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just Harry @thechosenone
almost got in a knife fight after work (a thread)
/for those of you that don’t know I’m a defence instructor (tutor really) part-time
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
so I left work today, got off the bus and walked through an alleyway to get home faster. Now I know what you’re thinking but this isn’t my first time down this alleyway so it’s not like I was anticipating anything but the usual rats and trash. 1/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I reach like most of the way through and im about to come out to the street nearest my place. I hear a sound and theres some random bloke. This prat is dressed like a reject from those motorbike gangs – not how they actually look, the way theyre depicted in popular media 2/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
He’s wearing some type of faux leather synthetic thing for pants and a white tshirt with a proper leather jacket with zippers that open nothing and straps that serve no purpose. Hair artfully styled with just a bit falling into his face. And somehow he made it look /good/. 3/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
He was tall as fuck and way too pretty to not be a model. It was infuriating. How dare a man this good looking try to intimidate me? 4/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
As an aside I work part time at a coffee shop so im wearing tracksuit bottoms and a white tshirt, probably with a lingering scent of coffee. Hair its usual mess and im carrying nothing else. It’s a bloody mystery what he thought he would be able to steal from me 5/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
So he starts talking, and his voice is this rich type of eloquent and lilting that makes you want to agree with him. 9/10 chances of him being a siren in a past life. Anyway he threatens me, some dragon dung I wasn’t actually listening to and pulls out a knife. 6/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Heres the thing though: based on my many brushes with death people who know me may tell you that im not too attached to this living thing. But if youre going to try to kill me best believe im returning the favour. Me? Go out without fighting? Blasphemy 7/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
So ofc I pull out /my/ knife.
And then we’re both standing there awkwardly bc how do you even proceed from there? 8/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Side note about this specific knife. Its not the pocketknife I actually bought. No, this one was a gift… sorta. I was stabbed with it at my last job (not because of the job the place was just being robbed) and after pulling it out and stabbing my assailant I stashed it in my bag.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Found it when I woke up in the hospital later. It’s a great knife 10/10 best acquisition. Even including the stab wound.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Anyway he then laughs and flicks the knife away artfully. He’s clearly skilled in using a knife despite looking like he’s never actually robbed someone. Chances of him robbing in an alley? 4. Chances of him shanking someone? Solid 10, he’s definitely done it before. 9/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Then this little shit asks me “where are you from love?” all relaxed and shit, smirking and flicking his hair from his face as if I don’t still have a knife out and he didn’t just have one using to threaten me. 10/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
So I said “surrey darling, you?” bc if he’s playing this game then so am I.
Then he says he’s also from there so I obviously call him out on his shit then continue my walk home.
He calls out “see you around” as im stashing my knife near the end of the alley 11/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Do you lot think it was a threat or a promise ??? 12/12
. . .
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just Harry @thechosenone
good evening it’s been exactly one week since the almost knife fight and guess who is waiting at the bus stop im approaching?
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
He has a bag of nando’s with him.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
The nandos are apparently for me. Imagine getting an apology chicken wrap and fries.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
We’re going to the nearby park to share it because im not stupid enough to let myself be potentially poisoned alone so he’s having some so I can watch him.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Split it mostly even and it was actually great. He must know somebody because mine never tastes like this when I get it
We’re going separate ways now.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
He said “see you around” again. Threat or promise?
Maybe I foiled his poison attempt. Or the potential jump from his cronies that im sure he has.
. . .
.
just Harry @thechosenone
There was a pizza guy at the end of the alley who recognised me on sight and handed me a meat lovers that was already paid for.
I no longer know what to think.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I retraced my steps to the park we went to last time and found him with some other guys but he broke off from their group to come sit on the bench with me. (told you he had cronies)
We shared the pizza.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
he refused to accept the repayment so I snuck it into one of his tiny impractical jacket pockets for him to find later.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
“see you around” still sounds like a threat but his voice is well suited for threats.
.
just Harry @thechosenone
found a gorgeous knife in one of my pockets when I got home. this is both a threat and a gift and my knees feel a little weak I wont lie.
. . .
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just Harry @thechosenone
He was waiting with tarts and coffee this week.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I’m beginning to wonder if he’s just good at guessing or watched me long enough to know my schedule. I’ll have to change it up for the other days. I cant believe I became predictable, my old defence professor is rolling in his grave. Sorry mad-eye.
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
This “see you around” sounded like both a threat AND a promise <3