Archive of Our Own ^beta

The ropes they’d used to lash him to the center of the pyre were tied far too tight, not that it mattered. Merlin assumed he wasn’t meant to be comfortable, let alone breathe. This was his execution after all.

The fire hadn’t been lit yet so he could still clearly see Uther standing on the top of the steps. The king was glaring down at him, and for a moment Merlin nearly believed he deserved this fate. He’d released the dragon not three days before, and the damn beast had gone on a fire bending rampage through out Camelot.

The only thing that had eventually stopped the dragon had been a rather messy outpouring of Merlin’s magic. What he’d hoped would be a wall of invisible magic turned into a massive giant blue orb of light that pushed the dragon away. Using so much magic all at once had left Merlin weak and he’d been unable to fight off the guards. The cold iron manacles had gone on his wrists in an instant.

Now, as he stood with his hands still clamped in the one thing his magic hated, Merlin assumed he would die. Uther wasn’t going to relent, even if he’d saved most of the city. Some had lost their lives trying to fight the great beast, but Merlin had done what he could.

Looking around he tried to spot the one person he really wanted to see, at least to say goodbye to. However, Arthur had avoided him since his arrest. Finding out about his magic had apparently been too much for the prince. Fighting back tears he tried to think of the good memories he’d experienced. Nothing was going to save him, not even the dragon, he’d run it off. Life was simply a cruel series of events made to make Merlin suffer.

When one of Uther’s best knights began to make his way toward the pyre, burning torch in hand, Merlin began shaking. Praying he’d pass out from the smoke before the fire consumed everything; he involuntarily pulled at his bindings. Nothing budged; his ankles were secured along with thick ropes across his chest. The cold iron manacles were a reminder that he’d failed.

Unable to tear his gaze away from the approaching torch, Merlin cried out in desperation when the hay at the base of the pyre was lit. Oh gods, this was it. He could feel his magic fighting to get free, and the sensation hurt. Maybe his magic would take pity and kill him instead.

The crackling sound of kindling igniting dried wood was getting louder by the second. The smoke was thickening and Merlin’s ability to breathe was becoming even harder. Almost forgetting the intense heat that went with a fire of this size, Merlin began to feel his skin prickling. He was screaming now, there was nothing left to do. No coherent thought was manifesting in his brain.

Suddenly the world around him became very loud, drowning out the blazing fire at his feet. Unable to see anything but a wall of thick black smoke, Merlin thought he saw people running, but nothing was clear. Then what looked like a horse raced past, and in a flash half the fire was gone. Struggling to see better, he realized the bottom of the pyre had been broken apart. Something had torn the base away on one side.

The sound of more screams, ones independent of his own, were making it far too overwhelming to process what was going on. Coughing roughly Merlin missed the figure that had leapt up onto the top of the platform with him. Looking up he yelled and tried to get away. The mystery man was covered from head to toe, hiding his identity, and had a dagger raised for action. Shaking his head in a silent plea for his life Merlin clenched his eye’s closed when the figure darted behind. Unable to see what the man was doing he started sobbing when the ropes binding his chest fell away. Adrenaline rushed through his veins but it wasn’t enough to fight gravity. The moment he was lose Merlin’s knees buckled. With his feet still bound he lurched forward, and almost went over the edge of the platform.

However, the world simply tilted upside down. He’d been hefted over the man’s shoulder like a bloody sack of potatoes. Scrabbling to find purchase Merlin could only shout in surprise when his rescuer leapt off the platform. The biting pain of a hard landing on what could only be a horse sent stars shooting across his vision.

Unable to hold onto anything Merlin cried out in a panic when he was repositioned across the riders lap. The walls of Camelot were whizzing by at an alarming rate, but it still didn’t register what had just occurred. The fire was behind him, he wasn’t burning alive, but what the hell was happening now?

The sound of more horses made Merlin look around for the source. Another rider similarly dressed to his rescuer was galloping full tilt with them.  Peering up into the face of the masked man who’d dared the fire, Merlin recognized two striking blue eyes. Without thinking he lifted his arms and threw them around Arthur’s neck. The manacles made it hard to hold on like he really wanted, but it didn’t matter he would get to say his goodbyes now.

The tears came back full force, or maybe they hadn’t stopped at all. Overcome with emotion Merlin let himself sob into Arthur’s shoulder.

With his head lowered, Merlin had no idea how much time had passed before he felt the horse slow down. Looking up he nearly panicked all over again when Arthur roughly lifted his arms over his head.

“Calm down, I’m unlocking the cuffs; we still have a ways to go.”

“Wha – Arthur – I,” Merlin couldn’t think straight.

“Shhh, we don’t have much time,” Arthur replied as he fished out a key from his coat. “Lancelot, untie his feet would you?”

The second rider appeared with a knife and quickly freed the last bit of rope. Lancelot, if it really was him didn’t utter a word; he simply gave Merlin’s calf a squeeze and hurried to get back on his horse.

“Hold still, it’s hard to see with this thing on my head,” Arthur commanded as he inserted the key into the lock.

Merlin in hindsight should have thought to warn them about what would happen when his magic was released, but how would they have known. The force of his very life blood flowing back into his body made him convulse violently. Arthur’s strong arms around him were the only thing that kept him from tumbling off onto the forest floor.

“Merlin, are you alright?!” Arthur exclaimed.

Groaning in response Merlin tried to lift his head but it didn’t work, his energy was spent. Arthur seemed to understand and drew him closer while shoving his leg over the head of the horse to sit properly. The new position allowed him to fully relax without any hard bits from the saddle poking into his back.

“Wh’re we goin’?” he slurred as Arthur wrapped an arm tightly around his waist and spurred the horse forward.

“Someplace that’s far, far away from here,” Arthur huffed as they rode.

The next few hours were fuzzy at best, Merlin was sure he’d passed out and woken up at least three times already. He wanted to rest but his magic was on high alert and wouldn’t let him fully shut down. It didn’t help that none of them were saying anything, no small talk, no yelling, nothing.

They rode the remainder of the day and well into the night. Somewhere along the way their horses had been swapped out, did that mean the rescue had been planned and wasn’t spontaneous?

Finally, when Merlin thought he’d simply like to curl up and never wake up again, Arthur halted the horses and declared they were making camp. Before he could make a fuss Arthur had pulled him from the horse, and gathered him up in his arms like a maid. Too tired to be embarrassed about it he let Arthur carry him.

“We can’t stay here for long, but you need to rest.”

“I can help with my magic,” Merlin replied as Arthur gently laid him down on a bed roll. Lancelot must have been unpacking things when he wasn’t paying attention.

“No! You need to sleep, no magic right now,” Arthur chided.

“I don’t need to be awake – have to keep you both safe – s’only fair,” he mumbled halfway to passing out. Casting a protection spell over their little campsite was his final act before he let sleep take him. Arthur may or may not have been talking to him, but it was too late as the world faded out.

--

Wakefulness came suddenly and without any warning as Merlin struggled to get his bearings. The world came into focus soon after, and what he saw nearly stopped his heart. Morgause was standing there glaring at him, from just outside his protection spell. Looking around in a panic Merlin saw Arthur and Lancelot were unharmed, though they had their swords drawn.

“What do you want?” Merlin asked warily, still sitting on the ground.

“You – you meddling low life – you have magic?!” She seethed, throwing a small spell at his barrier to see it bounce back. “How could you betray her? You were like us, and this whole time you hid like a coward,” she continued bitterly.

“Oh, like you didn’t betray her first by using Morgana as the vessel for the spell?!” he shouted angrily. “What choice did I have?! I would have given my life instead, but the spell wouldn’t have been broken!” All of the years of having to hide his magic, and pent up anger at nearly being burnt alive came crashing down at once. Merlin was done.

“You tried to murder her,” Morgause replied instead, ignoring his accusation.

“I live to protect Arthur; you should have thought of that when you set your plan in motion.”

“Don’t spin this on me peasant, you may have magic, but you can’t possibly understand my true powers,” she spit out coming to stand closer to the edge of his protection barrier.

Merlin didn’t want to get bullied anymore; life wasn’t worth this kind of punishment. Scrambling to stand on still shaky legs, he released his magic and let it envelope the area. Morgause looked slightly alarmed; maybe she finally felt his raw power.

“I may be a peasant, but that isn’t what you should be focused on,” Merlin hissed. “The druids call me Emrys, and it’s my destiny to help Arthur unite all the lands of Albion, and bring magic back.”

Morgause didn’t even bother with a retort to his statement; she simply threw her hand out and sent a ball of fire out at them. Her outburst of power was sufficient to break his barrier, but his magic reacted without pause, absorbing the burning pillar of death with ease.

“I won’t let anyone else get hurt, I’ve made enough mistakes already,” he admitted holding his hand up ready for her next attack.

“You seriously think you can defeat me?”

“I killed Nimueh, why would you be any different,” he offered with only a hint of remorse.  

A little spark of something indefinable flashed across her face but she didn’t bite. “I don’t care who you claim to be Merlin, you condemned Morgana to death, and for that you’ll pay with your life.”

Merlin lost control of his faculties after that, he hadn’t wanted to hurt Morgana, but there had been no other way. He couldn’t let Arthur die; it had been his only option at the time. Standing there listening to Morgause talk to him like he was a simpleton made his blood boil. Living under Uther’s rule wasn’t easy, but seeing how things were unfolding now made Merlin realize nothing was ever going to get better, unless he changed.

He would not back down, not ever again.

His magic must have understood his desires because the most magnificent storm conjured itself out of thin air. Dimly aware of the trees whipping about and Arthur’s shouts behind him, Merlin called out to his magic. It answered with a dangerous mix of lightening and booming thunder. If there was rain, he didn’t notice.  The focus of his attentions solely on Morgause and her murderous gaze, she meant to kill him, but he wasn’t going to fall that easily.

Screaming at the top of lungs Merlin let all of his rage and anger out. The lashing winds and loud thunder faded to the background as he honed his magic for an attack. Part of him knew killing Morgause would push Morgana further away, but what other option did he have? She couldn’t continue with her plans.

However, his magic tugged at his mind, it wanted Morgause’s power. Without hesitation he unleashed it and took back what she’d been abusing. She’d still be a threat, but one with much less power, if he took her magic away. Morgana would be angry, but she might forgive him this action. It was a small step toward retribution but he had to try. Defeating Nimueh had nearly cost him his life, this time he wasn’t holding back.

Morgause’s scream of desperation drew him back to the present; she knew what he was doing. Which was surprising since he was simply letting his magic be truly free, and had no spell to utter or set of rules to follow. The raw outpouring of power was enough to overwhelm Morgause and then Merlin felt an opening, a crack in her defenses. That’s all it took for him to reach inside her own well of magic and take it back, to offer it back to the earth, where it belonged.

In a matter of seconds it was done, the storm had disappeared along with her ability to hurt others with magic. They both locked eyes before collapsing onto the forest floor. Arthur’s shouting renewed at that but Merlin knew they were safe so he let the darkness take him once more. Hopefully, Arthur wouldn’t kill Morgause while he was passed out, that would complicate things terribly.

--

Muted but fervent shouting woke him this time. However, Merlin had no energy to talk let alone move. Blinking his eyes open he became very confused, he was lying on a cot, inside. The canopy of trees he’d passed out to had been replaced by some sort of dwelling, a cottage perhaps. Despite knowing he couldn’t, Merlin attempted to sit up. His head moved barely an inch before he gave up and sighed in defeat.

Taking a deep breath he focused on listening to the conversation happening in the nearby room. The closed door between the spaces offered only a modicum of privacy, Merlin could hear well enough to know things were intense.

“We’ve been over this already, that’s not what he said!” Arthur answered to some unknown question.

“I don’t care, I don’t believe you,” a woman answered, but Merlin could swear it was Morgana. Had Arthur followed Morgause’s tracks back to this place?

“I know you’re upset, but will you tell her?”

“He can rot for all I care,” Morgause stated.

“Oh, so you’d rather be dead then, should I go wake him and have him finish the bloody job?!” Arthur fumed. He had to have been very angry to let his temper out like that. Merlin wished he could help but he wasn’t sure he the energy to even call out. Using that much magic had turned him into a puddle of goo.

“How dare you! He couldn’t if he tried he’s no--.”

“What? Powerful enough?” Arthur interrupted. “He looked pretty damn powerful calling lightening from the sky and sucking your magic away like it was child’s play.”

“He had no right to do that!” Morgause screamed in response.

“Are you thick?” Arthur asked and Merlin couldn’t help the smile that broke across his face. “You threatened him with death, I was there I heard you quiet clearly.”

“He tried to kill my sister,” she countered.

“My god, do you ever stop repeating yourself! You used my sister as the key to your spell, so the only way to break it was her death! That sounds very unkind to me.”

“She wouldn’t have done that, Merlin simply wanted me dead,” Morgana offered, though much more calmly than before.

“So nothing we can say will make you believe us? This is it? I find out four days ago my servant is a sorcerer after he repels a dragon the size of a house, with the biggest display of magic I had ever seen, not counting today’s demonstration,” he said hurriedly.  “And then, today, I find out my sister has magic and didn’t bother to confide in me! Not to mention Merlin is apparently some prophesied sorcerer meant to help me become king, and bring magic back to the lands. You can imagine my shock at all of this, so why in the bloody hell would I lie about Morgause?!” Arthur shouted.

“Wait, you didn’t know Merlin’s destiny before you saved him from the pyre?” Morgana asked hesitantly.

“No, I only knew he’d saved most of the city from a fire breathing angry dragon and that he didn’t deserve to die.”

“When did you find out about the rest?” she asked.

“Today, when he decided to scare the pants off of Morgause by telling her he was Emrys.”

“I wasn’t scared!” Morgause snapped.

A brief pause concerned Merlin, had they finished? Were they really going to leave things broken like this?

“You’d tell me the truth wouldn’t you?” Morgana asked after a moment.

Merlin thought she was asking Arthur until Morgause responded. “You’re special, and I needed someone with powerful magic like you to complete the spell. I knew the knights of Medhir wouldn’t hurt you, but Merlin figured it out and ruined everything.”

“You call saving lives, ruining things?” Arthur asked angrily.

“Uther’s reign of terror has brought down many innocents over the past twenty years; it was a small price to pay all things considered.”

“You won’t stop will you? Not until he’s dead and Camelot has fallen.”

“What other option do I have?” Morgause stated plainly. “I must continue to fight until my dying breath. The atrocities Uther has committed cannot go unpunished.”

“How do you plan on doing that since your magic is gone?”

“Morgana is powerful, we’ve not lost yet, and maybe Merlin took away my magic for now, it doesn’t mean I can’t get it back, I can still fight.”

“What do you want more? Magic to be free again or Uther dead?”  Arthur asked suddenly.

A suffocating silence fell for a second time, and Merlin couldn’t help but wait with baited breath for the answer.

This time Morgana broke the quiet, “I don’t want to live in fear, but I know Uther won’t change his ways.”

“Killing doesn’t always have to be the answer,” Arthur offered softly.

“Morgause, I know you seek vengeance for the wrongs he’s done but Arthur’s right, we could consider other options,” said Morgana.

“Morgana is the rightful heir, not you,” Morgause huffed after a beat.

“Nothing will make you happy will it? We could band together and free Camelot from Uther’s hate and you simply want to destroy all that surrounds you,” Arthur lamented.

“That’s not true!”

“Isn’t it?” Arthur sighed. “Will you answer me this at least? Was the vision of my mother real? Merlin accused you of trickery, but I see now he was most likely trying to spare me from murdering my own father.”

“That was genuine; my motives were to incite your anger which Merlin figured out. He’s good at looking out for you,” Morgause admitted.

Arthur didn’t sound angry at the admission but Merlin knew they’d have to talk about lots of things later. He’d lied to his friend for years and that had consequences.

“Are we done for now? I’d like to go check on him,” A new voice asked, Lancelot.

“That’s not up to me, I’ve had opportunity to kill you already but I didn’t, and I don’t wish any harm to Morgana. So that depends on you,” Arthur answered. Merlin assumed he was asking Morgause.

“I’m angry, but I’ll abide by this truce for now,” she answered.  

“Will you seek revenge on Merlin for what he did?” Lancelot asked out of the blue, though it wasn’t clear whether he was speaking to Morgause or Morgana.

“I – he hurt me – he was my friend and he betrayed me – I don’t know Lancelot,” Morgana replied honestly.

Hearing the words hurt far more than Merlin imagined they would. He never wanted to make Morgana feel that way. The door opened a moment later and Merlin found himself closing his eyes and feigning sleep. Gods, he was a coward.

Footsteps shuffled closer and he felt a hand on his chest. The touch didn’t stay for long and moved to his neck next.

“He’s still breathing,” Lancelot announced.

“I guess he’s still passed out.” Arthur stated glumly.

“Yea--.”

“No, he’s awake, I can sense his magic, it’s agitated,” Morgana offered quickly, cutting off Lancelot.

“Merls, hey, come on, we only want to see if you’re alright,” Lancelot pleaded as he gently shook his shoulder.

Forced to look up at Lancelot, he couldn’t stop the tears that started flowing, gone were the wracking sobs from when Arthur rescued him. This was near silent and Merlin could only feel the pressure behind his eyes as he worked to control himself.

“It’s okay, don’t – ahh Merlin --” Lancelot trailed off clearly unsure of how to help. 

“Feeling bad about what you’ve done?” Morgana asked from her seat in the next room. She sounded so devoid of emotion, it was chilling.

What the hell was he supposed to say? That he’d take it all back if he could? That it wasn’t Arthur’s time to die and he didn’t know what else to do? Instead of coming up with anything coherent to say he struggled to lift his arms and covered his face. Perhaps his destiny was a lie, maybe he wasn’t meant to help Arthur at all. So far all he’d done was hurt those he loved.

“Arthur, you need to talk to him,” Lancelot announced before standing and stepping away.

The sound of footsteps carried on until a gentle touch to his head indicated Arthur had arrived. Moving his arms slightly he peaked out at the prince, and sighed in relief when he saw concern on Arthur’s brow instead of hate. “Can – can you – I need to – will Morgana talk to me?” he asked shakily.

“Let me ask her, do you want me to stay if she says yes?”

Merlin nodded and stared at the ceiling as Arthur left the little room. The sound of quiet murmurings caught his ears but he couldn’t tell what was being said. A startled gasp and a soft smacking noise preceded Arthur’s return. Turning his head Merlin felt his heart break all over again. Morgana hadn’t been strong enough to walk so Arthur had carried her. She must have hit him for the action, though Arthur didn’t look hurt anywhere.

Merlin knew this was his fault, and the very sight of Morgana still hurting from what he’d done was too much. Even his magic wanted to sooth her discomfort, based off how it was fighting to be set free. “M’so sorry,” was all he uttered before reaching out and letting his magic work. Having never been great at healing spells in the past, Merlin was surprised when his magic simply did his bidding without any specific direction.

For the first time, he was able to sense the tendrils of his magic seek out what had been damaged, and gently bring healing. Wondering how he’d managed to find the energy, he realized it wasn’t him really, it was his magic. His exhausted body had nothing to do with his abilities; if anything his aching limbs simply highlighted the disparity.

“What just happened?!” Arthur exclaimed stepping back holding Morgana even tighter.

Letting his arm drop Merlin couldn’t even find the energy to talk. If the dancing black spots across his vision were any indication, he would be slipping back into unconsciousness very soon. Managing to look up at the siblings he tried to gauge if he’d helped or not. He had to know before he passed out.

Morgana wasn’t saying anything; she simply kept staring at him with her mouth open.

“Did he hurt you?” Arthur asked worriedly.

“No – no he – he healed me,” she whispered.

“Merlin, don’t go back to sleep yet you idiot!” Arthur admonished as he stepped back toward the cot and gently placed Morgana on a nearby chair.

“Hv’ta fssix wha I ruin’d” he slurred trying desperately to shake off his exhaustion. 

“You ruined more than my health Merlin,” Morgana replied softly.

“M’sorry, m’so sorry, I didn’t know what else to do.”

Arthur had moved to sit on the floor and was resting his hand on Merlin’s arm; the touch was calming and helped him feel a little better. He really didn’t want to pass out just yet; he wanted to talk with Morgana.

“Is it true, what Arthur claimed you said in the woods, that you would have sacrificed yourself if you could have?”  

“I’ve made so many mistakes Morgana, and poisoning you wasn’t even the worst of them,” he lamented quietly. Morgana made a noise, but he continued before she spoke. “I’ve lost so many friends because I made the wrong choices; I even released the great dragon.” The grip on his arm got tighter at that admission. “I tried to sacrifice myself to save Arthur from the questing beast’s bite, but Nimueh and I got into a fight and she died instead. How does one come back from so many tragic missteps? I’m tired Morgana, I can’t hide anymore. So, yes, it was true, if I could have saved Arthur without taking someone else’s life I would have given mine.”

“You ran away from me when I cried out, when one of the knights went to strike me down.”

“I did, I can’t change how I acted Morgana. I was scared and just beginning to understand your role in the knight’s enchantment. It was cowardly of me to try and push my guilt away by letting another strike you down.”

“Except it didn’t hurt me and you had to go back to your original plan.” 

Merlin hummed and let out a big breath, he felt like such an arse. He’d gone and broken something else in his life, he was a menace.

“How did you figure it out?” Morgana asked, “That I was the key to breaking the spell.”

Merlin let out a humorless laugh, “I asked the dragon, and he told me.”

“The one that tried to burn all of Camelot when you released it?” Arthur asked breaking his silence for the first time.

He nodded and let his eyes slip closed. This earned him a light slap to the face. Wincing he squinted at Arthur and whined quietly.

“I know you’re tired but I don’t think this conversation is over.”

“Wha’s done is done, I’m a traitor to my kind. I’ll leave once I’m strong enough. You’ll never have to see me again,” Merlin sighed.

“Merlin, don’t be stupid!” Morgana chided with more force than Merlin expected. “What do you really want? Peace? Do you want Uther’s reign of terror to be over? What?!” she asked vehemently.

“I want Arthur to become the king he’s destined to be, I want magic to be legal and free in all the lands, and I want to live without fear.” 

“Then don’t tell me you’re going off to be a martyr, stay and be part of a greater movement to bring magic back.”

“He can start by giving mine back!” Morgause shouted from the other room.

“She’s too dangerous, I can’t,” Merlin whined.

“So you are like Uther then, the judge, jury, and executioner?” Morgana asked.

“No, I’m weak. I should have killed her.”

“Like you could, peasant boy,” Morgause added loudly.

“Why didn’t you?” Morgana asked leaning forward in her seat.

“I couldn’t do that to you, you’d just found your sister and I couldn’t do it. You deserved better.”

“Merlin, I so desperately want to hate you but you need to stop doing and saying things like that,” Morgana scolded.

“I’m still sorry it came to this, and I feel awful for hurting you. I’m not asking for forgiveness that wouldn’t be fair all things considered, but I don’t want anyone else to go through what I experienced on that pyre. I’m done hiding. With or with you I want to bring magic back, and help Arthur become king, if he’ll let me?” Merlin asked looking to his friend for any kind of reaction.

“Merlin what have I told you about acting like an idiot. Of course I want your help. I’d love to have both of you help me, but things are at a fragile point and I understand that we might need some time to think.”  

“I know I need more time, I wasn’t expecting to see either of you for a long, long time,” Morgana admitted.

“Merlin and I need to have a long talk, but it can wait until he’s not about to pass out,” Arthur added shaking Merlin’s arm.

“Are we allowed to stay here? Is Morgause going to try and gut me in my sleep?” Merlin found himself asking.

“I’ll hold off, only because I need your magic peasant!” Morgause yelled back.

“What about you? Are you alright with us staying here?” Arthur asked Morgana.

She nodded, “You all need a proper rest and food. I have no reason to fight right now, you saved a sorcerer and Uther won’t forgive that. I’ll allow you to stay.”

The prospect of getting to rest without the threat of death hanging overhead was such a relief. Maybe his magic would calm down and let him finally sleep for more than a few hours.

The blissful sleep Merlin wished for was warded off for a little longer as Arthur and Lancelot made him eat. Claiming he wasn’t hungry even earned him a glare from Morgana who’d handed off the food. Maybe she’d poisoned it, but it did smell good.

After nearly inhaling a warm, hearty meal, Merlin tried once again to rest. This time he was stopped because he needed to change clothes. Lancelot had tentatively mentioned something about still smelling smoke on him and Merlin’s heart rate spiked. Changing and washing up, with help, went by fast enough. Finally, when he felt like he couldn’t bear to be awake any longer he was tucked back into the cot and told he could sleep.

Without any other interruptions Merlin slipped into a deep, dreamless slumber.

--

When Merlin woke next, it wasn’t to shouting or being manhandled on a horse. He simply opened his eyes to quiet. Well, it was mostly quiet if he didn’t count the soft snores he heard from across the room. Sitting up slowly he was happy to see Lancelot asleep. That left the unasked question of whether or not Arthur had bothered to rest or not. Deciding he had enough energy to go check, Merlin stood and shuffled to the door.

Expecting everyone to still be in the main room, he was left a little dumbstruck when Morgause seemed to be the only person remaining in the small cottage. There was no chance to slip back into the smaller room unnoticed. She was sitting at the fire looking at him with a blank expression. However, she must have sensed his inner turmoil and broke the silence.

“I won’t do anything rash, come, and sit by the fire.”

“Do I have to?” he asked without thinking. Gods, he sounded like a child.

“No, but I’m bored, and someone took my magic away, so why not?”

“I personally didn’t take it; I channeled it back into nature. Sorry, I didn’t feel right killing Morgana’s only sister,” he replied dryly.

Morgause merely rolled her eyes and looked away. Deciding it wasn’t worth the headache Merlin started to go back when she sighed and waved a hand toward a nearby chair. Figuring he wouldn’t get more than that he traipsed over and sat down. Wanting to know where Morgana and Arthur were, being his sole motivation for joining the other woman at this point.

“Wher--.”

“Out taking a walk, you healed Morgana the rest of the way remember, she’s able to get around again.”

“I wasn’t going to ask where they were,” Merlin griped.

“Liar.”

“I can go back to the other room, this is weird anyway, you tried to kill everyone in Camelot just last week.”

“I wasn’t after total annihilation Merlin, I only wanted Uther dead, but he does command his own army of knights.”

“And you couldn’t find enough magic users to join your cause that you had to raise the knights of Medhir to do it instead? You must be a really terrible leader.”

“Well, it almost worked but you messed it all up!” She spit out.

“Can we not get into this again? You used Morgana and I almost killed her, we are both rotten people.” 

Morgause merely hummed, apparently they agreed with that one assessment.

“Will you try again? To take Camelot?”

“Uther cannot be allowed to continue.”

“Does he have to die for you to be satisfied?” Merlin asked unsure he wanted to know what she really thought.

“It’s only fair after what he’s done.”

“If there is a way to remove him without taking that step will you let things lie?”

“What does it matter to you anyway?” Morgause huffed. “He did try and burn you alive, just last week,” she added sarcastically.

“Yeah, and it was the most terrified I’ve ever been in my whole fucking life you miserable bitch, but --,” he stopped and held his hand up when Morgause was ready to defend herself. “But – I don’t wish that punishment on anyone, I never did, and after having gone through it firsthand I can’t stand by and wait for Arthur to take the throne naturally. I should have done something sooner, I had the means I – I was too much of a coward to act.”

“You couldn’t even save yourself from the pyre!” Morgause hissed.

“I need to figure that out, they had me in cold iron, but I don’t think I tried hard enough to escape. I was too depressed to focus properly.”

Morgause paused and narrowed her eyes, “Wait, you felt guilty didn’t you? Arthur mentioned the dragon trying to burn everything and you managed to get it to stop but that’s how Uther realized what you were.”

“It wasn’t how I wanted to get found out, but it didn’t make any difference in the end. I got slapped into cold iron, and tossed in the dungeons. Arthur didn’t come to see me so I assumed he wasn’t going to forgive my lying or the magic.”

“So does that mean you think you can escape cold iron since you won’t be a blithering emotional mess?”

“I’m not going to test that theory anywhere near you if that’s what you’re getting at. I still don’t trust you, nor do I think I ever will.”

“Nice of you to come right out and say it Merlin, the feeling is mutual so don’t get all high and mighty about it.” 

Merlin groaned but decided it was best to remain quiet. Arthur would be back soon and he’d have a chance to talk with him about what their plans moving forward would be. Morgause didn’t say anything more, and went back to staring listlessly at the fire.

No more than a few minutes passed when Merlin felt his magic pull at something nearby. The feeling was familiar, and something he’d repressed over the years. However, this time he let his magic slip out to investigate. An overwhelming sense of courage and power came back. Wondering if that could mean Arthur was close by, he looked to the door and couldn’t help but smile when it opened and Arthur ushered Morgana inside. Arthur spied him first and the look of relief he adopted nearly made Merlin cry all over again.  

“Feeling better?” he asked while escorting Morgana to a nearby chair.

“Will you stop fussing?!” Morgana snipped as he finally let go. “You were there, you saw Merlin heal me yesterday.”

“I would if you’d stop stumbling,” he returned taking a seat opposite them.

“Heathen,” she grumbled.

Arthur merely sighed and looked over to Merlin before rolling his eyes. It all felt so normal, but soon enough the reminder that this was simply a memory of how things used to be nearly crushed his resolve.

“Are you feeling well enough to talk?” asked Arthur after a beat.

“Yeah,” he answered casting his gaze down to the floor.

“Good, because we can’t sit around in this cottage forever,” Arthur added.

“I don’t even want you here now,” Morgause offered with a scowl.

“But you need us?” Merlin wagered knowing full well it was his magic she was really after.

“Something like that, and since it seems we all desire the removal of Uther Pendragon from the throne this little arrangement will have to continue.”

Merlin suspected their arrangement, as Morgause called it, would have to go on for far longer than any of them wanted to admit. Coming up with a plan to take the throne from Uther wasn’t going to be made in a day.  They all had to work together and most importantly, not kill each other.

--

The well-worn, dusty crossroads to Camelot came into view, and Merlin felt his heart rate spike. It had been one month since he’d nearly been burned alive. However, time hadn’t passed sufficiently to ease his memory of the incident. Nor did it help that some of his present company weren’t entirely trustworthy. Lancelot had his back no matter what, and Arthur was still his friend even after everything that had transpired. It was mostly Morgause he was worried about. Morgana had remained stoic and reserved around Merlin and that meant he had no idea whose side she was really on.

Having to keep his magic on high alert was tiring but that was his life now. Vowing to never get caught off guard ever again Merlin had yet to rein his magic in. He had a constant protection spell enacted for Arthur and Lancelot. Morgana figured it out one day when she went to kick Arthur, and her foot deflected to the side after hitting thin air.

She’d only given him a funny look before walking away to do something else. Hopefully, she hadn’t figured out he’d done the same thing for her, what with Morgause having already used her for ill will, it didn’t make sense to leave Morgana unprotected.

Arthur surprisingly hadn’t tried to kill him after Merlin had a chance to tell him everything about the magic. If anything they’d gotten closer, clingier if that was possible. Merlin suspected Arthur knew he got anxious when they were apart. They’d been friends long enough to get a handle on each other’s moods, which was both a blessing and curse.

Now, as they all continued on the path toward Camelot, Merlin was well aware of Arthur’s trained gaze boring a hole in his skull. Damn Arthur and his penchant for noticing things when he wasn’t supposed to. Though, he was sharing a horse with the man so in Arthur’s defense he most likely picked up on the change in his posture.

Arthur didn’t even give him a chance to deny his feelings when he broke the silence a moment later. “Don’t tell me you’re fine, you’ve gone pale as a sheet Merlin,” he declared shoving Merlin’s shoulder lightly.

“I wouldn’t have said that, I wasn’t going to say anything at all.”

“Right, I highly doubt that,” Arthur offered as he leaned to the side to make eye contact. “We can turn back if you’re not ready.”

“We are not turning back!” Morgause fumed bringing her horse; actually it was his horse that she’d stolen, up next to them.  Morgana who was riding on the back didn’t offer her opinion on the matter. Her silence had been hard to deal with at first but Merlin understood her reasoning. It wasn’t like she felt safe with all of them together.

Arthur was the only person she’d talk to regularly. It was always in private and Arthur never saw fit to divulge much about their conversations. Merlin trusted that Arthur would tell him if something was important, and it was probably better if Arthur had nothing to report. It meant the topics were benign in nature. Merlin could only hope she’d eventually forgive him. It wasn’t something he was honestly expecting, but that didn’t stop him from wishing.

“I believe Merlin is the lynch pin in this attack of ours, so if he needs to turn back we will,” Lancelot supplied halting his steps and giving Morgause a look that could kill.

“It’s fine Lancelot, let her be,” Merlin sighed.

Lancelot hummed his acknowledgment but picked up on his plight as well. “Arthur’s right, you don’t look so great, do we need to take a break?”

“No, if anything you should take a break, you’ve been walking since we left the cottage.”

“Yeah, because you and Arthur need to conserve your energy, especially you,” he added with a pointed look.

“There is a creek up ahead, we can stop and I’ll trade with you,” Arthur offered easily. “We knew we’d have an issue with only two horses to travel with, but they won’t be going into battle so there was no need to acquire another.”

“You lot are too soft,” Morgause snapped. “Trained warriors my arse, look at you bickering over who gets a seat and whether the warlock is up to the task. Pathetic.”

Merlin had no time to react when Arthur swiftly dismounted and stalked over to Morgause, his hand on the hilt of his sword. “Your lack of sympathy only highlights why you’ll never succeed on your own. Showing concern for others around you isn’t a weakness, Morgause.”

“I’d be better off without you all! If that coward hadn’t taken my magic then you’d all be dead already!” she fumed.

“And we’ve been over this; you’d be dead if Merlin hadn’t simply taken your magic away.”

“Only way to find that out for sure is for the skinny little farm brat to give me back my magic.”

“I can’t!” Merlin shouted startling his horse and nearly making it bolt. “What don’t you get you daft woman?! I gave it back to nature; it’s gone, never to come back. You will never have magic again.”

Morgause pursed her lips and looked halfway ready to spur her horse into the woods away from them, but she simply held her tongue and glared daggers at him.

“We’re stopping up ahead to rest, those of you who wish to stay can do so, anyone else that wants to leave has my blessing,” Arthur ground out specifically glaring at Morgause before he stalked away.    

Silence descended on them after Arthur’s outburst. Merlin was fine with that; he didn’t need Morgause offering up her opinion on anything. It was strange enough to be working so closely with the enemy; she wasn’t there for anyone but herself. He wondered why Morgana didn’t see how single minded she was, but it didn’t matter. So long as he had his sights on Morgause she was controllable.

--

Standing in the middle of Camelot’s castle courtyard several hours later Merlin closed his eyes and let the gentle wind blowing by calm his racing heart. Everything else was eerily still and quiet. No other living thing stirred, he’d slowed down the rushing flow of time to a mere trickle. 

It had been previously agreed upon that they would attempt to negotiate when they arrived. It wouldn’t do those against magic any good to see them show up and attack straight away. Arthur and Morgana were going to attempt to talk with Uther and request his absolution.  Merlin knew that wouldn’t happen, but they had to make an effort. People needed to see Uther as a tyrant.

As predicted, Uther balked at the demands, and without any apparent remorse had called forth his knights to capture them all. This was when Merlin had let his magic run free, not for the purpose of causing harm, but to eradicate the hate. Morgause had laughed at his idea when Merlin had mentioned it one night at the cottage. He was certain he could use magic to diffuse the situation. People needed to understand that magic, by itself, could do no harm, it was merely a tool.

Chaos erupted when Uther ordered his knights to attack. Morgana in a fury, befitting her slightly tortured soul, had pushed to the front and threw out a blast of magic to knock the first wave of armed men away. There was no mistaking the act, the king saw it, he saw her eyes glow golden, he saw all that he fought against for the past twenty years right there in Morgana’s trembling frame.  

Merlin had only seconds to react when another knight had appeared armed with a crossbow. It wasn’t a face he knew but his intent was clear, to kill a witch. Protection spell or not Merlin was unwilling to risk anyone getting hurt. The decision to step in front of Morgana and release his magic had felt so natural. It was as easy as breathing.

Setting free a part of him that was so pure and powerful had the desired effect.

Merlin felt his magic neatly rearranging itself to carefully flow into all corners of the kingdom. The first wave of emotions hit him within moments. Fear, hatred, and self-doubt flooded his mind. None of it was founded in any reality. These were the vices of the citizens of Camelot, the ones Uther had planted so many years ago. His magic was showing him what he was battling.

Reaching past the deluge of thoughts Merlin allowed his magic to sooth. It wasn’t a spell, but more like blanket of comfort for those who needed it. Magic wasn’t evil it could never be. How better to show it’s true nature then to let the pure power of magic touch them all. Granted there would be stubborn minds, unwilling to let go but it had to help.

The second wave his magic sent back was much calmer, less fearful. This time Merlin could pinpoint several sources of unfathomable anger nearby. Opening his eyes once more they landed on Uther. The king was only ten meters away but his look of misery spoke volumes. He’d clearly not expected Morgana’s powers.

The other source of rage was behind him, of course it would be. Turning slowly he glanced at Morgause, sword unsheathed and heading straight for Arthur.

Morgause apparently sought to overthrow both father and son that day.

Taking a steading breath he carefully released his hold on Morgana, Arthur, and Lancelot. The three came back to life and fumbled awkwardly. Morgana immediately noticed the bolt, frozen in midair, heading straight for them and panicked. Throwing herself to the side she stumbled and nearly fell, Arthur’s quick thinking and faster feet prevented such an accident. His grip on her shoulders looked firm, and she soon caught her balance.  Lancelot was glancing around with wide eyes, clearly seeing time stop was a bit unnerving.

“What’s going on?” Arthur asked looking truly bewildered, breaking the stupor.

“Being me, just trying to help,” he smiled weakly. “I’m not sure how to ex--.”

“Gods, what was she try to do?!” Morgana interrupted looking back at her sister.

Arthur turned and went slightly pale, “I think she was attempting to run me through.”

“Would your protection spell have stopped her?” Morgana asked him quickly.

“I think so but I’m glad I didn’t have to test that theory.”

“What about the one you put on Morgana? That should have stopped the bolt right?” Arthur asked motioning at the offending item. “Though it looks an awful lot like you were standing in the way,” he mused.  

“Yes, but I didn’t want to take any chances.”

“Told you he had one on you,” Arthur huffed.

“I could sense it idiot, I have magic too.”

Arthur groaned but didn’t continue the verbal fight. “What’s next exactly? Do you have to stand here forever with everything stopped?”

“No, no, I think my magic is almost done,”

“What’s it doing again?” Arthur asked with a furrowed brow.

“Did you feel it earlier?”

“If you mean the overwhelming sense of calm, then, yes, I felt that.”

“Good then, maybe it helped some people find peace in their life.”

“I still don’t understand what you’re doing. How does using your magic to make everyone feel better help us win against Uther? Shouldn’t you be using to knock them out?”

Merlin couldn’t help but laugh at Arthur’s point of view. “I could have knocked them out but they’d wake up angry. I’m hoping my magic can provide a sense of relief from the hate and fear they all feel. Do you still want to fight?”

“Uh, no, not really,” Arthur admitted.

“What about you?” Merlin asked looking to Morgana.

“I don’t know how I feel Merlin,” she huffed. “You did something noble again, and now I’m confused.”

“I definitely feel less stressed, though I don’t know if that will last once you set time right,” Lancelot questioned.

“Erm, I’m not sure either, so get ready for possible terribleness.”

“Will you pass out like last time?” asked Arthur.

“Dunno, only one way to find out.” Without waiting for any of them to say more he gently pulled his magic back. The intense feelings from before were nearly gone. Praying to the goddess that his outpouring of magic had done something beneficial he felt time returning to normal.

The second things slipped into place properly, Merlin cast a spell to knock Morgause out. She had one brief moment where she made eye contact and tried to lash out with her sword. Both her and the weapon collapsed to the ground unceremoniously.

Lancelot hurried over and snatched the item, “No need to tempt fate, yeah?”

Nodding in approval Merlin took in the sight before him, the whole of Camelot was still quiet. Worried he’d messed something up; he realized that things were somewhat normal. Soldiers and knights were standing and exchanging confused glances with each other. In the thick of the calm stood Uther, his face still contorted in pain. The king didn’t seem enraged; he appeared lost if such a thing were possible.

A small sliver of anger threatened to take hold as he stood there staring at Uther, the man had tried to murder him. It would be so easy to strike a blow with his magic. However, he had let Morgause live so he owed the same courtesy to Uther. In reality it was Arthur who he wanted to spare; despite Uther being a cruel man Arthur still loved his father. Merlin couldn’t take him away, not like that. The cycle of hate would simply keep going.   

“Merls, you’re eyes, they haven’t stopped glowing,” Lancelot said with a raised eyebrow, “Are you still casting a spell?”

“Huh, oh yeah I guess, I think if I reeled my magic in completely I’d black out on the spot.”

“That’s brutally honest of you Merlin;” replied Arthur with a frown, “best not to do that until we get inside and you sitting down.”

“I can’t anyway, we’re not done here are we?” he pondered, already feeling his exhaustion seeping through.

“Not even close, but your spell or whatever you did changed the mood. We need to subdue Uther first and th--.”

Suddenly, a loud roar sounded from above cutting Arthur off and causing them all to look skyward. Merlin knew that guttural cry, it was the bloody dragon. He’d come back to finish the job! Feeling more like a horse on his last legs than the most powerful warlock to walk the earth, Merlin attempted to draw more of his magic to repeal an attack.

Readying for a ball of fire or a snarl of sharp teeth, Merlin was taken aback when the dragon simply swooped down and landed with a thud in the courtyard. Too engrossed in managing to get Lancelot, Arthur, and Morgana behind him Merlin failed to notice that the dragon had a rider.  

“You really need to leave!” Merlin shouted hoping to reason with the beast. The rest of his thoughts died on his tongue at the sight of the man perched atop the overgrown lizard.

“Is that the thanks I get for providing backup?” the dragon rumbled crossly ignoring Merlin’s gaping expression.

“Kilgharrah, leave the poor boy alone, he’s obviously not in the mood for your antics,” the mystery man offered, jumping down from the dragon’s neck.

“Humans!” he breathed, sending a little fit of smoke and flame outward but not hitting anything.

Distant screams and scrambling footsteps alerted Merlin to what was most likely going on behind him. The robust army of men Uther commanded was hopefully fleeing the scene. Not many were bold enough to engage in a fight with a dragon, especially one that already tried to burn half the town down nearly a month ago.

“We’ve got your back Merlin,” Lancelot whispered from behind him. “Most folks are hiding.”

“And the king?” Merlin hissed quietly.

“In shock and currently sitting in a heap on the ground, just handle the dragon for now.”

With both arms outstretched Merlin took a cautious step forward. “I’m in no mood to be trifled with, what business do you have with us stranger?” he asked, still in awe that this man had managed to get the dragon to follow orders.

“Ah, yes we’ve not been properly introduced.  My name is Balinor, and I’m the last dragonlord.”

Merlin’s head was swimming, who was this man? Did being a dragonlord mean he could control the great beast? His legs were starting to shake as he defended his position, there wasn’t much time left to talk before he collapsed. “What do you want?”

“As Kilgharrah said, we’ve come to help. We felt your outpouring of magic and came to lend aid.”

“Why help us?” Merlin demanded.

“This cantankerous beast was actually worried you’d been killed for defending Camelot from his attack, he sought me out to help determine your fate. We couldn’t find you until your display of magic just now,” Balinor replied. “It appears you are gifted with powerful abilities and one with a destiny as great as yours shouldn’t have to fight alone.”

“You know nothing of my plight! M’not alone!” Merlin nearly shouted. “I – I – m’not--,” stopping to catch his breath, Merlin realized the world was starting to spin. He’d run out of time. Letting go of his hold on the last remnants of his earlier spell, an overwhelming fatigue hit him like a stone wall. Breathing even felt difficult. Strong arms around his chest were the only indication his legs had ceased to function.

The next few minutes were a painful blur. Arthur’s face swam into view along with Lancelot and the newcomer Balinor. Closing his eyes earned him a somewhat gentle slap to the face, stupid Arthur needed to let him rest. Refusing to comply he remained still and hoped they’d all simply leave him be.

“Merlin, don’t pass out just yet!” Arthur ordered.

“Noooo,” he whined for good measure.

Arthur let loose a crazed laugh a second later, “Don’t scare me like that!” he admonished softly followed by, “We’re gonna get through this,” he murmured, closer this time. It was probably Arthur who was holding him, that would make sense, it wasn’t like Morgana could have caught him, he’d have just crushed her. 

The sounds of everyone chattering around him faded after a moment and the blissful sensation of sleep claimed his tired body.

--

A familiar scent greeted his senses when Merlin woke some time later. Slowly attempting to roll over he made it half way before his body stalled out and he flopped over onto his back again. He had to figure out what to do when magic completely drained his energy. How was it possible to have so much power, but his body simply stopped functioning when he used it?

Finally opening his eyes, Merlin understood why things felt so familiar. The bed he was in wasn’t his own but it was someplace he knew. Staring up at the canopy of Arthur’s bed he sighed in relief. Waking up in the dungeons had been a concern.

The room was dimly lit with a single candle, so it was hard to make out any real details aside from what was immediately close by. Peering into the dark Merlin realized he wasn’t alone. There was a figure curled up in a chair near to the bed. It was the last person he expected to be at his bedside but he wasn’t complaining.

Morgana appeared fast asleep amongst a pile of pillows and blankets, figures she’d make her vigil as comfortable as possible. Attempting to call out her name a second later highlighted one issue, his throat felt like sand. Trying to speak only sent him go into a coughing fit, which unwanted as it was, had the intended effect, Morgana woke up.

Gasping for breath he flinched slightly when a goblet was pressed to his lips. Only after he’d managed a few sips did Merlin notice her gentle touch behind his head.

“Can you sit up?” she asked once he stopped coughing.

“Dunno, I couldn’t roll over earlier so probably not.”

“I’ll help, you need to drink more and eat something,” she announced crowding into his space to wrap her arms around his middle to haul him upright.

Too distracted by the quasi hug Merlin hardly noticed when she’d completed the task. Morgana’s arms around him felt warm and strong, something he’d longed for but didn’t think he deserved.

“Merlin? Are you alright? Say something,” she ordered.

“I think I’m okay, how long was I out?” he asked tentatively.

 “Nearly three days, you can’t do that anymore, it’s stressful.”

“Wha? No, how am I still alive? No one can survive that long without fluids, what happened? Where’s Arthur? Did we win?” he rambled, already feeling faint again from the worry.

“Merlin, calm down, lots of things have happened, let me explain, but first you need to eat something,” Morgana pleaded holding his shoulders gently.

“But – what – Morgana,” he whined pitifully.

“Shhh, calm yourself,” she replied releasing her grip and patting his cheek before snatching a plate off the bed side table. “We won, Arthur is fine, now eat!” Morgana commanded.

The desire to question her further nearly disappeared when the plate of bread and cheese was thrust in face and placed on his lap. Gods, he was so hungry. Morgana must have read his mind because she physically had to hold his hands to keep him from inhaling all of it one go.

“Slowly, remember what your mentor taught you, Gaius warned you could throw it all up if you ate too fast.”

Nodding at the advice he carefully picked at the food and nearly cried at how good it all tasted. Morgana stayed close the whole time he ate, holding out the goblet of water for him to drink from when she deemed it appropriate.

“Sorry for being so silly about this, it all tastes so good,” he murmured in between bites.

“I can only imagine, we’ve been force feeding you broth for two days, you needed something heartier.”

“I might pass out again after I finish eating, can you tell me what I missed?”

“We need to work on that; by the way, no one as powerful as you should have to deal with fatigue. It’s ridiculous.”

“I know,” he groused, “it’s not something I’m fond of either, but what happened exactly?” he pleaded, hoping his face showed his desperation.

Thankfully, Morgana took pity on him, “Would you like the abridged version, or something long and digestible?”

“Erm, short, if you think I can handle it?”

“Only one way to find out,” she quipped, leaning back to get comfortable. “Don’t choke, otherwise Arthur will murder me.”

“Oh, um, you’d save me right?” he asked without thinking.

“I would now, you self-sacrificing idiot. I’m still mad at you for the poisoning thing, but you keep being nice and it makes it hard to hurt you when you’re like that.”

“Sorry,” he offered sheepishly.

“Keep it up and I may forgive you yet,” she sighed. “So, here goes, we won, Arthur is safe, your little ‘magic makes you feel good’ spell worked a--.”

“It didn’t feel little when I did it,” Merlin interrupted tiredly.

“I’m teasing you, catch up,” Morgana shot back. “Right after you’d passed out; Arthur went and demanded Uther give up the throne.”

“Did he?!”

“No, but he barely put up a fight when Arthur personally escorted him to his rooms.”

“Did anyone try and fight back? Uther must have shouted for them.”

“That’s where your funny little spell came into play, he did try to insight some violence, but no one listened, they all stood there and watched as he was led away.”

“Is anyone contesting Arthur’s right to the throne?”

“A handful of simple minded fools but no one noteworthy, it did help that the giant fire breathing dragon was hovering over us all like a protective hen. I don’t think he was very happy when Lord Balinor wouldn’t allow him to roast Uther alive.”

“Oh that’s right, the dragonlord. Is he still here?”

“He’s with Arthur, we all agreed that at least one person with magic should be with him at all times.”

At the mention of magical abilities Merlin’s mind went to Morgause. The last he’d seen she was not a threat but that didn’t mean she hadn’t talked her way out of capture once she’d regained consciousness. “What about your sister, is she --,” he trailed off not knowing what to ask.

“She’s currently locked up in one of the guest quarters under heavy guard. She and Uther are in the same wing actually.”

“Was she mad when she woke up?”

“I’ve no idea Merlin, I haven’t spoken with her yet, I’m not sure I want to right now.”

“Well, all of that isn’t so bad, you had me worried earlier,” Merlin admonished. He could go back to sleep now without the fear of something terrible happening.

“Oh, I wasn’t done, Lord Balinor is your father, and Arthur sent Sir Tristan off to fetch your mother, and if I’m not mistaken she should hopefully be arriving very soon, the sun only set a little while ago.”

He must have gone sickly looking the moment Morgana stopped talking because she’d rushed forward to shake him gently.

“I thought you might have had an inclining about Balinor, he could speak with the dragon just like you. Oh no, I didn’t mean to make you ill.”

“M’not ill,” he whispered, “faint maybe, but not – not ill.”

“Here drink something, please don’t pass out. Arthur’s up next to sit with you, and if he finds out I gave you a fright I’ll never hear the end of it.”

“What do you mean’s Arthur’s next? He’s been sitting with me?”

“You can be quite obtuse at times; we’ve all been sitting with you. Lancelot, Balinor, Arthur, myself, Gwen, Leon, Gaius,” Morgana rattled off counting people with her fingers. “That damned dragon even offered to keep watch through the window. It’s been a strange few days Merlin.”

“I see,” he mumbled weakly. Attempting to dry his now clammy hands on his tunic, Merlin came to another realization. “This is Arthur’s night shirt,” he announced out loud like it would answer him as to why.

“You are in his room, and he and Lancelot did get you settled in after you’d passed out. It only makes sense he’d have grabbed some of his own clothing.”

“But why am I not in my room?”

Morgana gave him a look that meant he’d missed something again. “I thought you knew Arthur better. He was very adamant that you be here close to us all. Lancelot is sleeping in the antechamber; I’ve moved in across the hall, I think Arthur naps next to you when he thinks we won’t notice. Balinor is in a quest suite next door. We are all staying close in case we need to handle any attempt at taking back Uther’s crown.”

Merlin felt his eyes going wide, “did Arthur have Geoffrey swear him in?!”

No, but Arthur will now that you’re awake, he didn’t want you to miss the moment.”

“Um, about Balinor, about my fa -- father, what did he say when you all asked him about me? Did he – was he --,” Merlin couldn’t finish his thoughts, what if his father had known about him all this time but hadn’t bothered to reach out.

“No, no, he didn’t know, Gaius told us,” Morgana corrected. “He actually went deathly pale when Gaius informed us all.”

“I wonder if my mum knows he’s alive.”

“Don’t fret over it now, when she arrives things will fall into place.”

Perhaps it was the idea that he’d get to hug his mother soon that made him loose his composure, but Merlin was crying before he could stop. His father was alive, he was back home where he belonged with his friends, and most importantly he was free from Uther’s reign of tyranny. Arms were around him instantly, hugging him to within an inch of his life.

Food all but forgotten, Merlin sobbed into Morgana’s shoulder. It’d been a while since he let go of his emotions this way.  Gradually the tears faded and he managed a controlled breath. “S-sorry I didn’t mean to do that.”

“It’s alright,” she replied softly, pushing up from the bed to look at him properly. “You’ve had a rough time of things recently, it’s okay to let go.”

Sniffling pathetically he rubbed away the remaining tears with his sleeve. Looking down he noted that Morgana had moved the plate away; he’d at least not made a mess of crumbs in Arthur’s bed. “I’m so sorry I wasn’t there for you when you needed someone,” he added, feeling remorseful about how things had played out initially.

“I was actively trying to murder Uther; I suppose I can understand your reasons for picking Arthur over me.”

“He’s my friend, I love him so much, I don’t know what I’d do if he – gods I can’t even talk about it,” Merlin whispered.

“Yes, and he loves you too, we can all see that, though, good luck getting him to admit his feelings,” Morgana huffed.

“Yeah, I know, but it doesn’t change how I treated you, it was still wrong.”

“Merlin, we need to stop lingering in the past, I think it’s time we looked to the future.”

“Does that mean what I think it does?”

Morgana sighed and threw him a hard look, “Yes, I forgive you. I understand your point of view better now. I might still want to shove you in a mud puddle once you’re better, but for now I think we are even.”

Unable to keep from laughing at the image of being covered in mud, he smiled, “You have no idea how happy that makes me right now. I value your friendship more than you think, you’re special Morgana. Morgause saw what you could become, but she only wanted to use your power for herself. If you let your magic flow naturally you could achieve so much.”

“Does that mean you want to train together?” she asked with a smirk. “I’ll send you flying.”

“I have a dragon to catch me if you do; besides you know more spells than me so I’d appreciate the help.”

Morgana shook her head but she was smiling fondly. “First things first, we figure out how you can use all of your power and not faint like a maid.”

“Oi, I don’t want to pass out, it’s not intentional,” he lamented.

“It’s not important at the moment, rest and let us take care of you for now.”

“I’ll turn into a potato if I sleep any longer!” Merlin cried despite feeling the tendrils of exhaustion pull at him once more. Rubbing at his eyes he couldn’t help but yawn. Stupid body, it needed to catch up so he go back to work.

He was about to complain again when the sound of the door softly clicking open caught his attention. Soon a figure appeared holding a candle. The set of his shoulders and billowing red cape were unmistakable. Arthur had come to relieve Morgana.

“Merlin, you’re awake!” he nearly shouted before placing the candle on the table and leaping onto the bed to tackle him in a hug.

Arthur’s weight made it difficult to breath, and his armor wasn’t the most comfortable, but Merlin hugged back as best he could.  They’d done it; they’d taken the throne from Uther without a horrid war. When Arthur finally pulled back his eyes were shining, guess everyone was a little emotional.

“You couldn’t wait to take off all your armor before you accosted him?” Morgana chided.

“No, I could not, he’s been down for the count for three days, I missed him,” Arthur defended shuffling off the bed and coming around to poke Morgana in the arm. “A little help Morgs,” he asked while fiddling with the buckles he could reach. She acquiesced and had Arthur out of his chainmail and armor in no time. “Merlin, we’ve got so much to catch you up on.”

“Morgana filled me on quite a bit, I – I don’t think I can handle anything more at the moment.”

“You do look worn out all over again, what did she do to you?”

“I didn’t do anything to him Arthur, I merely told him about his father, and where everyone ended up.”

“But did you tell him about the repeal of the ban?” Arthur added excitedly. “I’ve got a first draft of the law already inked and ready for both of you to review.”

Merlin could feel his tears threatening to come back all over again. All that he’d hoped for and more was actually coming to fruition. The sudden worry that this was all some kind of fever dream made him truly panic. Taking a gasping breath, Merlin fought to calm his racing mind, but nothing seemed to fill his air starved lungs.

“-lin, Merlin! What’s wrong?!” a voice asked breaking through the haze. “Come on, stay with us, you’re alright.”

It wasn’t until two warm, calloused hands gripped his face that Merlin was able to ground his wild thoughts. Blinking away the unshed tears he focused on Arthur’s face. “This – this is real, isn’t it?” he rasped, praying for the answer to be yes.

“Oh Merlin,” Arthur murmured before gathering him up into another hug. This time the lack of armor made the experience so much better. “Yes, it’s real, we’ve accomplished something truly unbelievable. Well, you have,” he chuckled softly. “If you hadn’t used your magic to ease the hate then none of this would be possible.”

“I still don’t know what I did exactly,” Merlin replied shakily.

“I think you shared your love of magic with everyone. You said you are the embodiment of magic itself, I’m not sure, but I believe we all have a better understanding of that now.”

“Understanding of what, though?” Merlin asked still clinging to Arthur.

“That it’s nothing to be afraid of, magic simply is. Sort of how water flows and nourishes things, magic does the same thing.” Arthur offered easily.

Unable to hold back Merlin let his tears flow for a second time. Years of pent up anger and frustration drained out of him.

“People have always feared what they don’t understand, Merlin,” Morgana added coming to sit on the bed to rub his shoulder.

“I – I know but it – it can’t be this easy to end two decades of hate,” he whimpered.

“The purge was always wrong!” Morgana huffed, “No one was able to go against Uther, until now. Undead knights and curses can only do so much; we needed a different approach all along.”

“We needed magic incarnate, we needed you Merlin,” Arthur offered releasing his hold and easing Merlin back down onto the pillows.

Laughing nervously Merlin threw an arm over his eyes, “don’t tell me things like that, I’ll get a big head just like you,” he teased.

Arthur poked him in the ribs for his remark but Merlin peeked out and saw his friend smiling. Things were going to work out, they had to. The heavy weight of having to lie to all the people he loved was finally gone. Merlin could be himself, without fear.

--

Nearly one year later:

Standing in a clearing somewhere just outside Camelot, Merlin fully released his magic. Letting it flow freely was when he felt the most at ease. There was no threat to handle today; he’d only wanted to feel the touch of the breeze on his face and the song of nature call to him. However, this time when he slowly pulled his power back into check he felt energized. Gone were the days of using powerful bouts of magic only to collapse.

It had been Kilgharrah that figured out his issue, the dragon noted that after having to hide his magic for so long he’d buried the connection of his magic to his own body. It was there, never to be broken, but he wasn’t letting his magic act naturally. It wanted to sooth and give him power, but leave it to Merlin to shut that down.

After that day he was able to use his magic without worry of getting exhausted. Granted Arthur wore him out plenty, with his new duties as the official court sorcerer. Morgana would have taken the role but she’d been named queen. Geoffrey had found some way to crown both Arthur and her together even though they were siblings.

Merlin suspected that they might have two queens in the near future if Arthur’s fawning over Gwen was any indication. The man was besotted. Deciding it wasn’t an issue to worry over he turned to go back to the citadel.

He didn’t make it very far when a wave of magic hit him, sending him backward. Crying out he flailed his arms but the ground didn’t collide with his backside as he’d assumed.

“I thought you were supposed to be the most powerful warlock to roam the lands?” a voice called out.

“Morgana, put me down -- gently!” he added as he tried to get his bearings. Floating in midair was slightly unnerving.

“Now, why would I do that? I’ve captured myself quite a prize, I think I should get a reward for my efforts.”

Ceasing his efforts to right himself Merlin went limp. He could easily get out of Morgana’s magical hold but he was enjoying the attention. She’d been seeking his company out more and more over the past months and Merlin wished he knew why. He’d been pining over her for a long time, maybe one day his dreams would come true. He’d already vowed not to make the first move, it wasn’t his place, not after all they’d been through.

“Are you planning on leaving me here for the rest of the day?” he asked watching her stride closer.

“That depends.”

“On what? Do you want me to turn someone into a toad for you?” he mused.

“Don’t be silly, I can do that on my own.”

“Well then I’m at a loss as to whaompfff--.” Merlin’s brain stopped functioning. Morgana was kissing him! Reaching out for her he nearly had a hold when the ground came up suddenly. Coughing at the rough landing he whipped his head up and almost blurted something stupid. Thinking Morgana had been teasing him he had been oh so close to telling her as such, when he noticed the blush blooming across her beautiful cheeks.

“Oh my goddess, I – I’m so sorry – what – I didn’t mean --,” she rambled kneeling beside him with a worried look.

“What didn’t you mean?” he checked desperately, “the kiss or the falling on my butt?”

“The falling of course!” she cried. “Damn, I had it all planned out and you ruined it all!”

“Me?!”

“You shouldn’t make such cute little noises when you kiss, it’s unfair, and what the hell were you trying to do with your tongue, why do you even know that?” Morgana asked excitedly.  

“We can try again, if you want?”

“Of course we will be trying again, what kind of person do you take me for, I thought you knew me omphfff--.”

Merlin was quite happy to repay the favor this time. Morgana had initiated the first move so now it was his turn. The grass tickled his hands and face as he repositioned them in the lush greenery. Neither one was willing to break apart, and time seemed to stretch on forever as they lazed about kissing. If every day could be like this Merlin would die happy.

The sun drew across the sky as they rested in the clearing. Nothing needed attention aside from the newly developed chapter in their relationship. Content to trade kisses and hold Morgana close Merlin let his thoughts go; for once he could simply exist and not worry.

Morgana broke the silence after a while, “Merlin, if we should marry would that make you king as well?”

Working fiercely to hide his utter joy at hearing her say such a thing he replied, “I’ve no idea, but I feel like we should tease Arthur about the possibility. He’ll go mad.”

“Careful, don’t joke about that, Uther went crazy after all,” she added seriously.

“I know, it’s a shame he doesn’t understand all the good we’ve done in his place.”

“I suppose seeing all that he fought for disappear in a flash was simply too much to bear. Magic always being at the heart of Camelot was something he couldn’t fathom.”

“Do you think he felt guilty at all?” Merlin asked, tugging Morgana nearer so he could kiss her forehead.

“Maybe, Arthur thinks so at least, he’s the only one he’ll talk to these days. I know my sister still hates us all, but she’s keeping busy bulling Cenred.”

“As so she should, she can’t come here anyway. The ward I placed on the border won’t allow her entry.”

Morgana hummed in acknowledgment, “Is it the same kind of magic you used to keep Uther from leaving?”

“Yeah, he’s comfortable, but he won’t be influencing anyone anymore. You and Arthur are the rightful heirs to the throne now. With magic not being illegal things are getting better.”

“Oh, I forgot to tell you, I received a letter yesterday from someone you might remember,” she enthused.

“Hmmm who?” Merlin knew it wasn’t his mum, she had married Balinor and they were living in Camelot now. There weren’t many others he’d connected with over the years.

“Mordred,” Morgana offered quietly.

“Oh, oh shit,” Merlin worried, sitting up abruptly and causing Morgana to squeak in protest.

“What’s wrong? Tell me?” she urged holding his hand.

“Kilgharrah warned me that Mordred would harm Arthur, he might try and set him on fire if they cross paths.”

“Perhaps we should ask the dragon his opinion again, things have changed. I think if we invite Mordred to visit he might actually fit in rather well.”

“You have to help me, if he so much as gives Arthur a funny look I’m hurtling his druid butt into the next kingdom!”

Morgana laughed brightly at the comment and pulled him in for another round of kisses, “I promise to help you Emrys no matter what.”

“Oh, don’t call me that while we’re making out, it’s kinda sexy,” Merlin managed. Of course Morgana decided to whisper the name into his ear right after that, figures she was out to kill him today. Needless to say they were delayed in returning to the castle that evening. Merlin wasn’t complaining, things were moving along just fine in his opinion.

THE END