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just Harry @thechosenone
things i’ve learned since dating knife boy (a follow-up thread)
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Firstly he hates that I call him knife boy and is currently glaring at me as I type but that’s a /him/ problem 1/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Now we’ve been dating for around a month now and it’s been very busy, never a boring moment with this one.
Alright he insists I tell you all that im responsible for at least 3/4 of the drama (absolutely incorrect) 2/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I was right about him never robbing someone before but this feeds into another point that deserves its on tweet 3/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Oh and surprisingly hes not a criminal. Or so he says, id not be surprised if he was and it’s not like id break up with him because of that; not with how we met… the heart wants what it wants or however that goes 4/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
His favourite number is seven; I learnt this one when he asked me out on a date on our 7th week of knowing each other (yes including the almost knife fight). The weekly meet up to eat counts for me but for him they were some sort of declaration of intent/staking his claim thing 5/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
But I got free food out of it so its cool. Also yes free because he returned the money I snuck into his pockets… by leaving them in the pockets and wearing that jacket on a day it rained then loaning me the jacket 6/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
This leads into the next fact: he plans really far ahead. Me? I go headfirst through life on luck and chaos only. Opposites really attract 7/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
The alley situation wasn’t a chance thing. No, this dork used to pass the coffee shop I worked in and then saw me head home a few times and decided he wanted to get to know me. He had a whole plan and everything but then when I was right in front of him he panicked 8/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Sorry he tried to grab my phone, I think he forgets you guys don’t actually know what he looks like.
Anyway he panicked and pulled out his knife which he had a habit of playing with… then decided to use it to threaten me. 9/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Apparently my decision to then pull out my knife threw him off guard long enough for him to return to his default of charming 10/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
For context, he had three different planned ways to approach me with subsections to deal with different possibilities. And then when faced with the reality of my exhausted self, reeking of coffee and dressed for comfort this man froze and went straight for the option of threats 11/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
So the nandos were less apology for the knife and more “id ask you to forget the knife thing if you didn’t look so hot with a weapon, heres some food to entice you” (the first part was in his words). He's adorable. 12/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
His cronies are apparently friends from school and other associates. I have no idea what they do when theyre not with him but apparently they have lives outside of his company (doubtful) 13/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
He has a job! He was (and still is) purposefully organising his days in order to see me when possible. Whats his job? Something to do with antiques that takes a lot of time for write up and examining 14/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
I gave him a balisong for our ‘first’ official date and he kissed me and got us kicked out of his fancy restaurant for indecency 15/
just Harry @thechosenone
Replying to @thechosenone
Yes our first kiss was because of a knife; that’s what we call consistency.
We’re late for a snake exhibit so I’ll be back later.
Oh, fact for the road: he loves snakes too (and has one named Nagini who tried to strangle me but in an affectionate way) <3 16/16