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When your best friend Deidara texted you that he was coming over for a girls night, you graciously offered your space to him. However, when he arrived, he also brought an absurd amount of people into your home. Your private space.
One by one, his friends gathered into your living room and instantly began filling the room with noise. The one with grey hair and an obnoxious personality instantly turned on the TV and started commenting on how stupid the show was (but refused to change it). The blue one was chatting with Deidara and the one in a strange mask. The scary one with piercing green eyes was yelling at the grey-haired one for being so loud, which was going completely ignored. Threats were being thrown around by everyone and it was a matter of time before you got dragged into the mess.
You needed to regain control of the house. Now.
Quickly, you stood on your dining chair and clapped your hands, shouting to get attention. “EVERYONE SHUT UP,” you yelled, and the room went silent. Every head turned to you, and you felt a blush creep up to your cheeks at the sudden attention. “You all are way too fucking loud, and I have neighbors, so I am bringing order back to this chaos.” You turned to Deidara, who was dangling half off the couch at this point and slumping toward the floor.
“Deidara, my dear, I was told this was going to be a girls night .”
He gave a thumbs up and smiled at you. “It is a girls night, Y/N! I just brought my friends with me ‘cuz they always give me shit for hanging out with you so I wanted to show ‘em what it was all about!”
Quickly, your brows furrowed. Rude.
“He means to say that we think ‘girls night’ is a stupid fuckin’ thing,” the grey-haired man called out. Then, at a lower level, he faced you and slicked back his hair with his hand. “Name’s Hidan, by the way,” he said with a smirk. You rolled your eyes at him.
“I don’t care what you guys think, but I will not be letting my girls night go undone. If you’re here, you’re participating in girls night.”
Hidan was quick to groan, but was slapped on the leg by Deidara. “It’s fun as hell, loser! Don’t be so lame!”
The blue-skinned man was next to speak to you. “What exactly does this evening entail then, Y/N?”
You smiled. “Oh, not much!”
-
You were halfway into Legally Blonde when you finally learned everyones names. It was difficult to get everyone to sit in a circle on your living room floor while Legally Blonde played, as most of the men there had deemed themselves too masculine and mature for a little bit of pink and fun. However, you were determined to forcibly feminize these men. When you brought out your extensive collection of nail polish, though, the boys were eager to pick their colors.
“Oh, OH,” Deidara leaped at you and shoved his hand into the pile, “I WANT PINK THIS TIME!”
Tobi was next to shove his hand in, picking out a neon orange with a sparkling glitter top-coat to shine. Kakuzu took a random one from the pile without looking, which turned out to be a nice deep blue. Kisame carefully sifted through the colors, opening and swatching some on his hand and collecting a small pile of various shades of cool colors. Eventually, he settled on a dazzling baby blue with a gorgeous chrome dust to go with it. Sasori, who had been mostly quiet until then, picked out a shade of red that closely resembled his hair color. The last one to pick the color was Itachi, who had been completely silent up until that moment.
You held out a bunch of colors and smiled up at Itachi, who was sitting on the couch looking poised as ever. He had hardly moved an inch the entire time he had been there. “What color would you like, Itachi?”
His eyes darted from your hand to the pile, as though he was thinking. He opened his mouth to speak.
“I’d like you to pick for me, Y/N.”
Itachi had made a mistake. You were given far too much power.
Everyone had started painting their own nails while you started interrogating Itachi to find the perfect nails for him. You asked for his favorite color, his favorite food, his favorite animal, his favorite flower, his favorite pattern, his favorite everything . You were determined to get his nail design right.
In the end, you decided on a simple, yet stunning, red nail with a flock of black crows. He was lucky to have such a skilled nail technician with him, as you were very intently drawing the crows onto his nails for the entirety of Legally Blonde 2. When you were finally finished, you gently grasped Itachi’s hand and shoved it in his own face, proudly declaring that you were finished with your work. Deidara inspected the nails carefully before congratulating you on your job well done. Tobi did a series of “ohh”’s and “ahh!”’s at your skill, outwardly expressing his yearning for you to do his nails. Itachi had yet to say anything, but you could tell he was clearly socially exhausted from all your questioning. When you had caught him holding his nails under the lamp next to him, gazing at them with the slightest indication of a smile on his face, you knew that he didn’t need to say anything at all to you.
When Legally Blonde 2 ended, the games were brought out. First, a few rounds of blackjack were played before Kisame got yelled at for card counting. Next up was a game of poker, which you were so laughably bad at that Deidara had given you half of his popcorn kernels as a joke and you were still the one with the least money at the table. Finally, Uno was brought out.
“I am going to beat the shit out of you,” Hidan whisper-yelled harshly at Deidara, who kicked him in response. You and Kisame did everything to hold in your laughter, but that proved to be useless the moment Sasori and Kakuzu began smacking Hidan for trying to reach across and strangle Deidara. The pair were relentless, always fighting playfully with each other, and it was far more entertaining than any game would be.
“I find their stupidity to be utterly hilarious,” Kisame laughed as Hidan let out a cry of pain from Kakuzu tugging him back to his spot. You giggled and leaned back, saying “it’s so funny seeing how ridiculous they are!”
After Kakuzu had put a second +4 onto Kisame’s hand, though, things quickly went south. A bitter match of insult-throwing ensued, and it was quick to evolve into something you didn’t want causing bloodstains on your precious (apartment rental) carpet.
“I WILL DO WHATEVER THE HELL I PLEASE,” Kakuzu yelled as Kisame began throwing insults.
“YOU ARE A PATHETIC OLD MAN WITH NO DECORUM,” Kisame yelled at the top of his lungs, voice booming into your ears and causing a rumble. Deidara began wheezing, cards spilling onto the floor and causing even more chaos.
“YOU LIED!” Hidan accused, finger pointing to a card that was laying face-up on the floor - it was a card that Deidara had just dropped in his fit of laughter. “YOU SAID YOU DIDN’T HAVE ANY GREENS AND YOU HAD TO DRAW! BUT THERE’S ONE RIGHT THERE!”
Upon being accused of cheating, Deidara quickly lunged at Hidan. “WHY THE HELL WOULD I CHEAT YOU MORON?” he screamed, hands wrapping around the mans throat, “WHY WOULD I FUCKING CHEAT TO GET MORE CARDS? ARE YOU THAT FUCKING STUPID?”
You were sitting back now, only capable of laughing at the absurdity of the situation around you. You, Tobi, Sasori, and Itachi were simply on the sidelines of what was happening, watching as the rest of the group succumbed to hatred and the inevitability of Uno. You eventually had to pry Deidara off of Hidan, who was dangerously close to leaving bloodstains on your carpet. Kakuzu had thrown a sharp object at Kisame, who easily caught it and instead decided to give the man the silent treatment rather than retaliate.
Uno ended quickly after that, as the boys had largely tired themselves out. You hoped they would leave soon, but Deidara was quick to pull out a sleeping back from god-knows-where and start setting up for bed. You groaned internally at the mess you would have to pick up tomorrow.
As you got ready for bed, you heard more arguing. When you went to the kitchen, Itachi was there brewing some tea. “I hope you don’t mind,” he said as you walked in, “but I wanted some tea. I would have asked but you appear to be tired and I didn’t want to bother you.”
You smiled gently and opened the fridge for a snack before bed. “It’s okay, Itachi, thank you. You don’t bother me, though, there’s just a lot of noise happening tonight.”
“I apologize for the intrusion from my comrades. They… did not experience much of their childhoods.”
You giggled at his statement. “Girls nights aren’t just for the kids with daddy issues, you know,” you watched him pour the tea into one of your favorite mugs - it was giant, black, and had a little kitty cat on the front of it. “Girls night is for anyone who just wants to indulge in harmless fun for a bit.”
Itachi sipped his tea, eyes glancing over to his nails as he set the mug down. “Thank you for doing my nails, I am not used to this kind of hospitality. It is nice.”
“No problem! Girls night is always my favorite time of the month, it’s so relaxing. Every time Deidara gets back from a mission, he texts me to schedule a girls night and it’s the best thing ever.” You took out your own mug, which was white and had a black kitty cat on the front of it, and poured the remainder of the tea from the kettle into it. “Though the mess from me and Deidara is usually unbearably giant, I can’t imagine how much this will suck to clean tomorrow.”
You glanced out of the doorway to see a bundle of sleeping bags all over your living room floor, with Hidan fast asleep snoring way louder than you wished he would. Deidara, Kakuzu, and Kisame were all arguing over whether or not Hidan’s snoring was worth beheading him. You sighed and sipped your tea. “But at least they’re having fun.”
-
The next morning, you woke up in your bed to an unusually quiet house. When you stepped into the living room, you found absolutely nothing - the living room was cleaned perfectly, no mess to be found, and there was a complete lack of rambunctious boys snoozing on the floor. You checked everywhere - the bathroom, the kitchen, even the closets, and nobody was in your home anymore. When you checked your phone, all you found was a text from Deidara at 6:33 A.M.
Deidara
: lame ass itachi is making us clean n leave early. said not to wake u or wtvr. cya next week >:)