Chapter Text
Being a judge on a singing competition was not as entertaining as the editing made it out to be. The four judges sitting at the table for hours a day listening to auditions agreed that they generally were divided up like this:
60% Not good enough to go through.
30% God awful.
5% Decent– they go through.
5% Fantastic.
“Will, are there any more today? Tell me we’re done.”
“Sorry Danny. We still got two more acts to go.”
“Hey LaFontaine!” Betty interrupted, leaning to the judge on her right, “Wanna make another bet? Twenty bucks an act?”
LaFontaine rolled their eyes. “I need to see what they look like first,” they whisper, “Before I can decide if I think they’re going to be good or not.”
“Shhh!” Danny hissed, “The show is starting again.”
Welcome back to The X-Factor! Here’s your host, JP Armitage!
JP walked out onto the stage and waved at the applauding crowd. He tipped the newsie-style cap that had become his trademark. “Welcome back everyone! We’ve only got two more auditions, and next week we start boot camp. Do either one of these aspiring musicians have what it takes? Let’s see!”
He stepped aside and allowed the first of the two to walk onto the stage. She was a brunette, fresh faced, holding a ukulele in her arms like a baby.
“….Hello guys.” The girl held up one hand, wiggling her fingers. “Sorry, you can tell I’m a little nervous.”
Danny–who sat right in the middle of the judges table, as the unofficial leader of the group–leaned slightly in her seat. “That’s fine. What’s your name?”
“My name is Laura Hollis.” She said softly.
“Well Laura, what are you going to be singing?”
“I’m going to be singing Little Things by One Direction.”
There’s snickering in the audience. A teenage girl with a ukulele, doing a One Direction song. It was kind of ridiculous. Danny looks at Will, Danny, and LaFontaine, and it’s clear they’re all thinking the same thing. Dear God, please let her not embarrass herself.
“…Alright. Take it away.” Danny said, smiling encouragingly.
Laura took a deep breath. “Alright.” Her fingers began dancing along the strings of the ukulele.
“ Your hand fits into mine like it’s made just for me.
I bear this in mind that it was meant to be.
And I’m joining up the dots with the freckles on your cheeks,
it all makes sense to me.”
Laura swayed back and forth ever so slightly as she sang, her eyes closing.
“ I know you’ve never loved the crinkles by your eyes.
When you smile you never loved your stomach or your thighs.
The dimples on your back at the bottom of your spine, I love them endlessly.”
Danny noticed Betty surreptitiously handing a twenty dollar bill to LaFontaine. They must have made the bet while she wasn’t looking.
“I won’t let these little things slip out of my mouth.
But if I do, it’s you, it’s you they add up to.
I’m in love with you–”
Danny held up a hand and signaled for the music to stop. Laura opened her eyes and smiled nervously.
“…So, uh, how was it?”
Danny looked at Betty. “Betty, why don’t you go first.”
Betty took a dramatic pause. “…I kind of love everything about you right now!” She exclaimed. The audience cheered. Laura looked like she’d pass out from excitement.
“Seriously though, you are just so freaking adorable! And what made you think of the ukulele?”
“I’ve been playing it since I was little.”
“Well, it’s as adorable as you!” Betty gushed.
“Uh, Betty, maybe we should talk to the other judges.”
“Well, I liked it.” Will said, “You need to be careful of being too cutesy though.”
“I agree with Will.” LaFontaine said, “Your voice is beautiful, but what you’re lacking is a little…swag. Can you get swag?”
Laura nodded vigorously. “Totally. I can be totally swaggy!”
The audience laughed, and Laura got four yes’s.
“We seriously needed to go to commercial after one act?” Betty groaned, “It’s not fair to us or the girl auditioning. Must be nervous as hell.”
“Betty, why are you even here if you hate it so much?” Will asked.
“I like the mentoring part. I just hate sitting through this.”
“Well, this is the last one.” LaFontaine said, giving their friend a nudge on the shoulder. “Hang in there.”
The intro music started again. This time the contestant who walked out–no, more like strutted–looked totally serene. She placed her hands in the pockets of her leath pants and smirked at the judges.
Danny already didn’t like her. “And what’s your name?”
“Carmilla Karnstein.”
“Well Carmilla, do you think you have what it takes to win this competition?”
“I think if I don’t win there’s something seriously wrong with this competition.”
There was an oooh from the audience.
“Well. What’ll you be singing.”
“I’ll be singing Cry Me a River.”
“Go ahead.” Danny wondered if the other judges were hoping she wasn’t good, because she was already rubbing Danny the wrong way.
The intro music to the song started. When it was time for Carmilla to start singing she grabbed the mic stand, holding it so close her lips almost brushed against it as she sang.
“Now you say you’re lonely.
You cried the long night through.
Well you can cry me a river.
Cry me a river!
I cried a river over you.”
In that moment, even with the leather pants and jacket, she had transformed from a punk rocker into a 1920s lounge singer with her low sultry voice.
“And now you say you love me.
Well just to prove that you do,
why don’t you cry me a river.
Cry me a river!
Cause I cried a river over you.”
She stopped. Stepped back from the mic for a second or two. Then suddenly grabbed the mic again and belted the last line.
“Cry me a river!”
The audience applauded. Carmilla stepped away from the mic and cocked her head, wearing that same self satisfied smirk. “So?”
Danny leaned forward in her seat again. “Okay, here’s the deal. You are so overconfident that it’s going to turn an audience off of you….yeah, I kind of cannot stand your personality. But that might have been the best vocal we’ve heard today.”
Carmilla nodded, burying her tongue into the side of her cheek. “Thanks.”
“It’s a yes from me.” Will said, “Danny is right though. You got to be careful not to come off as conceited.”
“Unless she has a right to be,” Betty said to Will.
“…Well, bootcamp will probably cure her of that.” LaFontaine added. “Are we going to vote?”
They took the vote. Carmilla crossed her arms with a grin. A unanimous yes. Of course.