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It’s official, Shi Qingxuan thinks. In all of her 800 years of living, this is the worst day ever.
There were many contenders for it. The day the Reverend of Empty Words found her, the day she learned Heavenly Officials are not immune to realgar wine, that particularly awful day 300 years ago when she got kidnapped by a giant monster bird and needed rescuing, and most recently, the day she learned the truth about her ascension and the horrifying crime her brother committed for it.
That last had only been a few days ago. She hadn’t even had time to process it, and didn’t think it could be beaten already, but it seems her stolen fate decided she should also have a sword aimed at her neck by an overzealous martial god in the courtyard of her own home.
800 years in the past .
“Well, well, well,” Pei Ming’s low lyrical voice rumbles into her ear. “I was told we had an intruder, and what do I find here?”
An intruder! Her! Shi Qingxuan wants nothing more than to give the useless old war god a verbal dressing down for his insolence, but with the sword already pressed to the side of her neck, likely to draw blood with even the slightest movement, her voice refuses to budge.
Pei Ming approves. “Don’t make any sudden movements,” he warns coldly. “Woman or not, if you try anything, I’ll cut you down.”
She shouldn’t have switched to her female form. If Pei Ming had caught her as the male Shi Qingxuan, he would have asked a few questions, given some unwelcome words of advice, and then went on his way. It would have been necessary to explain how her other clothes had gotten so dirtied and disheveled (which had prompted the swap in the first place – Shi Qingxuan was drawing too much uncomfortable attention otherwise), but at least Pei Ming would have known who she was.
800 years ago, she didn’t have this form. The trapped woman before Pei Ming now is no more than a stranger. If she had realized that earlier, she would have been more careful.
Unfortunately for her, it’s too late to switch back. She doesn’t have an explanation to give, and more importantly, she has no way to prevent Pei Ming from alerting her brother.
Her brother… is the last person she wants to see right now. She doesn’t even know what she was thinking coming to the Palace of Water in the first place after all the trouble she went through to escape it; her legs had just carried her right back in a daze. But it was because of that that she finally realized when she was. The absence of her own connected palace feels like a hole in her heart.
A slight tremor shakes her body, prompting Pei Ming’s next words. “Who are you? You’re no Heavenly Official.”
The words sting. “I-I’m not doing anything wrong,” Shi Qingxuan says in a small voice, swallowing the lump in her throat. “This is a misunderstanding…”
“Oh?” Pei Ming sneers, looking her over. “And what am I misunderstanding exactly?” His voice is as chilling as the sharp edge of his blade. Just as she is a stranger to him, the Pei Ming before her is unrecognizable. He had never used such a tone with her.
But then, he isn’t her Pei Ming and doesn’t resemble him. It’s not quite correct to say that the Pei Ming before her looks younger (it’s the same aggravating face as always), but he has a fresher, more youthful air to him – maybe from the simpler regalia adorning his clothes. He may be a god of the Upper Court, but the Pei Ming of 800 years ago isn’t the undisputed Martial God of the North. He should be much weaker, Shi Qingxuan thinks.
(Though still not as weak as her. Shi Qingxuan’s spiritual power is only enough to maintain her form.)
“Well?” Pei Ming prompts again, and retracts the sword very slightly, just enough for it not to be completely touching her skin.
“I’m not sneaking around,” Shi Qingxuan speaks up again. “And I’m not a fake… sorta… it’s just… it’s just a really weird situation for me right now.”
Not that Pei Ming is the one she wants hearing about it. What would she even tell him? She escaped from her brother (in the future) only to suddenly wake up in the middle of a barely recognizable Great Martial Avenue, raised a huge fuss attracting a crowd, and then ran off in a panic when Ling Wen arrived and tried to call Shi Wudu out of concern?
Then Shi Qingxuan realizes – Pei Ming said he was looking for an intruder. And Shi Qingxuan had still been in her male form for the earlier panic.
And this was still 800 years in the past.
“The intruder!” She suddenly gasps, momentarily flinching as Pei Ming’s startle jostles the sword. “Could it be… is it the Reverend of Empty Words?”
Pei Ming’s posture remains perfectly still, giving nothing away, as Shi Qingxuan’s heart starts to quicken in panic and excitement. She knows she’s right about this – she has to be. Before she even ended up in the past, what was it that she had been chasing down? Who was it that revealed the awful truth to her?
With all of the stress the following days, she’d almost forgotten.
“I – I want to defeat that thing too!” Shi Qingxuan says feeling braver, as an idea starts to take root. “T-that’s why I’m here. It has to be! General Pei, put down the sword already; you’re aiming it at the wrong person. Think about it! How could this beautiful jiejie be that horrible monster?”
“Who knows?” Pei Ming chuckles humorlessly. But the sword retracts and goes back into its sheath. It’s only when it’s finally away from her neck that Shi Qingxuan can heave a sigh of relief, her whole body feeling instantly lighter.
But the relief is short lived as Pei Ming roughly grabs her arm and pulls her in close.
“Jiejie,” he whispers lightly into her ear. “Why don't you and I have a more intimate chat?”
Whoever said Pei Ming was the ideal lover who treated all women like delicate flowers and precious jewels had never been shoved into a chair with immortal binding cables tying up her wrists.
It was humiliating how easily the General had overpowered her. Even if he was a martial god and Shi Qingxuan was stressed and exhausted and using her pittance of spiritual power to maintain her transformation, he shouldn’t have been able to bind her and drag her back into his own palace for interrogation with as much effort as turning over a fan!
And here she thought things couldn’t get worse!
He may not be pointing his sword at her anymore, but his hand remains on it, circling the hilt with his thumb as a warning against anything funny. A smile has found its way to his face, but it is one of a predator, not the laidback lout Shi Qingxuan is familiar with.
(And at this point, misses.)
“You’ve said some very interesting things,” Pei Ming says. “The Reverend of Empty Words. What made you think of that?”
“What else is there for me to think?” Shi Qingxuan replies. “That thing has caused so much trouble for m – Lord Water Master and his brother. It should have been gone for good, but suddenly it appeared again… I was chasing after it but the next thing I knew, I was here.”
It’s not entirely a lie. Ming Yi once taught her that the most believable lies are the ones rooted in the truth. She hopes it’s enough to convince Pei Ming to let her go.
She may know what exactly she’ll do afterwards, but at least she’ll be free from him.
“General Pei, aren’t you wasting precious time? If that thing has slipped into the capital, you should go deal with it.”
“It’ll come again. For now, I’ll deal with the intruder I already caught.” Pei Ming scratches his chin thoughtfully, the cruel smile still plastered on his face. “Just who are you to the Water Master to know his personal affairs so well?” he asks.
“I’m… a friend.”
“First I’ve heard of you.”
“Well it’s not like you know everything about him!” Shi Qingxuan snaps, a familiar petty irritation welling up. “How long have you even known him? A month? Two?”
“Two years, perhaps,” Pei Ming replies dryly. “Long enough anyway to know he doesn’t like rude women like you.”
I’ll show you rude! Shi Qingxuan opens her mouth to object, then frowns as she realizes the implication of his answer. General Pei had ascended before her brother. So those two years must have been how long they’ve been in the Heavens.
Could it be too late? She ascended several years after her brother did, but if she remembered the story she heard in Fugu, the scholar also suffered for several years. What if… her brother had already swapped her fate? Pei Ming may have been concerned about the Reverend of Empty Words in the capital, but that could have also just meant Shi Wudu never told him about the swap.
Pei Ming is honest; hilariously so next to his so-called friends. If Shi Qingxuan were to do something sneaky, he’d be the last person she told too.
“Swapping fates,” Shi Qingxuan mutters mostly to herself, but from Pei Ming’s shift in posture, she knows he heard. “Do you know anything about that?”
“No.”
It’s an abrupt reply, but Shi Qingxuan can read the disapproval on his face. Her heart pounding, she tries another question.
“If… the Water Master were to resort to something sinister – o-out of desperation –
“He’s not going to.” Pei Ming says firmly.
“That’s what I want too!” Shi Qingxuan cries. She never once doubted her brother’s love for her, but the idea that he would go that far for her sake is too horrifying. If she has to be stuck in the past – fine! But she won’t allow her brother to make the same choice again.
Shi Qingxuan loves him too much for that.
“General Pei, please let me go. I don’t mean any harm to G – Lord Water Master. I only want to see the Reverend of Empty Words dead. Before anything bad happens.”
Pei Ming studies her carefully. “And I’m supposed to believe you can kill it?”
“I…” Shi Qingxuan is terrified of even seeing it. “I have to try?”
“Ha! With your spiritual power, you’ll be lucky if you can even keep that shape much longer.”
Shi Qingxuan freezes. When had Pei Ming noticed – no, did he know who she really was?
“You’re not a ghost. Not with that heartbeat,” he muses. “Why don’t we make things easier on both of us? Who are you? It’s clear you’re no ordinary woman.”
“I… I…” Shi Qingxuan lowers her head.
“The hard way works too,” Pei Ming assures her. “Don’t underestimate how many ways this official can strip off a disguise.”
A shiver runs down her spine. If her identity is revealed now, how would she explain it? Would Pei Ming even care to listen if she did?
No. Absolutely not. Not when she’s so close.
“G-General Pei!” Shi Qingxuan shouts, and without really thinking, leaps to her feet and throws herself into his chest. In his bewilderment, he doesn’t even reach for his sword. Shi Qingxuan cranes her neck and bats her eyes innocently. “There’s no need for that, is there? Surely a powerful martial god like yourself can already tell how weak and harmless I am? Why go through any more trouble?” She raises her bound hands and tugs at the sleeve of his robe coyly. Leans her head against his shoulder. Presses her well-endowed chest closer.
Ignores the goosebumps breaking out all over her limbs.
Pei Ming for his part remains still, betraying his reputation of lechery. His own heart rate doesn’t even quicken. He simply waits until Shi Qingxuan looks up again, this time biting her lower lip meekly, and lets out an amused snort.
“I think we can cross huli jing off the list.”
With that he takes her shoulders and pushes her off of him. Shi Qingxuan stares at the floor in shame as Pei Ming steps away and crosses his arms.
“Very well. If you’re that desperate to keep that form, go ahead. After that display, I’ve lost interest.”
That’s a good thing, Shi Qingxuan reminds herself. That was the point.
“However,” Pei Ming continues, “I can’t let you go. You know things you shouldn’t, and you’re not a resident of the Heavenly Capital. I don’t know how you snuck in here, but you can’t run around freely.”
Shi Qingxuan’s shoulders slump. He’s not wrong. While her male form is an option, it would be inevitable that someone noticed there were two Shi Qingxuans running around. But in her female form, it would take even faster for someone to realize she didn’t belong and throw her out – at best .
If that happened, she would be completely powerless.
“Starting to understand, huh?” Pei Ming remarks. “So then, why don’t we make a deal?”
Shi Qingxuan looks up.
“I can’t stand to see a pretty face like yours in tears. And as shady as you are, I really can’t sense any malice. If you say you’re after the Reverend of Empty Words, I’m going to believe you,” Pei Ming declares. He slicks back his hair with one hand. “How about it? You help me out, I’ll help you.”
Shi Qingxuan frowns. “How can I help?”
“Information. I know you have it,” Pei Ming replies. “I promised the Water Master I’d kill that monster. Never would have agreed if I knew what a pain it’d be, but I’m a man of my word. If you have any way of luring it out, I’ll take it.”
Shi Qingxuan lowers her head uncertainly. If the Reverend is still fixated on her, there is one method she can think of. But her body feels cold at the thought.
Pei Ming sees her hesitation.
“But if you don’t, that’s fine too. There are plenty of ways I can make use of you,” he says simply.
“Uses,” Shi Qingxuan repeats ruefully. “And what use are you going to be to me?”
Pei Ming grins. It’s the sleazy grin Shi Qingxuan knows and hates. “The way I see it, you need two things right now: a means of staying in the capital, and spiritual power. I can give you both.”
He holds out his hand.
“Here’s what we’re going to do…”
“Your deputy.”
Ling Wen states in flat disbelief as Pei Ming and Shi Qingxuan wear smiles that stretch up to their ears as though this isn’t the most outrageous thing they could come up with.
“You did say I could appoint whoever I wanted,” Pei Ming says proudly. “Nowhere did it say it had to be a man.”
“No, but at the very least, no one thought you would seriously try to appoint your lover . I mean, I shouldn’t be surprised and yet…” Ling Wen sighs. Shi Qingxuan sympathizes immensely. If Pei Ming had pulled such a stunt in her own time, she would have criticized him mercilessly.
And now, here she is. The very lover he is trying to appoint.
(Minus actually being his lover. She’d rather die, thank you.)
Pei Ming continues, “The rules clearly state that an official of the Upper Court can appoint anyone he wishes as a deputy god. Only family members are forbidden, barring certain circumstances, of course.”
“So nice of you to remember the rules when they suit you.”
“My point is, this young lady,” Pei Ming wraps his arm around Shi Qingxuan’s waist and pulls her close to his side, “shows a lot of promise and I have determined that she is a good fit for my palace. It would be a waste to let her light fade away in the mortal realm. Unless, of course, you want a friend to ease your burdens, Nangong. I won’t object.”
Pei Ming seems very pleased at that remark, but Ling Wen scrunches her nose in distaste, and Shi Qingxuan looks up at her fake lover in alarm.
Sure it doesn’t actually matter whose deputy god she becomes – but being Ling Wen’s junior is infinitely worse than being Pei Ming’s! Sure, she may hate Ling Wen less, but she would never have a free moment again! Forget killing the Reverend, she’d die of exhaustion first!
She peels Pei Ming’s arm off, and draws Ling Wen’s frown. In her plain attire, her glare looks even more austere.
“Is something wrong?” Shi Qingxuan asks innocently.
“Forgive my bluntness, but you don’t seem like General Ming Guang’s usual type. I was wondering how this came to be.”
“O-oh, you know!” Just a little time travel, misunderstanding, and temporary alliance, the usual, Shi Qingxuan thinks ruefully, and quickly slips her arms around Pei Ming’s and rests her head on his shoulder. “I just really want to be here with my darling Pei. I-I’ll work hard?” Pei Ming smiles and caresses her cheek in turn. It must look like a natural enough exchange between lovers, because Ling Wen awkwardly averts her gaze.
“It’s really not a matter of working hard,” she grumbles. “General Pei, I don’t know how you tricked this poor girl, but you’d better take care of her. I’m not doing it for you.”
“I always take good care of my lovers,” he points out happily. And that’s really the worst of it. The whole point of making Shi Qingxuan his deputy is to give her access to both the capital and Ming Guang’s spiritual reserves so she could search for the Reverend of Empty Words. They really don’t have to be lovers.
But then, why else would Pei Ming suddenly appoint a random woman as his deputy god – his first, even, since he’d apparently spent his entire heavenly tenure thus far refusing to appoint any.
She hates him so much.
But for now she can only swallow her pride as the two of them go through the needed procedures to make her appointment official. This is the easiest way. Shi Qingxuan knows this. She accepts this.
As they bid their farewells, Pei Ming leads her out of the palace, and promptly puts his arms around her shoulders.
“That went over way better than I thought it would,” Pei Ming admits guilelessly. “I’m looking forward to working with you, lover .”
“Likewise ,” Shi Qingxuan replies through gritted teeth.
Inside though, she fears her days are only going to get worse.
The palace hasn’t even disappeared from sight before Nangong Jie’s voice echoes in Pei Ming’s head.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
With the girl at his side sulking in her own thoughts, Pei Ming answers in the array.
“Of course I do. I’ve needed a junior for a while now.”
“This isn’t like you.”
“Really? I feel it’s exactly the sort of thing I would do.” He chuckles to himself. He’s very proud of his reputation after all, and the occasional use it gets him. “More importantly, I found a lead on our friend . Tell Shuishi-xiong he can rest easy.”
“I’m sure he’ll be very reassured after you failed to find even a trace before.”
“It’ll turn up again. It always does.” And as far as Pei Ming is concerned, he’s found someone much better. He tugs at a strand of his new deputy’s hair, causing her to squeak and try to break away like a hissing cat. Blithely, he reminds her that they’re still in public, forcing her to plaster on an unconvincing smile once again.
Already Pei Ming can tell she’ll be a handful. A suspicious story and fake skin is one thing, but she can’t even act! But if she can get him the information he needs, he’ll figure something out.
Swapping fates, was it? He’d rather it not come to that.