be the journalist for their wedding preparations a few years later. She did a wonderful job, too, considering she was also in the wedding.