Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Sephiroth barely caught the small form of his assigned Infantryman.

A quick end of the call to Kunsel and he gently carried the man to the Infirmary, Nurse Shada cursing at the sight of him while also healing a grumpy Second Class.

"I'm aware you're in overflow but could you take a look? He passed out on Exec Guard duty... Said he'd been in the field for three months." He explained succinctly, knowing time was precious in such a place.

He'd been here more times than he cared to count, over the years.

"Hate when you give me those kitten eyes, General, lemme look– Woof. Poor fella, just straight up exhausted. If you've got the room for him, it's just rest and recovery. And at least two Elixirs."

"Thank you, Shada, I'll do my utmost to care for him."

"Thank you for keeping a bed free for some other poor sod, sir. Go on, get," Nurse Shada waved him away, brown gaze sweeping over the already crowded Infirmary to look over his patients. Med Bay would be even worse off and louder from personal experience so Sephiroth did his best to leave quickly.

He gently unlaced the boots, setting them against the couch edge and then slowly removed the helmet.

Soft blond spikes fell across closed eyes, the lashes almost as long as Sephiroth's own.

Sephiroth wondered at the light weight in his arms even as he gently covered the Infantryman.

Strife, his name tape read.

He had blue eyes, the same color of the sea by Costa del Sol; clear, clean and with a tint of green around the inside.

Sephiroth didn't realize they'd locked onto his until after the fact, his heart beating almost double time.

How he made it through dinner, he couldn't tell you.

Sephiroth laid his duster back over the small form, the shoulders slackening further still with the weight of it.

Genesis gave him what he'd mentally pinned as the 'resting bitch-face but actually whiskey-tango-foxtrot what are you doing' Look.

"He seemed to like it," he sighed, dragging a hand down his face. It wasn't often he pulled the shortest straw in the Exec Duty bin but it was bound to happen eventually. "I sent word through Kunsel about the treatment of an overworked Infantryman." 

"Your word would go further," Angeal countered, crossing his arms and raising a brow at the lump on his pullout couch.

"I already cemented his place as being favored by a SOLDIER—" he argued as he scraped his hands through his hair.

Sephiroth huffed his wayward bangs out of place as Gen snarked, "Fearsome General is an actual human being, more at eleven,"

"Oh mighty and powerful god, please help this humble soul with the eight billion dishes you made with the casseroles," Zack chided with a soapy sponge in hand.

Genesis looked at the soap, looked at the door and bolted.

Typical.

The polite but short note left by Corporal Strife made Sephiroth frown.

He hadn't been that terrible, had he?

Sephiroth had finally found an opening to talk to Strife in a more casual manner.

Taking care of him after he'd collapsed certainly hadn't counted.

"Might I see your PHS?" He inquired, hoping to make it easy enough that he could continue to keep in contact with the, as Zack had put it, bitey Infantryman.

Sephiroth ruthlessly squashed the thought that he hoped the Infantryman would bite, perhaps in a more intimate setting.

"Infantry are not assigned PHS, sir." Strife informed him bluntly. "Director Heidegger said they'd distract Infantry while we're at ShinRa HQ. We're to turn them in after every mission, sir."

Siger made a rude gesture in a sign of a Knights of the Round Lance.

"They're permanently assigned all across ShinRa. If you'll excuse me..." Sephiroth growled, spinning on his heel so that he could turn his wrath onto the appropriate target.

""Anyyyywaaaays, Kunsel, I need a favor from you!"" Zack cheerfully and quite forcefully dragged the conversation back to it's original intent. Sephiroth's lips twitched faintly at the way his lover stubbornly kept going.

Strife paused and asked slowly. ""... Are we not-?""

""Sephiroth's about to scare the piss out of Director Heidegger. Don't worry about it."" Siger supplied as he crossed his arms over his chest, the skiff of skin against ribbed knit an easy one to decipher. ""What kind of favor, Puppy?""

Heidegger gave a stupid grin as he met Sephiroth in front of his desk.

"So, what brings the great Silver General to my—Ghk!"

Sephiroth pulled the cravat that Heidegger always wore down then wrapped it around his gloved hand, yanking it again to make sure he was paid attention to with quiet surety.

"PHS are prohibited from being wiped and turned back in after being assigned across ShinRa. It disrupts vital communications and previous mapping done to the areas in question. Tell me why you chose to flout ShinRa's regulations, Director; give me the pleasure of taking away what you cherish most."

"–Ghk!–I'll have them reinstated today, I swear on Alexander–!"

"I want it done now, Director." He loomed, the fabric beginning to give way under his strength with slow -schrip-schhhhh-rip–

Heidegger typed quickly, loosened enough to do so as Sephiroth watched with a burning green gaze.

"Done! It's in Supply's hands now!" The watery gaze looked pitiful, "Please."

"Thank you, Director, you were extremely helpful today." Sephiroth smiled with more teeth than strictly necessary and Heidegger shuddered, still in his grip as he gently patted the man's cheek. "Make sure I don't have to come in here again."

He released the Director, wrinkled his nose at the stench which wafted up after he let go and cast a non-verbal Esuna to cleanse himself of the man's presence.

Supply scattered at his look, the desk Sgt. none other than-

"Sir," Johnson greeted easily. "How may I assist you today?"

"The PHS assignments, do you keep records?"

"We do sir, and no, we do not wipe them as Director Heidegger asks. The mapping data is too significant to lose for the sake of one man's pride, sir."

"Give me Strife's then, and redistribute the remainder on hand."

"That an order sir?"

"It is." He admitted bluntly.

Johnson's answering smile was just short of malicious, none of it aimed at Sephiroth himself. "Thank you so much sir."

Chapter Text

Sephiroth cleared his throat behind Strife's cubicle, which had the Sargeant in question turning in his seat, blue eyes widening almost comically as they trailed up his duster.

The helmet that normally hid the expressions Infantry made was placed on the ground, tucked almost out of sight; Sephiroth found himself grateful that he could gaze unimpeded.

"Such reactivity, Sgt. Strife," he teased gently, absolutely amused at the way the other man's face showed surprise. "One would think you didn't have the ability to steal a knife from a Tonberry."

"Unexpected SOLDIER in cubicle, Aisle Nine, I repeat, unexpected SOLDIER," he teased right back, not missing a beat as Sephiroth took a moment to fish—"Is there a mission, sir?"

He held out the PHS as an offering, Strife taking it and automatically entering his credentials out of mission-ready habit.

It beeped, the screen went green for a moment with ShinRa's logo and then Strife's brows furrowed at the amount of contacts now listed, "Sir?"

"That contains my number, Zack's number, that of Commander Kunsel should you not be able to reach either of us and the number of the Turk SIC. Please do not use that last one unless absolutely necessary." Sephiroth offered with a smile, adding with a huff, "Heidegger will heed ShinRa policy and not remove the PHS once they're assigned to an Infantryman."

"... Thank you, sir." The softness of the tone somehow conveyed gratitude.

"I wanted to make sure you got one." Sephiroth refrained from adding that he wanted to see Strife personally as he'd gone and gotten—as his beloved Puppy so often put it—attached to his new Infantry charge.

"I appreciate it sir. Permission to speak freely?"

"Granted,"

"I have paperwork to be getting to, sir, but feel free to text me." Strife paused, glanced at the PHS clock and asked, "Aren't you supposed to be running the Advanced tactics class for Thirds, sir?"

Sephiroth grimaced at the reminder of the tactics class and muttered, "I need to simulate actual combat but the VR won't allow for that much blood."

"It will if you yank the third cord on the left of the command box." came a blurted suggestion, Strife chewing on his lower lip and reddening it slightly.

Sephiroth barely managed to ask the pertinent question, distracted by the way the later afternoon sun sliced through the room to highlight Strife's face. "The upper or the lower?"

"Upper, sir, and it's the lime green one. You didn't hear it from me sir."

"... Noted." Sephiroth hummed, opened his mouth to continue the easy banter when his own PHS beeped. He snapped it open, grumbled at the message he'd gotten, "Godsdamned meetings. My apologies, Sgt. Strife, it seems I have to go."

"Good luck, sir."

He softened just the slightest and was granted a smile that outdid the sun that was glowing around Strife.

Sephiroth abruptly did an about-face and swept out of the Infantry cubicles, lest his hands betray his intentions and cradle a face that was slowly becoming something more to him.

Bored.

Bored.

Bored.

Sephiroth didn't even bother looking up from his PHS as the meeting went on, scrolling through his contacts list until—

Hmm.

Time to test the waters a little, as Zack would say.

Sephiroth: Stupid meeting

Sephiroth: I don't even need to be here.

It took a long moment, the seconds seeming to stretch just shy of endless when his PHS buzzed gently.

Strife: What's it about?

He'd left off the rank!

Sephiroth purred softly, his Executive coworkers leaving him to peacefully type on his PHS.

The Masamune was a remarkably effective way to get someone to shut up when applied judiciously.

Sephiroth: Funding.

Five ticks of the clock before—

Strife: ??? Why r u even there?

Sephiroth turned his muffled laughter into a faint cough, much to Hojo's consternation.

Sephiroth: They insist on one General per meeting-

Good, maybe he could cause Hojo a heart attack one day and rid the Planet of him entirely.

Sephiroth: that concerns SOLDIERs.

How deeply Sephiroth despised his Father, to the point that only the gods would know.

Sephiroth: In Zack's words? 'Plain ol' Chocoshit;'

Sephiroth: 'they just want to feel important.'

He waited, observing how the Assistant Director to Urban Development was actually taking concise but crisp notes in a unique shorthand.

He'd have to keep an eye on the man, perhaps snag one of the few under-associates that was actually competent for the SOLDIERs instead.

Strife: In the mountains,

Strife: we'd say it was a pile of Dragonshit.

This time Sephiroth's laughter was choked, as he'd been drinking the slightly less shitty meeting coffee as he read the answer.

Palmer blustered and raged at his end of the table, face going from red to puce to—

Huh.

Purple was new.

Sephiroth: Palmer's being defunded.

Sephiroth: I've never seen someone turn purple before.

The reply had his lips curling up into a smile.

Strife: Gya-ha-ha can turn quite a few colors.

Strife: Purple's new tho

The meeting broke and he texted, almost on habit,

Sephiroth: Meeting's breaking for lunch.

Delight thrummed through him when Strife so easily replied,

Strife: Wanna chat where there isn't a limit?

He wanted to confirm the location so that he wouldn't have to hunt down his texting companion.

Sephiroth: Infantry Caf?

He was rewarded for his effort with a single word answer.

Strife: Yeah

Sephiroth lengthened his stride, ordered at the SOLDIER caf and was on his way to the Infantry caf when Angeal tapped him on the shoulder.

"You seem awfully chipper coming out of that meeting, Seph,"

"I'm meeting with someone," he hummed, "better company than what I just left,"

"Ah, fair enough," Angeal winked and Seph rolled his eyes.

"That joke was in poor taste the first three times you told it," he chided with a smile.

"I don't suppose there's room for another seat?" Sephiroth draped himself over the backwards chair, cup edge dangling from his fingers. Strife nodded mutely as he poked at a salad that was more wilted than truly green, much like every salad at ShinRa. "Excellent. My apologies for not texting, the meeting break runs short and I wanted to talk more."

"... That's fine, sir." The tinted visor hid all but the flick of thick eyelashes that he knew were blond from experience as they lowered.

"Hn. What did you mean by Director Palmer can turn quite a few colors?" He prodded gently, moreso than he ever had with Zack.

Strife snorted as he spun a wilted piece of green in his gloved fingers, "Palmer ran into an escaped Mono Drive and screamed at the Infantry to shoot it. Turned three different shades while he was doing his best to hide himself in the decorative plants."

Sephiroth chuckled at the mental image, offering, "Colors would be putting it lightly, what he did in this meeting..."

Strife leaned forward, as though eager to hear as Sephiroth set the stage for his story.

Chapter Text

" OhmygodshessofuckingCUTE—" Zack blurted at high speed as he set foot over the threshold of Sephiroth's office.

"Zack?"

"Yeah?"

"Beloved, breathe,"

Zack closed the door, closed his eyes, inhaled deeply and then blew it out even slower. "He held my hand, Seph. Like, didn't want to let go and it was so fucking adorable that I almost died from the cute,"

"... Was his hair as soft as I imagined?"

"Softer, oh my gods, he snuggled because it was cold up there on the heli pad and—"

"The sunrise? Our sunrise?" He questioned with a faint laugh, "Is that your only move?"

Zack squawked, which had been Sephiroth's intention in the first place. "It is not!" He held out his arms for a hug and Zack pouted before his lips twitched up into a smile, "Okay, it's one of them but it worked on you, so I don't want to hear it, mister!"

"That's General to you," he purred as Zack wrapped him in a hug. Hn. His Puppy was getting lankier again, "I do believe you're going to grow again,"

"No way, I already hit my Da's height—"

"Your shoulders are almost even with mine," he offered with a huff even as Zack stuffed himself into the crux between neck and shoulder like it would help the growth spurt.

"Don't wanna be taller."

"Sparring will help,"

"... you can't fix everything with sparring," came the grumble.

"No," Sephiroth admitted with a shrug, "but movement does."

"I know a movement we both like,"

"Not in the office," he sighed even as he tilted his head up to allow room for Zack's soft kisses to trail up and down his neck.

""Your lips say no/But your body says yes""

"Oh gods, anything but that song," he laughed into the kiss Zack left along the corner of his mouth.

Sephiroth guessed he was clocking out for lunch after all.

"Okay, so he likes his hand being held, he likes food, has sword calluses for days, bitey, hot as fuck... am I missing anything?"

"Allergies,"

"Favorite food but you know how he takes his coffee at least,"

"Dislikes,"

"To be fair-hah!-if he likes Hojo he's out of the running,"

"I've yet to meet the individual pleased with Hojo's various socialization attempts," he snorted into his own coffee.

"... you got me there,"

"His first name,"

"'S Cloud,"

Sephiroth carefully set down his mug and turned to fully face Zack from having his head petted.

"Chocoshit," There was no way—

"No, no, it's really Cloud. His Ma named him damn well 'n speaking of his Ma, she's the legendary Dragon Hunter, Claudia Lancer!"

Even Sephiroth has heard of Claudia Lancer, as lab raised and SOLDIER ranked as he was, "... That would explain some of his more ballsy behavior,"

Sephiroth was running the Cadet intake trials, hoping that the gods would grant him enough kindness to see Strife.

A small, slightly familiar form limped back to the line, dripping mud from the course that was difficult even for him on a bad day.

"Strife!" Gosser called out, ushering forward the muddied Infantry uniform.

"Yessir!" That was his Infantryman.

"Excellent timing,"

"Thank you, sir."

"Aren't you that Infantryman I saw in the-" the tone rang familiar.

"Gosser, your assessment of Strife?" He cut in, some deeply envious part of him wanting the attention of those blue, blue eyes.

"He's been hanging with Commander Fair and he's definitely gotten faster; mind you, sir, he was fast before but this is a whole other level. Absolutely shit with a gun but a standard blade doesn't seem to be an issue. We ever get Mako in him, I'm afraid for a good chunk of the Corps." came the easy reply.

"Afraid, Gosser?" Sephiroth prodded. Gosser wasn't often one to admit to such things.

"... Sir, he hit the mock monster and split the wood down the center."

"Is that so, Strife?" he turned to look down at Strife, who was beginning to hit his shoulder.

"Wood chopping, sir. The sword doesn't weigh as much as an axe, sir." The absolute confidence in the way he held himself made Sephiroth want to touch.

"Hn. Continue, Gosser."

"I highly recommend him for the Program but the Mako test will tell us if he can even join." Gosser mentioned the worst part of the Program; Sephiroth turned his focus onto his Infantryman instead of grimacing.

"Understood. Strife, this way,"

"Yessir."

Sephiroth pulled a towel from his inventory, carefully wiping the mud from Strife's helmet. "You did well,"

"Thank you, sir."

"... Kunsel was right, that is incredibly odd. Sephiroth, please." He was allowed, why wouldn't he use it?

"Sir?"

"I gave you have permission to use it." he reminded Strife as he carefully flicked the mud out of the towel before he continued cleaning.

"Sir—"

"Strife," Sephiroth knelt to clean off his knee armor, willing Strife to understand as he stared straight into where Strife's eyes would be under the visor. "you have my PHS number. I can legitimately count the number of people who have it on one hand."

By Bahamut's wings, was Strife really that uneasy around him?

"Does that make us friends?" He blurted, relief bursting in Sephiroth's chest.

Oh thank gods, Strife was just incredibly insecure.

"... I should certainly hope so. Again, do you find me disingenuous?" He chided softly as he moved onto the other knee.

"No, si-Sephiroth," he shook his head, "What does a pithy, knife-wielding Infantryman add to a General's life?"

"He adds much, the least of which is more common sense." came the pointed rejoinder as he wiped away the last of the mud he could reach. "I've gotten as much as I can, Strife."

"... My friends call me Cloud."

The smile that threatened to break lose was smothered ruthlessly as Sephiroth stood, handing the towel for clean up over to his friend. "Very well, Cloud, I've the rest of the SOLDIER trials to look after but you passed the initial physical."

He turned back to the trials by the skin of his teeth, wanting nothing more than to turn back around, flick the visor up and kiss Cloud quite soundly.

Alas, there was still more wooing yet to do of the Wolf-Resistant Country Bumpkin.

Chapter Text

Salt water and the keening agony of grief greeted Sephiroth when he went to Cloud's—and wasn't that a wonder, to use the given name—prefered sparring area.

He didn't even bother with pleasantries, gathering up the small frame to hold Cloud close. Something sticking out of the dummy made him look up and carefully ask, "... Did you throw that sword?"

"-Hic!-...yeah...-Hic!-"

The moment stretched but Sephiroth was valiantly suppressing the urge to kiss those tear-soaked cheeks out of joy, "Cloud, I don't think you need Mako."

"Huh?" Those beguiling blue eyes— red-rimmed with tears—looked up, all the more intimate as Sephiroth asked gently,

"How many people, in your experience, can snap a full sized blade off in a wooden dummy?"

Cloud trusted him deeper than he'd first thought and hadn't protested about being put down.

His friend gasped at the sight and he added wryly, "We'll figure that out later but Gen—General Rhapsodos to you—said that shitty news is to be dealt with via cuddles and ice cream."

Cloud sniffled, croaked out, "Sounds nice," before he buried his face against Sephiroth's chest, cheeks still wet with tears as they swept out of the practice room.

Sephiroth hummed softly as he walked to Zack's apartment, some half remembered Wutainese song from the War*.

Sephiroth cradled Cloud close and swore revenge on the technician that had made his Cloud cry.

Zack clucked his tongue after taking a look at Cloud, tugging off his boots to lean them up against the doorway and scooping Cloud out of Sephiroth's arms.

Sephiroth only allowed it to happen because it was Zack doing the taking.

He one-handedly removed all of Cloud's armor, sliding the pieces off after they'd been unsnapped.

Sephiroth gathered all of the armor as it fell and set up on the rack they'd bought for armor sloughing purposes.

... if they so happened to have a third rack available at all times in case Cloud dropped by for a hang out session with Zack.

Well.

That was their business, now wasn't it?

"Get your boots off, Seph, 'n go snag the ice cream?" he asked softly.

"Hn," he toed out of the bottom half of his boots then slid the ridiculous thigh highs off with a practiced flick of his wrist.

"Hey buddy, I just heard. Stupid fuckers." Zack rumbled as he settled them on the pullout both Zack and Sephiroth now figured was Cloud's own space. "I read the sheet. One of the techs said that technically, yes, it disqualified you from the regular SOLDIER Program." Cloud frowned, about to open his mouth in protest when Zack blithely continued, "Although, the slow drip or even prolonged contact with a SOLDIER might help raise your levels enough for the regular SOLDIER Program."

"... Zack, I mean this with every fiber of my being, what the actual fuck are you talking about?" Cloud blurted, confusion the reigning emotion.

"So, uh, it ain't public knowledge but I went through the drip treatment cause my Mako absorption rate was shitty for a long time. So I was told, point blank, to legit cuddle up with Angeal. Turns out SOLDIERs basically shed a shitton of Mako through bodily fluids and it doesn't take much to get it in your system if you're touching them." Zack explained eagerly. "You know at least three SOLDIERs so cuddle time shouldn't be too hard to manage!"

Sephiroth listened with half an ear as he dug around for the good ice cream, the one with the whipped cream and berries in it.

"About that," Sephiroth interjected as he handed over a small tub of ice cream and a spoon. "He snapped a standard blade off in one of the old practice dummies."

"Eyyy, guess there is some stock in spending sweaty spars with me after all!" Zack crowed, giving Cloud's hair a noogie.

The urge to lean over Cloud and kiss Zack was squashed in the face of shitty ShinRa handling of someone Sephiroth was quite sure would be a terrifying SOLDIER.

"Gosser said he was faster," he added before looking him in the eyes. "Not enough for detection, then, but not an incompatibility so much as a differing method. Would you like to try it that way, Cloud?"

"Oh-ho-ho! Finally." Zack cackled, jogging Cloud while he was eating his ice cream.

"What?" the question was said in stereo, both of them looking at Zack with narrowed eyes.

"Gods, it took you two forever to go by first names."

"Did you want to tickle him or should I?"

"Tag team it,"

"Hey, hey, EEEK!—"

After they'd settled again, all three of them half-watching Gen's stupid suggestion of 'Blugu on the Beach', Sephiroth relished in the close contact.

Squashed as Cloud was between them, the warmth was lulling him into dozing, his no longer watery breaths smoothing into something deeper.

"Seph?" Zack prodded.

"Mmm." He hummed back, not wanted to disturb the peace.

"He asleep?"

"Not quite," Sephiroth took the chance to card his fingers through the spikes, surprised at the softness. He dug in a little more, gently massaging Cloud's scalp in a way Sephiroth knew felt good.

There was a faint hitch in Cloud's breath and then he was asleep, lips pulled up in a faint smile.

"Are we doing this right?" He murmured even as Cloud snuffled and burrowed himself against Sephiroth's chest.

"I think so? He holds hands with us, he allows us to take him places without protesting. He's sleeping on you, which is pretty good in my book."

"The fact that he rests is the only reason I'm not getting up and stabbing that tech with Masamune—" he growled lowly, gently redirecting Cloud's spikes as he carded through them.

"Pretty sure you're going to have to get in line; a lot of the prospective SOLDIER Candidates said much the same." Zack teased, the hardness of his eyes harboring a similar sentiment and belying his soft tone. "Besides, if his absorption rate really is better by cuddles, we just found a kickass way to spend time with him."

"Hn, that we did," Sephiroth answered as he reached across Cloud to pepper Zack's face in tiny kisses.

Zack purred, leaning into it and involving tongue. Sephiroth rumbled softly then pulled back, smiling as Cloud only inched closer.

"There's no way Spike's that oblivious."

Chapter Text

He was, in fact, that oblivious.

Sephiroth had sworn that he had been oblivious within reason once upon a time but Cloud, of all his interpersonal relationships, took the cake.

The meteor date had solidified the sentiment, honestly.

He knocked on her office door, leaning on the doorway to watch her work before his comment disrupted her concentration, "Staff Sgt. Selkirk."

"Yessir?"

"... Sgt. Porteous is on duty. Would you like to accompany me?"

Her lips pulled back into a wry smile, "Sir, once upon a time no one could tell me that you were a supurb match maker and yet here we are,"

"Hn."

"This have anything to do with Sgt. Strife?"

"..."

Brown eyes twinkled merrily as she offered, "Want me to switch with your pretty boy?"

"A favor for a favor."

"If that's what you call it, sir," she wriggled her eyebrows at him and he huffed genially as she swung into place at his side.

He looked at his text briefly before he sent it off, having been painstakingly typed prior to this moment.

Sephiroth: Have you ever watched a meteor shower?

Cloud replied in increments—smart, considering he was technically on duty.

Cloud: Only once

Cloud: When I was a kid

Cloud: Why?

He picked up his pace but was mindful of Selkirk behind him, the length of his stride only as long as her own.

"Sir, if I may?"

"Permission granted to speak freely," he replied absently as he followed Cloud's mountain air and pine scent that lingered in the hallways.

Distinctive now that he'd centered it like he had with those he trusted most; Gen, Geal and of course Zack's committed to his memory.

"Good luck,"

"... it is appreciated but unnecessary,"

Selkirk made an awful noise—somewhere between a snort and a cackle—and Sephiroth carefully turned to make sure she wasn't injured. Her shoulders shook under the silver pauldrons, mirth evident on her expressions even as hair escaped her curly bun. "Sir, you could probably drop an anvil from a plane with a declaration of feeling and Strife would take the anvil for the steel and not think anything of the words written on it."

"Strife is intelligent—"

"Emotionally, sir,"

"... No one is that oblivious,"

"Strife, with me," Sephiroth ordered easily, the Delta Sgt. tripped over himself trying to salute with his PHS in hand, eyes widening as he saw Cloud's replacement. "At ease, Sgt. Porteous. Meet Strife's replacement, Staff Sgt. Selkirk."

Cloud followed Sephiroth with more and more confusion, all of it visible as they boarded a helicopter with Zack as the pilot.

The flashed grin seemed to put Cloud at ease and Sephiroth mentally pinned a note to thank his beloved later.

His helmet was gently removed and a headset placed on instead.

""How's the sound, Spike?"" Zack teased.

""Good but I don't understand?"" He snarked as he adjusted the mic to sit better on his face.

Sephiroth wondered if it was logical to be jealous of a piece of foam that close to Cloud's lips.

""You will, buddy!""

""Up and to the left, Cloud,"" Sephiroth pointed out gently.

Green light arched across the night sky, the meteor falling just short of Midgar. Cloud reached out and Sephiroth met the reaching ones with his own.

The second meteor making him gasp in delight, prompting Sephiroth to ask, ""Is... is this okay?"" Cloud squeezed his fingers the same way he'd apparently done with Zack's during the sunrise viewing.

""Yeah,"" Cloud agreed with a smile.

The meteor shower zinged across the sky and the heat of Cloud's hand made up for the way the wind seemed to whip straight through his usual Shield combination.

Sephiroth watched the enjoyment sprawl across Cloud's face and swore that he would make sure that expression crossed it often.

Sephiroth slunk in so early that the emergency low-lighting was barely on the floors.

He pulled the sleek black envelope hed gotten roughly three weeks prior to the event and set it down just so on to desk that belonged to the man he was trying to woo.

Hopefully it would be taken at face value this time.

Cloud: Okay, if ur gonna invite me

Cloud: By Odin's Mount

Cloud: U gotta help me pick out a suit

The notifications popped up back to back on their group chat which Zack had created.

Zack: Thot u'd never ask >:)))

Zack offered his hand for a high five and Sephiroth gave him one with an eye roll as he typed,

Sephiroth: Monster mission in Sector 4 won't run long

Sephiroth: Could go shopping in 5?

Zack made a face and typed quickly,

Zack: fuk no. Kickass tailor in slums 6.

Cloud: Sephiroth.

Cloud: IN THE SLUMS

The incredulity that radiated from the text surprised him a little.

Sephiroth: What's so bad abt slums

He'd been to them before, albeit on monster extermination missions and even then, those had ceased when the war began.

Cloud: ... You're ShinRa's POSTER BOY

Cloud: Wutainese sympathizers LIVE IN SLUMS 6

Ah. Well, that would certainly put a damper on any shopping trip, let alone for something as expensive as a suit.

Cloud: Gods, u 2 live for danger

There was a long pause before Zack typed slowly,

Zack: Shit. 4got that. :((( 5 it is

The mission was so easy, it resembled a milk run for Sephiroth and Zack, Cloud getting in a few, remarkably timed, hits of his own on the enemies.

With the flimsiest excuse known to gods or man, they somehow made it to Sector 5's tailoring shop.

The tinkle of the bell summoned an old man, the sharp gaze taking them all in and zeroing on Cloud.

"I take it you're in need of a suit, young man?"

"... Yessir."

"Wedding, event?"

"Ah, event, sir-" Zack offered easily, violet eyes glancing at the rich fabrics on display. His fingers twitched like he wanted to touch the display and Sephiroth resolved to acquire fabric samples for Zack to play around with at a later date.

The gaze snapped to Zack and Cloud cleared his throat gently, "He's a good friend and he is correct, sir."

"Hmmm," the measuring tape flicked up and into the man's hands, tape twirling in near-impossible measurements. "Red, blue or black?"

Cloud's brain looked like it had screeched to a halt at the suggestion, "I can do that?"

Hnnn, Cloud in red wasn't a thought he'd entertained before but now he most certainly was at the way those blue eyes widened.

"You're more of a blue tone, so yes," he jotted down Cloud's measurements in a neat shorthand, then frowned at both Sephiroth and Zack. "You two need to go to Zeleck's in 2; I can't make your suits."

"... as in the premier tailor for the Executives?!" Zack squeaked out.

As that was absolutely out of a Second's budget, Sephiroth murmured, "I'll foot it," paused and inquired, "Might I ask why there?"

"It's in poor taste for your guest to arrive in the same suit from the same shop."

"Ah." Ettiquette, how he hated it so.

"Shoo, shoo, I know this nice young man can get back by himself. I do need more intimate measurements and those I'll not do in public."

He and Zack traded a long glance with Cloud, who nodded in agreement and they left with a matching about face.

Sephiroth counted down to Zack's eventual griping in three, two—

"That's totally not cool!"

He chuckled, "It is the way things are done in higher echelons,"

"Echelon, schmechelon, he just didn't want more—"

"Zack, I think he was trying to get Cloud alone for a pep talk," he allowed with a wry smile. "He caught on to what we've been doing in a heartbeat. We aren't exactly being subtle here,"

"I..." Zack frowned at that, mid-gesture. "Huh, didn't think of it like that,"

"Hnn, there appears to be one god on our side," he said with a smile.

Chapter Text

Bi-weekly night cuddles had become a thing that Sephiroth adored deeply, pressed as he was against Cloud in a light, long-sleeved sweatshirt while they watched absolutely awful movies suggested by Gen.

There was an extremely long list, as Sephiroth had seen none of them as a child; even Cloud had seen some of them, even in a place as isolated as his home village of Nibelhiem.

It wasn't lost on Sephiroth that the people he enjoyed most were from the Western Continent.

On a particularly bad movie, Sephiroth stole the opportunity to bury his head against Cloud's shoulder to muffle his laughter when a terrible scene appeared on the screen.

Cloud cocked his head to the side, went, "... I don't think that's physically possible but-"

"It isn't. Also, that's not what a Tonberry even remotely looks like, by Ramuh's left tit, where does Gen keep finding these!?" Zack cackled, prompting more laughter from Sephiroth.

"Back alleys and the staff of his favorite LOVELESS show, according to him," Sephiroth filled in, still vibrating with mirth as he watched the movie go from B-Rated to outrageous. "Gen's trying to fill the gaps but he's definitely giving us the Eligor on some of these,"

"They exist," Cloud protested.

"Chocoshit." Zack fired back as he looked down at Cloud from where he was squished between them.

"No, no, in the Train Graveyard in the Slums, swear to Fenrir-"

"Big-ass bladed staff?"

"Creepy mount an' all, I'm tellin' you Zack, it's there,"

"... What's an Eligor?" He blurted into the tense silence, absolutely mystified at the vehement argument going right over his head.

"Oh, you've done it now, they're Zack's favorite monster-" Cloud rolled his eyes as the movie was ignored in favor of expounding on the mythical Eligor, Zack's arms waving about as he walked them through its traits.

Sephiroth resolved to ask a Turk if they'd ever seen it.

Or Kunsel.

Kunsel knew everything.

The blurry but distinct photo that landed on his desk courtesy of Kunsel felt like a victory when he saw Zack next.

Sephiroth came to the conclusion that he ought to be more obvious with Cloud so he started lounging on Cloud. He never put his full weight but he made it clear that whomever Cloud was talking to that they would do their damndest to follow through with whatever Cloud wanted.

The first time he'd done it, Cloud almost let him topple over.

He tried again, lighter that time, and that was accepted so he decide to pass the torch onto Zack.

A concentrated effort to get him used to their more casual touch, then slowly ramping up; as Zack had once put it, placing a frog in cold water and slowly boiling it but with better connotations.

After the fifth, Cloud began to roll with it and sometimes stood chatting with those in his squad or even his superiors. Sephiroth enjoyed the brief look of surprise as the NCOs and Specialists saw who, exactly, was Cloud's shadow.

Sephiroth watched from a distance as Sgt. Johnson took one look, rolled his eyes and muttered, "Get married already, will ya?"

"You're jealous 'cause Kunsel's off on a mission," Cloud absently fired back, reaching up to meet Zack's bare skin. That Cloud sought to reciprocate the touch they offered truly warmed him. "Hi, Zack."

"Damn, how'd you know?!"

"Bare skin," Cloud replied as he moved the same way he did when it was Sephiroth. "Also, you're never more than a floor away from me anyways because I stubbed my toe in my boot the other day and I heard you coming."

That was actually quite impressive, seeing as Sephiroth hadn't had that ability until at least the age of fourteen.

"...Spike, normal people don't hear SOLDIERs from a floor up." Zack emphasized slowly.

Cloud blinked, thought about it and then shrugged before snagging his coffee off his desk. "Okay."

"Strife... I get that you're close friends with Sephiroth but on gods, that is definitely progress towards the SOLDIER Program." Thax snorted. "For someone so full of common sense most of the time, you sure are dumb sometimes."

That was when it hit Cloud, what he'd said. "Oh."

"There we go,"

"Holy shit."

"Yeeeup." Zack patted his helmet gently and offered his arms. Cloud burrowed himself in Zack's chest, his nose pressed against familiar ribbed knit. Sephiroth absolutely refused to be jealous of a piece of clothing but it was close. "Don't worry, when it hit me, Angeal made me run laps until I was exhausted. I'm not  gonna make you run laps."

"... Might help," Cloud blurted, the whites of his eyes far too large to be comfortable.

"Okay, we're gonna go," Zack scooped him up easily and Cloud didn't even fight the touch, proving their campaign successful in more than one way.

Under observation, Cloud ran the course again and again and again, the easy stretch and stride a wonder to watch from a far. Sephiroth practically purred as it began to dawn on Cloud that he was now a SOLDIER.

Gosser tapped his boot as he watched Cloud and Zack try for an assisted handstand. "Well it looks like your Mako absorption rate is high but not for the concentrated dose ShinRa likes to use. You said bi-weekly sessions, right? For about how long?"

"Hour, hour and a half? We use shitty movies as a timer so that way we don't go over what we set previously, sir." Cloud somersaulted forward after the failed handstand, brushing the dirt from his uniform.

"Skin-to-skin?"

"Nah, Cloud's got on a long-sleeve." Zack explained as he got Cloud's back for him, fingers lingering oh so briefly on the play of muscle beneath the shirt.

"Hmm, I'd like for you to get tested by a SOLDIER tech but looks like you're a preliminary Third Class." Gosser replied bluntly. "Congrats, Strife."

Cloud looked like someone had struck him with a Nailbat but the joy was clear even as he wheezed out, "Cuddles, who knew?!"

"Okay, Spike, are we gonna go tell Seph?" Zack prodded gently, "Or are we celebrating later in the dive on the edge of Sector Seven after COD?"

Cloud seemed to shake himself off and murmured, "Better to have it confirmed,"

"Ahh, gonna go see the SOLDIER Technician first, ey? Make it official!"

"... Something like that," Cloud huffed, the smile that threatened to break loose one Sephiroth cherished.

Chapter Text

Alas for Sephiroth, paperwork waited for no General and he was stuck with it for the better part of the day, the thought of Cloud's smile keeping him going long after his frustration hit a wall.

Zack made it through their door on sheer habit, Sephiroth was quite sure.

"He MADE IT HOLY GAIA!" The soundproofing of their apartment was certainly getting it's worth in, he mused dryly as Zack bounced around the living room, into the kitchen and picked up a knife to peel potatoes.

Meditative, he'd once told Sephiroth, and distracting enough that he could use his words properly. "Our cuddle sessions worked! Like really worked out,"

"I see,"

"No, no you don't," Zack fired back even as he peeled the potato in a circle. "He almost beat your time. As a Third,"

"My time? As in my fastest?"

"Well, kinda? He was only two minutes behind your slowest which is still way faster than everyone else." Zack elaborated as he set down the peeled potato to tackle another one. Sephiroth wordlessly began rinsing the potatoes and motioned chopping. "Quarters, I wanna make mashed tonight,"

"That is... impressive,"

"He didn't even know he was doing it," Zack admitted with a shrug.

"He wasn't straining?"

"Hm-mm,"

"Hnn, best to keep Hojo away from him,"

"Don't catch his focus too much," worried violet met soft green.

"Hmph, he's been tinkering on a new pet project, not me," he admitted bluntly. "Something to do with the Firewolves,"

"Poor things don't need his attention but better them than you or Cloud,"

Sephiroth thought of the time he'd run across one; red, young and lanky. "There are so very few," he murmured.

"Can't be more than 100 left? He's doing something awful, I'm sure of it," Zack agreed with a sigh.

"Can't believe I have to call you sir," Thax grimaced as they sat in the Infantry Caf.

Cloud made a sour face from the press of his visible lips. "For the love of all things Holy, please don't." He followed it with what appeared to be a desperate grab at normalcy with, "How's the search for a Ball ticket going?"

"... I still haven't found a SOLDIER who hasn't given his ticket up and Sephiroth dropped one off in your cubicle."

"Johnson, Johnson, Johnson... You're missing the critical point. They've seen under the helmet." Kunsel segued so smoothly into the conversation that even Sephiroth was impressed. Especially since he smelled of straight field work.

"What's under the helmet?"

Cloud snarked, "For them to know and you to find out if a monster breaks the damn thing."

"Oi, Kunsel, that mean you're giving up your title of Helmeted SOLDIER?" Thax teased.

"It's a club," Cloud's mouth clearly moved before his mind did and Sephiroth started on a path towards his friend—hopefully to be something more if he got it right— obliviousness bedamned.

"SOLDIERs Anonymous," Kunsel picked it up, his voice packed with unspoken mirth.

Thax looked between them, squinted and muttered, "I smell Chocoshit."

"No, no, it's a real thing," Zack added, violet eyes wide and bright as he fluttered his lashes. "Promise!"

"SOLDIER's Honor?" came the dry rejoinder.

Zack wrinkled his nose, "Why'd you have to bring that up, Ang already makes me take notes..."

"SOLDIER's Honor, Johnson," Sephiroth agreed with a flat expression, "There are at least three members, one of which now includes Cloud."

Thax's jaw dropped.

Sephiroth wasn't given to jokes, let alone complex ones but this one had landed just so in his metaphorical lap. "Shit seriously?" Sephiroth allowed the smile that was creeping at the corners of his mouth to spread. "Oh you fuckers!"

"Indeed." He shared a brief wink with Cloud, who lost what little composure he had remaining.

The bright laughter made his heart ache in all the right places, for once.

Zeleck's performed the final fittings the week prior to the Ball, Sephiroth's suit a rich blue so dark it was nearly black and Zack in sleek, equally rich purple.

"Ties, gentlemen?"

"No," he replied quietly, adjusting the black button up to his own comfort.

Nothing around the neck; it reminded him too much of his time on the table with Hojo.

"Hmm, red? What was it, blue-based?" Zack asked mostly to himself, touching the silk ties as gently as possible.

"... that certainly is an interesting choice, sir,"

"Is it a clashing choice," Sephiroth stated flatly, bristling faintly on behalf of his beloved.

"Oh, not at all, sir! I assume the lady accompanying him is wearing something of a similar shade?" The associate said sweetly.

"Yes, actually," Zack recovered quickly, giving associate a blinding smile. "She's blonde but her seamstress swore she could wear a blue-based red."

"Ah! I have just the thing, sirs, just the thing~"

"I doubt Cloud will appreciate the obfuscation," he sighed even as he flicked his wrist one last time to get the collar to lay open.

"Nah, bet he won't even noticed my tie," came the snickered reply.

"That is a possibility..." Sephiroth bemoaned their fate.

"Holy fuck, Cloud?!" Zack blurted from across the room and Sephiroth turned to see—

He inhaled sharply, held his breath for a moment and then breathed out slowly.

"Godsdammit, you're the fiftieth person to—" Cloud grumbled as he looked at Zack, "Oh, not you too, what the Hells did Elise do to my face...?"

He flicked open his PHS and took a photo, clearly expecting something bad.

"You clean up well, Strife," Kunsel hummed, helmet still firmly in place.

"Oh thank Fenrir, someone with some sense," he sighed.

"What do you mean by that?" Kunsel inquired.

"I've been carded a record twenty-seven times between here and Sector 5. What is wrong  with people?" He complained as Zack shook his head and leaned against the balcony too.

"Oh, did ShinRa Sr. pay for escorts after all?" The drawl was that of Director Scarlet, which made Cloud whirl on the spot in indignation.

Sephiroth snarled and parted the crowd with an expression not out of place on the battlefield.

"SOLDIER Third Class Strife, Director, not an escort." Sephiroth corrected sharply, "I suspect you're needed elsewhere."

The look he pinned her with was enough to make Cloud shiver but not in fear.

Sephiroth almost purred at the sight of Cloud's flushed cheeks.

Scarlet laughed, the hand over her mouth not shaking but the whites of her eyes too wild to be anything but fearful. "Of course, Sephiroth, I see Heidegger motioning my way."

Her heels thumped against the carpeted floor, the speed at which she ceded the spot to Sephiroth nearly supersonic.

"My apologies, Cloud—" he began only for Cloud to hold up a hand briefly.

Cloud replied with a chuckle, "I think my night was just made by watching Scarlet practically trip over herself trying to get away from the scary Silver Demon of Wutai."

Sephiroth blinked owlishly and Cloud lost it, laughing so hard he squeaked out, "Oh gods, your face!"

He blew out a breath to collect himself while keeping Sephiroth in his peripheral vision.

"Aside from nearly being propositioned by the Director, how do you find the Ball?" Sephiroth inquired as he leaned against the column closest to the interior balcony, attempting the impossible and not staring Cloud down like at least half the crowd was doing.

"Well, I'm irritated because I've been carded from Sector 5 all the way here, everyone I know except Kunsel keeps fumbling their words and I honestly don't understand."

"May I?" Sephiroth offered his PHS, whistling a signal to Zack, who'd made his way across the room whilst socializing with various people.

"I guess," he shrugged.

"Are you certain?" Sephiroth wanted no hesitation and full consent. To do otherwise would be disrespectful of not only their friendship but any future interaction.

Cloud looked up and answered honestly, "I'm not sure but I'm hoping the photo will explain."

"Hn. It will explain much," Sephiroth reassured softly.

"Then yeah, you can take it."

Zack positioned them quickly but efficiently.

"Thank you, Cloud."

The snap made him blink afterwards, leaning against both of them as Sephiroth fiddled with the PHS for a moment.

"Do not look at us, look at the background," he suggested lightly.

Cloud took in the photo as a whole and then at the crowd that had physically parted around all three of them.

"Now look at us,"

Cloud's expression of fond resignation, Zack putting cheesy Mu ears behind his and Sephiroth's head and grinning fit to burst. Sephiroth's arm was draped over them both, Cloud tucked between them and protected.

"Huh, okay,"

Sephiroth wondered what he'd done in a past life to be fending off admirers of someone he and Zack both had an eye on.

He was certainly going to need another drink after this.

Chapter Text

Another drink had lead to at least three more and while not entirely drunk, he certainly was a shade past tipsy and Cloud...

Well, Cloud was right there, within arm's reach and as stunning as the day Sephiroth had pulled off his helmet.

He waited for the objection when he curled around Cloud for most of the night, sharing forehead bumps with Zack when he wandered close enough and had himself, unbelievably, a genuinely good time.

He supposed it was all in the company he kept.

"... Sephiroth seemed tipsy; he kept holding my hand and snuggling close. I had to manhandle them both into bed but I left painkillers and water so they're not hungover in the morning."

Thax cracked the biggest grin at the sight of Sephiroth approaching and Cloud huffed in clear irritation.

"Johnson,"

"... Sir."

"Kindly fuck off," he said bluntly, the slight sting of the residual hangover dulled by Cloud's thoughtful approach the night prior.

The water and the medication, SOLDIER-strength, had gone a long way towards soothing his dry mouth and not quite splitting headache.

"Roger that, sir."

"My sincerest apologies for our actions last night, Cloud."

"Hey, what are friends for, Seph?" He gently teased, offering one of the reserve thermoses he'd ordered. "Here, this should help with any lingering-"

Sephiroth found himself smiling at Cloud and Cloud flushed under the visor. He nearly purred, "Would you come with me?"

He held up his finger briefly, downed the rest of his coffee and tossed the paper cup before he nodded. "Of course."

The lobby of Floor 62 was whisper quiet so early after the ball, just the two of them and the guard.

The guard took one look at Sephiroth, got on the elevator and closed the doors, the golden shimmer of a security trio (Silence, Libra, Shield) snapping into place around the lobby.

The man had seen his confession with Zack and probably hadn't cared for a round two of the enthusiastic kissing they'd gotten up to in the lobby post-get-together.

"Seph?" Cloud's helmet sat off to the side, Sephiroth pacing in a tight oval of the lush space, waiting for Zack.

Beloved his Puppy might be, he was also notoriously late for important matters. "I'm waiting,"

"For?"

Ah, there he was, violet eyes stunning against the green of Floor 62. Soon, hopefully, he might have two pairs of eyes to look forward to in the morning.

"Spikey!" Zack chirruped before he spotted him pacing, "Oh for Typhoon's sake, Seph,  sit down."

Sephiroth had a hopeful feeling that perhaps after today, they could be more than friends, that he could cradle the back of the lovely blond spikes and kiss away.

"Do you remember the meteor shower?" Sephiroth asked as he perched on the chair in front of Cloud, butterflies fluttering approximately where his stomach would be.

"Of course," he managed, looking terrified. Shit, were they doing this wrong all over again?

"... Was there a part of you that wanted more?" Zack prodded gently.

"More?" This time the question was practically wooden in its despair.

Oh.

Oh dear.

"I... I'm not good at this," Sephiroth finally said outright as he reached for Cloud. "May I?"

Cloud uncurled his fingers and offered his hands, still so trusting that they wouldn't hurt him.

Such a gentle, careful friend who was deeply fond of him, which would feel all the more wonderful when he joined them in bonds other than friendship.

Sephiroth leaned forward, Cloud mirrored him and then squeaked when lips met his own.

Sephiroth removed himself with great speed, tongue darting out to taste what was likely the only kiss he'd ever get, the faint scent of spearmint making him blurt, "I never intended offense, Cloud—"

"Hold on a sec, Seph, think we might've broken him," Zack soothed, motioning that he actually look at Cloud.

The gears seemed to turn, rustily at first and then—

His tongue darted out to taste, the scent making him breathe quicker.

"Do it again," he demanded, something shifting in his expression.

"... the kiss?" Sephiroth hesitantly offered.

"Yeah,"

Sephiroth reached out to cradle his face, awed and overjoyed that Cloud would allow him a second kiss, a second chance and kissed like he'd meant to the first time around.

Cloud leaned into it, gasping as he ran out of air and Sephiroth released him only as far as to look into eyes that he would gladly drown in.

"Again," Cloud panted, cheeks flushing red as it finally, finally seemed to fall into place.

Bahamut, but he'd had to work for that realization!

"My turn?" Zack questionined with a teasing grin.

"Uh-huh," he breathed.

They definitely  were trying to get him in thier bed, already more than halfway into their hearts.

Somehow they'd ended up how they cuddled on the couch to watch the shitty movies, Cloud pressed between them as they touched as much of each other as they could take.

"... How bad is it that I thought you were trying to let me down about being friends?" The frisson of shock was one Sephiroth valiantly suppressed.

"Cloud, buddy, you need some serious therapy but-" and here Zack gently stroked his cheekbones, doing what Sephiroth wanted to, "we'd never take you to our own confession spot and kiss you if we didn't want to associate with you anymore."

"Oh."

"Gods, when you showed up in that suit, I almost kissed you then and there. You were, ridiculously, even hotter than you already were." Zack confessed outright.

"Seph?"

"Zack calls it cave-man mode but I wanted to keep you safe from prying eyes," here Sephiroth cleared his throat, remembering the way Cloud' suit had clung so beautifully to his wiry frame, "and perhaps kiss you senseless."

"Speaking of cave-man! Cessnei let me watch the CCTV of your trip from Sector 5 to HQ and by Odin's balls did you turn heads the entire way. Five crashes, at least three broken bones and a head injury from fainting—" Zack gleefully interjected.

Cloud scoffed, pillowing his cheek against Sephiroth's shoulder, "No way,"

Sephiroth started purring subsonically, the scent of his two favorite people bringing him great joy.

"Yes way, and when asked, they said that they'd been distracted by a stunning demi-God in a suit," Zack stuck his tongue out and Cloud leaned in for a kiss, laughing into it as Zack fell silent. "What?"

"Finally found an inventive way to distract you," Cloud absolutely poked fun as he peppered tiny kisses over the scar.

"Oh Spike, you do that by breathing,"

"I'm..." Cloud tugged at his scarf, his helmet long removed in the face of the confession. "I'm trying to figure out why."

Seph and Zack traded a long look, one that spoke a thousand words or more, most of which boiled down to the fact that Cloud was gorgeous, talented in multiple aspects and absolutely, insanely had zero self-confidence in anything but his own skills. Both of them sighed at the fact that they might get to see him grow as a person but that they had him now and that was what mattered most. "What?"

"Cloud, I keep no company other than what I enjoy in my spare time. I sought you out." He clarified easily.

"I thought that was how you did things, how you hung out." Cloud blurted, flushing delightfully afterwards.

"I do not deliberately cease texting with Genesis nor Angeal to spend time with them. We are a well-oiled unit of friendship and often we speak the same way Zack and I spoke just now. I am not as familiar with you but I would like to be," Sephiroth laid out quietly, "I value your insight above most of my subordinates. I cannot, for the life of me, forget any of our interactions."

"So what happened with the PHS?" came the distracted question as rough, calloused fingertips skipped over his chest belts and brushed the skin on his chest.

Sephiroth flushed, admitted earnestly, "I wanted to kiss you then; you so rarely smile but when you do, it was as though Midgar had cleared of fog."

Sephiroth resigned himself to being dumbstruck for the majority of this relationship, if for nothing other than the fact that Cloud was willing.

"And the sunrise?" He prodded Zack, who wasn't looking at them to give them some measure of privacy.

"Gods, that really flew right over your head? I was trying  to be romantic and watch the sunrise together."

"Gestures are important," came the realization. "It's how you show your affection."

"Yours is time together so we, ah, we tried to compromise?" Zack hazarded with a shrug.

"... How long have the two of you been together?" Ah, that he'd been anticipating!

Zack cackled, "Honestly, almost a year but godsdamn if it didn't take us just as long to figure out we were trying to be romantic instead of platonic."

"It certainly didn't help that our friends thought it was funny that we were pining after one another." Sephiroth grumbled, "I had no idea what I was doing."

"So all three of us are kind of making it up as we go along?" Cloud summarized.

That; that right there was what would make him a spectacular SOLDIER and an even better lover.

"Kinda," Zack replied before he stopped short of Cloud's forehead. "Kiss?"

"Yeah," familiar slightly chapped lips pressed to Cloud's forehead. "Why do you ask?"

"Y'know, despite being ShinRa's poster boy, Seph's had a lot of shit done to him without his consent." Zack said solemnly, no trace of his usual self and one even Sephiroth didn't see very often. "So if I can, I ask as much as I can and I take 'No' as a full sentence."

"So if I'd said no to the photo...?" He paused, looked up into Sephiroth's eyes and he smiled at Cloud.

"I would have accepted it at face value. Not everyone enjoys having their photo taken." Sephiroth mentioned as he telegraphed his arm movement. Cloud happily tucked himself against Sephiroth's right side, damn near close to purring as Zack bracketed him on the other side.

"... Thanks for asking." He murmured, snuggling closer and Sephiroth found himself purring louder in response.

"Of course, Cloud."

Chapter Text

Work that day was impossible, the taste of Cloud and Zack lingering on his lips like a kiss all on it's own.

"Care to share, General?" Hojo prodded and Sephiroth suddenly began to smile.

The same smile his enemies saw before they died on Masamune—nevermind the fact that those that saw it didn't survive the blade.

"In great detail, if you prefer, Professor Hojo, but I doubt the subject would be pleasing to anyone but myself,"

"Nevermind,"

"Such a shame, Professor, I was looking forward to it—"

"For the love of Gaia, keep your family spats off of my executive table," ShinRa snapped at both of them and Sephiroth's smile began to show teeth. "General, you're dismissed, the matters set before SOLDIER are clear enough."

"Thank you, Mr. President," he replied graciously, exiting the room with the same predatory stalk he used in the field to part from the company he hated so.

"Must you prod so at our best and brightest, Professor," Lazard huffed, "we need him to not stab you out of sheer—" the door clicked closed but Sephiroth laughed anyway.

Everyone always forgot about SOLDIER hearing.

Sephiroth's feet found a path to their shared apartment, contentment despite his long day in every step.

"Hi," Zack grinned as he looked at Sephiroth from the couch, "caught me a little Cloud on the way back from Prelim Third training,"

Cloud, who looked like he'd been kissed senseless, flushed as he met Sephiroth's gaze from where he was in Zack's lap.

"Hmm, a very cute Cloud," he murmured as he kicked of his boots with a well-practiced flick.

He offered his hands after he'd shucked his duster, his pauldrons and his gloves, pulling on a well-worn t-shirt which had been stolen from Zack's good laundry pile.

"Hi," worry still lingered in the blue, blue eyes of his new beloved. "Is... is this okay?"

"Do you still find me disingenuous?" He chuckled softly, lacing thier hands when Cloud reached for them. "I have no worries about you and Zack kissing, if that's what you're asking. I, hn, find it quite a lovely sight, frankly speaking,"

The blush that spread from that had him looking at Cloud with a fond expression. "We do our best to tell no lies, Cloud, so we do want you here, with us,"

"Lemme up," Zack grunted, "gotta tinkle,"

Cloud fell backwards on the settee as Zack wiggled out from under him, pulling Sephiroth with by accident, "Zack!"

"Gotta tinkle!"

"What are we, five?" Cloud grumbled before he seemed to realize how close Sephiroth's face was to his own. "Hello again,"

"It's what I like to call a Zackism," Sephiroth teased.

"'Whatever!'" Zack countered from the bathroom over the sounds of him washing his hands.

They both laughed at that, Cloud squeaking minutely as Sephiroth's leg slipped off the floor and pressed against his body. "Ah, my apologies, I'll mo—Oh?"

Cloud's flush was still there but he appeared to be trying something new. "Just... just surprised,"

"No is a full sentence Spike and just because you liked it with me doesn't mean you have to offer it again," Zack pointed out as he exited the bathroom with the hand towel hanging from one of his hands.

"I wouldn't mind moving," he offered gently.

"No, no, I want it," Cloud huffed, sliding his thumb across the back of Sephiroth's left hand, his brows furrowing as he seemed to hunt for the right words. "I... just can't believe it, sometimes, that I got this lucky,"

Ah.

That again, still learning that this wasn't just some fling they wanted.

"Cloud,"

"Hm?"

"May I kiss you?"

"Yeah,"

He kissed soft and slow and gently worried at Cloud's bottom lip until it was slightly swollen from his attentions. "I want this, want you for as long as you'll have me pretty wolf-resistant country bumpkin,"

Cloud blurted, "Say that again,"

"Don't believe it or did you want an ego boost?" He teased so softly that Cloud laughed.

"... Feels like a dream today," he mentioned, still cradling Sephiroth's head.

"Mn, there is that," he admitted freely, "but this isn't a dream because if it was, I could be chasing you across the obstacle course and seeing how fast you are,"

"Huh?"

"Zack said you almost beat my time as a Third," he challenged.

"Wait, seriously!?" Sephiroth sat up to avoid the flailing of Cloud's hands and grinned at the indignant tone. "... are you up for that?"

"Let's go,"

Fast, was Sephiroth's first thought, followed by, godsbedamned show-stoppingly gorgeous when Cloud got something right.

He lit up, the zeal and passion making Sephiroth want to kiss him all over again.

"Kiss?" Zack asked first and Cloud wrinkled his nose.

"But 'm sweaty an' gross an—"

"You smell absolutely divine," Sephiroth purred as he boxed Cloud in from behind. Beguiless blue eyes locked onto his and he quietly continued, "If it was of no consequence, I'd happily kiss you senseless out here."

"But—"

"We're trying to make sure no one says that you, ah, slept your way up the SOLDIER ladder, Spike,"

"That's a thing?!"

"You're entirely too gorgeous and with the way ShinRa works..."

"They would, wouldn't they?" Cloud summarized with a frown.

"Mn,"

"Said that about me when I was with Angeal," Zack snorted, "said I slept my way up and into Seph's bed,"

"Gross," Cloud made a face at that but started walking, fingertips brushing back to touch their own.

"The fact that I beat them within an inch of an Elixir healing didn't help the fact," Sephiroth grumbled, "but it certainly died down after that,"

"So, get to Second on my own merit first?"

"Then I will be more than happy to kiss you in both public and private but until then, it is for all three of our sakes that you do so," he replied easily.

Cloud grew by leaps and bounds over the other Thirds, Sephiroth's promise apparently lending him the fortitude to complete the difficult course.

"'Who is that? He's terrifying!'"

"'Third Class Strife, hangs out with Commander Fair and Commander Kunsel,'"

"'Fights like a damn demon,'"

"Saw him putting in schematics to SOLDIER R&D and then asking to check out their alloys for the blades,'"

Sephiroth heard all of this and smiled with pride each time his beloved was mentioned.

"Schematics with SOLDIER R&D?"

"Its... a surprise for when I hit Second?" Cloud didn't dance around it so much as to avoid the subject partially. "Kunsel knows and is keeping it safe for me,"

"Oh?"

"I'm working on my sword style,"

"Mn, looking forward to it then," he hummed as Cloud sidled close and Sephiroth raised his arm.

"Thank you, promise it's worth the wait,"

"You were worth the wait, I'm sure this is too," he replied absently as he chopped leeks to go into the potato soup for thier shared weekly dinner that night.

"I—you—Stop that!" Cloud spluttered magnificently at his simple acknowledgment.

"Stop what? You were worth it and you continue to be one of the delights in my life,"

"Oh my gods, you giant sap," Cloud grumbled against his chest, the deep seated scent of affection washing over them both.

"Light of my life, can you rinse the leek please?"

Zack caught on and replied, "Of course, snookums!"

"Oh my gods, stop—" Cloud rolled his eyes and pulled away to help Zack rinse the leek.

The first time Cloud dared to kiss Sephiroth after he made Second—properly—they were waiting in line to get on the transport. Thier fingers linked as Cloud swayed on his feet.

This particular mission had run longer than planned, almost a full 96 hours post mission, and Cloud was so far beyond exhaustion that he'd circled back to it.

"Hey Seph?" He sleepily prodded, cheek mashed against his silver pauldrons as though it were a particularly uncomfortable pillow.

"Hn."

"Kiss?"

Sephiroth obligingly leaned down, Cloud taking his time to kiss him as thoroughly as possible.

He purred into it, happy to enjoy his freedom to kiss with joy and no shame.

Several wolf whistles broke the moment before Cloud wordlessly snarled in reply before he turned back to Sephiroth.

The second kiss was gentler, Sephiroth's manner of reassurance. Cloud purred and Sephiroth's own redoubled at the sound, "May I lift you?"

"Mm-mn." His protest was merely a front, the exhaustion beginning to take hold.

"You're certain?"

"... go ahead." The tired, resigned manner in which he'd said it made Sephiroth aware that his lover was going to pass out on the transport home, motion sickness or not.

He'd have to keep a close eye on his new beloved for signs of the exhaustion which had once brought them together.

He swept Cloud up in one smooth motion, clipping the standard ShinRa blade to his back as they waited for the secondary transport.

""Oh look, the General's got a toy SOLDIER,""

""Uh, dude, don't—""

""Smith, seriously—""

""Picked him up like a stuffed toy and everything—""

"If it were not for the fact that Second Class Strife rested in my arms, yours would be removed great force." Sephiroth snarled lowly, the look he pinned Squad Echo with one that he didn't use often enough if they thought it was safe to harp on what was his. He quietly sneered above his beloved with, "He is still getting treatments done. This will be his third mission with this parameter in half as many months. He is, quite frankly, exhausted. That he trusts me enough to pick him up and leave him defenseless is proof that he is a better SOLDIER than you will ever amount to, Second Class Smith."

The area closest to the transport became filled with the clink and jangle of transport gear as the platoon fell silent.

Rare was his disappointment but rarer still was Sephiroth's tacit disapproval. He would be taking them to task upon returning to ShinRa HQ.

Cloud smiled viciously against the leather as he murmured, "Techically, you can remove one of them. We were  facing quite a few flights of Griffins, sir." Smith inhaled sharply as he continued blithely, "That or just do both and blame it on a Grand Horn. We are their territory."

Laughter came from Delta Squad, Major Wolf offering, "He's got you there, Smith."

"Still as bloodthirsty as ever, ey, mountain man?" Gosser teased with a wiggle of his auburn brows.

"Only if they deserve it, sir." Cloud fired back, his filter apparently gone with the exhaustion. As Cloud himself had once put it, the field of fucks was barren.

"You're fair at least," Gosser mentioned, "Just, do me a favor and save me for last when you decide you wanna spar?"

"Can do, sir."

"Do I detect a hint of fear, Gosser?" Wolf prodded. "You normally love challenging the newbies."

"Fuck yeah you do, Strife's terrifying. He keeps up with Sephiroth  in the speed department." Gosser hissed.

The door of the transport clanged open and the platoon filed in, Sephiroth settling in last.

"Sir?" Wolf inquired, his unspoken question as to why he was on the end an easy one to answer.

"Strife has motion sickness."

"Ah." Wolf murmured, "Thank you for keeping the rest of us in mind in case Strife, er, ralfs?"

Cloud lifted his head, looking faintly green already, "Ralfing is...mn... polite, sir,"

"Relax, kid, I'm not like those assholes in Echo," Wolf replied with a shrug.

Chapter Text

Cloud showed up to their weekly spar one morning with his own surprise.

The sword he'd commissioned from SOLDIER R&D; rather, the swords.

Multiple ones.

"Hey, Seeeeph," he drawled out, the rich Nibel accent making Sephiroth purr. "I'm gonna go kick some ass, did you want to watch?"

"Squad Echo, I take it?" He chuckled dryly.

"Oh yeah,"

"Mn, I'll gladly watch that match, Cloud,"

The first strike right out of the gate was so swift as to take everyone aback, himself included.

He hadn't even seen Cloud move,let alone draw another sword within the span of two breaths.

Smith had relied on drilled-in training over his own ability because the blade was flat on as Cloud crashed through the meager defense he'd managed at the last moment.

"'Toy SOLDIER', huh?" Cloud breathed softly, the rising threat in his tone making Sephiroth slowly begin to smile.

Trust his Wolf-Resistant beloved to be as tough as the wolves he claimed.

"Oh fuck,"

"Oh, you will be," Cloud followed with a grin that showed all of his teeth, the gleam of them in the florescent light terrifying.

Before anyone had taken the next breath, Cloud had leveraged his momentum against his second blade to kick Smith in the chest.

It landed like the Chocobo everyone always teased Cloud about but the muffled snap was audible to everyone.

His beloved pulled back, the blades in his hands going—Clang!Click!— as he pulled out the third blade, this one nearly even with what Sephiroth assumed was the main one.

Sephiroth watched the rest of the match, the deep subsonic purr that rumbled from him satisfaction in every breath.

Cloud had only needed a confidence boost before he started his journey as one of the best SOLDIERs ShinRa would ever see.

Smith was wheezing by the end of the spar and Cloud, much to Sephiroth's chagrin and everyone else's, had pulled his hits.

Sephiroth wondered if Cloud knew his own strength or wasn't trying to actively kill his coworker so much as teach him a valuable lesson.

"... We good now?" Cloud asked quietly as he equipped a Mastered Curaga.

"Yeah," Smith's breath hitched in, "yeah, sounds good.... to me."

"..." the blaze of green healed instantly, the dried blood the only evidence of the heavy spar. "Hate fighting,"

Smith's jaw dropped.

Sephiroth kept his closed by virtue of being in public but it hung by the barest thread.

"Spike, what did you mean...?" Zack asked for them both after Cloud was meticulously cleaning the blades he'd used on Smith and then all of the rest.

Cloud sighed softly, "... got bullied as a kid. Ma taught me how to hit hard and hit well enough to injure but not kill. She used to be a hunter, y'know," the blue, blue eyes held a wash of bitterness. "No matter how hard I hit, they still had at me."

"Oh, Spike..." Zack offered his arms after Cloud put up his blades and his kit. Cloud slid right into them and Seph boxed him in, checking with a raised eyebrow that recieved a nod in reply. "I take it something happened?"

"Ma said to never let them get you angry,"

"... precisely how did you end up with the name of Wolf-Resistant, beloved?" His heart ached for the thought of Cloud alone, defending himself again all comers.

"They wrapped me up in a blanket and dumped me into a Nibel Wolf den," he sighed, snuggling close, "I got out and then I went for them, still covered in Wolf blood. Ma blocked my way, shoved a glaive in my hand and sent me back up the mountain and told me to go work it off while she had a 'chat' with the parents; basically boiled down to, if their kids messed with me again, she would let me live up to her family name instead of my Da's."

"And your Ma is a Lancer," Zack shuddered.

"Explain?" Sephiroth inquired, "I know Lancers have a reputation for being efficient and to the point, deadly when... Oh."

"Mn," Cloud agreed with a wry twist of his lips. "Ma had the right of it, I take more after her than Da,"

"... is he a no-go subject?" Sephiroth asked gently.

"He passed away when I was little, I don't really remember that much," Cloud shrugged. "But, to answer your question, I don't like fighting unless I have to and I'll put an end to it quick as possible if it's not a spar. Smith was the former but I had to make a point to the rest of the Seconds."

"So you put him in his place as swiftly and as brutally as possible so you wouldn't have to do it again," Sephiroth summarized with a hum of understanding. "The massive rumor mill at ShinRa will take care of the rest,"

"Sounds about right," he replied quietly, "this is nice though,"

"Like our old cuddle days! Oh my gods, you really were that oblivious!" Zack cooed as he gestured to the way the three of them had fallen into old habits.

Cloud was in Zack's lap with Sephiroth's leg draped over his and the position, when he actually thought about it made him laugh.

"My my but that's an interesting shade of red, beloved, did it connect?"

"Oh my gods," Cloud scrubbed at his cheeks and then looked up hopefully. "Kiss?"

"Mine or Zack's?" He chuckled softly.

"Don't care—Hey!" Zack laughed against the skin on the side of Cloud's neck, having nipped at the flushed skin. "What are we, teenagers?"

"Can neck like 'em, if you'd like!"

"Oh my gods," the mirth in his voice set Sephiroth to laughing.

Truly, Cloud brought him much joy.

When Cloud offered to spar with him, properly, he was ecstatic.

He sharpened Masamune to a keen edge, practiced with Angeal, Genesis and Zack in preparation for the weekly spar they'd shared since Cloud had finally made Second.

They started back-to-back, took ten-by-ten paces and then charged.

The magnificent clash had Sephiroth grinning behind his blade.

Cloud didn't hold back against him and he met every strike with just as much glee as Sephiroth.

Both of them used the courtyard walls to springboard off of, planning their next strike within seconds even as Cloud yelped as he dodged the singing blade of Masamune. "Hey!"

"Sorry," the grin Sephiroth sported was immediately matched as Cloud grinned right back as it became—

–Dodge-parry-jump-strike-strike-DODGE-strike!–

They locked blades, Cloud panting with effort as he asked, "Kiss?"

–jump-whirl-block-parry—

"Yes." He agreed, mostly because he wanted this kiss and Cloud used a secondary blade to lock them in place for the filthiest kiss yet, Sephiroth licking at his lips for the taste as Cloud sent him ass-over-teakettle with his new-found leverage. "Good!"

Cloud laughed as he allowed Sephiroth to loom, giggling as he was kissed repeatedly for his interesting tactics.

"Guess-ehehe-snik!-you-ehehe-snik!-enjoyed-snik!-that?"

"Very much but alas, such a tactic I'll have you reserve for myself and Zack," he murmured wryly, valiantly suppressing his amusement but not succeeding, judging by the way Cloud's eyes filled with the same mirth.

"Noted," Cloud replied with a shit-eating grin of his own, "...Kiss?"

Sephiroth threw his head back for a full-throated laugh, absolutely, obliging the ridiculous request with as tender a kiss as possible.

"For you? Always,"

Chapter Text

When he pulled the move with Zack not even a full 72 hours later, Sephiroth could only shake his head.

"Sir, ah, aren't you and...?"

"Do I look displeased, Smith?" He countered with a raised brow. Smith's jaw dropped. Sephiroth gently shut it with one finger, pulled back and stated point blank, "Yes both, yes I like them that way and no, not looking anywhere else,"

"Noted, sir," Smith managed after several moments of silence. Sephiroth figured he was processing the implications behind it all.

"Hmph,"

"Ah, sir?"

"... Speak freely,"

"How close was I to getting my ass beaten by Commander Fair and yourself, sir?"

Sephiroth snorted, "I was, admittedly, tempted to follow through with Strife's initial threat but I'm not wasting an already trained asset for my personal feelings," he paused and then continued, "does mean I enjoyed watching Strife kicking your ass, though, probably more than was officially sanctioned."

Smith winced but nodded in agreement.

"Rest assured, Commander Fair has also let go of any possible grudge due to said spar,"

Smith blanched and then cleared his throat, "Thank you, sir, noted sir... May I be dismissed, sir?"

"Dismissed,"

Getting back from a mission long sanctioned by Hojo, Sephiroth was looking forward to a rather quiet night in with his beloved people.

He was not expecting for the apartment to be completely empty and a note explaining that Cloud was over with Angeal after an upsetting morning with Hojo.

Sephiroth snarled at the mention of his Father, how dare he even touch Cloud.

His Wolf-Resistant country bumpkin.

He crumpled the note, slung his pack to the couch and stalked towards Angeal's place, closing his door quietly as to not break something he actually liked.

Sephiroth opened the door with his own password, only to step into Cloud expounding on a way to take out Hojo.

Take him out.

As it if it were a thing one did on a regular basis.

Sephiroth wondered if it was possible to fall more in love with someone and found his answer plain and clear, much like Cloud's country sense.

"... real trouble is getting his permission, I guess," Gen gestured with his mug of tea, the special can't-kill-people-how-about-a-cup kind that had a distinct smell to it.

Chamomile, Angeal had once said, was good for calming nerves.

"What are w—" Sephiroth walked over to glance at the plan, if plan it was; he read down the page, his eyes widening at the thoroughness. "... You'd really do that? For me?"

When Cloud reached out, Sephiroth linked their fingers out of sheer habit as he answered softly, "Of course, Seph. We've got it all sorted. Zack's working on our other lynchpin, Cessnei. We want your permission to show these to a select board of people, not the public but a... How did you put it, Angeal?"

"A ShinRa public, one that would cement Hojo's title and livelihood forfeit." Angeal encompassed a quick circle rather then motioning to the whole company.

" When the war of the beasts brings about the world's end," Genesis countered with a snort. "You all do realize that the Turks are likely to stage a coup at some point?"

"Hence Cessnei and her request to hold the coup until after Sephiroth is freed of the dragon dung," Cloud pointed out what looked like secondary plans on another table.

"If I'm freed, I'll happily help with the coup to place ShinRa Jr. on the President's chair," Sephiroth bluntly offered.

He would relish in at least stabbing the President or Hojo. The thought briefly surfaced that Masamune might be long enough for both if he was careful about the angle.

"I'll text Zack that," Angeal tapped away at his PHS diligently, his speed decent for once.

Angeal hated the PHS and it's small buttons.

A knock on the door had Cloud pulling away to gather everything up and tuck it away neatly into a single binder.

Genesis glanced from Cloud to the now empty table and immediately set his mug on the table, settling next to it with kicked up legs. "Now I see why Gosser calls you terrifying."

It was Zack with the last co-conspirator involved, likely Cessnei and... Tseng?

Tseng stated carefully, "We'll prevent the coup," here he paused, "however, we have a condition of our own."

"Oh?"

"We need something from the slums and none of us can fetch it so it needs to be either Zack-" here the man gave Zack a disparaging look, "or the mastermind."

Cloud mulled it over, stroked his thumbs over the warm mug Angeal had just handed him and countered, "No people."

The man grimaced. "She's technically not-"

"She? Just exactly how important is this poor woman that none of you can retrieve her?"

Cessnei added wryly, "She knows all of us even when we send in trainees."

"Fine but if she comes anywhere near Hojo, I get dibs on killing him." Cloud agreed.

"... Deal."

While Cloud went off to retrieve this poor woman, Sephiroth turned to Tseng.

"Precisely why did you need this person?"

"... That's class—"

"That is my beloved Wolf you sent down, explain yourself," Sephiroth snarled, his already thin patience snapping.

"... She's... an Ancient."

Genesis sucked in a sharp breath.

"She is the only one to lead us to The Promised Land and Rufus seeks to undo his Father's misery, starting with her," Tseng sighed, "She can fix it,"

The unspoken, she must rang loud and clear.

"You know her," he accused.

"No, she would refuse my request, as she has for the last decade," Tseng countered bitterly.

A call and response.

He couldn't break his loyalty for ShinRa but he could pretend to ask her.

Hmph.

"Hence my Wolf,"

"Hence... Third Class Strife,"

"Joy," he snarked, taking a pointed sip of his tea.

In the clusterfuck that followed Cloud's entry into ShinRa's Presidential Suite, Sephiroth learned three things:

One, Masamune was—in fact—long enough to shish-kebab not only the President but Hojo too.

Sephiroth relished the twist of the blade a little more than usual.

Two, Aerith was a delight and she had masterful control over a Mastered Revive Materia.

And finally? That Sephiroth could take turns with everyone in the Suite to drop kick Hojo out the Executive Office window and his body would be ferried back up by Director Tuesti's Urban Solution Elevator.

The man had a spine of mithril, not steel, and was the perfect man to keep Rufus Jr. in line.

If Sephiroth ever caught the Summon that had messed with the Executive Guard roster, he might kiss them full on the mouth.