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Mumei was five years old when she first sees strings that is tied in her hand.
Two blue strings are latched on her right wrist.
She told her parents about it and soon after that, she found herself on her mom's lap while her dad showed her a picture book about strings with different colors.
"Is this what you see on your and our wrist, honey?" Her dad asked as he show a picture of a blue string that is similar to the one on hers and her parents' wrists.
Mumei nodded.
"This string represents family bonds," her dad explained to her, "Which is why it latched on yours and mine as well as your mother. Every string's color represents a different meaning. Yellow for friendship, purple for your first love, green for someone you once know but frow distant, black from people you resent and the most important one is red which is only reserved for your soulmate."
Mumei wrinkled her nose, "But I only have blue strings. Why I don't have other colors strings?"
Her mom smiled as she leaned down and kiss Mumei's cheek, "Don't worry, honey. As you grow older and meet people, you will gain strings. From people, you consider as friends, from your first love, from people who you grew distant with, and hopefully from your soulmates as well." She said softly, "But I do pray you will never get a black string."
"Did you have strings mom? Can you see them?" Mumei asked curiously which made her mom laugh.
"Everyone had strings, but not everyone can see them. Only a few people can. Blessed people, like you."
"I am blessed?"
Her dad strokes her hair, "Yes you are, and we are blessed for having you in our life."
Mumei let out a small hum. There are still many things she doesn't understand. But like her mom said, as she grows older, she will gain strings, and maybe by that time she will also understand more about strings. So for now, she will just enjoy the feeling of her mom's warm hug and dad's soft hand.
XXX
It was not until Mumei reach the age of 10 that she finally gained her first string that is not her parents'.
As Mumei grow up, she quickly realized that she is different from the kids around her age. Aside from the glaring fact that she can see strings, she was not as active as the others – preferring to sit on the bench while the other kids played tags or balls and she has a peculiar taste (or at least that is what her parents and teachers said) of drawing that made other kids shunned her and called her as a weirdo.
One girl even cry when she saw Mumei's drawing which prompted Mumei to look for other places to draw.
She was looking for a quiet secluded place when she saw a girl around her age, sitting alone on a bench in their school backyard. Her eyebrows scrunched together in concentration as she tried to read the book on her lap.
Intrigued, Mumei walked closer to the girl.
"Oh, hi!" Mumei said as soon as she was standing in front of the girl, earning a startled voice from the other girl.
The girl looked up, and the first thing that Mumei noticed is that the girl had pretty deep blue eyes which right now stared at her with alarm and the second thing that she notices is that the girl had beautiful blue hair which is dancing slightly from the wind. She decides that this girl is as pretty as the princess she's been seeing in her picture book.
Mumei shifted from one foot to another as the girl studied her – or at least that is what it feels from how intense the girl stared at her.
"Do you-" the girl started and Mumei's ears perked up at the sounds of her voice, "need something?"
Mumei smiled brightly, "Can I draw here?" she asked, showing the girl her sketchbook.
The girl scrunched her eyebrows together. She looked at Mumei first before turning to the sketchbook and finally after some long seconds, she sighed and nodded.
"Sure,"
Beaming happily, Mumei quickly climbs up to the bench and positions herself right on the girl's side.
"I'm Mumei!" Mumei said happily, "Nanashi Mumei."
The girl blinked, once – twice before softly saying, "Ouro Kronii,"
"Nice to meet you, Kronii!"
"You as well."
Mumei let out a happy hum before she finally turned her focus on her sketchbook and start drawing. She can feel Kronii watch her but she doesn't mind.
After a few minutes of watching Mumei drawing, Kronii probably decides that she is harmless because she finally turns her attention away from Mumei and continued reading her book.
They spend the rest of their lunchtime like that. Reading and drawing without many words exchanged between them. But it's okay, Mumei enjoys Kronii presence and she hopes Kronii feels the same as well.
When the school bell rang, Kronii looked at her as if she wants to say something but decide against it. Kronii jumped off the bench however before she can walk away, Mumri found herself reaching out towards Kronii and grab on her shirt – startling not only Kronii but herself as well.
"Yes?" Kronii asked.
"Can I draw here again, tomorrow?"
Kronii stared at her, "This is a public place, you know? You can do whatever you want."
"But I don't want to bother you,"
"You are fine,"
"Is that a yes?"
Kronii shrugged, "Maybe."
"So is that mean I will see you here again tomorrow?" Mumei asked and she marveled at the way Kronii's eyes sparkled when she answered, "We'll see."
It was not a solid answer yes or no – but Mumei wants to believe that Kronii didn't mind spending her time with her. So, with a hopeful heart, Mumei nodded her head and watched Kronii walk away.
And when she saw Kronii on the same bench – reading a book just like she was the day before, Mumei couldn't help herself but beamed and launch herself toward Kronii who let out a surprise and shouted as Mumei tackled her into a hug.
After that, Mumei always spends her lunch time with Kronii.
She really likes Kronii and she wants to be friends with her. This is why when Kronii accidentally saw her drawing, she couldn't help but shivered. She was afraid that Kronii will give her a disgusted look and even called her weirdo just like the other kids in her class.
But Kronii didn't judge her.
Instead, she looked at it with a serious expression that she usually only shows when she was reading before nodding her head and patting Mumei's head.
"It looks great," she said and Mumei released the breath she's been holding as she was waiting for Kronii's reaction.
"Y-You sure?" Mumei asked.
"Yes, Mumei."
"It is not-" Mumei turn the sketchbook at her and frowned at her drawing – a drawing of a man with sharp razor teeth and red eyes. "It is not creepy?"
"I don't see any problem in that."
Mumei bites her lips, "But… other kids call me a weirdo."
"You are not a weirdo, Mumei. Everyone has their own perception when they are making something, it just happens that this is yours." Kronii explained and although Mumei hardly understand what she means – Kronii likes to use big words – she know that Kronii didn't judge her or even look at her differently.
"So… I am not a weirdo?"
Kronii shook her head, "Not at all."
"Even when I am drawing this? And this? And-" Mumei frantically flipped her sketchbook pages, showing Kronii drawing after drawing.
Kronii let out a laugh, "You are not, Mumei. In fact, that is what makes you special."
Mumei's eyes sparkled in happiness then tackled Kronii into a hug – which is one of her favorite things to do – and make Kronii let out a groan.
"Can you please be more careful?" Kronii scolded Mumei but didn't make a move to shove or pushed Mumei away.
"I'm just so happy!" Mumei said and right at that moment, Mumei felt it. The tingling feeling suddenly came up to her pinky finger and when she looked at it, she couldn't help but let out a gasp when she saw a soft yellow string latched itself on her pinky finger before slowly reaching out towards Kronii's and did the same.
"What?" Kronii asked when she heard Mumei gasp.
"We are friends!" Mumei shouted happily.
Kronii frowned but there is a tint of redness on her cheek, "No we are not, we are only acquaintances at the best."
Mumei beamed and put her right pinky finger up – where the string latched, "That is not what the string said!"
"The… string?"
Mumei nodded and started to tell Kronii everything that she knows about the strings and her ability to see them. After all, Kronii is her first friend and friend didn't keep a secret from each other.
XXX
Mumei was not so sure what she expects when she became friends with Kronii, but she guesses that whatever that expectation is, Kronii definitely pass it with flying colors.
She was always there for Mumei even when other kids shunned her.
She always without fail, managed to brighten Mumei's day with her wits and sarcastic remarks.
She was also a good listener, always listening to Mumei's incessant rambling and giving good advice as well.
Mumei trusts Kronii with all of her heart and she does hope that Kronii shares the same sentiment with her as well.
Being with Kronii is so easy and natural for Mumei – almost like taking a breath that Mumei can't imagine the day without Kronii in it.
So lost in her thoughts, Mumei doesn't even realize that she's been staring at Kronii longer than necessary until Kronii lifted her eyes from the book she's been reading to Mumei.
"Did I have something in my face?" Kronii asked.
"No," Mumei replied.
Kronii frowned, "Then why you've been staring at me for the past ten minutes?"
"It just-" Mumei curled her fingers – suddenly feeling shy at what she was about to reveal.
Kronii looked at her expectantly but otherwise didn't say anything. She just waits patiently for Mumei to talk. A small gesture but it means so much for Mumei.
"I am happy that I can be your friend, Kronii." Mumei softly said, looking at her string.
For a moment Kronii didn't say anything and Mumei thought she scared her. But then she let out a small chuckle that makes Mumei look up and saw Kronii's cheeks and even ears tinted in red.
Kronii shook her head before adding with a smile, "I am glad to be your friend as well."
XXX
Mumei put her books down – making quite a loud noise at the supposed to be silent library when she pulls her seat next to Kronii who looked up from the book in her hands and raises her eyebrows towards Mumei.
"What happened?"
"I hate math," Mumei complained while Kronii put her book down and took one from the pile.
"I'm sure it was not that bad," Kronii said – eyes scanning the book. It was one of the books that the teacher gave to Mumei, something about basic math exercises to help her.
Mumei wrinkled her nose and she laid her head on the cold table, eyes looking straight into Kronii's, "I am the only one who get a D on our exam last week."
"Okay, it was bad."
"Kroniiiiiii," Mumei whined.
Kronii let out a small laugh before opening the book and sliding it in front of Mumei who made a face at it.
"Come on, do your work."
"No."
"You won't be able to understand it if you don't try solving them."
Mumei looked away.
Letting out a sigh, Kronii put her hand on Mumei's back and patted it until Mumei turned to look at her again.
"I'll help," Kronii offered.
"…Okay,"
Kronii smiled before start explaining and after two hours of studying with Kronii, Mumei can safely say that Kronii is a good teacher and she still hates math but she can tolerate it as long as she can spend her time with Kronii like this.
XXX
"Do you wish that you can see other strings?" Kronii asked as she looked at Mumei.
They both were laying on the floor in Mumei's room – books about strings sprawled around them making Mumei's room messier than it already is. Kronii, ever the studious one, was in the middle of reading a book that explain about people with abilities – people like Mumei – while Mumei doodling some monster picture beside her.
It's not like Mumei was not curious about her abilities or strings like Kronii is, she just doesn't like reading too much. This is why she usually opted to let Kronii do all the research and explain it to her later.
Just like what she's been doing for the last past few months.
"Hm?"
"Your ability," Kronii started to explain. She pointed at the certain paragraph in the book which made Mumei finally drop her colored pencil and turn her attention towards Kronii, "It says in here that some people can see all strings, not just their own but everyone strings and in a rare case, they can even let people who can't see any string – like me, to see theirs."
"Oh."
"So, do you?" Kronii asked, nudging her shoulder with Mumei's.
Mumei shook her head, "No, I never think about it. I'm already happy to see my own." She softly said as she looked at her right hand where three strings – blue and yellow – latched, "It will be nice though."
"What is?"
"To have the ability to let other people see strings," Mumei said as she wiggled her pinky finger where Kronii's string is, "I want to show you, our string."
"It is a bummer." Kronii said and Mumei pouted.
"Yeah…"
Kronii smiled, "You can show me in a different way, though."
"Huh?" Mumei perked up. She looked at Kronii's eyes, watching as they glint in a certain way that after being friends with Kronii for months – almost a year – Mumei learned that means Kronii had some ideas formed in her brain.
"Show me," Kronii softly said as she put up her pinky finger – the one where Mumei's string is – and wiggled it.
Mumei blinked.
Kronii huffed, "How long will you make me wait?" she asked.
And only then did the meaning of Kronii's words hit Mumei. Mumei's mouth formed an 'o' before she hurriedly grabs Kronii's left hand and guides it to where their string is. Between their pinky fingers.
"It's right here," Mumei softly said, marveling at the sight of Kronii's hand grazing their string. She once did it before – tugging the string and asking Kronii if she feels that. Kronii just rolled her eyes back then but this time it was different.
Mumei can actually feel the slight tug at her pinky when Kronii strokes the string with Mumei's hand guiding her, "Can you feel it?" she whispered.
"Not at all."
Mumei frowned, "Concentrate."
"I am."
"Not hard enough." Mumei pouted.
Kronii laughed, bumping their head together and somehow it led to all out-tickle war.
As they both laid down on their back – breathless from the tickle war, Mumei looked at the yellow string on her finger – yellow, not pale yellow like the one she had before. Kronii told her that strings can change color and Mumei believe it means that their bond is now deeper.
Smiling, Mumei looked at Kronii before tugging their string once again.
XXX
The walk towards the middle school wasn't long, but Mumei was jittery enough that Kronii offered to walk together this morning even though it will take two times longer for her.
Mumei truly feels grateful for that.
"Do you think we're going to be in the same class?" Mumei asked. Her voice trembled and she had to stop herself from biting her lips.
Thankfully, Kronii didn't comment on how obviously nervous she is.
"Well, I don't know but even if we are not, it's okay."
Mumei's eyes widened, "B-But it is not!" she complained, "I want to be in the same class with you! It's like taking the first step on a new journey together!" she explained, hands flailing around which made Kronii let out a chuckled.
"Do you-" Mumei bites her lips as she frowned, "Do you not want to be in the same class with me?"
Kronii startled, "Oh God, how in the world did you come to that conclusion?" she shook her head, "Of course, I want to be in the same class with you."
"But you said-"
"I only said it's okay if we are not in the same class. I never said that I don't want to be in the same class with you, Mumei." Kronii explained.
"But why?" Mumei asked.
"Sure, being in the same class will be fun. So much fun but even if we are not, it's okay because I know that no matter what we will always be there for each other." Kronii said and even though she sounds confident – a slight tint of red on her face reminds Mumei of back when Kronii told her that they are not friends yet.
It makes Mumei happy about how far they had come.
"Promise?" Mumei asked, offering her pinky finger towards Kronii who look at it for a second before shaking her head. An amused smile latched on her face as she hooks her pinky finger with Mumei.
"I promise."
XXX
Mumei has never felt this frustrated before.
She doesn't understand.
She and Kronii are friends.
Best friends even as Mumei told everything to Kronii and Kronii as well.
She believes that they are strong together – they are inseparable and their string proves it as it becomes yellower for each day that passed.
But yet now, Mumei just doesn't know anymore. For the first time in their two years of friendship, Mumei doubts them.
It is not without any good reason either.
Kronii had avoided her for the past few weeks ever since they are back from the summer break.
At first, Mumei thought that maybe Kronii is busy. Being 12 years old middle schooler means that you hold many new responsible and Kronii being Kronii – Mumei believes she took too much on her plate and now she is struggling to find balance for it.
However, it soon becomes clearer to her that Kronii was not busy, in fact, she actually avoids her. Kronii avoid any eye contact with her, never eat lunch with her anymore, didn't reply to her text or call and she even ran away when she saw her.
And now, as Mumei watched their string, she couldn't help but teared up. The string was still there but instead of the dark yellow she's been accustomed to for the past years, it started to lean into green color.
Which scared Mumei.
Oh God, it truly scares Mumei that she started to spend every moment she had looking at the string. Praying and hoping it won't change into green at all.
"Go talk to her," her mom soft voice pulled Mumei out from her staring contest with her string. She turned to look at her mom, eyebrows scrunched together.
"But what if she doesn't want to talk to me?" Mumei asked, voice barely above whispered.
Her mom strokes her hair – a gesture that she always does to reassure Mumei, "You still need to try, Mumei. Would you rather have your string change color into green without any explanation and fight or get the explanation and had a chance to fight it?"
"I-I want to fight," Mumei answered, "Kronii is my first friend – she is my best friend. I want to fight for us."
"Then you know what to do," her mom said, leaning to kiss the top of Mumei's head.
Mumei nodded.
Yes, she knew what she needs to do.
The next day, she makes sure to went to school as early as possible and then hides behind the school gate, waiting for Kronii to show up.
It takes her at least an hour of waiting and several curious looked from other students before finally, Kronii came into her sight.
Without wasting any other minutes, Mumei quickly grabs Kronii's hand – making the other girl let out a surprised yelp before pulling her.
"Mumei?! What are you doing?!"
Mumei ignores her. She keeps pulling Kronii until they reach an empty classroom. She quickly locked the room before turning around. She wants to shout at her – maybe even hit Kronii but the moment her eyes met Kronii's, all anger, and frustration in her disappeared into the thin air. Instead, sadness came and engulfed her.
Kronii was there, paler than the last time Mumei remembered. She also looks thinner and had eye bags which made Mumei briefly wonder how little sleep did she get for the past few weeks. However, what hurt Mumei the most is the look in her eyes.
It was anguish.
As if looking at Mumei hurting her.
"Did I-" Mumei started. Her voice cracked but she keeps pushing on, afraid that if she stops, she won't have any courage to continue, "Did I do something wrong?"
Kronii eyes widened in surprise.
"N-No, you did not." Kronii quickly answered.
"Y-you don't have to lie to me Kronii," Mumei said and by now, she can feel tears starting to fall from her eyes. Clumsily, she wipes it away with her hands. "You've been avoiding me ad I- I just don't know what actually happens. What did I do to make you hate me-"
"I don't hate you Mumei! Oh God, I never hate you." Kronii walked towards Mumei, putting her hands on Mumei's shoulder, "I'm just in the bad place,"
"Then why are you avoiding me?" Mumei pressed, "I- At first, I thought that you were just busy but then you keep running away from me and I want to think nothing about it, I want to think that maybe it was just my mind playing a trick on me. But it is not." Mumei shook her head, "I just- I just don't know what to think anymore, I was afraid but still, I want to believe that we are okay and then the string-" Mumei choked.
Mumei could feel the hold on her shoulders tightened but she can't stop. She needs to finish it.
"Our string started to change color and I am scared- I really am scared Kronii. Scare that you hate me- scare that one day I will wake up and not have you in my life."
"Mumei…"
"I just…" Mumei buried her face in her hands.
"I- I am so sorry, " Kronii took a deep breath, "I'm just… I avoid you because I hate myself."
Mumei looked at Kronii in surprise, "Huh?"
"I-" Kronii bites her lips, eyebrows scrunched in frustration. Mumei know that looked, it was the look that Kronii often had when she was debating inside her mind. A look that she gave to Mumei before she told Mumei one of her darkest secrets.
Kronii exhaled, "It's my dad," she softly said, letting her hands fall to her side.
"Your dad?"
"He- He left me and my mom to be with someone else. Someone who is his soulmate, he said."
Mumei let out a gasp, "What-"
"Apparently on the summer vacation, he met this person who is his soulmate, and she-" Kronii took a deep breath and run her fingers through her hair. Her voice was calm but her eyes flashed in anger. "She can let people see their strings. She shows my dad that their string is connected – a red string, unlike with my mom which is only purple string."
Kronii looked down, "After that, home feels like hell. He and mom keep fighting every day, there was never a day without shouting. They fight for even just the smallest thing. What once makes them laugh now makes them shout to each other and then- he… he just left us." Kronii smiled, a pained smile on her face, "Funny right? How he left us, his family for twenty years just because of some red string."
Mumei pulled Kronii into a hug.
"I- I don't understand," Kronii breathes into her shoulders. Her body shaking as Mumei's arms circling on her waist and Mumei can feel the clothes on her shoulder getting wet, "H-How can he leave us just because of some strings- some red string that-" Kronii choked and Mumei rubs her fingers on Kronii's back – hoping it was enough to tell the girl that she there for her.
"It just does not makes any sense at all! What is so special about red string?! Being connected to a red string – being soulmate to each other, is that means that people can only love who had their red string?!" Kronii shouted angrily, and Mumei tightened her hold on the other girl, "If that is the truth then is that mean the love that my dad and mom had are nothing but lies?! So, all the moments they had, all love they share before to each other and to me – is that all lies?!"
At this point, Mumei couldn't help but also buried her face in Kronii's shoulder and cry silently with her best friend. It hurts – it really hurt to see Kronii like this and she couldn't do anything about it.
"Th-The book said that string can change into red strings – so why my dad string with mom was not?" Kronii softly whispered. All the fight, the tension, and the anger vanished from her body. She buried her face deeper on Mumei's shoulder, "I just- I just don't know anymore Mumei… and I- I am so sorry-" Kronii choked, "God, I am so sorry for hurting you."
"It's okay Kronii," Mumei murmured, "It's okay,"
Kronii shook her head, "It's not- I hurt you."
"Kronii-"
"No, please let me say it. I am sorry that I hurt you, it just- at that time I was so angry and I blame everything. I blame how unfair the world is. I blame the strings, I blame people with ability, and I- I even blame you for that."
Mumei stiffened.
"Is-Is that why you avoid me?"
"No," Kronii shook her head, "I-I realize that other people were not to be blamed. It was not like you are the one who show my dad his string and convince him to leave. It was not you who decide for him. But still, even just for a moment, I blame you and that is not- that is not right. I hate myself for that and I feel like I was not a good friend which is why I- I avoided you. I am so sorry, Mumei."
"Hush," Mumei said, pulling away from the hug so Kronii can look at her, "First of all, don't say that you are not a good friend because you are, the best even. The best that I could ever ask for."
"But I blame you and then hurt you by avoiding you-"
"That doesn't mean that you are a bad friend, you are just in the bad place like you said, and-" Mumei bumped their forehead together, "I am sorry for not being there for you."
"It's not your fault, I am the one who didn't tell you-"
"Still, I should be there for you. I should try harder to reach you than just leave you alone." Mumei firmly said before she wipes the tears on Kronii's cheek, "And I forgive you Kronii."
Kronii closed her eyes, "T-Thank you Mumei, that's- that means a lot to me."
Mumei nodded before finally asking the question she's been fearing to ask, "Did you- did you hate string now?"
Kronii opened her eyes, staring straightly at Mumei's and Mumei couldn't help but feel nervous to hear Kronii's answer. She always likes strings – her strings. They are like reassurance that she still has the bond with people she loves and cares for.
It also holds a deep memory between her and Kronii where they stay up late and read book after book – or more like Kronii did while she just listens to her explanation – to understand what string truly means.
The strings to her are special.
But if Kronii hates them, she doesn't know what to feel about them anymore.
"To be honest, I- I don't know." Kronii answered and Mumei let the air she's been holding to left her lungs, "I have mixed feelings about them right now." Kronii frowned, "It just- It feels so weird because for as long as I remember, I truly like them. I am always curious about them, always try my best to learn more about them, and the more I know, the more I find them fascinating but-" Kronii let out a deep sigh, "I don't know what to believe anymore, Mumei."
"Understandable."
Kronii offered a small smile and it pained Mumei how that smile didn't reach her eyes.
"However, what I can tell you is that my feeling for red string is nothing but hatred."
Mumei bites her lips, a small pang of pain in her heart.
"I- I once believe them. But now after everything, it just feels that red string is nothing but a shackle." Kronii clenched her hands, "A shackle that told you – tied you to love someone no matter what just because they are supposed to be your soulmate. If you love them because of that then how much do you actually love them? How can you fully say that you love them because you truly are or because of red string?"
"Oh."
"I am sorry, this is too much huh?"
Mumei quickly shook her head, "No, it is not. I mean- I kind of see your point."
"Maybe it was a good thing that I couldn't see my strings like you Mumei. Because if I can then I will start doubting everything in my life at this point. But," Kronii took Mumei's right hand off from her waist before intertwining their pinky finger, "I still wish to see ours because I like our string and I am sorry that for a moment I made you doubt about it. About us being friends."
A great sense of relief washed over Mumei's heart.
Mumei smiled, "You owe me berries for that,"
Kronii laughed, "Okay, I will buy berries for you and only you."
Mumei let out a hum before looking down at their intertwined pinky finger and watching with great relief how the color change into a darker yellow.
XXX
Mumei knew it was happening even without looking at her hand.
The tingling feeling – that was so similar to the one she experiences years ago – on her right middle finger as she heard Baelz talk about how she accidentally hit their teacher with a ball is the biggest indicator after all. But it still didn't mean she does not find it fascinating because she is.
She watched with wide eyes as her yellow string slowly reached out towards Baelz finger before latched itself there. A smile formed on her face as she looked at the new firm bright yellow string.
Truth to be told, when Baelz first move to their school, Mumei was not sure that she will ever consider or even sees her as a friend.
Mumei, unlike Baelz, is an outcast after all.
Baelz – even though new in the school and town – quickly blended in and even claimed the spot as one of the popular kids in less than a week.
And truthfully, Mumei can understand why.
Baelz has bright fiery red hair, an easy smile that shows her friendliness, and a pair of bright blue eyes. She is chaotic yet nice and kind. She is smart, a good listener, gives great advice, and even has that natural-born charisma that makes her a good leader. She also has an upbeat personality that always makes the whole room filled with energy whenever she was there and not to mention she is also good at making and holding a conversation.
So really it was no wonder that everyone loves Baelz – while Mumei, well… she is lucky if people even know she exists. She believes that the only people who even know she is, are the teachers, parents, Kronii, and now Baelz.
Baelz is everything that Mumei is not.
But now, after spending time with Baelz, Mumei thinks that she and Baelz was not that different. They both like the same jokes, have the same taste in music and movies and against all the odds – Baelz actually likes her. She likes to spend her time with Mumei (and also Kronii when they had lunch together), just like how Mumei feels towards her and the string only solidified that fact.
"Mumei?" Baelz called when she noticed how Mumei had been staring at her for the past few minutes, "Did I have something on my face?"
"No, of course not." Mumei quickly denied it.
Baelz raised her eyebrows as if saying that she doesn't believe her. Thankfully Baelz decide not to push Mumei and started to talk again which made Mumei let out a sigh of relief.
She couldn't tell Baelz.
There is no way she can tell Baelz how happy she is seeing the string when Baelz didn't know anything about her ability to see strings.
The only person aside from her parents who knew about her ability is Kronii and even though Mumei wants nothing more but to run to Kronii as soon as the bell ring and tell her about the new string she has with Baelz, she knows that she also can't do it.
Ever since the talk she and Kronii had a few months ago. Mumei became much more wary and nervous to talk about those kinds of stuff to Kronii.
It was not like Kronii banned Mumei from ever talking about strings and all ever again, because she isn't, but it just Mumei can't stop but think that there is this one thin invisible line that it was not before that she can't cross.
It's silly, she knows but even so she just can't but think like that.
Letting out a small discreetly sighed, Mumei started clenching and unclenching her right hand, a habit that she picked on when looking for an alternative way to see or feel her strings without looking or touching it.
She could feel how the strings slightly tugged which made her smile.
It's okay, she is still connected with them.
XXX
"Can't believe that we are graduating tomorrow!" Baelz said with a small groan which makes Kronii and Mumei share a glance.
"Why? You don't want to graduate?" Kronii asked.
"Don't be silly, of course, I want to." Baelz huffed, "It's just after middle school, I don't know if I am ready for high school. My big sis said that high school is like a whole new level."
Mumei looked down with a frown, if even someone like Baelz is not ready then she definitely isn't either.
"You'll be fine," Kronii said and Mumei felt a small tap on her shoulder. She looked up just to see Kronii looking at her with a small reassuring smile as she softly said, "We will be fine."
Mumei replied with a small almost shaky smile.
Because she is not sure that she will be but she trusts Kronii and Kronii says that they will be fine.
"Yeah, we will be." Mumei finally answered.
"Let's go together on our first day in high school."
"Okay."
"I sure do hope that also included me, Kronii," Baelz said, she was frowning while her arms are folded. However, her eyes show nothing but amusement which makes Mumei knows that she is not angry at the idea of probably being left out.
Kronii must also see that because she laughed, "Sure Bae, let's walk together. Let us face the dread of high school together."
XXX
Looking at the paper in her hands – which is supposed to tell her where her class is – Mumei decides that high school is bad.
She barely can understand the paper and there is no one who she can ask for help. She was too shy to go and talk to anyone and Kronii and Baelz were already in their respective class and while they did offer to accompany and help her find hers, she adamantly refuses the offers as she feel bad if they are late, especially on their first day.
Letting out a small groan, Mumei considers skipping her class when a soft voice called her out.
"Are you lost?"
Startled, Mumei let out a small squeak before quickly turning around – eyes wide in shock.
"I am sorry, did I surprise you?" the owner of the voice – a girl asked with a small apologetic smile on her face. She has pastel green hair and a pair of soft yet startling yellow eyes. She wears simple yet cute clothes and somehow, she alluding this calm soft aura that makes Mumei feel at ease.
"No, it's okay." Mumei quickly answered before adding, "And yes, I am lost. Can you help me?"
The girl let out a small giggle, "Sure. May I see it?" she asked, pointing at the offending paper. Mumei didn't even hesitate to shove it at the girl.
The girl takes a look at it, eyes scanning before smiling.
"I can show you where your class is."
"Oh thank you, you are an angel!" Mumei said – almost shouted happily.
"I won't go that far," the girl said with a small chuckle before guiding Mumei through the hallway. "I am Fauna, by the way. Ceres Fauna."
"Nanashi Mumei."
Fauna smiled, "Nice to meet you, Mumei."
XXX
"If there is one thing that I truly do not enjoy from high school, it's definitely will be-" Kronii paused dramatically as she scoped up one handful spoon of soup before pouring it right back to the tray, "the food." She said flatly which makes Mumei let out a laugh.
"It was not that bad," Mumei said and eat the soup.
Kronii wrinkled her nose in disgust, "Sometimes I don't know if your tastebud is damaged or not, Mumei."
"What are you guys talking about?" Baelz who choose to finally show up at their table asked.
"If Mumei tastebud is damaged or not," Kronii answered.
"I say that her tastebud is damaged."
"HEY!"
Baelz let out a chuckle, "Anyways, I want you guys to meet Sana and Fauna! We share the same class before and I hope you guys don't mind them joining us?"
At the sound of a familiar name, Mumei perked up. She looked at the two girls who were standing behind Baelz and sure enough, her eyes met with a pair of the familiar soft yellow ones. Fauna's eyes widened a bit in recognition before she settled with one soft reassuring smile.
"Oh hi, Fauna!" Mumei greeted happily.
"Hi, Mumei."
Kronii turned to look at her, "You know them?"
Mumei shook her head, "No, I only know Fauna. She helps me this morning when I got lost."
"You got lost?"
"I'm fine!" Mumei answered before turning to the girl who was standing beside Fauna.
The first thing that Mumei notice about the girl is that she is tall. Taller than Kronii. The second thing she notices is that she has a nice warm smile along with eyes that shows nothing but pure excitement. She also has soft chocolate milk skin and long straight cream color hair tied into low pigtails.
"Hello, there. I'm Sana." The girl said when she notices that Mumei looked at her.
"Hello," Mumei greeted, "I'm Mumei and this is Kronii."
"Nice to meet you," Kronii said.
"Nice to meet you too." Sana answered at the same time as Fauna saying, "A pleasure."
"Please do join us," Mumei said before she scoots over – pulling Kronii along so they can make room for the others.
They all quickly take a seat and after a few minutes of awkward conversation, they somehow found the right dynamic, and soon the once awkward atmosphere changed into a more friendly one. Mumei hopes that this is the first step for them all to be friends.
XXX
"Mumei, really? Have you ever heard the phrase of, use your phone?" Kronii asked, eyes glaring at Mumei who was about to throw yet another pebble stone towards Kronii's bedroom window.
Mumei beamed at Kronii, "I forget my phone!"
Kronii let out a sigh, "Of course you do," she said in resignation which Mumei thinks is fair because, after years of being together with Mumei, Kronii is the main victim of Mumei's forgetfulness. At one point she even started to pack an extra pencil case for Mumei to borrow.
"And what so important that makes you have to come here in the middle of the night?" Kronii asked and even though her choice of words and tones can be easily misinterpreted, Mumei can see from the way Kronii looked at her that she is worried.
"I had an idea."
"It can't wait for tomorrow?"
Mumei shook her head.
"Mumei," Kronii started, using the tone of voice that she usually uses when she is about to scold Mumei, "It's already late."
"It's only 8 PM."
"Mumei-"
"Please Kronii," Mumei pleaded.
Kronii gave Mumei one last glare before finally shaking her head with a sigh and pointing at Mumei.
"Stay."
Mumei laughed, "I will!" she said happily and give Kronii a salute.
"I hate you," Kronii grumbled as she walked back to her room.
"No, you don't!" Mumei called out with a chuckled.
It doesn't take too long for Kronii to get ready – probably around 5 or 10 minutes before she joined Mumei in her yard. Her deep blue eyes flash as she walked toward Mumei.
"This better be worth it,"
"It is!" Mumei said happily before she took Kronii's hand and pull her along, making the other girl let out another sound of protest.
"Where are we going?" Kronii asked.
"Park!" Mumei answered happily, "Come on!"
Kronii sighed but picked up her paces and soon Mumei found they walk hand in hand instead of her pulling Kronii.
Beaming happily, Mumei tightened her hold.
When they arrived at the park, Mumei quickly drag Kronii to the blanket that she's laid down on the ground earlier before laying down on it. She pats the empty spot beside her and Kronii silently sat down.
"Come on Kronii, lay down!" Mumei said, slightly tugging Kronii's shirt until she finally relented.
"What next?" Kronii asked eyes looking straightly at Mumei.
Mumei smiled, "We watch stars."
"That is your big idea?"
"Yes," Mumei said before turning her attention away toward the night sky.
"We can barely see them," Kronii pointed out.
"It's still beautiful," Mumei said because yes, even though they can barely see the stars, only a few spots here and there – it's still beautiful.
They stay in silence for a while, watching stars in the sky before Mumei finally decides to break it.
"Today is the mark of our first week as a high schooler," Mumei softly said, drawing attention from Kronii. "At first, I don't know if I can fit in or if I ever am ready. But yet here I am, surviving the first week and even having some new friends!" Mumei clenched her hand, feeling the slight tugs from strings. A few days earlier, she get two new strings one from Sana which is tied at the same spot as Baelz's while the other from Fauna which is tied on her right-hand ring finger. It truly makes her feel happy that she knows both of them think of her as a friend.
"I told you that it will be okay," Kronii softly said.
"Yes, you did." Mumei turn her face away and was greeted by a pair of warm deep blue eyes – looking straight at her.
Mumei always loves Kronii's eyes. It was so deep like there are so many stories and secrets that need to be found and yet so clear and expressive.
"Thank you," Mumei softly whispered, suddenly feeling shy – she doesn't know though if it is from the talk she did or from the way Kronii looked at her.
Kronii's eyes twinkle while the corner of her mouth lifts up – forming a small smile that suddenly reminds Mumei of the10 years old Kronii. They are both Kronii – similar and yet different.
Mumei's 10 years old Kronii has baby fats that make her look pretty and innocent and a pair of deep blue eyes that twinkle with intelligence and curiosity. She has the same height as Mumei and has a slightly higher voice.
While Mumei's 15 years old Kronii – the one that she is looking at right now has a sharper feature. She lost all her baby fat, making her look less innocent and yet more beautiful. Her eyes still twinkle with intelligence and curiosity but now it is also more guarded. Her voice is deeper and her height, gosh, she passed Mumei's height long ago, and now Mumei had to slightly look up when they talk.
"You are welcome," Kronii whispered back before adding with a teasing voice, "I still hate you for dragging me into this."
"No, you don't."
Kronii smiled, "No, I don't" she agreed easily before turning her attention back to the night sky and Mumei did the same.
Looking at the sky as she laid beside Kronii brought tranquility to Mumei's heart. It makes her feel like she can face everything.
But of course, life likes to show her that she is wrong because what greets Mumei when she wakes up from her sleep after spending her whole night with Kronii in the park is not a dark yellow string that she used to see on her pinky finger.
It is a dark red string.
XXX
"No…" is the first thing that Mumei whispered but in her ears, it almost sounds like a yell. Mumei let out a shuddered breath. Her hands shaking – or maybe it is her whole body – as she looked at the dark red string.
"Please no," she begged before softly reaching and touching the string.
It feels so gentle and so warm like it is meant to be there – like it is meant to be for her to fall in love with her best friend.
Like it hasn't ruined her life forever.
Clenching it tightly, Mumei was tempted to pull it hard. Hoping that by doing so it will turn back to the color is meant to be.
There is no way she is in love with Kronii.
No.
It can't be.
Kronii is her best friend, the one who is always there for her. The first person Mumei runs to when she feels happy, sad, anxious, anger – she is the person who knows Mumei the best and never fails to make her feel safe. She is… she is Mumei's everything and she can't lose Kronii.
She just can't.
And this red string, oh gosh if Kronii knew about this red string-
Mumei's vision started to blur out. Biting her lips, she quickly blinked her tears away.
No, she will do everything to make sure that Kronii will never find out about her string. She needs to do something fast to turn her string color back to yellow.
Clenching her fist, she thinks back to all books that Kronii once explain to her. Searching for any clue in her memories to turn her string back but when she couldn't think of anything, Mumei let out a stifled groan and throw her pillow. It hits her bookcase, sending a few books falling to the floor with a loud noise.
"Mumei?" her mom called, voice latched with concern. "Are you okay?"
"I-" Mumei cleared her throat while she wipes her tears away. "I'm okay." She managed to say. "I-I just accidentally knock off some of my stuff."
"That's why I told you to clean your table!" this time it was her dad who shouted in a light-hearted scolding before adding, "Get ready soon or you will be late!"
It takes longer than usual for Mumei to get ready. Every time she saw her string, it feels like someone clenched her heart tightly – making it hard for her to breathe and tears started to form in her eyes and it took her a few minutes to regain her composure.
When she finally walked out of her room, she makes sure that she doesn't linger too long to worry her parents. Instead, she just gave her mom and dad a quick peck on their cheeks and ran out. The moment she steps out of her home, however, she wishes she isn't because Kronii was there – waiting for her.
Mumei's breath hitched and she could feel all the pain and sadness came rushing to her. Especially when she saw the string – the stupid idiot string – on Kronii's pinky finger.
"Morning Mumei," Kronii said, she was about to smile but when she saw Mumei's face, it vanished and in a blink of an eye, she already standing in front of Mumei.
"What's wrong?" Kronii asked. Her voice was so gentle and before Mumei can stop it, tears after tears fall from her eyes.
Kronii quickly pull her into a hug and Mumei buried her face in Kronii's shoulder while her hands grab Kronii's shirt tightly.
"Mumei, what happens?" Kronii asked.
Mumei shook her head.
She can't tell Kronii.
There is no way she can tell Kronii.
"I-It just," Mumei said between her choked sobs, "I-I had a bad dream. A really bad dream."
"It's okay," Kronii said softly, "It's over now."
Mumei let out a small bitter chuckle thinking of how wrong that statement is because it is not over. In fact, it just started and Mumei doesn't know how to end it.
XXX
Mumei decides to avoid Kronii.
It was the only way she could think of to return the string to the color it was supposed to.
She started slowly at first, telling Kronii that her dad insists to take her to the school and then stay as late as she can in class so she won't need to walk back from school together with Kronii. She still sits beside Kronii at the lunch table, however, she tried to put distance between them – not too much to bring suspicion but enough.
After a week passed and nothing changed – the stupid string still as red as it ever is, as if mocking her, Mumei started to do some desperate measure.
She avoids Kronii at any cost. Every time she saw a glimpse of her, Mumei will turn around and run in any other direction that won't lead her to Kronii. She stopped spending lunch with her friends, and opted to stay at the corner in the library where people will barely see or notice her – it was not hard remembering people barely notice her. She also rejected all of her friends' invitations to hang out with them.
It doesn't take too long for her friends to realize that something is wrong.
Her phones start to flood with concerned messages from her friends – especially Kronii which she replied with the usual, "I'm fine." or "Sorry, busy."
It pains her and hurts her beyond anything she can imagine.
But it's okay.
It will be over soon.
As soon as her string color back to normal, everything will be back to normal.
She can bear the pain.
Or at least that is what she thought until she makes a mistake.
She makes a mistake when she accidentally met Kronii's eyes in the middle of the hallway as they both walked to their next class. At that moment, she can see swirling emotions inside them. The confusion, anxiety, pain and hurt.
Mumei swallowed the sudden lump in her throat, eyes stinging with tears. It hurt her so much to see that look on Kronii's face, especially because it was her who put it there.
Kronii opened her mouth, but before she can utter any word, Mumei turned and run away.
She runs and runs until her lungs and feet hurt but she doesn't stop. Not until she ran to the empty class. Only then did she let herself collapse on the floor.
"Mumei," a voice called from her behind.
Mumei's breath hitched. Turning around, she saw Kronii standing right behind her. Her face flushed with beads of sweat. She definitely runs after Mumei.
And it hurt Mumei so much but, it also feels so good to have Kronii around her again.
"Mumei, what's wrong?" Kronii asked. She sounds so gentle and warm that it takes everything in Mumei to stop herself from leaping and hugging Kronii as tightly as she can.
"Nothing is wrong," Mumei forced herself to say as she stood up.
"You are crying."
Mumei shook her head, "I'm not."
Kronii looked as if she doesn't believe her and really who can blame her when even Mumei can feel her face wet with tears. Thankfully, Kronii didn't push it – instead, she took a step closer to Mumei but stop when she saw Mumei flinched.
Kronii took a deep breath, "Did I do something wrong?"
"No. I'm just- busy."
"Don't lie to me, Mumei."
"I am not."
Kronii opened her mouth but closed it again. Her eyebrows scrunched in frustration while her eyes searched for Mumei's but Mumei avoided it, knowing that if she stares at her eyes all of her resolves will be melt away.
"I am not stupid Mumei, I know – heck everyone knows that you are avoiding me." She softly said – so soft that it was almost like a whisper.
Mumei bites her lips, "I am not," she tried to say but it was weak – so weak that even she doesn't believe what she just said.
"Tell me," Kronii demanded, "Please tell me what happened. Why did you avoid me? Why-"
"It has nothing to do with you!"
Kronii's eyes flashed in anger, "Oh really? If that's the truth then why do you always run every time you see my face? Why you can't even look at me in the eyes?"
"Kronii please," Mumei started, "Can you please just let this go? I-" Mumei swallowed the lump in her throat, "It- It will be over soon."
"What will?"
"This," Mumei said flailing her arms helplessly, "Whatever this situation is, it will be over soon. If you just wait-"
"For how long?"
Mumei frowned, "I don't know."
That makes Kronii scoff, "You don't even know."
"Kronii-"
"Mumei," Kronii interrupted, "Can't you just-" she let out a shaky breath, "Can't you just tell me?"
"I- I can't." Mumei shook her head.
"Why?" Kronii asked voice filled with pain and sadness that it hurt Mumei just from hearing it. "It's- It's me. It's just me."
Mumei closed her eyes, how can she make Kronii understand that exactly because it is her that Mumei can't even say anything.
"Is this- Is this about string?"
Mumei's eyes flew open. She looked at Kronii with wide eyes as fear starts to engulf her whole body – clenching tightly especially on her heart, making it hard to breathe.
Kronii gave one painful smile, "It is, isn't it?"
"No!" Mumei quickly denied.
"Then what is this about?!" Kronii shouted, she sounds and look so frustrated but at the same time in pain, "I do realize you know? I do realize that ever since that day, when I told you about my dad you hardly talk – no, you never talk about the string to me anymore! And I know I am not supposed to get angry with you about it because I literally push you into that situation and I didn't even try to make it better because-" Kronii looked away, "I- Somewhere inside me feels glad that we never talk about it anymore."
Mumei knows it and yet it still pains her to hear it.
Briefly, she wonders how much pain her heart can take.
Kronii took a deep breath, "I know that I am wrong, and I regret it. But I just couldn't find the right time to apologize to you." Clenching her hands, Kronii looked back at Mumei, "And this- whatever this is that makes you avoid me, I want us to talk about it Mumei. Just like back then when I avoid you, we had that talk-"
"It's not that easy."
"If you just try-"
"No Kronii, you don't understand."
"Then make me," Kronii pleaded, "Make me understand."
How can she make Kronii understand?
How can she make Kronii see that she – that Mumei fall in love with her best friend and it was real?
She doesn't know precisely when she fell in love with Kronii. It just happened so naturally that even it takes her weeks of denial and only now as she looked at Kronii she came to terms that she is in love with her.
But how can she tell Kronii that when she already makes clear about her standing on the red string?
A shackle, she said.
No real feeling, she implied.
And it will kill Mumei if Kronii told her that her feeling is just an illusion created by the string.
Because it is not, it really is not it just helps her to realize her feelings that she's been ignored for years.
Mumei shook her head, "You will never understand."
They fell into a tense silence and the longer it dragged, the harder Mumei found herself to breathe. Their eyes locked on each other and it was Kronii who break first.
"I see," she softly said, voice thick with emotions as she turned and walk away.
Mumei choked, "Kronii-"
But Kronii didn't spare a glance, she keeps walking – leaving Mumei staring at her back and when she was gone, Mumei found herself once again collapsed on the floor. But this time, instead of a silent cry, she let out a hoarse scream as she wailed. Clutching at her chest – where her heart is, Mumei digs her nails as deep as she can. She could feel her heart break into pieces – or maybe it was not there anymore as it was gone along with Kronii.
She cries and cries until no more tears fell. But even then, she buried her face into her hands and let out choked sobs. She doesn't even realize someone came inside the room until she was pulled into a warm hug. A smell of fresh flowers invaded her sense and a soft voice, filled with compassion murmured, "Oh Mumei…"
Mumei tightly clutched on Fauna's shirt, "I-I didn't tell her-" she let out another choked sob, "I didn't tell her b-because I don't want to lose her, but-" burying her face on Fauna's shoulder, she softly muttered, "I still do. I still lost her.
It takes around one hour for Mumei to recollect herself and all that time Fauna didn't say anything, opted to just stay beside Mumei and gave her silent support.
Letting out a shuddered breath, Mumei turned to look at Fauna, "Th-Thank you," she whispered.
Fauna smiled. She takes Mumei's hands, gave them a small squeeze, and softly said, "Want to talk about it?"
Mumei shook her head, "I-I'm sorry. I-I don't think that I-"
Fauna nodded in understatement, "Okay, it's okay Mumei. Take your time. I'll be here when you are ready to talk."
XXX
There is an old quote that says time will heal everything. Mumei begs the differ. It's been two months since her fight with Kronii and the pain in her heart still has not healed.
After the fight, Kronii started to also avoid Mumei. She barely can see Kronii anymore and every time they accidentally met in the hallway, Kronii will either blatantly ignore her as if she is not there or just turned around and walk away.
Mumei knows that she deserves that but it still pains her.
Their other friends try their best to reconcile them, but they can only do so much when both she and Kronii keep silent about the fight.
Everything is so complicated and so confusing that Mumei wishes she can turn back time to go back to where her biggest concern is people judging her drawing.
"What are you thinking about?" a soft voice pulled Mumei out from her deep thinking.
"That I wish I can turn back time," Mumei answered, her eyes fixated on the stupid string that even after making her life into hell, still stubbornly stays red.
Ever since that day when Fauna found Mumei crying, she makes sure to spend all of her free time with Mumei which makes Mumei truly grateful but also guilty because by doing so, Fauna also pulled herself away from the others.
Mumei once told Fauna about her concern but Fauna just let out a small soft laugh before dismissing her concern entirely.
"They understand," Fauna told her back then, "You both need all support we can provide."
It warms Mumei's heart when she heard that.
She is so thankful for being blessed with friends like hers.
Fauna hummed in response while she transfers some of her food to Mumei's tray.
"Fauna-" Mumei started to complain.
"Eat, Mumei. You look so weak that even a small breeze of wind can blow you away."
Mumei let out a sigh, she doesn't need another reminder from Fauna that she looks bad when she already knows that. She barely eats and sleeps these days which of course affects her looks. She gets thinner and seems like there are permanent eye bags on her face.
"I am not hungry," Mumei grumbled.
"You said that every time and yet you finish the food," Fauna teased.
Mumei looked at her with a pout which makes Fauna let out a small chuckle. She was about to say something back to Fauna when her eyes accidentally met with Kronii's.
Kronii was sitting a few tables away from her and Fauna but even so, Mumei can still feel the intensity of her gaze. Her eyes swirled in emotions that remind Mumei of the night sky while her eyebrows scrunched together.
She looks angry.
Mumei tried to think what makes Kronii looks like that but before she can form any idea, Kronii already looks away at Baelz who – Mumei guess – is in the middle of telling some random story like she always did.
"Sometimes I feel like I need to worry about my life."
Mumei quickly looks at Fauna, "What? Why?"
Fauna smiled and then shrugged, "Just a thought."
XXX
Mumei can't believe her luck.
From all day her brain can pick to be forgetful, it chooses today.
The day where she had a surprise test.
Mumei bites her lips before she rummages her bag for the nth time today and like before, her pencil case doesn't magically show up. She supposes she can go and ask someone in her class for a pencil but doubt that they will lend it to her and even if they did, she still needs other stuff like an eraser and ruler.
Another option for her is to ask Fauna, Baelz, or Sana but she doesn't know exactly where their class is and even if she did, she doubts she can run there and come back in time. Her teacher is really strict.
Maybe she can ask one of her classmates for a pencil, then another for a ruler, and another for an eraser. Or maybe she can just tell the teacher and ask for help.
A knock on her desk alarmed Mumei and she quickly looked up.
A girl was standing in front of her table. She had messy long maroon color hair with mismatched eyes – blue and purple. She had a friendly easy smile on her face as she looked at Mumei and quickly Mumei feel relaxed. It was one of her classmates, IRyS.
"Oh, hi. Can I help you?" Mumei asked.
IRyS shook her head, "Someone asks me to give you this," she said before offering a blue pencil case that has an owl picture on it.
Mumei's eyes widened. Her hands trembled as she took it from IRyS' hand.
She knows this pencil case so well.
It was the pencil case that Kronii always brings in case Mumei forgets hers.
"I-" Mumei gulped, eyes clouded with tears and she quickly blink them away.
Kronii must saw Mumei's panicked face when she passed her class or maybe she saw Mumei throw out all of her stuff from the locker in favor to search for her pencil case. She probably connected the dot (like she always did) and decide to help Mumei.
"T-Thank you." Mumei finally said, voice only barely above a whisper.
IRyS, oblivious to the turmoil Mumei feel just gave another smile, "No problem," she said before she walked away.
Clenching the pencil case in her hand, Mumei closed her eyes. A small spark of hope came into her heart.
Kronii still cares about her.
XXX
"There you are," she heard Fauna's voice call out, "I am looking for you. Why are you skipping lunch?"
Mumei didn't say anything. Her gaze stays locked with her strings – or more precisely the offending red string. After what happened in the class Mumei couldn't think straight, her mind was clouded with so much of emotions.
Hoping that she can sort out her emotions, she ran to the nearest empty classroom she can find and stayed there – spending her time watching her strings.
Fauna took a seat beside Mumei. She let out a small hum before softly saying, "Strings are complicated things. It's appeared when you formed a connection with someone and as that connection becomes deeper or distant, it will also change."
Mumei's eyes widened. She quickly turned to look at Fauna.
"Wha- How?"
"I can see strings, Mumei." Fauna admitted, "Not just mine but I can see everyone's string. That is why I know that ever since your string to Kronii changed, you start to avoid her. I didn't say anything at first because I don't want to push you and I was hoping that you will come and tell me but-" Fauna smiled, "But instead you keep pushing yourself away."
Mumei turned away.
"Want to tell me what happens? I promise I won't judge. All I want to do is to understand and maybe offered some help if I can."
"I-" Mumei bites her lips, her mind was sent into turmoil – debating on whether or not she wants to confide in Fauna. A part of her rejected the idea but another part of her wanted to do it. It takes a few minutes of debating before finally the part that wants to confide wins. Taking a deep breath, Mumei finally said, "D-Do you know how to change the string color back?"
A flash of understatement shows in Fauna's eyes.
"Do you want to change the color back, Mumei?"
Mumei nodded.
"Why?"
"It just-" Mumei pulled her hands away from Fauna so she can glare at her string, "This red string- they are not-" Mumei shook her head, "Just- please tell me if there is anything I can do."
Fauna gave a small apologetic smile, "I'm sorry. I've seen many strings change color from one to another but I have never seen red one change. Once it was there, it will stay."
Mumei looked alarmed.
"N-No, no, no!" she gripped on Fauna, "Y-You are lying. Please tell me you are lying… I am begging you…" her eyes clouded with tears, "Please…" she pleaded.
"Oh Mumei, please don't cry," Fauna softly whispered, eyebrows scrunched in worries as she reached out and wipe a lone tear that escape from Mumei's eye.
Mumei shook her head, "Y-You don't understand, this- this red string… it needs to go. It can't stay here. My connection with Kronii-" Mumei bites her lips, "Our relationship can't-"
"Mumei," gently Fauna prompted, "There is something you need to know about red string. Red string symbolizes soulmate, but it doesn't mean you have to be in love with them."
"Wh-what do you mean?"
"People tend to romanticize the idea of red string and soulmate, but having a soulmate doesn't mean that you have to be with them romantically. Sure, falling in love with your soulmate is easy because a soulmate is someone who will understand you the best however it doesn't mean you have to. A soulmate can be platonic as well," Fauna said, "I have seen many people lead a happy life full of love with someone who is not their soulmate. If you don't love Kronii, it's okay. You don't have to be scared."
Mumei let out a small chuckle that sounds so weak and broken which makes her wish she never did, "I am scared," she admitted, "B-But it is not from that…"
Fauna didn't say anything, only looking at Mumei as if she was trying to solve some complicated riddle before finally saying, "You love her," she said it so matter of fact that makes Mumei's breath hitched, "You love her and you are scared that she will deny your feelings."
"…Yes," Mumei closed her eyes, there is one thing for her to finally admit her feelings to herself, but to actually confirmed it towards someone else, it just feels so raw and also relieving.
"Because of red string?"
Mumei nodded, "Th-there is something happen before and now she- she hates, no maybe even despise red string," Mumei weakly smiled, "A-and if she knows that I had a red string for her- if she knows that, she will-" Mumei shook her head, "I-I don't even want to know what she will think or do, Fauna."
"She cares for you," Fauna softly reminds her.
"Will she still though?" Mumei asked before she look at her string and tugged it, "If sh-she knows about this string- will she still cares for me or will she th-thinks that she did b-because of this illusion."
Fauna frowned, "Do you really think Kronii will think like that?"
"I-I don't know," Mumei softly whispered, burying her face in her hands, "A-And that is why I am so scared, I am scared that she will think like that. I am scared that w-when I told her about my feelings, she will think that I am just b-being delusional when I am not. This feeling- it's so real and it hurt me so much, Fauna."
"Then tell her that, Mumei. Make her see what you truly think and feel."
Mumei shook her head, "I-I can't and besides, it's too late. She already-" Mumei choked on her own tears, "I hurt her, Fauna… I- I hurt her so much."
Fauna pulled her into a hug and Mumei found herself crying herself out on Fauna's shoulder.
Fauna softly whispered, "It's never too late, Mumei."
XXX
Mumei took a deep breath and before she can talk herself out of it, she walked toward the lunch table Kronii, Baelz, and Sana is.
Baelz the first one who noticed her, she was in the middle of telling something about cheese and explosion but when she saw Mumei walk toward them – her eyes went wide with surprise before they flashed with happiness as if saying finally and grin at Mumei.
Mumei tried to reply with her grin back before focusing her eyes on the back of Kronii's head, "Kronii," she softly called out.
She can see Kronii visibly stiffened up before turning around. Their eyes met and Mumei wants nothing more but to spend her day looking at those eyes. Up close, Mumei realizes that Kronii looks more tired than she usually is, she has eye bags and there is a hint of sadness around her. But she still looks beautiful – maybe even more beautiful than how Mumei remembers she is.
"I-" Mumei shifted from one foot to another before she finally offered the pencil case in her hand, "Thank you for this. Yesterday you safe me," Mumei finally said.
Kronii eyes shifted away from Mumei's face to the pencil case in her hand. Slowly she reached out and took it. Her fingers softly brushed Mumei's hand.
"You are welcome," Kronii replied and Mumei couldn't help but think that it's been so long since the last time she hears her voice when before she never spends a day without hearing it.
She really misses Kronii.
Kronii opened her mouth as if she wants to say something else but in the end, she shook her head and looked away. Mumei smiled bitterly – not like she can say anything about it, she is the one who break their relationship like this in the first place.
"Want to join us?" Baelz offered.
Mumei looked at Baelz then shook her head, "It's okay," she said, "The lunch is almost over and my next class is starting soon."
Baelz looked disappointed but didn't say anything just nodded while Sana gave her an understanding smile.
"See you guys," Mumei said, waving her hand. She was about to turn and walk away to where Fauna was waiting for her when Kronii suddenly grabbed her hand.
"Mumei," Kronii said, "Let's talk."
"N-Now?" Mumei nervously asked.
Kronii shook her head, "Not now, later. After school?"
"I-" Mumei hesitate.
"Stop running away from me," Kronii said while her eyes looked at Mumei pleadingly making it hard for Mumei to say no.
"After school," Mumei said, nodding her head.
"Okay," Kronii replied, her voice trembling a bit and slowly she let Mumei's hand go, "After school."
XXX
"Tell her," Fauna said as soon as Mumei get back and told her about what just happened.
"I don't know if I am ready," Mumei said softly. Her eyes locked into the red string as she softly tugged it.
Fauna smiled, "You will never be ready, Mumei. But that doesn't mean that you can't face it."
"But what if she-" Mumei closed her eyes, "What if she hates me?"
"She doesn't hate you," Fauna said, grabbing Mumei's hand and giving it a soft squeeze, "She wants to talk. She wants to try to understand. If she hates you, she won't do that."
"But-"
"She wants to fight," Fauna said before softly asking, "What about you?"
And suddenly Mumei found herself back into her 12-year-old self where she was sitting in the dining room with her mom stroking her hair softly.
"I want to fight." She remembers she said it with a voice filled with determination.
Mumei turned to Fauna, "I am afraid that I am too late."
Fauna shook her head, "I told you before, didn't I?" a small smile latched on her face, "It's never too late."
XXX
Mumei was jittery the whole time, she couldn't even count how many times teachers called her out. One even threatened to throw her out of the class. Not that any of that matters. She was too nervous to even care.
As soon as the last bell rang, Mumei quickly shoved all of her things in her bag – she doesn't care what a mess she made her bag is before running out of her class. However, as soon as she took a step out of her class, she was greeted with a view of Kronii leaning her back on the wall, arms folding while her eyes strained to her face.
"Oh," Mumei softly said.
"I hope you don't think about running?" Kronii asked.
"No," Mumei shook her head. "I was about to go to your class."
Kronii nodded before pushing herself away from the wall. She gave Mumei a smile that was not reaching her eyes, "Shall we?"
"Okay."
They walked in silence, both deep into their thoughts. Mumei barely even realize that they are leaving the school ground until they reach the park where they spend their night watching stars together. The last night before everything went downhill.
There are not many people there only three kids, playing in the sandbox. Kronii silently guided them to the park bench. They sit in silence, side by side – not too close and yet not too far.
"I-" Kronii began, but Mumei quickly blurted out.
"I'm sorry!"
Kronii looked at Mumei, surprised is evidence on her face.
"I'm sorry for pushing you away, I'm sorry that I hurt you, I-" Mumei looked down at her clasped hands before softly whispering, "I miss you."
There is a tense silence for a few seconds before finally, Kronii whispered back, "I miss you too," Mumei let out the breath she's been unconsciously holding, "and I am sorry as well for pushing you when you are not ready."
Mumei let out a small chuckle, "I will never be ready, Kronii."
Kronii gave Mumei a small smile, "I'm also sorry for putting you in a position where you can't talk about your strings."
"Kronii-"
"Please, let me say what I want to say first," Kronii said, waiting until Mumei nodded her head before talking again, "I got angry at you because you said I won't understand. I feel like you are being not fair to me when you didn't even try. That's why I also start avoiding you. But then as time passed by I realized that-" Kronii sighed, "It was me who was not being fair to you."
"I know how much strings meant to you. You always have this spark when you talk about them and always look at yours when you had time but ever since what happened to my dad, you stop talking about them altogether. You didn't even spare them any glance when I am around you. You did all of that for me and I pretend not to notice that, I pretend everything is okay," Kronii run her fingers through her hair then let out a small chuckle, "I am the one who let you build a wall and yet I had the nerve to get angry at you."
Kronii turned to look at Mumei, she was smiling but it looks so heart wrenching that before Mumei realizes it, she already holding Kronii's hands and giving them a light squeeze.
"I am such a selfish person,"
"No, you are not."
Kronii chuckled, "Mumei, I am selfish. I feel glad when you didn't tell me because I only think of my feelings, I never even consider yours. I said that I never find a chance to apologize but in truth, there are so many times I can tell you but I choose not to. See? I am selfish."
Mumei shook her head, "You are not. You are just trying to protect your feelings; it was not selfish. It just makes you a human."
"I protect mine but sacrifice yours, Mumei."
"I did the same, Kronii." Mumei softly said, "I did the same," she let out a small sigh before looking at her hands that somehow find it's way and intertwined with Kronii's, "I refuse to tell you because I- I was afraid," she softly admitted, "I told myself again and again that I did all those things because I don't want to hurt you. Because I don't want to lose you. But in truth, it's because I want to protect myself."
Mumei turns her hand so she can see her strings clearly, "You are right, the reason I didn't tell you is because this is about strings. I-" Mumei took a deep breath. She was afraid - so afraid. Her heart beating so fast and loudly that makes even her ears ring. She wants nothing but to run away from this situation she is in right now but at the same time, she knows that she needs to tell Kronii this.
For Kronii and herself.
"I had red string, Kronii."
Mumei can feel Kronii stiffen but she doesn't stop. She can't because once she stops, she will never find the courage to say anything again.
"And when I see it-" Mumei bites her lips, "I just get so scared. It feels like I was in a nightmare and the worst part is that I can't wake up from it."
"Is it-" Kronii hesitated before finally letting the word out, "Fauna?"
Mumei blinked, "What?"
"It's not Fauna?"
"No, why would you think that?"
"Oh, I thought-" Kronii shook her head, "Never mind. Who is it for then?"
Mumei gave Kronii a shaky smile as she whispered, "Who do you think it is, Kronii?"
Mumei watched the way Kronii's eyebrows scrunched together in deep thought before slowly but surely a realization came to her. Her eyes went wide while her mouth formed an 'o' shape. She gave Mumei a look between shock and disbelief and she looks pale but at least she didn't pull her hands away from Mumei.
Mumei let out a small broken chuckle as she looked down, "I-I was so scared- so drowned with my thoughts that I decide to run away. I thought- I thought that if I run away if I avoid you this feeling will also go away. The string will go back to the color it once was. But instead, it stays there, it's like mocking me and I can't do anything else but to keep running away."
Taking a deep breath, Mumei continues, "When you confront me, I- I refuse to tell you because I am scared that you will start doubting my feelings for you. I am scared that you will deny it. I am scared that you will think-" Mumei blinked her tears away. She hates how she become such a cry baby. "You will think that everything happens between us, our relationships are nothing but an illusion from the red string."
Mumei steal a glance at Kronii and she saw how her face hardened. Quickly, Mumei looked away. If she wants to say everything, she can't do it while looking at Kronii.
"I still do, Kronii. I am still scared of all that."
When Kronii talked her voice is hoarse and thick with emotions that Mumei couldn't help but flinched in guilt, "Y-you doubting me."
"I doubted everything, Kronii. Even myself and my feelings."
Another silence down upon them before softly Kronii asked, "Did you- did you like me?"
Mumei closed her eyes, "I love you, Kronii."
"Since when?"
"I don't know," Mumei answered, "Falling for you was so natural that I didn't even realize that I fall for you until-" Mumei swallowed, "Until I saw the red string. Wh-when I saw it I thought that it was impossible. There is no way I can fall in love with my best friend and I deny it with everything but then- then I see you and suddenly everything fits. I want to see you smile, I want to hear you laugh, I want to wipe all the tears and pain in you and I want- I want you to always be by my side." Mumei looked up. Her clouded brown eyes look straight at Kronii's deep blue eyes before she softly whispered, "I realize that I love you."
Mumei barely register in her mind how Kronii tightened her hold when she suddenly got pulled– rather roughly towards Kronii. She fell right into Kronii and before she can even let out any word of protest, Kronii leaned down and kiss her.
Mumei remembers how in the book they like to describe the first kiss as something sweet and how she wishes she will have her own sweet first kiss. But now that she gets it, she realizes the kisses in the book are a pale comparison with what she had.
The kiss was sloppy at first as they both was not experience but soon it gets better and it didn't take more than a few seconds before they both found their own rhythm. Kronii kiss her with everything she had as if wanting to tell Mumei how she truly feels. Mumei can sense the frustration, the desperation just from it but at the same time, she can also feel the longing and love Kronii had for her and it took everything from Mumei to stop herself from melting away.
When Kronii pulls away, they are both breathless, and Mumei is barely aware that they are still in the public park where everyone can see them. Shyly, Mumei buried her face into Kronii's shoulder.
"Wh-why you kiss me?" she softly murmured into Kronii's shoulder.
"Really?" Kronii asked, her voice disbelieved, "You truly don't know why?"
Mumei stays silent. Too shy and embarrassed to say anything.
"I want to get angry, Mumei," Kronii softly said, "I want to get angry because of how you doubting me but I can't because I deserve it. I am the one who told you how much I hate the red string and how I feel about it. However, I still can't believe that you think I will see our relationship as an illusion. We've been friends since we were kids and when we first know each other, there is no string between us. We become friends because we want to and nothing will take that away from us."
Kronii pushes Mumei slightly away so she can see her face.
"I'm not gonna lie to you Mumei, I still don't believe in the red string but I believe in us," Kronii softly said, "Red string or not, I believe that we belong to each other. After all, I've been in love with you for as long as I can remember."
Mumei can feel tears slowly fall from her eyes that Kronii easily wipes them away.
"I told you before, didn't I? I will always love our string."
"E-even if it's red?"
Kronii smiled, "It doesn't matter what color it has. The most important thing is that string connects us and I want you to know that you can talk about everything to me."
"Even strings?"
"Even strings," Kronii confirmed.
"What about what I eat at breakfast?"
Kronii let out a laugh, "Everything, even the smallest and most unimportant thing that you can think about. No more wall between us."
Mumei smiled, "Okay."
"Good, now that we agree on that, can I ask a favor?"
"Sure."
Kronii lifted her pinky finger before wiggling it, "Show me our string, Mumei."
Letting out a laugh, Mumei took Kronii's left hand before slowly guiding it to where their red string is. It shines brightly as if telling Mumei how glad it is finally to be recognized by its owner.
She let Kronii graze it before softly whispering, "Can you feel it?"
And Kronii smiled so bright and full of joy as she said, "I can."