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“Joel, why are we boys?” Crow asked.
“Yeah? What makes us boys and Gypsy a girl?” Tom asked. “I’ve tried to figure it out, and it doesn’t make any sense.”
“Oh.” Joel scratched his head. “I didn’t really mean to give you guys genders.”
“Didn’t mean to give us genders? What?” Crow yelped.
Mike stuck his head in the doorway. “What’s Crow yelling about?”
“Why the bots have the genders they do.”
“Oh?” Mike knit his brows. “Why are they genders they are?” Mike came in and sat on the table.
“I’m not sure. I didn’t mean to give them genders, they are after all robots. I think Crow and Gypsy just are their genders and Tom’s probably just a follower to be honest.”
“You’re saying I don’t have to be a boy?” Tom asked.
“You don’t have to be a boy.” Joel smiled.
“Well I wanna be a boy, so I don’t see what the big deal is.” Crow said.
“Why do you want to be boy? Girls are much better.” Tom said.
“You also don’t have to be either.” Joel patted both of them on the head.
“Either? Because they’re robots?” Mike asked.
“No, because gender isn’t just boy or girl.” Joel smiled at Mike. “You can be anything in between, and even outside of the binary altogether. You don’t even have to be a gender if you don’t feel like you have one.”
“Binary?” Mike’s voice cracked.
“Yeah, binary as in two, as in boy and girl. Boy is on one side, girl is on the other, and in the middle is androgynous. That’s a real simplified version but there it is.” Joel looked at all three of them with a gentle smile.
“Wait, wait, wait. I’ve been a boy this whole time when I could’ve been a girl?” Tom asked, voice high and loud.
“It’s alright Tom, you can change your gender whenever you want.” Joel patted him on the head.
“I can change it?” Tom asked.
“You can change it?” Mike asked at the same time.
“Yeah. People thought I was a girl for the longest time.”
“People thought you were a girl?!” Crow sounded unconvinced.
“Crazy right. I kind of went along with it for the most part. But about ten years ago I figured it out, and knew I was a boy, and well, here I am.”
“Awesome, so I can be a girl now?” Tom asked.
“Sure thing, buddy.” Joel smiled.
“Can I be a boy still?” Crow whined.
“No reason why not.”
“Hmmmm . . . I gotta think about this.” Tom hovered away.
“You can experiment too, don’t have to stick with one gender Tom!” Joel called after him.
“Hey, what is gender really?” Crow asked.
“It’s just kind of what you feel you are, honey.”
“That doesn’t make any sense.” Crow shook his head.
“Yeah, it’s kind of weird.” Joel smiled. “It’s just something you kind of know. Sometimes you don’t ever have an answer.” Joel looked at Mike and saw he was biting his lip, eyebrows knit together.
“Pretty positive I’m a boy, though.” Crow said as he left the room.
“Well good for you. I’m pretty positive I’m a boy too.” Joel laughed.
“Uh, Joel.” Mike was looking at his feet.
“Yeah?” Joel sat beside him, their thighs touching.
“How did you know?”
“That I was a man?”
“Yeah.” Mike’s hands were clenched in his lap.
“Mike . . .” Joel put his hand on Mike’s shoulder and felt that Mike was shaking. “It’s going to be okay, honey, I promise.” Mike looked up at him, eyes rimmed red. “Oh honey.” Joel put his arm around Mike and pulled him close.
“How did you know?” Mike whispered.
“I was dating this girl at the time.” Mike looked up at him sharply. “Yeah, I looked like a total lesbian too.” Joel laughed. “I’m actually bisexual, but men didn’t really go for the engineer dyke look.” Joel shook his head, gesturing at his jumpsuit as Mike snickered. “Anyways, I was dating this girl and she was really big in the LGBT community. So I kind of got an education on gender that way. Met another trans man, in fact a couple of them and after talking with them for a while things started to fall into place. Sadly Leah was a huge lesbian, she just had a hard time dating a dude. Great friends still, kept in touch until I got sent up here.” Joel looked at Mike, searching his face for an answer. “Is it okay that I’m trans? Because if it’s not we’re going to have a problem.” Joel whispered.
“No, no, it’s fine.” Mike muttered. “Honestly, Joel.” Mike hiccupped around a sob. “I don’t know what I’m doing.” He buried his face in his hands. “I don’t know what I am.”
Joel gathered Mike up in his arms. Mike turned his face into Joel’s shoulder and sobbed quietly. They sat like that for a while.
Mike rubbed his eyes. He leaned back to look at Joel’s face. “Okay, where do I go from here?”
“What makes you think you’re not one hundred percent man?”
Mike took a deep breath and sat quietly for a couple minutes before speaking. “Uh, I really like wearing dresses and wearing makeup. I feel . . . better when I do.”
“I kind of figured.” Joel laughed softly.
“Yeah.” Mike rubbed the back of his neck.
“You always seemed so defensive about it. Made me wonder.”
“The lady doth protest too much and all that.” Mike mumbled, looking at the ground.
“Something like that.” Joel touched Mike’s chin, gently guiding him to look at him. “Mike, don’t worry about freaking me out or anything like that. I’m here for you, no matter what.”
Mike took Joel’s hand and held it. “Thank you, Joel.” Mike smiled, bringing Joel’s hand to his chest. They sat that way in silence, Joel watching Mike think.
“I don’t think I’m a woman though.” Mike said, Joel could barely hear him. “But I’m, I’m not a man either?”
“Men can dress in traditional women’s clothing without it being a gender thing. Women dress in men’s clothing all the time and they’re still women.” Joel said, putting his other hand around Mike’s. “So clothing doesn’t necessarily equate to gender. Makes things complicated, I know.”
“Yeah.” Mike frowned.
“That wasn’t helpful was it?” Joel asked.
“Not really.” Mike snorted, shaking his head. “I don’t know, but when you said gender didn’t have to be just boy or girl. . .”
“You’d never heard that before.”
“No I hadn’t. And it felt . . . it felt right.” Mike smiled through silent tears. “What do I do with that?”
“You do what you want to do.” Joel squeezed Mike’s hand.
“I’m not sure what I want to do.” Mike cocked his head. “I think I just need to sit with this new information.”
“I got some things you can read if you want. They might help.” Joel ran a hand through Mike’s hair.
“Yeah?” Mike leaned into the touch.
“Yeah.” Joel smiled, swaying towards Mike, hand resting at the base of his neck. “We’ll get through this together, okay.”
“Together.” Mike blushed, holding Joel’s gaze. “You know . . . I think I do know what I want to do.”
“Hmmm?” Joel licked his lips. He felt Mike shaking. Joel was shaking as well.
“I’d like to kiss you. . .” Mike leaned in and met Joel’s lips in a soft kiss. “Thank you.” He mumbled against his lips. Joel brought his other hand up to Mike’s face and kissed him again, tongue swiping against Mike’s lower lip. Mike gasped, hands moving to Joel’s hips as the kissed deepened. They broke for air and Mike leaned his forehead against Joel’s. “Sorry. . .”
“Sorry? Why are you sorry?” Joel ran his thumb over Mike’s cheek.
“I imagined this going differently.” Mike laughed quietly, hands flexing against Joel’s hips.
“Didn’t think you’d declare your affection for me during the start of an identity crisis?” Joel leaned forward and kissed Mike again before he could answer. “I think it went just fine darling.”
“Darling?” Mike pushed at Joel’s shoulders.
“Yeah . . . darling.” Joel laughed. “I just didn’t know how you felt about it, or I would’ve done this sooner.”
“I give off a straight guy vibe don’t I?”
“Less of one than you would think.” Joel pinched Mike’s cheek. “But yes.”
“Kiss me again.” Mike whispered. Joel leaned forward, climbing into Mike’s lap. Their lips moved lazily against each other’s.
“Why now?” Joel asked when they parted.
Mike ran his hands up Joel’s back. “Just rolling with the punches and opening up to me and the gender stuff. . .” He bit his lip and buried his face into Joel’s shoulder, closing his eyes tight. Joel brought his arms around Mike and squeezed him in a hug. Mike shook with silent sobs as Joel pet his hair. Finally Mike took a shaky breath and leaned back with a laugh. “Besides you told me you were bisexual. Things clicked into place after that.”
“Am I that obvious?” Joel asked, wiping away the tears from Mike’s eyes.
“Kind of. I wasn’t sure until now. A lot of what you’ve done makes sense now though.” Mike laughed.
“I do get kind of handsy.” Joel winced.
“I don’t mind.” Mike smiled. “Kiss me again, Joel.”
“Always, honey.”
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Epilogue:
“Forrester’s super cool about it.” Joel said, leaning against the wall.
“I find that hard to believe. He hasn’t send us up whatever the hell we wanted before. What makes you think gender things are going to be any different?” Mike folded his arms and frowned.
“Yeah, well this particular cause hits close to home. Besides, he’s an equal opportunity employer.”
“Okay, whatever you say Joel.”
“Hey Mads!” Joel said brightly as the screen came on.
“What do you want?” Forrester growled. He was painting his toe nails.
“Bad time?” Joel asked.
“Isn’t it always?” Forrester grumbled. “Get on with it so I can get back to spa night.”
“Well Mike’s having some gender feels and we were wondering if you could send us up some stuff. We’ll send you a list?” Joel asked.
“Gender feels you say?” Forrester looked up with a grin. “I’m familiar with those evil things. Sure send it down. Wouldn’t want dysphoria and other gender feel pain mixing up my brain scans now would I?”
“Really?” Mike hiccuped.
“I’m a follower of the “Die Cis Scum” motto myself, as your resident trans guy mad scientist. Can’t resist a spa night now and again though.” He brandished his nail polish brush with flair.
“Huh.” Mike gaped at the screen.
“So send that list down, Joel. And let me know if any pronouns or names have changed up there. I may be evil but I’m not that kind of evil.”
“Will do, Dr. F. Thanks.” Joel sent the list down and shut the screen off.
“What the-?” Mike spluttered.
“We're everywhere.” Joel laughed.
.............................................................................................................................
“What the fuck is that?” Mike walked in wearing short grey drawstring shorts and a floral crop top from the box of gender goodies Forrester had sent up.
“My ‘Down With Cis’ shirt!” Joel grabbed the hem and pulled it taut so Mike could see it better.
“Uh huh.” Mike shook his head.
“Forrester sent it up. Let’s thank him.” Joel hit the button. Mike gasped at the image. Forrester was wearing a matching shirt.
“What’s with the ‘Down With Cis’ shirts?”
“Internet meme.” Forrester smiled. “Truly a work of evil.” He rubbed his hands together and laughed.
“Got all the cis people mixed up and angry.” Joel said in an aside to Mike.
“Uh huh.” Mike frowned. The bots came in with similar shirts on as well. Mike spluttered. “Crow you’re not trans, are you?”
“I wasn’t assigned a gender at all at birth, sooooo . . . since I'm a boy now, I’m trans.” Crow said.
"Huh, okay." Mike shook himself and looked at Joel. Joel merely smiled back at him.
“I see you’ve all taken to the evil trans scheme with your usual enthusiasm.” Forrester laughed, a long, annoying, evil laugh.
“We have indeed Dr. F.” Joel smiled. Mike was still frowning. Joel pulled him into a one armed hug.
“You guys together or something?” Forrester squinted up at them.
“Yeah.” Joel said grinning. Mike blushed.
“Figures.” He shook his head. “Well glad the gender feels are all taken care of, now we can get back to pure, untainted torture. See you boobies tomorrow for the movie.” He hit the button and the screen went dark.
“What’s the matter Mike?” Tom asked.
“Why don’t I get a shirt?” Mike pouted. Joel snickered and reached under the console to pull out a tie-dye rainbow ball of fabric.
“We had to make it into a crop top first. Duh.” Crow said.
“And tie-dye it!” Gypsy piped in.
Joel shook out the shirt and showed it to Mike. Mike grinned. He plucked the shirt out of Joel’s hands and flung it on the console. He grabbed Joel by the shoulders and kissed him. The bots all started screaming and ran out of the room.
Mike pulled back. “You guys are terrible."
“We try our best.”