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Nie Mingjue is angry, like he so often is these days. A distant part of him is aware that it’s not right, that he’s overreacting to everything at the moment but Jin Guangyao’s voice grates against him and even Lan Xichen’s placating smiles do nothing but aggravate him further.
“A sworn brotherhood,” he repeats, working his jaw. “Between us.”
“Yes, da-ge,” Lan Xichen says with his ever present smile. “I think that’s a wonderful idea, don’t you think?”
Nie Mingjue has a whole lot of thoughts about that and none come even close to being ‘wonderful’.
Jin Guangyao must be able to read the thoughts right off his face, because he lowers his eyes in a move Nie Mingjue hates and when he speaks his voice is soft and regretful.
It only makes Nie Mingjue’s blood boil even more.
“I know you don’t trust me, so it’s okay if you don’t want to,” Jin Guangyao says and before Nie Mingjue can even agree Lan Xichen chimes in.
“But that’s not true. It just came as a surprise to him that you were our informant all along. Right, da-ge?”
That is not it at all, and Nie Mingjue would like to tell Lan Xichen exactly what Jin Guangyao did to lose his trust, but then Lan Xichen turns pleading eyes to Nie Mingjue and he has always been weak to Lan Xichen. It’s just very hard to say no to him.
“Then what about Wanyin?” he tries instead, and mentally curses himself when Jin Guangyao’s gaze goes sharp at the use of the familiar name.
“What about him?” Lan Xichen asks and Nie Mingjue doesn’t refrain from rolling his eyes.
“He’d be alone, Xichen. Isolated. A brotherhood between us leaves him out.”
“That’s right,” Jin Guangyao says and something in his voice makes Nie Mingjue wonder if that isn’t the goal after all.
“It’s unfair. I think someone should court him,” Nie Mingjue says before he can think too much about it. “I think I should court him.”
He hasn’t allowed himself to think about this before, during the war, because the danger of dying was always so damn high, but now it’s over, now they are at peace and Nie Mingjue would very much like to court Jiang Cheng.
He has spent countless evenings strategizing with him, has shared food and drink and laughter–however scarce they were–with him and in dire situations even a tent.
And through all of that he not only learned to greatly admire and respect Jiang Cheng but also to love him.
“You want to court him,” Lan Xichen repeats, the surprise clear on his face.
Nie Mingjue bristles at that, because Jiang Cheng is very loveable and Nie Mingjue perfectly able of the feeling, even if his go to one is always anger these days.
“I don’t think—” Jin Guangyao starts but before he can say something to really make Nie Mingjue angry, Lan Xichen interrupts him.
“Da-ge, you’re not—I don’t think that is a good idea.”
“And why not?” Nie Mingjue challenges him, clenching his fists at his side.
“You’re not doing well these days and Jiang Wanyin, he’s—”
“Angry. Very angry,” Jin Guangyao finishes for him and Nie Mingjue can practically see the gears turning in his head.
He hates every second of this conversation.
“So?”
“So the combination of you two would probably not be good,” Lan Xichen says. “His temper is matching yours and he doesn’t have the same excuse as you do. What if he aggravates you further? He could enhance your problem simply by being himself. We can’t take that risk.”
Nie Mingjue works his jaw, because while he can see Lan Xichen’s point he hasn’t found that to be true at all. He has spent so much time with Jiang Cheng during the war and never has Jiang Cheng’s temper made him feel worse or even triggered a qi deviation.
Quite the opposite really, because Nie Mingjue greatly enjoys being in his presence.
“But that’s not—”
“I can court him if you are so worried about him,” Jin Guangyao says though it’s perfectly clear that he is unwilling.
Nie Mingjue wonders why he even said it if he’s so against the idea but then Lan Xichen whips his head around, his eyes huge with feeling.
“But you already sacrificed so much as a spy for us,” he says and Nie Mingjue’s temper flares at the thought that courting Jiang Cheng would mean a sacrifice from anyone. “I will do it. I see your point, da-ge, but A-Yao has already done enough for us. I will court him.”
“You don’t even like him,” Nie Mingjue says and that, too, is something that is unfathomable to him.
Jiang Cheng is very likeable and he at least deserves respect for everything he accomplished during the war, for them and his Sect and it grates on Nie Mingjue that no one seems to see it that way.
“Er-ge, you shouldn’t force yourself either,” Jin Guangyao says and Nie Mingjue can’t hold his words in any longer.
“We are not yet sworn brothers, do not address him like that,” he snaps and his temper doesn’t go down when Lan Xichen puts a hand to his arm.
“Ah, but da-ge, we will be, right? It’s fine for him to call me that. I encourage it even, just like you should encourage him to call you da-ge.”
Everything in Nie Mingjue revolts against being called like that by Jin Guangyao but he bites his tongue.
“So it’s decided then?” Jin Guangyao asks and Nie Mingjue wonders what he gets out of this, especially the courtship between Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng. “We’ll swear brotherhood and er-ge will court Jiang Cheng, so that no one is left out.”
“It’s decided,” Lan Xichen says and when they both turn their gazes towards Nie Mingjue he can’t deny them.
He really needs to learn how to say no more often.
~*~*~
Nie Mingjue might have let himself be talked into not courting Jiang Cheng but that doesn’t mean he has to stop spending time with him. The courtship between Lan Xichen and Jiang Cheng is actually a good excuse for that because Nie Mingjue can always cite to wanting to get to know his sworn brother’s betrothed better but he does his best to not think about the tentatively hopeful look on Jiang Cheng’s face as Lan Xichen had asked him about a courtship.
It still hurts that it’s not Nie Mingjue himself who asked that question.
Nie Mingjue pushes that thought away as he walks into Lotus Pier, because he wants to spend time with Jiang Cheng and not think about all the what-if’s and could-have-been’s.
It should probably worry him that even after two years he’s still as much in love with Jiang Cheng as he was before—maybe even more so—because at one point Jiang Cheng and Lan Xichen will marry and it will most likely send him into a qi deviation.
But that can’t be changed now, Nie Mingjue thinks as he smiles at Jiang Cheng, who is waiting for him at the gate.
“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng greets him with a smile of his own. “It’s good to see you.” He pauses for a moment before he goes on, brutally honest with Nie Mingjue as always. “Though you do look like shit. Is something the matter?”
The matter is that Nie Mingjue’s qi deviations are getting worse and worse as well as more frequent recently and honestly, he just wanted to escape everything for a short while, hence his visit to Jiang Cheng.
He always feels better after seeing him.
“It’s nothing,” Nie Mingjue waves off much to Jiang Cheng’s apparent dislike. “It’s nothing you can help with,” he amends then, but that doesn’t seem to reassure Jiang Cheng any more either.
“Are you sure? Maybe we can figure something out, whatever it is. Maybe just talking about it will help,” Jiang Cheng says, his voice full of worry as he grabs Nie Mingjue’s arm. “Just let me help if there is something I can do.”
You can break your courtship with Xichen and let me court you instead, Nie Mingjue thinks but doesn’t say.
He knows his days are numbered and he doesn’t actually want to make Jiang Cheng a widower right off the bat.
“It’s fine,” he tries but even that lie tastes like ash on his tongue.
And Jiang Cheng doesn’t seem to believe him, either, if his frown is anything to go by.
“Just let me know if there is something I can do. Anything,” he reiterates and the knowledge that Jiang Cheng cares for him like that warms Nie Mingjue through and through.
Even if it will never be enough.
“I will,” he still promises, just to wipe that worried look off Jiang Cheng’s face. “How is Jin Ling?” he then asks, mostly to change the topic and like always when the topic comes to his nephew, Jiang Cheng positively lights up.
Nie Mingjue tries to ignore the way his heart stumbles at Jiang Cheng’s happy expression.
~*~*~
It’s his third day at Lotus Pier and Nie Mingjue feels better than he has in a long time. He’s not sure how that comes, if it’s the constant soft chimes of the bells he hears all day or if it’s simply the vacation that’s doing him some good, but he’s not questioning it.
He’s also not looking forward to going back to Qinghe and Nie Mingjue wonders when he came to resent his own home so much.
Maybe it has something to do with how frequently Jin Guangyao barges in as if he has any right to or maybe it’s something entirely different.
“You’re thinking way too hard,” Jiang Cheng suddenly says and Nie Mingjue shakes his head to clear his thoughts.
“Sorry. Did you say something?” he wants to know, and his stomach sweeps when Jiang Cheng laughs slightly at him.
“I was just remarking that you do look better than three days before,” he repeats and Nie Mingjue shrugs.
“Might be the water and fresh breeze. Might be your company or even the bells,” Nie Mingjue mutters and looks out over the water. “I always feel better when I’m here,” he then admits and looks at Jiang Cheng from the corner of his eyes.
Jiang Cheng has gone still next to him, his eyes huge but before Nie Mingjue can wonder if he said something wrong, a disciple steps up to them.
“Zongzhu, the correspondence from today,” he lowly says and offers Jiang Cheng a stack of letters.
Jiang Cheng swiftly sorts through them, his face falling with every letter he sees and once he’s done, he dismisses his disciple with all of the letters.
“Is something wrong?” Nie Mingjue wants to know and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“Can I be—honest?” he asks and Nie Mingjue is quick to nod.
“Of course. Always.” He thought they had more trust between them than that, but he refuses to let that sting.
“Even if it’s about your sworn brother?” Jiang Cheng asks with a wry smile and Nie Mingjue almost immediately sees red.
“What did Xichen do?” he demands to know and Jiang Cheng sighs.
“It’s more what he’s not doing,” he mutters.
“Wanyin, tell me what is going on,” Nie Mingjue demands, his temper already rising and Jiang Cheng eyes him almost warily.
“It’s just—I’ve sent two courtship gifts to him,” Jiang Cheng tells him and while just the thought that Lan Xichen is getting courtship gifts from Jiang Cheng makes Nie Mingjue’s blood boil he can’t help but to be confused.
“It’s been two years,” he says because two courtship gifts in two years is surprisingly little.
He knows that Lan Xichen wanted to take is slow to get to know Jiang Cheng better but that seems to be a glacial pace.
“Don’t I know it,” Jiang Cheng sighs out. “I am still waiting for a response to the first one,” he then admits and instead of driving his fist through the pier he’s sitting on, Nie Mingjue gets up and starts to pace.
“He hasn’t sent any back?” he hisses because how dare Lan Xichen throw away the amazing honour of being allowed to court Jiang Cheng.
“He hasn’t,” Jiang Cheng confirms. “At this point I’m convinced the whole courtship is just an elaborate prank,” he whispers, mostly to himself. “I haven’t spend any time alone with Lan Xichen since the courtship started. Jin Guangyao is always there and honestly, they should just court with how much they seem to be into each other. I don’t understand why they had to drag me into this as well.”
“How fucking dare he,” Nie Mingjue hisses and has half a mind flying to the Cloud Recesses immediately, though he’s not even sure if he would see Lan Xichen there.
Jiang Cheng is right. With how much time Lan Xichen and Jin Guangyao are spending together, his best bet would be Jinlingtai, anyway.
“Mingjue,” Jiang Cheng warily starts as he’s getting up. “No need to get so angry. Calm down.”
“Like hell I will,” Nie Mingjue snaps out and fights the urge to drive his fist into something despite pacing. “I know I shouldn’t have let him court you!”
“It’s not my fault,” Jiang Cheng defensively says. “I didn’t do anything wrong!”
“Of course you didn’t! Fuck, he’s so goddamn stupid, blinded by that stupid snake,” Nie Mingjue vehemently mutters. “I should have been the one to court you.”
“Then why didn’t you,” Jiang Cheng challenges him and Nie Mingjue’s heart thumbs dangerously in his chest.
It almost sounds like Jiang Cheng would have welcomed his courtship.
“Because they told me not to,” he presses out with clenched teeth.
“And you always let them tell you what to do?”
“Apparently I do,” Nie Mingjue bitterly says. “I let them talk me into this brotherhood as well, didn’t I? And I let them talk me into listening to Xichen’s song all day long, even though I hate that song.”
“What would you—” Jiang Cheng swallows hard as he avoids Nie Mingjue’s gaze. “If you were the one to court me, what would you do differently?” he then dares to ask and Nie Mingjue freezes at his question.
He’s frozen for long enough for Jiang Cheng to turn towards him and meet his gaze again and that’s all the encouragement Nie Mingjue meets. He strides forward, taking Jiang Cheng’s face into his hands before he leans in to kiss Jiang Cheng breathless.
“That, for starters,” he then says right before the implication of what he just did hits him. “Fuck. I’m sorry,” he rushes out as he tries to step back but Jiang Cheng’s hands shoot out to clasp around his wrists, keeping his hands in place.
“Don’t be,” Jiang Cheng urges him. “I told myself that if I don’t get an answer until today I would call the courtship off. No one even remembers it anyway, because Lan Xichen doesn’t spend any time with me and there are already rumours of him and Jin Guangyao going around. So don’t be sorry.”
Jiang Cheng takes a deep breath and then meets Nie Mingjue’s gaze straight on.
“I would have preferred it to be you, anyway.”
Nie Mingjue can practically feel how the anger rushes out of him, Jiang Cheng’s bell chiming so softly and soothing in his ear and Nie Mingjue leans in to rest their foreheads together.
“It should have been me,” he whispers between them. “It was my idea, I wanted to court you, but they told me it wouldn’t be a good idea,” he admits and he hates the fact that he let them. “For me, it’s always been you, ever since the Sunshot Campaign.”
“Then let it be you,” Jiang Cheng says, his hands flexing around Nie Mingjue’s wrists. “Let it be you,” he repeats and Nie Mingjue nods.
“I’ll talk to my elders. I’ll do it properly. Not like Xichen.”
Nie Mingjue sees red just thinking about how stupid Lan Xichen has been in disregarding someone as wonderful as Jiang Cheng and only the soft chime of the bell brings him back.
“I love your bell,” Nie Mingjue says without thinking and Jiang Cheng stiffens, making Nie Mingjue frown. “Is that—bad?” he cautiously asks because he doesn’t want to fuck this up immediately.
“It’s—you shouldn’t be able to hear it. I mean—” Jiang Cheng cuts himself off with a frustrated noise. “It has to be mutual. You can only hear it because our feelings are the same,” he then admits and Nie Mingjue goes warm all over.
“Our feelings have been the same since the war then,” Nie Mingjue says with a small smile. “Because it has always been you. And I’ve always heard your bell. Sometimes it was the only thing on the battlefield that made me focus.”
Jiang Cheng goes red in the face at that and Nie Mingjue absolutely adores the sight.
“Never let your sworn brothers talk you into anything again,” Jiang Cheng hisses, clearly embarrassed but Nie Mingjue only laughs.
“Never again,” he promises. “You’re the only one I’ll listen to from now on.”
“Good,” Jiang Cheng says and quickly leans in to steal a kiss. “Now let me break up a courtship.”
“Gladly,” Nie Mingjue says with a smile and finally moves away from Jiang Cheng. “But only if you enter a new one after.”
“I think that should be a given,” Jiang Cheng snaps and despite his harsh tone, his touch when he tangles their fingers together is gentle.
Nie Mingjue cannot wait to experience all of Jiang Cheng’s contrarieties and he will cherish every single one of them, unlike some other people.
“Just making sure,” Nie Mingjue says with an unapologetic shrug, which brings a small smile to Jiang Cheng’s face.
Nie Mingjue is already looking forward to teasing that particular look out more often over the course of their courtship.
And with the way Jiang Cheng’s cheeks are still flushed red, he’s not the only one.