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When it comes right down to it, Marc believes in Khonshu. He might not like him, might not always agree with him, but there is faith there, between the two of them, on both sides. It's not the worst thing he's ever tried to believe in.
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Interesting. And informative. (I am speaking very weirdly rn)
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Marc’s faith is nothing like his father’s. Elias Spector had believed in peace, in understanding, in forgiveness so deeply that he’d let it paralyse him when violence came to his hearth. He was a gentle man, a kind man, and his faith had reflected that.
Neither Elias Spector or the faith he held to had ever come to save Marc when he needed it.
For years after he left, Marc had believed in nothing. Not the way Steven believed in nothing either. Steven believed in nothing in the way of casual agnostics, of people who had no real need for faith in their lives, and no strong feelings over the subject. Steven could spend his whole life believing in nothing and never feel a lack. It was different for Marc, the kind of unbelief that comes from despair, from knowing the world to be so cruel that a kind God was unthinkable.
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One-Shot
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Khonshu is not a kind God, it’s not in his nature and Marc suspects it’s not something he’s capable of. He is cruel, and demanding, and sometimes Marc fears he will break under the weight of his demands. But…
Khonshu picked him up when he was bleeding out in the desert with the weight of uncountable sins and unresolved mistakes bearing down on him. He picked him up and he didn’t offer forgiveness, or mercy, or a hundred other things Marc didn’t deserve and would never have allowed himself to accept. Khonshu picked him up and said that there was work to do. That he might be broken, and half dead, and drowning in a lifetime of regrets, but that didn’t mean he had to be done, it didn’t have to end there. There was a job to be done and he could do it. And then he asked, he asked and Marc chose to live, he had been ready to die but it was on Khonshu’s word that he chose to live. If that wasn’t faith, then what was?