Work Text:
When Childe and Zhongli first began their relationship, Childe thought he was prepared for whatever Zhongli might throw at him. Draconic heats? Check. Adepti courting rituals? Check. Occasional scales? Check. Eggs? Well, they hadn’t actually discussed that one and Childe didn’t intend to bring it up unprompted - but the point was, he wasn’t worried about Adepti culture shock.
That is, until he woke up one morning to find Zhongli gone and a small lump residing on his side of the bed.
His first instinct is to poke it, which he does. The lump wiggles and Childe hears something scrabble against the sheets. Had a wild animal gotten in during the night?
Cautiously, he prods the lump again. It moves away from him, tunnelling around under the sheets. Childe watches as it moves round in circles - rather rapidly for a creature of such small size.
He takes the edge of the blanket between his fingers, slowly lifting. However, before he can reveal the thing, it bolts towards his legs. It zigzags clumsily, but much faster than Childe was expecting.
The creature manages to careen into his thigh, scrambling with tiny claws - ouch - into his lap. Childe wheezes when the hard little body collides with his crotch. Double ouch.
Unwilling to let the thing continue on its path of destruction, Childe grabs one of the wiggling limbs and pulls the creature on top of the bedding.
He squints. The thing is a small brown dragon, with a set of mini horns sprouting from its little head. It curls in on itself, pulling away from Childe’s grip. Careful to avoid its bared teeth, Childe grasps it’s face, turning it upwards.
The dragon’s eyes are hypnotically beautiful - gold and glimmering like freshly cut Cor Lapis. And most of all, they’re.... very familiar.
Childe’s eyes widen. He drops the creature and it buries itself under the sheets again. Those eyes where Zhongli’s eyes. It was unmistakable - Childe would be able to recognise them anywhere.
Childe lifts the sheets, watching the golden brown scales glimmer as the dragon nests in his bed. Could it be...? He remembers the Exuvia and Zhongli speaking of his draconic form before. But this tiny, chubby little creature is nothing like the lithe, graceful silhouette of the Exuvia.
Cautiously, he nudges the dragon. “Zhongli?”
The dragon makes a loud squeaking noise of recognition, pawing at the bed.
Childe lets the blanket flap back into place. Then he buries his face in his hands, fighting the urge to shriek at the absurdity of the situation. How did he end up here? How is he supposed to deal with this?” How did Zhongli turn into this?
Since Childe voiced its name, the dragon seems keener on him. Childe startles when he feels a cold foot against his leg. This time, it’s claws are withdrawn and it climbs into his lap slowly. After a slow kneading motion, it curls up, resting it’s little head against his hip.
Great. Now Childe wants to shriek for an entirely different reason. This thing - Zhongli, his mind supplies - is rapidly becoming the cutest thing Childe has ever seen.
The entire situation is like a colossal joke. As if to confirm that Childe is the punchline, the dragon begins to purr, vibrating gently against his legs. This is ridiculous.
But Childe can’t bring himself to move positions. Disturbing the creature whilst it was so comfortable would be an act of unforgivable evil, even for him. He resigns himself to having sore thighs - the dragon was not light, despite its small size - and starts brainstorming.
By the time the dragon begins to stir, Childe has thought the situation over. He’s come to terms that this is indeed Zhongli, and that his lover has experienced a major reduction in brain power. He seems to recognise his own name and his preexisting fondness for Childe, but that’s about it.
Zhongli leaps out of Childe’s lap, rolling over on the bed. His paws tug at the sheets, frustrated with something. Childe tilts his head, watching the adorable little tantrum.
“You’re making it a bit hard to believe that you’re Zhongli, you know.” He says, smothering a laugh when the dragon huffs. “Alright, what is it that you want? I might as well try to keep you happy whilst you’re... like this.”
Zhongli just kicks the bed, resting his head against his paws woefully.
Childe sighs. “You wanna read? Or eat?” Abruptly, he wonders if Zhongli considers himself naked in this form. “You want clothes?”
He’s rather relieved when the dragon doesn’t respond. He’s not sure where he’d find a set of clothes small enough to fit Zhongli at the moment.
His eyes fall on the empty cup on Zhongli’s bedside table. “Do you want tea?”
The dragon lets out a shrill squeak, seemingly recognising that term. Zhongli crawls over to Childe and butts him with his head.
“That’s a yes, huh.” Childe muses, rising from the bed. “Can you understand what I’m saying, then?” He leans closer to Zhongli, enunciating. “Do... You... Understand... Me?”
Zhongli turns around, offering Childe a view of his swishing tail.
Childe rubs his face. “That’s a no. What am I trying to do, communicating with—“
He’s interrupted by Zhongli getting restless again, and he heads into the kitchen with only a little reluctance.
He returns with a cup of tea, brewed with the leaves Zhongli keeps in one of his fancy packets. He offers it to the dragon.
Zhongli takes one sniff of the drink and dashes to the other side of the bed. His little snout seems to wrinkle in disgust.
The second attempted cup elicits the same reaction - and the third.
Childe has half a mind to just flop back into bed and leave this adorable new Zhongli to fend for himself.
But the dragon seems to have realised something, because he scampers off the bed. Childe finds Zhongli clawing at the door, little body stretched as high as it can go.
“It’s pretty dangerous out there, Zhongli.” Childe protests. Zhongli loops around his legs, rubbing against his ankles. Then he goes back to scratching the door.
Massaging his temples, Childe kneels down next to Zhongli. “Where do you want to go?”
Zhongli just stares up at him with wide gold eyes, head tilted.
“Great. Another guessing game.” When Zhongli returns to his normal self, he had better take Childe out for the nicest, fanciest dinner ever - and pay for everything himself, for once.
Childe pats Zhongli’s head absentmindedly and begins rattled off locations. “The docks? Bubu Pharmacy? Luhua Pool? Heyu Teahouse? Wangsheng Funeral Parlour?” Just as Childe is beginning to lose his will to continue, Zhongli perks up, turning in a circle.
Childe raises his eyebrows. “Wangsheng Funeral Parlour?”
Zhongli lets out a small squeak and circles Childe again, pushing him towards the door.
“Hold on!” Childe yelps, trying not to trip. “I’m practically naked, give me a second!” He untangles himself from the persistent dragon and rushes into the bedroom, rifling through his clothes.
He’s just pulled on a pair of trousers when Zhongli appears in the doorway. He watches Childe with curious eyes and they’re so human that it’s a little disconcerting. Laughing, Childe throws a shirt at him. “Don’t be a pervert, xiansheng.” The honorific sounds strange on his tongue, when applied to this pudgy little creature.
He tugs a jacket closed around his chest, chuckling when he sees Zhongli struggle out from under the shirt, poking it with his horns.
He slots his feet into two boots, not even sure if they match in his haste.
“Right.” He approaches Zhongli, who is currently scratching his tail. With one quick movement, he scoops Zhongli up with a hand under his scaly belly. He expects struggling, but after a few in initial wiggles, the dragon settles in his grip, legs dangling.
Awkwardly, Childe opens the door, tucking Zhongli under his arm. Wangsheng Funeral Parlour, here they come.
“Well if it isn’t Mr Zhongli’s boy-toy!” Hu Tao exclaims when Childe walks through the doors of the Funeral Parlour. He twitches at the nickname. She had never been scared of him for his Harbinger title - if anything, she delights in it.
She jumps up from where she was hanging off the back of a chair, grinning at him. “Have you been drumming up any business for me recently?”
“Can’t say that I have.” Childe sighs when Zhongli squirms under his armpit, pawing at his side. He was pretty docile on the walk over but he seems to have finally realised that they’ve arrived. “Listen, Hu Tao. Did Zhongli leave anything here that he might really need? Or did you have any tasks that he absolutely needs to complete today? Stuff that might require him to come here urgently?”
Hu Tao hums, eyeing Childe curiously. “I’d have to take a look. What is that thing you’re holding?” She squints, stroking her chin cartoonishly. “Did you get it from Granny Shan? It looks like a plush toy.”
“If only.” Childe mutters under his breath, trying to control Zhongli’s tiny claws. “It’s... a friend.”
Hu Tao’s eyes light up. “A dead pet? We have a half-off special on burials of that nature right now! Can I interest you in any of our smaller sized coffins? Perfect for sending off beloved pets into the great beyond.”
Childe nearly drops Zhongli. “No. No dead pets.”
Hu Tao purses her lips, regarding him with a mischievous look. “You suuuure? Well, if it’s still alive then I can offer you a future discount, if it happens to die in the next eight months. In fact—“
“No.” Childe cuts her off. A headache is rapidly forming between his brows. Hu Tao was far too persistent for her own good.
In a moment that he would later blame on temporary insanity, Childe thrusts the dragon into her face and tells her the truth. “This is Zhongli.”
Hu Tao blinks. Then she bursts into laughter, poking Childe’s shoulder. The movement jostles Zhongli and lets out an indignant meep sound.
Eventually, Hu Tao shuts up but a few errant giggles continue to escape. “Childe. You’re trying to prank me? You know I love good fun, but I’m not going to fall for something so blatantly untrue! Does Zhongli know you’re down here, comparing him to your little... reptile?”
The little reptile in question is wriggling determinedly, trying to bite Childe’s fingers. Childe holds him at arms length, giving Hu Tao an annoyed look. “Did Zhongli leave anything here or not?”
The irritation must get through to her because she disappears into the back room, singing something about hilichurl-reptile hybrids.
She remerges with a small black parcel in her hands. Childe wedges Zhongli underneath his arm again and takes the packet from Hu Tao. There’s fine gold lettering on the edges, but Childe can’t even begin to decode what it says.
Hu Tao rocks back on her heels. “A tea delivery from Heyu Teahouse he had sent here.”
The pieces click into place in Childe’s mind. Of course this was connected to Zhongli’s quest for tea. “Thank you, Hu Tao.”
“No problem!” She beams. “Just don’t forget what I said about the halved prices!”
Childe nods, leaving the Funeral Parlour as quickly as possible. Zhongli is straining towards the tea with his little dragon arms, squeaking. Childe reaches down to rip open the package so that the smell can placate Zhongli, but he freezes before the packet splits.
“Wait.” An idea occurs to him, of how he might solve this mess. He doubts he’ll be welcome, but he might as well try.
Zhongli’s tea will just have to wait a little longer.
The moment Childe sets foot in Jueyun Karst, the wind turns cold. Zhongli makes a quiet mewl of protest, nuzzling into Childe’s side.
“What are you doing here?”
An unwelcoming voice - and a familiar one. He turns to find Xiao standing on a rock outcrop behind him, spear in hand. Damn. He’d been hoping to find someone a little less hostile.
He clears his throat. “I need your help.”
Xiao scowls at him, hand twitching on his spear. “I do not concern myself with the wishes of unworthy mortals. Leave.”
Childe grimaces. “It’s regarding Zhongli.”
Xiao pauses, brow furrowing. He doesn’t give any indication that he’s heard Childe but at least he stops fingering his spear menacingly.
Childe presses on. “We’ve run into a little problem.”
“Your courtship worries are of no concern to me.” Xiao shoots back, moving to leave.
“Wait!” Childe yelps before Xiao can vanish melodramatically in a puff of smoke. “Just... Look.”
He holds Zhongli out, hands cupped around the dragon’s tubby middle. Zhongli’s legs pump in the air for a moment, trying to walk, before he tilts his head, tail swaying.
Xiao watches, eyes widening slightly. He leaps down from the rocks, approaching Childe. He stares at Zhongli, thoughtful concentration written across his features.
Then he lowers his head. “My lord.”
There’s something hysterically funny about seeing Xiao show his usual deferential respect to Zhongli when he’s in this form. Childe smothers a snort.
Xiao looks up, frowning. “When did he become like this?”
Childe clears his throat, cupping Zhongli to his chest now that Xiao has inspected him. “This morning.”
He exhales when Zhongli headbutts his pecs, trying to get his attention.
He glances down to find the dragon wiggling, trying to reach towards the tea Childe has stowed away in his pocket. “Okay, okay.” He murmurs, taking the dark packet from his shirt.
He presents it to Xiao. “O’ Great Adeptus Alatus, please accept this offering. And go brew a couple of cups for us, whilst you’re at it. My tea-making abilities aren’t good enough for this fussy little god.”
Xiao looks like he’s going to stab Childe for his impertinence, but a plaintive squeak from Zhongli distracts him. His eyes soften when the dragon waves its paw at him.
“Fine. I will do this for Rex Lapis’ sake - not yours.” He glowers, taking the tea from Childe.
“Fine by me.” Childe shrugs. “Where do you want me to meet you?”
“Mount Aocang should be suitable.”
Childe’s jaw falls open. “Mount Aocang? But that’s forty miles away!
“Not my issue.” Xiao responds curtly, disappearing with a burst of darkness.
Childe huffs. He pats Zhongli’s head, readjusting his grip on the dragon. “Looks like we’re hiking, xiansheng.”
Childe arrives at the foot of the mountain a few hours later, breathless from the journey. Zhongli, who spent the trek curled around Childe’s bicep, is as unaffected as ever.
With a sigh of relief, he spots Xiao standing in front of a stone table, watching the sun dip in the sky.
He senses their presence and turns. “You’re late. You made me wait.”
Childe resists the urge to throw Zhongli at Xiao. He had no doubt the impact would hurt quite a bit - like being smacked with a small rock. “Well, you didn’t pick the most convenient location.”
He places Zhongli on the table, watching him scamper around the set of three cups and teapot. He flops down onto one of the stone seats, kicking his legs.
Zhongli settles in front of his own cup, delicately licking at the surface. It’s rather precious.
Xiao sits gingerly in the seat across from Childe, seemingly unwilling to use it.
“So. I think an explanation is in order. It’s not everyday I wake up to a tiny dragon making a nest in my bed.”
Xiao’s face goes white. “He was nesting?”
Childe tilts his head. “I think so? That’s what it looked like. Then he decided he needed tea and dragged me to Wangsheng Funeral Parlour.”
Zhongli finishes his tea, crowing quietly. He looks happy.
Xiao, on the other hand, looks like he’d prefer to be anywhere else right now. “Have you and Rex Lapis... consummated your relationship?” He spits the question like a threat.
Childe blinks. “Uh... Yes? We live together, what did you think we were doing?” He adds, before he can think better of it.
Xiao’s expression is stormy. He looks a few seconds away from donning his Yaksha mask and hurling his spear at Childe.
Zhongli, oblivious to the animosity sparking between them, plods around on the table, sniffing at their untouched cups.
“Do you have any idea what this means?” Childe asks.
Xiao gives him such a ferocious glare that Childe reaches for his bow on instinct. “Yes.”
They both pause when Zhongli makes a contented noise, lapping at Xiao’s tea.
Xiao sighs, lips turned downwards. “Let it be known that I’m only telling you this in order to ensure you can care for my lord properly.” He waits until Childe nods before continuing. “Adepti sometimes... Revert back into a less evolved state. They will remember all when they return to their typical shape, but whilst they are in this form, they do not possess their usual minds. For Rex Lapis, that is what you see before you.” Xiao gestures to where Zhongli is batting at the edge of the table.
Childe nods, taking the ridiculous turn of fate in his stride. “Why does this happen? How do I get him to return to his human form?”
Xiao avoids eye contact. “It occurs when he feels wholly safe in a mate’s presence.”
“Hold on. A mate?” Childe interrupts, alarmed.
“Yes. Him nesting in your bed shows that he thinks of you as... that.” Xiao finishes, looking deeply uncomfortable. “You cannot control when he returns to human form, but typically it has never lasted longer than three nights.”
Childe sits back on the stool, mind racing. “And this has happened before?”
“Yes. With the Dragon King and Lord of Vishaps, Azhdaha.”
At the name, Zhongli looks up, chirping. He appears to recognise it, even in his altered state.
Childe nods slowly, processing the onslaught of information. He’s coming to one clear realisation - he was an idiot to think he was prepared for all the oddities of a relationship with an Adeptus.
Xiao waits for Zhongli to finish his tea, then stands. “That is all I know about this practice. Ensure that you provide him with adequate nutrition and regularly hydrate him.”
“I will.” Childe agrees, still reeling from the realisation that Zhongli thinks of him as his mate.
Xiao vanishes without another word. In the distance, Childe spots him sailing over Mount Aocang.
Zhongli makes a woeful sound besides him, seemingly missing Xiao. Childe strokes his back comfortingly, fingers catching on the rough scales.
He sneaks a thumb under Zhongli’s chin, lifting his face so Childe can see his eyes. “Your mate…” He repeats to himself, scratching the dragon’s nape. Zhongli begins to cheep again, leaning into Childe’s touch.
“Let’s get you home.” Childe murmurs, picking him up after one last scratch. “We’re going to have a lot to talk about when you turn back.”
The rest of the evening proves surprisingly peaceful. Childe sits down on a stout wooden chair next to Zhongli’s calligraphy table and begins to flick through some papers he was given by Northland Bank. Zhongli curls up in his lap, occasionally stretching and changing position, but otherwise very peaceful. The sensation of Zhongli’s purrs reverberating across his thighs is comforting.
Eventually, the sky darkens as night falls and Childe begins to yawn. He pushes the papers away and nudges Zhongli, waking him up. Carefully, he lifts the dragon and carries him towards the bed. After a moment of thought, he deposits him on Zhongli’s pillow.
Zhongli sniffs at the fabric, then rolls over, waving his feet in the air. His golden belly is exposed as he tosses from side to side. Childe smiles, despite himself. He’s becoming quite fond of this form.
Zhongli rights himself and lies down, next to where Childe’s own face will rest. Childe lays a gentle kiss on the dragon’s horns, laughing when he scrabbles at Childe’s face with his paws. “Good night, xiansheng. Sleep well.”
A couple of minutes later, he climbs into bed himself. He falls asleep with Zhongli curled up next to his face, the bedding vibrating with his purrs.
The next morning, Childe is awoken by someone kissing him. His eyes fly open as he remembers the events of the day before.
Zhongli is leaning over him, human again. He’s smiling softly and Childe swears he has never looked more beautiful.
A quiet “good morning” is all Zhongli can get out before Childe throws his arms around him, dragging him into a full-body embrace.
Zhongli chuckles in surprise as Childe hugs him closer, kissing every inch of skin he can find. “I take it you’re pleased to see me in human form again?”
Childe lets go abruptly, grabbing Zhongli’s jaw. He pulls him into a hard kiss, adoration throbbing inside his chest.
“I love you.” He mumbles against Zhongli’s lips. “But next time tell me if you plan to transform into a tiny dragon.”
Zhongli falls back against the pillows, linking their fingers together. “Well, that doesn’t seem necessary - you did a fine job without knowing I was going to transform.”
Childe squeezes his hand, eyes narrowed.
Zhongli laughs. “But yes, I will try and notify you if I feel such a state coming on again.”
“Good.” Childe hooks his leg around Zhongli’s thigh, bringing their bodies closer. “So.” He begins conversationally. “I’m your mate, huh?”
Zhongli purses his lips, trying not to smile. “We will discuss that over breakfast.”
“Alright.” Childe relents, wrapping his arms around Zhongli’s middle. “I love you.”
Zhongli lays a quick kiss against Childe’s jaw. “I love you too, Childe. Thank you.”