Chapter Text
Ranboo was excited. Very excited, in fact.
Years had led to this moment. A moment so vital to his happiness that he simply couldn’t pass it up.
Ranboo had finally applied to Taco Bell.
With his pipe-dream achieved, Ranboo excitedly sped through the day of the interview. Schoolwork, housework, garden work, work, work, work, completed in a flash over his elated frenzy.
His mind raced as he hurriedly biked past cars parked in the dedicated bike lane. His application process had been tiring, despite how simple it seemed from beyond. How hard could it be to fill out basic tax information? To Ranboo’s surprise, it was significantly harder than one might think.
To his relief, it was finally over. Today was the Interview. And frankly, Ranboo wasn’t sure he had ever been quite this excited before.
In the past, he had heard worker horror stories of fast food chains. Food poisoning, lawsuits, terrible wages, disgusting working conditions, awful cheese.
But Ranboo knew Taco Bell was different.
He didn’t have any journal articles as evidence, he doubted anyone did, but he surely had one thing: his experience. And Ranboo was certainly experienced.
Upon seeing the neon yellow sign signifying his arrival, he hopped off his bike at the sidewalk, lugging it along. Ranboo quickly chained his bike to the nearest stand. Scanning his surroundings, he smiled. He was home.
Tubbo watched as yet another teenage applicant walked through the metal restaurant doorframe. Spaced out, he barely registered their entrance, just that they had appeared. Out of the corner of his eye, he noticed them look around, confused.
Oh no. They were approaching him.
Tubbo attempted to look vaguely professional. Unfortunately, it was hard to do so in a frog hoodie and plastic antlers.
“Hey, um, do you know where, uh… the interviews are? Like, for a job here?” The guy spoke softly, though it might have seemed so due to the great distance between their head and Tubbo’s. They were freakishly tall—too tall, in Tubbo’s opinion.
Tubbo stared for a second, trying to regain at least a small percentage of his brain power. It was too late for this.
“Uh, yeah,” he replied slowly. “That big door near the counter bit. Just wait in the break room.” He pointed towards the door.
That did not seem to ease the guy’s confusion.
“Oh, okay—“ they stuttered. “I’ll just— Bye, thank you—“ They walked towards the door, pausing. They looked around the restaurant one last time before slowly opening the door and walking inside.
Crap. What the hell. This whole ordeal had been a mistake.
Ranboo knew something was wrong as soon as he entered the Taco Bell. He thought it had just been his anxiety, but no. He had to mess up yet again.
He had applied to the wrong location.
He knew his memory wasn’t the best. He knew that in practice, relying on his recognition of names or dates or addresses was not a good idea. But he didn’t think he could manage to plan for something this stupid, let alone actually follow through with it.
How he hadn’t noticed an enormous difference in distance during his ride here, he didn’t know. He had been blinded by his pure adoration of Taco Bell and his excitement over finally applying.
He couldn’t just tell the manager how badly he had screwed up, could he? He knew he couldn’t just not show up to the interview. He could completely mess up his chances of working at a Taco Bell in the future. He simply couldn’t take a risk that dire.
So here he was. Condemned to hoping that he wouldn’t get the job of his dreams. Condemned to hoping that he would somehow be able to get a job at a closer Taco Bell, despite not getting one at another location.
Well. Ranboo was screwed.
He heard a loud screech that snapped him from his thoughts. Apparently, walking and overthinking had led him straight into a metal chair.
Ranboo sat down, waiting for a manager or anyone who didn’t know how stupid he was.
To his distress, no one appeared.
It had been thirty minutes. Thirty long, agonizing minutes. And no one had entered the room Ranboo had stared at for thirty long, long, long minutes.
He seemed to be the last applicant. No wonder, given how far he must have biked to get there. He hoped he forgot about that particular mistake. It was painful, really, the embarrassment he felt over it.
He’d been staring at the floor for too long. The patterns were beginning to melt together, a strange patchwork that always seemed to form when he looked at something for an extended period of time. Glancing up to avoid zoning out, Ranboo noticed a small television playing from the opposite end of the tiled room. The looping Crunch Supreme commercial was certainly an experience to behold.
It was cold.
He’d been too confident. He couldn’t do this. The screen seemed wrong. The floor seemed off. Ranboo pulled his hoodie strings. It was too cold.
And what happened when he didn’t get the job? This was his last chance. His only chance. He couldn’t go back to summers alone. Cold summers.
It was cold.
Suddenly, the door to Ranboo’s left swung open.
“Oh! Hello! I’m so sorry for the wait, I didn’t think anyone was still here!”
A head curtained by dark bangs and a gray beanie had popped through the door.
Ranboo struggled to respond for a moment. It was still cold.
“Uh, hi,” he said, after a moment.
“Hi! Do you still want to do the interview today? It’s getting pretty late,” the head replied.
“Oh— Yes, I think that’s… yes, thank you.” Despite how terribly the Interview might go, Ranboo did not want to delay the end of this ordeal.
“Okay! Just make sure you have everything ready!”
He hoped his mind didn’t count.
Alex Quackity was not ready for a six o’clock interview. To his knowledge, there had been no interviews scheduled after five. But when he had seen how worried that kid in the break room had looked, he couldn’t really turn them down.
As they walked through the door after him, they glanced around the room nervously. Whatever they were expecting, it wasn’t very pleasant. Quackity needed to change that.
“Well, take a seat!” He gestured to one of the two chairs facing his desk. “So, I’d like to preface this interview with a couple basic things, nothing to be worried about though, I just figured you’d like to know before starting.” Quackity paused, clearing his throat. “Firstly, I’m Alexis—but please, just call me Quackity, everyone does—and I’m the location manager here. What’s your name?”
The kid adjusted their position in the cushioned chair across from Quackity. They didn’t look any less nervous. But slowly, they responded.
“I’m, uh, R— Ranboo,” they replied softly.
“And what are your pronouns? I’d prefer not to mess up. Mine are he/him, for reference,” Quackity said.
“Oh,” Ranboo said. “Pronouns? Uh, he/him? I guess?” He seemed somewhat confused.
“Great!” Quackity replied cheerfully. “Anyways, I want you to know that given that this is an entry-level job, I don’t want you to feel pressured by any understandable anxieties, so I’m going to lay out how we run this location.”
The kid seemed to relax a bit at the mention of an explanation. Good.
“Today, we’re only going to be going over any resume information, your background, your goals, just basic stuff. You with me?”
“Yeah, I think so,” Ranboo answered.
“Perfect! Tomorrow—assuming we think you’re a good fit for this position—you’ll get your training. It involves basic employee information and, more importantly, shadowing,” Quackity explained. “If you don’t know, shadowing is basically just watching and following along with someone who already works here, kind of like, y’know, a shadow.”
Quackity stared blankly at Ranboo for a second. He was on his phone.
“Hey? You listening? It’s usually not encouraged to be distracted during an interview,” Quackity joked.
Ranboo’s head snapped up. He shoved his phone into his pocket.
“Oh, um, I’m sorry.” He looked genuinely embarrassed. “I was just, uh, writing what you said down. So I don’t… Uh. Forget.”
Quackity paused. "Okay," he said, drawing out the last syllable. He was skeptical.
“I’m really, really sorry. I won’t do it again. I’m sorry.”
Ranboo was so unabashedly apologetic that Quackity let it slide.
“It’s alright, you’re fine. Just try not to do it again, okay?”
Ranboo nodded so passionately that Quackity was surprised he didn’t throw himself into a dizzy state.
“Anyways.” Quackity tried to find his place. “Do you have any questions about the training?”
“Uh, no?” Ranboo answered uncertainly.
“Great! I’m just gonna ask you a couple questions about your experience, so get ready to talk more.”
First impressions. If first impressions were everything, it seemed like Ranboo was well on the path to not working at the wrong Taco Bell.
“First off, what’s your experience working at fast food chains?” …Manager Guy asked. He had kind of forgotten his name.
“Well, uh, this is my first job. But, y’know, I’ve been to fast food places before. Obviously.” Ranboo paused, wracking his brain for anything slightly more interesting to say. “I’ve also been to Taco Bell a lot. I’m sure that’s, um, important.”
The manager laughed. Thank goodness.
“Okay, if this is your first job, why should you be hired?”
“I’m not like, perfect, but I think I’d be pretty good at working a register?” Ranboo said, almost as a question. “Uh, as I said before, I, like, really like Taco Bell. So, I’m sure that would be… motivating.”
The manager nodded, relieving just a little of his anxiety once more.
“Now, this might be a stretch, but where do you see yourself in five years?”
Ranboo hesitated. He couldn’t say ‘dead,’ so he had to come up with an actual answer.
“I guess that depends on where I go a— after high school,” Ranboo said. “I really like dogs, so like, maybe in a… what would it be called? A veterinary school? I don’t really know. I’ve heard a lot of people find what they want to do in school— uh, as in college, I mean, so I guess I’ll find out then.”
The manager considered that for a moment. “Hmm. You know, I like dogs too.”
And so, the Interview continued.
Question after question, answer after answer, and Ranboo began to feel significantly more confident in himself than he had just a few moments ago. He still couldn’t remember the interviewer’s name, but he was sure he would figure it out eventually.
After asking Ranboo several questions about his greatest strengths and weaknesses (“Could you— could you repeat the question?”), the interviewer came to a pause.
“So…” he began. “I believe that’s it! If we find you qualified for the position, you’ll be called within 1 to 2 business days.”
And with that last sentence, the interview was complete.
Ranboo walked out of the room slowly, weirdly without anxiety. He didn’t know how to feel.
Sometimes, without warning, his brain seemingly decided to take a break. He felt odd. And that was all he felt.
Exiting the Taco Bell, he saw that guy at the cashier once more. He somehow seemed even more bored, his plastic antlers—Ranboo wasn’t even going to attempt to question them—had been strewn to the side of his head.
Ranboo hadn’t thought to consider the teenager who sat before him when he entered the building nearly ninety minutes ago, but as he peered closer, he noticed that the guy was strikingly average, while simultaneously being strikingly unique. Thin red bolts ran down his cheek into his neck—scars?—and dotted the consecutive side of his forehead. Ranboo wondered where they came from.
It was odd, how much he noticed. It wasn’t much, but it was far more than usual.
He glanced at the markings once more. They looked distinctly like something unnatural, at least for someone’s exterior, almost like lightning.
“Notice anything down here, big man?”
Ranboo flinched. “I— uh, no- I… no. Sorry.”
The guy looked at him once before looking back down, ignoring his presence yet again.
Ranboo wasted no time leaving Taco Bell.
He grabbed his helmet, making sure he didn’t forget to tighten the forever-loose straps, and pulled it on after unlocking his bike. He kicked back the stand, and left for home.
He had forgotten his mistake. After riding in the dark for well over forty-five minutes, he made a rare accomplishment. He remembered.