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These fucking kids. Amber couldn’t believe Devo’s goddamn nerve. Getting himself kicked out of Joshy’s bar should’ve been enough to make him see sense, but the scrawny little idiot was just so damn stubborn. She’d found him crying – actually crying – in some alley a little ways down the road, still refusing to admit he’d done anything wrong and even daring to ask her why she hadn’t asked if he was okay. She’d been relying on Zoox to take her side, but he was as wishy-washy as ever, too meek to do anything besides try to keep a peace that was well fucking over at this point.
She whirled away from where she and Devo had been facing off to glare up at Zoox’s face, or the closest thing he had to one, anyway. “You know what? No. You wanna pamper him? You wanna powder his bottom? Go ahead. I’m done.”
She stormed away with Zoox wailing about what he’d done wrong behind her, allowing herself a tiny, smug smile. She’d go back to the Coriolis in a bit, but she’d let them squirm for a bit first. See how fast they apologized then.
However, she hadn’t made it very far before she realized that Devo was still very much trying to keep her in earshot of his and Zoox’s conversation. “My mother figure just got murdered, and I am feeling a lot of emotions about that, so…”
Amber felt a tiny prick of guilt at not making that connection sooner, but she grit her teeth and shoved it down. She’d lost people. She’d lost more than Devo had ever fucking had to begin with, and she managed not to be an ass about it.
“So it seems like one of us is in the right.”
Oh, that was it . Amber whipped back around and marched right over to where Devo was standing, hands balling into fists and leaving her sides before she even fully knew what she was doing. Her knuckles connected squarely with his throat, and he crumpled in a wheezing, bony heap. Good. Kid needed to shut the fuck up one way or another.
“Amber!” Zoox cried, but Amber ignored him.
“You didn’t even fucking like her,” she told Devo. “Went on and on about how horrible she made your life. And yeah, I’m sure it’s real fucking complicated, everything you’re feeling right now, but that doesn’t give you an excuse to try and destroy a connection I’ve had for longer than you’ve been alive. You’ve been through a lot, kid, so has everybody else in this damn city. You’re not special. And if you think I value you over Joshy, you are sorely fucking mistaken.”
Devo’s breathing had leveled out somewhat, but he kept his head down, long hair falling over his face. “So that is how it is,” he said. His voice was gravelly from the hit to his throat, but the heat in it had lessened. Good. Maybe he was finally ready to actually listen .
And then he raised his head, and his eyes were glowing a dangerously bright blue.
Amber had seen him use this intimidation tactic on others before, and she had to admit it was the littlest bit impressive. Devo was a force to be reckoned with in most fights, she had to give him that. Being on the receiving end of that stare, eyes burning as blue-hot as a pair of stars, might have made Amber feel very slightly threatened. But this was Devo . What was he really gonna do to her?
“Damn straight, that’s how it is,” she answered, crossing her arms and lifting her chin. “Joshy’s saved my ass more times than I care to admit. He helped found the entire fucking city. What the hell have you ever done that’s so important?”
“ But I’ve saved you, too, ” Devo said, and holy shit that was not Devo’s voice. It rang way too deeply in her ears, the sound brain-shatteringly loud and yet quiet in a way that burrowed straight into her brain. It layered over itself, coming from every direction at once. Devo kept speaking, and Amber fought the urge to turn and run. “ You would be dead in the Ethersea right next to that giant squid if it had not been for me. And maybe that is not as impressive as building a city, but I’m betting your own life is worth a lot to you. ”
Devo raised himself to his full height, and Amber took an involuntary step back. Zoox was saying something, but she couldn’t hear him. All she could hear was Devo. “Stop,” she gasped.
“ If this is how you feel about me, if you do not care, if you do not respect me, maybe next time I will leave you in that water. ”
He took a step toward her, and Amber fell backwards in her efforts to get away. She cried out as her hands hit the rough stone, but the sound was drowned out by the ringing in her ears, by the pounding of her head, by that inescapable blue glow…
“ Stop it! ” Zoox yelled, his voice cutting through everything except Amber’s headache. He got in between them and shoved Devo away, leaving Amber free to drag herself backwards and prop herself up against the nearest wall. She shut her eyes against the tears that were starting to blur them, trying to get her breathing back under control. She had no idea when she’d started hyperventilating, but it was starting to make her dizzy.
“...way over the line, Devo,” Zoox was saying when Amber was able to process the world around her again. “Getting yourself kicked out of the Cloaca was one thing, but you could’ve killed Amber!”
“I know, I…” She heard Devo’s voice break, and then the sound of running footsteps. She forced her eyes open to see him fleeing Joshy’s Knuckle, the tails of his ridiculous coat streaming out behind him.
“Good riddance,” she groaned, and Zoox rushed over to her.
“Amber! Oh my gosh, are you okay?”
“Psh. Would take more than Devo’s scrawny ass to take down Amber Gris,” she answered, though she didn’t know exactly how true that was. “Still though. Kid’s lost his fucking mind. The hell was he thinking?”
Zoox was quiet for a minute. “Well, you did hit first.”
A fresh wave of anger washed over Amber, and she pulled herself into an upright position. “I only did it to get him to be quiet, I didn’t actually wanna fucking hurt him!”
“We’re crewmates! We’re on the same damn team! We shouldn’t be attacking each other at all! This is your problem, Amber. You try to fix everything with one of your vibe checks instead of actually talking it through and finding a solution! Yes, everything that happened in the Cloaca was Devo’s fault, and yes, it’s not the first time it’s happened, I’ll give you that. But neither of you seem to actually give a shit about doing better. He just wants to take it out on everyone around him, and you just wanna get all pissy at him for something he doesn’t fully have control over on a day that’s already been pretty hard for him!”
“Well, shit, Zoox,” Amber laughed, the sound dry and false even to her own ears. “Didn’t realize we had a goddamn psychiatrist on our crew.”
“Everything that’s happened on our missions has made me pretty introspective, what can I say,” Zoox shot back, his tone still sharp. “But are you going to actually listen to anything I just said? Because if not, I’ll be on the Coriolis until you and Devo can get your heads on straight.”
“Yeah, well, you’ll be waiting a fucking while,” Amber snapped.
Zoox sighed. Then, silently, he stood up and walked away, leaving Amber alone on the street in Joshy’s Knuckle.
Amber just watched him go, wondering vaguely if he really was going back to the Coriolis. No way in hell was she setting foot on that ship again.
Maybe Devo wouldn’t go back either and Zoox would just have to find himself a whole new crew. Maybe Devo would, and he and Zoox would just replace her. Maybe they’d just set off on whatever their next mission was alone.
Something twinged in her stomach as she thought about how long they’d last out there, just the two of them. She couldn’t tell if it was satisfaction or guilt.