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Regulus fisted his hands in his hair, exhaling sharply in annoyance. His eyes were screwed shut and the picture of James Potter with his winning grin filled his mind. Opening his eyes quickly, he winced at the harsh lights that shone either side of him. He paced the corridor, angry footsteps loud in his ears.
He had never thought of himself as a sore loser, however when James reached his hand in the air, golden Snitch flickering between his fingers, rage rose in his chest. Muttering the password, he entered the common room and walked up the stairs, ignoring the curious glares from others.
The door slammed against the wall as he opened it. Mind blurred, he collapsed on to his bed and tangled in the white sheets. He laid on his stomach, burying his burning red face in his pillow. His eyes were heavy with exhaustion, and when they closed, he tried to dispel the picture of James that filled his mind.
"You alright, Reg?" Pandora's voice asked, making him jump. Her head peered around the half-open curtains that surrounded his bed and she sighed, sitting down on the bed beside him.
"Why are you in the boys' dorm room, Pandora?" he asked incredulously, muffled by the pillow that still covered his face.
He could hear the smile in her voice when she replied, "I am here for you, of course. Because, even though you lost, I still think you're the best bloody Seeker in Hogwarts."
"That's not- I don't care that we lost," he sighed, rolling over on to his back and looking up at her.
Her eyes flickered over his face, searching for something unsaid, but she wisely veered the subject, "Hey, how about we go to the party in the Gryffindor common room?"
"Me and Gryffindors don't mix well together, in case you hadn't noticed," he huffed.
"I don't know about that," Pandora paused for a moment, laughing quietly, "Sometimes, I think you're more Gryffindor than Slytherin."
Regulus sat up abruptly and retorted, sounding very offended, "Oi! Don't be mean."
"It was meant the opposite way, I assure you," she said, hiding a chuckle behind her hands, "But, please. We can leave at any point."
Regulus tapped his finger on his knee lightly, considering her suggestion. Reluctantly, he nodded, sucking in a calming breath.
"Oh, yay!" Pandora grinned, pulling Regulus into a side hug. Her arm snaked around his waist and he pressed close to her, smelling her lavender perfume.
"But I am not carrying you back if you get blackout drunk."
Pandora nodded into the crook of his neck, squeezing him tighter, and he relaxed into her, biting back a smile.
~
"Okay, so, don't get too drunk; don't leave without me; and don't make me dance with you," Regulus listed, counting on his fingers.
"Yeah, yeah, come on, Reg," Pandora showed a toothy grin and grabbed his hand, leading him through the portrait to the Gryffindor common room.
The entrance had been left ajar, as various students hurried in with loud laughs and shouts. Regulus blinked harshly, taking in the crowds of unfamiliar people and the intoxicating aroma of perfume and nicotine.
"Holy shit," he whispered.
He had never been in the Gryffindor common room and was surprised at how cozy it seemed. Armchairs huddled around a blazing fire, with red blankets draped over them. The lights were a warm yellow, unlike the harsh, white lights of the Slytherin common rook.
He bit his lip hard to distract himself from anxiety that fizzled in his stomach and weaved through the mass of people. Pandora said something to him, but he didn't hear it over the blaring chatter and music. She waved goodbye to him and ran off in the opposite direction.
He bumped into a table laden with various bottles and drinks, and inspected them warily. He shook his head, dispelling his caution, and grabbed one of the bottles. It was large and filled with a deep brown liquid. He took a plastic cup from the table and haphazardly poured himself half a cup of the liquid. Barely flinching, he drank it in two long gulps and wiped his mouth.
Dizziness clouded his head, whether from the crowds or alcohol he didn't know, so he scoured the room for an empty seat. He bumped into lots of people, but couldn't bother apologising.
Soon, he found a window seat in the far left corner of the common room, and he sat down with his knees to his chest. When he opened the window beside him, the breath of fresh air calmed him considerably and he felt the cool breeze tingling against his cheeks.
The loud noise clawed at his skin and he leant back harshly in irritation.
"You alright there?" A familiar voice asked from beside him.
Regulus tilted his head towards the voice, feeling anger resurface under his skin. That same anger he got every time he saw James Potter.
"You just looked a bit lonely," James continued with his never-ending grin.
"I'm perfectly fine," Regulus muttered through his gritted teeth and clenched jaw. He exhaled sharply, "Piss off, Potter."
"I prefer James," he replied, somehow unfazed by Regulus' disdain.
Regulus didn't reply out of the fear of doing something stupid. Instead, he leant his head in the opposite direction, so that it poked out of the window slightly.
"You did great in the match today," James tried.
Decidedly, he kept ignoring James. He dug into his pocket and brought out a packet of cigarettes and his lighter. Opening the packet, he pulled out one, before reluctantly pulling out another and passing it to James wordlessly.
First, he lit his own. He watches the bright flame flicker against the end of his cigerette until it caught fire and he passed the lighter to James. Their hands brushed and Regulus suppressed a shiver. He took a long drag of his cigarette, relaxing as it filled his lungs with a gentle burn. When he exhaled, he stared at the puff of smoke until it dissipated into nothing.
"Not very talkative today?" James asked. Regulus snapped his neck around to look at him, staring when he saw his long fingers curl around the cigarette as he brought it to his moth.
"When am I ever talkative, Potter?" Regulus sneered, raising an eyebrow and taking another comforting drag.
"I can think of a few instances," James said with a coy smile, "It's a real shame that you stopped coming to the Astronomy Tower."
"That's not-" Regulus hissed quietly, leanjng in so they couldn't be heard, "We don't talk about that."
James looked taken aback at his serious tone and clearly noticed the waver in Regulus' voice as his smile softened, "You don't have to be scared, Reg. It's just me."
"Don't call me that," Regulus warned, looking away from James again when his voice cracked slightly.
"What am I supposed to call you then?" James asked. He has a teasing smile stretched across his lips, but his eyes were deep with worry.
"You aren't," Regulus said firmly. He swung his legs over the seat and stood up, vision swaying, "You aren't supposed to talk to me. Or come near me. Or think about me."
Regulus pushed passed James, electric sparking where their shoulders brushed against each other.
"I can't help thinking about you." He thought he heard James whisper from behind him, but he couldn't bring himself to look back.
He didn't know where to go now. If he went back to his dorm, his friends would likely still be awake and pester him relentlessly, and the party was suffocating him, so he obviously couldn't stay there.
He used to go the Astronomy Tower often at night. He'd watch the stars blinking down at him, and sometimes he'd even talk to them, breaking the silence. Somehow, a couple of months ago, James had found his sacred spot. He didn't stop going just because his brother's friend was there, because he was there first.
But, then they began to talk. He found out a lot about James Potter over the month. He found out that his favourite colour is yellow, because it reminds him of the sun. And he didn't like pumpkin juice, but drank it anyway. And he didn't feel happy all the time.
He told James that he didn't feel happy all the time too.
Walking up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower flooded him with memories of late night conversations and whispered confessions. He clenched his fist, because James wasn't like that anymore. He was a stranger and maybe he always had been.
He walked into the top of the tower, sitting down and dangling his feet over the edge. James hated it when he did that.
"I hate it when you do that." It was James' voice. Great, so now Regulus was imagining things.
He buried his face in his hands, holding back fierce tears that threatened to fall, and sighed.
"I am sorry, you know," James' voice called out again, soft and heartbroken and very real.
Regulus whipped his head around in shock to see James standing there, tugging on his sleeves and shivering in the midnight cold. He looked back to the stars, staring at them with concentration and blatantly ignoring James.
"I am sorry for hurting you," James started to say, walking closer and closer.
"You couldn't hurt me," Regulus said, but it sounded like a lie with his strangled voice.
"But somehow I managed to," James sighed, sitting down beside him with his legs crossed. He tapped Regulus' thigh, who glared at him sharply, but pulled his legs up so that they didn't dangle over the edge.
Regulus stayed silent again, so James spoke with an edge to his voice, "I don't regret kissing you."
"That's unfair," Regulus whispered tightly, eyes stinging with blurry tears.
"It's not, it isn't I promise," James said, almost pleading, "We're okay. This is good, Reg. For both of us."
"I told you not to call me that," Regulus said, before choking out a sob, red hot tears staining his face.
"Oh," James murmured and wrapped his arm around Regulus' shoulder, pulling him tighter and tighter.
"No," Regulus said sharply, pushing James back and standing up. He paced back and forth, dragging his feet across the stone floor, "No, I kissed you and you didn't kiss me back. That's what happened, Potter."
"James, call me James, please," James said, as if Regulus calling him by anything else physically hurt him, "And I wanted to kiss you back, but you ran."
Regulus inhaled sharply and halted, but James continued, "It wasn't your fault, I know that. But, you ran and you ran and I couldn't keep up. I wanted to kiss you, Reg. I want to kiss you."
James stood up, and faced Regulus. He reached up to brush a curl from Regulus' face, but he flinched away and watched as James' face fell.
"You don't want this. You don't want to be mine like I want to be yours," Regulus said quietly, words spilling from his mouth and tainting the stretched silence.
"Oh, I do," whispered James, "Please, Reg, I really do. I'm always yours, I promise."
"Stop," he swallowed thickly, tears threatening to stain his cheeks. James was stood there with his eyes watering and his mouth down-turned. It hurt.
"I don't want to. Do you want me to?"
No, of course he didn't. Regulus wanted him to keep on going until he was all burnt up and they could just hold each other.
"This wasn't supposed to- I don't-" Regulus choked out, words slipping from his throat incoherently.
"Can I just-?" James gestured forward with his hand and Regulus nodded rapidly.
Arms encircled him warmly around his waist and Regulus buried his head deep into he shoulder. He grasped James' shirt tightly in his fists and let out small, choked sobs.
"Oh, Reg," James sighed, voice laced with pain, "Breathe with me."
Regulus inhaled deeply, matching James, and exhaled shakily. Again and again, until his eyes were dry and his breaths were steadied.
"I'm sorry. Oh, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry,"James repeated over and over again in a troubled incantation.
Regulus tore his body away, only to crave more and more. The absence of James' body left him with a cold, empty space.
"Please," James continued, reaching his hands forward, "Just me and you, yeah? You have me and I'll have you and we'll be okay. We'll be okay, Reg."
Regulus opened his mouth to speak, urge him on or protest weakly, but the words died in his throat. He clenched his fists to try stop any more tears that gathered in his eyes.
"Just say yes. Please, just anything? I need you," James pleaded, eyes blown wide and eyebrows furrowed.
"I don't know what I'm supposed to do," he confessed, stepping back a little.
"Nothing or everything. Whatever you want, love."
Love. His heart truly melted at those words and he squeezed his eyes shut in conflict.
"What? What's wrong?" James fretted, which only made him more attractive at this point.
"Nothing," Regulus dared to say, "Just you and me."
"You and me," James echoed, taking a step forwards eagerly.
With those sweet words, Regulus took a step and grabbed James by his shirt, tilting his head. Their lips met and, oh, Regulus never wanted it to end. He rocked forward, pulling James entirely closer, and sunk into him. He was addicted to James' mouth and its intoxicating bliss.
It was like lightening. The flow of electricity brightened them both, whilst their thundering hearts beat together. He pulled away, sucking in a breath, before chasing James' lips again. Regulus was truly enraptured by James, as he kissed deeper and deeper. Their bones shifted together, slipping into the hollow cracks of each other's bodies.
"Oh," James murmured, pulling back reluctantly, "You're so lovely. Lovely, lovely, lovely."
Their foreheads were pressed together and as Regulus tried to duck away with flushed cheeks, James held him still. He stayed in place, whilst James stared at his heavy eyes and red cheeks, until eyes flickered to bitten lips again.
James leaned in first this time, smiling in to the kiss. Regulus swallowed down laughter that threatened to slip from his lips, but when James parted his lips and pressed kisses across his jaw, he laughed quietly.
"What's so funny?" James murmured against his skin, letting out a soft chuckle of his own.
He didn't reply and instead clasped James' jaw and brought him back up to face him, noses brushing together again.
"I missed you," Regulus whispered so quietly that the words were barely there, before leaning back in. Those soft lips were a dizzying addiction and Regulus never wanted it to stop. He'd stay there forever if he could just have more and more.
"I missed you too," James pulled back, leaving Regulus aching for more. He grinned widely, as if he was drunk on the kiss, "And I think you're so beautiful."
James pressed a light kiss to his cheek and wrapped his arms around Regulus again, so tightly that their heartbeats almost merged together as one.
"Just you and me," Regulus said softly into James' skin, lips brushing his neck lightly. He could hear the wids smile in James' voice, as he repeated those words.
"Just you and me."