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It started off a normal day, well, what the gang considered the new normal now that they turned good. Waking up early, eating breakfast together, and heading off to their own work or to help the Governor (Snake still refused to call her by name just because, no other reason at all) with her charities and deeds of goodwill, stuff like that, yet Snake was still getting used to this lifestyle. But can you blame him? They had a schedule like an average person now! One that didn’t involve curfews and security guard shifts. They can go out for dinner, make reservations and eat comfortably without tables and chairs getting tipped over. They can take strolls through town and not hear screams and tires screeching every other second, and sometimes pleasant smiles are directed their way. Everything’s suddenly weird and he was suffering from whiplash at every turn. Something new that Snake actually liked though, was the honor of calling the handsome and charming angel named Wolf his boyfriend (though he’d rather pull his own fangs out first before he’ll admit that so enthusiastically out loud).
Snake had been vaguely aware that his feelings for Wolf were different than what he felt for his other friends a long while back when they still did crimes. Dinners out before heists, exclusive driving privileges for Wolf’s beloved car (Snake can’t drive but it’s the thought that counts), and the occasional cuddle sessions when the weather got too cold. But he chose to ignore these things then because he was a jaded, bitter man who saw nothing good in the world. Who knew all it took was a psychopathic pig and a near-death experience for him to reconsider his feelings for his best friend? Not Snake that’s for sure.
Anyways, life’s good, they’re good, everything’s good… Until it wasn’t.
Now, Snake was aware that he can be selfish and possessive, a byproduct of being deprived of acceptance and affirmation for most of his life. He was trying to change that, he really was. But there were times when his old habits reared their ugly heads and he can do nothing against them. The worst one to date was today, at some charity gala for marine life conservation.
The gang was all dressed up in fancy, black suits, bow ties, and all as they chaperoned and entertained the event’s guests. It was towards the end of the gala where the Governor was announcing the total amount of money donated, millions or something or other. Snake wasn’t really listening as his attention was solely focused on the vixen’s paw, currently around Wolf’s— his Wolf’s— waist, while she thanked him and their gang for helping out tonight. It was probably to aid their reputation but Snake couldn’t care less as his thoughts ran miles a minute.
Before he could stop it, Snake let out a particularly loud hiss before quickly slithering off the stage and out of the venue. It wasn’t long before he heard Wolf call out after him, but Snake ignored everything save for the nagging in his head and only stopped when he reached Wolf’s locked car.
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Wolf’s paw on his neck was warm and Snake unconsciously leaned into it.
“Nothing.” He tried to sound composed, but there was an edge to his voice that he knew only Wolf could discern. “I just needed some air, everything’s fine. You should go back. They’re probably looking for you.”
“Aw, sweetheart, you’re more important.” The heat of Wolf’s paw briefly left Snake’s skin as his boyfriend went to quickly unlock the car. Wolf urged Snake into the warm space before shutting the door, muting the outside world and giving them both their little bubble of privacy, if only for a little while. “Wanna talk about it?”
“I…” Snake hesitated. He knows Wolf was willing to listen. As insufferable as his boyfriend was at times, Wolf learned when to seriously listen and how to act accordingly when it came to emotions. The two had agreed to be honest with each other when they thought back to that one time in jail when their gang, especially Wolf and Snake, had a falling out. But was he really going to trouble Wolf over something as stupid as jealousy? And over an innocent paw around the waist, no less. While Snake was (metaphorically) stomping off over something so trivial, Wolf was out there showing how good they were. How good Wolf was. Snake didn’t deserve someone like that. “I don’t think I’m… good enough—”
“Oh, Snakey.” Wolf cupped Snake’s cheek with a paw and drew him closer. “Of course you’re good. They know that, I know that, you know that.”
Snake suddenly couldn’t meet Wolf’s eyes, those beautiful ambers filled with such caring and love. “I don’t think I’m good enough… for you…”
“Snake, please look at me.” He did so, with much hesitation. “Do you love me?”
“Of course I love you.” This, Snake said with no hesitation at all. How could he not love this perfect man in front of him? With everything they’ve been through it was inevitable, one way or another. What Wolf asked next though, made his heart drop to the tip of his tail.
“Why?”
Snake opened his mouth to answer, though no sound came out. He could say that it’s because Wolf was perfect, but that was taking the easy way out. So, he tried to think of specific reasons why but so many things were running through his mind that he couldn’t sort any of it out. It was such a simple question: ‘Why?’, but Snake found himself tongue-tied as he looked back into Wolf’s eyes. Sad but patient, as if he believed that Snake was even remotely close to figuring out the answer.
The silence was broken when the rest of the gang arrived, worried about Snake but still on a high from the charity party. Snake appreciated the others not pushing for the reason why he stormed out like that, at least. The drive back to their shared house was quiet, a sharp contrast to the loud and messy thoughts swirling within Snake’s head. Even Wolf’s small smile before he turned around and promptly fell asleep did little to soothe the painful grip curled around Snake’s heart.
…
The clock read 11:27 PM. Snake sighed. His thoughts were still in a state of disaster no matter what he did. So he tried sorting them out again. Thirtieth (30th) times the charm.
He was well aware of Wolf’s attraction to the Governor and how it was reciprocated, and though Wolf assured he was over her, it didn’t change the fact that his feelings could change. If notorious bad guys were able to completely turn over a new leaf, how hard is it for fickle emotions to do the same? Besides, what did Snake even have to offer? He couldn’t hold Wolf like the fox was doing earlier, couldn’t return those embraces Wolf loved so much. Snake can only coil around Wolf as if he was going to suffocate his own boyfriend.
“Snaaake! My whole body hurts, I need a hug!”
It was after one of their earlier heists where they had just successfully finished robbing a bank hiding away literal bars of gold. Who deposits actual gold in a bank? Well, sucks for them because Snake and the rest of the gang now owned the things. If only they didn’t have to run away carrying the heavy bags when Piranha being Piranha went and tripped the alarm. Now all of them, save for Webs ‘cause she isn’t even able to carry one bar, were sprawled all over the hideout and exhausted from lugging around the stuff.
“Don’t you lay a paw on me, Wolf. I’m hurting too. And it’s not like a hug’s gonna help.”
Although yes, Wolf was off worse having carried two sacks of pure gold while Snake only pulled along half of one so he really can’t complain much. It was just that the thought of hugging Wolf made something stir in Snake’s guts.
“Of course, it will, because I’m cold and that means you’re cold. But if you’re really going to make a fuss over me hugging you, then you hug me. I need the comfort.”
Snake rolled his eyes with a scoff. “Don’t know if you know this but snake hugs usually involve suffocation and then getting swallowed whole.”
Wolf only spread his arms wide open as he laid down on the couch, smirking at Snake all the while. “Then eat me up, baby.”
No, no, no, nope. Snake definitely wasn’t flustered. Wolf’s charming grin definitely wasn’t working its magic and Snake definitely didn’t slither over because of feelings. It’s just like Wolf said; cold ‘cause it was nighttime and he was just being a friend and friends hug all the time. Yeah. Even if Wolf’s fur was soft and comfortable against his scales and the steady rise and fall of Wolf’s chest was a calming sensation.
“Mmh… My standards for hugs will never be the same after this one.”
Snake was smiling but Wolf didn’t need to know that. “Idiot, who even needs standards for hugs.”
Wolf’s laugh was as warm as the embrace they both snuggled into.
Woah, okay. Snake thought he had permanently forgotten about that one. It was an embarrassing memory to remember back then but now he can say it was an admittedly— ahem— cute moment. He was getting soft. But where was he? Oh, right. The question ‘Why?’ and the self-deprecating thoughts that came along with it. Like their age gap…
A whole twenty-six (26) years apart. Wolf could definitely do someone better, someone younger, more fit, someone that could offer Wolf more in life and then some. Because Wolf deserves that. And sure, at first glance, it would be hard to tell how old any of them were so people often stare because a wolf and a snake are in a relationship. So Snake really didn’t think much about their age until behind closed doors. Because being part of the gang, their little family, made sharing a few personal information inevitable.
“—and then I almost chomped his sausage off! That’s what he gets for calling me a bottom.”
Piranha was just retelling another one of his sexual escapades, shamelessly describing every detail of his encounter. At least he was censoring certain words.
“The way your story went,” Wolf smirked, voice teasing. “makes it sound like you are one.”
“Ey, I’m a switch, ese. You hear? Don’t make me almost chomp your sausage off too.”
Wolf chuckled as he leaned back against the seat he was on, side eying Snake. “Sorry, Piranha. I’m not into you like that.”
It wasn’t a secret that everyone in the gang had experiences with the same gender. That’s why they were all comfortable sharing their various conquests and drunken hookups. Snake remembers that time his friends were all wide-eyed as he recalled the story about footlongs and having no gag reflex. Wolf in particular seemed to pay more attention.
“Hey, Snake. It’s your turn to tell a story.” Shark’s voice piped up.
“Nah, I don’t feel like it.” He was still thinking about side eyes.
“I bet he just doesn’t have any more to tell.” Webs grinned, looking smug and all. “Even with how old he is.”
Piranha ‘ohhh’d’ like the obnoxious little gremlin he is, Wolf had an eyebrow raised while Shark looked very curious. “How old is he?”
Webs’ grin grew wider and Snake had never wanted to squish a bug more in his entire life than he did this moment (yes, he’s aware Webs was an arachnid but he really doesn’t care right now). “Fifty-one (51) years old.”
Piranha burst into another round of ‘ohhhs’, Shark was holding back giggles behind his fins, and Wolf, well, Wolf just looked at him strangely.
“How do you know that?” Snake spat, venomous. And he was about to go through with that in the literal sense as well if Webs got any more pleased with herself.
“I went through all of you guys’ files.”
“What!?”
“Come on, buddy. It’s not that big of a deal. ‘Sides, it’s my turn to tell a story.” Wolf cut in. “So, once upon a time—” Wolf leaned forward and braced his arms on the seat’s armrest, grinning almost wickedly. “older men are really sexy and I’m very much into them like that.”
“WHAT!?”
That was seven (7) years ago and yet the embarrassment still felt fresh. Snake had a gay panic then and refused to talk to Wolf for about a week, they only sort of resolved the issue when Wolf said that it was a joke. Which they both knew was a lie but at least that got the others off their backs for bit. Wait, this wasn’t how Snake’s session of self-loathing was supposed to go, but… he was sensing some sort of pattern here. Something that was leading him closer to the answer.
Snake glanced over to the sleeping form of his lover and thought about how good he’s been these past few months. Wolf had been volunteering for charities left and right, helping in children’s hospitals and animal rescue centers, things like that. It wasn’t just for reputation or showing face either, Snake can tell that Wolf genuinely enjoys doing good deeds and that came to Snake as no surprise. Back when they still did crimes, Wolf took in a band of misfits nobody loved despite no one asking him of it and made such a tight-knit family that always had each other’s backs. He was good even when they were bad, and now Wolf was so good. Was Snake even good enough for Wolf? Of course, he wasn’t. Snake was selfish, rude, and angry at the world, at everyone else, and at himself. He’ll never be good enough. Not good enough, never will be, never, never—
Snake woke up with a start, panting heavily as his eyes darted around the room. Metal bars. Dull concrete. Orange shirt. He was in jail, right. Right. He wasn’t falling to his death while taking the gang with him. But he must have really looked like a bad guy to his friends then, especially to Wolf, showing up with the pig and announcing their allegiance like that. Still, Snake was fully prepared to take the fall if it meant the rest of the gang went on to enjoy their lives as bad turned good, they deserved that and more. And yet they all chased after him because they wanted him back? Snake wasn’t religious but he wondered if he was some sort of saint in his past life to have been stuck with such reckless yet lovable people.
But there had been a nagging voice in the back of his head after all the excitement died down, asking if he was really worth saving. Sure, he had gotten the upper hand against the pig, but that was through more lying and backstabbing. He even destroyed an entire compound along with that rock that could have been used as some sort of power source. Maybe he should’ve fallen deep into that crater, after all, so he couldn’t bother anyone with his pessimism, venomous words, and horrible personality any longer. He really shouldn’t be here. Maybe… Maybe he could—
“Snake… Snake..! Buddy, please listen to me. You’re panicking, but it’s going to be fine. Calm down, okay? Please, I need you to breathe with me, alright? In. Out. In. Out. In. Out. Yeah, just like that, sweetheart. You’re doing good. Doing great. Keep going, I’m gonna be right here. That’s it. You feeling better, Snakey?”
Snake nodded into the warm chest he was pulled into. Wolf was caressing the back of his head with one paw as the other ran up and down Snake’s body. He leaned into the warmth his friend was providing as a sob of relief pushed through his throat. Wolf was here yet again picking up Snake’s broken pieces and holding him tightly together, as if he was sand within Wolf’s grasp.
“What did I do to deserve you..? I’m not good enough.” Snake whispered against Wolf’s neck, voice hoarse and cracking. “Why do you care about me so much? Why..?”
Wolf was silent for a while, Snake began to regret asking such a demanding question, but before he could begin to try and take back what he said, Wolf answered.
“Because you’re you, Snake. You’re my best friend. You’re the guy who listened to some random wolf fantasize about his dreams of being the world’s greatest criminal, you’re the guy who stuck by me through thick and thin. From our very first heist to the last, you always had my back and I always had yours. No matter what the world threw at us, I was able to keep standing because you were by my side. And when you said you hated us the least, that meant so much to me ‘cause I know what you’ve been through. You trusted me enough to tell me what you’ve been through, and you trusted me enough to give up crimes and your own freedom to take a chance at being good. You are good enough, they’ll know that I know that, and you’re going to know that. Snake, I care about you because I love you, god, Snake, I love you so much.”
Tears were flowing freely from Wolf’s eyes, beautiful ambers twinkling with something new that Snake has never seen before. And he must have been crying too if the wetness on his cheeks was anything to go by. Snake couldn’t find the words to say, talking and charming had always been Wolf’s forte, so he let his actions speak for him. Snake surged forward and caught Wolf’s lips in his own, with Wolf easily returning the kiss, so warm and soft that sent shivers through Snake’s entire body.
Snake’s own self-doubts had always held him back from going after things that were out of his league, those that were too good for him. He knew he wasn’t perfect, no one is, but somehow Wolf was and for some reason, he was in the arms of such a perfect man who had shown multiple times that he accepted Snake for who he was. And maybe, just maybe, he was beginning to understand why.
…
Snake’s eyes fluttered open as warm sunlight bled through the room’s windows, warming his scales and making him nuzzle back into the bedsheets. His gaze drifted from the cityscape outside to the digital clock perched on the nightstand. 9:42 AM. He must’ve been up late last night to wake up at a time like this. With a content sigh, his eyelids began to grow heavy again, and just as the clutches of sleep began taking him away, his musings from last night came back to him.
Snake perked up, suddenly awake as a myriad of realizations came to him. With the same, if not more, vigor he has whenever guinea pigs were involved, he slithered out of his and Wolf’s shared bedroom and towards the living room. The rest of the gang was there, eating breakfast and watching television.
“Wow, someone’s in a good mood this morning.” Webs piped up from her perch on Shark’s shoulder.
And Snake was, evident by how his tail was wagging. How could he not be? He’d finally figured out an answer to Wolf’s question.
“Yeah, yeah. I need to talk to Wolf, you guys know where he is?”
“Oh, he’s outside,” Piranha said, not taking his eyes off the Spanish telenovela they were watching.
“Too early for fooling around but use protection!” Of course, Webs just had to have one last comment in, and besides, it was never too early for that. Not like it was involved yet, Snake had more important matters to discuss.
Snake found Wolf lounging on a beach chair Piranha had set up when they first moved here. His boyfriend was soaking in the morning sunlight with a peaceful expression on his face, ears flicking momentarily when Snake made his way over.
“Good morning, sweetheart.”
“Morning, Wolf. Listen, about last night…”
Wolf’s eyes slowly opened and Snake swore he was getting sappier by the day because not even the shiniest jewels could compare to those beautiful yellows of Wolf’s.
“Mm?”
“Right, I, uh… I think I have an answer. Wolf, I love you because—” You took me in when everyone else didn’t want to. You pestered me to open up because you thought I was interesting. You stayed close even when I tried to push you away. You smiled through every harsh word I said to you. You gave me a real family when I was all alone in this world. You gave me a reason to keep going every day. You accepted me for who I am, imperfections and all. You really, truly, you… you— “you love me.”
Wolf’s smile at his answer was the biggest and most genuine Snake has ever seen, as if what he said was exactly the one Wolf was hoping to hear. And maybe, it was. The kiss that followed was the most passionate yet, and the message it conveyed was clear as day. That Snake was indeed good enough, and now he knows the reason why.