Work Text:
As Dazai entered the agency, his eyes were immediately drawn to the garden that seemed to be growing out of Kunikida’s desk. A beautiful display of colourful flowers covered it, making it impossible to work from. He was fairly stunned by the spectacle of it, admiring it as he approached. Kunikida peaked up at him from where he sat behind the flowers.
“Good morning, Dazai,” he said.
Dazai giggled a little, “Good morning, Kunikida-kun. What’s with the jungle on your desk?”
“Flowers…”
“I can see that,” Dazai smiled, “Are they for me?”
“No, a client left them for me after I helped them… I don’t… really know what to do with them,” Kunikida mumbled.
“What do you mean you don’t know what to do with them? Just put them in a vase.”
“Hmm… Yeah… Do you know any good vase shops?”
“You don’t own a vase?”
Kunikida shook his head, “I’ve never been given flowers before.”
Dazai chuckled a little, “Oh, that’s so pathetic and adorable — of course, you haven’t.”
“What’s that supposed to mean?!”
“Nothing at all, Kunikida-kun!” Dazai grinned, innocently as Kunikida glared, “Oh, and to answer your question, I do not know any good vase shops. I don’t own a vase either.”
“So, have you… um…”
“No, I have never received flowers either. I’m usually the one who gives them if anything. I always hope it’ll entice a woman enough to die with me, but it usually fails. They find the flowers plenty romantic but tend to be turned off by the other motive. A shame really…”
“I find trouble believing anyone would accept flowers from you at all…” Kunikida grumbled.
“Excuse you! I am incredibly charming and many have been mostly delighted to receive flowers from me,” said Dazai. Kunikida rolled his eyes knowing he probably wasn’t lying. “I doubt there would be many willing to give me flowers, however. That would be where my charm fails me…”
“I don’t think receiving flowers is necessarily an indicator of charm,” Kunikida said.
“Oh, you’re right! If
you’re
receiving flowers, charm certainly cannot be a factor in that exchange, can it?”
“Hey!” Kunikida roared, offended.
“I’m just teasing, Kunikida-kun! You’re very charming and romantic and chivalrous, I’m sure your admirer saw that and that’s why there are flowers on your desk.”
“I can never tell if you’re being sarcastic or not…” Kunikida sighed.
“Yeah, I know,” Dazai smiled, brightly.
Dazai sat down at his desk, admiring the way Kunikida sat up even straighter in order to watch him over the flowers.
“Hey, Dazai?”
“Yes, Kunikida-kun?”
“Would you like to get flowers from someone?” he asked.
“I think it’d be awfully sweet for someone to think of me, yeah. Seeing you get some is making me feel all left out,” Dazai pouted.
“Oh…”
Dazai watched Kunikida curiously as he thought. He watched even more curiously as Kunikida’s head popped back down for a moment. He waited for a while, just ever so curious as to what Kunikida was up to. Soon, Kunikida stood up and walked around to Dazai’s desk. Dazai smiled up at him, expecting to get yelled at for not starting work yet or something but Kunikida’s usual fire had simmered down a little bit it seemed. As Kunikida performed the gesture, Dazai’s smile dropped immediately as he paled. He was too stunned to know how to proceed. Because Kunikida brought his hand out from behind his back and offered Dazai a flower. It was one from the bouquet. A beautiful one. If Dazai cared a little more about romantic gestures like this, he would love to torment Kunikida with the name and probable romantic meaning of such a flower but this is where his knowledge ran short. He simply stared down at it with wide eyes.
“D-Don’t you want it?” Kunikida’s voice broke Dazai from his blank haze.
“Huh?” was all Dazai could reply with.
“Since you were complaining I thought you might like one of them! I can just take it back if you don’t—”
“Wait, I want it!” Dazai blurted out, “It’s… It’s pretty, I’d like to have it if you’re offering…”
“Then take it,” Kunikida said, reoffering the flower to him.
Dazai’s cheeks must have gone as pink as the flower as he took it from Kunikida’s hand and brought it up to his nose to sniff at it. Kunikida seemed to want verbal validation from this exchange as he didn’t return to his desk immediately.
“It’s… It smells nice… Thank you, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai said, quietly.
“Y-You’re welcome…” Kunikida said, returning to his desk.
The next day, Dazai entered the agency again and was pleasantly surprised to see a new dramatic arrangement taking up a desk in the office. Though, this time, it wasn’t Kunikida’s desk that it invaded. Upon further expectation, he saw that it took up space on his own desk. He stopped dead in his tracks, staring at the bouquet that seemed to be growing more alien and irregular the longer he stared at it. He could not put together what on Earth they were doing there no matter how he thought about it. He wasn’t helpful enough to receive something like this from a client. He certainly didn’t make amiable enough impressions on anyone for it to be any sort of display of fondness. It could be a trap. But flowers were possibly the most conspicuous trap for someone like him who never received any so he couldn’t imagine any idiot trying to kill him would try something like that. All he could do was stare and ponder and stare some more, unable to come to any reasonable conclusion. That was until he did. The flowers must be for someone else. And they must have just been put on Dazai’s desk since he wasn’t using it and they would be collected shortly by their rightful recipient. That had to be it. Confident in his deduction, he moved forward and approached the gift. He saw the card on top and was sure, in reading it, he’d find who it was addressed to and it’d all make sense. But as he read the name on the card he was soon frozen again.
‘My Dear Dazai’
That was what the card read. Not signed by anyone. Just addressed to him. Addressed fondly to him. His heart felt like it was falling out of his chest as he sunk down to the floor and leaned his back against the desk. He sprawled his legs out and let his head fall back as if he were a corpse because, truly, he felt like one. If it wasn’t a trap that was going to kill him in the next 5 minutes it was just as bad anyway. It wasn’t possible that it was a genuine token of someone’s appreciation or affection considering he never gave anyone the chance to grow appreciative or affectionate towards him. There was no way. So, it must have been a death trap and he was sitting through his last few minutes of life. Going out to a bouquet of flowers wasn’t exactly what he planned but it didn’t seem the worst way to go.
“Dazai?” Kunikida’s familiar voice woke him up from his deserted state.
“This is it, Kunikida-kun…” Dazai sighed.
“W-What?! Did you take something? Get up, right now! Bathroom! Immediately!” Kunikida instructed in a panic.
Dazai smiled a little at how much Kunikida cared, “No, no… I didn’t take anything, don’t worry…”
“Then… What are you talking about?”
“The flowers… I think they’re a death trap…”
“Don’t be insulting, I bought those myself, I think I’d know if they were a secret death trap.”
With that, Dazai
actually
woke up from his haze with a pounding in his chest, “Excuse me?! You bought these?!”
Kunikida nodded.
“W… What?”
“Well, since you’ve never gotten any and you seemed left out when I got mine I just… I thought you might like some…” Kunikida explained.
“But that’s… That’s so… That’s such a… genuinely kind gesture…” Dazai was utterly bewildered.
“Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think you’ve really done anything to deserve this but… I guess I wanted to give some flowers myself since I never have… And you had never received them so… I thought it was a good exchange for us,” Kunikida said.
“Oh…” That made sense. Sort of. In Kunikida logic, it definitely made sense. In normal person logic, it certainly did not and any reasonable person would assume so many of Kunikida’s feelings from a gesture like this. But Dazai understood. “I… Thank you, Kunikida-kun…”
“It’s my pleasure. What do you think of them — Did I choose them well?”
Dazai pushed himself off the ground to admire the flowers again. The colours complemented each other — the shapes were well created. It was a stunning arrangement.
“Yes. I’d say this is very well selected, Kunikida-kun. I’m sure any lovely lady would swoon receiving this,” Dazai said.
“But, I’m not giving it to a woman, I’m giving it to you — Did I choose them well for you?”
Every bit of this exchange was treading further and further into not making sense even in Kunikida logic. Dazai took a breath, trying to collect himself and remind himself that this was merely the practice of a genuine gesture and didn’t really mean anything in the real world. Kunikida just wanted some feedback and then they could move on. It was really hard to give objective feedback when his heart was flipping upside down and inside out in his chest though. So, Dazai didn’t really know how to proceed. Except that he did. If Kunikida wanted genuine, real experience gifting flowers to someone, Dazai would give that to him. He beckoned Kunikida forward with his hand and Kunikida leaned down slightly to accommodate him. Dazai went to whisper in his ear but first, did something else. He gave Kunikida’s cheek a quick and tender kiss, feeling Kunikida warm under his lips.
“Yes… Thank you…” Dazai whispered to him.
Kunikida stood back up slowly, as pink as Dazai now, “Okay… Good… I’m glad…”
“I have to say, I’m going to be awfully jealous of the next person you give flowers to…” Dazai gave a smile as if he were just teasing but he really did mean that. Anyone who received a bouquet from Kunikida would have to be very special. And Dazai selfishly wished there was no one in the world who could ever be that special to Kunikida.
“I wouldn’t worry, there’s no one else I could do this with. At least not right now,” Kunikida said.
Dazai let a dangerous thing enter his head. Hope. “Well, in the meantime if you want to keep practising until someone else comes along, I will be happy to assist you with that.”
“You just want me to keep spending money on you…” Kunikida grumbled.
I just want you to keep thinking of me…
Dazai nodded instead, “It makes me feel like you don’t hate me as much as you say you do.”
“Oh…” Kunikida thought for a moment, “Noted…”
Over the years, Kunikida continued to buy Dazai flowers every now and then and Dazai continued to offer a cheek kiss and a ‘thank you’ in return. And that was the routine. Every couple of months it would occur and Dazai had admittedly grown comfortable in their routine. Kunikida had seemed to as well until one day he didn’t. As Dazai retreated from the cheek kiss Kunikida didn’t stand up immediately like normal.
“Um… Dazai?”
“Yes?”
“I’ve been… giving you flowers for three years now…”
“It’s really been that long?” Dazai asked.
Kunikida nodded, “Yeah… It has… And I just…”
This was the end. Kunikida wanted to stop. Dazai’s chest couldn’t take it. He didn’t want this to end. He didn’t know why but the second it ended, he swore he was going to die.
“Don’t you think I deserve a little more than a cheek kiss for all the flowers I’ve given you?” Kunikida said.
Dazai’s panic calmed immediately and he settled into a giddy warmth. “Oh… Of course…” he smiled, “I’ve been awfully selfish, haven’t I?”
“I mean… just a little bit… Not that I really mind but…”
“Sorry, Kunikida-kun… I’ll fix that…”
Dazai held Kunikida’s face in his hands as he leaned forward to connect their lips. This was probably payment three years overdue judging by the amount Kunikida accepted it. They sighed into each other as if they had both been waiting so long and finally got what they truly wanted. As they separated they smiled at each other a little. Kunikida’s eyes floated to the ground.
“I um… I meant that like… you could buy me flowers too but… that works too, I guess…” he mumbled, making Dazai giggle.
“My bad,” chuckled Dazai.
“I uh… I don’t mind…”
“You don’t?”
Kunikida shook his head, “And um… I think to make up for all the flowers I have given um… it might be nice of you to… you know…”
“Do it again?” Dazai said, trying to fill in the gaps in Kunikida’s speech that were created by his embarrassment.
Kunikida nodded.
Dazai could barely contain his smile as he leant forward to coax Kunikida into another soft kiss.
“Are we even now?” Dazai asked.
Kunikida shook his head. So, Dazai offered another kiss.
“What about now?”
Kunikida shook his head again. So, Dazai kissed him again.
“Now?”
“Almost… I think…”
Dazai giggled but contained himself to give Kunikida just one more kiss.
“So… Now?” Dazai asked.
Kunikida nodded, “But you know, if I keep giving you flowers…”
“Then you will be entitled to as many kisses in return as you’d like, Kunikida-kun,” Dazai grinned up to him.
Kunikida gave a satisfied nod, “Okay then…”
“You’re happy with that?”
Kunikida nodded.
“You know what would make me happy with that?” Dazai asked.
“No… What is it?”
“If I was allowed to kiss you even when you haven’t gotten me flowers…”
“Hmm… I see… Well, I suppose as long as you let me kiss you in return, that would still be a fair exchange.”
“Wonderful!” Dazai cheered, putting his hand out for a handshake. Kunikida took it with a confused look on his face. Dazai shook his arm up and down, “Pleasure doing business with you.”
As the shaking slowed to a stop, they didn’t let their hands separate. Instead, Dazai used it to pull Kunikida forward slightly and steal just one more kiss. Dazai admired the mess of Kunikida he’d made in this exchange, but he couldn’t tease as he knew he probably looked just as flustered. It was going to be a struggle to go to work like normal with this on their minds but, that wasn't necessarily a bad thing. They’d already forgotten they were in the office at all but were incredibly grateful it was empty as they both sat at their respective desks, stealing glances and being unable to hold back small smiles that infected them throughout the day. Dazai had never been so grateful that flowers had their own language. He still didn’t understand it himself. But he was sure flowers spoke more words between the pair than they could ever create themselves. And without them, Dazai wouldn’t have been given the express permission to love Kunikida like he always selfishly had.