Work Text:
Wille is heading towards the main exit of Hillerska when he realizes he forgot his textbook back in his last class on the upper floor. Contemplating the logistics of doing homework without it for a brief moment then deciding he can't, Wille groans to himself and turns back.
When he arrives back at the classroom, he freezes in the doorway. Simon is alone there, and Wille's heart clenches in his chest like it does nearly every time he lays eyes on his love. Lately, though, it's been in an anguished way instead of a thrilling one, and the fluttering in his stomach that accompanies it more nerve-wracking than enjoyable.
Simon is leaning back against a desk with his arms crossed. His phone is lying face down on another desk a few seats away. He seems upset, glaring at the wooden floor, but when he notices Wille watching him from the doorway, his expression eases, and he says, "Hey."
"Hey. I… I just came back because I forgot something." Wille enters the room, doing his best to hold on to his composure, and carefully asks, "Is something wrong?"
Simon doesn't respond for a moment, and Wille can tell he's debating with himself on whether or not to confide in Wille. Pretending to be busy by loping up to his desk and groping around for his textbook, he waits.
"It just…"
"What?" Wille turns to look, eyes searching Simon's face.
Normally, Simon wouldn't spill his guts like this to anyone, but Wille's eyes are so gentle and open, so earnest, that he caves.
"It just seems like nothing I ever do is enough for people." With an irritable flick of his hand, he sends a paper airplane someone left behind careening across the room. He gives Wille the side eye for a brief second. He isn't saying it outright, because he's too kind for that, but Wille picks up on what he's thinking and feels a wave of guilt anyway.
"I try and try, but it's like I'm never enough." Simon picks up a broken chunk of eraser next and flings it at the chalkboard, where it promptly bounces off and falls on the floor.
"Don't say that," Wille pleads in dispair. He couldn't stand to hear this selfless, caring boy he loved like no one else say such a thing. Moving closer but not too close to cross a line, Wille reaches both arms out and places his hands tentatively on Simon's shoulders, giving them a light squeeze. "You are enough. You were always enough. Anyone who takes you for granted is just an idiot." When Wille meets his eyes, Simon knows he means every word.
Simon thinks about everything he's seen Wille do lately: gripping Simon's hand and sitting with him in public, gazing at him with that tender look of adoration in full view of anyone who turned their way. Allowing himself to be seen with Simon everywhere. Confirming rumours about them in words that left no room for ambiguity.
Standing up to his mother. Standing up for him against August and the other bullies at Hillerska. Being there for him when he was feeling upset and betrayed over Micke and Sara. All while asking nothing in return, accepting that their breakup and the boundary he'd set meant he probably wouldn't do the same for Wille.
Making it clear that Simon was what he wanted, and that he was ready to fight for it.
Wille must see something in his eyes, because he takes it as assent to move even closer yet, and Simon doesn't stop him. Slowly, so Simon can still push him away if he wants to, he holds Simon's face in his hands, smoothing his thumbs along the cheekbones and touching their foreheads together. Simon responds immediately by reaching up with both hands to hold onto Wille's wrists.
"I'm sorry I was so selfish before," Wille whispers into the scant space left in between their lips. "It kills me that I hurt you so many times."
Simon takes a deep shaky breath. "Wille -"
Wille moves a thumb to press Simon's lips closed for a moment. Let me finish. "I just need you to know. I was so caught up inside my own head and my own problems that I never thought about how the things I did might affect you. Or what you needed from me. I was just so used to people's feelings being sacrificed for the sake of the crown - including my own - I did it without thinking. I thought it was what I had to do." Wille realizes that Simon probably knows all this, has intuited it with his incredible empathy, but it has to be acknowledged anyway.
"But I did care about you. I always have. So, even if you don't want to…To be with me anymore, will you forgive me?"
Wille breathes in deeply to steady his voice and swallows visibly. He hopes it isn't too obvious that his heart is in his throat right now and he's holding back tears, but he'd never been any good at hiding his feelings around Simon. There hadn't been a need to.
The need to say I love you, however, feels like a physical ache, one that Wille holds back. He won't pressure Simon with those words. He only wants to hear it from Simon if he really means it.
Instead, he feels it pulling every fibre of his body towards Simon, and thinks the words over and over, wondering if it could transmit itself through the point of contact where their foreheads pressed together, their bond, or Simon's empathy.
That he might be making it hard for Simon to answer freely and honestly when Wille is holding him like this and tenderly rubbing their noses together is a distant thought; he just can't help himself when Simon is right there in front of him, so warm and real, and it feels like so long since they've really touched each other. He's only human.
Wille watches Simon's lips as he opens and closes his mouth slightly a few times, searching for words.
Finally, he says, "I forgave you for it all, including the statement, a long time ago. When you came to talk to me outside my house."
Wille pulls back a bit, looks at him.
"That wasn't why I broke up with you. We just couldn't go on as we were."
Yes, I get that now. Wille waits for him to continue.
Simon runs his hands up and down Wille's forearms, then says, "But… things have changed now. You've changed. You've been so brave lately, and thoughtful." Simon pauses, seems to reach a decision. He looks up and bites his bottom lip in that way he does that drives Wille crazy. Wille wants to be the one doing that. "And who said I don't want to be with you anymore?"
Wille stares at him. Simon's eyes slip down to his mouth, and Wille's breath stalls in his chest. Should he dare to hope? "So does that mean -"
And then Simon has closed his eyes and pressed his lips against Wille's, surging forward through the minute space between them, and that's all the confirmation Wille needs; spreading Simon's lips open further with his, he responds instantly and fervently, intensifying the kiss, sliding his hands further back into Simon's curls. He's missed this, but so much more so, he's missed Simon, so much that it's felt like his chest has been hollowed out these past lonely weeks, and is only beginning to fill up to bursting again now.
The screech of table legs against the floor echoes through the room as Simon stumbles backwards into a desk. Wille can taste Simon's tongue, but he still can't get close enough. He clutches at Simon desperately, greedily, running his hands through Simon's hair and over his neck and around his waist to rub up and down his back. Simon's hands roam just as restlessly, smoothing over the back of Wille's neck and tugging at his hair and clothes.
Gasping, they pull apart after some indeterminable time, panting. Ever since their last goodbye before Wille gave his statement, Wille has felt a near constant need to kiss Simon like an ache, but it's abated a little, for now.
Simon's lips are so red and wet, Wille thinks. His own feel pleasurably bruised in answer. There's a flush high on Simon's cheeks that somehow shows up even through his tan skin, and his hair is so mussed, curls sticking up everywhere in random directions.
No, he takes it back. It's not enough. Wille just wants to dive back in and mess those curls up further. He wants to leave a mark on Simon that's as indelible as the one on his heart feels, and have one on himself that mirrors it.
Now that they've gotten all that out of their systems, though, they spend some time getting reacquainted more slowly, and it feels like learning each other for the first time all over again. Wille holds onto Simon's waist while Simon throws his arms around Wille's neck. They take pleasure in softer kisses in between words, smiling against each other's mouths.
"Wow. That was…" Wille laughs breathlessly and strokes Simon's jaw. "I missed you."
"Me too."
When they're both sufficiently calmed down, Wille says, "So. Does this mean that you want to…?" He fidgets, running a hand through his hair. "To…you know. Be with me. Officially this time. And openly." He looks Simon straight in the eye. He doesn't want to assume anything.
Simon laughs the fondest laugh Wille has ever heard. "Yes, Wille. I always wanted to. It just wasn't healthy for either of us before."
At the mention of before, Wille turns solemn again. He reaches up and cradles Simon's face in both hands. "I won't leave you alone anymore," he whispers.
"Good."
"It's going to be me and you against everyone."
"Wille, I said yes," Simon laughs. "That was what I wanted from the beginning."
"Okay." He's smiling as he comes back to earth and their surroundings, looking around at the slight disorder they've left behind. Both their bags are abandoned on the floor, Wille's textbook is lying open on the chair where he'd unconsciously dropped it, and two desks and a chair have been haphazardly pushed around. Thankfully, Simon's phone was still on top of the desk he had left it on. "Will you tell me what you were mad about earlier?"
"Yeah. But not right now." Simon's eyes roam Wille's face for a prolonged moment before landing on his lips.
Wille takes it as a cue to close the distance between them, which is suddenly unbearable again, once more. As they're pressing kisses against each other, Wille whispers, "Jag älskar dig," against his lips.
"Yes." Simon pauses, chewing his lip. He meets Wille's eyes and finally says, "I love you too."
Wille closes his eyes for a few seconds, savouring the words as they sink like sun-heated stones into his chest. He mouths the declaration silently against Simon's lips one more time, then pulls away and says, "Come with me back to my room? We don't have to… do anything. I just want to spend time with you."
"Okay." Simon's voice is soft and pleased. For once, him never giving up on someone has paid off.