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Tsukishima Kei has had every kind of admirer out there, had every kind of gift given to him, heard every kind of way a confession can be delivered. It didn't faze him any more than a volleyball to the face.
Chocolates were the most common gift. What made these girls think that he even liked chocolates was beyond him like a dead star that was at least a million light years away from where he's standing. Other than that, there were bentos that tried to rival the sweets and Tsukishima could've sworn that these admirers are just planning on stuffing him like a turkey and then roast him over a pit.
There were the occasional pre-made, store-bought cards that obviously didn't impress Tsukishima at all. Seriously. If you're going to confess, at least pass an actual letter written from the heart like some of the others gave him. Is that any way to convey such a heartfelt message? For shame.
Other gifts include stuff toys, keychains, and one of the really in-deep ones once got him an album of his favorite band. Sadly, he turned them down.
Flowers were absolute courting gifts. But for some odd reason, Tsukishima has never gotten one in his sad life. Ever. Like at all.
Which is why he was surprised to see a white flower on top of his school desk when he went to retrieve his bag after cleaning duty.
Gotta give them points for precision though. The last rays of sunset filtered through the classroom window and oddly complimented the flower's rather large petals, orange light blending in with the pure white made the flower look like it's glowing. The thing sat at the very center of his desk and the way Tsukishima found it made it look so dramatically.... Endearing. He almost felt sorry disrupting the display when he picked it up.
Surprisingly, there were no notes or letters pertaining to who the flower was from, which was typical secret admirer tactic now that he thought about it. Not that he minded. Not that he cared.
Tsukishima kept it though. He set it up in a vase filled with water even though it would've been fine if it was half full, and propped it on his bedside drawer.
It was such a small "gift", that Tsukishima actually forgot about it a week later. Until he got another one.
He hardly knew the name of the first flower, much less the next one. The stalk hung lazily from his desk, its small petals a soothing purple color. He found it sticking from his notes like a bookmark when he came back to the classroom.
Strange, he thought. He narrowed his eyes in deep thought.
It was midday, lunch break, with only a few classmates of theirs loitering about in the room. No one from other classes hung around inside the room, at least none that he recognized. It was like an unspoken rule that whenever someone needs to talk or spend time with one of their classmates, they would do it outside their rooms. And he was gone for the bathroom for like a minute, roughly sixty seconds.
Which means, the flower came from someone in the room.
Tsukishima critically eyed every single person in there. The shy girl sitting by herself with her phone in hand was one of the obvious suspects, too obvious more like it. It could be one of those others who talked loudly with one another. In the end, he settled with just asking Yamaguchi, who sat three seats away from his. He couldn't have missed them if they passed by him and acted all suspicious-like in front of Tsukki's desk.
Tsukishima pulled a seat and sat directly in front of his friend. He addresses to him casually. "Hey, Yamaguchi,"
Yamaguchi spares him a look before he fixes his gaze back to the worksheet flat on his desk. "Hi Tsukki,"
The blond props his chin up with an arm on Yamaguchi's workspace. "Did you see anyone by my desk while I was gone?" He starts with a noncommittal voice.
"You were gone for like sixty-two seconds, Tsukki," Gotta give credit to Yamaguchi for accuracy.
"Uh, huh. Okay, well. I'll try to tinkle a little faster next time," Tsukishima follows the way the brunet's pen skid across the paper. "But no really, did you see anyone by my desk?"
Yamaguchi stops writing to look at him. "I didn't see anyone,"
"Really now. You are like, literally just beside my place. And you didn't see anyone,"
"Nope," He goes back to writing. Yamaguchi might as well lean down and kiss his desk with how engrossed he is on his homework.
"Yamaguchi,"
"Tsukki," He returns, voice soft, smile gracing his lips. "I can't talk right now. I'm trying to..."
Trying to...? What? Are you kidding? Is he really that distracted that he couldn't even finish telling the other off? The blond sighs, his sound of disappointment basically falling on deaf ears. Tsukishima's just tempted to grab his chin, squish his cheeks maybe, and force the freckled boy to look at him directly.
Or you know. Something like that.
"Yamaguchi," He tries again, voice firm. But was cut off by a prolonged shushing sound from his friend. Yamaguchi had the gall to even raise a finger to retaliate and Tsukishima was left with the urge to flick the other's forehead for being cheeky with him.
But he lets the topic drop to the floor. It wasn't really that important anyway.
That night, Tsukishima put the purple bloom on the same vase as the white flower, said flower already drooping sickly as a sign of its impeding life.
And he spent the next few days like he normally did, which just involved school and volleyball practice. From time to time though, he would watch the flowers by his bed when he gets too distracted from studying. They didn't move, god knows what he'd do if they did, but they were just kind of nice to look at. It made his dreary, plain-looking bedroom look a little more homey. And sometimes he would catch the faint floral smell on his notebook where he found the purple one.
He was greeted by another flower one day during lunch. And this he knew the name of: it was a yellow tulip.
He and Yamaguchi were going to eat somewhere in the school grounds that wasn't their classroom. It varies from time to time where they would spend this hour. Sometimes by the back of the gym, sometimes at the garden, the rooftop, the school cafeteria, just anywhere they felt like eating. It was more to change something in their rather dull school routine.
His attention still fixated on the flower. The stalk was too long and it was propped awkwardly on top of his bento where he left it for a quick trip to the nearest vending machine. Beside that, there was a juice box beside his lunch and surprise, surprise: a note was finally attached to it.
Sadly, the note said literally nothing. There was just a doodle of a smiley face on it. How charming.
Yamaguchi still wasn't in their meeting spot when Tsukishima found the tulip, so he was left with a little time to ponder over who the secret admirer was again.
No one really knew where he is right now, what his plans for lunch are, and judging by the location of where they decided to hang today, there was only a slim chance that someone would pass by them like this. So Tsukishima made the call that whoever this secret admirer is, they were probably hiding and following him. Which was off-putting now that he thought about it.
That, or someone had told this admirer where he was. Someone, the only one at that, who knew where they would be at this exact hour.
Said someone came rushing towards him right now, an apologetic smile gracing their features.
"Sorry I was late, Tsukki!" Yamaguchi stops in front of him. "I forgot my chopsticks in the classroom,"
"It's fine," He answers immediately, practiced for every time Yamaguchi apologizes for anything. Tsukishima sits down on the bench, prepping his lunch on his lap and the flower beside him.
Yamaguchi makes an interested hum when he spots the flower. He opens his own bento and digs in. "So who is it this time?" His voice was soft, like always. And casual, like always.
"I don't know," Tsukishima mutters. "There's no note on it,"
The brunet makes a noncommittal noise as he shrugs. Tsukishima just raises a brow at him.
The tulip was rather too tall and its bulb too heavy for it to fit on the vase. But he was able to make amends after trimming the stalk a bit.
It baffled Tsukishima to no end. It started as a mild concern, sure, but the more he put his mind into it as the week progressed, the more it didn't make sense.
Yamaguchi was not one to help one of Tsukishima's admirers before. If anything, and to put it more or less selfishly, Yamaguchi was on his side. Yamaguchi was there when he needed a scapegoat out of confessions, sometimes he was the one who made the excuses for Tsukishima, and obviously enough, he always had this sour constipated but professionally-kept-in-check kind of look on his face whenever someone would ask about Tsukishima's relationship status, so he couldn't have been on board with any of it.
The freckled boy also had a way with people. If anything, he was just as perceptive and observant as the blonde. He's a good judge of character and the only one who knew Tsukishima that well to know who would be compatible for him. So if Yamaguchi is actually going as far as to help this secret admirer of his to have a chance with Tsukishima, then that means that whoever they are, they're probably really cool right? They're a good match for Tsukki and Tsukki would probably really like them back too.
What a bunch of bull. Maybe Tsukishima would like them more if he actually even knew their name. It pissed him to no end, but mainly because Yamaguchi was actually daring enough to hide this stuff from him.
He could talk to the brunet about it, but this was all just speculation from his end anyway. And he knew what his answer would be when they finally reveal themselves to him.
Which was no.
So it didn't matter.
The next flower he found was the one that put all the puzzle pieces together, and honestly speaking, he wanted to slap himself silly for not figuring it out sooner.
The sun had long set before they finished their afternoon practice and cleaned up. It took them even more time, because the first years were in charge of closing up today much to Tsukishima's demise.
The idiot duo had skipped out immediately after clean-up, and Tsukishima was in charge of double checking everything and locking up the gym doors so he trailed out last. Yamaguchi waited for him by the school gate after he had finished changing.
He felt absolutely horrid from the rigorous training, and his steps up to the clubroom until he opened the door dragged with extra weight.
And there it was.
A beautiful red rose tucked halfway in his bag.
Its luscious red petals stood out in the dainty club room and Tsukishima even found himself stopping in his tracks the second he spotted it. A trail of rose petals lined up from the door up to where his bag was propped on in its attempt to pass off as something romantic. Tsukishima just sidestepped over the mess of petals on the floor. He's not cleaning that up.
Just like the first, it seemed to glow faintly on its own despite the lack of dramatic lighting. Maybe Tsukishima's eyesight is just getting worse.
He picks up the rose delicately as if one wrong turn would shatter the beauty into a million glass pieces, examining every crevice and every curl with fond eyes.
And then it clicks.
Nobody had access to the clubroom except for its members.Only the four of them were present just earlier that afternoon. Two of them had ran off before he had the chance to even say "volleyball", and the only other one beside his own soul was left alone to do as he pleased without anyone noticing.
Of course.
Tsukishima smirks to himself as he tucks the rose back in the wedge of his bag, careful to not bend it or ruin it in any way, and changes back to his spare change of clothes.
He and Yamaguchi walked home together, like they always did, and during one of Yamaguchi's pauses in between his babbling where they were both left hanging in comfortable silence, Tsukishima purposely slows down his steps so he was shoulder to shoulder with his friend and their pace match each other.
He moves a little closer without the brunet noticing. And Tsukishima catches the faint smell of rose on his school blazer. Somehow, it made him smile a little bit inside.
Tsukishima didn't really know what to feel as he added the rose to the little bundle of flowers by his bed.
Well for starters, he was relieved to a degree. It wasn't someone who he barely even knew this time, Yamaguchi was no stranger to him. But he also felt very... Confused.
No, not confused. He just didn't have the right word for it at the moment. It feels a little weird, if he had a proper say to it. Yeah. Weird.
Yamaguchi has been his friend for nearly six years and counting. If anything, he was the closest he could call a "best friend". The boy has become part of their family as much as he had become theirs with how much they spent time together. Tsukishima didn't mind his constant presence from day one. In fact, it had become a little bit endearing since the day they met, and Tsukishima would often catch himself looking for that presence whenever they weren't near. What can he say? Yamaguchi had became a constant in his life.
But dating Yamaguchi? Well... It didn't seem entirely so bad now that he thought about the possibility. They make sense when they're together, and every time they're together. It's a hard concept to put into words, but something just clicks whenever Tsukishima thinks of what would possibly transpire now that he'd consider this. Something right.
Granting each other favors, giving gifts out of the blue, holding hands, sharing heat in the cold night air with just their arms around each other, kissing his cheek...
Tsukishima had to blink himself back to reality and just stop for a second. He felt his ears warm up and suddenly he couldn't focus. At the corner of his eye, he spots the source of his troubles.
There he is again, just Yamaguchi dutifully taking notes as the lecture went on. Tsukishima can't even hear himself think properly, and here that freckled-face life ruiner was, sitting there without a care in the world.
And that's another thing. Almost all of Tsukishima's admirers were reduced to a blushing mess once graced with his presence. Even more so if he actually accepts their gifts. Frankly, he didn't quite understand how Yamaguchi kept his composure even when he drove himself to do such bold and embarrassingly romantic acts. But then again, Yamaguchi had the shining armor of anonymity which shielded what otherwise would just be a bundle of overworked nerves in the presence of the person he was infatuated with.
Tsukishima just doesn't know what to do with this information. Should he just talk with Yamaguchi? Or spare him the embarrassment of finding out and just bemuse the freckled boy?
The latter one just seemed cruel. But he doesn't really know how to deal with this kind of stuff.
His life is weird that way.
Weird like how Tsukishima Kei has never received flowers before in his entire life. Ever. Like at all.
The next flower wasn't just "one flower" though, it was dozen. A dozen teeny tiny little daisies decorated his bag. Unlike the others, this one drew some attention.
Just imagine: stoic, cold, hard-faced Tsukishima carrying a bag with daisies stuck on it. It's a rather hilarious but nonetheless cute mental image to keep.
He took them all down, albeit very carefully, and put them all in a makeshift vase that was just water in a small plastic cup. It sat on the very edge of his desk all day, near the window.
Yamaguchi wasn't even trying. No, not like that. What he did was actually laugh when he saw the teeny tiny vase acting like paper weight on Tsukki's notes.
"What is it with you and flowers lately, Tsukki?" Yamaguchi chuckled. It was quite an angelic sound. Kind of reminds you of sunlight on a warm summer day.
Tsukishima raised a brow at him. "I don't know. You tell me,"
Yamaguchi just ignores the accusing jab, seemingly still unfazed with the whole ordeal. And it drives Tsukishima absolutely nuts.
That night, Tsukishima stared and stared at the bouquet that had accumulated on his drawer, like how a lawyer would guilt trip their opponent with one look until they confess their sins. Honestly, if looks could kill, the flowers would've wilted right there and right now.
At this point, he was only confused with one thing. And that's the inconsistency of the flowers Yamaguchi has been leaving him.
In the very few romance shows that he's watched, the flowers the main characters gave each other would always be the same every time. It was like some sort of symbol for their love. Whatever.
Looking at the cluster of slowly dying flowers, Tsukishima concluded that it just doesn't... Look good at all. Not together at least. They didn't look good together.
Tsukishima looks at the red rose in particular. And looks back at the day he first saw it. Perfectly placed on its own. It was like the shining jewel that was the centerpiece of the room.
He remembered reading somewhere that the red rose was the symbol for passionate love. It was rather common knowledge, a piece of information thrown around everywhere and in every conversation he's had. Like some sort of conversation starter. And it sparked a bulb in Tsukishima's thoughts.
Grabbing his laptop and sitting back down in front of the floral shrine, Tsukishima typed a quick search in his browser.
And he smiles to himself as he finally figured it all out.
Since he didn't know the name of the first flower, he quickly searched its description first. Thankfully enough, he was able to learn of its name quickly. A gardenia. To which supposedly translated to "hidden love", "secret love". Or in other words, a "secret admirer". Very clever.
Very clever indeed, Yamaguchi.
The second was a lilac. Tsukishima didn't get to sit back and admire its beauty when he first received it, neither can he do that now with said flower slowly wilting already but the pictures that came up in his search were quite stunning. The meaning of it made Tsukishima ponder a bit however, and he got to thinking about Yamaguchi and what he felt when he slipped this bloom in his notebook that day.
First love.
That's quite something to think about.
The yellow tulip. A symbol for being hopelessly in love. Tsukishima laughed at this one. And the daisies as a symbol of loyalty made him laugh even harder. Of course, Yamaguchi would give him something like this.
But the laugh he made wasn't to mock the freckled boy's efforts. There was a certain ache in his chest when he read the meanings after all, and oddly enough, it was so embarrassing that all he could do was laugh at how dumb it was.
Yamaguchi was just so dumb and sweet and stupidly in love. Not that Tsukishima's any better.
But hey. At least now he more or less have an idea of what Yamaguchi's trying to do. And he got a good laugh out of it too.
He started looking forward to the flowers his "gardenia" was giving him, looking forward to taking them home and deciphering what kind of message it held.
Tsukishima decided to not say a word about it as to not disrupt the other from whatever it is they're doing. But he made sure to display his fondness to no one in particular as he received these flowers, as long as they were in earshot or line of sight.
"Wow, Tsukki," Yamaguchi teased him one day. "You must really like those flowers huh?"
"Maybe," The blond smirks as he twirls a bud of pink rose in hand, a symbol for admiration it seems. He directs his narrowed but otherwise playful gaze towards his friend. "Maybe it's the sender I like. Who knows?"
Yamaguchi hums in acknowledgement. "Do you know them already?"
"No," Yamaguchi still denies it, of course. He still played the role of the “wing man” who seemed nonchalant with everything. It makes a tick develop in Tsukishima's temple, but he lets it slide. It's only a matter of time. "Not yet,"
More flowers came after that. And Tsukishima took note of the meaning of each.
It was quite interesting. Red flowers usually mean the same thing as red was the color of intensity, passion, love. Whether he receives a tulip, a rose, a chrysanthemum, he didn't mind. It meant the same thing yet it was like managing to say the same thing over and over again in many different ways that it didn't lose its charm.
Yellow was a color of happiness, gratitude, friendship. It was often tied with compliments as well and these were the flowers that were always nice to stare at until they perished.
But the meaning of each bloom still depended and he was quite confused when he read up on the meaning of the lively yellow chrysanthemum. He received it one afternoon, on his desk, similar to how he found the first flower.
Slighted love. Unrequited, in other words. Tsukishima didn't know what it meant exactly.
He spent that night completely frowning on the yellow bloom in hand.
Did it mean that the sender really didn't mean it all? Unrequited. Was it a mix up? Slighted.
Was it pertaining to him? Of what he felt?
Tsukishima sighs as he set the flower in the vase. It was getting quite cramped in that porcelain thing. He might need to get another one.
It was a week before another flower has been left on top of his bag.
The color blue was often associated with feelings of melancholy or anything of the sort.
He just hoped that whatever the blue rose meant, it wasn't as bad as he was blowing it up in his head.
Blue roses were uncommon, and certainly an enigma in nature. They didn't grow as common as red or pink roses, because they don't exist at all. Blue roses are an alteration of white roses, tinting them as sprouts by human hand to get the soothing sapphire hue a lot of people love.
But it is because of their unnatural occurrence that they are considered to be symbols of something that is hard to grasp by one hand, by mere thought.
A symbol of the impossible. The unattainable.
It made something twist his gut in the wrong way.
Maybe it was about time he returned the sentiment.
He wasn't very good at the whole flower thing. He knew too little to get something significant like how Yamaguchi had been doing, plus he didn't even know where the hell he's gonna get it. He's not very keen on looking for a flower shop to get just one flower. So he settles on picking a single carnation.
It was simple, small, but the meaning behind the red petals screamed what he wanted to say that he couldn't transcribe into actual words. He places the carnation on Yamaguchi's bag before he heads out to practice.
Whether or not Yamaguchi got it, Tsukishima didn't know exactly. The freckled boy just gave him a small smile, his usual one, before they set off to walk home together.
He didn't like that smile. It hid something from him.
The flowers stopped coming in after that. They stopped reaching Tsukishima.
He didn't know what to feel about that last one. And he sat there in his bedroom, surrounded by flowers in various stages of decay, thinking of what he might've done to upset his admirer to the point that they stopped with the endeavor entirely.
It was like a flower morgue in his room. It certainly did smell like one. And with a heavy heart, he decided it was time to throw out those which had long died.
A single flower remained in the vase. It was the unnatural, unattainable blue rose.
It stood there like it was mocking him, urging him to do something about this, break the very symbol of the unattainable and make it something that he can reach, he can grab with both hands.
It didn't make a whole lot of sense. But he'll be damned if he doesn't do anything.
Just something. Anything. Something he can do for Yamaguchi. Something he deserved.
Yamaguchi Tadashi is a kid with a lot of aspirations. You can dump a metric ton of worries on his back and he would be sure to carry it after a few falters, because let's face it, nobody can be strong without having a taste of what it was like being a failure first. He had a smile that would put a thousand angels to shame, a smile that would motivate one to do their best. These were just things Yamaguchi is towards those who he didn't owe it to, and it wasn't even the half of what made him what he is.
He was a lot of things, and frankly, if Tsukishima wasn't at all embarrassed to admit it all out, he'd scream them to the heavens. But out of all, Yamaguchi was Tsukishima's friend. He was someone who dedicated a large portion of his attention to someone who hardly cares. He was someone who did their best so well that Tsukishima was left with nothing to do but do the same. He was someone who didn't give enough shit, who didn't take enough shit, not from anyone and certainly not from Tsukishima.
And he was a fool who had fallen for him too, apparently.
Ah, fuck it all to hell. Tsukishima loves him too.
The next day, he took it upon himself to march right to Yamaguchi's house.
With a large bouquet of red roses in tow.
It was the least he could do, even lesser because this didn't require words from his end. It was pretty lame. But then again, so was Yamaguchi.
Frankly, Yamaguchi was quite surprised when he opened the door and his senses immediately gets overridden by the strong scent of roses. And he was unable to properly make himself coherent when he realized that the one who had delivered them was Tsukki himself.
Gratitude and unconditional love. A bouquet of red roses meant such. And Yamaguchi quickly catches on.
"I'm sorry," Tsukishima manages to add in. "For whatever I did,"
A second of silence lingered between them both.
"What?" Yamaguchi breathed. And then he busts into a fit of giggles in which Tsukishima just raises a brow at.
"What?" Tsukishima echoed dumbly.
"You didn't do anything..? At least, I didn't think you did anything?" The brunet tries to stop laughing.
"Then why? The flowers... Stopped coming,"
Yamaguchi finally sighed, ridding tears of laughter in his eyes. And then his expression turns distant, serious, but the smile never left him.
"I don't know... I just thought... It didn't matter to you anymore. Or something," He says. "I guess I was wrong,"
"I did say I liked the sender didn't I?" Tsukishima mutters with a grin that caught on to Yamaguchi.
"Took you long enough,"
"Give me a break. I'm slow with this kind of things,"
Yamaguchi laughed again. "So now what?"
"Whoa hey, I wasn't the one who started this whole thing," The blond jabs at the other. "I think maybe the "secret admirer" should finally reveal themselves, don't you think?"
Tsukishima was a little shit who got off on humiliating others, smothering it on their faces the very moment he realizes that he’s right about something. Yamaguchi was no exception to that, but the freckled boy was anything but humiliated. He was feeling all giddy and light more like it.
He steps up, tall and proud, face inches from Tsukishima's and his grin practically brushes over the other's own.
"It was me. I like you, Tsukki,"
Tsukishima breathes. "Yep. Called it,"
He lets out a laugh when Yamaguchi hit him lightly on the chest. But any other sound was cut off when Yamaguchi pulls him down to meet his lips.
Tsukishima's heart did that stupid thing where it jumped around all over his chest. Maybe deepening this kiss would shut it up.
"Here," Tsukishima mutters after they've parted. He urges for Yamaguchi to take the bouquet from his hold already. "My arms are getting tired,"
"Such a baby, Tsukki," Yamaguchi shakes his head, clicking his tongue.
And there it is again. That smile. Small as a rosebud but as lovely as a sunflower. Whatever the hell that means. This was probably the third time Tsukishima has noticed Yamaguchi's smile and compared it to something heavenly. God, that's so dumb.
"Wait," He tugs lightly on the other's shirt. There was one more flower he'd like to give to express an unspoken truth.
The blond reaches for the bouquet again, digging his hand in the clump of red flowers to pull out a completely different one. Just one. It had large petals that blended with the luscious velvet color of the roses, but the edges of of its petals fades into a light yellow.
Hibiscus flowers were hard to find in this town, he must admit. But hey, Tsukishima's a man of miracles too, apparently.
Yamaguchi's face turned as red as the flowers scooped up in his arms when Tsukishima tucked the bloom behind the freckled boy's ear. Said freckled boy couldn't help but laugh at the cheesiness of it all.
"Shut up. You're ruining it,"
"Sorry, Tsukki,"
Tsukishima invited himself in Yamaguchi's household and grabbed the other's hand. "So... Lilacs, huh?"
"Shush," Yamaguchi cuts him off immediately, the tips of his ears growing red and making Tsukishima laugh. The blond leans in to press a chaste kiss on the back of the other's ear, where he put the hibiscus.
"Well, I lilac you too,"
"What is that even supposed to mean?"
"Wait no, I messed that up—“
Yamaguchi giggles, squeezing on his hand.
"You're my lilac too,"
Well if that wasn't the most disgustingly endearing thing Tsukishima has ever said to someone, then may he get struck by lightning right then and there.
At least they didn't have to do anything too cheesy after that. Tsukishima was painfully expecting it and was quite relieved when they just chatted like they normally did, played video games like they normally did. Except this time they were pressed closer to each other, they held hands, stole kisses from each other.
But not during video games, of course. Have you played video games while holding hands with someone? Pretty hard, might I tell you. And god forbid distract Yamaguchi with kisses during Mario Kart. He'll knee you in the stomach and that's not something to put lightly. Just ask Tsukishima.
What Yamaguchi did with the bouquet of gratitude and unconditional love, that's kind of his problem now. At least, his room would smell like flowers too, the same way Tsukishima's did.