Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

Freshman year of college. An exciting time for everyone involved, giant gatherings for orientations, pushing to get students involved, move-in days, and loud late nights with 18 year old's running around campus. It was overwhelming to say the least, and nothing had prepared Amity for these moments. However, it was also a fresh new start, which meant getting away from her mother and the restraints she had trapped her in all her life. 

She’d already been on campus for a couple weeks, starting her new classes, living in a dorm with someone she sort of knows, and she still felt as if something was missing. She had decided to be a business major, or more like her mother had decided it for her. She was a Blight, and when her older siblings had deferred to other majors, that meant it was up to Amity to take over Blight Industries. Whatever that meant because if she was being honest she had no idea what it even was. All she knew is her Dad had stopped being around her and the twins at a certain point in her childhood, and she knew it was because of the business. So she had resented it her whole life. However, her mother terrifies her and if the burden is on Amity to take over, she doesn’t know how to say no, and accepted to just find some way to be happy in the silver linings of life. 

So she dragged herself to and through every class. She did her homework, she participated in class, and the cycle continued. However after a few weeks, she has started to notice just how empty she felt doing it. She wanted more, she craved it. She wanted to do more, be more. Actually make an impact on people, or at least children. But there was no way she would be able to tell Odalia Blight she wanted to be a teacher. 

After the weeks she had spent isolating herself in her dorm, her only friend was the daughter of one of her parent’s business partners who was also her roommate, and she was barely someone she could actually talk to. She felt so alone, so she decided to take matters in her own hands on a Friday night and walk around campus. Maybe she would finally come out of her shell and talk to people, because it was a weekend and there were bound to be students all around campus doing something. 

After sharing an awkward goodbye and ‘I’ll be home later’ with her roommate, she headed out of the dorm. She felt like she had walked for ages before she came across groups of people heading somewhere, so she decided to follow the crowd. 

They led her to the theatre in the arts building, she had no idea what was showing but whatever it was she was already in too deep. She couldn’t turn back now because it would be too embarrassing so she paid for a ticket and sat in the middle seat of the back row alone deciding that whatever it was, she was going to enjoy it because it was something to do. 

Right as the lights started to go down, a girl came in and sat a few seats down from her. She seemed to be around her age and somewhat approachable. Just talk to her Amity, this may be the only chance you get to make a friend tonight. 

She looked over at the girl who was already looking at her, she smiled and gave an awkward wave. The girl waved back and chuckled a little bit, and Amity crumpled in her seat out of embarrassment just as the curtain rose. 

After about 15 minutes in the show, Amity realized she was in over her head. It seemed to be a Shakespeare show that she didn’t understand at all. The first time she pushed herself out of her comfort zone to ‘try new things!’ she was stuck in a dark theatre with no escape route because of the girl blocking her way out of the row. She started to look around at the room to keep herself occupied hoping that it would be over soon enough, and maybe she could just daydream her way through it. However, she had nothing on her mind except the homework she had due on Monday, and the last thing she would want to think about now is ‘Intro To Finance’ right now. So she just sighed and leaned on her hand, bored out of her mind. 

After a few moments of attempting to understand anything that was happening on the stage, she noticed the girl beside her get up and sneak up to the seat beside her. Maybe she had made an impression after all, or maybe she’s gonna tell you that you are being disrespectful to the art of theatre by not really paying attention or some shit. 

“Hey, do you understand anything that is happening right now?” the girl whispered, keeping her eyes on the stage and leaning on the arm rest between them.

“Oh thank god I thought I was the only one,” Amity sighed with a slight chuckle(quietly of course).

The girl laughed a little with her, “I have to be here for ‘extra credit’ but honestly I might just get a playbill and look up the summary later or ask my friends about it. They’re in it, probably suffering just as much.”

“Oh my god I can’t even imagine having to learn these lines because it sounds like gibberish to me,” Amity said, still trying her best to make an impression with her.

“Yeah, Shakespeare has some great shows, however putting a bunch of freshman on a stage and giving them three weeks to prepare definitely ruins it,” she muttered, earning another giggle from Amity. A few moments go by before the girl speaks again, “hear me out, intermission can’t be too far away, so let’s get up, I grab a playbill, and we get the hell out of here.”

“But won’t people see us leaving at intermission? Isn’t that disrespectful or something?” Amity asked, always concerned about what people will think. 

“It’s fine, I’m a theatre major, I know a back way out,” the girl answered. 

So they waited what seemed like forever, and finally the actors left the stage and the lights came back up. The girl grabbed Amity’s hand and pulled her out of the theatre, grabbed a playbill, and whipped them around the corner and down a hall. 

“Sorry, I just wanted to leave as quickly and swiftly as possible,” she sighed, looking obviously relieved and finally looking down at the playbill as they walked to whatever back way she was leading them too. 

“Macbeth? Isn’t that like one of his best works?” Amity asked.

“Yeah.. I’ll be honest I don’t know anything about it if you couldn't tell by my daydreaming during the show,” she laughed.

“I thought you said you were a theatre major.. Shouldn’t you know one of his most popular works?” Amity laughed back.

“I never said I was a good theatre kid, just that I am one.”

“Oh, well in that case I’ll make sure to sit far away from you in any shows to come,” Amity said, smirking at her. 

“Well, if your going to avoid me, at least let me tell you my name first,” she defended herself with a dramatic flare, “I’m Boscha.”

“Amity Blight.”

“You wouldn’t happen to know Ed Blight?” Boscha curiously asked.

“Actually, yeah. He’s my brother.. I sort of forgot he was a theatre major too. But I’m sure you don’t really see him in classes since he’s a Junior.”

“Yeah but he’s a legend here in Hexside Theatre, he gets like every lead! You should have led with that!”

“I said I didn’t think about it okay!!!” She laughed, nudging Boscha’s shoulder to tease her a bit. She had barely noticed that they were already outside.

“Well Amity Blight, where would you like to go? The night awaits,” She said as she waved her hands up to create a rainbow sarcastically.

“I’m not really sure, I’ve kind of been a recluse in my dorm since I got here.. There’s not a lot of socializing with business majors.. Because they’re all business,” Amity prodded, hoping the pun would read. She was desperately trying to seem any kind of sociable to Boscha, after all this was the first person to be a potential friend here. 

“Low hanging fruit, but I’ll still give you credit, you are a business major after all,” she replied, “My car is just around the corner here, how about we go get a slurpee at the gas station up the street, and we can go hang out with some friends of mine. I think you’d like them!”

Amity nodded, “Sounds good to me, I could use some actual human interaction without talking about marketing for once.”

So they headed off into Boscha’s black Honda Civic, getting to the gas station. Amity took note of the route because she knew she was probably in desperate need of some gas later, and now she at least knew the closest convenience store. 

“You grab some chips, surprise me with the flavors, and I’ll grab the slurpees,” Boscha pointed her off, “You seem like a blue raspberry girl?”

“You already know me so well.” 

Earning a chuckle from Boscha, she headed off into the isle, feeling a little proud that she had actually managed to make a friend and also get them to like her. She picked out some broad flavored chips, figuring you can’t go wrong with the classics. They paid, and headed out to the car. Boscha took her back to another set of dorms that Amity doesn’t live in, and they headed inside after making some more small talk to get to know each other. 

She swiped her card a few times to get into the hall that Amity assumed she lived in. The dorm seemed to be pretty old compared to her newer one, but it had a sense of home to it anyway. The hall was lined with cinder blocks, each section separated by doors with murals between. She looked at them as they continued to walk down the hall, noticing that each block seemed to be painted by a resident in the hall and dated so it had to of been past ones. Maybe it was some right of passage at the end of the school year, like a ‘congrats on making it through your first year and here’s some paint to prove you did!’

They arrived at the end of the hall that opened up to a bigger common room, and there were quite a few sets of couches and cushioned leg rests to compliment them. There was some new people that Amity assumed were Boscha’s friends by the way she greeted them with open arms.

“No need to worry all! Boscha is back!”

“The play doesn’t end for at least another hour, there’s no way you saw it and also had time for snacks,” a girl with a half split dye job of grey and black said, challenging Boscha.

“Skara it was SHAKESPEARE, did you really think I’d stay the whole time?”

Skara shrugged it off with a chuckle, and looked over at Amity curiously. She had no idea how to introduce herself in this situation, and she was still standing in the doorway awkwardly holding a large cup of blue ice and a bag of cool ranch Doritos.. Not the most memorable impression. 

“I see you made a friend though, be careful, she bites,” a girl with green hair similar to Amity’s smiled at her.

“I DO NOT!” Boscha laughed, throwing a chip at her, “Don’t listen to them. Anyways, this is Amity BLIGHT, as in Ed BLIGHT’S younger sister!”

“No way! He’s such a good actor, and a beautiful singer, not to mention hot,” the same girl responded. Amity didn’t have the heart to tell them that he was gay, and besides she didn’t want to ruin whatever hope she had. Ed could do that for her whenever he made out with some guy at one of those cast parties he’s always talking about. 

“Yeah… he’s one of a kind for sure,” Amity chuckled.

“I’m Amelia, and that’s Skara, Bo, and Cat!” Amelia said, seemingly excited to add another friend to the group.

She had finally found her first friend group, and she actually felt welcome to be there. Just as she started to walk over from the doorway, someone bumped into her, causing her to drop her slurpee all over the ground. 

“Oh my god, I am so SORRY!” the girl behind her gasped, “That’s such a waste, blue is the best one.. I’ll go get some paper towels in my room, one sec!”

Before she could even get a good look at the girl that had just embarrassed her in front of her potential new start, she vanished into the hall. 

“Of course she, of all people, wouldn’t watch where she was going and ruin a perfectly good slurpee,” Boscha groaned, “I’m sorry Amity, she normally doesn’t even leave her room.”

Just as Amity was about to respond, the girl whipped back around the corner a little to quickly nearly slipping on the ice below them, but Amity instinctively reached out to catch her before she face planted into it, staining her face blue too. 

“Woah! Thank you, quite the introduction to a girl I don’t even know! Seriously Luz, pull it together,” she said, still only inches away from Amity’s face as she held her up. She couldn’t seem to let go either. The girl had fluffy and wavy brown hair, beautiful brown eyes, and a smile that nearly left Amity to crumble. 

She quickly jumped out of her trance and let go of Luz as she blushed a little. She tried her best to hide it, although her face was still a little stunned. 

“I have a whole roll, so I can clean it up. It’s my fault anyway for being so careless,” Luz said as she got down to the floor to start cleaning it.

Amity joined her, “It’s fine, shit happens. I can help,” she said as she reached out for Luz to hand her more paper towels.

“I was just looking for my paint brushes, I thought I left them in here.. Have you guys seen them?” She asked the group still sitting on the couch.

“No Luz, we haven’t seen them,” Boscha answered, not even looking in her direction as the other girls giggled under their breath. Luz didn’t seem to notice. 

“Well, they must be back in the arts building somewhere. Sorry again, hope whenever I meet you again it won’t be so messy,” she chuckled, making Amity smile again. 

“I’ll make sure to hold my freeze a little tighter whenever we do,” she replied, trying to make light of the sticky situation.

Luz laughed a little, and took the dirty paper towels from her and threw them away in the bin beside the door. She looked back at Amity, as if she was about to say something more. She finally had a good look at her, and seemed to be taking it all in the same way Amity had done earlier with her. 

“Well, uh.. I’ll see you around,” she said as she quickly left the room again.

Amity stood there for a moment, trying not to blush even more. It was such a harmless interaction, and although she should have been angry at Luz for embarrassing her in front of her new friends, she just seemed to feel content. 

“Come on Amity,” Boscha said, taking Amity out of her moment, “You can have some of mine. I don’t mind sharing my straw,” She winked. 

Amity joined her on the couch, and Boscha had forced the drink into her hand as she did. She took a sip, but she never really liked cherry. 

Chapter Text

The late nights came in full swing, regardless of Amity’s 9 AM classes. She spent all her nights doing absolutely nothing and everything in the common room at the end of wing C, which they have now deemed ‘the den’. They’d make up random games, random scenarios in would you rather games, made fun of professors that were terrible to them, and help each other study as well. She had laughed more than she can remember doing in the past. 

At midnight they’d go out between the trees and look at whatever stars they could find, talk about random existential things, or even just push each other off the hammocks that were set up between the trees. It was all friendly and fun, and she had never felt more warm and happy like this in her life. She in fact WAS making a new life for herself and it was beautiful in her eyes. Her and Boscha seemed to get closer than anyone else in the group, and eventually they thought of each other as best friends. However, she had yet to see the same girl that literally crashed into her life like a hit and run. 

One night they started poking and prodding each other about their crushes or hot people in their classes that they had ‘flings’ with, and Amity wouldn’t dare mention the slight interest she had in Luz. The girls seemed to be neutral about her, but also didn’t seem to really care about talking about her at all, so Amity didn’t bring her up at all. And although the other girls were neutral, Boscha seemed to specifically not like her. Rolling her eyes whenever something was left in the den that seemed to be Luz’s, scoffing whenever she was rarely mentioned, and just overall carrying some disdain towards her. Amity had just assumed that either they had some kind of past, or maybe Boscha just needed someone to pick on. Either way, Amity didn’t push it even if she didn’t understand it. However once they got to asking about Boscha’s crush, she pushed it off and told them to leave her alone, but the girls seemed as if they knew something that Amity didn’t. 

“Oh come on, Boscha. We can obviously tell and it’s been three weeks, just come out and say it, coward!” Cat accused her. 

“Stop you guys, it’s not that deep! She already lives rent free in my mind, I don’t need everyone to know my business too,” she snapped back, making the girls silent. Amity was sitting next to her, and felt like the air in the room got heavier. She was entirely oblivious to what any of them were talking about and honestly felt left out, but obviously this was not time to ask her about it. “Besides, when the time is right, and it will be eventually, I will tell her,” she noted, avoiding any eye contact with anyone, “Until then, let it GO.”

After that, the group never got around to Amity, and she was grateful for that because she was a terrible liar. The night went on, and the girls slowly went back to their room, and only Bo, Boscha, and Amity were left in the room. They still kept talking and as expected it hit 2 AM, and they started getting randomly deep. Talking about the things they love dearly, their unrealistic fears, and things they always contemplated about the world and life. Eventually Bo and Amity started getting into the books they love, and started to share a lot of similar ones. Up until this point, she hadn’t personally connected to anyone in the group other than Boscha. 

“Alright, well I am going to go to sleep,” Bo said as she started to get up and leave, but keeping her head around the corner, “Let me know when you wanna borrow that book Am.”

Now it was just her and Boscha. She laid down on the couch, head in Amity’s lap uninvited, but she didn’t mind. They had been slightly touchy with each other, and Amity had just chopped it up to thinking that Boscha was just a touchy person with her close friends. 

“It’s so late, Amity, but I don’t really feel tired,” she sighed. 

“I won’t lie, I am exhausted and I have an early class,” Amity expressed, hoping she’d get the message. It wasn’t necessarily that she didn’t wanna be alone with Boscha because half the time they’d hung out, she was.  

“Ugh fine, I guess you can leave me alone to wallow,” she dramatically responded, hand to forehead like she was faint. 

“Ohhhh stop it Bosh, you know it’s not personal,” she chuckled back, kind of leaning into her. 

“Just spend the night! You do it all the time on the weekends anyway, and so what if you have to leave early to go to class,” Boscha whined. 

“Yeah but I need to go back, my roommate is probably starting to get concerned, and I think I wake her up whenever I come home this late and the last thing I need is her telling my parents about my excursions.”

“She’s just jealous you actually have friends... and me,” Boscha said as she started to get up and sit closer to Amity, “You’ll always have me.”

“I know, I can’t get rid of you,” she nudged. 

“Never, I will annoy you and cling to you forever, Blight.”

“And I will endure the pain forever,” Amity joked. 

“You know you love me, don’t act like I am not your favorite person. Yeah you have your siblings and now Bo to nerd out with, but I am your best friend,” Boscha answered. 

“You’re right, I do love you, even if you are an asshole most of the time,” she said as she started to get up to make her way back to her dorm building across campus. And for a moment, she could have sworn to see Boscha blush a little. But she shrugged it off to just being happy that her best friend is so close to her. “Goodnight you weirdo,” she yawned as she started to head out of the room and towards her car, which is exactly when she realized that Boscha had picked her up earlier, so she stuck her head back in. “I am so sorry you are going to have to drive me back,” she said as she made an apologetic look.

“You are so high maintenance!” Boscha claimed, but she still got up and grabbed her keys off the side table, “What you can’t walk alone across campus at 3 AM? Wow, what a coward.”

“Oh whatever you can’t do laundry alone because the basement creeps you out,” she laughed as they started walking out of the building. 

“Yeah! Because this used to be a HOSPITAL, Amity. It’s creepy!!!”

“I still can’t believe the school just bought an abandoned hospital and thought ‘hey this would make a great dorm building!’ They have millions of dollars and they can’t just build a new one?” Amity replied.

“That would be way to much to ask of them, don’t you know half that money is the board’s paycheck?” Boscha gasped. They finally made it to her car and started to make the short trip back. Boscha turned on the radio, and they sat and listened to the music, too tired to continue the bit. They pulled up to the building, they sat in the circle by the front doors in the car like they had multiple times before. 

“Ya know, we could spend so much more time together if you just lived in the hallway with us,” Boscha pointed out. 

“Yeah, but the rooms are all booked up, I can’t just live on your floor like I do every weekend, Bosh.”

“Actually, that’s not true. Someone just moved out! I have no idea who it was but I saw the carts taking stuff out of the hall like a week ago, so there’s an opening. Sadly it’s not with me, which I know would be your dream, but I mean it’s just a few doors down!”

“Oh shit, really?” Amity contemplated the situation, “But how the hell would I just move out with my current roommate? That’s so rude without an actual reason…”

“I mean it’s not like you really know her, and she doesn’t seem to be making an effort with you either. I mean hell, we’ve been inseparable for weeks and I don’t even know her name.”

“It’s Lauren, but I guess you’re right… I mean I could just put in a room change request and make up some bullshit reason, like there was drama in between our parents and now we can’t live together or something,” Amity thought out loud.

“EXACTLY!!! Come on A, this is literally a golden opportunity, just hop on it. Fill out the form tomorrow on the website and I’m sure you’d be in by fall break next week!”

“Honestly, I might… I spend all my time there anyway so I might as well have a bed to myself,” she laughed. 

“And Amity,” Boscha grabbed her hand, “We literally could spend so much more time together. Think it over, let me know. Having a princess herself living in C hall might be the best thing to happen in that dreadful wing.”

Amity blushed a little at her tone, it definitely wasn’t one she had heard much out of Boscha. But she smiled back, thinking this may be the one thing she needs to actually feel a part of the whole group and not just a tag along. And the place already felt more like home than where she was now. 

“FINE, fine, alright!!! I’ll fill it out tomorrow!! Jeez, Bosh, I know you’re in love with me but you don’t have to be so obvious,” she laughed, finally taking off her seatbelt to head inside. Boscha chuckled a bit too, taking her hand away and scratching the back of her neck.

“Whatever Blight, get out of my car you weirdo,” she laughed, “And if you don’t fill out that form I will be doing it for you. Forgery and everything.”

Amity rolled her eyes and closed the car door and made her way in the building as Boscha drove away. She started to obsess over what the future might hold in her move, and was excited to find out. She surely was not gonna tell her mother about it, she’d probably say it was bad for business or something. Amity was an adult now, and her mother was 2 hours away, she didn’t need to know every detail of her life. She swiped into her room with her student ID, and quietly snuck into the room and laid down.

She couldn’t stop thinking about the idea though. Her being near all her friends, a door away even. There weren’t really any faults in the plan, and it’s not like whoever the new roommate would be could be any worse than the awkward one she has now. She couldn’t sleep at all, so she decided to get out her laptop and fill out the form now. If she wanted to be able to have fall break to fully move in and set up her new room, then it had to be submitted sooner than later.

She fabricated some lie to get out of living with Lauren, and once she rechecked all the information on it, she stared anxiously at the ‘SUBMIT’ button. She knew that she wanted this, but she still couldn’t get out of the guilt she felt from leaving Lauren alone. However, she felt alone in this dorm, so she thought that maybe she’d put herself first finally. So she hit the button, and could feel the relief and excitement rush over he as the page read ‘REQUEST SUBMITTED’. She immediately laid back down, and texted Boscha about it. 

A: no need to forge my info like a criminal, just submitted it all.. 

bosh: OH MY GOD AMITY I AM SO EXCITED!!!! also kind of embarrassing that you did it so quickly, you really can’t wait to live so close to me, huh?

A: yep, gonna watch you sleep and everything

bosh: ehhh having a pretty girl like you next to me while I sleep is a dream of mine. can’t believe it may all work out, i guess time and space is really in our favor 

A: that or whatever event that happened for that girl to move out, one womans regret is anothers perfect coincidence or whatever

A: im finally gonna sleep, ill text you tomorrow if i get an email about it!! night! 

She didn’t even wait for a response and put her phone under her pillow and dozed off thinking of the way she’d lay out all her decorations on her new-old wall. 

Sure enough, the next day as she struggled to not fall asleep in her marketing class, she got an email with the request being approved by the housing office, and had gotten all the information she needed for her move-in next Friday. She immediately texted Boscha who said she wouldn’t be able to help since she was leaving Thursday to go back and visit her family, but she had siblings on this campus that would be more than happy to help their sister rebel even slightly against their mother. 

Room 107C. She couldn’t think of anything else, and decided to skip the rest of her classes and immediately start packing up her clothes in her dorm. She never really communicated anything to her roommate, but somehow she never asked any questions about it. Lauren even had her number, but nothing was said even if they barely saw each other. 

The week went on forever as she waited and spent every day packing up a little more, despite having homework due. Wednesday finally rolls around and she texts her siblings about it, both obliging to her scheme and saying they’d be there to help. Nothing else seemed to make a dent in Amity’s mind besides her excitement. 

Once the day started, she had filled Emira’s Jeep with nearly all her stuff, and kept some in her car as well. Ed rode with her over to the new building, and they started unpacking it all as Amity made her way to the desk. She introduced herself and asked for the next step to moving in.

“Hey! I am actually that hall’s RA, so I will get your key, and you can follow me! I’m assuming this is all your stuff?” she gestured to her siblings who were pushing it in on a cart.

“Yeah, and that’s my brother and sister, they’re just helping me out!”

“Yeah, I know Ed and Em, we lived in the same hall together our freshman year, glad to see their sister following suit. I saw your last name for the request and didn’t even question it and approved you living in the hall with us!” she waved at them both, “I’m Viney by the way, you can come to me for anything, and I won’t be so hard on you since I know the family so well.”

“Yeah, not much has changed besides our majors,” Emira remarked, “I haven’t seen you around in a while, we all used to be so close in C wing, we should get some coffee sometime. I’ve missed you.”

Amity could sense that there was definitely something more going on between them, but decided to annoy her sister about it later. Viney handed her the key, and led her down the hall to the place she had already known how to locate like the back of her hand. 

“Well, this is your room, like I said, reach out if you need anything, my room is the first one on the right. And Em, I will take you up on that date later,” she winked as she walked away. Amity looked at Em who was blushing a bit, and made a face at her that said ‘ alright now you have to tell me whatever that is’ . Emira rolled her eyes and pushed her to unlock her room so she get this over with and see Viney again. 

Amity took a breathe, excited to start this chapter in her life, and unlocked the door opening it wide and walked in. Whoever her roommate was had kept one of the desks and dressers empty, and the second closet was also completely barren. She realized that the room was tiny, and the beds were bunked, and internally groaned because the top one was meant for her considering it had no bedding on it. The person wasn’t there though, so she assumed she had also left for the break. 

“Alright let’s get this over with Mittens,” Ed teased as he started to unload the cart into the room, “Ya know, if I knew you were going to be hanging out with all these theatre majors I would have invited you to the parties sooner. We aren’t having another until Halloween, but you’ll be there. No objections.”

“Well I mean the freshman girls are obsessed with you, so if I don’t take them, they’ll eat me alive,” Amity replied as she folded her clothes into the dresser. 

“I don’t get why they are, I’m very obviously gay. I quite literally am the theatre man stereotype of fruity,” he laughed. 

“Don’t inflate his ego, Amity. Freshman are always obsessed with upper classmen, you’re not special,” Em clapped back, earning a laugh out of Amity. 

Ed and Em where the only people in the world that felt like she was truly safe around. They understood what it meant to live as a Blight, and they were the most reliable people on earth to her when she needed it. They teased each other, but they all knew just how much they loved each other too. She was always so thankful to have them in her life, and made sure to tell them that every chance she got. Maybe Boscha is also earning the same connection to Amity, but she was still weary of putting that kind of expectation into a friendship. 

“Hey look! Whoever this girl is loves that book you never stop talking about,” she pointed to a Good Witch Azura comic sitting on the girls desk, and then Amity actually started noticing the little graphics and knickknacks around the desk. They definitely were one in the same, which made her feel less anxious about meeting her. 

“Oh no, you two are never going to leave this room and watch that damn movie together on repeat aren’t you?” Ed groaned. 

“Oh hush, you never shut up about queer musicals and plays," Emira hushed him.

“Like you never shut up about whatever band you're obsessed with that week and how much you hate Freud-" 

“Would you two stop it, we all have our fixations, let them be,” Amity laughed. After an hour, most of what was left were things Amity had to organize herself. And her bedding, which was going to be an ordeal. 

“Alright sis, I’d love to stay and help you more, but Viney just texted me to meet her at the coffee shop we used to go to. And out of anyone, I’d hope my gay little sister would understand that I have to go,” Em stated as she grabbed her bag and phone, “Love you! Have fun with that top bunk!”

“I have to go too, my roommate is shooting a film for his class and asked me to be in it. Once again, love ya and have fun!” and they both rushed out quickly before she could protest.  

She looked down at the bedding she’d have to somehow put on the top bunk alone, and pouted, “Of course they’d leave me to put a fitted sheet on a bed thats five feet off the ground. Assholes.” So maybe they weren't always fully reliable. 

However, she managed to do it. After banging her head on the ceiling three times, she laid down in exhaustion. All her friends were gone on break, and she had no where to be and nothing to do. She sighed, checked her phone to see that Boscha had asked who her new roommate was, and she realized she still didn’t know. She had met everyone in the hall at least once whenever they would join the girls in the den every now and again, but surely she’d remember someone who liked all the same stuff she did. 

Amity was never one to snoop, but if it meant finding out who this person could be then it’s harmless. So she climbed out of her bed, hating that it was something she had to get used to doing, and started looking around for an idea. They had no pictures hanging up, or even a notebook on the desk with their name on it. She didn’t wanna cross the boundary that was going into their closet, so she felt stumped and assumed she’d just have to wait. And she was also hungry and there was a dining hall in the building, so she grabbed her phone and bag and started to head out, and that’s when she noticed it. A note taped to the back of the door, how she missed it was beyond her, but she took it down to read it:

Hey new roomie! The housing office told me that I was expecting a new one, but they never told me your name…. the last girl dropped out to do something else.. I didn’t really know her but she was kind of boring so I am happy to be getting a new one!

I hope you don’t mind my geeky stuff hanging up, and maybe it could be a conversation starter if you are interested in some of the same stuff. I know you don’t know me yet, but I am really excited to know you and hope we can be good friends!!

I am home for the long weekend to see my mom and sister and my mom that’s not actually my mom(it’s a long story, one day I’ll tell you about it), so I’m sorry I am not there to greet you, but I’ll be home on Monday night.

If you need anything, you can call me or text me, my number is at the bottom. If any of my stuff is in the way you can move it, I don’t mind. Also the overhead light tends to flicker, so there’s fairy lights that plug in by the window if that starts to get annoying. 

Welcome home <3

-Luz (: 

“Holy shit.”

Chapter Text

A: bosh

A: boscha

A: BOSCHA

bosh: WHAT BLIGHT I’M HAVING DINNER WITH MY FAMILY

A: MY ROOMMATE IS LUZ

bosh: OMFG NO WAY 

bosh: yikes i bet the room is gross and smells weird

A: no it doesn’t you asshole, its actually kinda cute 

bosh: yeah now that you live there, but whatever its fine you just sleep there its not like you have to be close to her, and now ur two doors down from me ;)

Amity put her phone down, she really didn’t know how to respond without telling Boscha that maybe she does want to be close with her new roommate. She sat down in her desk chair to look around the room again, this time with the context of Luz being the one who organized it all. She had yet to put up her own decorations, but they were pretty similar to the ones surrounding the other desk, so the room was going to look nice once she finally put it all together. 

She still had no idea how she was going to re-introduce herself to Luz, hoping that maybe she forgot about her so the first impression of Amity wasn’t a sticky mess. She looked back down at the paper and saw Luz’s number printed on it, and put it in her phone. She attempted to type out multiple messages but all of them didn’t feel right, so she just decided to continue to put it off. 

Once she finally got out of the initial shock of Luz being the person she was going to spend the better part of a year living with, she finally went to the dining hall to get food. She had brought a book with her, but she had to keep rereading the page while she wandered in her mind about her roommate. She barely knew the girl and she had already made her way into Amity’s mind day in and day out. She would come over to the hall with Boscha and the girls and secretly hope that Luz would be around the corner, she even sometimes wished that she’d run into her again. 

She wasn’t exactly sure why, I mean of course she thought Luz was attractive… and pretty and gorgeous and wonderful and– but that's beside the point. The only thing she actually knew about her was that she was clumsy, likes the same book as her, and has a queen size quilt on a twin sized mattress– and seriously what was the point of that. 

She finally decided to put her book away because she was still on the same page that she was when she sat down, and headed back to Luz’s room.. well her and Luz’s room now. Once she got back, she started to put away her makeup, her bathroom toiletries, and all her school stuff. When she was finished it was about midnight, and she decided that she’d hang up her decorations later. Moving was exhausting, and it started to catch up with her. 

She went to turn off the light in the room and turned around to realize that she couldn’t see anything at all, and her phone was already thrown up on the bed. Not to mention Boscha had said this used to be a hospital, so that made sleeping in the dark alone in a pretty empty dormitory because of the break was entirely creepy to her. So she decided to take advantage of the fairy lights that Luz had hung up. Once they were the only light in the room, she realized just how cozy and homey they made the dorm feel, and all sense of creepiness was gone. 

She climbed up the bed, only slightly hitting her head on the ceiling this time, and flopped down into her bed. She looked at her phone, and realized that she had really nothing to do this weekend since midterms just happened and there wasn’t any homework. She had her ‘geeky’ decorations to still organize, but other than that she was just awaiting Monday night. 2.5 more days. 

__________________________________________________

Amity was anxious. Excited, but anxious. It was Monday, and all her friends, Boscha, and Luz should be coming back throughout the day. She had nothing left to hang up or organize, and she had already played enough Sims on her laptop to keep her inside her dorm any longer. So she decided she’d walk over to the 7/11 to get herself a drink and just have something to do. 

It was early October, so the air wasn’t heavy anymore with heat, and the leaves were changing. Campus looked straight out of a pinterest board from a distance. The walk wasn’t more than five minutes, but it was still enough to settle her nerves a little. And snacks were never a bad thing. She was never really allowed to have ‘junk food’ as a kid, but once Ed and Em got a shared car at 16, they would take her everywhere with them. So that finally meant getting fast food, fountain drinks, candy, and slushies. So whenever she got the chance, she’d get one because it was a reminder that she could. 

As she was walking back, she felt her phone buzzing, seeing a picture of her and Boscha on her screen. “Hey Bosh!”

“Where the hell are you! I’m finally home, and I wanna see your room, and also snoop through Luz’s stuff,” Boscha whispered into the phone.

“There will be no snooping you weirdo, and I’m walking back from the gas station,” she laughed.

“Why would you walk, you have a car?”

“Yeah but it’s five minutes away, driving would be stupid.”

“Whatever, I’m meeting you outside. I can’t wait to see you!!!” Boscha screeched into the phone, forcing Amity to take it away from her ear as she giggled a little bit. 

“Bosh, it’s been like four whole days,” she laughed as she started to see her in the distance by the side entrance to the building. 

Boscha hung up, and started to jog up to her. “AND THAT WAS TOO LONG!!!!” 

Amity jogged a little to meet her in the middle, and they embraced, laughing a little.

“I was starting to forget your face!” Boscha said as she pinched Amity’s cheeks.

“You are so dramatic. How was the break?” She asked as they started to head back inside.

“Eh, it was fine. My moms were annoying the hell out of me about classes and homework and whether or not I had met a girl yet. I just told them to back off and leave me alone,” she replied. 

“Yeah, I’d be embarrassed to tell my parents too if the only person I spent my time around was some business major with green hair instead of a romantic interest,” Amity laughed as they rounded the corner to their hall. 

“Ohhhhh at this point what’s the difference, we spend every minute together and are pretty much codependent at this point,” she nudged into her. 

“Says you, I am my own person. And why didn’t you tell them that you have a girl you’re actually interested in??”

“What are you talking about?” Boscha asked, following her to her new room. 

“Ya know, the one you were talking last week. The one who would know ‘when the time was right’, the one you yelled at the whole group to shut up about?”

“Ohhhh, right. Her. Well, I didn’t really wanna tell my moms anything until it actually was something,” Boscha nervously chuckled as Amity struggled to unlock her door.

“These keys suck. My last dorm had swipe access into the rooms, why did you convince me that the old building farthest from campus was a good idea??” Amity scoffed as she finally got her key in and opened the room up, “M’lady.”

“Why, thank you! And creepy old hospital with a beautiful pink haired girl two doors down outweighs a new pretty dorm any day,” Boscha joked as she walked inside, “woahhh she’s an even bigger nerd than you are somehow!”

“She is not, we are pretty even. I mean look at my desk,” she gestured to the corner behind their bunkbed. 

“Holy shit, do you have to sleep up there? That’s so selfish of her to make you have the top bunk,” she scoffed.

“No, it’s not. If I was in her shoes I’d do the same thing.”

“Whatever. This way you can spend more time in my room, sleeping on the floor of me and Skara’s room is a hell of a lot easier than climbing up there.”

“Why on earth would I choose to sleep on tile when I have a whole mattress??” Amity laughed as she sat down at her desk on top of some dirty clothes that she’d have to get to eventually. She was a little messy, but what eighteen year old wasn’t?

“Whatever. You said your brother helped you move in? How is he? Did he mention any drama happening with the upperclassmen?” Boscha asked.

“No, but he did mention a Halloween party that he was gonna drag me to,” Amity shrugged.

“Oh my god! Did you ask if we could come??” Boscha exclaimed.

“Oh would you wanna go to that?” Amity asked innocently, earning a groan out of her friend, “Yes, I told him you all would be there too.”

“God, I could kiss you right now! I’m so excited, what are we gonna wear? We are definitely wearing matching costumes. We should be devil and angel!!!” Boscha said as she plopped down onto Luz’s bed, contemplating the party. 

“Hey, don’t sit on her bed. And isn’t that more of a couple's costume?”

“It’s not like she’s here? And so what, we are each other’s better half. No one will care,” Boscha said, sitting up, but not out of the bed. 

“I don’t care if she’s here, it’s not nice! And costumes aren’t really my thing anyway, so whatever you say,” she said, checking her phone to realize it’s already three o’clock and Luz was going to be home in a few hours. She didn’t even notice the messages from the group chat from the rest of the girls who were also here. 

“I’m gonna tell the girls to come and meet us in your room, they want to see it!” Boscha said as she walked out of the room before Amity could protest. She didn’t want her room to be a public commune, especially not with Luz home to be able to police her own space as well. 

After a few minutes, the girls all walked in, gasping and snooping around the room. “Guys, don’t touch her stuff! Let’s just go out in the den, it’s too small for all six of us,” Amity said as she motioned for them to get out, closing the door behind her. She didn’t feel like locking it because she’d be right next to it in the common room. They all started to sit down on the couches, complaining about their families they saw or going on about their trips to wherever. Amity sat down at the end of the couch next to Bo.

“Hey! I saw you have a bunch of books above your desk, we NEED to trade sometime!” Bo said as she leaned back on the couch.

“Yeah, I would be so down for that! I started reading the one you gave me this weekend, but I haven’t gotten too far in it with moving and everything. But it’s really good so–”

“Bo, get up. I wanna sit by Amity,” Boscha interrupted their conversation, towering over them.

“Boscha, just sit over there, it’s not that big of a deal?” Amity questioned, gesturing to the empty space at the end of the couch across from them.

“Nah, it’s fine. Boscha seems to realllllly wanna sit by you,” Bo gabbed as she got up to take the empty space.

“Bo, shut up,” Boscha grumbled. She sat down, putting her arm around Amity. She looked at her questioning why she was being so rude, and Boscha shrugged. Amity just scoffed and leaned back into her arm and on the couch, trying to let it go and not think too hard about it. Sometimes that’s just how Boscha can be around the other girls, but especially with Amity. 

The girls went on to talk about the party that Amity had gotten them into, and she really didn’t seem to understand why they were planning so far ahead. Maybe it was because she really didn’t have anyone to impress. Either way, they continued to plan out their costumes as if it’d be the Met Gala, and then moved on to talking about drama in the arts department with people they all knew. She’d recognized a few of the names since they lived in the hall with her, but other than that she was entirely out of the loop.

Boscha started to notice how quiet she was being, “Hey, what are you thinking about?” she asked while the other girls went on about whoever was sleeping with who.

“Oh, nothing. I just don’t really know these people, but I have learned that no one’s business is private in that department,” Amity laughed at her. 

“Well then I guess you don’t have to worry about our business being out there, huh?” Boscha said, tightening her arm around Amity. 

“What do you mean ‘our’ business?”

“Oh, nothing,” Boscha backpedaled, “I just mean like YOU don’t have to worry about it because like, you aren’t in it, ya know?”

“Oh, yeah. I guess that’s true,” Amity said, still confused and a little uncomfortable. ‘Our’ business? What?  She then became dreadfully aware of Boscha’s grip on her, and started to feel like a possession to her, especially after the whole seat debacle. “I need to pee.. I’ll be back,” she said as she got up to go to her room for some space. 

“Okay, don’t be too long!” Boscha called to her, earning an awkward laugh from Amity. 

Amity got outside the room and blinked for a second as she thought about the way Boscha had been so clingy since she got back. She shrugged it off and went into her room, she didn’t really have to pee, but she thought she’d just go in there and sit on her phone for a second. So she sat at her desk and pulled up her messages, still realizing she had yet to introduce herself to Luz. She checked the time to see it was already the evening and there wasn’t any use in texting her. But that also meant that Luz would be home any minute probably, and the anxiety of being a sitting duck bombarded with an introduction she still wasn’t sure how she was gonna do was also not appealing to her. So she got up and started to head out, and just as she did she saw the door handle moving. Shit! Shit! Shit!

She stood frozen as the door opened wide to Luz carrying in a duffle bag. She looked up at Amity who was staring at her in the doorway, and took a small step back. 

“Hi!” Amity chirped abruptly with an awkward smile.

“Oh my god, you’re the girl! The one I ran into! With the slurpee!” Luz exclaimed, pointing.

“Yep! That’s me! I live here now! With you!” Amity staggered out, still standing frozen. 

“I haven’t been able to stop thinking about you!” She replied, “I mean like because I felt so bad, not like in a creepy way, I promise I am not like obsessed with you, I just haven’t seen you again since then and I–”

“I’m Amity.” She cut her off, holding her hand out for a hand shake. Who the hell shakes hands anymore, Amity??? It’s too late now, commit. 

“Ha, okay,” Luz shook her hand, awkwardly, “I’m Luz, but I’m sure you already know that… can I come in?”

“Oh! Yeah, sorry,” Amity said, blushing slightly out of embarrassment and turning around to walk further into the room. Luz followed her, closing the door behind her. 

“I was expecting a text, did you see my note?” She asked looking at the back of the door.

“Yes, I did. I just, I didn’t know how to text you. I’m not good with introductions if you couldn’t tell,” Amity chuckled nervously, hand on the back of her neck. 

“That’s okay. Couldn’t be worse than my introduction to you,” She laughed, setting her bag on her bed, “Love all the decorations, and I notice that you also don’t use the overhead light. That thing sucks, the fairy lights were a lifesaver.”

“Yeah, I used it for the first day and didn’t realize how much I hated it until I plugged those in,” she responded. 

“It definitely makes the room feel more like home. I’m sorry about the bunkbed situation, I can take the top if you want me too, I just didn’t have the time or man power to move it up there before you got here,” Luz said, chuckling a little. 

“Tell me about it, getting my sheet on was like fighting a demon. But I don’t mind, it’s cozy up there," She shrugged.

“Well, um, I’m happy you made this place feel more like home. The cinder blocks make that kind of hard, but I think we did pretty good!” 

“Yeah, I think the matching posters–” Amity was cut off by a knock on the door.

“A? You good in there? It’s been 20 minutes, did you fall in?” Boscha shouted. Amity went over to answer the door.

“I’m fine! I just, uh.. Look who’s here!” She said as she gestured to Luz behind her who gave a small wave.

“Oh… well why don’t you come back out here with us,” Boscha answered shortly. Amity looked back at Luz, honestly hoping she’d give her a reason not to. 

“Go on, I want to see Gus and Willow soon anyway, and I’ll see you,” Luz said, smiling at Amity, “Text me though, so I have your number!”

“Right! I will, uh.. It was good actually meeting you,” Amity said as she waved goodbye and closed the door behind her. She stood in front of it, still pondering on how awkward she was.

“You good?” Boscha asked, laughing slightly.

“Yeah! I’m fine, I just.. I don’t know, first time I met her and it was just awkward,” Amity laughed, turning to head back into the room with the girls. 

“Luz has a tendency to make any interaction awkward,” Boscha whispered. Amity wanted to defend Luz considering it was her that made it awkward, not Luz. But she just half laughed and sat back down on the couch. “Also as if you needed her permission to come back out, ‘go on’, who the hell does she think she is?”

“It wasn’t like that, I just didn’t want to be rude, Bosh,” Amity replied, starting to get annoyed with Boscha’s aggression toward her. 

“Whatever, just keep your distance. I don’t trust her,” Boscha said as she repositioned her arm around Amity, kicking her legs up on the leg rests. 

Amity didn’t want to respond, they hadn’t really had a disagreement since they met, and she didn’t want to make this their first one. She definitely didn’t like the way Boscha spoke about Luz, after all that was her roommate, but as she has quickly been learning the past few weeks: whatever Boscha says, goes. 

The girls were still gossiping once she actually attempted to tune back into the conversation, and she missed the nights they’d spend actually doing something more. She started to tune back out, once again feeling left out when she heard a laugh from the hallway that she recognized to be Luz’s. She could see their door from the room, and wondered what she was doing inside. Whatever it was, it had to be better than spending her night listening to the same strangers being discussed. So, she pulled out her phone to text Luz.

amity: hey! it's amity! 

luz: hey you! is it alright if gus and willow come over here? they won't be here long, but gus' roommate is being weird and willow doesn't talk to hers much

amity: yeah thats fine! i wont be out here too late so ill come and meet them later on!

luz: ill make sure theyre on their best behavior then (:

Amity was smiling at her phone for a while after that, and stayed on it to pass the time. Usually things with the girls was more fun and entertaining, so she hoped that the ongoing gossiping had more to do with them all being away from each other for the break and not that she was just getting bored of it all. The conversation circled back around to the party at the end of the month, and it started to make Amity feel anxious about it. She never really loved huge social situations, and the only thing that calmed her was knowing that her siblings were going to be there too. 

“So what are you two going as?” Cat asked, gesturing to Amity and Boscha, making her refocus on the conversation. 

“We are going to be an angel and devil! Amity is going to be the angel obviously, I mean look at her,” Boscha said, pulling Amity in closer with her arm.

“Are you insinuating that you look more like the devil? Because that would make sense too,” Amity said, earning a laugh from the group. 

“You’re such a bitch, ya know that?” Boscha said, laughing a little.

“And yet somehow you still wanna be around me all the time,” Amity responded.

“You two are going to be so cute!!!” Skara said, fawning. 

“I just don’t really know what else I’d go as to be honest, unless it was Hecate, but I don’t feel like having to explain my costume to everyone,” Amity laughed, and repositioned herself on the couch to loosen Boscha’s grip on her. 

“You and you’re nerdy shit, it’s almost cute,” Boscha poked. Amity rolled her eyes and checked her phone to see if it was an understandable time to excuse herself to go to sleep since classes did start back up tomorrow. It was nine, so hopefully that would be fine. “I’m gonna go get my stuff ready for class tomorrow and take a shower, night everyone!”

She got up immediately so no one could really protest, and didn’t really pay attention to whatever Boscha called out to her about being a loser for going back to her room so early. Behind the door she could hear Luz and her friends in there, and although she didn’t want to crash any fun they were having, she would much rather just be able to be in her own space right now. 

“Amity! Hey, this is Willow and Gus!” Luz said as she opened the door. Amity smiled at them both and realized she had recognized Gus. 

“You were in Macbeth!” She pointed to him.

“Oh I hope that’s not the only impression you have of me because that show was a nightmare,” Gus groaned.

“It wasn’t that bad, but I also don’t know anything about theatre,” Amity chuckled, crossing the room to sit in her desk chair while they sat on the ground. 

“Well I promise you, it was awful. But thanks for supporting the arts anyway!” He laughed. 

“You should come with us to see the next show he’s in later on in the year,” Willow suggested.

“I would love to, I usually don’t do much other than homework and read so that would be nice,” Amity smiled, happy to have started to make more friends. 

“Aren’t you always out in the common room with Boscha and everyone?” Luz asked. Oh so she’s noticed me..

“Yeah, but it’s not usually much more than just talking and going out to the hammocks. An actual thing to do outweighs gossiping any day,” Amity shrugged. 

“Alright, well we will gladly drag you along with us,” Luz smiled, “But it’s getting late, and Willow you told me that once it hits 9:30 to force you out of here so you could study.”

“Fine, I’ll go, it was nice meeting you Amity!” She said as she started to get up, holding a hand out for Gus to get up.

“Yeah! We will probably see you around more now that you live with Luz. Nice to have a face to the name of ‘pretty girl I crashed into a month ago’,” Gus laughed, also getting up. 

“GUS! GET OUT OF HERE!” Luz gasped, throwing a pillow at him as he walked out the door. Amity was blushing so hard that she had to turn towards her desk to ‘organize’.

“Sorry about that.. But you are.. Pretty I mean.. Anyways, I’m gonna read my book and go to bed. Night!” Luz staggered out, turning away quickly.

“Night,” Amity laughed. She got up, and got clothes for her to sleep in and headed into the bathroom to take a shower. She was still blushing by the time she had looked at herself in the mirror. Once she had checked she had all her shower stuff in there and a towel ready, she reached to pull the curtain back to start the water. Once she did, she noticed a giant bug in the middle of the tub and screamed. 

“BUG! BUG!” She was terrified of insects, one of the things she told Amelia about when they talked about unrealistic fears, so she climbed on top of the toilet until Luz ran in. 

“WHAT? OH MY BUG… I MEAN GOD. JESUS THAT THING IS HUGE!” Luz yelled back.

“KILL IT! PLEASE I AM TERRIFIED OF BUGS!” Amity begged. 

“KILL IT? NO! THAT’S SO MEAN! I’LL GET A CUP!” she said, disappearing back into the room as Amity swore the bug stared back at her. She returned with a piece of paper and a mug, and maneuvered it over the insect successfully and held it up anxiously as she ran out of the room to the exit beside their door. By the time she got back, Amity was still standing on top of the toilet, causing Luz to giggle at her. 

“Did you get it? Is it out of here?” She whined. 

“Yes, he’s gone, the ground is safe,” She chuckled, and helped Amity down.

“Sorry, I just– I hate those damn things.”

“Ohhhh, they’re harmless, weird-looking and scary at first, but they’re just lil guys!”

“They carry diseases, Luz! And why do they have so many legs!” Amity shivered, causing Luz to laugh even more. 

“You can carry diseases too, ya know. Maybe you’re a bug,” Luz suggested, smiling at her.

“I’m an Amity, not a bug,” She huffed, but calmed down more knowing that Luz had gotten it out of the room for her. 

“Okay, whatever you say, bug,” Luz said, still smiling at her, “Goodnight, silly.” 

“Thank you, goodnight Luz.”

Chapter Text

October got exponentially colder as the weeks got closer to Halloween. Amity’s anxiety also got exponentially worse thinking about going to a party only knowing a total of eight people, two of which are her siblings. She knew a lot of names, but no actual faces. However, it did bring her some comfort knowing that she had a leg up on a good majority of the party since she knew all their business from the gossiping and they knew nothing about her. 

While the party edged closer, Boscha had seemed to get more and more overprotective about her relationship with Amity. Pushing her to stay out later with them, spending the night on the floor, and mentioning her dislike of Luz any chance she got. The only moments Amity actually got to see Luz was coming home late at night while she was already asleep or greetings as one came and went to wherever they were going. She wanted to be able to defend Luz to Boscha, but truthfully she didn’t know much about her roommate. And once again, she did not want to have her first fight with Boscha. 

Although she was annoyed with her and felt like she was being paranoid about Luz’s ‘intentions’ as she called it, Amity still loved Boscha. She was her first true friend on campus, and she honestly had not been this close to anyone ever. She trusted that Boscha had good intentions because there’s no reason she wouldn’t, and that she was just fearful of Amity getting close to someone other than her. It was an absurd fear, but she still thought it came from a place of love within Boscha, not malintent. And besides, everyone seemed to love Boscha, if she truly was a bad person she wouldn’t have so many friends. 

The Thursday before the party was the first time Amity was able to have a night in without being dragged out to the den by her friends, and she didn’t realize how much she needed it. Of course she still did her homework, even though she dreaded it, but she hadn’t had any time just to herself. So she decided that she’d finish her homework and do some laundry since she was running out of clean clothing, and read some of the book that Bo had given her. 

Although she was nervous at first that Luz would hate her for how messy she could be, Luz’s side of the room wasn’t necessarily the cleanest either. Boscha had seen it whenever she’d come to steal Amity, and would always complain to her about how 'rude' it was she didn’t clean up her dirty clothes as if it wasn’t the fault of both of the room’s inhabitants. However, Amity weirdly found comfort in knowing that a messy room was still a safe space for her for the times she couldn’t bring herself to actually clean up. Freshman year was hard, and surprisingly finding time to do laundry was even harder, so she was honestly relieved to know that she could do it tonight.

Of course, just as she thought that, there was a knock on the door. She loved her friends but it was exhausting acting like an extravert and not giving herself the time she needed to recharge. But she still opened the door anyway. 

“Hey! Sorry, I forgot my key,” Luz smiled awkwardly, and Amity immediately sighed out of relief.

“You’re fine, I was just starting to clean up and thought I’d go down to do some laundry,” Amity said as she started to throw some of the clothes on the ground into her overflowing hamper. 

“I’m sorry I’m so messy by the way, but I have some time if you want some company since I obviously need to do the same?” Luz questioned as she set her backpack down. 

“Yeah, I don’t wanna be alone in the basement anyway,” Amity laughed.

“I don’t blame you, but I will blame the reason I hadn’t done my laundry since break on that and not that I am just warn out from classes,” Luz pointed out.

“Oh, it’s the same for me, totally,” Amity responded causing them both to half heartedly laugh. 

They walked out of the room and made their way to the elevator, leaving some clothes behind since they weren’t able to fit them all, and made some of the same small talk they always did. How was your week? How were your classes today? Etc. Once they got to the laundry room, they set their stuff down and started hunting for empty machines. 

“You have GOT to be kidding me!” Amity groaned, plopping on the small couch in the room.

“No luck on this side either.. I guess everyone needs their entire closet to prepare for Halloweekend,” Luz shrugged, sitting next to her, “what about you? Got any plans?”

“Yeah, my brother is throwing this huge party for a bunch of theatre majors. Well, I guess it’s really for anyone if he’s letting me come. But anyway he is forcing me to go and so is Boscha and everyone,” Amity rambled on.

“Well that sounds like fun! Are you dressing up like anyone?”

“Only because Boscha volun-told me to be an angel so she could be a devil, trust me I know how uncreative that is, I just didn’t feel like it was worth disagreeing over because she seemed so excited,” Amity laughed.

“That’s so sweet! You guys are gonna look so cute together! People hate on couple’s costumes but I think they are always so–”

“Couples?” Amity sat up, looking at Luz concerned.

“Yeah, like Cosmo and Wanda, or Bonnie and Clyde–”

“No, I know what they are, but.. do you think Boscha and I are a couple?” 

“Well, yeah, it’s pretty obvious. Are you not?” Luz asked, genuinely confused.

“No, not at all! She’s just a friend,” Amity replied, eyebrows furrowed.

“Oh.. are you sure Boscha knows that?” Luz questioned slowly.

“Yeah! She always says I’m her best friend and how we are two in the same and how she’s so happy she met me, and besides she said she has a crush on someone else and she’s gonna tell that person when the time is right,” Amity exclaimed, flustered at the thought of Luz thinking that she was dating Boscha, or anyone at all if she was being honest.

“Okay, but I would just be cautious because she makes it seem to everyone like you’re dating. Gus says that you are all she talks about in their acting classes and during rehearsals and stuff,” Luz said, starting to get up so they could head back up to their room. 

“That would be crazy, she definitely only views me as a friend. Anyway, enough about Boscha, what are you doing tomorrow night?” Amity asked as she followed Luz down the hallway, not wanting to be left behind.

“Oh, not much. I think I am gonna drag Willow out of the science building and watch scary movies with her, I think Gus has plans.”

“Would you wanna come to that party with me? It’ll be fun, or at least I hope,” Amity said as they got onto the elevator.

“HA! No, no theatre parties for me. I heard those things were insane, and they all have a lot of energy that I just don’t have for social events,” Luz laughed. 

“Yeah… I’m not too excited about that either,” Amity confessed mostly to herself as the elevator dinged. 

“Then why would you go? You can join me and Willow! We’ll even let you pick the movie if you want,” Luz said, nudging into her with her laundry basket.

“Honestly that sounds like a dream, but my brother and Boscha would kill me if I flaked now. I will more than gladly take you up on that offer another Friday night though,” Amity chuckled as Luz unlocked the door. 

“Okay, well if you change your mind, just text me and we will make sure to make enough popcorn for you too,” Luz smiled back at her. 

They set their laundry baskets back on their floor, and Amity swore to herself she would have to do some tomorrow in between classes in order to have any clothes to wear. Luz left to go back to the arts building to finish a project, leaving Amity alone to wallow about how dreadful tomorrow night was going to be.

The next day went by incredibly quickly regardless of how Amity wanted time to be slower. She couldn’t stop thinking about how the party was going to go, she had never really been to one, not counting the one she came home to in her parents house thrown by Ed when her parents were on a business trip. However, she sort of knew those people because she had gone to the same high school, even if they were seniors and she was a sophomore. But she did spend that night locked in her room.

The people that were going to be there tonight she didn’t actually know. The handful she did were going to be occupied by the ladder and so she was entirely anxious about how she was going to socialize. But she knew she could count on texting her siblings to possibly calm her down.

mittens: hey guys i wont lie i am freaking out about this party tonight and like idk asking for you all to give me a reason to calm the hell down

ed: awwww baby’s first party!!! dont worry ill make sure ppl are nice and you have fun

em: ill be there too am, and i wont be drinking bc im taking viney and im driving. so just find me when things get overwhelming, k? you got this mittens! 

mittens: okay, that makes me feel better. i didnt even think about the drinking party tho.. now im worried about that. 

em: if ya dont wanna drink then dont, and if anyone forces you too lmk and ill kick their ass

ed: not to be the demon on ur shoulder, but maybe drinking would help with the anxiety. im only ever here to be a bad influence sry

em: don’t listen to him, if you wanna drink, we will be there to keep you safe, if you dont, then dont let anyone make you, even ed. 

Emira ended her text with a rolling eyes emoji, and Amity responded with a thanks to them both. She really didn’t know what she would do without them, even if they took turns being bad influences on her. As far as drinking, she never had before. She had chances too, but she was always a goody-two-shoes, and drinking underage was wrong and Amity only ever did right. But that wasn’t the case now that she was in college and away from her mother. She wasn’t worried about its legality anymore, so many people do it in college so she really couldn’t care less as long as she didn’t get caught(and she won’t, Amity is smart). 

She was sitting in her dorm, it was about seven o’clock and the party didn’t actually start until ten, so she really had nothing to do except for calm her nerves and let herself read and play on her phone. Luz was home and doing the same in her own bed as Amity sat on the floor with her back on the end bedpost. They had learned to coexist in comfortable silence and to a certain extent that made Amity feel warm, it’s hard to find people you can do that with, let alone people you barely know. She also thought it was adorable to hear Luz’s reactions to whatever book she was reading because she literally acted as if she was watching a drama on Netflix and verbally would gasp and curse at scenes and characters. This time was no exception, and it always made her giggle. 

“No fucking WAY!!! He did NOT!!!” Luz exclaimed as a whisper yell, shooting up in her bed so that she was upright. 

“What did he do now?” Amity laughed.

“I– he– I don’t wanna tell you because this book is so good. I am gonna force you to read it once you’re done with that one. But just know that you’ll be reacting the same way,” Luz rambled, still in shock from whatever she just read. She was at the end of the book, and this wasn’t the first of time that Luz had said she was going to make Amity read it next. 

“What book is that again?”

“It’s the Rise of Kyoshi !! I mean people make jokes about her being ruthless and stuff but when you read it you get the whole story and she had no choice!! It’s also psh-psh-psh,” Luz explain, adding a few wrist flicks to get her point across. 

“Wait, Avatar Kyoshi is queer?!” Amity shot up to look back at Luz.

“Yeah, I’m pretty sure every female Avatar is, it’s like and unwritten rule, have you not read the Korra comics?” Luz chuckled, “Cause I have those too.”

“Yes, I knew Korra was. I wouldn’t miss a queer character.” Would you? This is a test, say you idolize queer characters too.. 

“Understandable, but you’d love Kyoshi’s story. Not just the queer part, that’s just an added bonus.”

Like an added bonus because you get to see yourself in the character or an added bonus because you’re an ally that understands that representation is important? Dammit Luz give me SOMETHING.

“It always is!” Amity laughed, still testing the waters. She was certain that Luz knew that Amity was gay, she thought she was dating Boscha, so there was no hiding the fruitiness. But she still wasn’t sure if Luz was, and she l was not ready to admit to herself why she cared so much. She told herself it was just because she was curious, and that it would give them another thing to talk about. That was all. 

Luz smiled and went back to reading, and Amity was once again left alone in her thoughts about this party. She sighed and put her head back and stared at the ceiling. 

“Whatcha thinking about?” Luz asked, putting her bookmark in and turning her attention towards her. 

“This damn party. I am literally so anxious about it and I don’t understand why if I’m being honest. Three of the people I trust the most in the world are going, my siblings and Boscha, so why can’t I just get over it?” Amity sighed.

“Sometimes big crowds are overwhelming to think about, even with people you know. If you don’t wanna go just tell them that, they should understand. And it means you get to join me and Willow,” Luz said, nudging the other as hung her legs off the bed. 

“I already agreed to it, and I honestly don’t wanna back out. I know I need to push myself out of my shell,” She sighed back, “But I don’t even know what I am going to wear and I don’t know how I’m going to socialize with theatre majors, but at least I can hide out in my brother’s room if I need a breather.”

“Or, if you need a long breather as in ‘get me the hell out of this place’, just shoot me a text and I’ll be there to take you home. Or you can just text me throughout it even if you just need someone to calm you down, I deeply understand anxiety, so it’s not biggie,” Luz slid down on the floor to sit next to her. And they were close, like Amity getting butterflies in her stomach close, she’s your roommate Amity, don’t you dare blush . It was too late. What can she say? A pretty girl sits shoulder to shoulder with you, and tells you she’ll keep you safe, who the hell wouldn’t blush?

“Thank you, Luz. I might, I mean my sister can take me home, but I might just text you so at least you know I haven’t been sucked into an improv game or something,” Amity laughed, “What the hell do they do at theatre parties anyway? I doubt there will be beer pong, I doubt any of them even drink beer and I wouldn’t blame them.”

“Me neither, that stuff tastes disgusting. But in high school when that’s all you had to drink, you get used to it I guess,” Luz shrugged.

“You drank in high school?”

“Don’t seem too surprised,” Luz laughed, “I’ll have you know that Willow, Gus and I will randomly get wine drunk here in the dorms just to have something to do.” 

“And I’ve never been invited? That’s so rude of you all,” Amity gave a half-hearted attempt to act offended.

“I wasn’t sure if you would want to be! You seem so put together, and honestly you’re quiet so the last thing I’d think you would want to do is drink moscato and wander around campus or push each other down the halls in the those move-in carts,” Luz laughed. 

“You all wander around campus? What if you get caught? Can’t you get in big trouble?”

“It’s not like we bring the wine with us, and it’s like 2 AM when we do it, there’s no one around. Actually once there was a campus cop that pulled up and we did have to act sober and like we were just bored and wanted to take a walk. I’ll be honest though, I don’t really think they care as long as you aren’t being disruptive or vandalizing anything. All the buildings are open 24/7 anyways so it’s not like we aren’t allowed to be there,” Luz pointed out. 

“Yeah, I guess that makes sense. I don’t know if I am going to drink to be honest,” Amity sighed, “I don’t wanna end up asleep in a bathtub or a ditch or something.”

“I promise that’s not as likely as you think it is, but if it gets to be morning and you’re not home I’ll personally search every ditch in a 10 mile radius,” Luz chuckled, taking a moment before she spoke again, “Or, if this is something you feel comfortable with, and I totally understand if you don’t, we can.. share our locations with each other? I won’t stalk you or check it randomly, but just in case the other isn’t home and we don’t know why or I don’t know whenever we go to parties or events. Just like as a way to ensure the other knows they’re safe whenever they don’t respond. But like I said, you absolutely don’t have to. I share my location with Willow and it’s been helpful in a lot of cases whenever either of us are out late doing anything so we know the other made it home safe.”

Wait.. are they dating? They are having a movie night alone tonight, maybe? Who cares! Good for them! Stop thinking about it! “Honestly, that would make me feel more safe. I don’t mind at all.”

“Okay, then maybe that’s one less reason to be anxious? And if anything, I’ll be here when you get back so if you need to debrief or anything I can stay up. God knows I would be awake anyway,” Luz laughed, nudging her shoulder. 

“Thank you, Luz. It means a lot. I probably will text you throughout the night to keep myself occupied at least.”

“And I am more than okay with that! Are you at least a little more excited? It is Halloweekend, so that’s at least something to be happy about.”

“Yeah, I am. Although I wish I could go as Hecate instead of–” Amity was cut off by the few knocks on the door.

“A! Come on, the girls are getting ready! Let me in so we can pick out your outfit!!” Boscha yelled. 

Amity sighed, “Is it alright if she comes in?”

“Yeah, I don’t mind,” Luz smiled, getting back up in her bed. 

Amity got up too, and let Boscha in, who immediately went into her closet rambling about how they need to make sure that they match well in ‘aesthetics’ and how she wanted to make sure Amity had the right clothes. 

“Do you seriously only have white T-shirts? You didn’t go shopping for this?” Boscha whined.

“Why would I go shopping? And I have a white crop top, and I think I have white jeans. And actually I did buy wings and a halo, but no I didn’t buy clothes,” Amity chuckled. 

“Yeah but I’m wearing a skirt so you should too!!! I have a white tennis skirt and a white cropped tank top thing, you’ll be wearing that, and grab your converse. And you’re make up! Oh and a closed cup with a straw! I’m so EXCITED!!!” Boscha said, completely ignoring to greet Luz at all and leaving the room heading back to hers. 

“I think she’s excited,” Luz laughed. 

“Yeah, me too…” Amity replied, starting to collect her stuff to head two doors down.

“Hey, remember, text me if you need anything! I’ll be here, okay?”

“Okay, thank you Luz. See you on the other side,” Amity chuckled nervously, heading out.

The girls lived in a clump at the other end of C-wing, so their doors were all open as they walked back and forth between the rooms getting ready. It was only almost 8 PM, so she really didn’t understand why they were getting ready so early, but she went with it. She hoped some time getting ready with her friends made things seem more exciting rather than overwhelming too. 

“Here! You’ll wear this!” Boscha said, forcing what seemed like very little clothing in her hands. And it was, a mini tennis skirt and what looked like a bikini top, both white of course. 

“I– is this a swimsuit? I am not wearing this.” 

“It’s not a swimsuit you weirdo,” Boscha laughed as she straightened her hair, “It’s a crop top, the straps wrap around your body and it’ll be super cute!! Just put it on before you turn it down, I promise you’ll look hot. You always do.” 

“Fine, but if I hate it–”

“You WON’T! Just put it on!” Boscha said, throwing a pillow off her bed from her desk to push Amity into the bathroom. So she did, and she won’t lie, she does look great. She has never put anything on and thought she was ‘hot’, but this might be the first time she truly did think she was. She still felt incredibly uncomfortable though.

“Bosh, I need your help with this top, I have no idea how to put this on!” Amity shouted, earning a laugh from Boscha as she opened the bathroom door to Amity holding it over herself. 

“Here,” Boscha giggled, blushing a little, “You just wrap it around your waist a few times and it makes like a strappy crop top. This part is like a halter neck, let me tie it in the back.”

Once she was done, Amity looked in the body mirror on the outside of the bathroom door, honestly admiring herself. She’d be lying if she said she didn’t look good in the outfit, she’s never seen herself in an outfit like this. She’d also be lying if she said she felt fully confident with this much skin exposed. 

“You look… hot, Amity,” Boscha said, also staring at the reflection. 

“Yeah? I just don’t know how I feel about this much skin showing.. And ya know.. What if.. My boob falls out,” Amity whispered, earning a laugh from Boscha. 

“It won’t, and if it did, no one would forget you at least,” Boscha continued to laugh.

“Not helping. Don’t you have a white cardigan? Can I just wear that? It’s also almost November, Bosh, it’s like forty degrees outside. 

“Fine, I don’t want you to be uncomfortable, let me grab it,” she rummaged through her closet and then handed it to Amity. “Now, let’s do your makeup, and you should curl your hair! It’ll look so good! I’ll even do it all for you if you want?”

“Please, I’m so anxious that if I tried to do my eyeliner right now, I think I’d stab myself in the eye.”

“Oh, I know what will make you less anxious…” She said as she got something from the back of her closet and presented her with a huge plastic bottle of cheap vodka. 

“Boscha! Put that away! Your door is wide open!” Amity whisper yelled.

“As if Viney would care, but just follow me, I’ll put it away.”

They left the room, Amity anxious for anyone to see her, so she clasped the cardigan closed as Boscha dragged her to the vending machine in the main hallway that connected the wings. She got two bottles of orange juice, and then ran back, Amity in hand, and she couldn’t help but giggle with her as they did. This was the fun she was missing, instead of the gossiping, just her and Boscha being themselves around each other. They got back to her dorm, and she poured the orange juice into their cups, and then brought back out the vodka. 

“Alright, I’m gonna be a little heavy handed, but I promise you won’t taste it. These things are great because the orange juice like cancels out the alcohol,” Boshca said, pouring it into her own cup.

“I’ve.. I’ve never drank before Bosh. And so maybe be not that heavy handed?” Amity chuckled.

“Fine, but I promise you won’t taste it, and it will make you feel less anxious. You’ll just be giggly and fun Amity like you normally are, but this time you won’t think as hard about it all. I’ll be there too, A. I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

Amity couldn’t help but feel warm at the thought of so many people making sure was taken care of tonight. Luz was the one she felt warmest about, though. She barely knew her, but would drop everything to make sure she was okay, and something about that made her stomach flop. Boscha handed the cup back to her, insinuating she take a sip. So she did, gagging a little. 

“You are such a LIAR! This taste like hand sanitizer with orange juice on the side,” She laughed. 

“Okay well, eventually you won’t taste it, I guess I’m just used to them. Besides, alcohol is not meant to taste good, it just gets you drunk,” Boscha shrugged, sipping on her own, “Now, sit down Amity Blight, I am going to make you the hottest girl at the party. You already would be, but with makeup and hair no one will even be close.” 

She sat down in Boscha’s chair as she did her magic, white eyeliner with little hearts around her eyes, bright glittery highlighter with heavy pink blush, and even false eyelashes. Amity loved doing her own makeup, so this wasn’t new to her, but she loved having someone else do it for her so she could just relax. Especially since it was someone she was so close to. Boscha had been acting weird the past few weeks, extra clingy with her. But this is the same kind of fun they had when she first met her, now there was just a costume and some vodka involved. But Boscha was there, so she wasn’t worried about the added components. 

By the time Boscha finished her look, it was already almost 10, but she was told to never be on time to a party so she didn’t have the normal anxiety from being late. She had also had a few more sips and was feeling warm already. They were taking two separate ubers there, so the other half had already left, and Skara, Bosh and her were left waiting for the other. While they did, and the other two talked about who all was going to be there, she decided to text Luz. 

amity: hey! we are ab to leave, looking angelic as ever(there’s even glitter on my face, thank you boscha). i shared my location, so make sure to study up on the ditches of the area

luz: i’d pay to see you right now, sparkles and everything. and you got it, ill even make sure to have my hiking boots ready

amity: i can swing by for second?  we are waiting for our ride to get here

luz:oooooo i get to see an angel? sign me up. 

“I’ll be right back, Luz wants to see my costume,” Amity said, gushing just a little bit and starting to walk out of the room.

“Wait! Our ride is a minute away, she can see you later! Come on, A!!” Boscha said, pulling her out of the room and too the exit, past her dorm door. 

“Aw, okay. I guess you’re right.” Amity pouted, but followed her anyway. She texted Luz back. 

amity: hey, sorry the uber just got here to interrupt your divine intervention

luz: that’s okay, ill see you later! 

luz: be safe okay? i’m serious about calling me, anytime. ill be there (:

Amity blushed at the text as she got in the car. Maybe she was a little more excited that she thought she’d be, or maybe that was just the ‘screwdriver’ cocktail that Boscha had made her. Either way she was bound to have fun because she promised herself she would. And even if the party wasn’t everything she’d hope it would be, Luz would be there to save her. Or Emira, or Ed. Or Bosh. 

Boscha grabbed her hand and smiled at her, “We look good together, Blight.”

“We did match up pretty well. I won’t lie, I’m excited. Thank you for making me come,” Amity smiled back at her, squeezing her hand. But she couldn’t shake the feeling that maybe Boscha wasn’t just insinuating to the costumes.

Chapter Text

You know those college parties that you see in coming-of-age movies? The flashing lights, hundreds of people? Red solo cups everywhere, a keg or two? Yeah, this party was nothing like that. 

Which, to be frank, Amity was relieved to find out. However, it was just a two bedroom apartment and around thirty people shoved into it. Music was booming, lights were dim, and everyone was carrying their own cup. She guessed it was because everyone had brought their own drink, and also anyone underage wouldn’t be caught with any kind of incriminating labels. She was learning the ways of college underclassmen quickly and conveniently. 

They walked in through the back sliding door since Amity was comfortable enough with the space to let herself in, and the girls went on and on about how excited they were, and ran off to their other friends to greet them. Boscha stayed with her which she was undeniably grateful for, and smiled at her to show that, earning one back. They were still grasping each other's hands, Boscha told her she’d hold onto it until she didn’t feel as anxious anymore. She searched the room just trying to find her siblings, knowing they’d probably be busy but at least she could tell them she was there. 

She hadn’t stopped nursing on her drink since they came in, she was feeling warm, but not giggly like Boscha had promised her. Boscha, however, was almost finished with her drink. Amity could tell she was definitely feeling it by the way she kind of wobbled around the living room, and considered that maybe holding her hand might be more necessary for Boscha right now than it was for her. 

“MITTENS! YOU MADE IT!” Ed yelled across the room from the kitchen as he ran to her to lift her into a bear hug.

“Put me down!!” Amity muffled while her face was being squished to her brother's chest. She could tell that he was definitely already drinking.

“Mittens?” Boscha said as she stifled a giggle.

“Oh! You must be Amity’s … friend..” Ed said, winking at Amity causing her to groan. 

“Yup! I am here. With Amity,” Boscha gleamed back.

“Well, you two have fun, Amity let me know when you wanna take a shot with me, that is also not a choice. There’s some other freshmen scattered around, you can go in my bedroom. I think people are hanging out there.  Em should be here, too.” Ed scurried back to his junior friends in the kitchen, who were matching his costume of what she could only describe as a half-assed hippie with the flower sunglasses, tie-dye shirts, and other random pieces that matched the look.  

“Welp… What do we do now?” Amity asked, looking at Boscha. 

“We should find some other people around so I can introduce you, and you should drink more!” Boscha half-yelled, nudging to move Amity’s cup to her mouth. Yeah, she is definitely drunk already. 

“Geez, okay!” Amity giggled as she took a few more drinks. If everyone else here was already drunk, why the hell shouldn’t she be?

Boscha pulled her around, searching as she did, then to the hallway where Ed’s bedroom door was open to a group of people sitting around in the room playing some kind of game. She recognized a few familiar faces like Skara and Bo, and Gus!

“Gus! You’re here! Oh thank god I know someone else here,” She exclaimed, plopping down next to him. 

“Amity! Love the costume,” he said, dressed as some kind of pirate, “Or should I say the matching costume with Boscha! Fun!” He stifled a giggle as he looked away. 

“I know what you’re thinking right now, and no it’s not what you think it is,” She whispered to him from the corner of her mouth. 

“Are you sure she knows that?” He returned. 

“Why do people keep asking me that? Yes!” She thought back to Luz’s exact same words. 

“Okay! Okay. Just making sure,” he chuckled back, “Anyway we aren’t really doing much back here. It started as us playing truth or dare, but everyone keeps saying truth so it’s really just that. Except you take a drink if you don’t wanna answer it.”

“Hey! You can’t blame me! I had to pee, it was 2 AM and I was locked out of my dorm!” A guy with brown hair exclaimed as the group laughed back at him. 

“Whatever you say, Matt! It’s your turn now!” Skara laughed.

“Okay, fine. Gus, did you or did you not actually lock me out of our dorm so you could have someone over?”

“WHAT? No, as I told you a million times before dude, I fell asleep! It was midterms, I was tired!”

“What could you possibly have been tired from, your midterm was to perform a monologue,” Gus scoffed, “I had to construct an entire sculpture for my props class!”

“So that was what all the styrofoam pieces were in our room? I had that stuff clinging to my pants for DAYS! Whatever, Amity. I’m asking you next,” He turned to her, wiggling his eyebrows. She gulped a bit, not knowing at all what could possibly come out of his mouth, “Do you have a crush on anyone right now?”

She looked at him wide eyed, knowing he was trying to pull something out of her. However she was kind of drunk already, so the question made her blush. Because of course she did, she slept 4 feet above her. Maybe it was just some school girl crush, but she was pretty. She giggled to herself at the thought, but she knew that if she answered that meant she would be pried about who next. And Amity is a terrible liar. 

So, she looked around the room at the people awaiting her answer and confidently brought her straw to her lips and drank. Her thought behind the action was just to keep the pressure off her from answering, but once her tipsy brain caught up with her actions she realized she had just basically given one. The room laughed at her, but what she didn’t notice was Boscha blushing beside her. 

“Okay, moving on,” She said, she was definitely more confident than she was sober, she narrowed her eyes on Bo, “Bo, you told me one night about a ‘book you were reading online’, was it fanfic?”

“Oh my god, I knew you’d catch onto that! Takes one to know one, though,” She narrowed her eyes back at her.

“Alright, I concede, I am a fangirl at heart,” She raised her arms up in defense. 

“You're such a nerd. An angelic and cute one, but still a nerd,” Boscha leaned on her giggling. 

“Okay! My turn, Boscha! Do YOU have a crush on anyone right now?” Bo smiled, knowingly. 

Boscha immediately pulled away from Amity, blushing, but brought her drink up to sip from . The group ‘ooo’ed at her as she looked over at Amity.

Oh shit…

Amity looked over at Gus, wide eyed. Gus was already staring back at her with his lips flattened giving her an ‘I told you so’ look. How could she have been so oblivious.. Who the hell listens to a ‘friend' say that they complete each other and all that nonsense and not realize that they mean it romantically? No wonder she had been so clingy and possessive of her. Oh my god. 

“I think we have some love birds in the room!” Skara exclaimed, slurring her words a little. With that, Amity took a giant swig of her drink so she could maybe feel less flustered by the whole mess.

The game continued, and Amity could barely pay attention to anything that was happening. She had never really been this close to a friend before, or really had even someone she would call a best friend until Boscha. She started to think of all the times they had been alone together: Boscha cuddling her, holding her hand through the late night runs to the grocery store, everything all made sense. She thought that maybe she was just a touchy kind of friend, that was her love language kind of thing. And well, it was. And Boscha had even been basically telling everyone they were together, and she still thought that she only viewed Amity as her best friend. 

But maybe.. Maybe she had been just as clingy back? She let her be touchy, teased her right back, and even agreed with Boscha whenever she would say that they understood each other very deeply. She wasn’t necessarily thinking that she had also had a crush on her, but she was thinking about the possibility of it all. She had been in her dorm with Luz for almost two months now, and she didn’t think that Luz was showing even a slight interest in her. Maybe she should entertain the idea of getting over it.. But then again she wasn’t flat out flirting with Luz. 

She cared deeply for Boscha, and at the end of the day she did not want to lose her. However, she also did not like the thought of Boscha basically claiming her this whole time without her really being aware of it. But someone who knew her very well liked her, and that did give her butterflies and she wasn’t going to deny that. Maybe she didn’t necessarily feel the same, but it was still flustering to think about. How did I miss this?

She had been too caught up in her fluttering feelings for Luz, that’s how. 

“Hey, can we go outside? I need some air.. I think I’m drunk,” Boscha giggled, getting up and offering a hand to Amity. She accepted it, but realized as she got up that she also was quite drunk. 

“Yeah, me too..” She laughed, following her out. 

They went outside, and surprisingly to Amity the cold didn’t really bother her too much. Then she quickly realized she was alone with the person who indirectly told everyone that she had a crush on Amity. That made her sober up a bit.

“So.. Do you have a crush on anyone right now? Anyone I might know?” Boscha said, giggling at her, still wobbling a bit. 

“Oh hush, I took a drink, I didn’t say I did ,” Amity chuckled nervously back. 

“Well if you did.. You should like.. Tell them.. Because I’m pretty sure the feelings are mutual and you guys would be great together..” Boscha replied, looking at her to give her anything.

“Uh.. I don’t think it would work out.. I don’t want to ruin my friendship with that person,” Whether she was talking about Luz or Boscha didn’t matter at this point, because both stood true. But hopefully Boscha would read it anyway. 

“Well maybe the friendship had been a crush the whole time and that person just wanted to wait until the time was right..” Alright, this was getting to be way too obvious at this point.

“I-” Amity thought slowly because her brain quite literally wouldn’t allow her not to, “I’m cold, I’m gonna go inside.”

Amity didn’t give her a chance to respond before she headed back, eyes on the ground. She wasn’t drunk enough, if she wanted to stop thinking about this she was going to need the help of her brother. So she excused herself through the small crowd of people in the living room and  headed into the kitchen, finding him talking to his friends along with Em and Viney. She walked into the middle, not caring that she had now had the attention on her, and interrupted the entire conversation. 

“Alright Ed, let’s take this damn shot.”

“I’m gonna act like I don’t see you here, and you are not about to be drunk in my hallway when you get back,” Viney slurred, leaning on Em.

“YEAHHHH, SIS! I’ve been waiting to hear those words for your whole LIFE!” Ed yelled, turning around to pour them. 

“You doing okay?” Em asked, noticing how flustered Amity seemed to be.

“I’m great, but I’ll be better once I take this shot.” Amity seriously didn’t know what had gotten into her, well she did , but seriously where did this confidence come from. 

“Alright, count us Blights down! Em you should get in on this!” Ed exclaimed, slurring his words as well.

“When I am not the one driving, I will totally take a family shot with you all,” she laughed back.

“This one is for Odalia Blight for the shit she put us through!” He yelled as the group encouraged and counted them down. Amity could drink to that.

Amity put the small cup up to her mouth and didn’t think twice about gulping the whole thing down next to her brother. They both slammed it back down on the counter as they finished, Amity coughing as her throat stung.

“That was awful..” She gasped. 

“But it’s fun sister! Let’s give it up for the little Blight!” He rose up their arms in victory as the group cheered, “You want another one? Once again, bad influence here.”

“Fuck it. Let’s do it.”

“HELL YEAH!” 

They took the next one, and it didn’t hurt nearly as much as the first. She knew she would probably regret it all later, but it was worth it now. She was already feeling more drunk than before, forgetting the whole truth or truth game and its consequences. 

“When you’re ready for that ride home, you let me know,” Em laughed.

She nodded at her, and walked back to Ed’s room to find them all still joking around, and now playing a different game with someone’s phone. She sat down again next to Gus and blinked a few times. The room was hazy, but she didn’t really care, and Boscha was nowhere to be seen. 

“Everything all good?” He asked, secluding themselves a little .

“I have no clue, and I am not gonna worry about that tonight,” She proclaimed, mostly to herself. 

“Alright, then are you gonna tell me about who this crush is if it’s not her?”

“Also don’t wanna think about that one because it may be even more complicated.”

“Oh my god, it’s Luz isn’t it?” Amity looked back at him wide eyed, finding her cup that she had abandoned when she left earlier, and took the last drink out of it while still keeping eye contact with him. “It is!”

“Fine! Seriously, what is with her? She’s so cute and awkward and geeky and– JESUS, Gus! She’s my roommate!” She exclaimed, not necessarily knowing why she was telling him anything. She hadn’t even fully confessed to herself that she had a crush on her, but to him and with her newfound pride she didn’t hold back. “Oh my god, if you tell her I will literally kill you.”

“I won’t say anything! Geez, I just so happen to like breathing,” He laughed. “But you should figure out what is going on between you and Boscha first because that is a sticky situation.”

“I am well aware.. What the hell am I gonna say to her???”

“Maybe just like.. stop being around her all the time and she’ll get the message,” he shrugged. Amity didn’t like the thought, it seemed cold. “And, you’ll have more time to spend with Luz.”

“Shut up! Maybe I should just… I don’t know. That’s a problem for future Amity.”

“Alright, well my lips are sealed. But all I am gonna say is that Luz thinks you're cute too,” he winked, turning his attention back to the game.

Amity smiled at the thought, blushing and giggling. I should text her. 

amity: hows the movie night going? 

luz: well we finished the first one, but willow has homework so she’s ab to leave me bored :( how’s the party ?

amity: i cant really see straight.. but i never really cuold so thats not new adfhkj

luz: oh so we’re making gay jokes and typos.. so i’m guessing the cup boscha forced you to grab came in hand lol

amity: yeah it defenitly did but it’s empty now :(

luz: why don’t you drink some water silly, do you need me to come get you?

amity: no, im gonna get my sis to drive me home soon i feel looopppyyy

luz: okay, well if she can’t i'll come get ya, like i said i'm bored anyway lol

amity: nahhhh ill be home soon, but i cant really promise i wont be drunk when i do

luz: a drunk angel? sounds newsworthy. i’ll call local news. 

luz: i’ll see you soon silly

Amity was smiling like an idiot at her phone as she made her way out of her room and to the kitchen to find her sister. She didn’t want to be here anymore, and it was already past midnight, plus she promised Luz she’d be home soon. She totally just wanted to make sure that her roommate wasn’t worried about her, not that she wanted to go see her.

“Hey, Em.. can you take me home?” She slurred, patting on her shoulder. 

“Yeah, Viney is on the couch, very drunk. So I think we are ready to leave too,” She chuckled, grabbing her keys and leading her to Viney. “Babe, wanna go home?”

“Only if you kiss me goodnight,” Viney swooned back, standing up and swaying into Emira. 

“I’ll even tuck you in, hotstuff,” She smiled back at her, as she half-carried her out to the car. 

Amity smiled at the interaction, wondering how her sister had made it look so easy. All she wanted was a relationship like that, sweet and wholesome. But how she was going to get there and with who was not something she knew in the slightest. 

The ride home consisted of Amity waving her hand out the window as she periodically reread her texts with Luz. She was giddy about the conversation, and was honestly excited to see her even if she was drunk. They walked(and swayed a bit) inside and down their hallway, the other two flirting with each other. Emira helped Viney unlock her room and smiled back at Amity as she headed to her own.

“You gonna be okay, Am?”

“I’ll be fine, my roommate’s home,” she smiled down at her door.

“Okay, let me know if you need anything. Love you!”

“Love you too,” she giggled as Emira helped her girlfriend into the room that was down the hall.

Amity struggled entirely to get her key in the door to her dorm. However, she was more than excited to see Luz on the other side soon. 

Then she realized that she was bound to make a fool out of herself in her state and started to get anxious. She’d admit her feelings to her or do some other dumb thing that would make Luz want to stay far away from her. Either way, this damn door was not opening as she continued to struggle. 

“Come on you little shit—“ she stuttered under her breath, desperately trying to focus on the keyhole harder so she could do it. Finally the door opened, she wasn’t sure how she did it, but she still felt victorious. She looked down at her keys like they were the secrets of the universe, “I did it!”

“No.. I did,” Luz chuckled standing in the doorway, scaring Amity, “You have been fumbling with the door for the past few minutes so I just opened it for you.”

“Oh… Hi Luz,” she giggled, coming inside of their dorm, empty cup in hand. 

“Amity.. You look.. Well angelic, but also just… um really cute,”  Luz blushed at her, quickly changing the subject and turning to close the door. “Are you doing okay?” 

“What do you mean? I’m great,” she said back, acting offended. 

“Yes, you are,” she laughed back at her.

“Well, Luz, that's because I'm just a tad bit drunk as you already know” she whispered at the end, still giggling at herself. 

“This is your first time being drunk, isn’t it?” 

“Pssssshh, do you think I’m that sheltered?” Amity scoffed again.

“Well, no you just—“

“Because I was, and yes. This is my first time being drunk. How am I doing?” 

“I don’t know, Amity, how are you doing?” Luz giggled a little, still concerned as she watched Amity wander around the small room. 

“Not sure, are things supposed to be a little bit fuzzy if you look at them too quickly?” She turned to look at Luz, with an overly dramatic look of confusion on her face. 

“No, they aren’t, but I know how to make that stop,” Luz laughed walking closer to her.

“Yeah, okay, I don’t like this feeling,” she answered as Luz started to walk over to their mini fridge to retrieve water for her, “I was having so much fun at the party, I didn’t feel all dizzy then, what’s that about?”

“It might just have caught up with you, sometimes whenever you get home and don’t have the adrenaline is when you realize just how drunk you are. How much did you drink?”

“Oof… well, Boscha made me something called a screwdriver? I don’t know but we had to get orange juice out of the vending machines. It tasted like orange juice mixed like hand sanitizer, it wasn’t good but Boscha said it wasn’t supposed to be but it would get me drunk and less anxious about the party. And then, we went there, I finished my drink, and my brother was there, and I took two shots with him—“ she kept telling Luz about the night, slurring a few of the words and hiccuping a few times as well, but she never noticed that Luz had taken her empty cup out of her hands and replaced it with a water bottle. And of course, she started drinking it. 

“Wow, that seems like a lot. Did you feel less anxious at the party like you thought you would after a drink?” Luz chuckled, sitting down on her bed. 

“Yes.. Well, no. I was a little more anxious because I could barely control my words or actions. But also I was having fun, and Ed and Em always make me calm down. They’re family, ya know? They had to go through the same shit show of our childhood so like they’re like the people I trust most in the world,” she said, still standing and slightly pacing in the room, Luz assumed she was trying to keep herself upright this way. 

“Why don’t you sit down? You just need to ground yourself and you should be fine, also drink the water,” Luz said, trying to calm her down, putting her hand on Amity’s arms to grab her attention.

“But.. our desk chairs are covered in dirty laundry.. I should do laundry, or WE should! Come on, it’ll be fun! Creepy basement, warm blankets out of the dryer, all that stuff!! OR we can get some freezee drink thingys, ya know you owe me one,” Amity grabbed Luz’s hands trying to pull her up to convince her to do something with her. She just wanted to actually be close with Luz, not be infatuated with her from afar.

“We should, but we can do that tomorrow, okay? I’ll buy you a blue slushie and I won’t make you drop it this time, I promise. But for now, just sit on my bed. Come here, silly,” she said as she scooted over allowing her some space. 

Amity sat down and took a breath and kept her eyes wide, trying to get a grip on reality, “Luz, the rooms spinning a little again.”

“Okay, well then like I said let’s ground you. Talk to me about your classes!”

“UGHHHH no, that’s what we always talk about and I always lie because I don’t wanna bore you. Truth is, I HATE my classes. They’re so dull! And I’m sure that for the other business majors that actually wanna be there that they enjoy them or whatever, but I can’t stand them. Also every time you try to talk to anyone they seem to be like.. short with you? Like they’re too good for small talk and socializing? They’re all business,” She groaned, and hoped that maybe the same joke would land, despite it being the second time she’s used it. 

“That was a good pun,” Luz giggled. 

“RIGHT? I said it to Boscha and she said it was low hanging fruit,” she frowned. 

“Some of the most obvious jokes are the funniest. I’ll always laugh at those kinds of jokes, so don’t worry. But why do you stay in those classes if you hate them so much?”

“My mom forced me into this major so I could ‘take over the family business’ or whatever,” she sighed. 

“What’s the family business?” Luz asked, continuing to try to sober her up by making her talk about things she already knows. 

“I’ll be so honest, I have no idea. Well, I think it’s like manufacturing, like for military parts or something. And that makes me hate it even more, on top of it taking up all of my Dad’s time. I miss him, he used to be so sweet and in our lives and suddenly one day he just started caring more about his job. I’m sure my mom pushed him because money speaks louder than caring for your kids, she’s all too familiar with neglecting her children. God I can’t stand her, Luz. She’s the worst, I hope you never have to meet her… oh my god I’ve never opened up to anyone like that, I’m so sorry i’m just trauma dumping, I don’t even know what prompted me to not shut up, I could have just said—“ Luz grabbed her hand to cut her off. 

“I don’t mind, Am. Not at all, you can always talk to me. I’m happy you felt like you could to begin with,” she smiled at her. 

If Amity was being honest with herself, the burst of honesty was probably more to do with it being Luz and less to do with the vodka in her system. Luz continued to smile at her until Amity came to a little bit more and looked down at their hands being intertwined. 

“Sorry,” Luz started to pull her hand away, and Amity could have sworn she saw her blush but maybe that was just the drunken haze. 

“No, it’s okay, it helps. I think it made me snap out of it a little more,” she said, squeezing her hand back. She was using her temporary confidence to her advantage for a minute. Luz smiled a little more, and looked back up at her, deciding to continue to sober her up. 

“So, what is that you actually wanna do? Like if you could change your major,” she said, and if Luz was also being honest with herself, she’d admit that she was excited to get to know the green haired girl that sleeps above her. 

“I'd wanna be a teacher. I love kids, I used to volunteer at daycares back in my hometown, and I loved every minute. And I grew up loving to draw and paint and even those stupid little macaroni crafts,” she chuckled, “so i’d teach them art. Hopefully giving them the same comfort in it that I still have.” 

Luz smiled widely back, another thing they could talk about and relate about, “Ya know, I’m a visual art major, and I love it. My classes are so amazing, and the people are great, the professors are so helpful and understanding. I think you’d love it in that arts building.”

Amity smiled back, but she was never really sure if she had the guts to change her major. Let alone make it two with education. They just smiled at each other a bit, and she hoped that the blush rising on her cheeks was read as the alcohol just making her face red. However, the drunkenness still hung over her head and started to make her feel sick. If she vomited she would never live that down and the last thing she wants to do is embarrass herself more than she already has in front of Luz. 

“You wanna know something else?” Luz asked, changing the subject, “You talk in your sleep like a goofball.”

“NO I DON’T!! You’re lying!! Oh my god that's so embarrassing,” Amity was now full on blushing and had her head in her hands. 

“You do!! It’s usually just gibberish, but sometimes you’ll say random words too. It never makes sense but it always makes me giggle. It’s not a ton, you’ve kinda calmed down as you’ve settled more into the dorm but at the beginning it was consistent. But I didn't mind, I grew up next to a city so it’s not like it keeps me up. But yeah, you do,” she laughed. 

“Oh my god, I’m so sorry. I had NO idea! That’s so annoying oh my fucking GOD,” she was still so embarrassed and mumbling into her hands. 

Luz took her hands from her head so she could get her attention, “Nahhh, it’s sweet. Don’t stress.” 

They sat there for a bit. She was happy that she could finally make some kind of connection with Luz and be able to even joke around with her, and that Luz felt comfortable enough to tease her. That’s a good sign, right? Also she said that she was sweet… that’s also sweet. 

“You wanna know something?” Amity giggled, “The way you react to books. You are so excited about them like I am and so enthusiastic and I just think that’s sweet.”

“Oh?” Luz smiled and looked down at her hands, “I was always told it was nerdy by my sister. But hey, once you read it you’ll be reacting the same way! I swear it’s like, insane. God it’s so good, I literally never stop thinking about it half the time. Ya know, it’s one of those books.”

“I told you it would be the next one I read! I promise the minute I am done, I am STEALING it from you,” Amity exclaimed.

“If you fully stole my book, I think I’d cry,” Luz pouted.

“I’m joking,” She nudged her with her shoulder, happy that they got to be this close to one another twice in the past 2 days, “Besides we live together it’s not like I can actually steal anything. Where would I hide it?”

“I guess that’s true, but I’m serious. Don’t. Steal. My. Book.” She jokingly pointed at her. 

Amity laughed back at her. Her cheeks were hurting from how much she was smiling at Luz, and she truly didn’t want to break the moment. She was starting to feel a lot more grounded like Luz had promised her, and felt warm to know that she had been the one to ground her. 

“I think I’m gonna change, I feel a lot better, thank you. I still feel a little sick, but a headache is starting to come on, so maybe that means it’s catching up with me more,” she laughed a little, getting up to pick out some sweatpants from her drawer. But after rummaging through her drawers she couldn’t seem to find a shirt that was actually comfortable enough to sleep in. “Ah shit maybe we should have actually done some laundry…”

“Well if you need a t-shirt that’s pretty much all I wear, I have plenty. You can borrow one of mine, it’s not like you’d steal it considering we live together,” she mocked, getting up and getting one from the dresser beside Amity. She picked out one with a Good Witch Azura graphic on it; she had noted that Amity had some mementos from the same book. 

“Alright, this is one of my favorites, and comfiest,” she said as she held it out to show it to her. 

“Oh, so are we gonna finally talk about how we both love that book? Because I noticed your comics when I moved in, and was very excited to be able to finally talk to someone about it,” Amity mentioned, some of her speech still being slightly slurred, but definitely more coherent then when she walked in the door. 

“Anytime you wanna talk about it, I’m down. But I’ll warn you, I will never shut up about it. And if you don’t ship Hecazura I might never talk to you again.”

“Nothing to worry about there, I think it’s one of the best written enemies to lovers trope out there,” Amity said, while taking the shirt from Luz’s hands and heading to their shared bathroom to finally change.

“YOU GET IT!!” Luz exclaimed as she started to close the door behind her. 

Amity chuckled a little bit and had a hard time trying to think of anything else but the interaction that had just happened for the past half hour. However it started to come to her attention that she had no idea how she was going to get out of the contraption that Boscha put her in to match her.  She looked in the mirror and realized her eyes were very dilated, and had no idea whether that was because of Luz or the party. Or maybe even thinking about Boscha, she still wasn’t sure if she actually had feelings for her or just like the attention she got from the now obvious flirting. She knows that’s sort of selfish of her to admit, but at this point she wasn’t sure of anything when it came to Boscha. Either way she was surprised by how much being drunk was affecting her appearance. 

She finally had figured out a way out of the top, took off the skirt and changed into the sweats and shirt that was a bit oversized, but she liked it. She then realized that it smelled like Luz, which smelled like home to her. Not the Blight mansion, but her real home, in this dorm. She smiled and blushed a little, she really needed to get that under control. She realized her makeup was still on and grabbed the makeup wipes and walked out of the bathroom and folded the clothes and gave herself a mental note to return them to Boscha. 

Luz was already laying down, playing on her phone. She had turned the lights out but kept the string lights that hung around the room on, making the dorm seem warmer and safer. She started to take off her makeup, but loudly groaned when she realized she had on false eyelashes. She definitely didn’t have enough coordination to take those off without ripping off her own, not to mention she hated putting her fingers that close to her own eyeballs. 

“What’s up? Also... the shirt’s cute on you,” Luz said, sitting up on her elbows. She thinks her shirt is cute on me.. noted. 

“Thanks..” she blushed, “I just have these damn eyelashes on and I hate taking them off, I shouldn’t have let Boscha put them on me..”

“Oooo! I love taking those things off, they’re so satisfying. I rarely put them on because I cannot do any kind of makeup on myself, but when I do it’s so fun… do you want me to help you take them off?”

“Um.. sure,” Amity agreed, plopping down next to Luz on her bed. She didn’t like the idea of anyone’s hands being that close to her eyes, she even did her own eye makeup with Boscha. But she trusted Luz more than she thought she would.

Luz concentrated while she meticulously pinched the eyelashes to take them off of her, sticking her tongue out a bit. Amity stared back at her in awe, having a reason to be able to gawk at her roommate. She was entirely too cute and even her concentrated face was making Amity blush. 

“And… There! Hey, why don’t we put these on the wall, it’ll be funny! We can even draw a pair of lips to tape under them,” Luz giggled at her own suggestion, putting them up next to their bunkbed. 

Amity started to wipe off the rest of her makeup, as Luz sat down at her desk and pulled out a piece of paper to presumably draw said lips. She was smiling over at her, she was so goofy but it was so.. Well, sweet.

“There!” She said as she taped it up on the wall, laughing as she did. Amity looked up and laughed too.

“That is gonna be so scary whenever we wake up in the middle of the night,” she giggled. 

“Or it’ll make us laugh randomly. Either is acceptable in my book.” Luz looked proudly at her work. She finally looked over at Amity who had finished taking off her makeup. “Wait, you missed some glitter, let me help.”

She took the makeup wipe from Amity’s hand and bent down to gently wipe the remainder off her cheek. She was indefinitely blushing at this point. She finished and threw the wipe away and joined Amity on her bed. Amity looked up at her own and sighed.

“I am gonna slam my head on the ceiling once I get up there, I just know it. That ceiling hates me, and I am still tipsy,” she laughed, starting to get up and make her way to the end of the bed frame to climb up. She was stopped when Luz grabbed her hand. 

“Wait, just sleep in my bed,” Luz said like it was obvious. 

“With.. with you?” Amity blushed, but she wasn’t gonna lie to herself and say she didn’t like the thought of a pretty girl sleeping next to her. 

“No, silly, I’ll just sleep in your bed. We’d have to basically be spooning to fit in this twin together,” she laughed a little back at her, “and you’d have to buy me dinner first.” 

“Right, sorry. Maybe my brain is still drunk,” Amity joked back, hoping that it didn't seem obvious that there was a glimpse of hope that she’d say yes. 

“Yeah it seems like it, ‘sleep in the same bed’, that’d be.. weird.. right?” Luz asked but quietly, more like she was asking herself, but Amity still answered. 

“Ha, yeah.. right.” 

Luz got up and Amity sat down on her bed, ready to just sleep off the alcohol. Luz watched Amity start to lay in her own bed before she caught herself staring and walked into the bathroom. She came back out with the small trash can they had in there. 

“This is for you, I just– I know laying down when you're drunk can make the room feel like it’s spinning even more, so if you need it it’s right beside the bed,” she put it down, and walked to the side of the bed to start climbing. Amity felt her flop down on her bed above her, and just kind of stared at it knowing that Luz couldn’t see her. 

She then turned to the side and got more comfortable. Just as she was falling asleep, she heard Luz speak softly, “Amity?”

“Yeah?”

“Goodnight, bug.”

And with that, Amity smiled at the nickname she called her, and pulled up Luz’s giant blanket more to comfort her. What she wouldn’t do is tell Luz that she fell asleep thinking of how excited she was to spend the day with her tomorrow. She even made laundry exciting. 

Chapter Text

It was a little after noon when Amity started to slip away from her dreams and into reality with a small headache. She wagers whether or not she should open her eyes at all, considering she feels as if she needs about twelve more hours of sleep. She starts to pull up her blanket to shield her from the light seeping into the room when she realizes that it isn’t her blanket, or her pillow, or her bed. At first she was startled by the realization until she remembers exactly where she is and her heart starts to warm as much as her cheeks do, and soon after the memories of the night follow into her mind and the reason why she’s in Luz’s bed. She quickly sits up and is immediately met with her headache getting worse as the light hits her eyes, and groans. 

“Oh, look who’s finally awake!!! Are you feeling okay, sleepyhead?” Luz chuckles from her desk as she turns to face her. 

Amity looks over at her, squinting, still slightly asleep and slightly confused as the events of the night keep rushing back to her. She knows exactly what happened even if she hoped that the alcohol would have stolen her memories. She groans again, plopping back down with her hands on her face. 

“Alright, I think that’s my answer,” Luz says, coming over to sit on the bed next to her, “Well, I have water and some medicine to get rid of any hangover you might have if that helps?”

Amity moves her fingers so she can see Luz, who was smiling and offering them both to her off the bedside table. She smiles back at her and sits back up to meet her in the middle.

“Thank you,” She says as she takes them, “And I’m sorry that you had to see me drunk and also had to take care of me.”

“Are you kidding? I learned more about you in an hour while you were drunk than I did in 2 months while you were sober. I’d count that as a win,” Luz assures her. 

“Oh my god, I am so sorry I just blurted out all that shit about my family and my life I just didn’t have a filter–”

“Hey,” Luz puts her hand on her shoulder, “Like I said, I don’t mind. I’m happy that you felt comfortable enough to tell me all those things. Now, I promised you a day of chores and slushies so come on!”

Amity smiles back at her and pulls her legs over the edge of the bed to sit next to her. Her headache is still pounding away, so she had to refocus her eyes for a moment from the quick motion. She watches as Luz gets up and holds her hands out to her to help her up, and she didn’t really need any help, but who was she to refuse the sweet gesture or not take a chance to hold Luz’s hands?

They get up, and look at each other for a moment. Amity loses all train of thought like she does whenever she is this close to her before Luz breaks the moment by clearing her throat and quickly turning away to her desk. 

“Um– So! Laundry! Right, so I actually ran out of detergent and I realized that this morning but I didn’t want to go to the store without you in case you needed it too. So that’s our first stop!” Luz prompts, turning back to Amity at the end of her statement who is still standing in slight awe from the moment before and if she moved too quickly her headache would betray her. She also knows that she has plenty of laundry detergent in her closet because she is always overly prepared, but she doesn’t want to pass up on an opportunity to spend time with Luz.

“I… actually think I ran out too..” She lies, but of course, she is a terrible liar. Luz doesn’t seem to pick up on it though, so she pushes the lie further, “And um.. I’m not sure if I have any other clean shirts so I may need to wear yours today?”

“Fine,” Luz rolls her eyes playfully, “But if you think you are making a habit out of stealing my clothes Miss Blight then you are wrong.”

“I’ll make sure this is the first and last time, thank you for your service,” she graciously says to Luz who giggles at her. She secretly hopes that this is just the first of many, so maybe she isn’t the worst liar ever. 

“Well I think I am just gonna go in my sweatpants and a hoodie if you wanna be lazy with me?”

“You read my mind.”

They both start to put on a pair of shoes and Amity throws on a cardigan before Luz grabs her keys and they head out of their room. Amity thanks the Gods above that there is an exit right next to it that they don’t have to walk past Boscha’s door, but dreads coming back when they have to enter the building from a different one. She’s not ready for any conversation with her yet because she still hasn’t even fully digested what was indirectly confessed to her. 

They get into Luz’s car which was slightly messy, but Amity didn’t mind at all considering her car was somewhat worse. Luz also had a montage of bumper stickers on the back of it that Amity slightly envied since her parents told her she wouldn’t be allowed to have any. They bought it for her, so she had no room to argue with them either. Luz starts to play multiple genres of music in order to find one they both listen to, and they spend the ride mostly silent but humming lyrics every now and again. 

They arrive at the grocery store, and right as Amity unbuckles her seatbelt Luz swings her door open and grabs her hand to pull her out and slam the door behind her. They rush into the grocery store, Amity stumbling a little and confused as to the random burst of energy from her roommate but not being able to actually think about anything other than her hand in Luz’s. 

Once they get inside, Luz doesn’t seem to let go of her hand as she drags her through the store. They are both giggling, neither of them not exactly sure why they are but unable to stop themselves. Amity’s headache was already almost gone, but the sight of Luz’s smile has made it vanish completely. 

“We can get the actual thing we came for later, but first I wanted to show you these stuffed animals that Gus and I found one night at 2 AM!” Luz says, still pulling her across the store. 

Amity just agrees, not complaining about getting to spend time with her, or procrastinating chores. They walk down the toy aisle, Luz getting distracted by just about everything before they continue on to the stuffed animal section. 

“We both got one, and got one for Willow, so I think you should get one too! We can all match and also they are so soft,” Luz drags out the last word as she picks up a white cat off the shelf and hugs it, “This one reminded me of you when we were first here but I wasn’t sure if you were gonna think it was childish…”

Amity smiles at her, then steals the cat from Luz who pouts at her as she hugs it herself, “I will never be too old for stuffed animals. And you’re right, this is definitely my favorite.”

“Well then it’s settled, I’m buying it for you,” Luz says as she steals it back from her, “And don’t even try to tell me I’m not, because I owe you more than a slushie after the mess I made when we first met.”

“Fine,” Amity puffs out, she would normally deny that anyone buys her anything, but the thought of a gift from Luz makes her heart race. “I’m still expecting a replacement slushie, though.”

“I will not disappoint you then, bug,” Luz takes her hand again and starts back towards the middle of the store as Amity blushes behind her. Bug. She hates bugs, but somehow being called it by Luz as a nickname makes her heart melt. 

They spend the next hour in the store, goofing off to no end, and ignoring their responsibilities at their dorm. Ignoring responsibilities always made Amity anxious, but somehow with Luz she didn’t have much else on her mind than picking out random decorations for their dorm, trying on sunglasses, and picking out overly expensive journals with nice pens. They finally made their way to the aisle with the detergent and still spent time smelling them to find the perfect one. They decided to just buy one to share, Amity knew this was probably not smart since they would go through it twice as quickly but the thought of taking more trips to the store with Luz made her override practicality. 

They finally checked out after becoming well acquainted with damn near every aisle in that store, and their cheeks and stomachs hurting from laughing with each other too much. Once they finally get out to the car, they pack it with more bags than they intended, and set back to the dorm. This time not even remembering to turn on music since talking just came so easily to them now, the nerves of their first official time ‘hanging out’ completely gone. 

“Ya know, we should go back for those sunglasses, I think you should unironically wear them to every class. The other business majors won’t be able to comprehend anyone out of the ordinary,” Luz laughs at her as they walk back through their dorm building. Amity giggles back to her, turning to walk backwards as they enter their hall to narrow her eyes back to her. 

“Yeah, well then we should get you that ridiculous hat to wear–” She stops as she runs into someone behind her.

“Watch it– Oh, Amity.. I was just coming to talk to you..” The voice says. 

Amity turns around, immediately realizing it’s Boscha. For the past hour she had completely forgotten about everything that happened. She let herself have tunnel vision on Luz, and didn't even give a single worrying thought about what she was going to say to Boscha.

“Oh, Boscha. Hey..” Amity says wide-eyed. 

“Hey.. I was worried when I couldn’t find you last night at the party but Gus said you had left with your sister.. So I’m happy you got home safe,” Boscha smiles awkwardly. She looks over at Luz, and waves at her slightly. 

“Yeah.. sorry about that.. Emira wanted me to help her get Viney back,” Amity lies, maybe she wasn’t the best liar but a white lie was better than telling Boscha in front of Luz ‘ Sorry! You admitted your crush on me and all I could think about was Luz and felt awkward so I got the hell out of there!’

“Oh, okay. Can we–” Boscha looks back over at Luz, and then leans closer to Amity, “Can we go talk somewhere? About.. The game.. And what was said.. I just feel like we didn’t get to talk..”

“Um.. I.. I have to do some laundry that I have been putting off for weeks and I promised Luz that we would do it together, so maybe after?” Amity definitely knew that Luz wouldn’t have minded to wait but Amity would have. She had not gathered her thoughts on the sore subject of ‘the game’ and needed to plan out what she needed to say.

“Yeah.. okay. Just um, text me, A.” Boscha looked on the floor, and slipped away back to her door. Once the door closed, Amity let out a breath she didn’t even know she was holding. 

“Hey.. are you okay?” Luz came up behind her, holding a hand on her back and looked down at her with concerned eyes. 

“Yeah, I’m fine. A lot more happened at that party than I told you.. I just don’t know how to.. Can we just go back to our room?” Amity met her eyes.

“Of course, we got decorations to put up and spin cycles to start,” Luz smiled, taking her empty hand and softly pulling them down the hall to their room. She unlocked the door and walked in looking back at Amity to give her a comforting smile. 

“Do you.. Want to talk about it.. Or..?” Luz offered, setting the bags down and taking Amity’s from her hands and doing the same. 

“Can we just start the laundry? I just need to think about anything else right now.” Amity responded, not making eye contact and starting to gather up their laundry. 

“That we can do.”

_______________________________

After starting their first load of laundry, they wander around the halls of the basement, curious and slightly terrified. It was no secret that this place was a hospital before it was dorms for their university, but it was always something that freshman hoped was just a wisetale that upperclassmen tell them. The locked rooms at the of each hallway with windows that you could peer through that seemed to have abandoned gurneies and such beyond them said otherwise.

“Do you think this place is haunted.. Like people had to have died here, so there’s no way it’s not..” Amity questions as she holds one eye to a hole in the wall. 

"Don’t tell me Amity Blight is scared of a few ghosts,” Luz laughs, wandering towards another abandoned hallway that was somehow unlocked. “Come on, there has to be some cool stuff here somewhere!”

“Luz, I don’t know if we are supposed to be over here–” She’s cut off but Luz grabbing her hand and dragging her down said hallway. 

“See, nothing too crazy. Just another abandoned hallway,” Luz shrugs, “The creepiest thing is that flickering light and the dust on the ground.”

“The flickering light is enough to make me feel like this place is out of bounds to students,” Amity laughs, curiously looking around the hallway. 

“Please, it probably just hasn’t been changed since Hexside bought it. There’s nothing scary, and if there is I’ll keep you safe,” Luz smiled back at her sending Amity spiraling, but she kept her composure besides her tell tale blush. “Now are we gonna talk about what happened at that party last night that made you so weird earlier, or…?”

“Right.. That..” Amity laughed. Here she was in an abandoned creepy hallway and still the scariest thing for her is to face the events of last night. 

“We don’t have to if you don’t want to, but I also get the feeling your a ‘talk through my feelings’ kind of gal,” Luz slides down the wall at the end of the hallway and pats to the space right next to her, “Step into my office.” 

Amity hesitated before she sighed and made her way over to Luz, sliding down next to her. She didn’t even know where to start, let alone get around telling her the mess between her and Boscha without admitting the fact that she also did say she had a crush on someone else. And Gus knows who. 

“Long story short: you were right about Boscha,” Well, that sums it up pretty nicely.  

“Oh shit.. So she does like you?” Luz asked, sitting up to look at Amity who looked like she was trying to melt into the wall.

“Yeah.. We were playing a game and someone asked her who she liked and well she wasn’t exactly subtle. She didn’t directly say me, but it seemed like everyone in the room knew something I didn’t.. So it’s not like she fully admitted it, but it was obvious. I feel so stupid, Luz.” She complained, bringing her knees to her chest and her hands to her face.

“Hey, it’s okay! I promise it’s not the end of the world to find out someone has a crush on you,” Luz laughed, gently removing her hands from her face. “And you’re not stupid, maybe a little oblivious, but definitely not stupid.”

Amity laughed back, nudging her shoulder into Luz’s in retaliation. She tried her hardest not to focus on Luz’s hands on hers, and instead tried to zero in on the conversation they were having. 

“What do I even say to her now? I basically ditched her at the party to come back because I didn’t know what to say, and it’s not like I can avoid her.”

“No, you can’t. And you shouldn’t, you gotta just tell her you don’t feel the same. It might not exactly save your friendship, but it’s better than possibly leading her on,” Luz smiled at her, squeezing her hand.

“I know, you’re right. But it’s Boscha.. She doesn’t exactly know how to react to anything reasonably,” Amity chuckled.

“Then… you do it somewhere close. That way if it gets to be overwhelming then you can come back to our room and lock the door and we’ll watch ‘The Good Witch Azura’ movies until you aren’t thinking about it anymore… This isn’t your fault, you know. It’s not hers either, but she also did decide to cross a boundary that had the possible consequence of ending your friendship, so it’s not your fault for deciding that it wasn’t a boundary you wanted to be pushed.” 

Luz was right, and Amity knew that. Amity knew all about questioning a boundary in a friendship, because her own possible consequence was sitting right in front of her, holding her hand and giving her a comforting smile. 

“Now, I think you are owed a slushie, so let's leave this creepy ass hallway and go get them,” Luz pushed herself off the floor and offered her hand again to Amity. 

“So you admit it! It is creepy!” Amity exclaimed, taking her hand. 

“Maybe. But with you around, Bug, it’s not so scary.”

Amity couldn’t contain her slight panic at the fondness that Luz had shown her both verbally and nonverbally. But she followed her out to the exit in the basement anyways and walked around the perimeter of the building to the crosswalk that led to the Seven Eleven. 

“I’m going to assume you want Blue?” Luz joked as she looked both ways and darted across the street.

“LUZ! You can’t jaywalk!” Amity yelled at her, looking around the street.

“Says who? There aren’t any cars coming? Come on, Amity! Break a few rules every now and again!” She encouraged back to her. 

Amity bit her lip, she knew it wasn’t that big of a deal when there weren't any cars coming, but she still felt the need to follow the rules even if no one was there to see it. Regardless, seeing Luz there, holding her arms out as if she was going to catch her on the other side was all the encouragement she needed to run across.

She grabbed onto Luz, laughing as she did, and headed inside with her. They got their snacks, Luz catering to Amity and making sure to get her the largest size possible. They check out and walk out to sit on the curb.

“Now that I’m thinking about it, I kinda don’t blame Boscha for getting a crush on you,” Luz teased, leaning back on the curb and pushing her leg out. 

“Oh?” Amity choked on her drink, looking back at her amused but hopeful.

“I mean, yeah. I’ve been in her shoes,” Luz shrugged. 

Oh?

“Luz, if this is you trying to tell me you have a crush on me, it’s not exactly the best time considering the past 24 hours,” Amity joked, trying her best to keep her cool. 

“That’s not what I’m saying, silly,” Luz pushed her shoulder.

Oh..

“What I mean is that I had a best friend in high school, Clara, and I didn’t realize that I had a crush on her until graduation. We were going to different schools and the thought of it ate me alive. I thought it was just because I wasn’t ready to not have her as my best friend, but we went to this party after graduation and we were alone on this guy’s deck and.. well we were drunk.. and she looked over at me and I realized it was so much more. I didn’t tell her because we were leaving for different schools in a few months anyways, and I didn’t want to ruin what little time we had left, ya know? But I guess that’s why I think you should just tell Boscha now.” Luz shrugged again, but avoided eye contact. 

Amity blinked back at her, not sure of how to respond to the confession. The first thing she registers is that Luz is queer, but she pushes that to the back of her mind in order to actually respond.

“Oh. I’m sorry, I guess that wasn’t that long ago.. Are you okay?” She stumbled out.

“Yeah, I’m fine. It was long enough ago that I figured out that she didn’t ever really feel the same about me or else she would have said or done something. I still talk to her occasionally, but I think it was just one of those friendships where you don’t realize it’s more than that until it’s too late. But hey, you told me all about yourself last night so I guess you deserve some ‘Luz Lore’ too,” She laughed, looking back at Amity. 

“You got plenty of ‘Amity Lore’ last night, so I am more than happy to learn about yours,” She joked back. This time, she took the lead and got up and grabbed Luz’s hand to head back to the basement to switch their laundry out. 

“I think there’s something in these damn slushies, they make me so cathartic,” Luz chuckled as they crossed the street. 

“Me too,” Amity giggled back, “I certainly don’t feel as anxious anymore.”

_______________________

After their laundry was finally done and after way too many shenanigans in the basement, they headed back to their dorm in agreement that they would find a Youtube series to watch together while they folded their laundry. They settle themselves on the now cleaner floor of the room and set up Luz’s laptop to begin whatever series they both found interesting, making jokes the whole time while folding. 

By the time there are multiple stacks of folded clothes that resemble a makeshift fort in their room, they are leaning against the bed, sharing Luz’s freshly cleaned giant blanket. It was only Saturday night, and even though Amity knew there had to be something ‘more exciting’ happening somewhere that the girls would have probably dragged her to by now, she couldn’t imagine being as content as she is here, right now. 

They weren’t necessarily cuddling, but Amity still had butterflies in her stomach from being so close to her roommate. However, their previous conversation was nagging at her thoughts. This boundary that Amity may or may not have already left in the distance was making her feel guilty. She had no intentions on telling Luz about it, because as she had learned, Luz has already had her heart broken by it. This line was crossed by Luz with someone else, and the same line had burned Amity with Boscha. There was no way that it could do any good between Amity and Luz now, even if the boundary was a different one with different people. It was too risky. She couldn’t handle losing someone at the hands of it again, even if they weren’t as close as the other examples. Luz doesn’t deserve it either. 

Amity was still spiraling in her thoughts when her phone buzzed beside her. 

bosh: Hey.. can we talk now? I’m in the den. 

She took a sharp breath in and tensed her body, and Luz looked at her phone without a hesitation to see what she was reacting to. 

“You gonna be okay?” She asked with concerned eyes.

“You’ll be here to distract me if I’m not?” Amity questioned back.

“Always.”

She smiled back at Luz with gratitude as she took a deep breath and dragged herself out of the comfort of their dorm and into the hallway. She still had no idea what she was going to say, but she was prepared to at least face Boscha. She stuck her head in to see her, alone, looking out the window and tapping her side anxiously. 

“Hey.. you..” Amity startled her out of her daze.

“Hey… So you and Luz seemed to be getting close.” Boscha sat down on the couch, and Amity took that as an invitation to sit next to her. 

“Yeah, she’s pretty great when you get to know her,” Amity smiled.

“Yeah… so, um– Look. I don’t really know what to say right now, but I do know what was said and I just.. I’m sorry,” Boscha started, her voice breaking a little at the end. Amity wasn’t exactly sure how to react, she had never seen her friend this vulnerable. 

“It’s.. it’s okay,” She chirped out, putting a hand on her back to comfort her. 

“You.. you left. You didn’t even tell me you were leaving, and you didn’t actually talk to me after.. Ya know. I don’t know how to read your mind like I say I do, A. Please just– just talk to me,” She pleaded. 

“I–” Amity had no idea what to say, she held her breath as she thought, “I’m sorry..”

“You.. you don’t feel the same. I get it. I should just go, I wish you would have just told me..” Boscha got up, and started to leave the room.

“Bosh, wait–”

“No, Amity. This isn’t fair to me, and you know it. I shouldn’t have done what I did, I should have told you directly, and I’m sorry for that. But I can’t–” Her voice was still shaking as she looked back at Amity, “I need some space. I’m sorry. Whoever it is you do have a crush on, you should tell. But I don’t need to stay where I’m not wanted.”

Amity couldn’t get out another word before Boscha rushed out of the room and back to her dorm. She was still frozen in place, not sure of how to feel. It had all happened a lot more quickly than she thought it would, but somehow that made it more excruciating. On one hand, she was relieved that she didn’t have to actually use the words, on the other she just broke her best friend’s heart. She drove away the first friend she made here, and truly the only person she has been that close to. She sighed and stood up, tears starting to fall to her face as she rushed back inside her dorm. 

“Hey, how did it–” Luz stopped the moment she saw Amity, arms wrapped around herself and eyes glistening. 

“I broke her heart, Luz. I broke my best friend’s heart..” She whispered, still looking at the ground. 

“Don’t say that, bug. Come here,” Luz motioned to her, inviting her onto the bed and under the blanket they had just been sharing. 

Amity nearly fell into the bed, and into Luz’s arms that comforted her. She held herself back from sobbing, but her heart was aching. Even if she didn’t feel the same about Boscha, even if it was Boscha’s fault for deciding to cross the line they never agreed to cross together, it still felt like she had been the one to make everything fall around her.

“What happened?” Luz asked, lifting her head a bit from atop of Amity’s to look down at her, continuing to comfort her by drawing circles on her back. 

“She said.. She said that she needed space, and that I left her, and that it wasn’t fair to her.. I said I was sorry, but she’s right, I wasn’t fair to her–”

“Don’t say that, okay? Yes, it’s true that you hurt her, but you didn’t do it on purpose. You’re human, Amity. You are gonna hurt others sometimes, but what matters is that you aren’t doing it on purpose and that you are sorry when you do..” Luz said, pulling her back into a hug. 

“But.. but this isn’t just anybody, Luz. This is Boscha. She was my best friend…” She sniffled into Luz’s shoulder. 

“Shhhh, It’ll be okay, I promise. No matter what, you have me. And your brother and sister, and now Gus and Willow. We’ve got you, Amity,” Luz assured her, shifting Amity to the side so she was more or less cradling her. She set up her laptop in front of them, and pulled up the Azura movies, and pulled up the blanket on them and leaned back against her pillow. Luz grabbed the white cat she had just bought her and put it in Amity’s arms to hug.

Amity was still hurting, but somehow she also felt so grateful to have met Luz. Even if she was currently somewhat infatuated with her, Luz was so kind, compassionate, and gentle. They understood each other at lightspeed, and were already learning each other's tells and reading each other to figure out how to comfort each other. To Amity, it seemed like Luz was someone she had known all along, and meeting her again was just inevitable in their stories. It wasn’t like how it was with Boscha where they clicked, and got along and entertained each other. Luz had only spent one actual day with Amity and already knew exactly what to do to make her feel more safe. She knew exactly what to say too. 

“And I’ve got you too, bug.”

Chapter Text

Amity doesn’t remember when exactly she fell asleep, but she stirs slightly in the middle of the night finding herself still in Luz’s arms. The second movie in the series is midway through, so she decides to close the laptop and move it to their bedside table. She looks back at Luz with a fond smile, but she feels a twinge of guilt immediately when she becomes all too aware of just how un-platonic this is. That damn line is ringing in her mind like a constant siren, warning her to not continue the cycle. She slowly and gently begins to untangle herself from Luz and stands up to climb into her own bed, before she is stopped by a whimper and a hand on her wrist. 

“Wait, don’t go... you’re so warm…” Luz mumbled out, eyes still closed. Amity knows she is still partially asleep and chuckles quietly at her. And she says that I talk in my sleep. 

“Luz.. this bed is too small for the both of us, just go back to sleep..” She whispers, leaning down to her to tuck her in more and add a blanket from the end of the bed. 

“Not if we cuddle,” Luz smiles, making Amity’s heart skip a beat. Of course she wants to say yes, she wants to climb back in and curl up into a ball into Luz’s arms. She wants that more than she can possibly say, but she knows that Luz is still speaking from a loosely conscious state and a sap at heart even if it is just for a friend. And the siren is wailing in her mind. 

“Maybe another night, I won’t be too far. I promise,” Amity squeezes her hand and Luz hums back, melting back into her bed. 

Amity smiles down at her, and then hikes up their bed, using her desk for additional leverage. She quietly manages to settle into the bed, noticing that she is finally getting the hang of not giving herself a concussion every night. She curls up under her blanket and drifts off into the thought of her possibly sleeping through a night next to Luz. The line disappears as she falls asleep knowing that even if this is the only way she gets to think of a future with the girl she has a crush on, dreaming is something she will have to settle on. 

___________________

The next couple of weeks seem to make her feel like a walking corpse, falling back into the steady rhythm of hell. Her classes drag on, feeling like every minute that passes takes at least an hour. Her last class is always her favorite though, not because she likes it, but because it’s the end. She gets to go back to her dorm to find Luz up to whatever, and more often than not Willow and Gus are there too. 

Gus and Amity’s relationship has gotten somewhat.. Complicated. Gus knew of Amity’s secret, and he was the only one. With every moment that Luz teases her, or leans into her, or grabs her hand in excitement or for her attention, he gives her an all knowing look. She always greets the look with her own death stare, but she knows that Gus doesn’t find her the least bit intimidating. 

Whenever they are left alone by Willow and Luz wandering off for one reason or another, Gus attempts to drill into Amity about telling Luz. And on random Thursday when they wander into the arts building late at night, he starts again. 

“It’s only a matter of time before she finds out, you know,” Gus sing-songs to her quietly as Willow and Luz run off, hand-in-hand to sneak into one of the theaters. 

“Or, hear me out, she never finds out, I get over it, you forget about it, and no friendships go horribly wrong!” Amity glares back once she sees that both of them are out of sight and earshot. 

“But what if it doesn’t! What if it goes horribly right?” Gus stops mid hallway, “Amity I see the way she looks at you, the way she interacts with you. There’s a pretty good chance it wouldn’t end up being one-sided.”

“Gus,” she sighs, she cannot allow herself to get her hopes up, even if she wants to trust her impulses, “She interacts with Willow that way too, and you even. She loves her friends, and she shows it. And she has been through a friend-to-crush situation before, and it ended up breaking her heart. I just.. I can’t be the person that does that to her..” 

She’s looking off towards the theatre they ran into, her heart aching. She can’t be the one to hurt her again, she would do anything to make sure Luz never feels like that again. She sighs again, looking back at Gus.

“Look, if I knew that things would end ‘happily ever after’, I would have told her the minute she dumped that damn slushie. But I don’t, and you don’t. I can’t just rely on a whim here, Gus. She’s my roommate. If things go wrong..” She says, looking back towards the doors of the theater.

“I get it. I just–” He huffs, grabbing Amity’s hand to get her attention, “I want my best friends to be happy.”

Amity’s heart warms at the thought that Gus thinks of her as one of his best friends, and she knows the feeling is mutual. She smiles at him and pulls him into the theater with her to find Willow and Luz climbing the halfway built set reenacting the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet.

“Romeo O’ Romeo! Wherefore art thou Romeo!” Willow signs dramatically at the top of the balcony. 

“Uhhhh.. Call me but love.. Wait, no–” Luz scrambled out in a deep voice, acting as if she is climbing the set up to Willow.

“Come on, Luz! Didn’t you read this in high school? I thought everyone did!” Willow exclaims.

“As if I paid attention, why is Shakespeare so hard to understand, huh?” Luz huffs.

“Because Shakespeare’s plays were not meant to be read , they were meant to be seen,” Gus shouts from the house seats, walking up the stairs and onto the stage with them, “And you guys chose the most overdone scene of all! I find that offensive! Well that on top of climbing all over the set of my show.”

“Gus, you are playing a little boy named Crutchy . It’s not your anything.” Willow says, crossing her arms. 

“Hey! I’ll have you know my character is a key element to the story, and I can’t help that I have a baby face! Also I’m a freshman! Getting any role is impressive!” 

“Yeah, yeah. Get up here!” Willow laughs back. 

Amity can’t help but smile up at the friends she has made. There’s not any overwhelming sense of pettiness like the girls seemed to mostly have, and they just seemed happy. They made every chance they hung out together the best it could possibly be just by existing. They cared for each other, they wanted each other to be their best self and they pushed each other to do that. Hanging out with them was easy, it isn't draining. It was the exact opposite. Amity may feel drained entirely from her classes but every night she is with these three she feels rejuvenated. 

“You coming, bug?” Luz says, walking to the edge of the stage, bending down and offering a hand to her. 

Amity smiles back, she doesn’t have the guts to say that she would go anywhere with Luz at any moment, so instead she just smiles at her and takes her hand. They climb up the set to the other two who are teasing each other about anything and everything while Luz makes sure to help Amity up in any way she can, staying behind her to catch her if she falls. If only she knew it may be too late. 

They stay up there for hours that feel like minutes, eventually laying back to look at the grid above them. They talk about classes, hopes for the future, making new inside jokes that make them run out of breath laughing. This was one of many nights they had done something like this, sometimes they end up in the library, walking around campus and staring at the stars in the courtyard, running around the halls of their dorm. Amity and Luz kept their hallway a secret, they never communicated they would but it seemed to be understood that it was just for them. And even though this happens nearly every night, they never run out of things to talk about. Amity can’t help but think about what would have happened if she had met them earlier, before the girls, before Boscha. She doesn’t regret the friends she made first, but these ones were different. They were like family. 

“Where do you think we’ll be in three years? Do you think we’ll still be friends?” Gus asks as the night starts to feel like a fever dream out of all of their tiredness. 

“I doubt that anything can drag us apart, no matter how hard I try,” Willow laughs, earning a shove from Luz. “But seriously, we’ll be older, wiser, and probably exhausted from college, however I still think there is no way in hell we wouldn’t be. I mean we met during move-in and look at us now, it feels like I’ve known you all my whole life.”

“I guess you’re right. People drift apart, but I think we will always be close, even if life starts to make it harder to actually spend a ton of time together. My dad always said that there will be people you meet that will never leave your life, and I didn’t believe him until I met you all,” Gus half smiles, looking over at them all.

“Oh, now we are just getting sappy. We’ll be friends forever, blah blah blah,” Luz laughs getting shoved right back by Willow, “Fine! I’ll admit it, I love you all. And we will be sitting next to each other at graduation and probably crying, but until then we have three more years to fill up with memories. Let’s not get all sentimental now and save it till then!”

They continue to talk until the janitor graciously tells them to leave, but Amity is stuck in those words. Although she didn’t meet them on the first day, she knows that they mean the same for her. She doesn’t feel left out like she had before. She hopes and prays that she never loses them, and she isn’t willing to risk it for a crush that she can get over. Mind over matter, easy. 

On the walk back to their dorm, Luz slows down with Amity in hand, swinging their arms back and forth making them both laugh.

“You okay? You’ve been quiet,” Luz says after they calm down a little and there is some distance between them and the other two.

“Yeah! I think I am just soaking it all in, you know? I thought I found a good group of friends with the girls, and although I still care for all of them and still consider them my friends I just–” she smiles up at her and looks over to the two in front of them, “I don’t think I have ever felt this close to people. I just never want it to go away.”

“It won’t, not if I have anything to do with it. You all are my best friends, and I will do anything to make sure that never changes even if I have to force you all to at least one monthly hang out in two years,” Luz laughs, nudging her shoulder. 

“Yeah, we are best friends, aren’t we?” Amity asks, but more to herself than anything. Just friends.

“Well, I’d hope so or else I am holding all your hands wayyyy too often,” She squeezes her hand and pulls her to catch up with the other two. 

Amity thinks back on all their nights together, and Luz does mostly act this way around all her closest friends. She’s probably had the same sweet wholesome interactions with them too, comforts them when they are crying, and buys them things she thinks they’ll like. Amity can’t help but feel a twinge of jealousy at the thought that maybe their moments weren’t unique, but she quickly wipes that emotion out her head as best she can to replace it with relief. She knows the truth, she knows the probable outcome of her crossing that line, and she wouldn’t give up this for anything. She wouldn’t give up them for anything. She vows to herself right then and there in the early hours of the morning with her best friends by her side that she would not ruin this for some crush. 

It’s just some crush. 

______________________________________________

The semester is starting to kick all their asses as it comes to close, and they still spend most nights together even if it is them studying together in whatever building they find unlocked that night. Two weeks before finals was the opening of Gus’s show, so while he was preparing Willow, Luz, and Amity went to the store to get him flowers. 

“Willow, I feel like you would know best what to get with the whole horticulture major so tell us what to get,” Luz says as they look around at the bouquets surrounding them.

“Well, although I know Gus would love flowers, I think we should get him an actual plant so it lasts longer,” Willow heads over to the potted plant section, examining the ones nearby.

“You really think he’s capable of keeping a plant alive? It’s Gus.” Luz chuckles. 

“That’s why we get him a succulent! Like this one, it doesn’t need too much attention and if anything I will personally break into his room to water it. Also Matt seems like the person to secretly love taking care of plants,” Willow laughs. 

Amity examines the plants with them as Willow finds the perfect one for him, sputtering out facts about each. She can’t help but smile at her friend talking about something she is so passionate about, and nods and asks questions in order to support her, even if she barely understands what they are talking about. 

“Why don’t we get one, Amity? Between the two of us, we should be able to keep it alive,” Luz says, picking up one and cradling it in her hands. 

“I think we should, and besides Willow will always be there to break into our dorm too,” She teases Willow, looking down at the plant in Luz’s hands. 

Willow shoves her lightly and they buy a few pots since they are now leaving with four more than they anticipated. Most of which will be added to Willow’s collection, contributing to the ongoing theory between them that her room will eventually be taken over by plants. 

They used the show as an excuse to change out of their usual late night outfits of hoodies and sweatpants, and put on ‘fancier clothes’. Although Amity vowed to get over her crush on Luz, seeing her in a blazer, button up, and boots was making her stomach swarm with butterflies, so she tried to not stare as much as possible. 

She and Willow were both wearing dresses in their own fashion, but Amity refused to not wear a giant cardigan with hers. However she did curl her hair similarly to when she had for the Halloween party, remembering the reaction she had gotten out of Luz that night. Even if she needed to get over it, she still wanted to impress her. They got into Willows car to head back to campus, and since she allocated the passenger seat for the ‘safety of the plants’, Luz and Amity were sitting in the back together. 

“So, you’re sitting next to me right?” Luz asked her, “Because it’s either that or I get stuck next to the plants.”

“Happy to know my company is slightly better than plants,” Amity joked, “But yes, I would happily sit next to you Luz.”

“So when I have questions or fall asleep, I can lean on you, right?”

“What makes you think I’ll be able to answer any questions? You remember I’m a business major, right?” Amity laughs. 

“Yeah, but your brother is the lead, I’ll have questions too. So you’re sitting in the middle.” Willow said, looking back in the rearview mirror. 

“Fine, I may know a little bit about theatre because of the endless years of watching my brother. But don’t be disappointed if I am as confused as you all,” She shrugs. 

The campus is just a few minutes away since Hexside was a small town college rather than a state school, so it wasn’t long before they were pulling into a parking spot and heading inside. Willow only grabbed the plant they decided to give Gus, which she told them was a Jade plant. They had all already bought tickets online, so getting in was just a matter of getting them scanned at the door. The theatre was less vacant than during Macbeth, and this time were sitting closer than she had before. Amity can’t help but feel guilty as she remembers her last time here, and her meeting someone she ended up hurting. 

“Hey, what’s up?” Luz asks her as they sit down.

“Nothing, just... Reading the program,” Amity says, opening it up quickly to attempt to uphold her lie. 

“You forget that I know you pretty damn well, bug. Something’s wrong, talk to me.”

“Fine. The last time I was here, I met Boscha..” She sighs, looking back at the seats they once sat in. 

“Oh.. well, now you are here with us,” Luz grabs her hand.

“Yeah, we’ll make new memories,” Willow smiles, grabbing her other, and the action of them both quickly grounded her back to reality. 

“Thank you guys, it’s not really that big of a deal, sorry I’m being so dramatic,” She chuckles. 

“Hey, no minimizing. You’re not being dramatic, you are being human, okay?” Willow says, squeezing her hand. 

Willow didn’t know much about what had happened other than it was a touchy subject. However, anytime it came up, she was nothing but supportive and empathetic. Amity smiles at them both, and takes a deep breath. She truly doesn’t know what she would do without them.

Willow gives her another squeeze before she lets go to set the plant below her seat and sit back. Luz, however, doesn’t let go as the lights go down and the curtain goes up. She squeezes her hand throughout the first numbers to check in on her, earning a squeeze and nod back from Amity. She wasn’t exactly panicking about being back in the same place as she met Boscha, but she still needed grounding every now and again so she didn’t think to hard about it, and Luz knew that. 

Eventually, Luz lets go, and Amity nearly pouts at the actions. She stops when she feels Luz lean her head against her as she sighs. She tenses up at first, thankful that the lights are down so her blush is not obvious. She calms herself and relaxes, reminding herself that Luz is close to Gus and Willow like this too. They all are, and it’s proven by Willow beside her also leaning against her slightly. She quietly chuckles at them and puts her hands up to their faces gently to acknowledge them both, shaking her head.  

She sighs as watches Gus on stage, along with Ed. She always knew her brother was incredibly talented, and she would never tell him that his voice is genuinely amazing. And she wasn’t necessarily doubtful of Gus’s talent, but she was pleasantly surprised that he was also on par with her brother as he acted beside him. She was barely able to pay attention, but she loosely knew the show already to the point that she really didn’t need to focus too much on the actual plot. She could just admire the people one stage and the people beside her. 

“So.. They are striking because they aren’t being treated right because some rich man decided he wanted all the money for himself? And there’s a girl with the voice of an angel basically girlboss-ing her way into making it better? Is that close enough?” Luz whispered to her. 

Amity giggled a little, “Yes, the newsboys are striking because they aren’t getting paid fairly, and yes Katherine is taking charge.”

“Ohhhhh, now I get it. I don’t think I’ve ever seen so many men in tights.. But they look great, and I would fall on my face if I tried to dance like that. I didn’t even know Gus could dance like that…” Willow whispered back. 

“We should have gotten him a bigger plant,” Amity answers, making them both stifle their laughter. 

“I hope he knows we will never let him forget about those tights,” Luz laughs out. They lose it at that, all trying extraordinarily hard to not make too much noise, and failing. They get shushed by the people around them, making it harder for them to stop laughing. They were respectful nonetheless, and the show continued. 

They spent intermission sending Gus encouraging texts to tell him he was doing amazing, and sending him a few pictures they sneaked as well. The rest of the show was a far stretch from the first production Amity had seen before, and they left the theater talking about how much they actually enjoyed it. Amity had barely remembered the way to get down to where the lobby was outside of the dressing rooms from coming up to see Ed’s shows before, but she still had gotten them there by the time the cast was heading out to see the people outside waiting for them. Gus saw them all and his eyes lit up as he ran to hug them. 

“I’m so happy you all came! I know you guys don’t love theatre, but seriously it means so much,” Gus said as he pulled back from the hug.

“We wanted to get you something for your first actual show, so we got you this!” Willow says, holding the plant out to him. That made him tear up like the sweet sap he is, and he hugged them again. 

“I’m definitely gonna kill this, but I’ll remember him forever,” Gus says. 

“MITTENS!” Ed yelled from behind them, picking Amity up. 

“Put! Me! Down! When will you stop picking me up like this!” Amity laughed, hugging her brother back.

“Not for as long as I live, little sister. Did you all like it?” he asks. 

“Amazing, as usual,” Amity smiles, the rest agreeing and praising him as well. 

“Thank you, I’m glad you enjoyed it. This guy is gonna have to take my place as leading man in a few years,” He says, side hugging Gus. Amity rolled her eyes at her brother’s cockiness of calling himself the ‘leading man’ of the program, but he truthfully wasn’t wrong. “What are you all doing after this?”

“Probably just going home to study,” Willow says.

“Or, you are coming over to my place. Some people in the cast and friends are coming over, and any friends of Amity and Gus are friends of mine! Mi casa es tu casa, right?”

“It’s ‘mi casa es su casa’, but if Gus is okay with us coming then we will be there,” Luz says. 

“Ahhh, noted, thank you. And alright! I will see you all there! Mittens, if you all want to drink then let me know, I got plenty to spare,” He winks before he heads off to greet other people.

“Let me get changed and we can head out!” Gus says as he heads back to the dressing rooms. 

“Alright, well I guess we are going to a theatre party.. Never thought I’d say that.” Luz says, chuckling. 

“We don’t have to go, or drink at all. Ed’s so pushy sometimes..” Amity laughs. 

“As if we had better plans,” Willow points out, “I’ll stay sober to drive, but if you all want to, it's cool.”

Luz looks at Amity, “What do you say, bug? I’ll go anywhere with you.”

“Alright, fine. But take this as a preemptive apology for my brother,” She sighs as Gus comes back out with his regular clothes on, makeup wipe in hand. 

She definitely wasn’t opposed to having a night off from studying with her friends in a fun setting, so she was only slightly protesting in case they didn’t actually want to go. But she was more than okay to go out with them, and hell, they’re all dressed up but now they have a place to go. 

Chapter Text

On the way to the party, Gus forces Willow to go to a drive thru. They all steal a few fries from him, and he continues to snatch the bag away from them each time. Amity and Luz are in the backseat again, and the windows are down even if it is cold as they yell the lyrics to whatever song is playing to each other. Amity gives Willow directions to the apartment and soon they arrive and sit in the parking lot for a few minutes while Gus scarfs down the remainder of his dinner. 

“Are you gonna drink?” Luz asks Amity as Willow attempts to steal more fries from Gus.

“If I do, it won’t be much. My brother will probably try to get me to take a shot with him, but I might gag so that will not be happening,” She laughs, “What about you?”

“I’ll follow your lead. I don’t wanna get too drunk and embarrass myself in front of you just yet,” she winks as she opens the car door and grabs Amity’s hand to pull her out on her side. 

“Oh, so you’re saying that I’m the only one who’s embarrassed myself? The blue stain on the common room floor would disagree!”

“Yeah right! That was the best moment of your life Blight!” Luz laughs, pulling the door open once Amity points her in the right direction of the back porch that belonged to her brother. Well she's not wrong..

Luz walks inside and Amity lets Willow and Gus in before her, but before they do, Gus gives her an all-knowing-look that forces Amity to roll her eyes in response. She huffs and pulls the door closed behind her. 

The ‘party’ this time was probably around 20 people, so it was a lot more laid back than it was a month ago, and that came as a relief to Amity. This made it easier to socialize, and easier to have fun with fewer people. 

“So, what do we do now?” Luz asks Amity and Gus, knowing they’ve been here before. 

“Well, I can set up Ed’s switch and we can start a Mario Kart tournament. That’s what he and I normally do with Emira, Viney, and his roommate,” Amity shrugs. 

“Don’t threaten me with a good time,” Luz encourages as Amity starts to set it all up, calling to her brother to tell him what she was doing. 

A few people join them in the living room, Ed included, watching them play and cheering each other on. Even at college age, Mario Kart was still a fan favorite. Ed came up to hand them all a drink, Willow passing him up so he took the drink for himself. They switch out players as people lose, and Amity is quickly out in the first round along with Gus. 

Amity has always been incredibly competitive but never good at whatever games they were playing, even as kids. So she shrugs at the loss as she watches Luz beat a bunch of upperclassmen, and cheers her on and helps her in any way she can. 

“We make a good team, bug,” Luz smiles at her between rounds, finishing her drink. Amity had also been nursing the drink, and was starting to feel a little warm in her cheeks, and feeling her normal state of nervousness cease to exist. 

“Yeah, I think you’re right.” She smiles, and steals Luz’s cup to get them more from Ed in the kitchen who was ‘waiting to play the winner’ since he was the ‘undefeated champion’. 

She sees him talking to some guy who she recognizes was also in the musical, and raises her mugs to ask him to help her out. He nods and opens the fridge to retrieve more cheap wine. She knew he didn’t trust any freshman with his actual wine glasses, but something about drinking wine in mugs seemed like it was it’s own specific subset of the college experience since Luz had described that she had done with Gus and Willow multiple times before. 

As Ed refills the mugs, she hears the front door open from beside the kitchen, and looks over to see who’s coming in. She immediately recognizes the voices and begins to feel a panic arise in her chest as she sees Skara, Bo, Amelia and Boscha walk in. They don’t seem to notice her, and she quickly turns around as if it would help her hide if they did. They past the kitchen, and she immediately looks over to Ed who notices her expression.

“What’s going on? What can I do?” He asks as he sets down the bottle and focuses on her. 

“These girls, this girl. I don’t.. I don’t wanna see her. I don’t know where she went, I just… I need a moment,” She stutters out. 

“Oh, shit, the girl you came to the party with last time?” He asks as Amity nods with wide eyes, begging him to help her out of the situation. “What hap– not important. Okay, well I think my room has people in it, and I’m sure the bathroom is being used or people will knock to get in. Just.. go into Hunter’s room.”

“He hates when people go in his room?” She whisper-yells out of sheer panic. 

“If he says shit I’ll talk to him, just go, I think they went to my room so I can just distract them. I got you sis, always.”

He does just that, giving her the mug and escorting her to his roommates room as he breaks off to block off the entrance of his own so they wouldn’t see her. She quickly enters the room, relieved to find the room empty as she sits down on the floor against the bed to attempt to calm herself down.

She said she would give her space, and showing up to a theatre cast party is hardly an excuse to ruin that promise when she was a business major. On top of that, she personally was not ready to see Boscha either. She starts to take deep breaths and tries to ground herself like Luz had shown her, but finds it hard on her own. She clung onto the mug in her hands, but she had no intentions on drinking anymore so she could soberly get herself out of this mess somehow. 

While she is trying to talk herself out of a panic, she hears a knock on the door before it cracks open and Willow peaks her head in. 

“Hey, I went to find you and your brother said you were in here.. Are you okay?” She asks as she sits down next to her, holding out her hand as an anchor. 

Amity takes it begrudgingly, “Boscha just got here.. And I just needed a moment...”

“Oh… I know I don’t know what happened, but it has to be bad if you are on the verge of an anxiety attack at the thought of it,” She responds, “Do you wanna talk about it?”

“Um, you know what, yeah. I haven’t even fully told Luz everything that happened, so maybe I should,” She begins as she starts the whole story from top to bottom. She doesn’t go into excruciating detail, but enough to tell her why it’s been eating at her so much. Willow listens, nodding, responding, and squeezing her hand occasionally. 

“And now, she’s here. After she said to give her space… I just feel like a jackass because I’ve already hurt her enough and here I am, showing up at a party for people in her major, and totally disrespecting the one thing she asked for,” she sighs, finishing her story. 

“You know, Ed is your brother . You don’t need a reason to be at his apartment, major and party aside,” She reassures, “And Amity.. She is just as much at fault, actually I think she is the only one at fault.”

“What do you mean? I led her on, I hurt her?” Amity hadn’t even wondered who was fault before now, because it seemed clear as day that it was her. 

“You had no idea, Amity. She basically told you in front of an entire group of people so you would feel obligated to respond, and even then you told her the very next day after you found out that you didn’t reciprocate the feelings.. I think you did nothing wrong.”

“Yeah, but I ditched her, and I did the exact same thing during the game but I didn’t mean I had a crush on her–” She shuts herself up before she admits more than she should. Gus being the only one to know was enough for her. 

“You left because you felt uncomfortable, not because you were maliciously trying to leave her behind,” She ensures, grabbing both her hands and scooting in front of her so Amity focused in, “Amity, you have every right to feel just as hurt. Not guilty. You lost your best friend, even if you don't think she is at fault. You lost someone, and that hurts. And that’s okay.”

“Yeah.. I guess I did.. Thank you,” She murmurs back after a moment for her to let it sink in. 

“Of course–” Willow is cut off by the door swinging open.

“Hey! I told you to ask me to come into my room if I’m not– wait are you okay?” Hunter starts, quickly moving to close the door behind him once he senses the tension from the conversation in the room. 

“I’m sorry.. Ed said– it doesn’t matter. I’m fine,” Amity says, starting to get up and bring Willow up with her. 

“It’s fine... just text me next time. Who’s your friend? Didn’t know you had any,” he says plainly, earning a scoff and eye roll from Amity. Hunter had moved in with Ed around a year ago when he transferred to Hexside, and since then he has treated Amity exactly like an annoying older brother would. He cared about her, but with the guise of being an asshole over top of it. 

“Shut up, as if you have any. This is Willow, and I have other friends out there too, maybe if you aren’t an asshole you can meet them too,” She chuckles, “Sorry again, but thank you.”

Amity grabbed her still full mug and pulled a staring Willow out of the room and into the living room with Luz who was still playing against some of Ed’s friends. She easily made friends with everyone in the room,  a trait of hers that Amity was envious of. She admired the hell out of it too, she was able to find a way to connect with anyone. It was hard to not love her the minute you met her, or at least that's what she thought. 

She sits down next to Luz, and sets the mug down in front of her if she wanted it, considering if she was going to have to face Boscha, then she’d better do it sober. 

“Where’ve you been, Bug? I was getting worried,” Luz says as she finishes off the last lap with Viney. 

“Just... needed a moment,” She shrugs, earning a lighthearted glare from Willow. She sighs, “Fine. Boscha is here.”

Luz immediately looks at her, losing her focus on the game, and letting Viney pass her by. 

“What? Why didn’t you say anything, Am? Do you want to leave?” She whisper-yells, ignoring the people behind her telling her to get back in the game. 

“You all are having so much fun, I wouldn’t want to—“ 

“We can have fun anywhere, Amity. It’s us,” Willow says, grabbing her hand to reassure her. 

“Exactly. We can go back to the dorm, we can watch a movie, play a game, anything. Let me go get Gus from the kitchen, and we can go get more fries to share or a slushie. Sound good?” Luz says, handing her controller off to whoever was next to and holding Amity by the shoulders. 

“Are you sure? I can just hide in Willow’s car, or just face her. I mean we live a few doors down from her, it'll have to happen eventually–”

“But it doesn’t have to be now, not if you aren’t ready,” Luz furrows her brows, sliding her hands down Amity’s arms to grab her hands and squeeze, “There’s no need to cause you anxiety just for Mario Kart, you’re much more important than that.”

“Yeah?” Amity asks, she wasn’t really sure what else to say because her mind was annoyingly whirling at the idea of Luz finding her important, even if it was in relational to a video game. 

“Yeah. Always. Let’s get out of here,” Luz smiles, getting up to drag Gus out of the kitchen from some of the other people in the cast. 

“Mittens, bring your friends over again when it’s just the fam. I’ll try to make sure they aren’t invited to the next one–” Ed starts.

“No, don’t uninvite anyone on my account. I’ve already cause her.. Just don’t do that.” Amity put it blatantly. She wasn’t ready to explain it all right then and there to her brother, and honestly hopes she never has to. 

“Fine. But I’m serious, bring your friends around more often, I like them. Obviously Hunter does too.. And obviously you like one in particular more than anyone,” he winks, heading back to his friends just as Luz walks up. She blushes and hopes she didn’t hear him, and mentally makes a note to punch Ed another day for it if she did. 

“Alrighty, let’s go get another large fry and have a sleepover at our dorm. Gus may need supervision…” Luz chuckles.

“I heaaarrrdd that!” Gus slurs out. 

Willow takes over leading him to the car as they head out the sliding door on the back porch. Luz and Amity follow behind them, hand in hand. Luz squeezes her hand and looks at her, and Amity knows that it’s her way of asking her if she’s doing okay. She looks back, smiles and squeezes back. Luz returns the smile and leads her to the car. They were both slightly tipsy, but their connection had already transcended sleepiness, Amity should have known that wine wouldn’t have stood a chance against it either. She wouldn’t give this up for anything. 

After raiding the nearest open fast food restaurant of probably their entire stock of fires, they get back to the dorm and immediately get to setting up a fort with all the extra blankets that Luz hoards, but Amity has started to follow suit on the habit by buying any cheap blanket with a slightly cute pattern she comes across. They set up blankets on the ground as well. The room was the smallest in the hall which Amity and Luz have accepted as making it homey and comfy, but it made for a snug sleepover. They decided to let Gus sleep on Luz’s bed since he was going to be sleeping off twice as much wine than them, and Willow deemed her self the only sober one to climb into the top bunk(which wasn’t true considering both Luz and Amity were sober at this point, and truth be told Willow just did not want to sleep on the ground). 

That left the two people who actually inhabited the room to sleep on the ground together. They had already grabbed the collective extra pillows and stuffed animals off of their beds, and were settling together on the ground, not yet laying down. Gus was already fast asleep, and it seemed like Willow wasn’t far off. 

“Are you feeling better since we left?” Luz asks quietly. 

“How can I not when I got you guys?” Amity tilts her head with a smile. 

“Don’t go soft on me, Blight,” Luz mirrors her head with a smirk.

“Don’t act like you haven’t already, Noceda,” She smirks back. 

“Ehhh, I don’t mind being soft for you all, bug. Makes me a good pillow,” she shrugs as she lays down, “Speaking of which, don’t think I forgot that you promised me we’d snuggle ‘another night’. I might have been half asleep, but I’d never forget a promise that.”

Amity had tried to contain every level of emotion she was feeling from the thought, so all she could do was stare back at her wide-eyed, blushing. 

“I–I mean.. You don’t have to if you don’t want to.. I was just teasing you. It’s just cold on the ground and I wanted to make sure you were comfortable, sorry I–” Luz stumbled out, trying to get a read on Amity’s reaction.

“Cat got your tongue?” Amity manages to say, holding up Ghost with a giggle.

“That was… That was both an amazing and terrible joke. Just come here silly,” Luz shakes her head, chuckling a little. 

Amity smiles and lays down next to her, feeling more awkward that she ever has around Luz. How on earth was she supposed to suppress any feelings she has when she is so close to her? 

Luz looks over at her, and laughs a little at the obvious tension in Amity’s body. She knew her well enough to know that it was just because she wasn’t sure what to do, but she also knew her well enough to gently hug Amity into her chest and play with her hair to calm her. She’d done it before when she had come back into the room after talking to Boscha and she fell asleep within twenty minutes after starting the Azura movies. If it weren't for it being nearly four in the morning and there being two other asleep people in the room, she would have grabbed her laptop to put on the movie again.  

Amity sighed and she was not the least bit surprised by how easy it was for her to melt into Luz’s arms. She closed her eyes and let her mind wander. Usually at night, she’d think.. Well, about this. But now that she was actually here, she could let her thoughts take any route. Her immediate destination was thinking about everything that had happened that night. What Willow had said about her not needing to feel guilty about Boscha because it truly wasn’t her fault. She doesn’t have to feel so guilty because as Willow said, she did nothing wrong. And Boscha had been vulnerable to her, and there were many ways that it could have concluded. At the end of it all, they both lost their best friend. However, what was nagging at her was why Boscha had acted as if she had maliciously broken her heart and led her on. Amity isn’t perfect, but she would never hurt someone intentionally, she knows that based on how avidly she is fighting her feelings with Luz so she doesn’t end up hurting her. So why would Boscha pin so much blame on her?

She decided it wasn't worth worrying about right now, and thought instead of how sweet her family and friends were to her to make sure she was comfortable, especially Luz. 

“Thank you, Luz. I know that I was probably overreacting about everything, but you still made sure I was okay. I don’t know what I’d do without you,” She yawns, leaning in closer to her. 

“Well, Bug, I’ll make sure you never have to find out,” Luz smiles down at her and wraps her arms around her tighter. 

They fall asleep like that within minutes, hugging each other. Both feeling more comfortable and safe than they ever have before, even if it was on the floor of their own dorm.

Chapter Text

Amity wakes up to the sound of a phone camera, and opens her eyes to Gus taking a picture of her and Luz cuddling on the ground. Willow is next to him, giggling. She immediately moves to swat the phone out of his hands and is stopped by Luz hugging her closer, still asleep.

“Noooo just five more minutes…” Luz mumbles, snuggling into her hair. 

Amity's entire face turns red as she looks up at the two of them, still taking pictures and now laughing even more, and Gus smirking at her. 

“I will be killing you after she lets me go,” Amity whisper-yells at him.

“I’m not sure she ever will, but at least I have blackmail.. And proof,” he winks back at her, Willow looking at him quizzically. 

Amity rolls her eyes, and nudges Luz to get her to wake up. She yawns and moves to rub her eyes, on arm still around her. 

“Luz, they are taking pictures of us. We should get up,” She softens her tone, she couldn’t not be gentle with her. 

“Let them, you’re warm and I’m still tired,” she groans, nuzzling back into Amity. 

“Luz, it’s at least noon by now… we should get up, okay?” she warmly whispers, smiling down at her as Luz opens her eyes. 

“Finnneeee, but you’d be lying if you said that wasn’t some of the best sleep of your life, Blight,” she says as she moves to sit up, “Well, actually my back would disagree, but other than that, I still slept like a baby.”

“Yeah, yeah. Come on, silly. Let’s go get some food,” Amity chuckles, still blushing. 

And it was, in fact, some of the best sleep of her life. She had felt so safe, warm, happy… and loved. She at least can imagine that last part. She secretly hopes it’s not the last time they sleep like that, even if it is just platonically. 

They all head to the dining hall together, all in pajamas they had collectively changed into last night after quickly running by Gus and Willow’s dorm. It was buffet style as always, thankfully they always had the waffle maker ready even if it was past noon. They all took turns making theirs, Gus and Amity first who head over to a table for them all. 

“Hmmm, you two were a little close for being ‘just friends’..” He says to her once they sit down.

“Can it, Crutchy. You and I both know that Luz is a cuddly person, and to be honest… I can’t allow myself to have any hope,” she adds the last part quietly.

“I get that, but Amity I don’t think the hope would be misplaced. Luz may be cuddly, but she’s not a ‘fall-asleep-cuddling-and-getting-the-best-sleep-of-your-life’ kind of platonic. I’m just saying that maybe you two should have a conversation–” Amity points her fork at him threateningly. 

“Not. Going. To. Happen. Let it go, Gus. That’s what I’m trying to do,” Amity shrugs, even if thought of ‘letting it go’ pulls at her heartstrings. 

“Also not going to happen, ‘Bug’,” he winks as the others join them.

“Whatcha talking about?” Luz asks, already slicing into her food. 

“Just about how drunk he was last night, right Gus?” She glares at him with a smirk.

“Oh, come on. You don’t get to talk about being drunk Miss Glittery Angel,” He laughs back.

“Touché…” She says. 

They continue their meal, talking about random things and declaring that they'll have to start playing Mario Kart more often. Amity mentions how they can go over to Ed’s apartment whenever too, without the social pressure of a party and drinking. They all agree that once finals are over, they will be doing next semester. 

Gus and Willow head back to their own rooms, all deciding they would meet up again later to keep studying for their classes in the arts building. Luz and Amity head to their room and fold up the blankets on the ground and hang from their bed, starting a stuffed animal throwing fight in the midst. Amity knows she shouldn’t get her hopes up about the possibility of her and Luz, but she can’t deny the small glisten of it she gets in her mind just by the way she was holding her last night. 

___________________________

Later that night, they are all camped out in a random computer lab in the arts building, still in their PJ’s from earlier. They were used to lounging in their comfy clothes around each other, especially late at night on campus. They had all been studying for hours, taking breaks to discuss random things, or helping another with a question about a random assignment. Even if they all were different majors, they still helped each other out by offering their different perspectives. 

Amity hated most of the work she was doing. Calculating sales for an imaginary business, writing a proposal for it, and making marketing tactics as well. The only part she enjoyed was drawing out the designs of the logos and the advertisements for her final. 

“Hey, I’m gonna take a break. My eyes are getting twitchy and my hand hurts. Anyone wanna walk around the building with me?” Luz interrupts her thoughts. 

“I need to keep studying for this exam and calculating these results from my lab on Friday, but maybe later?” Willow says, not taking her eyes off her laptop.

“Yeah and I have to write this character analysis and I’m in the middle of the climax of the play, I can’t put it down now!” Gus exclaims, laying on his stomach on the floor with the script in hand and notebook to the side while he writes down motivations of his assigned character(at least that’s what Amity had assumed from the questions he would pose to the group whenever he needed a second opinion).

“Well that just leaves you, Bug. You down?” Luz smiles at her.

“I’d do anything to get away from this work, so please,” She gets up, and follows her roommate out the door. 

They walk around the building as Luz points out murals on the walls of the visual arts floor they were on, and sculptures made by seniors in the program that were showcased for their final. They make it to a gallery on the floor that Amity had no idea even existed. Luz had never taken the group there, so Amity assumed it was Luz’s secret hideaway whenever she needed a break. And she took me here…

“God, I’d do anything to be in this building all the time. Surrounded by art, surrounded by people who love doing their own art, professors and mentors who care.. It sounds like a dream,” Amity sighs, sitting next to Luz on a bench in the middle of the room. 

“Anything?” She asked, chuckling. Amity nodded and continued to look around the room at the exhibit.

They’re both quiet for a moment, taking it all in. Amity is sure that Luz has had seen all of this a billion times, so she’s probably got something else on her mind than the motivations of the pieces that Amity was seeing for the first time. 

“Then change your major, Amity.” Luz breaks the silence. Amity responds to her with a dismissive laugh. 

“You know I can’t do that. My mom would kill me…” She says.

“Amity, you’re an adult. I mean, barely, we both have a lot to learn in this world. But it starts with making a decision for yourself. You hate your classes, you are so drained by the time you get home. You hate the work, the people, the building, the professors. I’ve told you once, and I’ll tell you again: You’d love it here. You’d finally be happy…” Luz is now looking at her like she’s the only thing in the room to be focused on. 

“Yeah, but it’s not that simple. My parents pay for everything for me. If they found out there’s no telling what they’d do,” She looks back at her. 

“And if worse comes to worst, you have us. You have me, Bug. We’d get you through it, so what if you have to get a job,” She laughs, “And besides, when’s the last time you made a choice for you? One to make just you, and no one else, happy?”

Amity looks down at her lap. She genuinely has no idea. She continues to put everyone and everything in her life before her own needs. She does nothing for herself, truly. 

“Exactly. Make the jump, take a chance. Do it for you, and your parents will just have to deal with it. You never wanted what they wanted for you, and you told me about how Ed and Emira changed their majors for themselves against your parents' will, what makes you any different?” Luz grabs her hand.

“I’m the last kid. That’s the difference. I’m the last one able to take it on, the last one for them to control. My mom told me that they were a disappointment to the family, and that I couldn’t be the same. She’d be so angry if their last hope was demolished for a career that pays basically nothing,” Amity sighed. She had dreamed of what it would be like to work with kids, teach them art. Finger paint, sticky hands, popsicle sticks, all of it. The thought of helping her possible students make something that their parents would hold onto forever, even if it was terrible, warmed her heart more than anything. She didn’t even care that teachers make next to nothing(even if that was bullshit), she’d be happy. 

“Who cares about money, who cares about disappointing people who let you down from the get go when they decided a future for you? Amity, I know this is hard for you to hear and even consider, but your happiness means everything. It should be your top priority, always. This major, these classes, this pressure? It’s costing you your peace, and that’s too expensive. I know I’m being pushy, but I see you. I see how unhappy you are, I just want my friends– no. I just want my best friend to be happy,” She says, not knowing that Amity has heard that line before from Gus, but referring to something that could ruin both of their happinesses instead.

“I– I… I don’t know Luz. It’s scary.. I’m scared,” Amity admits. 

“It is scary. But it’s worth it, and you’d have us every step of the way, I can even email my advisor so we can share one. We can go to her office together tomorrow, she can help you with the Major Change form. I’ll even go with you to the Education building and help you figure that out too, just–” Luz sighs, squeezing her hand, “Just let me help you make a decision that you know deep down is the right one. Don’t choose to live your life unfulfilled. You deserve so much more, Amity.”

Amity just kept looking back at her, searching in her eyes like maybe there’d be an answer. Of course the choice was obvious to anyone. But there was so much riding on it, so many consequences to come of it. She was terrified of what her parents might do, what her mother might do. But Luz, like always, was right. She didn’t want to live a life where she dreaded every waking day. She didn’t want to run a business.. She didn’t want to let her mother control her life anymore. She found an answer in Luz’s eyes, she had her. No matter what. 

“Okay. Let’s do this.”

“Okay? OKAY?” Luz jumps up, pulling Amity with her. 

“Yes!! I’ll do it!!” Amity squeals, she was just as excited, and she wasn’t gonna let the one decision she made for herself go now. 

“AMITY!!! I’M SO EXCITED FOR YOU!!!” Luz pulls her into a hug, lifts her off the ground and spins her around. Amity leans into her, giggling. “I’ll be there, every step of the way. Let’s go back to the room, I’ll email my professor right now. You’re gonna love her!”

Luz pulls her back into the room and they do just that, Gus and Willow hugging Amity as well at the news. They told her how proud they were of her, and how excited they are to see her happy. 

Amity and Luz go back to the dorm that night after they finish up their work, and Amity can’t help but feel a wave of excitement rush over her. She was also petrified to find out what her mother will do, because she knows she will find out in an instant since she has access to her school account and grades. 

Luz had hugged her multiple times, explaining how they’ll probably be in some of the same classes and how she can help her in the ones she’ll have to catch up on in the major. Amity genuinely thinks that Luz might be more excited than she is, but that also makes her even more happy. She’ll get to see her, go to class with her, walk around the building with her, share professors… It'll be amazing. 

They set up in Luz’s bed, replacing the classes Amity has originally registered for next semester with art classes instead. She had helped her pick the classes with the ‘better’ professors(even though Luz had only met the few she had classes with in one semester in the program), and they were talking about how they’d share supplies and how Amity would have to buy a few things and they’d go the the store together. They saved space in her schedule for elementary education classes since neither of them knew what she would need immediately. 

They eventually fell asleep together, again, sharing a pillow and blanket in Luz’s bed. They were still slightly upright, but both of them were too tired to care. Amity hoped that this was a habit they were making because maybe a twin bed wasn’t too small for the both of them. 

______________________________

That morning they left together, Amity skipping her classes that day. It was the last week of regular classes before finals week, so they were mostly review classes, which she didn’t need if she was being frank. 

Luz leads Amity into the art building, she had been there plenty of times but this was different. This was the first time she was entering it and accepting it as her new home on campus. She led her onto the visual arts floor, and knocked on the door of a small office before a woman welcomed them in. 

“Hey, so I know my email last night was kind of vague, so this is my roommate, Amity Blight! She.. wants to change her major to visual arts and I thought you would be the perfect person to help us out!” Luz smiles, sitting down in one of the chairs comfortably as if she had been there plenty of times before. 

“Well that is indeed my job, so of course! It’s nice to meet you, Amity,” She says, standing up to shake her hand, “I’m Lily Clawthorne, and once you fully join us in the program, I’ll be your advisor, and possible professor depending on your classes.”

“Hello! I’m Amity.. Wait, you already know that.. Sorry I’m just a bit nervous about all of this. I’m totally sure about it, it’s just a big change,” Amity laughs, shaking her hand and then sitting down next to Luz. 

“Let me just pull you up in the system… Oh wow, business major.. That is a big change. But usually when people change to arts majors from another it’s because of being forced to believe they shouldn’t follow their dreams or something along those lines. But I promise you, there are so many things that you can do with this major. And we are all creative enough to create our own paths, so rest assured I will be there every step of the way as you figure it all out,” She says, looking over at her from her computer.

“Actually, I am changing it to a double major. I want to be an elementary art teacher, which I know has little money, but a decent job guarantee.. At least I think so, but yeah that’s my plan,” she smiled awkwardly, she had thought it, and only said it to Luz aloud. But saying it here in front of an advisor? It was both terrifying, but freeing. One of few decisions she has ever felt so sure of. 

“That sounds amazing! Well, let's go ahead and fill out this major change form, and I’ll get some info for you and make sure you are registered for all the right classes. Knowing Luz, she already helped you do that,” She winks. 

“You know me so well, that’s what makes you ‘Cool Aunt Lilith’, huh?” Luz smirks, sitting back in her chair and leaning her feet up against the desk. Amity looks at her confused, Luz had said nothing about their now shared advisor being related to her. 

“You can’t call me that on campus, people will think I am playing favorites to a niece that’s not actually my niece at all. Don’t make me call Eda, and get your feet off my desk,” Lily laughs, pushing Luz’s feet off, making her stumble in the chair a bit. 

“Oooo, call Eda! I miss her…” Luz trails off, eventually meeting Amity’s eyes who was still staring at her, eyebrows furrowed in utter confusion. 

“Lily is your aunt?” Amity asks, causing both Lily and Luz to chuckle a bit. 

“Not ACTUALLY. But yeah.. Wait, you remember that note I left you when you moved in? About how I was visiting my mom and my ‘other mom that wasn’t actually my mom’?” Amity nods, slowly connecting the dots, “Well that is Eda Clawthorne. You’ll meet her eventually, and she’s Lily’s sister. So by association–”

“‘Cool Aunt Lilith’,” Lily adds on, still working on her computer, “Anyways, Amity you should be receiving an email to confirm that you’d like to change your major! I also went ahead and emailed the education advising department to tell them you were coming, and explained that you’d be double majoring. I checked the classes that you registered for as well, and as always, Luz did well. Everything looks great!”

“Thank you so much! I can’t believe this is all real.. But I’m really excited. Seriously, thank you,” Amity says, barely able to keep her composure and grabbing Luz’s hand out of instinct to get her to calm down. 

“Of course, anything for Luz and now one of my students! You’ll have an intro level class with me as well so I will be seeing you next semester. Happy holidays in advance Ms. Blight,” She winks, getting up to hug Luz, “And I assume that I will be seeing you over break at Eda’s?”

“Absolutely, so you better have gotten me a good gift,” Luz squints her eyes, embracing her as Lily chuckles in response. 

They exchange goodbyes and leave the room, heading over to her other appointment that Lily had said they had an opening for. The two of them spend the entire walk talking about how they were going to be in some of the same classes, and the way they’d help each other and share supplies. Amity had felt accepted by friends and felt warm by her environment here at Hexside, but she was never this enthusiastic about her actual academia. 

They get to the office and have a similar meeting with the woman she now had as an advisor, and she had helped her schedule a few classes as well and lay out her plan for the next four years. By the time they left that office, Amity was officially in her dream track of schooling, and she could not stop smiling. Nothing could phase her happiness. Not even the studying and homework she had left to do in her business classes, because even if they now didn’t contribute to her graduating, she still needed to keep up her GPA. 

_________________________________________

They had all reached the homestretch of finals week, all of them making plans to get home for the break. Amity was going to be the last to leave since she wanted to spend as much time as possible away from her family, so she was leaving on Sunday. Willow and Gus were leaving Friday night, and Luz on Saturday. So although they were all tired and stressed from finals week, they planned to spend as much freetime as they could with each other. Gus said he was already homesick, but that he was going to be homesick from them when they all left. It was true for all of them that they had become home to one another. Amity held that feeling close to her heart, but she already knew that from the moment she walked through her dorm door in the C wing, it was already her home. 

It was Wednesday night, Luz was helping quiz Amity on her last final she was taking tomorrow morning, and they were even finding fun in that. Luz made anything fun for her, and she would spend eternity studying business flashcards if it meant Luz was there next to her. 

“Okay, Blight, you’re impressing me by knowing all of these. You sure you wanna start with a new major? Because you could be a rich business owner and support me for the rest of our lives. I could live in your mansion,” Luz jokes. 

“I think I’m pretty sure about that. I can offer emotional support for the rest of our lives instead?” She smiles.

“Ughhhh, I guess that’ll have to do,” she dramatically sighed, “But you’re saying we will in fact be in each other’s lives forever?”

“I mean, if it wasn’t already obvious I don’t think I could live without you. Both literally and emotionally, and besides if we are gonna grow up both old, starving, single artists, we might as well save on rent,” Amity laughs, but also hates the thought of Luz being with anyone else. If the happiest ending she can get is being best friends for the remainder of their lives, then she’d hope that she never has to see her with someone else. 

“Oh, so you’re saying I’m gonna be single forever? How rude! I have more game than that, Blight,” Luz scoffs, smiling at her. 

“I’ll believe it when I see it,” She laughs back, “Now come on, this exam is in 10 hours and I need to at least be able to get a B on it!”

“Wait, should we make one of those pacts that everyone has at least once in their life with their best friend? The ‘if I’m still single by whatever age we get married for the tax benefits’ promise?” Luz exclaims.

There’s no doubt in Amity’s mind that her face is tomato red right now, if she’d get to possibly marry Luz even if it is with slim chances, she'd jump on that offer. But she can’t make it too obvious that it’s basically her dream. 

“Well hopefully it never gets to that point, but what age are we agreeing to?” she asked, keeping her cool.

“Not sure, maybe like .. 40 years old? Or maybe 35 if we are really lonely,” Luz shrugged.

“Fine, 40 but 35 if we are really lonely. It’s a deal. Let’s shake on it,” She held out her hand.

Luz took her hand and shook it with a serious nod, “The oath is sealed, Bug. Now it’s my job to keep you single for the next 20ish years.”

“Very funny, Luz. Now seriously, let me study!!” Amity squeezed her hand before she put it down to pick up flashcards back up.

“Fineeeee, define ‘Revenue’.”

“Revenue is the total amount of money brought in by a company’s operations–” She was cut off by banging on her door. It was 11 PM on a weeknight during finals week, quiet hours. So who the hell was banging was beyond them.

They looked at each other with confusion, Luz shrugged and got up and held a hand to help Amity. Luz decided that she’d be the one to answer it, Amity close behind her. 

She opened the door and Amity felt an entire chill go through her body. She stood frozen as she stared back, and Luz looked at the woman curiously, but quickly connected the dots.

“Oh! You must be Amity’s–”

“AMITY BLIGHT! Do you have ANYTHING to say for yourself? Anything you’d like to SHARE? Maybe some CHANGE in your life? Or multiple?” She yells at her, somehow still poised as she always was.

“Mom.. what are you doing–”

“So, you moved out of your dorm with Lauren? Without telling me at all? Do you have any idea how that could have affected business with her family? I had to find out by knocking on HER door, and imagine MY surprise when she says you haven’t lived there in MONTHS.”

“Mom, let me explain–”

“On top of that lack of communication that was also a severe lack of judgment, and gives your parents NO secure way of knowing your safe, you also decide to even FURTHER put the business in jeopardy. I log into your school account to find that you have changed your MAJOR. That is not a decision you get to make on your own Amity. And ART and EDUCATION? I knew you were creative but this is just an imaginary career.”

“Actually, Mrs. Blight, she has a great plan for the future! My aunt is her advisor–” Luz cuts in, standing back to stand beside Amity, trying to offer her some support.

“Quiet, you. Do not be disrespectful to me. Is this where you are learning it from Amity? Because this is nothing like you. I’ve never seen you this impulsive and STUPID. So obviously it must be coming from this new roommate you threw everything away for–” 

“Do not speak to her like that, I didn’t even know she would BE my roommate,” Amity cut her off, her mouth taking control of her mind that was still terrified. She’d barely been yelled at by her mother like this, but she feared it whenever she made even the slightest wrong move. 

“Excuse me? Amity Blight, you do NOT speak to me in that tone. You have lost all SENSE of respect and maturity in the few months you’ve been gone. Pack your things, you are coming home with me NOW. We will meet with your business advisor to change your major back, and hopefully we can clear up the mess you made with Lauren’s family,” She pushed past them both to start putting anything she knew belonged to her daughter into the nearest bag. 

“STOP, Mom, let me just explain–” Amity was cut off by her mother losing her poise and screaming back at her.

“YOU DO NOT GET TO EXPLAIN. YOU SPENT MONTHS LIVING IN SECRET, AFTER EVERYTHING WE’VE DONE FOR YOU, THE FUTURE WE PAVED FOR YOU. YOU HAVE EVERYTHING GIVEN TO YOU BUT STILL YOU ARE A SPOILED BRAT–”

“I NEVER WANTED ANY OF IT!”

The room was already tension filled, but now it fell silent. Amity has never yelled at her mother. She’s never yelled at anyone, truthfully. Not filled with this much rage. But she let it take over, she didn’t know the emotion’s limits because she’s never felt it like this.

“I NEVER wanted the business. I NEVER wanted you to CONTROL every aspect of my life. MY life. You just decided for me, like you always have, our entire lives. Why do you think Ed and Emira rarely speak to you? I’m starting to believe that they had the right idea. You are a SELFISH, IGNORANT, HEARTLESS person. Especially with your children. I chose something for myself for the FIRST time in my life, and you don’t get to take that away from me. I don’t need the business, I don’t need the money, I don’t need your blessing, and I CERTAINLY DON’T NEED YOU.”

She was completely out of breath, and the temperature in the room felt like it increased at least ten degrees. Her mother is glaring back at her, still silent, and she doesn’t know what else to say. She didn’t even know she was able to say what she already has, but any fear was taken over by the fury boiling inside of her. She felt Luz grab her hand, trying to ground her like she always has. Odalia’s glare is interrupted by her gazing down at the interaction. 

Amity reminded herself to breathe, and finally closed her eyes to calm herself down as Luz had taught her in the past. She opens her eyes to her mother dropping Amity’s things, crossing her arms and raising an eyebrow at them.

“Fine. You don’t need me? Then let’s see how you do without me. Find a way to pay for your own food, your own phone bill, your own needs, and your own tuition . And don’t bother coming home for the break, if you don’t need me then you don’t need my house. Give me your keys,” She spoke coldly and calmly, holding out her hand.

“What?” Amity whispered, the fear starting to rise above again.

“Give. Me. Your. Keys. We pay for that car, but if you don’t need me, you don’t need it. It’ll sit here in this lot as a reminder that you choose this. When you’re ready to admit you have made the wrong one, you can contact me. Until then, do not speak to me or your father, and do not come home. You want to ‘ forge your own path ’, then you better make sure you have some solid ground to do so. Now, your keys , Amity,” She concluded, tilting her head and raising her eyebrows. 

Amity slowly found her footing and retrieved them from her desk and separated her car keys from her room key, and handed them to her mom. She yanked them from her hand and huffed, pushing past them again. She slammed the door behind her, and if the whole hallway wasn’t awake, they sure as hell were now. Amity did nothing but stare at the door she left from, holding her breath and hoping that maybe she’d wake up from this nightmare. 

Luz broke some of the tension by quietly walking up to the door and locking it. She slowly turned back to meet Amity’s wide eyes who’s stare hadn't left the door. She starts to make the hand motions to remind her to breathe, doing it with her. Amity follows, but the minute she catches her breath she breaks down, falling to the floor. Luz immediately rushes to her.

“Hey, it’s okay. We will figure it all out, like I said. You have me. And I’ve got you,” Luz says as she holds her and rubs her back through the sobs.

Amity isn’t able to get any words out. She knew this would happen, and she still did it. How could she be so naive? This decision was bound to make her entire life collateral damage from her mother. She doesn’t want to change back, but she also knows that she won’t be able to even get a degree without the money to do it. Her mother was right, she can’t do this on her own. She has no money of her own, she’s never had to have a job, and she has no scholarships because her mother had told her there was no need to apply. 

Another way to ensure I’d depend on her. 

They sat there on the floor for a while, Amity eventually running out of any tears in her body. She thought she was scared before, but now she was horrified. She truly did have no future without her parents. Without her mother. And her mother was the one to make sure that happened. She was always harsher on Amity than she was with her siblings, because she just had told them she was ‘disappointed’ when they changed career paths, but this kind of reaction was specific for her and her only.

“Luz.. I don’t have a-any idea what–” She broke her silence.

“We don’t have to figure that all out now. We can figure that out tomorrow, and we have all of break to come up with a plan. Right now, you need to just rest. You’re sleeping in my bed tonight, I’m not leaving your side, Bug. No matter what, I’m here. I’m done with my finals, so even if we get no sleep, I’m here,” Luz picked her up with ease and led her to the bed to sit her down. Amity would normally be blushful by the action, but her entire being was drained of any emotion but hopelessness. 

“I can’t stay here over break, you had to tell the housing office if you’d be here and I didn’t think I would be. I don’t even have a car to sleep in. I guess I could go to either Ed or Emira’s I guess, or talk to Viney. I’m sure she heard everything..” She said with a rasp in her voice. She had also never cried this much in her life.

“You aren’t staying here, and you aren’t doing nothing for the holidays, you’ll come home with me,” Luz said after she retrieved water from their fridge for Amity to drink.

“I’m not invading your family’s home during the holidays. I couldn’t possibly ask that–”

“You’re not asking. I’m offering. My mom loves a full house, and I’m sure she’d love to meet the person who’s the reason I’m still sane right now,” She chuckled as she sat down on the bed next to her, putting the water in her hands. 

“Luz, I can just go to my brother or sister’s apartment. They won’t be home anyway, they get to go home,” saying that made her heart ache. Of course she hated being with her mother during the holidays, but she hadn’t spent a single year away from her siblings for New Years. 

“Even more reason to come with me, I’m not letting you spend the break completely alone. There’s no question about it, and you know it. You’re the most logical person alive, Amity. I think coming home with me, having warm meals and company, is the most logical thing,” Luz shrugged. 

“I guess you’re right.. Will you at least ask your mom first?” She asked, at least if she knew for a fact Luz’s mother wouldn’t care then she wouldn’t feel nearly as bad. 

“I’ll call her first thing tomorrow when I wake you up to make sure you are on time for your final. But for right now, just drink the water and get some rest, okay?” Luz gestured to the cup in her hand. 

“Okay…” She drank the water and then stared down at her hands while they sat in silence again. It wasn’t the comfortable silence they were used to, and Amity could feel Luz’s worry leaking off of her. She hates being viewed as if she is a wounded animal, but in all fairness that’s what she felt like. 

She handed the cup back to her once she finished it, and Luz set it beside the bed and turned around to pull her under her blanket. Luz rubbed her back and stayed quiet, not wanting to talk about anything until Amity was ready to.

“I don’t know what I would do without you,” Amity sighed and let herself nearly melt into the bed and into Luz.  

“And I’ll make sure you never have to find out, Bug,” Luz whispered back before they both fell asleep still in their day clothes. 

Chapter Text

The drive to the Noceda’s was only about half an hour from Hexside, the opposite direction of the Blight mansion. It was a lot closer than her house, but she still took the opportunity to take note of the drive, memorize it.

She had nearly aced all of her finals, leaving her with mostly A’s, so she at least felt content in her academic performance. As far as how her winter break was going to go, she was feeling unsettled. Her family had never really celebrated the ‘holidays’, it was mostly just receiving a few gifts for the end of the year, but never religiously motivated. Her and her siblings however did make it a tradition to celebrate New Years together, even if their mother told them it was a ‘made up holiday to make yourself empty promises’.

They would go to watch fireworks wherever they were being displayed near them, and even attempted to do it themselves one year but it almost ended up being fatal for both them and the land around them so they decided to never do it that way again. They’d buy each other small gifts, tell each other what their resolutions were and spend the year pushing each other to follow through. It was important to them, and they didn’t realize until later that it was because it established a concrete connection and support system that they weren’t really granted from their parents.

However, this year she’s not sure how she will be able to go without them. She had no traditions of her own, and no matter how many times both Luz and Luz’s mom, Camila, told her she wasn’t, she felt as if she was intruding on someone else's. Luz told her that they aren’t really religious either, but still celebrate the holidays. Most of what she shared was just about there being a lot of food and gift exchanges. Luz also told her that it’s okay that she wouldn’t have gifts to give since she was quite literally just cut off, but it still made Amity feel guilty.

But she intended on not letting herself dwell too much on any of that for the moment, and instead focused on Luz talking about random things and listening to Luz sing under her breath to songs while she drove.

“So, tell me about your family so I can at least be somewhat prepared,” Amity broke the small silence in between the random conversations.

“Oh, yeah that might be important. So, I have a sister named Vee, my mom adopted her when I was young. She said that she looked a lot like me, and she couldn’t stop seeing me in her so she fostered her for a while until she was about to adopt her. She still looks a lot like me, but my mom swears it’s just a ‘coincidence’,” Luz chuckled, taking one hand off the wheel to emphasize her quotes.

“And my Mama, Camila, is a veterinarian. So she’s all about animals, but we actually don’t have any of our own. Well, I mean we took in a stray dog when I was about 12 years old, posted lost dog posters everywhere, ya know the whole thing. Within a month, the owner contacted us and came over to prove it was her dog and he literally ran across the room and into her arms. Then that woman never really left our lives, so that’s Eda. And you know Lily.”

“So you have a twin sister that’s not actually your twin sister, a mom that's not actually your mom, and an aunt that’s not actually your aunt. And your actual mom, so it’s Vee, Eda, Lily, Camila. And the dog?” Amity asked, mentally taking notes of it all.

“Oh! That’s King. He’s obviously not at our house anymore, but I visit Eda all the time. My mom and her joke that they have shared custody of me and I have shared custody of King,” She laughed.

“Well, I am excited to see that dynamic. You sure Eda and Camila aren’t just in love or something?” Amity giggled.

“Don’t get me STARTED! I could have sworn they were a thing when we first met Eda, but then they just gradually became just friends. Now Eda is dating her high school sweetheart that she lost touch with when they both went to Hexside but with different majors. But they are both so sweet together, their name is Raine. I LOVE them, I think you will too, you are both sort of shy at first but really ambitious and dedicated,” Luz said as if it was fact. Amity was blushing about how Luz thought of her.

“Didn’t know you thought so highly of me, but I am not SHY?!” Amity exclaimed.

“WHAT? You blush whenever someone compliments you, you’re blushing RIGHT NOW!” Luz laughed.

“I’m PALE I can’t HIDE it!” Amity pouted, crossing her arms and facing towards the window.

“Oh, come on! It’s cute,” Luz said softly, taking one hand off the wheel to move Amity’s chin to look at her. Amity had nowhere to hide and she could feel the blood rushing to her face more than it already was. Luz laughed again and moved her hand down to Amity’s to squeeze it.

“Two hands on the wheel asshole,” Amity huffed but she couldn’t hide the smile on her face.

“Yes ma’am. Sorry I got distracted by this cute bug,” Luz teased.

“I– You know what– just.. Shh,” Amity stuttered out to think of some reply even though her throat felt like it was just a bit tighter and her heart was beating out of her chest. She reached her hand to the radio and turned up the music and crossed her arms again as Luz giggled.

Amity couldn’t stop smiling for the remainder of the ride, not only did Luz think about her but she thought she was ambitious, dedicated, and cute. All she wants to do is ask what else she thinks of her, but stops herself from getting too nosey. Afterall she had that stupid line to not cross, but with everyday it was getting thinner and she was walking it like a tight rope. And Amity never really did have good balance.

They eventually get to Luz’s place, and she had told her that she lived next to the city, but she didn’t know it was just a five minute drive from her house. All the giddiness she had from the ride’s discussion was replaced with nervousness to meet Luz’s family.

Luz doesn’t let her carry her own bag, so she is carrying both of theirs on either shoulder as she takes her hand and leads her to the front door. Luz let’s them both in and sets their bags right next to the door as she calls out to her mom.

“Mama! It’s Luz and Amity, where are ya?”

“I’m in the kitchen!” She hears a warm voice answer back.

Luz grabs her hand again and takes her down the hallway towards what she can assume is the kitchen. The house is just as homey as their dorm, so she already feels safe here. Her house felt big but empty, this one felt comfortable and welcoming. Pictures of their family hung on the walls along with cute sayings, some in spanish. Amity had taken a few Spanish classes in high school so she only knew a few words. But with Luz pulling her as quick as she was, she didn’t have time to figure any of them out.

When they got there, Luz immediately embraced her mom as they shared greetings. Camila did the most ‘mom things’ that Amity could think of, squeezing her cheeks, taking in her state, telling her she needs to eat more, the whole deal. She then looks over at Amity, and smiles and opens her arms to let Amity embrace her as well. She wasn’t expecting this, but of course she was taught to never be rude. Once she did, she didn’t realize just how much she needed a loving embrace from a mother figure.

“You must be the girl that’s been keeping my daughter out of trouble,” Camila says as she pulls back and observes her nearly the same way she did Luz, acting as if she was her own child.

“Yeah, it’s a tough job but so far so good!” Amity chuckles back.

“Well you’re just as pretty as Luz described you,” She says, earning a small whack to the arm from Luz with a ‘Ma!’

“Thank you,” Amity blushes, looking at Luz who is also blushing.

“Luz told me you had a falling out with your Mom, are you okay?” She asks, concern painted on her face as she still held her shoulders.

“Yeah, I’ll be okay. Your daughter has also been making sure I’m doing well this semester,” Amity says. It wasn’t untrue, but it was also not the full truth. She was not fully okay right now, but as Luz said: She will be.

“Alright, well you both must be tired, so go settle into Luz’s room. I’m making dinner, and Vee should be home soon so we’ll have a family dinner,” She smiles, sending them on their way.

“Thank you, Mama. We’ll be down soon!” Luz calls back as she heads back to the stairs next to the front door, grabbing their bags on the way.

They head up the room, Amity falling close behind and Luz leads her to the end of the hallway to a door with random pictures and a poster on it. The poster is yet another Good Witch Azura one which makes Amity smile.

Inside is a room about the size of their dorm room, and Luz made it seem perfect with decorations, a hammock for her stuffed animals hanging from the ceiling, and a full size bed in the corner. There was a multicolored rug in the middle and closet with mirrors on the doors. Amity could almost imagine Luz growing up in this space, adding things to it as her interests change, adding books to the shelf on the wall, buying plushies still well into her teens. It was perfectly Luz, so in Amity’s definition it was perfect.

Luz sits there stuff down on the bed and then lays down in the middle of it with a sigh, opening one eye after a moment to look over at Amity and pat the spot next to her. Amity rolled her eyes but crossed the room anyway to sit next to her, plopping down and still taking in the whole room.

“Well, whatta ya think?” Luz nudged.

“It’s exactly what I expected. Cozy, dorky, and purple. And it’s giving me more Luz lore,” she laughed.

“Yeah, well I think after actually witnessing the interactions between your mom, your siblings, and a few drunken confessions I have plenty of Amity lore on you,” Luz smirked back.

“There’s not much else to me,” Amity shrugged, “But I’m hoping to get as much intel these next few days so I can write my tell-all on Luz Noceda.”

“Tell-all? Are you gonna expose me for dirty laundry and singing in the shower?” Luz laughed.

“Well that and the constant mismatched socks,” Amity smiled, turning her head finally at her after being able to decently survey the room.

“Whatever you bug-hating sleeptalker,” Luz said.

Amity squinted back at her without a good comeback on hand. So instead she quickly grabbed one the pillows off the bed and smacked Luz with it. Luz took a moment to realize what happened, but she quickly glared back at her with a mischievous smile.

“Oh, Amity, you do not want to start a war with me, I’m the pillow fight queen–” Luz was cut off by another pillow hitting her in the face. She gasped but quickly sat up and picked up the one she was laying on to hit Amity back.

They were never hard hits, and they were both uncontrollably laughing and retorted to climbing on top of the bed to retrieve stuffed animals from the hanging hammock and throwing them at each other.

“Really Lu? A pillow fight? What are we, twelve again?” A voice spoke from the doorframe, stopping the girls in their positions both with plushies ready to be thrown.

“VEE!” Luz yells, dropping her weapon and jumping off the bed toward the girl standing in the door frame.

The two girls laugh into an embrace both exclaiming how much they missed each other as Amity awkwardly stepped off the bed and stood behind them waiting to be introduced. She already knew who Vee was, but she still wanted to be the polite Blight she was.

“Oh! And this is Amity, she’s my best friend and roommate! She’s staying with us for the holidays!” Luz said, gesturing to her.

Vee cocked an eyebrow at Luz, almost knowingly. But Amity decided to reach her hand out to shake hers in order to push the interaction along and stop any awkwardness from happening early.

“Well it’s nice to meet my sister’s best friend, I’m Vee if you hadn’t already gathered,” Vee says, shaking Amity’s hand and smiling at her.

“And it’s nice to meet Luz’s sister,” Amity smiled back, “She said you guys looked similar but I wasn’t expecting you to look like you could ‘parent trap’ your mom.”

“Yeah, we don’t share DNA but we should be put in one of the doppelganger documentaries,” Vee laughed, “Mom says dinner’s ready so come on.”

_____________

After dinner and Amity getting to know more about the whole family, and opening up about her own and her major and all of the things, it’s about 10 PM so they decide to go to bed and all spend more time together tomorrow.

Amity already felt welcomed from the moment she entered the door, but she was also starting to feel accepted, which was something she really hadn’t ever felt until she met Luz, their friends, and now her family.

They were both changed into sweatpants, and Amity had once again stolen a t-shirt from Luz to sleep in. She starts to set up the sleeping bag that Camila had given her on the ground next to the bed, earning a weird look from Luz.

“What are you doing?” Luz questions, an eyebrow raised at her.

“Um.. making my bed?” Amity answers.

“You’re not sleeping on the ground.”

“But your mom–”

“She was just being nice and making sure you felt welcomed, but I’m saying screw the sleeping bag: My bed is huge,” Luz says as a matter of fact. Amity shrugs and rolls the sleeping bag back up to sit next to the door. She climbs into the bed next to Luz.

“I forgot what it felt like to sleep in a bed bigger than a twin,” Amity chuckled as they settled in, facing each other.

“Well don’t get too used to it because we still have a whole semester left of sharing one,” Luz smiled at her.

“We never had to share, that was a decision that you made with your death grip around me every night,” Amity retorted.

“Oh please, my chest has permanently become your pillow, Blight,” She laughs.

“Can’t argue with that,” Amity says, taking it as an invitation to lie like they always had.

They stayed like that for a while, knowing the other was still awake since they were so used to a much later bedtime. They sit in comfortable silence like they have so many times before. Amity knows that you rarely find people you can do that with, but is grateful that she found it with not only her roommate, but with Luz.

“I don’t think I would cuddle with just anyone like this,” Luz breaks the silence.

“Then what makes me so special? Because I doubt it’s the green hair that gets stuck in your face most nights,” Amity chuckled, looking up at her.

“Well, I mean.. You’re you. And I’m me. It just.. I don’t know, fits? Also I got sick of hearing you slam your head against the ceiling trying to climb up to your bed every night.”

“Hey! I hadn’t done that in a while before we started sharing yours,” Amity lightly smacks Luz’s shoulder and looks away to hide her blush from Luz saying they just ‘fit together’.

“Yeah..” Luz laughs back, “But seriously, do you know what I mean? I normally hate sharing a bed with anyone. But with you I don’t even think twice about it…”

“Yeah, I get what you mean. You seriously haven’t cuddled anyone else?” Amity asks, genuinely curious. She hadn’t, but it just seemed easier to her now. Like muscle memory.

“I mean I have, and it felt fine then. But now it just seems normal, like I don’t know if I’d be able to sleep without you next to me now. You’ve pavlov’ed me, ya bitch,” Luz nudges, making Amity giggle.

“You have too, don’t worry,” She laughs, thinking of how to ask Luz who she’s cuddled with in the past.

“It was Clara… If that’s what you’re wondering,” Luz answers her question.

“Oh..”

“Yeah it was completely platonic.. Well at least we both thought it was. Until I realized the reason I’d get so nervous at sleepovers, and would stay awake as she fell asleep on me. I just felt like if I made the wrong move it would be over and I liked being close to her,” She snorts, “God I was so stupid for not knowing sooner.”

“Don’t say that, I mean just think about Boscha with me. She used to tell me that we were ‘perfect together’. If anyone’s stupid, it’s me,” Amity shrugs.

“That’s different and you know it. She liked you for what? Months? And just expected you to take a hint and got pissed when you didn’t?” Amity winced at that. She’s liked someone for months without telling them, but she supposes that she wouldn’t get angry at Luz for any reason.

“Yeah, I guess you’re right. Willow said the same thing,” Amity says.

“Well, always listen to Willow. She’s always the voice of reason,” Luz laughs.

They stay silent again, still just enjoying each other’s presence. Amity felt like she could burst in that moment, but she also is trying to fight the voice in her head that is telling her that Luz thinks this is platonic. She knows it’s a bad choice to not listen to it, because Luz just said that the exact thing she is doing is what Boscha did wrong.

She lays awake for another hour, thinking. The same way Luz described she would with Clara. She has no idea what to do anymore, because she can’t keep lying to her anymore. She thought that Luz didn’t deserve to be hurt again by Amity telling her the feelings she had, but now she’s starting to believe that’s impossible. Now she believes that Luz doesn’t deserve to not know. And Amity doesn’t either.

__________________________________

The next few days fly by as Luz is dragging her around the city she grew up near, to thrift stores, coffee shops, a contemporary art museum, and so many other things. She’s enjoying every moment, but still has the weight of ‘the truth’ on her mind. At some of the small shops she finds little things to give to Luz’s family just as a show of gratitude for taking her in. They aren’t meaningful at all, but it’s still something.

Before she knew it, it was Christmas Eve. She had gotten Luz something long before she knew she would be with her for the holidays, so thankfully she was prepared for one person. It was tradition for Luz’s family(even the extended ones) to have a big dinner on Christmas Eve and do presents that night, Luz told her. They did it so they could sleep in and make a big breakfast on Christmas Day. Amity didn’t really know why because she always thought that any family that celebrated the holiday specifically would do it all on the morning of, but she followed along with it all happily.

It was still the daytime though, and they were all in the kitchen cooking together to prepare for the dinner. Camila had said that Eda, Raine, Lily and even King were on their way over to help out as well. They were listening to Christmas music loudly and singing along into spatulas and whisks.

Amity had never known a family to actually like each other, but this one seemed to even love each other and have fun together. She was soaking it all in and having fun alongside them, feeling closer to them than her own family, even if she didn’t grow up here.

“So did Luz ever tell you why we give each other presents tonight instead of tomorrow morning?” Camila asks nudging Luz as she continues to whisk.

“No she didn’t,” Amity responds, looking at Luz who is rolling her eyes at her mother.

“Don’t let her make you think it’s a bigger deal than it is–” Luz starts.

“Luz, in her normal curious way, wanted to find Santa in the ‘act’ and staked out in the living room one year, hidden. She was about 10 years old, and I had no idea she was in there. And that was the year she found out Santa was, in fact, not real,” Camila laughs.

“I already knew, but Mama and I thought we should keep the ‘magic’ alive for Luz as long as possible. Then we just exchanged gifts that night in order to get Luz to stop crying,” Vee added on, also laughing.

“Stop laughing, that was a stressful night for me!” Luz protests.

“Well that was the night we decided late night presents with a morning to sleep in and have a big breakfast was probably more fun for us anyway,” Camila adds on, hugging Luz from the side.

“I can just imagine Luz now, with the spy gear kit from Kmart she got on her birthday in February that year,” Vee giggles.

“That kit served me a lot in fourth grade, thank you very much,” Luz glared, but quickly lost her edge when she rolled her eyes and started chuckling along with them.

“That is one of the most ‘Luz’ stories I have ever heard,” Amity adds. She’s finally learning more about Luz to tease her about later as Luz already does to her.

“What kind of traditions do you have, Amity?” Camila asks, returning to the stove.

“Not much to be honest. We do give each other small gifts to congratulate each other on the new year, but eventually my siblings and I started sneaking out on New Year’s Eve to watch fireworks around town. I think my mother always knew but let us just have that one thing for us, so I guess that’s kind of our tradition,” Amity shrugs.

“Well, good news! Our town actually has a firework show on Christmas Day at night so we can go watch those!” Luz says, smiling at her.

“That sounds great–” Amity starts, being cut off by a bark from the front door.

Shortly after, a little black dog rushes to them, jumping up on Amity’s lap at the kitchen table while she folds napkins for dinner later. He starts to lick her face and she can’t stop herself from giggling.

“I think you may have some competition, Luz. King loves the newbie,” a woman with light gray hair says as she comes into the kitchen, “Oh, I’ve missed your cooking, Camila.”

“You better have brought the desert, Eda, or else we’ll be stuck with whatever is in my freezer,” Camila laughs, walking over to hug her as well as the next few that enter the kitchen who Amity recognizes as Lily, and presumes as Raine.

Luz and Vee also exchange hugs with the newcomers, Luz hugging Eda for much longer than anyone else. She notices Eda looking at her and then back at Luz with the now familiar eyebrow raised that so many others have given them. She blushes, and continues to pet King in her lap as Eda whispers to Luz about something that leaves Luz also blushing and walking over to Amity to retrieve King.

“I have no competition, King and I are best friends. Amity doesn’t even compete,” She laughs, picking him up out of her lap and hugging him close.

“Hey, I thought I was your best friend,” Amity jokingly pouts.

“I’m sorry Bug, you’ll always be second to this lil’ guy. Isn’t that right, King?” She smiles, earning a laugh from Amity and a bark from King. Lily waves to Amity, and greets her as she heads over to the fridge and puts her dish in there while Eda and Raine head over to them.

“You must be the wonderful roommate that Luz has told us all about,” Eda says, smiling at her.

“And you must be Eda and Raine, it’s nice to finally meet you both,” Amity replies, standing and holding her hand out to greet them.

“Oh, we practically already know you,” Eda says, holding her arms out for a hug instead.

Amity smiles and hugs her, which earns a big grin from Luz. She is let go from the embrace and faces Raine.

“Nice hair, kid,” They wink pointing to their own hair and smiling. She laughs and embraces them as well.

“Oh, I’m definitely due for a re-dye,” She says once they part.

“Well if you want any help, Luz will tell you that I’m an expert at dying hair. You tell me the color and I’ll make sure you have everything you need,” Raine says.

The kitchen is full of people, but somehow Amity doesn’t feel overwhelmed at all. She feels the love all around, and is reminded of the found family she has at Hexside. They spend the next hour cooking and preparing for the dinner, and Amity helps Lily set the table as they make small talk.

Eventually they end up all sitting around the table, Luz next to her in a stool from the counter so Amity did not have to feel like the odd one out. They sit and eat, teasing each other and asking about all of the college adventures of the girls. Amity finds out that Vee is at an out of state school, planning to follow in Camila’s footsteps to be a veterinarian.

She comes to adore the relationship of Raine and Eda, and envies the love they have for each other. Luz had told her a bit about their story, and how they came to find each other again, but she also asks them to elaborate when they are all finished eating and cleaning up the table and dishes.

“Well, like Luz said we met in high school and kind of fell into dating without realizing it,” Eda starts.

“But once we both got to Hexside we had different majors. And we were young and stupid and let ourselves grow apart. I don’t even think I saw her again until graduation, but even after that we lost touch for so long–” Raine continues.

“But then Lily told me that Raine had been hired at Hexside as a professor in the music department. I got curious, Luz gets that from me, and went to a recital they were hosting and well.. Here we are,” Eda finishes. Raine smiles at her and leans in to peck her. Eda squeezes their hand, and Amity is smiling widely back at them.

“Oh you two and your mushy love story,” Luz teases.

“I think it’s sweet, and I hope I find a love like that one day,” Amity smiles.

“I promise, you will. And you won’t even realize it until it hits you all at once,” Raine responds, looking at Amity then glancing at Luz.

Luz lets out a very quiet squeak and quickly turns around to help her Mom with the dishes, and Amity blushes and looks down at her lap. Eda chuckles, and gets up to head out to her car to ‘retrieve gifts’ as she tells the group.

“I didn’t know you were a professor at Hexside?” Amity picks up the conversation with Raine.

“Oh, yeah. I just hide away mostly on the Instrumental Music floor, so you probably wouldn’t have seen me anyways. Luz said you just recently changed your major to Arts Education?” They respond.

“Yeah! I’m really excited, and happy to know someone who has also gotten a degree in their artform and education that I can go to,” Amity smiles, happy to have made another connection to someone that Luz was close with.

“Well that’s for certain. I’m always around, and my office door is always open. And considering Luz and Eda cling to each other like magnets, I’m sure we will be seeing a lot of each other whenever Luz comes over,” Raine smiles and stands up to help Eda carrying in the gifts.

Amity smiles at the thought of being a part of Luz’s life to that extent. But here, with her family during the holidays, she supposes she already is. She shakes her head to get rid of her flush as much as possible before she starts to clear the table to help Camila more.

Eventually, once every dish has been cleaned and dried with a community effort, they make hot chocolate and gather in the living room. Amity usually hated hot chocolate, but the way that Camila prepared it made it her new favorite thing. It’s entirely different from the hot water and powder she’s used to, so she makes a mental note of forcing Luz to make it for her when they go back.

This was the part that Amity was slightly nervous about, she felt terrible that she had not put more thought into the gifts she was going to be giving the people who made her feel more welcomed and at home than she ever felt in her actual one. But she also knew that they would be understanding of it being last minute and based on very little to no interaction with them.

The gift giving commences, and she hands out her gifts while everyone hands out their own. She had just bought them all nonchalant gifts like soaps, a potholder for Camila, owl-themed decorations for Eda and Raine(that Luz promised they’d be excited about, they were), and went in on buying Vee her first pair of scrubs with Luz. It wasn’t much, but they all were grateful anyway. She would save Luz’s for last, of course.

But to Amity’s surprise, they had all gotten her a gift too. Lily had gotten her a new planner to accommodate her new schedule, Vee had gotten her and Luz matching Good Witch Azura key chains, Camila had definitely been tipped off by Luz based on the few novels that she had gotten her that she thought she’d like.

“Alright, for you two, I don’t have a physical gift but instead an offer,” Eda starts, pointing to Amity and Luz who exchange a confused look. “I’m not sure if Luz told her but I own a small shop and café near campus, and I teach woodworking and make things and you get the point. Anyway, for you too, I know you both love that witch series, and Luz never shuts up about wanting a wand of her own. So I thought one day, you two could come in and make them.”

“NO WAY! EDA! THANK YOU!” Luz exclaims, hurdling over the discarded wrapping paper in the room to hug her.

“That’s amazing, thank you!” Amity adds, also getting up to thank her, but not as dramatically as Luz.

“The exception is that you have to come over and have a game night with us, but I don’t think that’s asking too much,” Eda laughs.

“Oh then I don’t know, Eda. I mean I’d love to spend a night with Raine and King, but you?” Luz jokes, earning a nose wrinkling smirk from Eda. “No, but seriously thank you. I’m excited!”

“Me too,” Amity adds, also hugging Eda who hugs her back just as tightly as she did Luz.

They all spend a while sitting around and joking with each other, trying on any new clothing they might have gotten, and enjoying the company each one offers until it gets to be late. Amity and Luz still haven’t given their gift to one another, but it almost serves as a nonverbal agreement to do it privately. They’ve learned to make agreements without speaking a word in the past few months, and Christmas Eve was no exception.

Everyone shares their goodbyes and goodnights and promise to meet back up tomorrow for the fireworks, and Luz and Amity are left alone in the matching PJ sets that Camila had also bought for everyone. They sit in Luz’s bed, facing one another, Luz’s fairy lights being the only thing to illuminate the room much like their dorm.

“Alright, I’m going first,” Amity says, handing her the wrapped gift she had carried upstairs. Luz raises her eyebrows and bites her lip in anticipation as she unravels it. Inside she finds the first novel in the Good Witch Azura series.

“Oh.. thanks Bug, but I already have–”

“Open it, you weirdo,” Amity nudges. Luz opens it to the title page to find the signature of the author, and glances up at Amity with excitement on her face. “Keep going…”

She continues to flip through the book to find nearly every page with highlighted annotations in different colors. She gets to the end to find a sticker as well, a blue Icee.

“So, that was the first copy I ever had of the book when it first came out. I highlighted every little thing I loved about it, and then found out that the author was having a book signing and she signed it for me. She even noted about the annotations,” Amity started nervously, “And I went back with a few other colors of things that reminded me of you, of us, or of Gus or Willow. And the sticker is just a small thing to remind you of how we met. I know it’s not much, but I know you love thoughtful things–”

She was cut off by a hug from a teary eyed Luz. Her breath hitched for a moment before she embraced her back with relief, she had been working on this for about a month. She did it mostly for fun, but by the time she had finished it was time for the holidays and thought that Luz would love it.

“Amity, this is amazing. Thank you, I’ve always dreamed of someone giving me an annotated book but I never actually thought it would happen. Let alone with my favorite book,” Luz pulled back to be face to face with her, “This had to have taken so much time for you to do, and it’s so important to you with it being signed and your first copy.. Are you sure?”

“Positive. I thought of you the whole time I went back through it,” Amity shrugged. Luz flushes and looks down at the book and through it again, taking it all in as Amity watches her.

“Podría besarte ahora mismo…” Luz says, absentmindedly as she continues to flip through the pages.

“Uh, you too, I guess,” Amity chuckled. Luz had spoken Spanish around her numerous times, but it was usually whenever she was venting or under her breath. But she had little to no clue what she was saying half the time, but if she remembered she would look it up later if she didn’t ask in the moment. And she didn’t want to ruin this one.

Luz looked up at her, flushing beet red. She knew that Amity probably didn’t understand her, but with the way she reacted made Amity want to ask more now than ever.

“Your turn,” Luz said, quickly changing the subject. She grabs the gift bag from the ground beside them and hands it to her, setting the book on the bedside table.

Amity nearly rips open the bag out of excitement, and even throws the tissue paper at Luz in an effort to tease her. She pulls out the first thing to find a small light purple case, and unzips it to find a collection of paintbrushes, acrylic paints, and other miscellaneous art supplies.

“So you’re gonna need a bunch of different supplies for your classes in the spring, and I know money is now tight for you, so I bought you some new ones! You can also use anything of mine, but I know that as an artist myself there’s just somethings that you need to have your own of,” Luz explains, smiling at her as Amity goes through the case.

“Luz, these are some expensive brands..” Amity trails off, continuing to shift through it all.

“Only the best for my Bug! And you and I both know that the better quality ones are worth the money,” Luz shrugs, “And I have the same case in a darker purple, so we match!”

Amity puts the case to the side of them and wraps her arms around Luz’s shoulders, nearly on the verge of tears like Luz had been earlier. She had been worried about buying supplies, but this was one thing that she could take off her list of anxiety now. Luz knows exactly how to ease her worries away, and she’s been doing it since they met. So Amity should have known that even when her life fell into shambles, Luz would be the first one to start picking up the pieces.

Luz chuckles into the hug and wraps her arms around her waist, pulling her tight, “You still have one more gift, Am.”

Amity pulls back tilting her head at her, and Luz gestures toward the gift bag in her lap. So she lets go of her to pull out the next thing in there to find a t-shirt.

“It’s the same one you stole from me that one night. I bought you your own, because I can’t have you stealing all my clothes,” Luz teases. They both had been stealing small bits of each other’s wardrobe throughout the months, but Amity was the most guilty of it. She loved the comfort of Luz’s clothes, and the comfort of knowing they were Luz’s.

“Thank you Luz.. but I hope you know this won’t stop me from at least stealing your hoodies.. And flannels.. And maybe a few other t-shirts..” Amity smiles, earning a lighthearted eye roll from Luz.

“I think I could buy you an entire second set of my wardrobe and you’d still steal mine, so don’t worry I had no intentions of stopping you. Besides, I think my clothes look nice on you anyway,” Luz says, her cheeks turning a faint pink as she says it but Amity notices. She blushes right back, looking down at the shirt in her hands.

“Well now I just won’t steal your favorite one anymore,” Amity says, “This is really sweet.. I love them both so much. All I got you was some raggedy old book, and you got me these meaningful useful ones. You always have to one up me, huh?”

“Um.. this is the best gift I have literally ever gotten, Am. You literally put years into this, and now you’re handing it to me? I must really mean something to you,” Luz teases, nudging her shoulder.

“I guess you’re KINDA important to me, or whatever,” Amity teases back. Luz rolls her eyes, and starts to move the tissue paper off the bed, and Amity sets her gifts next to Luz’s on the table. Luz pulls Amity down will her so they are both laying next to each other.

Luz is looking into her, as if she is searching for something. Amity isn’t sure what, but she doesn’t say anything in case Luz is on the verge of finding it. She also doesn’t want to ruin a moment like this, where they are both full of warmth from the entire night and because of each other.

Luz moves her hand up to Amity’s face to guide a strand of her hair behind her ear and leaves her hand on her cheek for a moment. Amity has no doubt that her face is bright red, but she leans into the touch hoping that it and the low light is hiding it somewhat.

Luz chuckles, and Amity immediately knows she’s been caught. She lightly shoves Luz’s shoulder and rolls her eyes.

“Who knew the girl that I crashed into all those months ago would be blushing every time I looked at her,” Luz giggles, settling further into the bed and pulling Amity with her.

This time Amity could hide, so she didn’t even attempt to stop her cheeks from flushing even more at the comment. If only she knew.

“Who knew the girl that dumped my slushie everywhere would be so cocky,” Amity teases back.

She earns a small laugh from Luz, and silence fills the room. Both of them smiling, and content from the day. Amity is left alone in her thoughts, and the voice from a few nights before continues to nag her.

She doesn’t know what comes over her because now she doesn’t want to listen to it anymore, maybe Luz is right. Maybe they do just fit. Luz mentioned how she ‘thought it was platonic’ when she cuddled with Clara, and how she ‘should’ve known better’, so maybe she does now? And it’s Luz, at this point she’s done everything to make sure she's comfortable, even when she’s unconscious, even when she met her crazy mother. She just wants to protect her, emotionally, and even physically from literally getting a concussion.

It’s possible that the love she has been flooded with all day from Luz and her family was seeping into her thoughts, but she started to get a new found courage.

Maybe she’s been wrong this whole time, she’s been wrong about this in the past. Maybe the line keeps getting thinner because it’s imaginary with them, because it was always meant to be crossed. Maybe Gus is right. Maybe all those knowing looks everyone keeps giving them and others when Luz and Amity are together are a language she just needs to learn instead of ignore.

Maybe this was never platonic.

And she’s sick and tired of having a constant internal battle that may be for nothing.

“Luz?” Amity says before she can even stop herself. Subconsciously she was always ready to deal with whatever consequences came from this. She wanted this, and she was finally learning what it meant to go for what you want. Who you want.

Luz never responds, though. Amity looks up at her to find her asleep. She sighs and nuzzles back into her chest, but her courage is not gone. She will tell her, she doesn’t know how or when, but she will. This can’t be a secret she continues to keep. She thinks she would burst if she had to keep listening to a siren that was starting to drive her mad.

______________

Amity doesn’t know when she fell asleep, but she wakes up to Luz still holding her but scrolling through her phone. She notices that Amity is awake and smiles down at her, squeezing her slightly and sets her phone down.

“Merry Christmas, sleepyhead. Dream of me?” Luz teases.

“Of course,” Amity laughs as she yawns and sits up. Luz chuckles and joins her upright, swinging her legs off the bed.

“I think we are awake before my mom and sister… you wanna help me get breakfast started?” Luz asks, standing up and offering her hand.

“Yes, but we should brush our teeth first, your breath is stinky,” She teases.

“If you think mine is bad you should smell yours,” Luz jokes, pulling her up to be standing next to her.

Amity rolls her eyes and follows Luz to the bathroom to brush their teeth. She lets Luz tell her about the day and what they are going to do, but her mind is whirling with the idea of how she is going to finally confess to Luz about everything. She was more than prepared to do it last night when it was just them, but now the idea of telling her when they had a whole day with Luz’s family seemed impulsive and stupid. At least last night if anything had gone wrong they had time to sleep off the initial awkwardness, but there was no cushion this time. So she had to wait until the right time, whenever that was.

By the time they were flipping pancakes and challenging each other to do it with the pan and not a spatula, Vee had wandered downstairs to help them as well. The sisters told Luz that they tried to wake up before their mom every year so they could provide breakfast for her, and at this point it wasn’t much of a surprise anymore but a game the family played to see who would beat the other in ‘who loves who more’. In the end, the whole family came out on top.

Within half an hour, Camila had made her way downstairs and glared at the girls for ‘getting her this time’, but she still helped out with making what was left. By the time the entire kitchen was somewhat a mess, they had more than enough food for the four of them, and they all sat at the counter eating and taking the holiday in.

“So, not that I want you out of the house, but when are you all heading back? I just wanna know how much time I have left with my girls,” Camila pouted, grabbing Vee’s hand next to her and squeezing.

“I’ll probably head back a few days after New Year’s, I have some friends here I’m gonna celebrate with,” Vee responds, squeezing back.

“I was thinking Amity and I headed back tomorrow, which I know is soon but like Amity said the only tradition she has is with her siblings for New Year’s and I don’t want to take that away from her,” Luz shrugs.

“Don’t worry about me, Luz. We can stay with your family. I am more than happy here–” Amity starts.

“And I’m happy you feel welcomed here with my family, but I also want you to be able to spend time with yours,” Luz insists.

“I think you should go back, spending time with the family you have is important when you can,” Camila smiles at Amity.

“Are you… are you sure?” Amity asks hesitantly.

“Yes, we are sure. We don’t live that far away from Gravesfield, and Vee probably wants some alone time with Mama anyway since she does. It’s not like we won’t come back more often now that everyone knows you,” Luz teases, “And besides, I already texted everyone. We are all coming back for New Year’s. Case closed.”

Amity rolls her eyes at her best friend’s stubbornness as they go back to eating and talking about the plans of the day, but she finds a moment to mouth ‘thank you’ to Luz because she was grateful to be able to see her siblings for the holiday like she always had.

Amity took the liberty of packing up most of their stuff into the car just so they wouldn’t forget anything even if it was a shorter drive so that Luz could have some ‘Noceda Time’ as she described it. It also gave Amity time to figure out how she was going to tell Luz everything she had been dying to tell her for so long.

She didn’t want to outright say ‘I think I’m in love with you and have been since you let me sleep in your bed when I was drunk and want to scream-cry every time you call me Bug’, but she did want to make sure there was no room for interpretation on Luz’s end.

She thought maybe she could go with the famous ‘Have you ever thought of me as more than just a friend?’ next time Luz mentioned how close they were, but she also didn’t want to have an open ended question with an answer that would catch them both off guard. She thought maybe she would just kiss her when the moment was right, as if it would be hard considering how many times she’s already wanted to do it in random incidences.

But kissing her would mean that a) Luz may feel obligated to kiss her back regardless of how she actually feels or b) she’d get shoved away in a moment that she would be entirely vulnerable and that would crush her even more, so she threw that idea out of the window immediately.

She had no idea exactly what she was going to say, and for Amity that was new territory. She liked to plan any kind of ‘speech’ and especially a declaration like this, but for her it seemed impossible to get right. She knew what she felt but not how to put it into words, but when the moment hits she thinks that maybe she will. So she keeps her anxiety at bay as they head to the fireworks, bundled up in coats and armed with blankets to comfort them when they sit in the park they are being shown at.

“Don’t worry bug, I’ll keep you warm,” Luz teases her once they are getting out of the car and walking to find a spot to sit. And there she goes again, making Amity melt even in below freezing weather.

Eda, Raine, and Lily are already there, warming up an area for the whole family as King naws on a bone that Amity can only assume was his present this year. They set up a few picnic blankets next to them, all huddled up to keep warm. The Noceda’s swore to Amity that sitting outside in the December weather would be worth it for the show, and Amity didn’t have the heart to tell them she hates the cold. It’s okay though, because they all make her feel warm.

“I’m gonna take Amity to my spot for the fireworks,” Luz says, grabbing their own blankets and hauling Amity behind her to rush up to the top of a hill nearby.

“Have fun, lil’ sis,” Vee yells back at Luz as she sits down next to Camila, making Luz roll her eyes and stick out her tongue.

“She’s only a few months older than me, don’t let her deceive you,” Luz comments, still pulling Amity up with her, “No one ever sits up here for these, I guess because it’s more warm with the crowd of people, but I swear this is the best spot. We found it in high school.”

Amity didn’t have enough air in her lungs once they got to the top to ask who ‘we’ entailed, so she just followed Luz to a giant tree to help her spread out their blanket underneath. Once they were sitting, Luz wrapped the extra blanket they had around them and pulled her close. She felt like she could combust right then and there, and if it wasn’t December she’d be sweating.

With Luz’s arm around her, she took a small leap of courage and clasped her hand with the one that hung from her shoulder. She could feel Luz take a sharp breath in at the gesture, and she looked over at Amity and smiled before she squeezed back.

They stared at each other for what felt like an eternity, with grateful smiles on their faces. And Amity immediately thought that there, alone on top of a hill, with snowflakes beginning to fall, might be the perfect place to tell her. But she still didn’t know how, or where to start. Suddenly every word Amity has ever known escaped her mind, and she forgot how to speak. She opened her mouth to talk, but nothing but air came out.

“Amity?” Luz questioned, with her eyebrows furrowed.

“I–” And before she could stumble out even a few words, the fireworks started in front of them. Both of their attention was grabbed by the display, and Amity felt like she could burst the same way.

She snuck a look back at Luz to see her watching in amazement, eyes glowing, and face being beautifully lit up with each and every one. And that’s when it hit her. Luz thought the same way she did, she felt emotions as if they were gorgeously written prose. They’d both read enough books to know when a love confession like the one she was about to make was raw, and impactful. It couldn’t just be said, not with Luz. She’d understood feelings as descriptions.

And with the warmth of each other in otherwise dreadful conditions, the white snow beginning to softly pile on the grass around them, the tree swaying in above them, and the fireworks exploding in front of them: this was it. This is how Luz made Amity feel. It felt straight out of the fiction they share with each other. There would be no other way to construe the emotions, and Luz would understand her entirely just by saying a few words.

This is how I feel about you.

Before she lost her courage, she turned herself towards Luz to get her attention and squeezed her hand in hers. Once she caught her eyes, she took a deep breath, realizing that everything was about to change and there was no way of knowing how until she said it.

“Luz?”

But it wasn’t her that spoke. And she no longer had her attention. Luz’s eyes trailed behind her, and she gasped only loud enough for Amity to hear her. Her heart stung a little as she followed her gaze to find the person who stole her moment. And in one swift motion, Amity was no longer wrapped in Luz’s arms or in the blanket they shared.

“Clara?”

Chapter Text

The drive back to Hexside was not anything like the ride from. Normally, with Amity and Luz, they can sit and do nothing or talk about nothing but there’s no tension in the air. But this time, there was a twinge of foreign awkwardness that Amity wasn’t sure how much longer she could bear. But she also did not want to pry, so she attempted to bring up any subject that Luz would welcome. 

“So… when did you want to go to Eda’s?” She questions. 

“Oh.. we can probably go before the semester starts. Maybe a few days after New Year’s? If that’s alright with you?” Luz seems like she’s in a trance and not actually paying any attention to anything other than the road. 

“Yeah, that sounds great!” Amity responds. She was hoping that talking about Eda would get Luz to ramble on about her relationship with her, the wand she was going to make, anything. But she stayed silent. So Amity persisted, “So.. who all did you get to come back from break early?”

“Willow and Gus of course, I texted Viney to ask if the building would be open and she said she’d be there. I texted Ed and he said that they’re throwing a New Year’s Eve party.. So yeah.. Everyone. I’m sure Matt will be there too,” Luz chuckles.

“When did you get Ed’s phone number?” Amity laughs.

“What? You get to exchange phone numbers with my entire family and I’m not allowed to have Ed’s phone number after I almost beat him in Mario Kart? Double standards, Bug. Double standards,” Luz ticked. And there she was, her Luz was back. 

“Vee and I have a lot in common, actually. Your mom just wanted someone she could text to check in on you, Lily is my advisor, Eda is well.. Eda. And Raine is gonna help me dye my hair! I have every reason to have your family's phone numbers,” Amity jokes. 

“Oh so now you are going to talk about me to my MOM? What are we? Married?” Luz prods.

Amity blushes at the thought of being a part of her family officially like that, but she knows if she stays silent for too long that Luz will look over at her and read her face and right now, trapped in the car, is not the way she wants to admit everything to Luz. 

“You buy me a pretty ring and maybe, but until then I’m your roommate who your family loves. I’m a Noceda now. Get over it,” Amity shrugs, smirking.

“You did fit into the family well, didn’t you?” Luz briefly takes her eyes off the road to smile at her.

“Now I can officially say I’m your best friend. Hugging AND texting terms with your entire family? And I’m King’s new bestie?” Amity triumphantly proclaims.

“Yeah.. haven’t had a friend like that since–” Luz trails off and noticeably stiffens, and Amity silently curses herself for somehow bringing Luz’s mind back to the subject that was making her so quiet to begin with.

Luz’s trance focuses back on the road as she shifts in her seat. They were about halfway home, but Amity couldn’t bear to sit in 15 minutes of awkward silence. She goes over everything that happened the night before, after Clara arrived.

She remembers Luz leaving her shivering as she ran to greet Clara, but unlike with her family she didn’t introduce Amity. And by the way that Luz nearly jumped away from her the moment Clara was in their line of vision, she thought that maybe she was embarrassed to be seen with her, so she kept her eyes on the fireworks but tried to listen as much as possible.

She couldn’t hear much, but she did remember there being a guy with Clara, and they were holding hands. After that, Luz came back to her and sat about a foot away from her, knees to her chest, barely paying any attention to the show in front of them. Something was wrong, and it has been since she showed up, but she hasn’t found a moment to ask since the fireworks ended soon after, and they joined her family again. Even in bed she faced away from Amity, and although she suspected that she wasn’t actually asleep, she took it as a way of saying she didn’t want to talk about it. 

Amity still doesn’t want to pry, but she needs to know she’s okay. She’s never seen Luz like this, she’s always optimistic, sarcastic, dorky, but never down . And she’s starting to realize that even though Luz is pretty blunt about a lot of things, her feelings are not one of them. If she doesn’t ask, Luz will never tell her. So she reaches to turn off the radio and sighs, earning Luz’s attention. 

“Alright, you’ve been weird since you saw Clara. What’s going on?” Amity eyes her. 

“I haven’t been weird–” Amity narrows her eyes at hers when they make contact which makes Luz break her stiffness to quietly groan, “Fine. Okay. Seeing Clara with that guy was just not something I was prepared for. He was the one who had the graduation party where I realized how I actually felt and I don’t know. It felt like a punch in the gut, okay? And the guy’s an ass too, so that doesn’t make it any better.”

Amity stays quiet, knowing that if she does, Luz will keep talking. And she’s right. 

“And it’s not like I can expect her to know that I had feelings for her, or to not be in a relationship. And she was my best friend for so long, but the moment we went our separate ways for college I had to give myself space so I wouldn’t spend any longer pining after her.. But seeing her again.. I don’t know, I just wasn’t ready for it. That’s all. I’m sorry.. I shouldn’t have been so closed off I just felt so stupid being so emotional about something so small–”

“No, it’s not small. It hurts. If anyone gets losing a best friend to feelings, I do. You just gotta talk to me, no matter how small you think it is, I would never tell you you’re being overdramatic,” Amity comforts, this time taking the lead and reaching for her hand first. 

“Yeah?” 

“Always.” 

They continued to keep their hands intertwined for the remainder of the short car ride back to campus. This time the silence wasn’t too loud. Amity could tell that Luz was still in her own head thinking about it all, but she followed Luz’s methods of grounding like she had done for Amity so many times before. She squeezed her hand, Luz would squeeze back. Luz didn’t let go until they got inside their dorm and set their stuff down. When she excused herself to take a shower, Amity took the free moment to text her siblings to check in with them.

mittens: so.. how was the manor without me? 

em: incredibly boring as usual, mom asked ab you but we acted oblivious.. shes so annoying

ed: it took everything in me to not tell her to fuck off 

ed: but its fine bc we get to be together again for new years.. i have a surprise..

mittens: oh god 

em: don’t worry i’ll do my best to supervise whatever it is

ed: hey! maybe i just wanted to guarantee us ~blight~ time 

em: yeah right ed. how was the nocedas!! did you finally kiss her 

mittens: WHAT? NO! it was FINE asshole. 

                                                                                        ed: shame. shoulda kissed her.. under the snow, with the holiday warmth in the air.. would have thought miss romantic herself couldn’t even pass up that kind of chance.

mittens: you both suck

Amity groaned and collapsed on Luz’s bed tossing her phone on the other end as she stared at the mattress above her. Although directly kissing Luz was never the plan, they were right. She should have told her. Especially before Luz’s previous heartbreak showed up in front of them with some guy on her arm to rub it in her face. Amity didn’t really know Clara, and from what Luz had told her she was probably innocent in the whole situation, but based on the moment she interrupted alone she did not like her.

It was more than likely jealousy of knowing that she was Luz’s best friend for years and also Luz had fallen in love with her, but she didn’t care either way. Her mind was made up, Clara was on her shit list. 

Amity had been fighting her own mind for months now and by the time she was ready to embrace her feelings rather than run from them it was scrambled by the hands of a girl she’s never met. A random encounter. 

And she’s never seen Luz this anxious and thrown off by an interaction, normally she is upbeat in every situation and the emotionally carefree one of them both. So now is not any time to spring a confession that may only cause more anxiety for the person she cares so deeply about, especially not one that feels like a punch in the face after facing the person who was also a best-friend-turned-crush. 

Her frustration at the whole catastrophe made her zone out long enough to let out a yelp when a wet haired Luz plopped down beside her. 

“What are we looking at?” Luz jokes.

“Oh.. nothing just um– thinking, I guess,” Amity turns to face her, but doesn’t move to get up. All of this has her exhausted mentally and it’s starting to make her feel it physically as well.

“Okay… then what are we thinking about?” Luz mirrors her, now face to face. Inches away… There’s no doubt in Amity’s mind that she’s flushed right now, but she’s made her peace with Luz seeing it time and time again. But she also couldn’t tell her that her thoughts have been consumed with jealousy and downright rage for Clara. 

“Uh.. well just,” Her mind continues to search for some excuse to distract both of them, “Next semester. Ya know, it being all new and stuff. Oh, and I guess the no money for tuition part.. Yeah, okay that’s terrifying.”

________________

Well she sure as hell found her distraction, but now she’s starting to hyperventilate. She has no money of her own, her bank account has been wiped clean by her self-righteous mother, and no plan to get a jump start on any of it. And there’s no way that she’d be able to make enough for tuition in three weeks even if she did get a job now. And there’s no way she’d have a job that paid her more than minimum wage at eighteen years old with no job experience. And she has no car to get to this hypothetical job. And–

“Woah, hey. It’s okay. We can figure this out, Bug,” Luz sits up next to her before she even realized she was already upright and losing her breath. Luz grabs her hands and steals her attention away from the spiral happening in her mind right now, “We can even do it right now, okay?”

Amity still can’t seem to catch her breath, so instead she just nods. Luz is giving her the same concerning look she’s given her in multiple other situations, and she moves to get off the bed and kneel in front of her, making breathing motions with her hands. 

“Inhala… Exhala… Just breathe, Am,” She recites, bringing her back down to Earth. Once she does catch her breath, she nods again to ensure Luz she’s regaining control of her mind. 

“What can we do right now?” She finally asks. 

“Well.. I’m pretty familiar with the scholarship page on Hexside’s website. Right now we can find as many as you are eligible for and I’ll help you write your essays and such, okay?” 

“Okay… Thank you,” She whispers back to her. Luz squeezes her hands and moves to grab both her and Amity’s laptop. 

_________________

Once Amity feels her heartbeat slow down and her hands get less clammy, she moves next to Luz on her bed with their feet hanging off and backs to the wall. Luz shows her how to get to the website and they both start searching for the ones that Amity can apply for, Luz asking random questions as they go.

“You wouldn’t happen to be ‘distinguished in fencing’, would you?” She raises an eyebrow at her.

“These scholarships are both weirdly broad or weirdly specific… but no,” Amity shakes her head with a chuckle. She continues to receive emails from Luz of ones to apply for, and they finally have a list of over twenty different scholarships she is able to apply for. 

Luz helps her go through each one’s essay or form requirements and they categorize ones she can send in the same general essay about ‘leadership’ or ‘hardships’ or ones that need specific essay topics. Once they have that, Amity starts writing her 250-500 word prompts and periodically asks for synonyms or if a sentence sounds right. 

Now, Amity has always been a straight A student, so writing these essays were a breeze to her. Not to mention both her and Luz have read so much that they are able to both take creative routes on many of them to set her apart from other applicants which is a skill they’ve both developed to get them similar GPAs in high school. 

Even their essays had an element of metaphor in them, making them both joke about how they could be TED talks. They even watch a few of them to get some inspiration for the topics. 

By a few hours later, Amity was laying vertically in the bed with her legs crossed over Luz as she hung her head over the edge, listening to Amity read the essays aloud.

“...’the only way to be successful is to chase whatever it is that makes you grow. Success is learning that you are the only one who can define it, and advocating for others to define their own.’ Sound good?” She sighs, reading the final sentence of her last essay.

“Change ‘grow’ to ‘bloom’. But yes that sounds amazing, Bug. Let’s submit these suckers and go get some damn slushies,” Luz claps, getting up from her position a little too quickly and wobbles in the bed for a moment.

“Woahhh there, you good, buddy?” Amity chuckles as she fixes her word and copies and pastes it into the last form. 

“Yeah, just a head rush. Really need some sugar,” Luz holds her head and lets out a laugh, “Also, you need to work on your nicknames. I’m not a kid you’re babysitting or an elf, you weirdo.” 

Amity closes her laptop and lets out a laugh, “And what would you suggest I call you?”

“I don’t know, I came up with a cute nickname for you, so it’s your turn. Or I’m gonna start calling you ‘toots’,” Luz smirks at her once the stars disappear from her vision.

“You call me that and I will give you the silent treatment for a week,” Amity points. 

“Well, at least your threats are good,” Luz gets up and holds out a hand for Amity to help her up. They both stretch and put on some slippers and hoodies to head over to the Seven Eleven. Luz actually hands her one out of her closet instead of Amity light-heartedly fighting her for one. Amity can’t stop the smile spreading across her face from the sweet action, making Luz chuckle and roll her eyes. They grab a set of keys and head out the exit by their door. 

“Jesus, it’s cold as hell and we are really gonna get slushies right now?” Amity shivers.

“It’s our thing. Kind of like a ritual to us,” Luz smiles and grabs her hand as they walk towards the street. This time, they look both ways together and Amity doesn’t hesitate to follow her across without the warrant of the crosswalk light changing. No one was really on or near campus during break anyway. 

They part ways like they normally do, Amity grabbing snacks and Luz getting the drinks, and meet at the register. Luz pays, and says that she can cover the next one with a wink, well aware that her bank account has been vacated by Odalia. 

“Okay, I know we normally sit outside on the curb, but you’re right. It’s freezing. But I think we found a better place anyway,” Luz says, leading the way back to the building, but passing their normal entrance by their wing. She instead leads her to the entrance to the basement, and Amity immediately knows where they are headed. 

They set up camp in the hallway that she once was creeped out by, but has since created a sense of familiarity and warmth for the two of them. Their little secret. 

“Ready?” Luz asked, wiggling her eyebrows as she held a peach ring in her hand ready to throw. 

“I never am, it’s just a waste–” She starts, but Luz throws it anyway and this time it nearly makes her mouth but instead just wacks her in the face before she catches it in her hands. “See? What did I tell you?”

“Hey, you caught it this time!” Luz exclaims.

Amity holds the candy in her hands and brings it up between her fingers with a smirk on her face as if to show it off to Luz, “You’re just peachy.”

“Oh.. oh god Am, that was awful,” Luz laughs, clutching her stomach.

“Hey! What about Peach? I could call you that!” Amity excitedly says. 

“Sure, name me after the character you lose with in Mario Kart. Where’s your sense of creativity, Bug?” Luz halfheartedly glares at her, still giggling at the horrid joke that Amity told with such confidence. 

“Well! I’m not gonna call you bestie or buddy, so it’s the next best option,” Amity rolls her eyes, unable to keep herself from smiling as she pops the candy in her mouth. 

“I guess it is better than those, but I mean I don’t hate the alliteration with Bug,” Luz adds on. 

“Okay.. so that narrows it down… Boo, Bunny, Bubba, Bambi,” She laughs at herself for all of those, earning a crazed look from Luz for the mere suggestion of them. “Fine, okay… what else.. OH! Oh! I got it!”

“Well don’t leave me hanging here,” Luz scoots closer to her so that their knees are touching as they sit with their legs crossed on the floor. 

“Maybe I will… just to annoy you, of course. But it’s perfect… well I mean I think,” Amity shrugs with a smile on her face. 

“You’re the worst. And I know you well enough to know that you aren’t gonna change it now. Your mind is set… screw you and your dedication,” Luz rolls her eyes playfully. 

“And here I thought you admired that about me,” Amity pouts, throwing back the playfulness in her own voice. 

“Oh no, I’ve boosted your ego.. I’ve created a monster,” Luz pokes. 

That earns a shove from Amity, but she gets the feeling that Luz was anticipating it. She always anticipated her every move, emotion, and quirk. They’d come to both know each other’s tells and what will push the other to heartfelt annoyance. So she isn’t surprised when Luz takes this as an invitation to throw a handful of gummies in her direction, wasting most of them on the floor, but somehow Amity manages to catch one of them in her mouth. 

“FINALLY! So what, I have to throw a bunch at your face in order for you to even catch one?” Luz laughs. 

“Better odds or whatever,” Amity says through her chewing. Once she swallows, she looks around at the carnage of candy on the ground, “And what did I tell you about wasting food?”

“It was worth it,” Luz shrugs, pulling out one of the few that are left and eating it with a smirk on her face. 

Once they spend another thirty minutes teasing each other and goofing off in the basement hallway they’d chosen to make their secret hideaway, Luz realizes they’d both left their phones in their dorm so they chose to go back upstairs to retrieve them. Amity wouldn’t have noticed if she didn’t point it out, noting that Luz may just be her favorite distraction from the outside world. 

They still take the long route back to their dorm, choosing to survey almost every hallway in the building to find it nearly completely vacant besides the very few students that are there as well. They hear some guy yelling at some game in one room in a wing opposite of theirs, they find a couple on the couches of another watching a movie(and are pleased they didn’t walk in on anything when they did).

The minute they are back to her dorm, Luz grabs her phone and jumps on the bed. Amity does the same, plopping down next to her, but Luz’s reaction to whatever is on it causes her to move further away from her and face the other direction as if she didn’t want Amity to see what was on her phone. 

She doesn’t want to pry, after all Luz deserves her privacy and it’s not like Amity had any right to access whatever was on her screen anyway. But she still feels this nagging to ask, because Luz seemed to retreat back to the same mood she was in on the car ride back to campus. 

She starts to connect the dots and realizes that Clara had probably texted her. And she’s starting to feel like maybe she should have stalled her away from her phone longer.

“She texted you.. Didn’t she?” Amity hesitantly asks. 

“Uh … yeah. She just asked how my break was going so far and said she was happy she ran into me,” Luz doesn’t take her eyes away from her phone while she answers.

“Are you… okay? Are you gonna respond?” Amity pushes.

“I don’t know about either of those questions to be honest,” She sighs, letting her phone fall to the bed, “But she was my best friend for four years so I feel like I owe it to her to like.. Talk to her? I kind of ghosted her, I should at least try to reconnect.”

“If you aren’t ready then that’s also okay, you know? You don’t owe more than you are able to give,” Amity moves closer to her to offer her comfort.

“Yeah..” Luz smiles. 

She was quiet for the rest of the night other than a few casualties. But they haven’t been the kind of people to exchange small talk since before the halloween party.  Still, Amity does want to nag. She’s always been polite, and even with her best friend that she has started to read very clearly. Luz faces away from her like she did the night before. Amity knows there’s been some kind of shift, but she isn’t oblivious to know exactly what it is. But she also knows she’s gonna do everything she can to get the old Luz back. Her Luz.

___________________________

They spend the next few days doing the same things, walking around the empty halls, goofing off, being regulars at the Seven Eleven. They research some job openings in the area to get a head start for Amity, but all of it seems like hell to her. Not the working part, but the actual jobs that she’d be doing. She knows she probably has no room to be picky with any of it, but she’s mastered the art of procrastinating until she has to actually make a choice which they agree would be after New Years. 

It was only a few days until then, but they were doing their usual routine, bored out of their minds when they ran into Viney in their wing. 

“Hey! Is my sister here too?” Amity questions, hugging her. 

“She’s back at her apartment. And you know, duty calls. Literally,” She waves a small flip phone in her hand to indicate that she’s the ‘on call’ RA for the break. “And I get paid time and a half for it since it’s break so I don’t mind.”

“Ahh, that makes sense,” Luz adds, but a gleam coming into her eyes as if a light bulb has gone off in her head, “WAIT! You need a job! You should apply to be an RA! And free housing!” 

“Oh.. I guess you’ve got a point.. But I don’t think they need anymore for the remainder of the school year,” Amity chuckles. 

“No, they don't. But you could apply to be one next year. The application opens soon, I can send it to you when it does?” Viney gleams. 

“Yeah.. thank you,” Amity says awkwardly, realizing that Viney must know exactly what happened with her mother considering how close she and Emira are. 

“Anytime… you doing okay? With everything?” Viney hesitantly asks, taking on a ‘big sister’ role instead of RA.

“Oh.. yeah I’ll be fine, thanks for asking..” Amity sheepishly smiles. Luz, as if on instinct, grabs her hand for reassurance.

“Well.. if you need anything let me know. And I mean that as your sister’s girlfriend, not your RA,” Viney warmly smiles back.

“Unless you can buy us wine since there’s nothing on campus to do during break, I’ll be fine for now,” Amity laughs. 

“Well, I mean.. That would definitely get me fired, but,” She holds up a finger as she pulls her phone out. Within a few seconds the sound of a message being sent is heard, “Your sister is coming to the rescue soon. You all can have something to do over there?” 

Amity looks with her eyebrows and shoulders raised with their secret silent language. We’ve got nothing to do here?

If you’re down, I’m down. Luz answers with a smile and nod. 

Within twenty minutes they are in Emira’s car with the promise of Viney joining them once her shift is over. Emira stops at a liquor store and picks out a new wine for them to try, and once they make it back to her apartment that’s in the same complex as Ed’s, they ask for mugs to drink it in. Serving as some kind of nostalgia for them.. Their ritual, Amity thinks with a warm smile. 

“So… how was the holiday for you both?” Emira asks, handing them their mugs. 

“I’d say it was pretty fun. And Amity is basically a part of the family now,” Luz chuckles. 

“I’m sure it’s a better family than the Blight's,” Emira adds. 

“A lot more love to go around, but I still got you and Ed so I wouldn’t say the family is good for nothing,” Amity teases.

“Don’t forget Hunter, you love him just as much,” Emira laughs.

“Oh please. Love is a strong word for Ed’s best friend and roommate,” Amity rolls her eyes. 

“Wait.. Hunter? That broody blonde guy that was at Ed’s? I don’t think I actually got to talk to him. Isn’t he a sophomore though?” Luz questions, sipping on her wine. 

“Yes, that’s him. And feel lucky, he’s kind of an ass,” Amity chuckles.

“He might be an ass, but he’s protective of you. Not the way Ed and I are, but it’s still endearing.. Sort of,” Emira trails off, “And yes, he is a sophomore. He transferred to Hexside halfway through his freshman year and was basically living out of his car since he didn’t apply for housing before the deadline. Ed had met him on the set of some student film he was in, and I was looking for a way to not live with my brother anymore.”

“And now he lives in Em’s old room, and she lives here. And that’s how we met the most stubborn, cocky, oblivious person in the world. I mean he’s not as off putting as he used to be, and he started to open up to us eventually, but he’s still Hunter.” Amity shrugs.

“So some new guy who, I’ll admit is pretty cute, shows up on your doorstep basically and you’re telling me none of you had a crush on him? I don’t buy it,” Luz smirks. 

“Well first of all, men are gross to Amity,” Emira explains, Amity raising her drink as if it was something to toast to, “And I will admit there was a period of time where I thought I had a small infatuation for him, but I was still pining over Viney which I didn’t realize until I saw her again this year.” 

“And Ed?” Luz asks. 

“Ed… isn’t stupid enough to fall for someone he lives with…” Emira chuckles to herself, catching Amity’s glance for a moment in an attempt to not be too obvious. You bitch. 

“I guess I can understand that… so how did you and Viney meet?” 

Emira chokes on her wine for a moment, laughing to herself. Amity joins in and Luz is left confused, “What.. What's so funny?”

“Well, Emira… was stupid enough,” Amity says between laughs, I have no room to talk. Emira looks at her astonished, a look that says Amity’s exact thought. 

“Huh?” Luz asks, starting to giggle a little bit with them, “OH! Oh my god, you two were roommates?”

“Freshman year. Completely random, and low and behold I pined after her since I stepped foot into that stupid dorm,” Emira sighs, catching her breath from the fit between her and Amity. 

“Huh….” Luz says, looking at Amity with her eyebrows raised. She can’t help but blush and immediately look away and drink her own wine. Luz shakes her head and puffs out a small chuckle at the reaction. 

They continue to learn more about each other, and Amity finds a lot of comfort in two of the most important people in her life getting along so well. But she also can’t stop thinking about the look that Luz gave her. Was it to insinuate that they were in the same boat? Was it that falling for your roommate is absurd? She may be able to read Luz decently, but when it came to how she actually viewed Amity, she felt illiterate. 

While they all talked, Viney showed up around midnight. She made both Luz and Amity swear that they never say anything about their RA drinking with them… multiple times. They did, they liked her as their RA and they wouldn’t do anything to ruin that. 

Viney and Em were cuddled up on the couch, and somewhere along the way Amity and Luz had made their way onto the ground. They weren’t nearly as cuddled up as the lovebirds behind them were, but they were close enough for Amity’s stomach to get butterflies. 

They had turned on some romcom that Viney praised like a religion, and eventually the bottle of wine designated to only Luz and Amity was nearly gone. She had been drunk before(don’t remind her of halloween), but this was a different kind. She felt like she was floating, and she couldn’t get out nearly any words without a grin or giggle. The butterflies never seemed to go away though, almost as if they were just as hazed by the wine, whirling around in her mind and body recklessly. 

She couldn’t even look at Luz without smiling and slightly blushing, but it’s easy to blame that on the wine. They’d been spending the whole movie talking about the plot, both gushing about and criticizing it. 

“They could have literally just admitted all of this in high school and they wouldn’t have to keep missing each other…” Luz giggled. 

“Yeah, but then that would be a very short movie, Luz,” She grinned, “And they had to do all this … like soul searching so they were ready to be together.”

“Soul searching? She had a one night stand and got pregnant! Then married the guy just to be cheated on! What part of that sounds like a desperate attempt to find a soul?” Luz laughed.

Amity giggled back at her with an eye roll, “Oh come on, you’re a romantic. Best friends to lovers who keep searching for something only to realize that what they were searching for was each other?”

“EXACTLY! You get it. I like you, Mittens,” Viney exclaims. 

“Miitttteennnssss,” Luz hums. 

“No… please God no, not you too,” She whines. 

“No worries. Bug is so much more sweet and cute like you,” Luz pinches her cheeks and scrunches her nose. 

Usually Amity would react to a comment like that with wide eyes and probably choke on her own spit, but instead she grins and giggles. The butterflies were getting a mind of their own and taking over hers. Luz winks and turns back toward the movie pulling her phone out of her pocket as she does. 

Amity looks over to the couple on the couch to clarify she wasn’t dreaming. Both Viney and Emira are covering their mouths with their hands as if they were containing their own joy from the comment. She knew from that alone that her mind wasn’t deceiving her and that was in fact flirting. 

If she had any moves, she would have made them then. But she doesn’t, she is a baby deer learning to walk in this situation. And there was no way she could blatantly ask her sister right there what to do, so instead she just turned her body to match Luz’s. She sat with a shit-eating grin as she continued to watch the movie. Even if she knew what to do, doing it on the floor of an apartment with her sister and her sister’s girlfriend watching them as if they were the main plot line of the romcom was not the way she wanted to start anything with Luz. Not with an audience. 

She fumbles with her hands close to her face, trying to hide the grin on her face, and is stealing small glances at Luz. The grin fades slowly as she realizes Luz had a more serious look on her face as she stared and typed on her phone. She usually tries to not invade anyone’s privacy by looking at their phone screen without their permission, but this time she can’t stop herself.

It’s Clara. She’s texting Clara. And from the looks of it, they’ve been having a whole conversation besides the one she knew about a few nights ago. She quickly shifts so that she is slightly further away, trying to stop herself from looking anymore. 

The movie is almost over, the happy romantic ending coming for the couple. But she is staring on the ground trying to articulate her thoughts about what she just discovered. Luz had been on her phone a lot more recently, but stupidly Amity didn’t sum it up to anything other than there’s not much to do during break on campus. Willow and Gus were going to be back on New Year’s Eve in time for the party, so it was just them desperately finding a way to pass the time. 

Luz was probably texting her this whole time. ‘Rekindling’. Amity is breathing deeply, whether it was to calm any anger or keep herself from crying she wasn’t sure. She knew she had no room to be upset or jealous, but the wine stole any rational thought. 

Before she realized, the movie was over and Emira was grabbing blankets for them to sleep on the pull out couch. She shakes herself back to reality to seem fine to everyone, but she knows out of anyone she can’t fool her sister who gives her a questioning look. She just shakes her head in response, Later. 

Emira and Viney tell them goodnight and head off to the only room in the apartment, leaving them on the bed. She has no idea what to say, conversation now seemed so difficult to her for fear of saying anything too obvious about her feelings. She lets Luz do the talking instead. 

“I think I actually really like that movie,” Luz says as she faces Amity. 

“You spent the whole time basically criticizing it,” Amity responds, slightly coldly. 

“Yeah but the whole time it seems like the odds are against them. Like the feeling will never be returned… but then there was an actual satisfying and happy ending,” Luz shrugged. 

Amity just nodded, feeling like there was a lot more weight behind Luz’s words than the plotline. 

Luz moves to her back and stares at the ceiling for a moment, looking deep in thought.

“But my point still stands, if Rosie had just told Alex that she loved him early on then they would have been happy the whole time. It would have saved them both so much pain… That was like the only moment she could tell him until the end, because after that she is pining after him while he’s with the other girl. It was heartbreaking,” Luz adds on. 

Amity was now sure that Luz was not just analyzing the film. Amity turned herself to also be staring at the ceiling. She kept her face blank, but her emotions felt raw. She had spent the whole movie thinking about Luz, and Luz had spent it thinking about Clara. 

Luz didn’t really say much more, but she was still deep in thought as if she was contemplating something. Amity wanted so badly to go back in time and tell Luz sooner. Find a better moment, find a moment before. 

This time, it was Amity that faced away from Luz. And it took everything in her power to be quiet as a few honest tears rolled onto the pillow. 

_____________________

Ed’s apartment was not nearly as packed as it is for parties. It was exactly the people Amity wanted to spend New Year’s with.. And Matt. 

They had all come back earlier that day, and it made Amity feel a lot more happy than she did all day yesterday as she avoided both Luz and her sister. She didn’t want to explain the situation to Emira and she couldn’t handle watching Luz on her phone with the knowledge that she’s most likely texting her. 

She secluded herself to the library on campus that was surprisingly open(she tried the doors to every building until one opened), turned off her phone, and distracted herself. She prepped for her new classes as best as she could with the syllabuses that were posted, filled her new planner from Lily, looked for jobs, and continued to do literally any work she could until a student employee told her the library was closing.

She walked back to the dorm, music in her ears hoping it would continue to distract her. But of course, she still thought of Luz in every song. She slept in her own bed that night, claiming she just needed to spread out after a day of working on stuff. She wanted Luz to protest, pry, or notice something was wrong. But she didn’t. She was on her phone. 

So being at this party with a room full of her closest friends and family was a perfect way to avoid Luz. They’d been there for an hour, but it was still only 11 PM. She still had an hour to distract herself with other people before it was reasonable for her to leave. 

Luz agreed to drive that night, so Willow, Gus, and even Matt took advantage of that. Amity couldn’t take the chance of getting drunk and pouring her heart out, so she slowly sipped on some mixed drink that Emira had made for her. 

She was sitting on the couch watching the three tipsy freshmen play some game on the TV with their phones. They were laughing at each other’s submissions to the prompts, having the time of their lives. She smiled warmly at them, content with just witnessing it all instead of playing with them.

Luz was sitting in the love seat across from Amity, engaged with her friends periodically but ultimately distracted. Amity tells herself that she’s just on her phone because she is playing the game with them, but she knows that’s not true because she would easily be winning with how funny she is. 

She sighs and tries to shake her thoughts and just enjoy the moment she is in with everyone once Emira sits on the couch facing her and blocking her view of Luz. 

“So, do you wanna talk about it or do you want me to keep acting like nothing is wrong?” Emira says quietly so Amity is the only one to hear her. 

“I don’t want to talk about it tonight,” Amity says defeatedly, earning a sigh from Emira who moves to get up, but she grabs her hand before she does, “But I will. Eventually, and I’ll come to you when I’m ready.”

“Understood. I won’t pry until you say something,” Emira squeezes back, smiling, “But for tonight, you might want to drink up. Give yourself some courage to maybe get a midnight kiss?” 

“That’s literally the worst advice in the world,” Amity laughs. 

“Okay well don’t get drunk because you can’t kiss anyone that way. But it may cheer you up?” 

“Noted,” Amity chuckles. 

“Come on, join the big kids in the kitchen. Take a break,” Emira fully gets up and offers her hand to pull Amity up. 

She rolls her eyes but follows her anyways, excusing herself from the tension only she could feel. Emira parted with her to stand in front of her girlfriend who was sitting on the counter. She could feel the sigh run through her body out of envy, but she is cut off with a nudge from beside her. 

“Who let you in, dweeb?” Hunter scoffs. 

“Take that up with your roommate. Dweeb.”

“I might have to,” Hunter chuckles, crossing his arms and looking off into the living room, “How did you get friends like that? Are you paying them?”

“Did you miss the memo? I have no money anymore,” Amity laughs, “So even if I did, I guess they decided to stick around anyway.”

“They seem like the type to stick around,” Hunter smiles, “I didn’t know it was possible to find so many people that care about you. Hell, that one broke into my room to console you so I guess they really do.”

Amity follows his eyeline to Willow who was giggling about whatever was on the TV. “Yeah, Willow would tear down a building if her friends needed her,” She smiles warmly, “She’s also the only person I know who could handle as many arts majors as she does while keeping her GPA perfect.”

“Yeah, that takes a very strong person. What’s her major?” He asks.

“Biology,” She says proudly for her friend, looking back at him to find his eyebrows raised in astonishment. “Yeah, I know. And a focus in Botany, she wants to help conserve habitats by studying native plants…. Or something like that, I barely understand anything she means when she talks about her major. But she loves it, and I love her.”

“She seems super cool… how’d you meet her?” He nonchalantly pushes.

“Through Luz. Her, Willow, and Gus met during move-in. I think they all needed a cart and there was only one left and so they decided to share one and something about Luz rolling down a hill in it? I don’t know, every time they tell the story they can’t stop laughing,” Amity laughs. 

Hunter lets out a small puff of air with a smile, eyes still locked on Willow as they had been for the majority of their conversation. Amity looked between the two of them, Willow who is oblivious and nearly tackling Gus as they both laugh, and Hunter whose eyes are nearly twinkling. A small part of her thinks it’s sweet, but a much larger part tells her to take advantage of the situation to tease him. 

“Do you want her zodiac sign, too? She’s single,” Amity smirks. 

“Wha– Shut up! We can’t have one nice moment,” He grumbles, facing back towards the others in the kitchen.

“She’s a virgoooo,” Amity sings, terribly Hunter would add, leaning against the counter with the girls. 

“Who is?” Ed raises an eyebrow. 

“No one,” Hunter groans, making Amity laugh even more. 

The group seg-way into another subject, and Amity doesn’t have to worry about being included or feeling awkward. She feels the tension she had earlier melt away, smiling at the way her siblings make everything feel at ease. Everyone may be here to celebrate the night, but the Blight siblings knew that it meant so much more than New Years to them. Without it being spoken, they all are appreciative of each other’s presence after the tense holiday.

Hunter had other friends in his majors, but he claims they all aren’t worth spending any actual time with because if he ‘has to hear about how Quentin Tarantino is the best director ever’ he might commit a felony. So he tends to only hang out with them, and although he won’t outwardly admit it, he only wants to be hanging out with them. 

And as for Viney… Well, Viney would choose Emira over anyone. 

“Mittens, Em, follow me,” Ed nods his head to the back sliding door through the living room. 

They follow him, Amity catching eye contact with Luz as she passes, who grins at her as a greeting and watches her leave onto the porch. Amity smiles back, but moves along so she doesn’t get drawn back into that. Once the three of them are on the porch, Ed smirks at them as if they were supposed to read his mind. 

“Spit it out Edric, it’s freezing out here,” Emira shivers. 

“Patience, sister. Now, I know we always sneak out on New Year’s for this, but without being back at the manor and having all those rich neighbors who crave any kind of excitement of their own, we might miss it. But,” He holds a finger as he pulls out a pack of fireworks from behind the patio furniture, “It’s time we make our own traditions, ladies.”

“This is such a stupid idea,” Amity huffs, catching Ed’s face drop, “A sweet one, but a stupid one.”

“I agree with her.. But we’ve never really been known to make the smartest decisions,” Emira smiles. 

“There’s a parking lot behind the complex that’s nearly abandoned???” He deviously grins.

“So… I’m guessing we are doing this?” Amity looks at them both with her own smile creeping on her face. 

They all exchange looks of giddy approval before Ed howls, “HELL YEAH WE ARE!”

“Go grab everyone, there’s only ten minutes to midnight. Also please grab our coats, I think he’d get hypothermia and wouldn’t notice because of the adrenaline running through his body right now,” Em chuckles to Amity.

“Men and explosives… it’s animalistic instinct, I swear,” She snorts as she heads inside, leaving Emira to do her promised ‘supervising’. 

Peeling the three drunk stooges from their game would have been impossible without the help of Luz, but their strength was heavily compromised from laughing as they did. Hunter helped by leading Willow out with them( figures) , and Viney handed Amity some plastic cups and a bottle of champagne to pop once they got down there. Matt and Gus raced each other to the bottom of the hill behind the building, Matt tumbling towards the bottom and getting up quickly to claim his victory. 

“I guess when you’re that drunk, you feel invincible,” Luz snickers. Amity was so focused on making sure everyone made it out the door that she hadn’t noticed that it was just her and Luz standing at the top of the hill overlooking the herd below them.

“Yeah, but you know it’s gonna hurt in the morning,” She chuckles, starting to head down in front of her. 

“Hey, you’ve been pretty quiet tonight… you doing okay?” Luz catches up to her. 

“What? Me? I’m totally fine! It’s New Year’s!” Amity exclaims. Real subtle, nitwit. 

“Wait, really? I had no idea!” Luz replies sarcastically, “But seriously, do you wanna talk about it? There’s only so many minutes left in the year to get it off your chest.”

Amity lets out a single loud laugh before she can stop herself, coughing slightly to cover it up. The sheer amount of things she’d like to tell Luz so she wouldn’t carry the weight into the new year that was minutes away was astounding, and Luz had no idea. 

“I’m fine, really Luz,” She says, reaching the bottom of the hill. Luz stops her by the hand before they start joining the others.

“Amity… tell me,” Luz pleads.

“I–” Amity is caught in Luz’s eyes, and she could say it then. She could say that being with her on New Year’s Eve was all she ever wanted. She could say that she imagined this being their first kiss if she was braver. She could say that a blue slushie only ever tasted good around her. She could say that she doesn’t just blush that way around anyone. She could say that she also didn’t like the idea of cuddling anyone until she did it with Luz. She could beg her to stop talking to Clara, both to stop Luz from getting hurt and so that she could see what was right in front of her. She could say that they do just fit. She fits with the Noceda’s, Luz fits with her siblings, they fit. She could pour her heart out, she could scream it at the top of her lungs and it would only be a fraction of how loud it’s been consuming her thoughts. 

Before, she had reckless confidence that made her want to risk throwing it all away if it meant that they could possibly have it all. Before, at the top of another hill, the cold didn’t phase her. And now, at the bottom of a different one, it was bitter. The only part of her that wasn’t was the hand that Luz was holding, and she can’t begin to imagine how much it would hurt to feel her pull away.

So, she could say it, but that would mean saying something she isn’t sure hasn’t already been said in some way. If Luz wanted her, she would have said something in between the countless blushes, the dozen nights they’ve shared a bed, or whenever they held hands. But she didn’t. And with one run in with a girl that gave her all of that but without even a hint of the love that Amity has for her… she ran towards it. 

And just as clarity rang through her mind, a firework exploded behind her. Their friends hollered and hugged each other, calling for Amity to pop the champagne. Luz’s face lit up gorgeously like it had on Christmas, her eyes twinkling with the sparks. 

“Happy New Year’s, Bug,” Luz grinned at her. 

Amity’s mouth opened to return it, but she was silenced by a ringtone and Luz pulling away from her. 

“It’s Clara… I’ll be right back,” She murmurs, answering the phone and secluding herself from both Amity and her friends. 

And the only thing left in Amity’s mind was the cold irony of it all. Maybe Odalia was right. The clock struck midnight, and her false hope withered away. 

Chapter Text

Amity’s feelings about everything that had happened had to take a backseat. And there was a lot of reasons for that: figuring out which scholarships she was awarded with, focusing on the new syllabuses that got posted every few days for her new classes, preparing for those classes, getting a job, budgeting herself, making plans to apply for student organizations to get more involved, the list goes on and on. She made sure it did too, because if her mind was focusing on preparing and bettering herself then there was no room to think about anything… else. 

If she overcommitted herself, then she wouldn’t have to be in the dorm as often. Maybe she’d even help out with Gus’s show in some way, display her artwork in a student showcase, volunteer at the daycare on campus… her mind was filled with distractions.

Her biggest distraction right now was the fact that she still needed a job. And she had read through a lot of job descriptions, and her pickiness was taking precedent in a lot of ways. But before she decided to bite the bullet, she decided she’d take a risk. Of course she didn’t have her car, but she did have to see her car in the parking lot every time she walked out. And her mother’s threat of it serving as a reminder sunk into her skin every time she saw it. 

But it backfired in some way, because instead it motivates her. She’s lost a lot, but found parts of herself because of it. So she walks past it now with her head held high and a smile on her face, because she wouldn’t have made any other choice. 

On her walk, she slightly regrets not asking Luz to drive her, but she had been distracted for a  while after New Years. She couldn’t hear the other end of the call, but Luz sounded extremely concerned. She then made sure that everyone had a ride home before she left in a hurry. 

She stayed up all night, hovering her finger over the call button to check in with Luz. She clicked on her contact to realize they were both still sharing their location with each other, and Luz did say that it was useful whenever the other needed to make sure they were okay. So she opened the location to see her about an hour away, at Glandus. Where Clara went to school. 

And that stung like a bitch. 

After that, Luz was mentally and socially MIA. She was in the dorm but didn’t say much to Amity other than nonchalant greetings.

Amity thought that maybe this is the time she should pry. Luz means a lot to her, and if she is getting involved with Clara again then she should check in and ask if she’s thought it through completely. But starting that conversation without sounding like a jealous girlfriend was an entirely other hill she’d have to climb. 

So.. Amity’s feelings took a backseat.  

She was so wrapped up in her thoughts that she didn’t even remember getting on the bus and she was about to miss her stop. So she shook it off and pulled the wire, and thanked the driver as she stepped off. She wasn’t going to let any of this make her lose sight of her priorities right now: get a job, make money, be a good student. And she was hoping to cross the first one off her list. 

The door she opened had a welcoming bell hung above it that rang whenever it opened, and she took a deep breath and collected herself before she saw the exact woman she wanted to talk to. 

“Hey kid! Didn’t expect to see you here today, is Luz with you?” Eda wipes her hands on her apron as she walks over to hug Amity. 

“No, it’s just me,” she smiles, “But I did want to ask you something…”

“That doesn’t sound cryptic at all. What’s up?” She laughs.

“Well… I know you went to school with my parents so this shouldn’t be surprising at all, but my mother was not happy when I changed my major to Art Education because it doesn’t make enough money and I was supposed to take over the business and now she has cut me off and it’s a whole thing. Anyways, that’s besides the point. And that point is… I need a job,” Amity says all in one breath. 

“You could have led with that because I would have said yes either way,” Eda smiles warmly, “I never need to know why, I am always ready to help you kids out. Especially one that is so close and important to Luz.”

Amity lets out a sigh of relief, “Okay, thank you. I don’t know much about woodworking but I think I would do really well on the café side of things!”

“Well, I could always use some help. Did you want to start training today or come back another day?” 

“I think I can stay for a few hours today if that works?” Amity smiled. 

“That absolutely works, it’s a slow day so it’s perfect to start you off,” Eda says, turning around to head back behind the counter, “there’s an apron right there, you can take that home. Clean it occasionally if you don’t wanna smell.”

“Noted,” Amity laughed, following her behind the counter as she put it on. 

Eda explained all the machines to her, the toaster, coffee maker, espresso machine, coffee grinder, blender, etc. She let her know they get their pastries from a bakery nearby, so the only food prep is making sure they look presentable in the case and toasting it if a customer asks. 

She spent a few hours following Eda’s lead whenever a customer came in, but she wasn’t wrong about it being a slower day. The café part of the shop was open late at night during the school season so it was catered to college students, which made Amity feel more at ease about being able to work as many hours as she could. 

Her favorite part so far was making the lattes and cappuccinos: pulling the espresso shots, adding the flavors, and steaming the milk. She was terrible at latte art which of course humbled her as an art student, but Eda swears she will get better with time. Before long, it is dark outside and she is helping Eda clean up before they both can leave. 

“So where’s Luz today?” Eda questions.

“Oh, I’m actually not sure,” Amity responds, hoping it was enough. It wasn’t. 

“Sounds like you’re leaving something out there. You and Luz are attached at the hip, what’s going on, boots?” Eda stops sweeping to look at Amity as she wipes down the tables. Something about the way Eda is looking through her soul right now is making it incredibly difficult to come up with an excuse. 

“Fine,” Amity sighs, “She’s been really distant and weird because she reconnected with her best friend from high school that she used to have feelings for.”

“Clara?” Eda asks.

“Yeah. Clara. And now, she has been glued to her phone and she went to visit her at Glandus at midnight on New Year’s after she called Luz and then she just disappeared for a day,” Amity has completely stopped wiping down any tables, instead she is flailing her arms for emphasis. 

“If she’s talking to Clara again… Do you know what happened between them?” Eda hesitates. 

“I think so? They were best friends, they acted like they were more, but then Luz realized her feelings at graduation and then Luz stopped talking to her as much so she couldn’t get her heart broken, right?”

“Well yeah, and Clara kissed her that night as well,” Eda says as if she is adding on to knowledge that Amity already has. 

“She what?” The rag was dripping from her hand as her knuckles turned white. 

“Oh. I guess Luz left that part out,” Eda sighs, “Clara and her were on the deck at that party, and yes I know she was drunk but she would never tell Camila that, but the reason she realized that Clara was more than just a friend to her was because Clara kissed her. And afterwards, Clara acted like it never happened. Like she was using Luz. After she already was forcing Luz into emotional labor for her. I never liked that girl…”

“I guess that makes more sense why Luz was so upset about seeing her again,” Amity trails off. 

“Yeah, the girl broke her heart. She talked to Luz about boys she had a crush on, saying things about how she wished she could ‘just date her’. The worst kind of friend for a queer teenager,” Eda groaned. 

“Seriously… I wonder why she never told me that part.”

“She was torn up about it, and she felt even more guilty about the fact that she needed to separate herself from her. She kept telling me that ‘Clara had always been there for her’ and I had no idea how to tell her that Clara was never there for her. She just used Luz to comfort herself, but she played with Luz’s feelings because she knew she could,” Eda was visibly frustrated at this point. 

“I’ll be honest, I didn’t like her before. And now, I have to admit I kind of hate her,” Amity huffed. That’s an understatement. 

“You wouldn’t be the only one. Hell, you should talk to Vee. She really hates her,” Eda chuckled, “Anyway, she barely listened to me in the past about it, but you mean a lot to her, so maybe she’ll listen to you. Talk to her, okay?”

“Okay… sorry to distract us both from–”

“No, thank you for telling me. It’s nice to know she has someone like you looking out for her,” Eda smiles. 

___________________________

Classes were starting, and Amity was getting the hang of everything at Eda’s. She had worked quite a few hours since that night, and they never talked much about Clara anymore. Eda knew that if she needed to step in, she would. And Amity would ask her to. 

She was preparing herself for her new classes and new extracurriculars she was now a part of, but talking to Luz had now become her first priority. She knew it shouldn’t be, she had been working on always putting herself first recently. But when it came to Luz, she didn’t care. 

However in the days that followed after her conversation with Eda, she couldn’t find a good moment to talk to Luz. She was either working on something, leaving to do something, sleeping, and basically anything but talking to Amity. Luz didn’t even know she was working at the café yet.

And now that the semester was starting, that meant that she could actually spend some time with Luz while she was less distracted with everything. They were in a few classes together so they would have to work together in some, and there’s less time for her to possibly go and visit Clara like she had during New Year’s and they’d both have less time to FaceTime(which Luz would do in the common room). 

And Amity was still Luz’s best friend and roommate, so of course she came into their first class together on Monday and sat next to her. Like nothing was different. 

“Hey, Bug!! Are you excited for your new classes?” Luz nudged her shoulder as they waited for the professor to walk in. 

“Yeah. I think Viney is a TA too,” Amity replied. 

“This class will definitely be even better with the two of you in it,” Luz winked. They fell silent for a moment before Luz leaned in to lower her voice, “Also I wanna say sorry for how distant I’ve been. I should have talked to you more, and we were supposed to go to Eda’s. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine… Is everything okay?” Amity was testing the waters, they weren’t going to have this conversation now. However, she didn’t want it to come out of nowhere later. 

“Everything is fine with me. It’s just… Clara’s boyfriend kissed someone else on New Year’s after he said he was gonna be with his family, and she had to see it from someone else who sent her a picture. And like I said before, she was my best friend at one point, so I just wanted to be there for her,” Luz rambled as if she was nervous for what Amity would think. 

“Oh, okay. Well… you’re a good friend, Luz. You always have been, the best if I say so myself,” Amity nudged her back. 

“Yeah. But it’s just that, I promise. There’s no need to worry about what I’m sure you’re worried about,” Luz gave her an assuring smile, just as the professor walked in with Viney and announced that they were going through the syllabus today and it would be a short class. 

Amity had already read through all of the syllabuses for her classes to keep herself busy, so this week was going to be a breeze for her. While the professor read through it, she let her mind wander off. She felt more at ease about Luz, noticing that they still genuinely talked to each other how they always have. Luz was transparent, and Amity trusted her. She still knew she needed to have a more in depth conversation about it, but this was a start. 

The class ended early as promised, and Viney approached them both to say hello and how she’s excited to mentor them both, then they headed off to get some food before their next class. She, with the help of both her advisors, set up her art classes where on Mondays and Wednesdays, and on Tuesdays and Thursdays she had education classes. So she had Friday’s off to work at the café, and she was pleasantly surprised by how much she looked forward to going to work. 

“So, what have you been up to? I’ve been missing the adventures of Amity,” Luz chuckled as they sat their stuff down in what served as a food court on campus. 

“Oh, well I signed up to help paint some sets of Gus’s next show, I decided to join a few student orgs on campus, and I got a job…” Amity was honestly excited to tell Luz about the last part.

“Wow, Bug. I’m excited for you with all of that, and really proud of you for everything. Like I said, dedicated and passionate,” Luz held out her hand to walk them to their favorite restaurant on campus, of course Amity took it. 

Maybe nothing really did change…

“But also spill the details about the new job! Where is it, what’s the manager like, do you like it so far?” She continued as they walked.

“Well… it’s kinda close to campus, I love the owner, and I love it so far… and I'm pretty sure you love it there too,” Amity smirked.

“It’s not like I go anywhere around campus besides the Seven Eleven and Eda’s so I’m not really sure what you mean. Wait, did you get a job at Seven Eleven??? FREE SLUSHIES???” Luz was nearly jumping up and down.

“Well, no, but now I’m wishing I did… but you’re close,” Amity was enjoying this guessing game, felt just like before Clara showed up.

“Wait… Did you actually get a job at Eda’s?!?!” Luz was now fully stopped in the middle of the court, in the way of all of the student traffic.

“Maybe…” Amity held out the word as she smiled excitedly back at her. 

“NO WAY!!! Eda barely hires anyone unless she really likes them, honestly I didn’t even think she’d give me a job… anyway that’s SO EXCITING!!! I’m so happy you actually found something worth doing and I'm sure Eda pays well considering she barely has any other employees,” Luz exclaimed. 

“Yeah!! I was so nervous to ask her but I hopped on the bus and basically thought the worst thing she could say was no. But she didn’t and trained me on the spot, I kind of really love it,” Amity started to pull them forward to the line in front of the small restaurant. 

“You could have asked me to take you! And now I wanna ask her… Of course if that’s okay with you. But working with both you and Eda? Dream team,” Luz smiled, quickly ordering her usual chicken wrap and smoothie. 

Amity did the same, the only difference being the type of smoothie. They both loved each of them, so they shared them every time. Once they were waiting for the food off to the side, Amity answered Luz. 

“I am absolutely okay with you working with me. But Eda might like me more so maybe she won’t say yes,” Amity sarcastically shrugged. 

“You are so funny, Bug. So funny,” Luz scrunched her nose at her as both their orders were called out and they headed back to the table to find Gus and Willow both already there. They always sit at this table, nice and secluded in a small room off to the side of the actual food court. They already knew what each other’s backpacks looked like so whenever the first person got there, they’d claim it. And they weren’t really too worried about their stuff getting stolen. 

“How's the new classes, Amity?” Willow asked as she took a bite of her sub from another restaurant on campus. 

“Well I’ve only been to one, but so far so good. How’s Hunter?” Amity smirked.  

“Oh, um— He’s cool. He’s good. Yeah, he drove me home after New Year’s and made sure I got in okay and even made sure I had water so you know he’s just a good guy. Good friend. Yeah,” Willow stuttered out, and Amity can’t help but notice this is the first time she’s ever seen Willow so flustered. 

“Okay, now I wish I stayed to see whatever happened with that,” Luz laughed. 

“And I’m wishing I stayed sober enough to see it,” Gus joins in. 

“Well I was both there and pretty sober, and you guys looked pretty close,” Amity teased. 

“He was just being kind to make sure I got home safe since frick and frack decided to stay at Ed’s,” Willow gestured to Gus, “Nothing happened you weirdos, he left the minute I laid down. He’s just a good guy.”

Now Amity really didn’t care to step into the role as wing-woman for Hunter, but she was more than happy to do it for Willow. Hunter was an ass, but he was ultimately good, and Willow would probably humble him a little anyway. Amity genuinely thought it would be a match made in heaven. 

The whole table was silent and looking at Willow with an eyebrow raised. She groaned, set down her sandwich and stared them all down.

“Look, I don’t know what you want me to say. The guy was sweet, sure he’s cute, and I am happy I had someone to make sure I got home safe,” Willow shrugged. 

“And all I’m saying is that Hunter isn’t like that with literally anyone ever,” Amity chuckled. 

Willow rolled her eyes and huffed as she picked up her food again, silently asking if they would move on with the conversation. So they did, teasing each other was fun but they knew when enough is enough. Gus talked about his stage makeup class, Willow talked about her lab that she’s looking forward to that afternoon, and Amity and Luz talked about their classes as well. 

They might have not spent any time together after New Year’s, but they immediately fell into their old dynamic. They listened as the others talked about how excited they were for certain things this semester, excited for the shenanigans to ensue, even excited for the future parties Ed will undoubtedly have. 

Amity was smiling about her friends as she walked back to the art building for her next class. When she walked in she saw Bo and she decided to sit down next to her. 

“Amity! What are you doing here?” Bo asked as Amity settled into the seat. 

“Well, I changed my major, so here I am. I’m glad to have a familiar face in the class, I thought without Luz I would be all alone,” Amity laughed. 

“That’s exciting that you changed! I always thought you were a little too artsy to be a business major. And me too, I wasn’t able to fit in this class last semester so I don’t have a lot of friends in this class either,” Bo chuckled, “So you and Luz have been getting along? I knew last time we talked it was awkward between you two.”

“Oh, yeah. We are inseparable now,” Amity smiled, “After the Halloween party I came home drunk and spilled my guts out to her and surprisingly she didn’t get scared away.”

“I always thought she was pretty cool… but ya know, Boscha,” Bo rolled her eyes.

“Yeah… how um–” Amity cleared her throat, “How is she doing? You all still hang out?”

“She’s fine, I guess. And not as much as we used to. Boscha kind of was mean after that party so I decided to isolate myself from them and make other friends in my art classes. But I’ve seen her a few times recently and she’s definitely not as mean as she was, so I guess she’s better,” Bo shrugged. 

“That’s.. Good to hear, I guess,” She replied, feeling awkward.

“But , I’d love to hang out with you and Luz! If you want, I could always use more art friends,” Bo smiled. 

“I think that’s a great idea,” Amity returned the smile. 

Class got started, and Amity started to doodle in her planner as she partially paid attention to the syllabus projected on the board. Maybe it was just the spirit of ‘rekindling’ that was surrounding her recently, but she loved the idea of getting to see Bo again. They always did get along. 

Her last class of the day was an ‘introduction to visual art’, one that the majority of the freshmen had already taken. So she didn’t recognize any of the faces in the class and sat down in the back of the class as it started. 

Alone in her thoughts, she was thinking about her conversation with Eda. That’s when she remembered that she said that she should ‘talk to Vee’. Once the class let out, she did exactly that on her way home. 

Amity: Hey Vee, it’s Amity, not sure if you have my number saved yet.. Anyway, Eda told me I should reach out to you about something that’s happening with Luz, can you talk?

Within the minute after she sent it, her phone was ringing. 

“Hey Amity! If Eda told you to reach out to me then it’s probably something important, what’s up?” Vee greeted her, not wasting any time. 

“Yeah, it kind of is. Luz and Clara are talking again…” Amity answered as she decided to take a seat on a slightly secluded bench on campus. 

“Fuck. Okay, when did they start talking? Do you know what’s going on?” Vee sighed into the phone, and Amity could imagine her rubbing the bridge of her nose right about now. 

“Well she ran into her during the fireworks on Christmas. After that…” Amity explained everything up to Luz telling her ‘there is no reason to worry’. 

“Okay, well I know for a fact that Clara probably asked Luz to come to her on New Year’s because she would never ditch all of you guys, especially if she was the DD. I swear to god that girl just expects everyone around her to drop everything for her,” Vee grumbled. 

“I also thought that was weird the way she quickly just disappeared. She didn’t even call me, I was worried so I checked her location to see where she was,” Amity admitted. 

“That’s sweet that you guys have each other’s location on… Anyways, try to talk to her soon about it to truly see if you think it’s just Luz being a ‘good friend’. Luz has a tendency to let people walk all over her, and Clara has a tendency to take advantage of that. Let me know what happens, okay?” 

“I might try to talk to her tonight, or tomorrow I’m not sure. But thank you, it’s good to have you and Eda who were there during it all so I can get a better read on it all,” Amity responds. 

“Yeah, it was kind of a shit show. And it sucked to see Luz so heartbroken, but let me know what she says,” Vee says, but before she hangs up she adds more, “Amity she really trusts you and cares about you. So she’ll listen to you if you tell her that Clara might be using her again. I’ll talk to you soon.”

Amity let out a long exhale and prepared herself to head back to the dorm. She told herself that if Luz was there, she wouldn’t let herself back down. 

___________________________

Amity waited in their dorm for a few hours, trying to occupy herself with random work that she didn’t really have since there was no homework to do yet. Instead she decided to finally start that book that Luz told her to, easily getting sucked into the world of Kyoshi. 

She was lounging on Luz’s bed, a few chapters in when there was a knock on the door. She thought that maybe Luz had forgotten her keys again, and she didn’t want to check her location anymore. Instead of Luz, it was Gus in the doorway. 

“I knew Luz wasn’t going to be here but you probably would so we gotta talk,” He said, letting himself in. 

“About what? Where’s Luz?” She asked. 

“She’s still in the arts building, one of her classes already gave her homework so I came back when I knew we could be alone,” He crossed his arms and looked at her. 

“That doesn’t sound cryptic at all…” Working with Eda was rubbing off on her, “What’s wrong?”

“What’s going on with Luz? Specifically you and Luz? We haven’t talked in a while and something’s up with her and I just need to know what happened. Did you tell her? Did it go wrong? Did you kiss her on New Year’s before any of us saw it? She disappeared after so–”

“No. I didn’t kiss her and no, I didn’t tell her. I think you’d be the first person I would let know if I did,” Amity chuckled. 

“Okay… then what’s actually going on?” Gus asked slowly.

“Hell, I’ve talked to both Eda and Vee so I might as well tell you,” Amity paced around the room telling what felt like a monologue she had memorized at this point. 

Once she finished, Gus looked confused and was staring at the wall as if he was trying to connect the dots.

“I don’t get it… I–,” He sighed and looked at her, “Look, there’s a reason I said you should tell her. I’m like 99% sure she likes you too, so her dropping everything for someone who hurt her? Let alone distancing herself from you to do it? It doesn’t add up.”

Amity had to push down the butterflies in her stomach that rose from someone else confirming what she already thought about Luz’s feelings for her. Gus had insinuated it, but she never truly believed it until recently. 

“Clara and her were really close for four years. And as far as Eda and Vee told me, Luz had some sweet spot for her that allowed Clara to sorta manipulate her. So I guess she’s falling into old patterns? UGH! I don’t know,” Amity let her head fall into her hands out of frustration. 

“I think you should talk to her,” Gus stated. 

“Yeah, you and the rest of the damn world,” Amity huffed. 

“Well, yes, talk to her about Clara. But I mean talk to her. Tell her, Am. I think now more than ever is when you should.”

“Then it’ll just seem like I am only telling her because I’m jealous, and that’s not how I wanted us to start something,” Amity exclaimed. 

“There might not BE something to start between you guys if she gets sucked back in by the same girl who had her hooked for four years!”

“Okay, okay. I get it,” she sighed,  “I was so close, Gus. I was so close to telling her, you would have been proud. But Clara LITERALLY interrupted me.”

“If what Vee and Eda told you was true, we all don’t want her back in Luz’s life. If you were ready then, you’re ready now. I have faith in you,” Gus chuckled. 

“Thanks… I guess ‘the talk’ won’t be able to wait, huh?” 

“I don’t think it should, no. Text me if you need me okay? She should be back soon,” Gus hugged her, knowing she was anxious about it all, and left with a smile. 

Amity collapsed onto the bed as she mentally practiced the conversation in her mind, finding different answers to things Luz could possibly say. Her heart was racing, and she knew couldn’t lead by admitting her feelings. The conversation about Clara had to come first. 

An hour of Amity deep into her conversation planning, there was still no sign of Luz. She huffed and decided to take a shower to ease her mind and literally clean off the stressful day. She was still thinking about it all, but at least she could pamper herself slightly to calm down. 

She felt like the weight of the world was on her shoulders and hers alone. Everyone kept telling her that she had to be the one to have the conversation as if it was some intervention for Luz. And maybe it was in some way, but Amity still can’t find the exact reason it had to be her to do it. But if Eda and Vee who have known life the majority of her life believed that Amity would be the one to talk some sense into her, then they must know something she doesn’t.

Or they’ve already tried a million times to get through to her and by the time she realized it too she was already heartbroken. 

“Hey, Bug? I’m home!” She snapped out of it once she heard Luz’s voice, and the nerves came back to her in full swing. But she promised herself, Eda, Vee, and now Gus she would do this.

She dries herself off and changes into the comfier clothes she had picked out and looked into the mirror to try to find some mantra to keep her confidence. The only thing she could think of was ‘ Do it for Luz.’

Because even if it didn’t work out, even if she just is able to plant the seed in Luz’s mind that allowing Clara back into her life was not a good idea, then she would have done something to help prevent Luz from getting heartbroken again.

Luz was curled up in a ball on her phone, ‘hermiting’ as they called it, when she stepped out. But as soon as she saw Amity she smiled and put her phone away and extended her arms as if to ask her to sit on the bed with her. 

It was a sweet gesture, and as much as Amity wanted to curl up next to her after she had been so elusive the past few days, she knew she had to start the conversation before she lost sight. But she did at least sit down next to her on the bed. 

“Hey,” Luz pouted. 

“I–um, we need to talk,” Amity staggered.

“Oh?” Luz laughed before she saw the expression on Amity’s face and sat up, “Oh. What’s going on, Bug?”

“It’s about Clara,” Amity said slowly.

“What about her? I told you that you have nothing to worry about–”

“You didn’t tell me she kissed you, though,” Amity softly interrupted. She didn’t want to sound like she was attacking her, but pleading for a reason why. 

“You talked to Eda, didn’t you?” Luz sighed. 

“Yeah… and Vee,” Amity admitted.

“I knew you getting my family’s phone numbers was gonna bite me in the ass,” Luz grumbled.

“I reached out because I was worried, Luz. You left on New Year’s and then isolated yourself, I didn’t do it to corner you. I needed advice and more information about what happened between you two–”

“I’m not mad you reached out to them, Amity. I would reach out to Ed and Emira if I thought you may end up hurt, so I don’t blame you,” Luz comforted her. That was the first wave of relief that washed over Amity, but now she had to ask the harder questions. 

“Okay.. so why didn’t you tell me she kissed you?”

“I–” Luz started before she bit her lip and hung her head so she couldn’t make eye contact, “I was embarrassed. This girl kissed me and I was hopeful it would be something more and then she acts like it never happened? That’s embarrassing, Amity.”

“Luz, you have done plenty of embarrassing things in front of me. So have I. It wasn’t just embarrassment, so tell me.”

“Okay, fine. First of all, that was my first kiss. And she didn’t even feel the same about me. It was embarrassing, but it also hurt. A lot. I didn’t want to say it out loud, I had already cried my eyes out to Eda about it. I didn’t even tell my mom, because I didn’t want to. So I didn’t want to tell you of all people. I didn’t want you to know that the first person that kissed me, someone who I was extremely close to, regretted it enough to dismiss it even happening. Okay?” Luz was nearly crying, and that was something Amity had never seen. She grabbed her hand which made Luz look up from the ground at her. 

“Luz.. I am never going to judge you,” she pleaded, “I am never going to make an assumption about you based on someone else’s actions. You are my best friend, you are so much more than something to forget about.”

“I’m sorry.. I know that’s a dumb reason to not tell you something. I just.. I didn’t want you to think I was forgettable,” Luz sniffled as she chuckled slightly.

“The first time we met you nearly tackled me to the ground and stained the common room floor with a blue slushie. I promise you I will never be able to forget you,” Amity chuckled with her. Yet another thing crossed off the list of things to talk about, but now another question arose, “So if she hurt you why are you letting her back into your life, Luz?”

“I– I don’t know,” Luz sighed, “I guess because I think I’ve healed from it a lot already. You, Willow, and Gus made me realize what a real friend is and how they should treat you, and I guess I just wanted to… I’m not fully sure to be honest.”

“Do you think it’s really the best idea?” Amity asked softly. 

“She’s just… something changed. She’s not the way she used to be. She actually seems to care about me unlike how I thought she did in the past. I guess some part of me wants to know if she really did forget, or if she just was scared.”

“Oh.. okay,” Amity took a deep breath, “But even if she is kind to you now, that doesn’t excuse what she did.”

“But what if she really did just forget, Amity? What if she really was just that drunk? If she wanted to act like it never happened then she wouldn’t have reached out, right?” Luz was looking at Amity as if she was pleading for her to agree.

Luz wanted to believe that Clara hadn’t treated her like she was disposable after everything they went through. And Amity wanted nothing more than to give her that, not to push her towards Clara, but to not break her heart again after she is hopeful again. 

“Luz– okay. Let me ask you this, and be honest with me. What would you want to happen if she did ‘just forget’? Say you and her get close again, say she kisses you again. Is that what you want? Or do you want her to be just a friend?” Amity felt like she was on fire waiting for an answer. 

Luz didn’t give her one, though. She just looked at her for a moment before she furrowed her eyebrows and looked away, pondering on it. So Amity continued. 

“Because I don’t think you can be ‘just friends’ with someone you felt so strongly about before, not when you didn’t get any closure.”

“Yeah, but… I don’t even think she’d want that with me,” Luz finally answered. 

“But do you want her to want that? Because if that’s how you’re going into this, then you might get hurt again,” Amity was practically praying that Luz would say something more than she was. 

“I don’t know what I want, Amity,” She sighed, meeting her gaze again, “Can I ask you something?”

This was not in her practiced dialogue, and she’s never been good at improvising. 

“Sure.”

“Do you want me to stop talking to her?” Luz asked, grabbing her other hand. Their eyes hadn’t broken contact, but Amity could tell that Luz was searching for something, “Because I will. If you want me to, if you think that I should. You asked if I wanted her to want me, I’m asking if there’s a reason I shouldn’t, Bug.”

Amity had no idea what to say, and she feels, no knows that there is so much more weight behind the question. And Luz’s eyes were glistening with something Amity hadn’t fully recognized. She knows how she wants to answer, but this is a side of Luz she hadn’t really seen yet. Luz is vulnerable right now, and Amity is not Clara. She is not taking advantage of her like this. 

“Luz… you deserve to be wanted by whoever it is you want. And I’m not gonna tell you what you should or shouldn’t do or talk to. I’m not your …,” And she wasn’t, but it still stung to say out loud. 

Luz bit her lip and nodded her head slowly, “Right. You’re not my girlfriend.”

Before Amity could conjure up some response, Luz had gotten up and grabbed her backpack. She looked like she was shaking, and she wouldn’t look back at her. 

“Anyways, thank you for talking to me. I.. have some homework to get done, so I am gonna be out for a while,” She stammered, then quickly left the room and Amity to sit on her bed alone. 

Once she had a moment to take in everything that just happened, she could feel her chest start to cave in and tears well up in her eyes as she pulled her knees up. Whatever test the universe or Luz just gave her, she failed it. And Amity has never failed a test. The feeling was horrible. 

Chapter Text

Amity had checked Luz’s location again that night to make sure she was safe because by 3 AM, she was still not home. That’s when she made a mental note to never do it again because she found something she didn’t want to find: she had driven her right into Clara’s arms. 

Amity had never hated herself more than in that moment, but now she also had to tell all the people that had put faith into her that it was misplaced. So after her education classes the next day, she started with Eda at the end of her shift.

She told her everything. Right up until she saw her location and had no idea if she even made it to classes today. And she cried to her. A lot.

“Amity, this is not your fault. Some part of Luz had already made up her mind, and once a person does that there’s nothing you can do but be there for them when it doesn’t work out,” Eda soothed her. 

“Yeah, but I answered the question wrong. I could have told her right then and there that–” She stopped herself.

“I know. I’ve seen you two together, I know what you wanted to tell her. But I also know it probably felt like you would be doing it for all the wrong reasons, so don’t be upset with yourself. You tried, and that’s all that matters,” Eda smiled at her sympathetically. 

“But what if that was the only way I could have stopped her?” 

“‘What If’s are a waste of time. I hated myself back when I realized I let Raine and I grow apart, when I didn’t just tell them how I felt. But it all worked out, didn’t it?” 

She thought about that interaction for a while, Raine and Eda had been a relationship she aspired to. And if it worked out for them, then that was enough hope to fuel her to push forward. 

The next few weeks she let herself find her footing. Not as a distraction anymore, but as something she genuinely wanted for herself. She started to take later night shifts as the café reopened as a late night coffee shop for students to come late to work on homework. At first she thought that the shop being opened so late was just gonna make her shifts drag, but it turns out that’s when they were the busiest. College students really were nocturnal. 

She would even come in on her nights off to do her own homework, the environment was incredibly motivational to get anything and everything done as people her own age did the same. It also was inviting to her since she was there so often. 

Luz also did actually get a job there, so on her nights off that’s who was working with Eda. But luckily Eda didn’t mind her making her own drinks when she was off the clock, so Luz didn’t have to serve her. 

They weren’t on bad terms by any means, but there was some unspoken tension between them. And neither of them were going to be the first to mention it. They’d shared small conversations, but it was like a switch was flipped. And looking for a switch in the dark has never proven to be easy. 

_______________________

A little into February is when she got to start working on the set of Gus’ play. She had signed up to help with the construction and painting part of it all, but after the set designer saw her sketching in the theater one night he asked her to help a little with the design as well. 

Of course she didn’t get to design the entire thing, she was just a freshman, but apparently this professor was known to take in a student who he sees potential in to help him out for shows to give them experience in making something come to life. He liked that she wasn’t a Theatre major so she was able to look at it with a different perspective after reading the play. 

They were taking a more abstract route on Alice in Wonderland, which was already abstract so designing it all was insanely fun. She came to the stage between classes to help construct it all, and Amity really thought she’d be the last person to learn to use power tools and yet here she was, using nail guns, drills, and even the saw at some points(which was terrifying if you asked her). Some part of her loved the fact that on some level it came easier to her because of her dad, even if the relationship had been strained. 

When she was off one night and had extra time outside of her homework, she agreed to come by during a rehearsal to start painting it all. She was more than happy to come because she knew she’d get to watch both Ed and Gus in their process of creating their characters as she helped create the set. However she didn’t get to pay much attention to them as she helped sketch out the design onto the wood to be painted, and once they called a five minute break for everyone she was faced with the awareness of who actually was there. 

She didn’t even think to check the cast list because it meant nothing to her, but she regrets that choice now as ‘Alice’ approaches her. 

“Hey... you,” Boscha says awkwardly. 

“Oh! Hi... how have you been?” Amity chirps. 

“I’ve been… okay. I mean, I got Alice as a freshman so how bad can I be?” She chuckles. 

“Yeah, congrats on that by the way,” she responds, rocking on her heels as she looks around the room for her brother or Gus to save her. 

“Thanks. How have you been? And how did you get into all of … this,” Boscha motions to the stage.

“I’ve been.. Okay too. And I loved seeing the shows last semester so I thought I’d sign up to help and spend time with Gus and Ed. I had no idea I’d get roped into actually designing though, but it’s a lot of fun,” She shrugs. It was undoubtedly awkward between them, but it didn’t feel as awful as Amity imagined it would have. 

“Well you’re doing great, I think. The set is coming together really nicely, and it’s cool as hell,” Boscha laughed. 

“Thanks…” Amity nodded. She wanted out of this conversation, but there was also so much left unsaid between them. And this may be the only time to say it all.

“Listen–” They both said at the same time, chuckling at the timing. Amity gestured for her to go first. 

“I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. For all of it, I should have actually communicated with you. I shouldn’t have expected you to feel the same and get upset when you didn’t. You didn’t deserve any of that, and I was embarrassed which is why I acted the way I did. And that’s not an excuse for anything, but I just… I’m sorry I hurt you,” Boscha blurted out, not making eye contact until the final apology. 

Amity took a deep breath before she took her by the hand, “It’s okay. I also shouldn’t have been so oblivious. I should have told you sooner how I felt as well, and I wish everything didn’t happen the way it did. I’m sorry I hurt you, too. We both lost our best friend, Boscha.”

“I hope you know that I don’t blame you for any of it. I worked hard to make myself a better person and that started with realizing how I victimize myself. So you have no reason to say you’re sorry, but thank you for listening,” Boscha smiled, squeezing her hand as she let go to get back to her script. 

Amity didn’t expect to get any kind of apology from Boscha of all people, but people have been surprising her lately. The closure of it all made her feel like a weight she didn’t know she was still carrying was taken off. There were obviously other stressors that weighed her down, but she was trying her hardest to be grateful for the good things that were happening to her. Because the first time in her life she believed she deserved them. 

_________________________

ed: valentines party at mine on friday, mittens tell all your lil friends(besides boscha i’ll keep them all away)

mittens: don’t bother… i think we kinda made up?? either way i don’t need to avoid her anymore so invite whoever you want and i’ll do the same lol 

em: proud of you ams!! also i will be taking you up on the blight shot this time 

ed: LETS GOOOOOO

Amity chuckled at her phone before she put it away to pay attention to the conversation happening at the lunch table they always sit at. Sans Luz. It was technically Valentine’s day today, but having a party on a Tuesday has never served anyone right. 

“Gus, you can’t eat the same thing everyday. We have four years here and you’ll get tired of it,” Willow laughed. 

“Someone doesn’t just get sick of a burger and fries. And a milkshake? Come on! It’s classic,” Gus said as he took a bite. 

“Back me up here, Amity,” Willow peered at her.

“I don’t know, Willow. He has some sound logic,” Amity shrugged, earning a fist bump from Gus. 

“Whatever… So has anyone really seen her? I’m getting a little worried about—“

“About who?” Luz sat her stuff down in her normal seat next to Amity. 

“You? Where the hell have you been?” Gus asked. 

“Just... busy with the semester that’s all,” Luz said, but Amity sensed it was probably a lie. 

“Right… Anyways, party at Ed’s this weekend. Anyone can come, I think it’s gonna be a big one,” Amity added, hoping to lure Luz into spending time with them all. 

“NICE! I knew there had to be one soon,” Gus clapped loudly, stealing quite a few neighboring table’s attention. 

“So we’re all going, right? Can Emira get us—“

“Already asked, and she’s never said no in the past,” Amity interrupted Willow with a chuckle. 

“Okay so we’re set?” Gus asks, mostly looking for a response from Luz since they all already know that the three of them would be going.

“As long as I’m done with homework, I’ll be there,” Luz said nonchalantly. The other three exchange a look, agreeing that they’ll drag her there if they have to. They all missed spending time together, the four of them. And Luz has never usually been someone to pass up a party anymore. 

They spend the rest of the afternoon going on about random tangents, and throughout it Luz participated more and more in the conversation. Amity was hoping like hell that it meant she was coming back around, that she just needed space from her and everything would be back to normal soon. 

But the way that Luz was avoiding directly talking to Amity in the conversations made it seem like it wasn’t that at all. It wasn’t like she was acting as if she didn’t exist, but in the past Luz would nudge Amity whenever someone said something that they had some inside joke about. Or they both would say ‘we’ more than ‘I’, or Luz would clutch Amity’s arm whenever she was laughing about the conversation. They would even kick each other occasionally under the table like it was a game of tag that only they knew about. 

Today, Luz was barely looking in her direction. And once again, it stung. 

___________________________________________

Amity shuffled through the back door of the café holding her apron and bag while music still played in her ears from the bus ride over. It was normally open in the early mornings and reopened at 6 PM on weekdays, so she was there to reopen the store for the night crowd of college students. And it was a Thursday which meant that the projects and homework due on Friday drew in a lot of people so they could get caffeine to start they’re all nighters. 

Eda doesn’t normally come in until after the place opens since she trusts the girls to do what is needed before then on their respective nights they work, so Amity would come in and blare music as she did the side work. She also would sing terribly with the comfort that no one else would be there for a while. It was therapeutic for her, and one of her favorite parts of the shift that wouldn’t end till around 2 AM. 

She plugged her phone into the system and pressed play, and the second the music started she heard a loud bang from behind the counter. She turned it down and rushed behind it to see Luz, who was probably stocking up the cabinets below, rubbing her head. 

“OWWWW, holy hell that hurt!” She grumbled. 

“Luz? I didn’t think you came in on Thursdays? You have an early class tomorrow…” Amity said as she helped her up. 

“My class got canceled in the morning and Eda asked if I could come in tonight so she could stay home with Raine… I think it’s their anniversary. Jesus, Am. You could have given a girl  warning before you ruptured my eardrums,” Luz chuckled, dropping her hand from her head to probably make sure it wasn’t bleeding. 

“I didn’t think anyone else would be here… I’m sorry I do this every time I reopen the store,” Amity smiles awkwardly. 

“It’s fine,” Luz smiled back, “Now I know what you felt like every time you climbed up to your bed.”

Amity snorted at that comment which earned an enthusiastic look from Luz which of course made her blush out of embarrassment. She rolled her eyes and went to turn the music off before Luz stopped her. 

“You can keep it on, it just scared me,” She giggled. 

“Okay,” Amity turned around to start moving the chairs down from the tables, “Thursdays are usually a little chaotic because college students procrastinate everything, so I’m happy you’re here too. Eda sometimes gets distracted talking to people..”

“That’s Eda for you,” She shrugs with a smile, “And thanks.. For preparing me. That makes sense.”

“Yeah...”

Amity genuinely wanted to scream, or at the least take Luz by the shoulders and shake her. It was almost heartbreaking how two people like them could go from reading each other’s minds to barely being able to have a small conversation. 

She was also absurdly aware that the music she had been playing was from the playlist she had been building since she met Luz. She may have never actually said it, but she wore her emotion on her sleeve, or rather her cheeks. But she’s praying that Luz just thinks that Amity’s taste in music is just… whatever this was. And it was too late to change it now. Instead she attempted to string up any kind of conversation.

“So… your birthday is next week, right?” She asked. 

“Right, it is.. I’m surprised you remembered that before I did,” She chuckled as she took a moment from stocking behind the bar. 

“Did you wanna do something this weekend for it? The four of us? We were gonna plan something but we weren’t sure if you’d be busy.”

“We don’t need to have two parties in one weekend, it's fine,” Luz dismissed.

“We will, if you want? It’s your birthday Luz, if you don’t want two parties then we can just bring a cake and candles to Ed’s. They’re theatre majors, a chance to sing anything is like gold to them, even if it is ‘happy birthday’,” Amity laughed. 

“Yeah, okay. We can do that, I guess,” Luz smiled as she continued to prep the café.

Amity didn’t want to push it any further but she also hated the way Luz wasn’t excited for her own birthday. She looks forward to any holiday, and her not noticing it was even Valentine’s day earlier in the week let alone her own ‘holiday’ meant something was eating at her. Amity knew it was their entire conversation two weeks ago, they hadn’t talked about it since. 

However, she’s sure that she’s talked to someone else about it, even if it wasn’t in exact detail. 

But all of that had to be pushed to the back of her mind as they unlocked the doors and waited for the floods of students. She didn’t even bother to change her music to the usual playlist that Eda had for the shop, instead she just focused on her job. 

And her job turned out to be a lot more fun with Luz by her side. Even with everything that has(or hasn’t) happened, they were working like a well oiled machine. Luz did say at one point that they made a good team, and tonight further proved the point. 

When the only people left to be served were the same people who had been there for hours working, they took a break at the bar. Amity leaned across it and Luz leaned back on it, both resting on their elbows. 

“You were right about Thursday being hectic, but I think I made more tips than I ever have,” Luz grinned. 

“I always enjoy it though, I think it makes the shift go by quicker when it’s busy,” Amity shrugged. 

“It also helps that you and I work as well as we do together, maybe Eda should schedule us at the same time more often,” Luz pointed out. 

“I think it has more to do with our class schedules, but yeah. I agree,” Amity jabbed her side. 

“Stop! You know I’m ticklish, asshole,” Luz laughed.

“Exactly, when have I ever not taken advantage of that?” 

“You’re a menace, you know that, Bug?” Luz sneered. 

Amity hadn’t heard that in a while, so naturally she blushed and scrunched her nose as a response before she turned around to ‘clean up’ the counter. And Luz laughed slightly like she always did. 

The rest of the shift they spent cleaning what they could so that by the time it was time to close they had nothing else to do and could go home a little earlier. Out of habit, Amity checked the bus schedule on her phone to see the bus schedule. She was more than thankful this semester that the buses ran late since it was a college town, and she took advantage of it daily. 

“What are you looking at that for?” Luz questioned from over her shoulder making Amity jolt, “HA! Got you back from earlier!”

“I was just checking when the bus would be here, geez,” She laughed halfheartedly.

“Why? I’m driving you home?” 

“Right… okay that makes a lot more sense. Sorry, I guess I just am used to doing that every night,” Amity said sheepishly. 

“Have you been taking the bus everywhere? That’s so unsafe,” Luz regarded.

“How else would I get around the city? The cafė is just out of walking distance, at least when it’s cold out,” Amity pointed out.

“Amity, I told you I’d take you anywhere you needed to go. I just thought Eda would be picking you up before shifts, I’m sorry. I’m driving you from now on if I don’t have class,” Luz said. 

“Okay, thank you,” she was in no place to say no, and fighting Luz had never proven smart. 

They turned out the lights as they headed out and nearly bolted to the car because of the cold. Amity rolled her eyes as she got in, catching Luz’s attention. 

“What?” She laughed.

“You need to wear a jacket! It’s well below freezing, Luz,” Amity interrogated. 

“Considering both Eda and my mom have been telling me that for years, I don’t think you will get through to me,” Luz said. 

There’s a lot of things your family has been trying to get through to you, but you won’t listen. 

“Turn on that playlist you had, I like it,” Luz added as she started the car and pulled her seatbelt on. 

So maybe she didn’t recognize what it meant to Amity, but either way she was more than happy to oblige. 

_______________________________________

The next day dragged on for Amity throughout her shift. She didn’t have class, so she was missing her friends on campus. Eda had always been good company so she wasn’t bothered much, but she was tired, she always was by Friday. 

“Did you and Luz have fun last night? The sales you all made seems like you did,” Eda said sarcastically. 

“It was busy, but we made it work,” Amity said as she poured a latte.

“You definitely did,” Eda chuckled, “And how are you two? After everything?”

“It’s different, I will say that. But I think, or I hope, we are gonna be okay,” she sighed. 

“I don’t know a lot about you, but I know a lot about her. And Luz always makes it work, somehow. From what I’ve gathered, you’re very similar in that way,” She winked as she took the drink from Amity to give to the table that ordered it. 

She wasn’t exactly sure what to take from that. Luz does always make it work, and to an extent so does Amity, but the way it was going to actually work itself out was beyond her. She hated not knowing what was going to happen, but if there’s one thing that being an ‘adult’ has shown her is that you can never predict any of it. Let alone plan for it like she always tried to. 

So maybe the best she can do is take it day by day. Today she was going to go home from work, take a nap, get ready for the party, and get drunk with her family and friends. Because they are the only thing she can depend on, even when the whole picture is blurry. 

By the time she was awake from said nap, her phone had blown up from messages from Willow and Gus telling her to open the ‘damn door’ so they can get ready ‘ASAP’. She had no clue what she was going to wear, so she forced Gus to help her once she did let them in. 

“Something pink or red, maybe this dress? Or this top with that skirt?” Gus pondered, “But definitely those converse.”

“Red converse I can do. That skirt is Boscha’s, though… I never got a chance to give it back to her,” Amity admitted. 

“Aren’t you guys like.. Good now? I saw you talking at rehearsal last week and you guys stopped avoiding each other after that,” Gus asked. 

“Well we aren’t besties again, but yeah I think we’re fine,” Amity shrugged. 

“Okay… then wear this pink dress with the red trim.. OH! And that white cardigan, and we can go drop it off to her while Willow hogs the mirror,” Gus clapped. 

“I’m not hogging anything! Rome wasn’t built in a day, Gus,” Willow yelled from inside the bathroom.

“You’re one hell of a stylist,” Amity laughed, “And it’s oddly comforting that I’m not too nervous to drop it off to her.”

“That’s progress! And baby steps, not that you have to be best friends with her again but just put the bad blood at rest, right?” Gus said as he moved towards the door, “Alright, let me leave the room so you can get changed and then we can go over there.”

Amity changed quickly and took a look in the full body mirror that hung on the back of the door. He truly was a good stylist, she felt confident. However the green hair with the pink and red was an awful combo and she made a mental note to reach out to Raine as soon as possible. 

She dug through her closet to find the shirt and wings that went with it all and came out to join Gus and took a deep breath. 

“Alright let’s get this over with.”

Gus practically pushed her down the hall, she was less nervous than she thought she was gonna be but that doesn’t mean she was psyched either. They get there and they can hear music from inside the room and multiple voices. She looks at Gus with pleading eyes, and he glares back at her. She can’t back down from this, and he wouldn’t let her. So she knocked. 

“OH MY GOD!! Amity!! I haven’t seen you in so long,” Skara said as she hugged her, it took Amity a second to find her footing before she hugged her back with all the stuff in her hands. 

“Amity?” She hears Boscha say as she comes out of the bathroom, make up halfway done. 

“Hey Skara.. Hey Boscha,” she awkwardly smiled. 

“Hey, it’s.. good to see you. What’s up?” Boscha asked. 

“Um, so we hadn’t talked in a while until recently and I realized I still had the clothes you gave me from Halloween and I wanted to return them,” she says all in one breath. 

“Oh.. honestly, I forgot I even had those,” Boscha chuckled, taking them from her hands, “Thank you. I assume you’re going to the party too?” 

“Yeah! Willow, Gus, Luz and I will all be there,” She replied. 

“Nice. Do you want me to do your makeup again?” Boscha chuckled. 

“Although I’d love to look as good as I did on Halloween, Willow is doing it for me. I don’t wanna bother you anymore, but we’ll see you there!” 

“Alright,” Boscha smiled, “Also, you’re never bothering me. I’m just excited to party a little bit with you again, of course if you’re okay with that?” 

“Yeah, I’m happy I’ll see you there too,” Amity smiled, and that was true. It felt weird but nice, it was a nice kind of weird. So maybe she didn’t know the exact feeling but it wasn’t bad. ‘ No bad blood’ like Gus said. 

They exchanged goodbyes and she turned to Gus who was standing against the wall out of sight. He gave her a thumbs up and put his arm around her shoulder as they walked back to Amity’s. 

“See? Now we can just have fun. No drama, no stress,” he nudged her. 

She smiled back as they opened the door and joined Willow to start getting ready. It wasn’t much for Gus, although he did ask Willow to put a few red hearts with eyeliner on his cheeks like freckles. ‘ Makeup is genderless!!’ As he put it. 

They were blaring music and laughing too hard at random things, and they all ended up with the same hearts on their face. They also kept looking to see if Luz was coming down the hall since she stayed in the arts building to finish up a project (much like the students at the café last night). 

They had a cake ready for her at Ed’s along with candles that Willow and Gus dropped off earlier that day while Amity was working. It wasn’t her birthday yet but they were gonna make the most out of it anyway. 

However they were planning to leave in about an hour and they still hadn’t seen her, and Willow was the one who checked her location this time. It wasn’t ‘possessive’ if it was a friend… and even if it was never said, Amity and Luz are something other than friends. And they all knew that. 

Willow saw that she was in the parking lot, which meant she’d be in soon so they raided her closet to pick out an outfit for her so they would be able to leave sooner. Also there were almost no boundaries between the four of them, so getting in her closet wasn’t exactly a big deal. They picked out her favorite ripped jeans that she almost never took off because they knew she’d wanna be comfortable, and grabbed a red crop top out of Amity’s closet. 

Gus also pulled out Luz’s matching red converse that Amity already had on, smirked at her and set it out for the outfit as well. Amity and Willow were hurriedly applying false lashes when they heard the door open. 

“LUZ!” they all said in somewhat unison, Gus’s voice dropping from outside the bathroom. Amity and Willow looked at each other confused before they went out to investigate. 

Luz wasn’t alone. Next to her stood the same girl who had ruined Christmas for Amity, awkwardly waving. 

“Hey guys! So… Clara drove to surprise me for my birthday as well! So she’s coming with us, as long as Ed’s okay with it,” Luz said, grinning. 

The three exchanged a glance between them. All on the same page of confusion and slight disbelief. It was a party, they planned for unexpected things. But this was not what they even imagined. But Amity decided to step in. 

“Hey Clara, I hope the drive wasn’t too bad,” She greets awkwardly, earning a smile from Clara, “Ed said to invite anyone… but uh, Luz? Can I .. talk to you? Outside? It’s just about the project due next week.”

“Sure thing! Be right back, Clar,” She follows Amity to the common room outside of their room, the one she hasn’t been back in since she left crying after her confrontation with Boscha. “What’s up? If it’s homework help can it wait until–”

“Is she staying the night?” Amity cuts her off, lowering her voice.

“Well, yeah. She drove an hour, I think she’s staying the whole weekend actually,” Luz confesses, rubbing the back of her neck, “Oh, shit. I’m so sorry I should have asked before she came down it was kind of last minute–”

“No, it’s fine. I just thought that we were gonna spend the weekend together.. That’s all,” Amity shrugs, her heart stinging a little at what felt like a rejection.

“Valentine’s weekend?” Luz asks, teasing her to lighten her mood. 

“Well I mean that and your birthday.. like we talked about. I just thought it would be the four of us, ya know?” 

“Oh, well Clara wanted to visit for my birthday too, that’s why she’s here. And it’s Clara, Amity. My Clara,” Luz smiles at her. 

“Your Clara? Luz.. what are you talking about? It’s been two weeks since we—  isn’t she straight?” Amity asked, concern written all over her face. This is what Eda and Vee were talking about. She got sucked back in. This is a nightmare, God I hope this is a nightmare. 

“Well, I mean– that’s what she told me in high school but come on! Her boyfriend cheats on her and she comes running to me? That has to mean something–”

“Luz–” Amity shakes her head just as she imagined Vee was on the phone, but Luz is practically pacing the room with a hopeful gleam in her eye as she rambles.

“And I know we talked about it all, but you were right. I just had to figure out what this was, and that's what I’m doing Amity—”

“ Luz –”

“–and this party may be the perfect opportunity for that! I should have told you I’ve been talking more with her and visiting her but maybe she didn’t just ditch me—”

“Luz!” Amity slightly raises her voice to grab her attention, “She ran to you because you offered her emotional support after she was dumped. And that’s okay, but don’t you think out of all the years you’ve known her that you would have picked up on her possibly being queer already? Don’t let yourself get led on again–”

“I’m not, Amity. I appreciate the concern you’ve been consistently showing, and I appreciate you reaching out to my family about it all, but it’s different this time. I know her, and we haven’t spoken this much since graduation and now she’s here and she wants to spend all this time with me. It’s nothing like it was before…” Luz pleads. 

“I understand that, but..” She sighs and grabs Luz’s hands to try to bring her back down to earth. They’ve been in this position numerous times with Luz grounding her, but now it was her turn to bring her back to reality, “Luz, I don’t want to see you get hurt. None of us do. Don’t let yourself, okay? Clara is great, I’m sure, but don’t fall into this hole before you know if she’s ready to come down with you. It’s easy to confuse how someone feels about you when they are giving you the attention you want from them–”

“And you would know that better than anyone, right?” Luz presses her lips in a tight line and raises her eyebrows at her. 

Amity was speechless. She blinked and shook her head to try to see if this was actually a nightmare, because that was not anything she would expect Luz to say. Especially not after she watched Amity heal from everything that had happened, and helped her through the process. Surely she couldn’t be using it against her now, even if she did have tunnel vision while she pleaded her case. 

“Boscha liked the attention you gave her, and you liked it too. Even if you weren’t on the same page, the attention was the reason you both kept coming back, right? Well, I’m not Boscha and Clara isn’t you. So you don’t have to worry about that happening with us,” She finished in a cold tone that Amity has never heard Luz have towards her. 

“Damn, Luz…” Amity breathed out, her eyes still focused on her. She chuckled a little bit, mostly out of shock, but also at just how right Luz was. She’s not Clara. And she never would be. And maybe that is what stung the most, but she’s trying incredibly hard not to read into her roommate’s words that deeply. 

“Shit.. Amity I didn’t mean it like that, I’m sorry–”

“No, it’s fine,” Amity waved off, a slight smile still on her face to hide any pain that Luz’s words have caused her, “It’s fine. I get it. You ran to her. Just like she ran to you. Whatever you say, Luz. We’re going to this party, but the three of us are ready so we are leaving soon. You can leave later if you want, if you want some alone time. But from what I can tell you’ve had a lot of that the past couple weeks.” 

She pushes past her, mostly so Luz doesn’t see the tears that are starting to build in her eyes. But Luz grabs her hand before she can make it to their room.

“Wait, Bug… I’m sorry–”

“Don’t,” She shoots back, making eye contact with Luz. There was no hiding the tears now, and Luz’s expression had softened the minute she saw her. She could almost feel her heart aching as much as her own was. And as if any of this didn’t sting enough, hearing her use that to get her attention was heartbreaking. 

“Just… please don’t get hurt, Luz. That’s all I wanted to say. Be careful. I just–” She sniffles and wipes her cheeks with her sleeves to prepare herself to say the words she’s been dying to say. But this time in a different context as a last ditch effort to talk any sense into her best friend, “ I love you, Luz. I don’t think I could handle seeing you heartbroken. I’ll see you at the party. And by the way, Boscha and I are fine now. She’ll be there too.”

And maybe it was a petty thing to say, but obviously Luz isn’t below that right now either. If she was going to hold that switch off with all her might, then maybe it was time Amity stopped trying to turn it back on. 

Chapter Text

Amity may or may not have already been tipsy within the first twenty minutes after her, Willow, and Gus arrived. The party had as many people if not more than the Halloween party, and this time Amity was recognizing more faces from actually being in the arts building and working on Alice as well. 

Luz and Clara had not shown up yet and Amity was starting to wonder whether she’d show up at all after the words they exchanged. It was harsh from both ends but Amity is finding it hard to regret them. Like she said, the switch had been turned off. Her cheeks were warm, her filter was starting to be nonexistent and she felt like she could do just about anything without a care in the world. 

However, feeling like that because of alcohol has always proven to bite her in the ass. But she’s fun Amity right now, so she’s not thinking about that right now. 

“BLIGHT SHOT TIME!” She yelled above the music as a cattle call to herd her siblings wherever they were.

“Amity, wait.. Are you sure you are okay?” Willow stopped her before she could disappear into the kitchen. 

“Me? I’m fine,” She answered with a forced smile, “Luz will do what she wants, and so will I. So it’s shot time. You in?” 

“If you say so… and I might take you up on that later. For now, find your brother and sister, okay?” She said with a half smile.

Amity could tell that she was worried about her, she didn’t hear her and Luz’s conversation, but Amity walked back into the dorm with a mission to get to the party immediately. The minute she walked in the door she found what Emira had hid for them in Ed’s room and poured them drinks. If she could forget the conversation then maybe it wouldn’t hurt as much, right?

She wandered into the room to throw the empty red solo cup away and found both Ed and Emira playing some card game gathered around the kitchen table. She made eye contact with Ed first and raised her eyebrows. 

“Is it time, Mittens?” He smirked. 

She smirked back and nodded which was awarded with Ed smacking his hands down on the table, scattering the cards that sat there. 

“As I said before, LET’S GOOOO!” 

Emira laughed before standing up with him and going to the freezer to grab whatever was in there for them to drink. Amity found the shot glasses in the cabinet that she remembered Ed pulling from last time, and Ed grabbed a chaser for Amity(he calls her a baby for needing it, but she doesn’t care). Emira poured them and they raised them to each other.

“What are we drinking to this time, Mittens?” Emira asked. 

“Shit, I don’t know… To some of the only people you can rely on to love you no matter what.” 

“To fireworks?” Ed smiled plainly. They all looked at each other with a quick fond smile.

“To fireworks!” They all repeated before they brought the glasses to their lips. It burned all the way down, but Amity could almost immediately feel more of her filter leaving and her limbs loosen up. She quickly picked up the can of soda Ed had opened for her to wash it down before she shook her head as if that was supposed to make it go down easier. 

They cheered all together along with the people in the room that she didn’t realize were encouraging them the whole time. Ed patted her on the back and moved to sit back at their game as Emira pulled her into a side hug. 

“You doing okay?” Emira chuckled. 

“Why does everyone keep asking me that? Yes, I’m fine. Or at least I will be,” She said as she took the liquor they had just drank to pour into a new cup joined with the soda she had just used. 

“Well don’t get too ahead of yourself, drink some water and eat some chips or something. You’re staying with me tonight, right?” She asked.

“Yeah, Willow and Gus are too if that’s okay?” 

“Absolutely, and Luz?” 

“Not Luz,” She replied quickly. 

“Oh… We are unpacking whatever that is later, for now go have fun. Let me know if you want my key so you can go lay down or just need to be somewhere quiet, okay?” She started heading back to the table to join her girlfriend, Ed, and other upperclassmen. 

“Yup!” She answered, waving her off to find something else to do, drinking the concoction she had just made on the way to the living room. 

The minute she got there she watched the back patio door open up and she felt her stomach drop as she remembered who she was waiting to arrive. Instead, she saw pink hair peek into the room. 

“Bosh!” She yelled, running over to hug her. She has no idea where that reaction came from, but as Emira said, she’d unpack that later. 

“Amity!” Boscha chucked, caught off guard by the hug, but ultimately hugging her back awkwardly, “Didn’t think you’d be this excited to see me.”

“Well we haven’t partied together in a while! We gotta make up for lost time,” Amity excitedly giggled. 

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, A,” She smiled back. 

Amity pulled her back into Ed’s room where she expected Gus and Willow to be, the rest of the girls following close behind. There was a group of freshmen circled around who she mostly recognized, Gus and Willow giggling at something at one end where she joined them, Boscha by her side. 

“What are we playing?” Amity asked as she settled next to Willow. 

“No idea, I think we are literally just talking and exchanging funny or embarrassing stories. It’s hilarious when you have tequila in your system,” She giggled. 

“Everything is,” Boscha joined in, “Also, I’m not sure if we’ve met, I’m Boscha.”

“I know of you, but it’s nice to put a face to the name. I’m Willow,” Willow smiled awkwardly back, “Want some?” 

“If you’re offering,” Boscha laughed. Amity grabbed a solo cup from Ed’s closet where their ‘stash’ was and poured her the same mixed drink they started with. “So, A, What have you been up to?”

“Well, I changed my major finally and as you know I am working on the show. Started working at Eda’s, you know where that is?” Amity asked.

“I don’t think I do,” Boscha furrowed her brows.

“So it’s about 15-ish minutes from campus, but during the school year it’s open late! But yeah I got the job because of Luz’s not-mom mom, so I work there with her…” Dammit you were supposed to not think about her right now.

“Nice! So–” Boscha was interrupted by none other than Luz and Clara entering the room welcomed by drunk freshmen. 

Amity didn’t even notice what Clara was wearing, but Luz was wearing the exact outfit they laid out for her, including the red converse that Amity was also wearing.

  She looks adorable…  

They made eye contact as she walked in, Luz looked as if she was trying to say something along the lines of an apology, but then her eyes traveled to Boscha beside her. Amity thought she almost looked hurt, but Luz immediately looked away and back at Clara as she pulled her down to sit in the circle across from Amity. 

“Holy hell, A. I can feel the tension from here… trouble in paradise?” Boscha chuckled under her breath as she leaned towards Amity so only she could hear her. Willow probably did too, but she was well aware of most of the situation, so Amity didn’t really care. 

“What do you mean ‘in paradise’? And there’s not tension! I’m fine! I’m having fun,” Amity smiled back enthusiastically, “I look like I’m having fun, right?” 

“Don’t lie to me, you forget I still know all your tells…. Oh, shit. Did she dump you for the blonde?” Boscha whispered. Luz was watching this exchange, but she was too far away to hear any of it, not to mention the loud ambience of the party. 

Amity snapped her head to look at Boscha with her eyes wide, begging her to shut up. Boscha covered her mouth as she let out a small giggle, she was feeling it too. Amity sighed and leaned in to whisper in her ear. 

“She didn’t dump me, you can’t dump someone you were never dating.”

Boscha looked back at her confused with a small smile on her face, but leaned back in to whisper back. 

“So you’re telling me you never made a move? Come on, A. I know you have better game than that,” She tsked. 

“Would you shush?” Amity laughed. 

“I’m just saying, it was obvious that you were in love with her the minute I actually thought about everything that happened,” She laughed back. 

Amity rolled her eyes and looked back at Luz who was still watching her, but when they made eye contact she looked away quickly. And started talking and giggling with Clara. Amity took a deep breath and a big drink from her cup. 

Boscha stood up beside her and offered her hand to Amity to pull her up. She was confused but went with it anyway, and she led them out to the hallway where they had a little bit of privacy(the most that you can have at a large party in a small apartment). 

“Okay, you are obviously stressed about seeing her with that girl, so what’s the game plan?” Boscha asked. 

“The game plan?” She questioned. 

“Yeah, the game plan. Do you wanna make her jealous? ‘Accidentally’ spill a drink on the girl? Do you want me to distract her so you can get to Luz? I’m down for anything,” Boscha encouraged. 

“What? No! I–”

“A, you want her to see what she’s missing, then you gotta show her. Don’t worry about me, I won’t read into it. I think I have a thing going with a girl in the ensemble anyway. I just wanna help you be happy,” Boscha smiled. 

“Ooooo, who is in the ensemble???” Amity giggled. 

“You know the girl that has that dance solo during— hey! Stop trying to change the subject!” 

“UGH! I don’t wanna do anything Bosh. I tried everything and I’ve talked to nearly her entire family, and they just keep telling me that she will come around… hopefully. I mean at least I know that her family, even her dog, likes me. And they hate Clara. So I don’t wanna do anything, I’m tired of trying and waiting. I just wanna get drunk, have fun, and hopefully move on,” she whined. 

“I don’t believe a single word you just said, but I respect your wishes. I’ll keep petty Bosh out of the situation and I will make sure we have fun tonight, alright?” Boscha squeezed her hand. 

“Alright,” Amity smiled, “Thank you.”

“That starts with finishing your drink and getting you another,” Boscha winks, pulling her back into the room. 

When they get back, Luz is the first person to acknowledge them. She somehow looks more hurt than she did before, and Amity realizes that she probably thinks something more happened in that hallway. The last thing she wants is for Luz to believe that, but some part of her finds satisfaction in it as well. Her petty side was coming out in full swing tonight. 

She also notices that both Clara and Luz now have cups from Gus and Willow, and the circle that everyone is sitting in looks awfully a lot like that stupid ‘truth or truth’ game from before. And if she has to hear a hard truth from Luz about Clara that the freshmen in the group are bound to ask with a new girl by her side, she might vomit. 

“Bosh and I are going to the living room to… dance! Yep, that’s what we are doing,” And before anyone can reply she is pulling her out of the room. 

“I thought you said that you didn’t wanna make her jealous,” Boscha laughs as they are maneuvering through the sea of people in the hallway. 

“I’m not making her jealous, I’m just making up for–”

“Lost time with a lost best friend or whatever, got it. Totally believe that, A,” She nods. 

“Shut up,” She snips. 

The living room had low lighting with a small group of people in the middle of it barely dancing, and in any other circumstance she would be anxious to create her own dance floor in front of anyone. But at the moment she has much larger things to be anxious about. 

She wasn’t even paying attention to the crowd around her as she pulled Boscha in the middle to dance as best as she can, and Boscha is the first to join her in solidarity. Slowly the rest of the group follow the new trend and everyone around them is dancing alongside. 

“Hey stranger, funny seeing you here,” She hears a girl say, and looks to see she is talking to Boscha. She immediately recognizes as the dancer from the show, and she winks as Boscha as they start dancing together. 

After everything, she’s happy that Boscha had something going for her that’s not full of unnecessary drama and excited to be some sort of wing woman off stage. Her smile leaves her face when she sees Clara dragging Luz out to the middle where Amity already was. 

But she is not going to let this ruin her night, she wasn’t going to cower. So she stays, barely acknowledging either of them. Willow and Gus are quick to follow and offer her support, mostly emotional. They both looked at her as if to ask if she was okay or needed anything, but she just smiled and dragged them further to the middle and they took that as her answer and joined in. 

After a while and multiple song changes, she finally makes the mistake of looking for Luz and Clara in the crowd giggling at each other and looking carefree. She exerted a lot of energy making this a competition of who cares less, and frankly she needed a break. 

“Blight shot part two?” Emira says from behind her, looking between Amity and Luz. She always knows what’s going through her mind. 

“Why the hell not,” She answers, letting Emira part the crowd and following behind. 

The crowd around them includes both Luz and Clara who are partly paying attention, but exchanging sips of each other's drinks. Amity subconsciously rolls her eyes at the fact they they are drinking the exact same drink, and a voice inside her head tells her that Clara may be doing it to assert some kind of dominance as if she knows Amity is watching. 

It makes the shot go down slightly easier even if the logic is skewed without any rationality.

She’s starting to forget all that’s happening after another shot and drink, but the jealousy and heartache that came with stealing glances at the other two. No one was dancing anymore, but Willow and Gus are trying their best to keep her occupied with a game. And she’s starting to question how she transitioned from room to room, missing parts of her memory.

But she wasn’t really paying attention to it because on the couch opposite of her was Luz and Clara headlessly talking to each other, giggling, whispering, making jokes. Luz had stopped exchanging glances with Amity three drinks ago, and their stubborn competition of who cares less was overtaking the game of who will say something first. 

Amity was drunk, she was tired, and the weight on her heart was getting heavier. It was probably well past midnight at this point, and she decided she was going to find her sister to get her key. 

The moment she gets up, she feels it all immediately go to her head and she wobbles and grabs Willow for stability. 

“Woahhhh,” She giggles.

“Amity, I think you might be drunk,” Willow laughs. 

“Willow, I think you also might be drunk,” She points at her as she finds her footing. 

“I am also consumed by tequila,” Gus chips in, eyes closed as he sinks into the couch. 

“Sleep time?” Amity asks. 

“Sleep time,” Gus and Willow say in unison. 

She looks back at Luz and for the first time in a while and she is already staring back at her. 

“Our Uber is here!” She announces, “Are you all going back to the dorms?”

“We are having a sleepover at Emira’s,” Gus slurs in a sing-song, “So I guess in a way it’s kind of like the dorms since Viney will be there.”

“She’s not gonna be an RA to us in an off campus apartment, silly,” Willow giggles, pulling him up with her.

“So, does that mean that Clara can sleep in your bed?” Luz questions Amity who’s been looking down and avoiding the conversation, and she asks it as if she is testing her. But whatever answer she would say doesn’t feel like the right answer to either of them. 

“Um, I uh–” 

“Amity’s always had a weird thing about her bed. She doesn’t like other people sleeping in it,” Emira surprises her from behind, looking down at Amity afterwards. She’s always been looking out for me, even in the weirdest ways.

“Oh.. I guess we can just make a fort on the ground,” Luz says excitedly to Clara.

Somehow, that option seemed to hurt more. That was their thing. And she doesn’t care that having monopoly over something so common seemed petty, even if it was only something she thought to herself. 

Luz and Clara were walking out hand-in-hand before she could say anything else. She can’t find Boscha anywhere around her, assuming she probably left with the brunette dancer from the show, and at least interrogating Boscha about that tomorrow was something she could look forward to. 

She got her friend back, and she was just that, a friend. She had another person in her corner, and this time it seemed like it would be better. So that was another thing she could count as a small victory tonight. 

She doesn’t remember making the bitter walk to Emira’s a few buildings down, probably something to do with the heat of tequila in her body. She doesn’t even remember pulling out the bed on the couch with Willow and Gus collapsing on the armchair in the corner. Curling up in a ball on the bed next to Willow sprawled out would be the last thing she would recall within the last few hours of the night.

___________

In the morning she is woken up by the smell of breakfast being made by Viney and Emira in the kitchen, finding herself alone in the bed. Getting up was the first uphill battle she’d face today, and she was well aware of that. 

“Ahh, she awakens,” Gus says from the counter as he watches her slowly sits up.

“Shhhh,” Amity says. She only ever had mild hangovers that she was sure would get worse as she aged, but the feeling of the alcohol probably still sitting in her stomach was enough to make her nauseous. Some greasy bacon and warm pancakes may be the cure she needs and motivates her to move to the counter with them.

The meal was mostly just them recalling some of the events of the night, all of them avoiding the elephant in the room that is Luz and Clara. Mostly just teasing each other about being horrid dancers and goofy drunks. 

Once they were just sitting or standing around the counter, Emira claps her hands.

“Now that we are feeling slightly better, and are all here, we gotta get to the bottom of this,” Emira sighs, starting to take all their plates to put in the sink. “Amity, this Luz thing has gone on too long and now it’s messy with Claire or whoever. What’s going on?”

“Can we not–”

“No, I think we gotta talk about it too,” Willow interrupts Amity, earning a look of betrayal from her. 

“Finally, I needed more people to back me up,” Gus moans. 

“You two have dragged this on for way to long, I’m practically biting my nails waiting for something to happen,” Viney chuckles. 

“We all are. Not only because we wanna see you all together, but also stop hurting yourself–” Emira gets cut off by Amity moaning into her hands.

“What do you expect me to do? I’ve tried being obvious, I’ve almost told her numerous times but something always interrupts it. I don’t care what you all think, all of this is a sign that it is a bad idea. That it wasn’t ‘meant to be’ or that telling her would only cause more of a mess that none of us can handle. I’ve done what I could, and if this whole thing with Clara works out for her then shouldn’t we just be happy for her? For finally getting what she’s wanted for years?” Amity rambles.

“But what about you, Amity?” Willow asks sternly. Amity has tried doing better about advocating for herself, but the thought of being selfish in this seems more painful to both of them. So she just shakes her head before she feels the tears pull in her eyes. 

“What about me? This is about her, not me.”

“No. There’s two people in this, and you are one of them. What about you being happy? What about the fact that you’ve wanted this for a while? And what about Luz? Doesn’t she deserve to know?” Willow pushes.

“You don’t think she does?” Amity defeatedly chuckles, “You don’t think that if it’s so obvious to everyone in our lives, in that hall, probably in the arts building, that it wouldn’t be obvious to her too? And she’s done nothing about it.”

“Well, as history would show, she doesn’t act on her emotions. Not at least romantically,” Gus points out.

“Then why is it up to me? Why does it have to fall on me?” 

“I know that both of you are hurting each other right now. By not saying anything, but at some point the cycle has to stop,” Emira sympathetically smiles at her, grabbing her arm.

The cycle has to stop.

“I just.. I can’t. I don’t have the energy, I’m already hurting..” She finally breaks down, pushing Willow to get up and move to comfort her. 

“But if you’re already hurting, what more do you have to lose?” She says softly.

And Amity doesn’t respond. She doesn’t know how. What else did she have to lose?

“And it doesn’t have to be today, it doesn’t have to be tomorrow. But regardless, if it isn’t obvious, you’ll have us. And Boscha now, hell the whole cast of Alice would be there to comfort you,” Gus lightheartedly chuckles.

“It may be you saying it, but you don’t have to hurt quietly,” Viney smiles.

“And if it all goes wrong?” She whispers.

“Then it all goes wrong. It’s already a mess, we’ll clean it up with you. And besides, Viney and I are living proof that it doesn't always go wrong,” Emira adds on. “But that’s enough of that, let’s go do something to get your mind off of everything. I’m sure there’s half off candy from Valentine’s day that we can stock up on and we can just go to a park or whatever. We could all use a day off.”

They all scoff to that in unison and agree. But as they crowd into Emira’s car, Amity can’t stop thinking about what they pointed out. 

What could go wrong when everything already has?

And Luz did remind her to always trust Willow’s advice.

______________

By the time they have three grocery bags full of clearance candy and even some chocolate covered strawberries, they settle onto a blanket in the middle of a park that overlooks the city. 

Gus and Willow are arguing about the best sour gummy brand and soon after which flavor. And Emira and Viney are smiling out to the horizon. It’s the afternoon, and there was so many more hours in the day. And that meant hours of worrying before Amity inevitably had to go back to the dorms to face whatever it was she had to. 

She had already decided it wouldn’t be today, or truly anytime incredibly soon. And she wasn’t even sure she’d say it plainly, but rather just stop hiding her emotions. Stop being bottled up, stop holding her tongue. She was tired of it all, so tired. She didn’t have the energy to continue on, and they all just gave her ample reason not to. 

“Out of your head, let's just talk about and think about anything other than that,” Willow nudged her. She’s starting to read her more well each day they hung out. 

“Like how we are gonna open soon! This time I’m introducing you all to my parents,” Gus smirked.

“I didn’t realize we were that far into our relationship,” Amity teased. 

“Well it’s just my dad, but I know he wants to meet you all since I talk about you so often,” Gus shrugged. 

“That’s so sweet that you talk to your dad about us,” Willow smiled. 

“Yeah, well you don’t make friends as close as we are without telling everyone about them. Not to mention you all are pretty much the only people I hang out with so most stories involve you all,” Gus laughed. 

“We should probably make more friends,” Amity chuckled. 

“Nah, I think we are just fine. Besides, do you think we could handle more drama than we already have between us?” Willow asked. 

“You’re right about that. Hand over the gummies you’ve been hoarding,” Amity reached over to snatch the bag from Gus. 

“The housing application is gonna be open soon, are we living in the same building or exploring a new one?” Willow asked.

“I think we should try to get into those suite style ones where they each have their own bedroom but share a bathroom? Like four people in a room?” Amity suggested.

“Yeah, but I’m a dude I can’t live with you all,” Gus pouted.

“Well you have Matt… And I guess we could ask Boscha about–”

“As much as I am happy that we are reconnecting, you two would not get along in close quarters,” Amity cut her off.

“Point taken. Who else then?” She asked.

“Maybe Bo? I know she lives with Amelia now, but they don’t really match as roommates so we can ask her. She’s mellow and would fit in well?” Amity pointed out.

“See, we have more friends than we think,” Willow teased. 

“Oh and I’m applying to be an RA so I can literally hand pick who I live with if I get to be in that building,” Amity said.

“I’ll pull some strings. I’ve been an RA for almost two years, I could probably get you in there,” Viney smiled. 

“Alright, so it’s decided? We know where we are living?” Gus raised his eyebrows with a smile. 

“I think so,” Amity replied, “At least that’s something to be excited about.”

“Speaking of which… We gotta get back soon, Gus has rehearsal and Viney has gotta work the front desk tonight,” Emira cringed.

“Ah shit. The bubble has burst,” Amity sighed. 

“Remember, you got us,” Willow smiled. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Amity waved them off. 

____________

“You want me to wait outside the door so if anything happens I can drive you back to Emira’s? Or we can get ice cream?” Willow asked as they stood staring at Amity’s door. 

“No.. I need to just face whatever is behind that door and deal with it. If I need you I’ll come get you, but I don’t plan on actually telling her right now. Just.. test the waters or whatever,” She sighed.

“Okay, you got this Am,” She assured her with a hand on her shoulder before she headed back down the hallway.

Amity had to repeat the mantra ‘mind over matter’ multiple times before she could rip herself from her spot she was frozen in and moved a shaky hand to the door handle. They rarely locked the door anymore which was smart for their forgettable minds, but overall probably stupid on their part in terms of safety. 

Actually turning the handle and opening the door was the next obstacle, but she pushed herself to do it quickly so she couldn’t stop herself first. Walking in was also a quick motion, but the room was quieter and felt as half-empty as it did when she moved in months before.

Wherever Luz was, it wasn’t here. 

She immediately went to call her, worried this was the moment one of them might actually be a ditch. Her possibly being out with Clara was not the first thought but when it went immediately to voicemail, she couldn’t shake the feeling that it wasn’t that. Something was wrong, even if Luz has been randomly disappearing a lot in the past few weeks. This was different, and Amity wasn’t sure what made it different, but it was. 

So she did what she promised herself she wouldn’t do again. 

Her location said that she was in this building, meaning her phone wasn’t and she was possibly just avoiding it. She moved to Luz’s bed, which looked unslept in, shaking out the blankets to make sure she didn’t leave her phone behind. She called again to see if she could hear it vibrate, but nothing. 

She looked around the room carefully, their desks, the top of their dresser, the window sill, and finally the bathroom. Her phone was nowhere in the room, so she looked out the window to make sure that Luz’s car was in its normal spot and it was. 

She calmed her mind, trying to tell herself that she may be doing laundry or wandering around the building or even getting food in the dining hall. But she couldn’t stop herself from attempting to find her anyway, even if that did mean finding her with Clara. Luz rarely doesn’t answer her phone, or will at least send a text that she can’t and why. 

She wandered the halls looking for her with no avail, peered into the dining hall to try and spot her, and finally took the elevator down to the basement in hopes that she would be doing laundry. 

The laundry room had only a few people in it, sitting on the couches on their laptops more than likely doing homework while they waited for their clothes. But no Luz. 

Then it hit her. Their room. Their dingy, low lit, horror-film looking hallway. And the thought that Luz may have brought Clara there stung, but she had to know that Luz was at least safe. That was the last place she would probably be in the building since Willow had just gotten home as well and Gus was at rehearsal. 

Her feet took her to the doors of the hallway before her mind could stop her. She knew that seeing them there would only hurt her more, but Amity’s self-sabotaging seemed to be reaching new heights before she could think through any of it. So she pushed open the door. 

However Clara wasn’t there. Any relief she had vanished when she saw Luz alone in the corner, knees to her chest, shaking. The door opening startled her slightly, so she looked up to meet eyes with Amity. 

“You all were right,” her voice broke.

Amity didn’t think twice before she ran to her, taking her into her arms as she cried. As much as she didn’t like Luz with Clara, this was never what she wanted. 

Chapter Text

Although Luz didn’t say it directly, Amity could tell that she had decided to not talk about it until she was ready. It was always hard for her to talk about her feelings, so Amity didn’t push it. She had already been through enough.

It felt like time stopped that night in the hallway, but Amity didn’t pull away for a second. Feelings aside, Luz was someone who meant everything to her. Even if Luz knew to a certain extent that things would end this way, even if the people closest to her tried to warn her, she chose to believe that it was worth the risk. And Amity knew that on some level, she ignored all of that to try and prove to herself that she was worth the risk, worth loving. 

Amity watched Luz cry until she had no tears left, and she shed a few of her own without Luz knowing. She had always wanted Luz to feel like she was so much more, like she was worth everything. Even Boscha had admitted to her after they made amends that she was tired of acting like Luz wasn’t incredibly lovable. She has a way of sneaking into people’s hearts, and everyone but Luz knows that. 

So she made it a mission for herself to make sure she took as many opportunities to show that to Luz from that point forward. Until she believed it. She doesn’t deserve to be the only one who doesn’t see how amazing she is. 

That night, Amity decided to set up a blanket fort for them. She hung up their extra fairy lights around the top bunk that the sheets were draped from, piled layers of comfort on the ground, and turned on their favorite movie. She’s well aware that the night before Luz and Clara may have had the same setup, but at this point she’s over trying to claim some kind of territory. Luz wasn’t that to her, and treating her as such was pointless and apathetic. 

Luz would not let go of her hand even when she fell asleep next to her. The next day she woke her up with a blue slushie and her favorite candies from the Seven Eleven. 

“You can never go wrong with some sugar,” Amity joked. 

“Never,” Luz half-smiled, “We always seem to know what each other needs, huh?”

Amity smiled back, and offered her hand to squeeze, “Inhala, Exhala… that’s what you say, right?”

“Exactly. But your accent is terrible,” Luz giggled. 

“I never claimed it would be good, Bee,” She chuckled back.

“Bee? Oh my God.. that’s the nickname you thought of that you never told me about, isn’t it?”

“Oh.. yeah. Sorry, I know it’s dumb but you are always just like going around helping out everyone like a little worker bee and ya know bees are adorable in their own way–” Amity rambled.

“So you think I’m adorable?” Luz smiled.

“As if that’s news,” Amity playfully rolled her eyes, “I don’t think anything could top ‘Bug’ anyway… I guess bees are a bug.. So I’m losing points on originality..”

“Nah, I think it’s sweet. I love it, Bug,” Luz squeezed her hand. After a moment, she put down the slushie and grabbed Amity’s other hand, “Thank you. For everything, I mean. And I’m sorry for the way I acted, I should have listened. I should have–”

“Hey, no sorries. This isn’t your fault, no matter what. You didn’t do this to yourself, Luz. Also if anyone should apologize for their behavior it’s me,” She scoffed. 

“Okay.. so we’re okay?” 

“We will never not be okay, Bee,” Amity smiled. 

“Good.. because I don’t think I could handle that, too. Also the fact that you saw me cry.. A lot.. And you still wanna be around me is a good sign. I’m an incredibly ugly crier, Am,” Luz quipped. 

“Oh please! Let’s be honest you’re nowhere near my level of ugly crier,” She laughed. 

“That’s true,” Luz poked. They both laughed at that, and they spent the rest of the day staying in and doing things that Amity knew would comfort her. 

They decided to walk to campus to occupy a studio to paint. Amity knew that it was Luz’s favorite art medium, and she had started to love it too after dreading it because of her. Amity also knew that they should probably start on one of their projects, however she didn’t stop Luz from painting whatever she wanted. She would buy them more canvases for class, for now this would serve as an outlet. 

She didn’t pry her about what it was she was painting, but the usually warm colors that Luz used were absent from her workspace. Luz was never really subtle in how she expressed her emotions through art, so Amity wasn’t surprised that she was currently drained of that warmth she typically carried herself with right now. 

While they left their pieces to dry, Amity’s just being some concept fan art that she had had in her mind for a while, they headed to the dining hall to eat. Amity continued to distract her by prompting Luz with random theories that she knew she could go on and on about. She didn’t care that she had heard them all before, Luz had passion about anything and everything and she was determined to pull that back out of her even if it was for arbitrary topics. 

They headed home after putting their paintings in their shared art locker to fully dry, and Luz decided to take a shower. While she did, she called Gus and Willow to take over on operation distract Luz, filled them in slightly but implored them to not ask any questions. Luz needed her found family right now, and she knew that the OG squad always cheered her up. 

“I see how it is, you’re handing me off,” Luz joked when Amity told her they were heading over. 

“No, I just have to get some work done so I thought I’d call them since we haven’t hung out in a while, that’s all,” Amity smiled. 

“I’m sorry if I’ve been a downer… and for being so quiet. Not very Bee of me,” She chuckled.

“I know you’re just tired, and I said no sorries,” Amity jokingly reprimanded. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Luz waved off, “Promise you’ll come to hang out with us when you’re done? We all should be hanging out.”

“I promise, now go silly, I think Gus wants to take you back to campus and sneak onto the set and show you it.”

“Ooooo, that sounds like fun. And like something we shouldn’t be doing which makes it more fun,” Luz grinned, causing Amity to laugh, “I’ll see ya soon, Bug.”

Amity had no plans to do any homework, but instead wanted to clean up the room for Luz. Luz always dreaded chores but she felt more clear-headed in an organized space, ‘the curse of ADHD’ she called it. 

She laughed to herself about it while she took down the blanket fort temporarily to wash them all, along with Luz’s sheets. She picked up both their clothes to wash, and started those loads. When she got back she started with their desks, putting things back where she knew Luz liked it organized along with herself. She finally took down the small Christmas tree they had found in a dollar store and failed to take down after the holidays. 

She cleaned up their bathroom a bit, started collecting their dishes she would wash in the communal kitchen space, watered their plants(that were somehow surviving) with abandoned water bottles, changing loads and folding it all in between tasks.

After about three hours, she took an exhausted look at her work and felt accomplished. She then laughed at herself when she remembered her sister teasing her about how she had acts of service as a love language. She did do it out of love, but mostly because she knew it needed to be done and didn’t want to burden Luz with helping her do it all. She was more than happy to do it as well. 

There was a knock on the door just as she was about to collect her stuff to meet up with everyone. 

“Viney, hey!” She greeted, “Oh shit, sorry was the music too loud I was just zoned in on cleaning.”

“Oh, no. Even if it was, I really wouldn’t care unless someone complained. Even then I would just say something so the person wouldn’t keep calling about it,” Viney chuckled, “But you told me to tell you when the RA application came out and they just posted it!”

“I completely forgot about that, thank you,” Amity confessed. 

“Do you want some help with it? I’m free now if you are?”

“Actually yeah, that would be great. Future-sister-in-law points,” Amity jokes as she heads into the room, pulling the chair from Luz’s desk to her own so Viney could help her. 

“Well that and RA points, I’m basically the best,” Viney bragged. 

They worked on it together, Viney even helped her revamp her resumé. About twenty minutes later they high-fived as she submitted it. 

“I’ll put in a good word with the big guys when it comes time for interviews and such,” Viney smiled, getting up to leave, “Also your room looks great, good job.”

“Thanks, I just wanted to do something nice for her. And it makes me feel at ease too, so win-win,” Amity chuckled. 

“So… you guys are talking? What happened to the blonde?” Viney asked curiously.

“I’m not exactly sure… but she’s gone. Hopefully forever, so yes we are talking again. But Luz is… sad to say the least.”

“Shit, I can only imagine what happened. And good riddance to the bitch,” Viney nudged. 

“I wouldn’t call her that,” Amity swatted, “... at least not out loud.”

Viney laughed at her, starting to make her way out before she turned around, “Oh! Come over soon for a little wine and cheese night? Another movie night perhaps? You can bring Luz,” She sing-songed. 

“Chill with the meddling for a bit. She needs to heal, and I’m not doing anything about my feelings until she… well I don’t know when. If I ever do. I don’t want it to seem like I’m piling onto her already heavy emotions,” Amity frowned. 

“I get it. Bring the whole gang, we don’t care. Even Boscha if you want, you guys seem to be getting along again. We all need a little family night,” Viney sighed. 

“Family night… we are like a little family, aren’t we?” Amity smiled.

“Well not so little anymore since you guys attract friends like moths to a flame, but yeah. Found family is the best find, especially when Odalia exists,” They both shiver at her name. 

“True, but yeah. Just let me know when, I’ll invite everyone,” Amity says. 

Viney actually leaves this time, and Amity gathers her things to head out before the door opens with Willow, Gus, and Luz coming through, Luz stopping as she looks around the room.

“Amity… you didn’t have to do this,” Luz smiles gratefully.

“I didn’t, but I wanted to,” She smiles back, “Why are you guys back, I thought I’d meet you guys on campus and we’d stay there all night like we always do.”

Gus chuckles, “We couldn’t get into the stage, apparently they started locking the doors. Or someone just did it for the first time for no reason. We just hung out in my room and played a few games–”

“But I missed you and knew you’d probably drown yourself in homework if I didn’t drag you out with us. It’s already 10 o’clock, so come on,” Luz says. 

“Where are we going,” Amity chuckles as Luz pulls her out of the room.

“Thought we’d wander around the store for some time. We got bored, needed a change in scenery,” Willow shrugged. 

Before too long, they are out by Luz’s car, and Amity is silently cursing at Luz for not letting her grab a coat before they left. She swears that February is the coldest month of the year. Luz turns around to her as she opens the passenger door for her, “M’lady.”

“T-Thank you, kind sir,” Amity jokes in a half-assed accent to match. 

“Oh my god you’re probably freezing, I’m so sorry. Here,” She takes off her own jacket to put it on Amity. She wants to protest so Luz isn’t left cold, but truthfully she’s in no place to deny it. 

She smiles at her as she climbs into the car, and Luz pauses a moment as she looks at her. She is smiling back at her fondly as if she’s trying to memorize or even remember something. 

Amity chuckles, “Are you regretting your choice? Because you’re not getting it back now.”

“I– Uh, no. I was just.. Waiting for you to put your seatbelt on,” Luz nods to the seatbelt, “Safety first!”

Amity looks back at her quizzically before she shakes her head and puts it on, Luz closes the door as Gus and Willow reach up to them and hop into the car while she walks around to the driver’s side. 

The car takes a minute to warm up as they head off towards the store, Willow demanding a pit stop to the nearest McDonald’s in order to get junk food to munch on. They never failed to find something to take up their time. 

Amity and Luz decided to split a sundae with a large fry, which Willow bullied them for mixing the two. Amity almost forgot everything that happened as they rode to the store, things being as they always used to be had brought back the familiar feeling that always came when they were together. Relieving, comforting, freeing, home. As always. 

That feeling was something she rarely felt when she was younger, she felt it most whenever Ed and Emira started driving. Taking the three of them on similar random adventures, spending time outside what they had once perceived as home. However, the fireworks, the junk food they were never allowed at the house, even swearing. There were no eggshells to walk on. Just them.

The eggshells were here though, but they were different. As if the sound of them crunching was starting to make them nostalgic instead of apprehensive. Like they all were when they first met, when they learned that they can jump on them like puddles. But that was going to take some time to happen this time around while they all acclimate to the new dynamic, mostly in order to comfort Luz. 

By the time they got to the store, they wandered around for a bit before they were separated so Gus could buy more makeup for his show, and of course Willow needed to accompany him to make sure he got at least a decent brand, but he swears his stage makeup class has taught him well. Willow wouldn’t budge though. 

“I would say we should go look at the stuffed animals again like we used to, but I’m afraid if we buy more they might make an army and launch a coup,” Luz laughs.

“Oh absolutely, but thankfully their only weapons would be paintbrushes and plastic knives,” Amity points out.

“I think you underestimate just how resourceful rebels can be,” Luz says, “It’s not like it’s all we read about.”

“You make a good point,” Amity chuckles, “We can go look at the seasonal stuff? Half of it is on sale and the other half is St. Patty's day stuff.”

“You read my mind, Bug.”

They goof off around the section, trying on leprechaun hats, cupid wings, and discussing which candy is the best. The normal stuff. They never fail to return to normal with ease after anything has happened, but this time around it seemed like a miracle to Amity that it was happening so quickly. But the last thing she was going to do was complain about it. 

“Oh my God, Luz look at all of this shamrock decor.. You think we should spice up our room with a glittery leaf? Ooo! And there’s rainbows, how on brand,” She laughs, but she looks around her to realize that Luz is nowhere to be found, “Luz? Where’d you go?”

She walks around to find her in the Valentine’s day section where everything was on clearance and sees her standing in front of a sign. Her body language had changed completely, and Luz hadn’t seemed to notice that Amity walked up next to her. 

She finally tears her concerned eyes away from Luz to see that the decor she was staring at was a sign that read ‘Love is All Around’, caked with red and pink hearts. Amity takes a sharp breath before she grabs Luz’s hand to squeeze which brings her out of her trance. 

“You wanna talk about it?” She asks quietly.

“I–” Luz sighs, but then chuckles a little, “How fitting that it’s nearly 90% off, huh?”

“Let’s just go find Willow and Gus, we can leave–”

“No.. you’re right. We should– I should talk about it,” Luz whispers. 

“Not if you don’t want to, Luz. I don’t need to know what happened, none of us do. Not if it hurts too much to talk about,” Amity half smiled with her eyebrows furrowed. 

“It’s never gonna not hurt, and just because you don’t need to know doesn’t mean you don’t deserve to. I was so… mean and stupid about it all. I need to talk about it too, I can’t keep it in for too long. Ya know, the overthinker in me that you always scold me about,” she half-heartedly chuckles. 

“Yeah, well don’t do that. But hey, I’m right here, even if we are in the middle of Walmart,” Amity smiles, causing Luz to genuinely laugh a bit before the sad smile returns to her face.

“I should have listened to you,” She starts, returning her gaze to the sign, “To you, to Eda, to Gus, to Willow, to Vee. All of you, you all were doing it out of love and I thought you guys just… I don’t know. I just didn’t want to listen. I thought everything was different.. I thought it would be different, but I was wrong.”

“You couldn’t have predicted that, you wanted to believe the best in the situation, in her. It’s one of your best qualities, don’t let this take that away from you,” Amity says. 

“But you all did predict it. I had these rose-colored glasses on… what’s that Bojack quote? The red flags just look like flags? Whatever it is. But yeah… I um– I kissed her. When we got back from the party. We had just got back and she was telling me about how happy she was to see me again and talk to me again, and how much she loved me and I just.. I read it wrong. I kissed her and told her that I was happy we could start over and I genuinely poured my heart out to how I’ve liked her for so long and how much I wanted this and she... She just got quiet and then I fell asleep first and by the morning she was gone.”

“The worst part? She left a post-it note . A literal post-it note on the bathroom mirror. And it basically just said ‘I can’t do this, I like boys’. I don't remember it exactly, I ripped up the note immediately, but it was no more than a sentence. And then... I just cried. I didn’t want to be in the room and the only place I could think of was our hallway. I haven’t texted her or anything so I guess that’s something to be proud of.. But I felt like my heart was ripped out. Well.. I don’t know, some part of me knew this would happen. But it was like 16 year old me needed that validation and it was ripped from her, with a fucking post-it note. Maybe, what? Ten fucking words? At most? Anyways, I see through it all now, she was just using me for some kind of screwed up emotional support, her own validation and attention after her boyfriend had cheated on her. I just– I’m sorry,” She finished, quietly crying and starting to breathe rapidly.

Amity didn’t say anything before she took Luz’s arms and crossed them into her chest in an X shape and wrapped her in a tight hug. That was something that both Ed and Em did for her whenever she was overwhelmed with her emotions. Luz cried into her harder and they hugged silently for a moment before Luz sniffled and pulled back.

“That was.. How did you know to do that? It calmed me down almost immediately,” She laughed. 

“It was just something that helped me when I was younger, it’s like a pressure thing and with your arms to your chest it calms your heart rate quicker so you can breathe easier, I guess. I’m not really sure, but it works,” Amity smiled. 

Luz smiled and nodded as she wiped her face, and looked back at the sign for a moment. Amity knew she shouldn’t pry more, but she wanted to encourage her to talk more if she wanted. 

“Luz.. did you–” She stops before she sighs, “Did you love her?”

“I-I don’t think I did to be honest,” Luz says quietly, “I think I just had some need to prove I could be loved. That I was worth it, ya know? So that realization kind of hurt.”

Amity mostly knew as much, she had been incredibly aware of Luz’s emotions and intentions for the most part since they got close. She does feel a bit of guilt for semi-psychoanalyzing her, but she also knows that it keeps her in tune with her best friend. 

“Okay… But Luz?” 

“Yeah?”

“You’re more than deserving of love. You’re more than lovable, you are literally the most lovable person on Earth. She’s not a reflection of that, you’re not a reflection of those who can’t or won’t love you,” Amity says.

“We’re pulling out the insightful quotes tonight, huh?” She laughs, “And I’m not sure about that, I could have been a better friend or just left it be. I should have done more to just be there for her after the break up, I should have been a better friend to Gus, Willow and to you. I’ve just been sucking recently.”

“I’m pulling out another quote now, but it helps me a lot. Like and affirmation, but you’re worth more than what you can give other people–”

“You deserve love too,” Luz cuts her off with a deep breath, “The quotes are helping. Especially a She-Ra one. We really are nerds aren’t we?”

“For kids cartoons with adult themes and queer characters? Oh, absolutely, but we’re nerds together,” Amity laughed.

“We gotta get Willow and Gus on them too so they know why we are so feral about them,” she laughs, “Thank you, Amity. You’re just… ya know sometimes I think you’re too understanding, I do need to apologize for everything, I was an ass.”

“And I was a royal ass too, so consider us even,” she answers, putting her arm around her shoulder so they can meet up with Gus and Willow, “you know even Boscha said you were ‘annoyingly lovable’.”

“That’s a lot coming from her, so maybe I should start believing it,” Luz laughs. 

“I absolutely agree,” she smiles, grabbing the sign they were staring at and knocking it down so no one would read it, and grabbing the glittery shamrock to hang in their room. 

“I have no idea what I would do if I hadn’t met you, Bug,” Luz leans into her.

“The feeling is mutual,” She replies. 

______________________________________

Thankfully, there was a distraction for all of them when opening night for Alice in Wonderland. Gus was nervous since he was one of the leads, specifically the White Rabbit, but Ed was more than excited for being the Mad Hatter. Boscha and the person who had the dance solos, who they later found out was named Sam, had started dating.

They got to know them some more as they started to hang out together in the common room, and she was a perfect match for Boscha. Luz had apologized to them profusely since they were not aware that they had used both pronouns. Sam met with a shrug and mentioned that they had only recently added to their pronouns since college really was the place to explore your identity. They were able to banter with each other easily and laugh together about anything and everything, she even got along with everyone else. 

Luz and Boscha were even able to start to be friends, starting to tease Amity together which she should have known bringing them together would do. Boscha has apologized to Luz for her behavior and as always, Luz was more than forgiving. 

Amity was welcomed backstage since she had worked on the set, and was hanging out with Sam in the dressing room as they got ready before Ed frantically asked her to help him with his hair. 

“Men truly need their hand held at any given moment, huh?” Sam joked with her as they started to put their curly brown hair into a tight bun. Sam was an absolutely beautiful dancer, so she was more than happy that she had gotten the chance to show off her talent in the role. 

“I'm just happy I never have to worry about holding a man’s hand like that. Not that I did before.. but, ya know, I got yours to hold now,” Boscha smiled at Sam as she finished her hair with the signature Alice headband. 

Amity smiled at Boscha in the mirror at the interaction before she walked behind her and played with her hair to put some loose pieces in their place before she went onstage, “You nervous for your first big lead?”

“Surprisingly, no. Not at all, just incredibly excited,” Boscha gleamed.

”As you should be, it’s about time to put some fear into the upperclassmen with that talent you have. Soon you’ll be taking all their roles,” Sam teased, earning an eye roll from Boscha before she reached for her hand. 

Amity smiled at the interaction before she headed out into the hallway to meet Ed since she wasn’t allowed(and truly had no want) to be in the men’s dressing room. Ed crouched down as she teased and hairsprayed his now temporary red hair that he had gotten the help from Raine to dye. Raine had joked with Amity about how she needed to come over to their house so they could do the same with Amity as her roots started showing a lot, she had neglected and even forgot about her hair for the most part. Once Ed was satisfied with his hair before she felt her phone vibrating.

“Luz, hey! What’s up?” She greets with a hint of butterflies in her stomach that she pushes down. Not now. 

“Hey so… Willow can’t come tonight because she found out she has her midterm tomorrow, which sucks because midterms aren’t for another two weeks,” she rambles, “Anyway! Not the point! Anyway I have no one to sit with and like I wouldn’t truly mind it at all because whatever, but I went up to the box office to buy a ticket and they said they are sold out.. Which is great for the cast but also I just don’t know what to do because I can’t go later this week because I have to work on my own homework but ahhhhh… help.”

“Meet me downstairs, in the back hallway, where we would sneak into the stage last semester,” Amity says, “I’ll see you soon.. Also you’ll need to change. But I have extra stage blacks.”

She hangs up while she waits for her to meet her and the stage manager gives them the five minute warning for the curtain to go up. She finds her backpack since she had been on campus all day and fishes out her extra black clothes she planned to store in the dressing rooms. 

As soon as Luz arrives she forces them into her hands and they run to the bathroom for Luz to change since she wasn’t a part of the show so she shouldn’t be in the dressing rooms. 

“Is this really necessary? I had such a cute outfit on,” she pouts. 

Amity laughs and pushes her into a stall, “If you wanna see the show then yes.”

“Ooooo I get backstage access, I’m excited,” she exclaims from the stall as she changes. 

“Just act like you belong and don’t get in the way and you’ll be fine,” Amity jokes.

“Me? In the way? Never,” She says. 

Within a minute she is back out and as she fixes her hair, Amity folds up her clothes so she can put it in her bag. Just as Luz looks at her with a thumbs up, she pulls her back out as they run back to the stage. 

“You ready to see the show?” She smiles.

“More than ever,” She replies, “Are you sure no one's gonna mind?”

“Oh they will, but if you seem like you’ve always been here as a stage hand then you’ll be fine. If anyone asks you’re set crew,” Amity ensures, then motions a finger to her lips to tell her to be quiet as she opens the backstage door and leads her to a table out of the way of the chaos backstage.

She hops up to sit on it and pats the table lightly for Luz to join her, she smiles and hops up with her just as Gus and Ed comes in to stand by them to wait for their cue, Boscha walks in and winks at the both of them before she walk onto the stage before the curtain opens to start off the show. 

Amity hears the audience get quiet and sees a glimpse through the curtain of the lights going down, and the curtain rises and the lights go up shortly after. The show has started. 

Gus was pacing a little backstage, but Ed puts his hands on his shoulder and makes him take a deep breath so that he calms down. He had done this last semester, but he was still a freshman so him being nervous was to be expected. 

He nods his head back at Ed to indicate he’s feeling better and looks towards the stage. The lights whirl and simulate Alice falling down the rabbit hole, and Luz gasps.

“I’ve never seen anything like this… This is so..  Cool,” She whispers with her eyes wide and shimmering from the lights.

“Just wait for the rest of the show, it’s so amazing. The techies have worked their asses off,” Amity replies, “I guess the actors are alright too.”

That earns a glare from Gus and they both quietly giggle, and Luz leans back to her. 

“The set looks incredible too, I heard this really cute Bug helped design it,” Luz winks.

“I sure as hell hope it looks good, this show has taken up the majority of my free time,” Amity says. 

Luz giggles back and Ed shushes them with a chuckle. Luz leans on her, mostly to get a better view of the stage but Amity’s heart still flutters. She’s healing you idiot, let it go for a while. She’s NOT ready. 

“Thank you for this,” Luz smiles at her, “For everything.”

“You act like I wouldn’t do anything for you,” Amity nudges her. 

Luz half-smiles with sincere eyes, it wasn’t until right then that Amity noticed how close they were. Luz seems to as well, and Luz’s eyes flicker toward what Amity could have sworn was her lips. There’s a moment before Luz clears her throat quietly and looks down at her hands and they separate slightly. 

They divert their attention back towards the stage as they watch Gus walk onstage. Good, a distraction. 

The show goes on without a hitch, somewhere along the way Luz leans back into her. They sat like that for the whole show, only getting up to help a little with resetting the stage during the intermission. 

Afterwards, they both hug and high five Gus and Ed, and the actors leave to go to a cast dinner. Amity and Luz walk out to Luz’s car and head back to their dorm. Amity felt like everything was finally falling back into place. 

Luz was returning to her old self slowly but surely, and she was being open about her feelings, everyday being easier for her to talk about. She was even making a few jokes about it, and seeing Clara for who she really was. 

The only thing she had missed was sleeping next to Luz, but things were different now, so she was more than content with saying goodnight and climbing their bed. 

Things were… okay. And so was she. Luz was too. And that’s all that truly mattered. 

_______________________________

The next few weeks go by as Luz begins to heal from it all, she opened up to Gus and Willow about what happened about a week after she had with Amity, so the most important people were caught up. Luz had gradually been opening up about her emotions with Amity throughout the past couple weeks, anything that needed to be said so she wasn’t keeping it all in. And Amity was honored that she had trusted her with that. 

Midterms were coming up at the end of the week and she was drowning in work, but with Luz, Viney, and Bo to help her with at least half of her major she was slightly at ease about that. However her education classes were swallowing her whole. She had made a few friends in the program, not closely but enough to make a few study groups to catch up with them. Although they were freshmen, they were already discussing how to get an assignment for student teaching and she was more than excited to start that process although that wouldn’t be happening for another year. Not to mention she was hoping to graduate early since she had less general education courses since she took so many AP and dual credit classes. And that would mean worrying less about scholarships. 

She had thought a lot lately about if she would ever talk to her parents again. In all honesty she had missed her Dad, but he had proved to all his children that the business was more important to him, Odalia was more important. So she didn’t have much hope. For the time being, she’d work her ass off to keep her scholarships, and she had a good feeling about being an RA so she’d get the perks of free housing and a free meal plan. 

While she was sitting in a studio late at night with the ‘Hexsquad’ as they started calling themselves, she felt her phone vibrate. 

viney: hey! come over on saturday with everyone for that wine and cheese night we talked about? you don’t have to bring anything, we’ve got it all!

amity: oh yeah, i could use a break… well i mean i know spring break is next week but ya know a break before the break since nothing is

actually happening for it. and i’m sure the others would agree. also it’s not like i could buy wine even if i wanted to lmao

amity: i can bring some cheeses or fruits? i know emira has gotten obsessed with those charcuterie boards lol 

viney: nahh we got it all! just bring yourself and your friends. anyone ya want! see ya saturday!!

“Wine and cheese night on Saturday at Emira’s?” She asked the group. 

“Oh, absolutely,” Gus answered, “It’ll be nice after the show to take a break.”

“I’m excited,” Willow smiled.

“I think we should bring a little gift for Emira, they are buying all the food,” Luz chuckled. 

“They told me I'm not allowed to,” Amity frowned.

The next few days go by quickly and they approach Saturday, and they were all excited for a break from everything. For some reason, Gus and Willow decided to drive over a little earlier so it was just Luz and her leaving now. She had seemed busy on her phone but she wasn’t sure why. Thankfully she doesn’t seem upset so she doesn’t need to worry about it meaning what it used to. 

They listened to the same playlist that Amity had made, they always did. But Amity noticed a new one in the recommended songs so she queued it. Once it came on, it immediately became their favorite one. They were singing along by the second chorus, and before Amity knew it, they were at the apartment complex. Luz pulled out her phone before they got out of the car, and Amity didn’t try to think much of it, but soon after she was opening the door for her. 

“You excited?” Luz asked enthusiastically. 

“For a wine and cheese night? I mean I guess so,” Amity chuckled, “It’s a nice break but its not like it’s a crazy event.”

“Yeah, I guess you’re right, but I am excited,” Luz smirked. 

Amity looked at her quizzically, but just laughed it off as they approached the back door. Luz grinned at her before she opened the door and moved the curtains out of the way.

“Thank you–”

“SURPRISE!!!”

She looked around at all the decorations, streamers, balloons, and a banner that reads ‘ Happy Birthday Amity’.

Oh my god… my birthday… She had completely forgotten about it. Well, to be truthful she knew it was coming up, but the days had been passing before she caught up mentally with what the actual date was. 

“I–,” Amity gasps, “I didn’t even realize what day it was… thank you. Thank you all so much.”

“Well, we promised wine and cheese, but now we also have cake,” Emira smiled, moving to hug her sister, Ed coming into the hug as well.

“Happy 19th birthday, Mittens. My favorite, well the only, Aries I know,” Ed chuckled. 

They both let go and Emira mentioned that they were gonna get the cake so she could blow out the candles, she turns to Luz as she does. 

“You dirty little liar,” Amity jokingly snarls, “So that’s why you were so excited?”

“Well, duh!” Luz exclaims, “Happy Birthday, Bug.”

Amity suddenly grabs her in a hug, and Luz softens at the action. She then picks her up and twirls her around, Amity giggling as she does.

“Oh, but when I do that, you yell at me to put you down,” Ed scoffs, “Double standards, Mittens, double standards.”

“Yeah, well you’re six feet tall and Luz is nearly my height so it’s a lot less intimidating,” Amity laughs as Luz puts her down. 

Emira comes back with the cake and the lights are turned out as they all start singing to her. She puts a hand on Amity’s back as they do, and smiles down at her. Amity looks around the room at the people who came. There weren't too many people, and she knew it wasn’t gonna be some crazy party, but it warmed her heart that she had all the people she truly cared about in one room. And Matt. But he was starting to grow on all them. 

Boscha and Sam were also there, of course her family and the ‘Hexsquad’. And of course Viney and Hunter. They all grinned at her to wait for her to make a wish, and she could be corny and say she had ‘nothing to wish for because she had everything she wanted’, but she knew that wasn’t fully true. 

So she blew out the candles as she wished for things to be just a little bit more different. What that was, she wasn’t sure. But there was something missing that would make everything feel whole, not that she wasn’t incredibly grateful for the people standing around her. 

After that they dug into the cake, and everyone had a little bit of wine, cheese, fruit, the lot. They started a game of Mario Kart as they always do, acclimating both Boscha and Sam to the group’s dynamic. Sam was annoyingly good at it, which had Boscha both proud and pouting. 

There were a few smaller gifts for her, but she decided to take them home and open them later so she didn’t change the attention to herself. It may have been her birthday but she never really liked to have the full attention of any room.  

After about an hour into the party there was a knock on the door, they all looked at each other with confusion, Gus even started counting the people in the room to see if someone was missing. Emira laughed as she got up to answer the door out of view of the group. 

Amity heard it open but couldn’t hear a glimpse of the conversation, not until she heard Emira call for her. She lifted herself off the ground and went to her, by the time she saw the person behind Emira she stopped dead in her tracks for a moment. 

“Dad?” She furrowed her eyebrows. 

“Happy Birthday, Mittens,” He smiles awkwardly at her. Amity knew she should probably be angry at him, keep him at a distance, but the sight of him here made her feel warm. That’s what was missing. 

“T-Thank you… what are you… what are you doing here?” Amity asked as she slowly walked towards the door. 

“Well I came to tell you Happy Birthday.. I know you moved your dorms so I actually came to ask Emira if she knew where you moved,” Alador smiled, “If it was alright with you, I’d like to give you a gift, and to talk if you’re willing?”

“Did Mom send you?” She asks abruptly.

“Um, well no. That was one of the things I wanted to talk to you about.. Talk to all of you about,” He sighs, “Is there somewhere I can talk to the three of you? I see you have friends over and this is a family matter.”

Emira and Amity share a confused look before Emira leads them to her bedroom and grabs Ed along the way. Amity catches Luz’s eyes silently asking if she’s okay, Amity points her head to her father behind her and Luz’s eyes widen as she nods. 

Once they are all in the room, the three of them sit on the bed as Alador stands to look at them as if it’s a business briefing. He was holding a gift that he sat down on Emira’s dresser before taking a deep breath. 

“So… I want to first apologize for Odalia’s behavior- no our behavior the past few months. I know that we have specifically been absent in your life, Amity, and I cannot stress enough how sorry I am for that,” He starts. 

“I did not know what was happening. Your mother told me that you just decided to go with a friend for the holidays as if it was no big deal, and she said we would send your gifts. I mentioned about a week ago that we should have a birthday dinner for you, and she dismissed it completely, and that’s when I found the gifts she was supposed to send you.”

Amity looks at the others as Alador paces around the room, but they all are unsure of what exactly their Dad is getting at. 

“Long story short, she finally told me what’s happening. I do not, in any way, agree with how she handled the situation. And I especially was sick of the wall that has been built between us and our children, so I decided I have had enough,” He huffs, straightening his jacket before he reaches in his pocket and tosses something to Amity. 

She looks down to her hands and recognizes them as her car keys and she looks back at her father with wide eyes, “She gave you these to give back?”

“No. I left her,” He states. 

They all take a sharp breath in and stay silent for a moment to take it all in. Normally a parent sharing that they were leaving the other would be disheartening, but truthfully the news makes them all feel genuinely happy. Shocked, but overall approving. 

“Oh thank God,” Ed puffs out.

“You guys are… you guys are okay with this?” Alador questions.

“Are you kidding? She might be our mother but she was no mom to us. That woman is a witch,” Emira exclaims. 

“No, she’s a bitch. You can say it,” Alador laughs, “Well if you guys are okay, then so am I. Truthfully, I am more than okay. I actually am making plans to sell the business. I think it’s time that I start being more active in my children’s lives. I have a lot to make up for.”

They were already shocked about him leaving their mother, but him selling the business was not at all what they expected. But Amity also knew that it was in his name since he started it before Odalia came into his life, which means that she is probably furious. Probably ruinous. 

“Holy shit, Dad,” Ed said quietly in disbelief. 

“Yes, I know. Big changes in the Blight family this week,” He chuckles, “I’d be more than happy to take you all out for dinner and see you more often if possible. But for now, I owe a personal apology to Amity if you could excuse us.”

Ed and Emira get up and are about to leave before they turn around to hug him, and he softens into the hug, “I love you all.”

They smile before they leave the room, and Alador grabs the gift bag and sits next to Amity. 

“So you’re leaving Mom, giving me my keys back, and selling everything to be with us… anything more I should know?” She chuckles. 

“That there is no excuse in the world that I could give you to justify all of this,” He sighs, “But I’m hoping that this is a start.”

“It is,” She smiles. 

He hands her the gift and gestures for her to open it. She slowly takes the tissue paper out of the bag and sees both an apple keychain and a bumper sticker that reads ‘Future Educator.’

“I know Odalia was so against you putting things on your car, and she obviously was not supportive of the choice you made about your own future, so I wanted to make sure you know that I am proud of you for following your heart,” He says. 

“I know a bumper sticker shouldn’t be that big of a deal as a gift but it means so much more than you know, Dad. Thank you,” She says, her eyes starting to glisten. 

“Well, I have more for you coming in, some art supplies and such. I also wanted to reinstate your allowance so you don’t have to have the stress of a job on top of your studies,” He states.

“Oh... well I appreciate that but I actually really love my job,” she shrugs, “I get to work with Luz, my roommate and best friend, and my boss is like her second mom. It’s Eda Clawthrone, I think she said you all went to school together?”

“Edalyn? I remember her,” Alador answers, “She’s.. Eccentric. But overall a great person, so that’s good to hear. I wouldn’t mind still giving you a little extra so you don’t have to work or worry as much, if that’s okay?”

“I’m not gonna turn down money,” She chuckles. 

“Your mother also said that we haven’t been paying your tuition, but I checked your student account and it seems like you applied for scholarships to pay for it all. Resourceful, just like me,” he smiles, “However, I was more than prepared to pay for it, so is there anything I can do for you?”

“I–,” She starts but sighs, “I am grateful for all of this, and I hope you know that. But you can’t buy back our trust… it’s gonna take some time.”

“I understand,” He says after a moment, “But this is more of me trying to take care of the damage your mother caused. I don’t want to buy your love and trust, I want to earn it. To prove that I deserve it.”

“Oh, I’m not sure right now,” Amity furrows her brows. 

“When’s your spring break?” He asks.

“It actually started today, and ends next Sunday. Why?” She slowly states. 

“What if I paid for you and your friends to go down to our beach house?”

“I forgot we had that… I couldn’t ask that from you, I know you probably don’t want to pay for some strangers to–”

“If they are your friends, they aren’t strangers. I’m sure they’re more like family to you all,” He smiles. 

“Yeah.. they are,” She grins at her hands, “Are you sure? There’s a lot of us..”

“It’s a big beach house. I have plenty of flying miles that I need to cash out as well, and I’ll have a rental car ready for you at the airport when you land. I just want you to have fun, I’m sure the last few months have been stressful enough,” He finishes. 

She hesitates before she gives him a hug, still feeling guilty that she’s taking advantage of his guilt. But truthfully, a trip would serve them all well. And who was she to say no to a fun trip?

“Do you wanna tell them all?” She asks.

“It’s alright, I don’t want them to thank me for something that I needed to do to make up for everything,” He squeezes her, “Happy Birthday, Mittens.”

“Thank you, Dad,” She sniffles. 

The siblings all say goodbye to him and he gives them all one final hug before he leaves, and they join everyone in the living room. The room is silent while they look to Amity, Emira, or Ed to explain. 

“So… are you okay?” Luz breaks the silence.

“I think... I think I am,” Amity says. 

“Odalia can now rot and get the fuck out of our lives,” Ed laughs, Amity and Em joining in. 

“Our dad is… leaving her, and selling the company,” Emira explains. 

“Oh, wow,” Hunter says quietly. 

“That’s good news, by the way,” Amity adds, “Also I have better news.”

The room looks at her quizzically, Ed and Em doing the same since they also had no idea what she was about to say.

“Alador is flying us down to our beach house for our spring break,” She bites her lip. 

“No fucking way,” Ed says quietly. 

“And here I thought we were just gonna camp out at the apartment doing nothing for the week,” Em laughs. 

“Wait... so we are all able to go?” Gus asks. 

“Yep… anyone. I just have to let him know who wants to so he can buy the flight and get a big enough rental car. Or two, I guess,” Amity shrugs.

“Uhhhh, I think we’re in,” Luz chuckles. 

“So… we’re going to Florida?” Amity grins.“WE ARE GOING TO FLORIDA, BABY!” Ed yells.

Chapter Text

Amity’s birthday party was cut short by the entire gang running to start packing, not that Amity was upset about it. She wasn’t necessarily the type to enjoy being in the center of attention anyway, and the excitement of a trip that offered an escape from the stress of being a student was more than welcome. 

Sadly, Boscha and Sam had already made plans to go back to Boscha’s hometown so Sam could meet her parents so they shared goodbyes for the week. Matt was being forced on a fishing trip with his brother, so he would also not be going with the group, but secretly Luz and Amity were more than okay with that. 

So the eight of them were planning on leaving tomorrow afternoon according to Alador’s flight plans, however there were small things to tend to before then. As far as Amity’s summer clothing, it was stocked away in her trunk since before she had her keys taken away, and she had never been more grateful for her procrastination of moving it from her car to her house. 

And that was the other saving grace, she had her car back. That weight had been taken off her shoulders, and she was half tempted to drive to Florida with that returned freedom, but Luz talked her out of that on the basis of a eighteen hour road trip. 

Once they were back at the dorm, they all met Luz and Amity’s room while the two of them packed. They planned on having a sleepover in order to make sure everyone woke up in time. Amity forced them all to come out to her car since it was dark out, and she needed her summer clothes. 

They all stood staring at the car while Amity drew up the courage to finally unlock it. It truly should not have been that big of a deal, and she is frustrated that her mind is treating it like it is. But part of her isn’t convinced it is real. She shook her head and finally pressed the unlock button on her key fob, and smiled when it did.

“I have my car back,” She grins.

“I’ve been isolated in the No-Car-Alliance,” Gus huffs. 

“This is super exciting, but it’s freezing out. You can drive us to the airport tomorrow with this newfound freedom, but please grab your clothes,” Willow chuckles. 

“Right,” Amity nods. 

Luz had to help her carry the giant laundry bag of clothing, she had always been somewhat of a clothes hoarder but everytime she tried to get rid of any of them she was never able to get rid of more than five items.

One suitcase was used between the two of them, and Amity took up the majority of the space in it. She had always had more clothes than her, hence why half of them were stored in her car. But as they both knew, that never stopped her from stealing Luz’s clothes anyway. 

The dorm was set up how it always was for their sleepover sans the actual ‘fort’ part of it since it would just be more for them to clean up in the morning. Willow was in Luz’s bed, Gus in Amity’s(which they bullied him into climbing up in), and them on the ground. 

Of course they should have slept in their own beds considering it was their room, however they haven’t slept next to each other as much as they used to, so whenever there was a reason they both sort of embraced it like a delicacy. Amity also felt like this was different because the most recent times they had was when she was comforting Luz after her birthday. 

So there they were, facing each other with Gus and Willow fast asleep nearby. Luz had Amity’s hand in hers as she traced letters in the back of it while Amity guessed. It was mainly lighthearted things for a while until Luz’s eyes softened as she started the next sequence. 

“R?” Amity whispered, Luz nodding. 

“U… O.. K? Am I okay?” Amity asked. Luz nodded again, biting her lip and moving their hands down so they could see each other better. “I mean.. Yeah, I guess I’m a little tired because it’s nearly three–”

“No, I mean because your Dad showed up.. And how your parents are getting divorced.. And the business is being sold?” She softly reminded her. 

“Oh… right,” Amity took a deep breath, “I think I am okay. I mean.. I know that I shouldn’t be, but I’ve faced harder things.”

“Like what Odalia did?” Luz quietly asked. 

“Yeah. Like what Odalia did,” Amity chuckled slightly, “I know I should be distraught about my parents getting divorced but… I don’t know, it feels like something that should have happened a while ago. And of course I am not just gonna forget how my dad just ignored us for her and for the business for so long, but he’s trying. It’s a start, ya know?”

“I’d say an all-expense-paid-trip for eight people is one hell of an expensive start,” Luz laughed. 

“I know this is gonna sound pretentious, however the money is not that big of a deal to him, or even us. He has it, and this is probably not gonna put that much of a dent in his bank account,” Amity scoffed, “I think the reason it means so much is because he’s giving us this freedom that Odalia never let us have. And he trusts us with it. We spent so much of our lives confined into this stupid idea of a ‘perfect family’ when, as we all know now, none of us were happy. Except her. And that was because she was controlling it all.”

“I guess... I guess that makes sense,” Luz said, taking a moment before she speaks again, “Sorry, I just… I definitely didn’t grow up with no money or anything. My mom worked her ass off and we were comfortable, but I used to dream of having the kind of money your family does. It just seemed like it would make everything… easy. But I guess I never considered that having that kind of money came with a lot of stipulations… I’m just trying to understand, sorry if I sound–”

“No, you’re fine,” Amity smiled, “I grew up extremely privileged. I wouldn’t say I was a brat because that would mean stepping out of line, but that doesnt mean things weren’t incredibly easier for me because of the money. But I think the worst part was that the ‘love’ that our own mother gave us was that money, and whenever we did anything she didn’t like she’d remind us just how much power she had with it. It was all… conditional, ya know?”

“Yeah...” Luz answered. 

There was a moment between them as Amity thought back to everything she and her siblings should have had as children, and none of it could have been bought with money. Her father did his best for a few years until it all took over his life and they had no one but each other. The silver lining was that it made them care for each other so deeply, look out for each other. 

She feels guilty about hating the life she had because it seemed insensitive when there are people who would've done anything to have the things she had as a child, the stability she had. But it was all material, and she hadn’t realized there was more beyond that until she got to college and actually started experiencing it all. Until it was just her and her siblings away from it all, and they were able to be a family. Not just a dynamic being forced. 

“Hey Am?” Luz pulled her out of her thoughts. She looked up at her, and Luz smiled as she put her hand on her cheek, “There’s nothing conditional about any of this. I know we can’t make up for the love you deserved, but I hope you know that we will all spend forever making sure you know you deserve unconditional love… I will.”

Amity’s eyes were glistening before Luz had spoken as she thought about her family, so now there was no stopping the tears from finally falling. She didn’t know how to thank Luz for what she had introduced her to. This whole group of people who wanted nothing from each other, but just wanted to pour into one another instead. She had Em and Ed, but they could only do so much as they healed themselves. And Luz was like a lighthouse that drove her to land, and that kind of relief isn’t easy for Amity to put into words without crying harder, so instead she just buried her head into Luz’s chest.

Luz rubbed her back and played with her hair and didn’t mention anything about Amity crying, and after a few minutes she stopped and was about to fall asleep before Luz added one last thing. 

“Happy Birthday, Bug.”

________________________

Amity reveled in the new found freedom she got from driving her car once again, even if it was only to get them to the airport. Truthfully, she had anxiety about making sure they were there on time, a vacation like this would normally take her at least a week of planning so without a full blown itinerary, she felt out of control. 

Sitting in the terminal, she whipped out her laptop to start that planning so there was, at the very least, a layout of how the week would go. She researched activities for them to go do, what the weather would be like, the restaurants and grocery stores nearby, anything she could think of that they might need to know. 

“I can’t believe you brought your laptop on vacation with us,” Luz chuckled while she sat down next to her. 

“Someone needs to plan!” She defended, “Also we need room assignments so it’s not a free for all when we get there.”

“Room Assignments? Amity, this isn’t a middle school field trip,” Hunter butted in.

“Oh, I’m sorry, were you just hoping you could weasel your way into a room with Willow?” Amity retorted.

“Keep your mouth shut, you’re lucky she’s asleep across the room,” Hunter whisper-yelled as he looked over to her and a fond smile spread across his face. 

“Oh, are we meddling?” Luz cheered quietly. 

“You two are doing nothing, thank you very much,” Hunter warned with a pointed finger, “Amity, I don’t care where you put me.”

“So what I’m hearing is–” She started, quickly followed by a groan from Hunter as he walked away. Amity and Luz laughed as Amity returned to her spreadsheet. 

“So, I’m guessing that we are sharing a room considering we quite literally already do?” Luz poked.

“Oh… I wasn’t sure because we’d have to share a bed and I know that’s not something we do.. We’d also have to share a bathroom and that might just be a lot for us–” Amity’s sarcasm was cut short with a shove from Luz. 

“You are such a dork, Bug,” She laughed, “Okay, you and me, Viney and Em… are we meddling with Willow and Hunter?” 

“I think I may just put her with Gus because I’m not doing favors for Hunter. He’s gotta make the moves for himself and prove he has any game,” Amity shrugged. 

“Ooo, she’s feisty,” Luz said, “Also, we are getting the biggest room because with all this planning you deserve it. Not to mention it was just your birthday yesterday.”

“I like the way you think,” Amity smiled. 

They boarded their plane pretty quick after that, and Amity was surprised to find out that Luz was slightly afraid of flying. She played it cool for so long until the plane started moving and she started to cling to Amity immediately. Of course, Amity was completely okay with comforting and holding her hand while they took off. 

Willow was once again fast asleep, Em and Viney were reading a book, Hunter, Gus, and Ed were playing some game on Ed’s switch, and Amity took in the whole scene. It wasn’t necessarily some memorable moment but she just felt content with where she was now. With her family, as patched together as it may be. 

______________________

After five hours and one connecting flight, they arrived in Florida and had figured out the whole rental car situation. The company had a policy that you had to be 21 years old to drive the car, so they were split between Ed’s car and Em’s car. But of course, they weren’t gonna be that strict on the rules once they were actually in Cape San Blas.

However, for the extra two hour drive from the airport, they decided to stick with it. Even if Luz and Amity agreed they wouldn’t meddle with the room assignments, that doesn’t mean they couldn’t force Willow in the back seat with Hunter. So, Luz and Amity were with Viney and Em, and Ed sped past them, deciding to take his undefeated title in MarioKart literally. 

“He’s gonna get a ticket,” Em sighed. 

They all chuckled a bit, still acclimating to being awake after the flight. They were all ready to get to the house, settle in, then get to the store to get food for the week. Of course they were going to go out a few times for meals, but the idea of a group effort of cooking was also something that seemed fun to all of them(Amity scheduled them all out on an excel sheet with ingredients and who has what job, of course). 

They arrived quicker than Amity thought they would, starting to be consumed by The Rise of Kyoshi that Luz had finally forced into her hands. The people in Ed’s car were somehow not there yet despite Ed driving as fast as he was. 

“Holy shit, he actually may have gotten pulled over…” Emira followed Amity as she put in the code to the keylock on the door that her Dad had texted her. 

She opened it, pushing it ajar as she stood in the doorway, waiting for the rest of the people in the car to unload the trunk. She stepped through, taking it all in as her mind flashed with memories of when they were children running around the beach house. 

“It looks the exact same,” Emira said. 

“And smells like it too… a little dusty though,” Amity chuckled while they all hauled their luggage in.

They split up into the rooms that Amity put them in, starting to unpack toiletries and smaller things to make the week easier. Amity had never truly been in the master bedroom because it was always for her parents, so she was just as curious about the room and the larger bathroom. 

“BUG!” Luz called from their bathroom, “There’s a jacuzzi! It’s HUGE!!!” 

Amity joined her to find a tub that was nearly the size of a commercial hot tub, surprised to know that it was yet another thing she didn’t know existed in the room.

“Hear me out, we throw on our swimsuits and get drunk in it,” Luz proposes. 

“Maybe tonight, but we need to go to the store once Ed’s car gets here,” she laughed, leaving to go onto the balcony attached to their room. It had a view of the beach that the property was on, and even though it was a somewhat cloudy day, it was a breathtaking view. 

Luz walked out with her, holding a disposable camera. They had gotten them in the airport while they waited for Ed and Emira to sort out the rental cars, they had their phones to take pictures but they thought the added fun of rediscovering moments they captured after they got back would be worth it. 

Amity smiled at the thought of having something to look forward to when they get home, and returned her gaze to the shore. That’s when she heard the camera click, and she furrowed her eyebrows back at Luz. 

“What? It’s a pretty view,” Luz shrugged, blushing slightly. 

Before Amity could question her, she heard car doors slamming shut from the other side of the house. From the looks of it, Luz heard it too and they shared a look before they walked out of their room to find the rest of their crew finally making it into the beach house. 

Willow walked up to them first, trying to stifle a laugh before she spoke, “Ed got pulled over.. He’s not happy.”

“Called it!” Emira shouted from her and Viney’s room.

“SHUT THE HELL UP, EMIRA!” Ed yelled back as he made his way into the room that he and Hunter would be sharing. 

“What if I just slept on the couch so I don’t have to deal with that?” Hunter questioned as he walked through the front door. 

“I mean, nothing is stopping you. It just wouldn’t be very comfortable and you’d be woken up by everyone else,” Willow shrugged. 

“Good point, wish me luck,” He sighed, following Ed into the room. 

Within an hour, they were all more settled into the house and ready to make a trip to the nearest grocery store in order to get food for the week… and for Ed and Em to buy them alcohol. 

The catch to it was that Emira wanted to surprise them with something other than the wine they always got. They were in no position to say no, so while she went to do that the rest of them split off to get groceries. 

Amity had an entire meal plan set up with who was cooking what and when, so everyone had their own list of what to get. As much as Luz and Amity worked well as a team, she also didn’t trust the rest to not set the house on fire. She kept Emira and Viney together, but she separated out her, Luz, and Willow to delegate between the boys. 

Luz said she wanted to be with Ed so they could bond. Amity was hesitant because she knew that they were both competitive, however Luz made a good point that Amity would rip her hair out if she had to cook a meal with her brother. And the obvious answer was to put Willow and Hunter together even though they said they wouldn’t meddle. 

So that put her with Gus, and she loved Gus. Truly, she did. But she also knew that out of everyone, he was the king of meddling. And from the moment they split off to get ingredients, she was proven right. 

“So, are you done trying to ‘find your voice’ or whatever?” He prodded. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Amity shrugged, a poor attempt at lying. 

“Please, you know exactly what I mean. Are you gonna tell her, or is it all a lost cause?”

“It’s not a– you don’t—” Amity sighed, “Gus, do you seriously think that in the middle of all the shit that has been happening since her birthday that there was any good time to confess my feelings to her?” 

Gus opened his mouth but quickly shut it once he realized that she was right. Amity flattened her lips with an ‘ exactly’ nod and started down the next aisle to get pancake mix for them. Gus followed shortly after, and she could feel his hesitation. 

She could have kept going, she could have gone on and on about how she desperately wanted to tell her. She’s done being afraid, she’s tired of everyone keeping a secret for her, she wants nothing more than to pour her heart out to Luz. But with everything that happened, she can’t jump straight to pouring her heart out. 

“Well, it may not be telling her your undying love but you can let her know that you at least care ,” Gus said as he pointed to the section at the end of the aisle. 

She followed his gaze to the bakery section of the store, where multiple pre-made cakes sat. She looked at him quizzically as he led them to it. 

“Gus, I am sure she knows I care–”

“Well yeah, of course she does. But she did have a shit birthday, so maybe you can make an effort to fix it. Like a redo,” He said as he picked up a cake with ‘ Happy Birthday’ written in purple icing. It wasn’t too big, but it was great for the eight of them. 

Truthfully, he was entirely right about Luz deserving a better celebration for her birthday. She had made sure that Amity did, and having to remember that day as the day she was left heartbroken instead of turning nineteen made Amity’s heart twist at the thought. 

She picked it up and put it in the cart without thinking twice, “Take the cart and go grab the other stuff we need for breakfast, I’m gonna text Ed so he can stall her a little bit longer while we check out and put it in the car.”

Gus smirked and moved on to the next section while she grabbed candles and sent a quick message to Ed to explain why he needed to stall. He was an actor, he’d figure it out. 

________________________

They made it back to the house, Luz in Ed’s car so Amity could explain the situation to Emira, Viney, and Willow. Luz protested a bit, but they made it work:

“But we’ve rode together this whole time! I wanna sit by you,” Luz pouted.

“You said you wanted to bond with him,” Amity smirked. 

“Yeah, bond. But I didn’t say I wanted to be with him in a car… you know he just got pulled over right?”

“HEY I HEARD THAT!” Ed shouted as he loaded the car. 

Eventually, Willow covered by saying that she wanted to ride with Amity, so it worked out. 

Willow and Hunter had already started grilling on the deck since it was their night to cook, and the group left them alone.. To cook, not flirt or anything. 

Emira was in the kitchen with Viney, making margaritas for everyone. Gus and Ed were playing MarioKart(as always) in the living room since Ed brought his Switch, and Amity was desperately trying to find a quiet place for her to read. With the blender going, the TV at full volume, and even the faint sound of the grill sizzling outside, she felt like she was twitching. 

“You wanna go in the room so you can read?” Luz interrupted her as she read the same page for a third time. 

“Yeah, I can’t even hear my own thoughts right now,” Amity groaned, taking Luz’s hand to go into their room. She caught Em’s smug look on the way, and rolled her eyes back at her. 

Luz closed the door behind them and plopped onto the bed, “You weren’t the only one, I love our friends but God do they make me wanna ram myself through a wall sometimes.”

“It’s the sensory overload, not the people,” Amity laughed, plopping down next to her. 

“That’s true,” Luz chuckled, “Anyways, what part of the book are you in?”

“Kyoshi and Rangi just met The Flying Opera Company and they’re making her–” Amity starts.

“Oh! So you just met Kirima, Lek, Lao Ge, and Wong?” Luz interrupts her. 

“Yeah, I like Kirima. She’s fierce,” Amity comments, picking her book back up to find her bookmark. 

“She is fierce. I can leave you alone so you can keep reading, though,” Luz smiles.

“I don’t know if I’m gonna keep reading right now. I want to, but I have a slight headache from all the noise,” Amity shrugs. 

Luz nods slowly for a moment, then softly takes the book from her hands while she skims through the page that her bookmark sat in, “Would you want me to read to you for a bit? It might help make you feel less anxious.”

“I couldn’t ask you to–”

“Amity, I practically begged you to read this because of how much I love it. I definitely don’t mind rereading it if it means you get to hear the story,” Luz says. 

“Okay… thank you,” Amity smiled. 

They positioned themselves so that Luz was sitting up against the headboard of the bed while Amity’s head laid in her lap, reading the words Luz read them. The moment was serene, and all she could ever want. Her headache had gone away within the first ten minutes, but she had no intention of telling that to Luz as she continued to read to her. 

She had a feeling that Luz also wouldn’t stop even if she did tell her, not only because she gets to reread one of her favorite books, but she also has been so excited to share it with Amity that it’s probably just as peaceful for her. 

Laying in Luz’s lap while hearing her voice was the perfect remedy for the exhaustion that set into Amity from two flights, a road trip, and a grocery store run with all of their friends. Her eyelids grew heavier by the second, and as much as she tried to fight it, she let her eyes shut for what she hoped would only be a moment. 

However, Luz woke her up from her power-nap about an hour later, “Bug, I’m sorry to wake you, but dinner’s ready.”

“It’s okay, sorry I fell asleep…” She yawned. 

“It’s been a long day. I get it,” She shrugged as Amity sat up and started to get out of the bed, “I don’t know when you fell asleep though, so later on just tell me the last thing you remember so we can pick back up there. I like reading to you.”

“I like it too,” Amity smiled, offering her hand to Luz so she could help her out of bed. She didn’t need it, but it’s always been a gesture they offered each other at any given moment. 

They met everyone on the deck while they were making their plates, and the smell of the food also made Amity realize that she hadn’t eaten much in the chaos of the day. None of them had, they had snacked on airport and gas station food on the journey but that was truly it. 

Sufficed to say, they were all indulging in the burgers and collectively taking in the view from the deck. The deck was right below Luz and Amity’s balcony, looking out onto the beach. The sun had set, and the moon was being reflected off the water. 

Although they were all exhausted, the adrenaline from them being on the beach and it being spring break had set into the group as they sipped on margaritas. 

Amity, however, knew she’d probably pass out within an hour after eating and chose not to drink tonight. As much as it was going to be a fun and memorable trip, it was still a break and she didn’t mind turning in early on her first night. 

After she finished helping the group clean up, she slipped off upstairs to their room so she could finally fall asleep. They were all having fun goofing off with one another, so they wouldn’t notice she was gone until she was hopefully asleep. And by that time, Emira would vouch for her because she understands just how tired Amity can get after a big trip. 

However, she hadn’t taken a trip yet with Luz, so of course she followed after her without Amity noticing. She came out of the bathroom after changing into sweatpants and doing her nightly routine, and jumped when she saw Luz sitting on the bed with her drink in hand. 

“Luz!” She yelped, “I didn’t know you were in here, you scared the shit out of me!”

“I do share this room with you,” Luz laughed, “And also I live with you so I’d hope you’d be used to seeing me around by now.”

“You know what I mean,” Amity stuck her tongue out, walking to the other side of the bed to lay down.

“So… are we going to bed?” Luz asked. 

“I am, but you should go down and have fun,” Amity smiled up at her. 

“I don’t want you to feel left–”

“Luz, I promise I won’t feel left out. I’ll be fine, I just need to recharge if I wanna have fun for the rest of the week,” Amity yawned. 

“But what if Hunter does something stupid? I know you wouldn’t want to miss out on that,” Luz smirks. 

“Then you’ll tell me all about it tomorrow,” Amity shrugged. Luz still didn’t seem like she was convinced, and Amity could tell she would feel guilty if she left her alone.

“Bee, if I wanted to be down there right now with everyone, I would be. But I just want to sleep a little more right now,” Amity chuckled. 

“But what about me?” Luz whined, “Don’t you wanna hang out with me?” 

That was when Amity realized that Luz’s drink was almost gone, and because of all the wine nights they’d had together, she knew that Luz was sort of an affectionate and clingy drunk. It was entirely too sweet to be annoying, though. 

“Luz, of course I wanna hang out with you. But you know me, I need more sleep than the average person and I didn’t get to nap too much today like everyone else,” Amity said. 

“Yeah.. and you do get a little irritable towards people when you’re sleepy,” Luz poked, “But never to me, what’s that about?”

“You’re too sweet to be irritable towards,” Amity shrugged, not realizing that some of her filter was being brought down with her tiredness. 

“Awwww, what do you like me or something, Bug?” Luz smiled, poking her cheek.

“Ehhh, you’re alright, I guess,” Amity jokes. 

“I’ll settle for alright,” Luz said, putting her glass down on her bedside table and laying down to face Amity, “What if I just stay in here until you fall asleep? I don’t like the idea of you falling asleep alone.”

“You won’t be in here long then, because I’m not even fully sure if I’m awake right now,” Amity said with yet another yawn.

“Are you telling me that you regularly dream about me to the point where you’re not sure if you’re awake or asleep right now?” Luz taunted. 

“Something like that,” Amity mumbled, letting her heavy eyelids finally shut. 

“Hmm… something like that for me too,” Luz said quietly. 

She doesn’t remember exactly how soon she fell asleep after that, or even if part of the conversation wasn’t actually a dream. However after what she assumed was hours later, she did remember Luz climbing into their bed and melting into her. Her body moved to embrace her before her mind even caught up, and she was once again pulled back into sleep. 

_______________________

She woke up to the sound of waves crashing on the shore and light peaking through the curtains, and for a moment she forgot where she was. Not only were they thousands of miles from Hexside, but she was also in the room of the house that in the past had not been hers. 

Her reminder was heavy on her chest with messy hair and soft snores. She may not have physically been there, but she was still home. 

Most times they fell asleep together, Amity was curled up into her. However, in the past few times while Amity started comforting her at night, the roles started to be reversed. She loved holding her as much as she loved being held by her. 

She could hear commotion from downstairs, so she started rubbing Luz’s back to slowly wake her. She could stay here all day or even all week and it would be just as fulfilling of a vacation, but she knew that their friends would probably wake them up if they didn’t get up soon. 

She stirred before she started rubbing her eyes and rolled over next to Amity, “Ughhh, I don’t wanna get up yet.”

“Me neither, but we got a beach to explore,” Amity said, sitting up to stretch. She finally felt restored enough to start their vacation off right. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Luz yawned, “You go get ready, I want a few extra minutes.”

Luz curled up into a ball and pulled the duvet up around her, “Okay, but if you’re not up by the time I get back, I’m gonna jump-attack you,” Amity chuckled. 

“I get the feeling that you’re being serious about that..” Luz mumbled. 

Amity smiled, moving to get her clothes out for the day before heading to the bathroom to put them on and brush her teeth, wash her face, do her hair, the whole lot. By the time she got back, Luz was in fact still in bed, but she was awake and on her phone. 

She spared her this time, and instead pulled the blanket off of her, “Get up sleepyhead, we got fun things to do!”

“Now I know you are not this much of a morning person. Florida changed you,” She glared with sarcasm. 

Amity shrugged before she headed down stairs to the rest of the crew, all who were up and ready besides Willow. Luz may have been right about Amity not being much of a morning person, but Willow was downright scary when the sun rose. They had learned their lesson to let her wake up on her own terms. 

Emira and Viney were packing up snacks in the cooler to bring to the beach, along with some drinks for anyone who wants them (but Amity thinks it’s a bad idea to drink when there’s possibly deep waters involved). 

They are all eating some sort of breakfast as Luz makes her way downstairs in her day clothes, and by the time all of them had fully eaten something, Willow came out of her and Gus’s room fully dressed and ready to start the day with them. 

She grabbed a few of the granola bars that they had bought for the mornings, and considering that Gus and Amity were gonna make them all a ‘brunch’ which was actually just going to be breakfast food in the middle of the afternoon, most of them settled on the fruits and snacks that they were packing for the beach. 

They were right on the beach so it wouldn’t have been a long walk by any means, however they still had a bunch of stuff to bring with them. As they left the house, Amity breathed in the salty air with a smile. She had always loved the beach and just being in the gulf in general as a kid. It was calm at times like now, but there were also thunderstorms that came in and out that were soothing to her in a way. The ocean was unpredictable of course, but most of the time the white sand and clear water during this time of the year was exactly what she needed to calm her down during the chaos that had been happening during this semester. 

March wasn’t exactly the best time of the year to be at the beach since it was less than seventy degrees outside and she knew the water had to be cold this time of year. But after the frigid winter of Connecticut, she wasn’t exactly one to complain. 

They set up their towels in the sand and Ed immediately threw his skimboard into the water. He was strangely good at it, but he still wiped out many times in the process. 

“How cold do you think the water is?” Gus asked with a cringe.

“Oh it’s probably freezing but that’s part of the fun,” Willow shrugged, pulling Gus towards the water. 

Em and Viney were moving the sand around so they could create faux beach chairs out of them and sit next to one another, and Hunter set up the small bluetooth speaker to play some music. 

“So are we getting in the water first or building a sand castle?” Luz asked excitedly.

Amity loved how Luz was a child at heart, she held onto the adventurous and creative aspects of it all. Where most young adults would try their hardest to leave that part of themselves behind, she embraced it. It made her more genuine than most people their age, and also made one hell of an artist. 

“I like the sand castle idea,” Amity smiled. 

Surprisingly, Hunter was okay with them burying his legs and making a mermaid tail(Luz’s idea) for him. He even helped them make the actual castle, even moat around it. They eventually also dug a huge hole close enough to the shore for water to wash up into like a small pool. 

On top of Luz holding onto her own youth, she brought it out in others on many occasions. Amity can’t help but believe she’d also make a wonderful teacher, teaching art or english, hell she would make history exciting. 

Hunter seemed happier than he had in a while, and Willow and Gus stepping in to help them made him seem even brighter. He rarely reacted to being teased well, but with Willow he seemed to blush. As much as Amity wanted to make fun of him for it, she also couldn’t help her heart swelling for them both. He deserved some happiness in his life, and with Willow he started lighting up. Him and Gus were starting to nerd out together, and he even started getting Gus into some of his student films. 

Finally Ed came up to them, holding his board and smirking at Hunter, “Come on Hunter, I’m teaching you how to skimboard.”

“I– Um, it’s okay,” Hunter stuttered, “I’m okay in the sand.”

“Oh my god, are you scared of the ocean?” Amity taunted. 

“I– No? I just… the water is cold that’s all? We have a small heated pool at the house, I’ll swim in that,” He said, trying to dismiss the conversation. But they wouldn’t let up. 

“Because the sea creatures can’t get you in the chlorine?” Luz snuck in, giggling. 

“It’s cleaner than the ocean!” Hunter protested. 

“You’re scared, ” Amity smirked. 

“OKAY! I’m scared, okay? You happy?” He snarled, “There’s jellyfish and sharks and those little fish that– why would anyone want to feel those things swim past you? It’s weird!” 

“There are no sharks near here, we’d know. The water is too shallow,” Willow encouraged. 

“But the jellyfish have to be everywhere and I’d rather not end up in a position where any of you get to literally piss on me,” Hunter stated. 

“They usually are most common in the late summer and early fall. It's their migration season then, so there shouldn’t be any!” Gus said, all of them looking at him with an eyebrow raised, “What? I went through a marine biology phase in highschool.”

“Well, like I said, the water’s cold,” Hunter said like it was a matter of fact.

“Okay, then when we get back you’ll warm up in the ‘heated pool’, ” Ed smirked, holding his hand out to get him to the water. 

“I’m not getting out of this, am I?” Hunter whined, the rest of the group answering in a chorus of ‘No’ and ‘Nope’. 

“Hey, I’ll do it first if that’ll make you feel better?” Willow smiled. 

They watched as Ed walked her through the basics, and of course, Willow picked it up quickly. She would catch herself before she’d fall, and did her best to show Hunter he didn’t need to be in the water too much. 

Hunter finally stepped forward, after Ed basically forced him to. He looked back at the group, pleading with them to let him back out, but he was met with Amity, Gus, and Luz crossing their arms with a smirk. 

He finally got a running start before he jumped onto the board and almost immediately ate shit in the sand. Gus and Willow had to step away while they stifled a laugh, but Amity didn’t even try to hide her shriek of a laughing fit. 

“I hate you all so much,” Hunter yelled, his hair plastered to his face from the water, “Why don’t you all give it a try and see if you can stay on? Huh?”

Luz stepped forward, taking the board from him and started toward the water as she gracefully skimmed across the water, “See it’s not that hard–”

Just as she was getting cocky, the board drove itself into the sand and she was thrown off of it into the water. The whole group was laughing at this point, and Amity once again couldn’t help but hysterically laugh, but this time she went to her to help her out as she did. 

Once Luz was up and just as mopey as Hunter was, Amity had to squat down because the hilarity of it all made her weak, “ Oh my fucking god this is too good!”

“See? Not so easy, HUH?” Hunter asserted. 

“Well at least I’m not scared of a few minnows!” Luz shot back. 

“Hmph,” Hunter replied with a snarky look, going back to the sand castle. 

“I’m so sorry–” Amity breathed out, “I’m sorry, it’s not funny, are you okay?”

“I’m fine, my ego’s a little bruised though,” Luz commented before she smiled, “But you’re right, it is funny.”

She eventually fell into laughter as well, and Amity was nearly slap happy from the event. She finally caught her breath and started getting into the water with Luz, pulling her out so the water was at their waists.

Willow and Gus ran out to them, tackling them both to ensue a water fight. They started jumping into the waves, and pushing each other into the water laughing. That went on for a while before Emira called out to them. 

“Come on guys! Let’s go back to the house, I’m hungry,” Em shouted. 

Willow and Gus swam back to the shore first, Amity and Luz falling back behind them, “It’s gonna be so cold when we get out,” Amity pouted. 

“I know, you want me to get out first so I can get our towels? I’ll wrap you up like a burrito,” Luz smiled. 

“It’s fine, I’ll get out with you. But you can still wrap me up like a burrito.”

Once they were all wrapped up and carrying everything off the beach, Luz mumbled under her breath to Amity, “My ass really hurts from that fall, I think my whole thigh is bruised.”

Amity had to stifle another laugh from seeing the fall in her head again, “I cannot help you with that.”

“I might need ice,” Luz giggled. 

They eventually made it back inside, and they all changed into warmer clothes. They were out longer than they intended, making what was supposed to be a lunch a slightly early dinner instead. Luz in fact did have a huge bruise forming on the back of her right thigh, and it was scratched up from the sand. So she went to take a shower to clean up the wound. 

Amity was getting everything out that they had bought at the store so they would be prepared to get started. It may have been Gus and Amity’s meal, but they were all planning to help out in ways. But while Amity got out the pots, pans, and the griddle for the pancakes, they all congregated at the bar behind her, Gus leaning against the counter next to her. 

“What?” She laughed, “Why are you all staring at me? I’m just making the food?”

“We gotta talk about it,” Emira stated. 

“What? The fall? Luz is okay, a little banged up but she’ll be alright. I’ve seen her fall from our top bunk before–”

“No, you dweeb. You and her, ” Ed remarked. 

She looked at Gus who was smirking at her with his arms crossed as he leaned on the counter, “ You…”

“No, it’s all of us,” Viney said, “When are you gonna tell her?”

“Tell her what? I’m confused,” Hunter stepped in. 

“You’re lucky you’re pretty,” Ed sighed. 

“Hey!” Hunter defended, “But seriously, what?”

“Amity has been in love with Luz since she met her and hasn’t told her,” Willow informed. Hunter nodded as he caught on, even he understood what they meant once he knew the context. 

“I wouldn’t say in love –” Amity started. 

“Oh please,” Gus rolled his eyes, “Okay, but you still have, like, crazy intense feelings for her.”

Amity looked at all of them, pleading for them to stop with the interrogation. However, they wouldn't budge, so she deflated as she sighed.  They were right, however she had no idea what to say to them except the thing she’s always said.

“I’m just, ya know, waiting for the perfect moment,” She shrugged, turning back to the stove to turn it on. 

They all moaned at the sentence, Emira put her head in her hands before she turned to Viney, “Your resident is making me lose my mind.”

“SHE’S YOUR SISTER?!” Viney retorted. 

“Would you guys shut the hell up, she could hear you!” Amity hushed.

“Well someone’s gotta tell her!” Gus defended. 

Emira got up from her seat and came to Amity, she put her hands on her shoulders and leaned down, “Mittens, if you want a perfect moment then make it one. It’ll already be a perfect moment because you’re telling her you have feelings for her? Isn’t that enough?”

Amity sighed again, she knew Emira was right, as always. She knew her ‘perfect moment’ excuse was bullshit. At first it was about letting Luz heal, and now the thing that is holding her back is the thing that had always held her back. She glanced at the rest of them before she looked towards her feet. 

“But what if she doesn’t feel the same and I ruin everything?” Amity whispered. 

That made Emira half-smile before she pulled her into a hug, “I wish I could get it through your head that you are just as lovable as you think she is, all on your own. I wish you could see what we see. But the point is, you can’t be scared anymore. Remember what we said? You owe it to her and yourself to just try, Am.”

“And it’s Luz, her heart’s too big to let your friendship be ruined even if she didn’t feel the same. But I’m almost positive she does,” Willow smiled. 

Emira pulled away to look her in the eyes again, “Be brave.”  

They all simultaneously heard the door upstairs shut, and dispersed. Amity had to wipe her eyes after they were watering a bit at Emira’s sentiment. She gave her one more squeeze before she turned around to start helping her with food prep. 

Luz came down the stairs and through the hallway to join the rest of them, immediately going to Amity’s side. She could smell her shampoo, and she smiled at the familiar scent. Luz leaned into her before she whispered, “I think this is the biggest bruise I’ve ever had… including that time I fell off your bed.”

Amity laughed for a moment before looking back at her with sincerity in her eyes. They just knew each other, even down to remembering their shared moments at the same time. Luz clapped her hands and looked around at the food.

“So, what can I do to help?” She gleamed. 

________________________________

After they had eaten the bulk of two packs of bacon, a whole box of pancake mix, five pounds of hash browns, and even a dozen eggs, they were all sprawled out across the living room. They had also made mimosas, so it was the full breakfast-for-dinner experience. Also they were all slightly buzzed because of it.

“Alright, who’s up for a night beach walk?” Emira proposed. 

“That sounds so fun! We can find little crabs!!” Luz exclaimed. 

“Um.. I think I’ll stay back–” Amity stuttered. 

“What? Bug, no!” Luz whined. Amity blushed at Luz calling her that in front of everyone. 

“Amity is terrified of crabs,” Ed said with a chuckle, getting up from the couch to put on his shoes. 

“Anything with more than four legs, huh?” Luz smiled. 

“IT’S NOT NATURAL!!” Amity defended, “And crabs technically have eight, 10 if you count their pincers and they’re just– WHY DID NATURE CREATE THESE THINGS?”

“We’ll keep you safe, I promise,” Luz got up, pulling Amity up with her. 

“Ya know, for someone so deeply terrified of bugs and bug-like things, it’s ironic that Luz calls you that,” Hunter retorted.

“It’s because she’s cute like a lil’ bug!” Luz pouted. 

Luz walked towards the door to put her shoes on, and the whole room looked at her with eyebrows raised, arms crossed, and even a few smirks. Amity rolled her eyes at all of them and gave them a ‘keep your mouth shut’ glare. 

Amity had to practically be pushed out the door, and once again dragged into the sand. She even felt like her skin was crawling, despite not seeing a single crab since they started walking. She kept her eyes peeled though, ready to run if she needed to. 

“See, it’s not too bad. They might not be out right now,” Luz comforted her. 

“You know damn well that they are, they’re just planning their attack,” Amity stated. 

“No, they just know you’re too feisty to fuck with,” Luz teased, nudging her into the shoreline a little. 

“Tell that to Hunter, he tries his luck with me every day,” Amity scowled at him a few paces in front of them. 

“Well, he sees you like a little sister, of course he’s gonna screw with you,” Luz chuckles, “Anyways, you wanna know something?”

“What?” Amity asked, still on edge. 

“Do you remember when I told you that you talk in your sleep?” She smiled.

“Yeah?”

“You’re doing it again,” Luz taunted. 

“What?” Amity stopped in her tracks, bewildered at the thought of what she might be saying. 

“Yeah, I think you do it when you’re sleeping in new places. Anyways, you confessed your deepest darkest secret to me,” Luz said. 

Amity swallowed, “And what was that?”

Luz leaned down and paused before she whispered, “That you’re actually a witch from another realm.”

Amity pushed her back, “You had me worried!”

“What?” She dragged out, “You got a secret you’re not telling me or something?”

“No?” She said, but obviously not convincingly. She was beet red at this point, and thanked every God that might exist that it was just dark out  enough for Luz to not see it. Hopefully. 

“Oh my god, you do!” Luz exclaimed. 

“Do not,” Amity retorted. 

“Whatever you say, Bug,” She shrugged, “But I’ll figure it out anyways. You do remember that I know you better than anyone, right?”

“Whatever you say, Bee,” She smiled, walking past her. 

Luz jogged to meet up with her, and they stayed in a comfortable silence together for some time. They had their flashlights from their phones on, looking around for shells and for Amity to keep watch. They found quite a few shells, thankfully Willow remembered to bring a tote bag with her, so they were stored in there. Luz finally found a sand dollar which she was ecstatic about, and it made its way in the bag as well. 

Amity couldn’t help but smile at how excited Luz got about it. Even with everything that has happened in the past month, she was still finding new ways to be excited about life. Every silver lining, every good moment. She made it all memorable, doing homework, trips to Seven Eleven, doing laundry, everything. 

They eventually stopped looking, deciding that they had enough shells for the night. Eventually Luz and Amity fell back again, and they fell into old habits easily. They were holding hands and skipping down the shore line, laughing as they did so, almost falling multiple times. 

“BUG!” Luz stopped dead in her tracks, nearly making Amity fall by being yanked to a halt, “Do you see that?”

“What? It better not be a crab, I swear to–”

“No, it’s a turtle nest! Look!” She pointed, walking over to it. 

“Oh, that’s definitely better than a crab,” Amity said sweetly. 

They approached slowly, not wanting to startle any possible inhabitants. The pit had been taped off in an effort to keep the eggs safe. They kept their distance, respecting nature. They were silent as they looked at it, peering around to see if they could find any babies. 

“Do you see any?” Luz whispered.

“I don’t think so, I don’t think they’ve hatched yet,” Amity answered.

Luz frowned and walked towards the shore again, “That’s a shame, I wanted to see the sweet little angels.”

Amity hoped right then and there that they would hatch while they were there this week, Luz deserved to see the little creatures make their way to the water. And if she was being honest, she wanted to watch Luz experience it as well. 

Amity walked back towards her, and looked towards where the group was walking. They had walked far down the shore, and they all had already turned around to head back at one point. But their friends were nowhere in sight. 

“Did you see where they went?” Amity asked, still looking around. It was dark, but the light from the moon was enough to see down the beach. 

“No, I didn’t… Do you think we should call them to make sure they aren’t waiting for us somewhere?” She asked. Amity nodded and pulled out her phone to call Emira, it rang a few times before she answered.

“Yes, Amity?” She said, sounding like she expected the call completely.

“Hey, where are you all? We turned around and you were all gone–”

“Guess that means you two are alone… on the beach… under the moonlight,” Emira taunts, and Amity swears she can hear giggling from the whole group through the phone. 

Luz is distracted with the tide at her feet, so Amity turns away for a moment as she realizes that this was no accident, “Emira, I swear to god, this isn’t funny–”

“No, it’s not funny. It’s an opportunity. What’s that you said about ‘finding a perfect moment’?” Emira is smirking through the phone, Amity just knows it, “Be brave, Mittens.”

Before she can respond, the call is ended. She can feel her heart rate rising quickly, and her cheeks are on fire. She slowly turns to find Luz looking at her quizzically.

“What’d they say? Where are they?” She asks, oblivious. 

“Um.. They said they’re almost at the house.. So they’re pretty far away,” She says, trying to find her breath. Of course she wanted a perfect moment, and of course Emira was right that this was it. She hates when Emira is right. 

“Oh… so I guess it’s just you and me, Bug,” Luz smiles, offering her hand. 

Amity reaches her hand out, realizing she’s shaking. How do you even start a conversation like this? It should be easy to speak the feelings she’s always had, they’ve been so loud in her mind, so why is it so incredibly difficult to actually say it?

“Woah, you okay there, Am?” Luz chuckles, grabbing her hand to stabilize it, “It’s just me, the sharks might bite, but I promise I don’t.”

“Not sure if I believe that, I’ve seen you around Matt,” Amity laughs. It’s just Luz. You can do this. 

“Good point,” Luz winks as she pulls her closer so that she is only inches from her face. 

Amity’s breath hitches. She will never understand how they could go from teasing each other one moment, and the next her heart is skipping a beat with how Luz is looking at her. And with the city being far away from them, the only light is coming from the stars and moon. 

She finds herself in the same position she was in on Christmas. The moment is perfect, annoyingly so. It’s poetic and cheesy, and makes every emotion feel heightened. This time there’s no one around to ruin it, and the fireworks are only visible to the two of them. 

But, of course, nothing goes right for Amity. 

Within a split second, something crawls across Amity’s feet. She squeals as she is ripped away from the moment, and before she can register what she is doing she leaps onto Luz, earning an ‘ oof’ from her. 

“I knew this was gonna happen! I told you all how much I hated crabs,” She staggers out, still trying to calm herself down and curling in closer to Luz while looking at the ground, “I’m gonna throw up.. Or cry.. Or both.”

“You’re fine, Bug! I promise, I got you,” Luz laughs. 

“Don’t laugh! It’s a perfectly normal fear to have, they’re creepy and why do they look like that and– stop laughing at me!”

“I’m not!” Luz smiles at her, “I’m just remembering the first night we spent together in the dorm when you were standing on the toilet and you made me–”

“Oh my god, don’t remind me,” Amity groaned, causing Luz to laugh more. 

Amity was still looking nervously at the ground, half terrified of the crab and half tempted to find it just so she can get revenge for ruining their perfect moment. When she looks back up she finds Luz smiling at her. 

“What?” Amity whines, still embarrassed of the visceral reaction she just had. Instead of a movie-moment, the girl she was about to confess her true feelings to is taunting her. 

But once she returns her eyes to Luz, she sees that instead of a smirk or an eyebrow raised in amusement, she’s gleaming at her. And their faces are inches from one another, and the air feels lighter. 

“Nothing... I just–” Luz starts with her lips curled at the corners, “I just don’t think I tell you enough how beautiful you are.”

Any fear Amity had left her head immediately and was replaced by her cheeks being set ablaze. Luz was not breaking eye contact, and she realized that even in the chaos, nothing was ruined. It wasn’t picture-perfect, it was perfectly them. 

She was more sure than ever that there was no leap to be made, there wasn’t any line to be crossed. This isn’t some new scary territory, it’s where they were always supposed to end up. 

She wants to scream at herself for not realizing it sooner, for waiting as long as she did, but the only thing she can truly think about is the way that Luz is looking at her. How her arms gripped tighter around her, and the way the moon is reflecting off of the water behind them, illuminating the moment like it was written in the stars. 

“You know what else I don’t tell you?” Luz bites her lip, “That I notice every time you blush, especially if it’s because of me.”

For once in her life, Amity doesn’t think. She doesn’t allow herself to, instead she lets herself down from Luz’s embrace so she can find her footing. When she’s standing in front of her, Luz almost looks worried as if she said something wrong. 

But everything, the ocean behind them, the moon and stars above them, the sand below them, is entirely right. 

Before she loses her courage, she softly grabs Luz’s face and brings their faces even closer. She wants to savor every second of this, memorize it in her mind, so she pauses before their lips meet. 

Luz’s breath seems to be hitched, so she looks into her eyes and then down at her lips as if to ask if they were really going to do this. 

Luz returns the look, and Amity doesn’t waste another moment. 

Amity has read countless books, watched too many rom-coms, and has even dreamed of a moment like this. But nothing, nothing, could have prepared her for how beautiful it feels to kiss the person she’s been falling for in the months they’ve known each other. 

She feels more alive than she ever has, electricity flowing throughout her body as Luz wraps her arms around her waist to bring them even closer. Amity smiles into the kiss, feeling like she could fly to the moon that illuminates them. 

Luz smiles too, breaking the kiss so she can look at her, and tucks a loose strand of hair behind Amity’s ear. 

Amity’s cheeks hurt with how much she’s smiling, and Luz embraces her tighter and squeals as she lifts her off the ground to twirl her around. Amity is giggling with excitement, feeling happier than she ever has. 

Luz sets her down and laces their hands together, “ That is also something I’ve been meaning to tell you.”

Amity giggles back at her, unable to stop herself from turning bright red. She doesn’t feel the need to respond, after all, Luz notices when she blushes.

Luz suddenly looks dumbfounded, and grabs Amity’s face, squishing her cheeks together. 

“Oh my god, Amity.. we just kissed.”

“We did,” Amity smiles. 

“Why didn’t we do that sooner?” Luz gleams, “God, if I knew just how right it would feel I would have kissed you the moment I made you dump that damn slushie!”

“I wish you would’ve, it would’ve saved me from thinking about it for months,” Amity laughs. 

Luz suddenly lightly smacks Amity’s shoulder, “You’ve been thinking about that for months? And you didn’t tell me?” 

“You are hard to read, Luz Noceda,” Amity says, returning a slight shove to punctuate her point. 

“Not hard to fall for, apparently,” Luz smirks. 

“You—“ Amity scrunches her nose, unable to find words. 

“You like me,” Luz taunts, tickling her side a bit. 

“You like me, too!” Amity giggles, starting to chase her off. 

“Amity likes me, Amity likes me,” Luz sing-songs loudly, announcing it to the world. She starts running around backwards trying to get out of Amity’s reach, and Amity is laughing, squeezing her sides when she gets a chance. 

Then, just their luck, Luz trips and stumbles backward into the water with a yelp. 

“Luz!”

Amity reaches her at the same time that Luz is starting to stand back up with water dripping off of her.

“Leave it to me to ruin our moment by doing something dumb,” Luz cringes.

“Luz, nothing could have ruined that moment,” Amity smiles, grabbing her hand and leading them back where the tide can’t reach them.

“But now we have to walk back to the house and I’m gonna be cold and–” Luz is cut off by Amity once again kissing her.

“See? Nothing is ruined,” Amity states with a smirk.

“Please always shut me up like that,” Luz fawns, eyes still closed.

“Come on, Bee. Let’s get back to the house so you can change,” Amity giggles.

Luz shivers the whole way back to the house, but neither of them let go of the other’s hand. They had held hands a million times before then, but this time was entirely different. 

It felt better, it felt right. 

Chapter Text

Although they wanted to bask in the moment, Luz was shivering by the time the house came into view. Luz tried to act like she was fine, but Amity insisted that they pick up the pace in order to get Luz home to change into warmer clothes.

However, before they reached the door to the house, Luz squeezed Amity’s hand to stop them for a moment. When she looked back at her she could tell by the look on her face that she was hesitating for some reason, “Okay… so how are we gonna tell them? Ya know, that we kissed—“ 

“Twice,” Amity added with a giant grin on her face. 

“Yeah, twice,” Luz blushed, moving in to kiss her cheek. 

Amity giggled for a moment before she pulled herself back down to earth along with Luz, “Well, I don’t know… do you want to tell them right away? Because we can wait if—“

“No, I absolutely wanna tell them. Hell, I want the world to know that Amity Blight kissed me,” Luz smiled, “But, like, do you think they’ll be weird? They left two people who they thought were best friends on the beach and they’re coming back… ya know… different.”

Everything in her tone embodied Amity’s same hesitation earlier in the day when she was worried that telling Luz would ruin the dynamic of their relationship. She knows now that everything is okay, better than okay, but she never thought twice about how it would affect the overall dynamic of the group.

Truly, she didn’t have to. Their friends have been encouraging it to happen behind the scenes for nearly the entire time they’ve all known each other. They went as far as meddling in the situation, so she knows that they wanted this outcome(Amity wonders if they might have wanted it as much as she did).

But Luz doesn’t know that. Luz doesn’t know that the scheming has been happening behind her back since at least Halloween when Gus found out and slowly but surely everyone was aware of it. Except Luz. 

Her heart twinges at the idea of her finding out that they’ve all kept her in the dark for so long, but she chose to not hold back from the moment she kissed her. No more secrets. 

“I have to tell you something…” She paused, looking up at her after focusing on the ground for a moment. Luz tilted her head, looking alarmed at the sudden change of tone that Amity’s voice took on. 

“They know already,” Amity slowly admitted, “Well not know, but they were hoping for… this,” she motioned between the two of them. 

“Hoping? What do you mean?” Luz asked. 

“Well, I told you about how I’ve wanted to kiss you for months—”

“Eventually you’re gonna need to tell me about this whole ‘months’ thing, but anyway continue,” Luz interrupted. 

“I will, there’s a lot I want to tell you, but this first,” She inhaled before she went on, “They all know. Well I only told Gus, but apparently I was pining hard enough for everyone else to notice. Either that or Gus told everyone.”

“Oh,” Luz answered quietly, sending Amity spiraling about what she may be thinking.

“I mean, I told Gus when I was drunk during that Halloween party because Boscha insinuated she had feelings for me and then Gus read me like a book. I don’t even think I directly told him, I can’t fully remember if I’m being honest, but he realized that the reason I said I did have a crush on someone and it wasn’t her… he connected the dots so–”

“Hey,” Luz stopped her, finding her gaze so that she’d focus back in on her, “It’s okay. Like you said, we’ve got a lot to talk about. A lot of good things. I’m not upset, okay?”

Amity grounded herself with a deep breath, “Okay.”

“I just mostly feel like an idiot for not doing something about it sooner while everyone knew…”

“What? No! That’s not on you, I should have said something. I just was scared about what it would mean and if you felt the same and what would happen if you didn’t… but that’s besides the point, which is that they won’t be weird .”

“Well they might be a little weird but just not in the way I expected, I guess,” Luz chuckled. 

“Yeah, but they’re always weird,” Amity shrugged. 

Luz looked at the door for a moment, pondering on something. Amity could practically see the thoughts whirling around her head. She looked back, biting her lip as a smirk grew. 

“What if we act like nothing happened? I just wanna get them all back for not telling me,” Luz smiled, “Only for a little bit because I might explode if I don’t tell someone soon. I just wanna see how they react if we say nothing.”

“Oh?” Amity smirked, “I mean if that’s the case I am also down because I want to get them back for all the pestering and meddling.”

Luz winked before opening the door and releasing Amity’s hand. They walked in to find everyone sitting on the couch or at the kitchen counter, eager for the both of them to return to find out what happened. Luz looked back at her to give her a ‘follow my lead’ look before she stepped forward to let them know they were back. 

“Hey guys, thanks for leaving us to fend for ourselves,” Luz scowled sarcastically. 

“Why are your clothes… what happened?” Willow asked slowly.

“Oh, ya know, clumsy ole’ me fell in the water,” Luz chuckled, “So, I’m gonna go change so we can play a game or something. Or whatever else you guys have planned.”

Luz walked upstairs and the rest of the room turned their focus towards Amity. She of course ignored them, but she had to turn around to face the fridge so they couldn’t see her blush. 

“So… what happened?” Emira asked slowly.

“She tripped and fell into the water, I don’t know what you want me to say,” Amity shrugged, grabbing herself a hard seltzer from the fridge. Of all nights to celebrate, this was one. 

“Amity…” Emira pushed. 

“What? She’s fine, I mean she was already bruised from the skimboard,” Amity laughed, gathering herself a bit so her blush would die down enough to turn around to face them. It only took her eight months to figure out a way to slightly control it. 

“So you’re telling me that we left you on the beach, with all the stars, the waves, all that romantic shit you guys read about and you didn’t tell HER?!” Gus asked with his head in his hands. 

“No… I didn’t tell her,” which was a partial truth, she didn’t directly tell her. She just kissed her. Twice. 

“Amity you’ve gotta be fucking kidding me,” Hunter sighed. 

“What do you care? You didn’t even know about it until two hours ago?” Amity glowered at him. 

“Well, I mean I knew, I just wasn’t aware that’s what we were talking about,” Hunter scoffed. 

“Sure,” Amity rolled her eyes. 

“No, but he’s right, you had all the opportunity in the WORLD and you didn’t do anything?!” Ed added. 

“I don’t know what you want me to tell you,” Amity shrugged. For someone who’s bad at lying, she’s doing a great job right now. She’s hellbent on getting them back for all the shit they gave her the past few months. 

“I can’t stand you,” Gus sighed. 

Before anyone else could add their opinions in, Luz made her way downstairs. Amity didn’t hear the door shut, so she knew she was probably eavesdropping. 

Amity went to the fridge so she could grab her a Truly as well. She cracked it open for her, and they both stood at the counter overlooking everyone.

“So, what are we doing tonight?” Luz asked innocently. 

“Uhm.. well I guess we can just drink and play—” 

“No, I’m done. I can’t do this anymore,” Gus stood up, cutting off Emira, “Luz, you need to know something.” 

“Gus, I don’t think—”

“No, Willow. We are all tired of this, I just want to see these two dumbasses just be happy for once!” Gus raised his voice, on the verge of losing it.

Amity and Luz looked at each other with eyebrows raised, trying their absolute hardest not to smile. 

“Luz, Amity likes you. And she has since.. well I found out at the Halloween party, but for a while!” 

Luz looked at her for a moment to assure her that she was going along with it before she spoke, “So you’re telling me that Amity likes me? I’d sure hope so, considering we live together.”

The group was silent, waiting for more of a response from her. Amity was fighting to keep her expression blank, but it was starting to get hard. 

“No, I mean she has feelings for you, like wants to be with you?” Gus went on. 

Luz tightened her eyes at him quizzically, “What, like wants to kiss me? Surely that’s not what you mean, Gus.”

“That’s exactly what I mean!” He exclaimed desperately. 

“Oh! That’s why you kissed me on the beach… that makes a lot more sense!” Luz exclaimed, the sarcastic edge in her voice was borderline aggressive… It was hilarious to Amity. 

“Wait, what?” Emira asked slowly, the whole group blinking wide-eyed at them. 

“Oh yeah, I guess that did happen… maybe I should have mentioned that, ” Amity tapped her finger to her chin. 

“Yeah… but thank you, Gus. For clarifying, I can be so oblivious apparently,” Luz smirked, wrapping an arm around Amity’s waist.

The group was still starstruck, staring at the two of them. Their mouths were ajar, and no one could get a word out, least of all Gus. The look on their faces made the joke all worthwhile. Luz and Amity exchanged a look, expecting more of a reaction by now. 

“What, so you guys get to conspire for months without me knowing but now you have nothing to say?” Luz finally broke the silence, “I mean I can kiss her right now if that’s what you all need to—”

“OH MY GOD!” Viney finally squealed, getting up to hug the both of them. 

Soon after, the rest of the group reacted with the same disbelief and ran over to join the hug. Gus, however, still stood in the middle of the living room in awe. Amity made her way over to him as the hug dispersed.

“I can’t believe you’d just tell her like that!” She lightly shoved him. 

“Well I can’t believe you actually kissed her?!”

“Twice, by the way,” Luz walked up behind Amity. 

“Ehh, but who’s counting?” Amity smiled. She was. She was definitely counting. It would become a way to tell time for her if the universe allowed it. 

“So, I guess I deserve a ‘thank you’ for all the meddling, huh?” Gus smirked, crossing his arms. 

“I am absolutely going to get you back for that by the way,” Luz pointed her finger at him. 

“Whatever, I’m just happy I don’t have to keep it in anymore, that was stressful for me,” Gus put his hands up in defense. He walked away to join the group who were all pouring drinks for themselves as if they had just won the lottery. 

Luz pulled Amity in by her waist, resting her cheek on hers while looking at them all, “They almost seem as excited as we are… Almost.”

Amity wanted to kiss her again right there and then, however the idea of having an audience within the same hour they had had their first one seemed like it was taking away something that was just for them. 

She had the feeling that Luz felt the same way when she nuzzled into her more. They had held each other before but it felt closer than ever now. She could almost cry at the relief she felt from it all. 

The group decides to play a random assortment of games throughout the night, Cards Against Humanity, Jackbox, and they ended with the same game they always circled back to. 

Amity couldn’t care less about the fact that she wasn’t getting anywhere near first place. Even Luz, who normally gives Ed a run for his money, wasn’t far in front of her. Everyone else, however, was taking it very seriously. 

A weight had been taken off of their shoulders too, and they each would send glances to Amity and Luz with a sincere smile that everything worked out. Eventually Amity gave up at even playing, she just wanted to be close to Luz tonight so she sat in between her legs as Luz played. Luz took moments to kiss the top of her head when no one was looking, and was barely paying attention to the game herself. 

Everyone had enough to drink that they were giggling, more clumsy than usual, and at one point Ed and Gus decided to go onto the deck and start scream-singing. That was when they realized it might be time to stop drinking and start heading off the bed. 

“Goodnight cuties,” Emira winked as she had to lead Viney to the right room while she was overly tired and drunk, wrapped tightly in a blanket. 

Willow and Hunter decided they had to work as a team to drag Ed and Gus off the deck while they were in the middle of a glass shattering rendition of “I Dreamed A Dream” from Les Misérables. 

Once they had both gotten the boys into the right rooms, Willow came back out to get Gus a glass of water. Before she went back, she came over and sat next to them. 

“I’m really happy you two finally are together,” Willow smiled. 

“I think we are too, but I can’t be too sure,” Luz joked. 

“Yeah, I guess it’s cool,” Amity shrugged. Luz squeezed her a little with her arms wrapped around her shoulders. 

Amity turned around to Willow and narrowed her eyes, “What about you? You and Hunter seem to get along well..” 

A blush instantly rose on Willow’s cheeks as she scoffed, “Me? And Hunter? I-I don’t know what you’re talking about… I should get back to make sure Gus is okay. Goodnight lovebirds!”

She scurried off before she looked either of them in the eyes again. Luz and Amity giggled as she closed the door, “So, are we gonna do something about that or just let it pan out?” 

“I say we see what happens and meddle if it goes on for too long, like how they did with us?” Amity answered. 

“Good point,” Luz chuckled. 

They ended up on their balcony to listen to the waves with a blanket wrapped around them. She had to keep reminding herself that this wasn’t a dream, that they really did kiss, that Luz felt the same, that everything was falling into place. 

A comfortable silence fell upon them, neither of them stirring from their positions despite the heat lightning stirring in the distance. Amity’s back was leaning against Luz’s chest, and it felt incredibly peaceful. She didn’t have to fight the butterflies anymore, and she knew for sure now that it wasn’t just Luz being ‘touchy with her friends’. 

This was reserved for them and them only. And she wanted nothing more than to soak that in. 

With Luz’s arms wrapped around her, her cheek laid on top of her head, the sound of her breathing mixed with the waves crashing on the shore, she knew now more than ever that Luz was her home. She had spent so long feeling lost, having her future decided for her, not knowing what family and love truly felt like. Then she came to college and it all fell into place, and Luz was the catalyst of it all. 

“Hey,” Luz whispered, looking down at her, “You’re pretty, you know that?”

Amity hid her face in her hands before she muffled, “I feel like you are just trying to make me blush now.”

Luz softly grabbed her wrists and moved them away from her face, “Bug, that’s the point. I love making you blush.”

“Well it’s not hard,” Amity laughed, hiding her face in Luz’s shoulder. It was partially to conceal her blush but also a ploy to be closer to her. 

“And I’ll take every opportunity to make it happen,” Luz said, wrapping her arms around her tighter, “I can’t believe I didn’t realize it sooner, though.”

“I can’t believe I didn’t kiss you sooner,” Amity laughed, pulling away to be able to look at her. “I thought you said you ‘ noticed’ every time I blushed because of you?”

“I did notice! But I just thought you were an easily flustered person, but I still got butterflies knowing that I was the reason you were flustered,” Luz explained, “So when did you first wanna kiss me?” 

“Well I knew for a fact I had feelings for you on Halloween,” Amity thought back to when all she wanted was to show Luz her costume, and even when she got to the party all she could think about was her. 

“Damn, that long?” Luz chuckled. 

“Well when did you first wanna kiss me?”

“Well I have had feelings for you since the moment I met you, but I just thought that you and Boscha were a thing so I ignored it,” Luz shrugged. 

“Okay, well I definitely had a crush on you too when I met you, but I didn’t know anything about you so I thought it was just something that would pass. I remember every time I went into that dorm before I lived there I would hope I ran into you again,” Amity blushed. 

“Or more like hope that I ran into you, just without a slushie in your hand, ” Luz laughed. 

“Yeah, yeah,” Amity jokingly rolled her eyes, “And when you found out I wasn’t dating Boscha?”

“Oh, I was crushing hard ,” Luz said seriously, “I remember you coming back from that Halloween party and I thought you knew immediately because you had me blushing that whole night.”

“I THOUGHT YOU WERE!” Amity exclaimed.

“Could you blame me? You literally were wearing angel wings and were just opening up to me all night, and then you wore my shirt to bed and I just… I couldn’t stop thinking about it for weeks.”

“So.. when did you wanna kiss me?” Amity prodded. 

“Definitely when you gave me that book on Christmas, I have no idea how I stopped myself. I also almost kissed you backstage during Alice, but I also stopped myself then.”

“Why didn’t you?” Amity asked hesitantly.

“Well, ya know, I had feelings for a best friend before and it didn’t go well. And you and I were so much closer than Clara and I ever were, and we had only known each other for a fraction of the time she and I did. I didn’t wanna ruin it. And..” She trailed off, turning her gaze away from Amity.

“What?” Amity asked, concerned. 

“I always thought that maybe, just maybe, you liked me too. But the fact that you also hadn’t done anything started eating at me. And I didn’t want to make the first move with my history. So when you hadn’t, I thought that you just didn’t want to.. Didn’t want me . So, when she came back into the picture I threw myself into that mess again because I just wanted something to work out…”

“Luz…” Amity frowned, pulling Luz’s wandering gaze back onto her, “I’m so sorry I made you feel like that. I almost told you on Christmas too.. I was terrified of making you go through a broken friendship again. I should have–”

“No, no more ‘should-have’s. It doesn’t matter,” Luz softened her gaze, “It worked out, even if it took longer. Now we’re here, and that’s what matters.”

“But–” before Amity could finish, tell Luz about how she would have done anything to save her from being hurt again, that there is no excuse for not telling her other than her own pathetic fear paralyzing her, Luz gently cupped her face and kissed her again. 

Three. She was never going to get used to this. 

When they pulled away, Amity kept her eyes closed as if to memorize the moment before it was over. Once they opened again, she found Luz still looking at her lips with an affectionate smile on hers. Amity smiled back at her and Luz’s eyes met hers.

“ Please always shut me up like that,” Amity repeated Luz’s words from the beach.

“Always.”

They spent a good portion of the night on the balcony, blushing and smiling, taking it all in. Talking about everything and nothing, like they always had. But with a glimpse of more. The moment was theirs and only theirs, no prying eyes, knowing looks, meddling friends. Just the waves and them. 

____________________________

Amity had planned a lot for this spring break, but she absolutely didn’t plan on kissing Luz. It made everything more exciting, even playing minigolf the next day. They had driven the two hours to Destin from where they were staying so they could have something to do all day, and that included the random attractions that were entirely overpriced. 

Before minigolf, they had gotten lunch at the nearest McDonald’s so they were able to afford a nicer dinner later, and they even scoured around the nearest thrift stores in the area to see if they could find anything worth buying. It was cheaper than any actual souvenirs that were sold at ‘Surf & Turf’ stores that sat at the corner of each block. 

However, the only thing they could find were a few picture frames that spanned from looking like they were hand-decorated with seashells to having neon silicone on the border with ‘Destin Trip, 2011’ written in Comic Sans. They did, in fact, go home with a variety of frames somewhere on that scale, prepared for when they got home and developed the disposable camera films. 

The sun was starting to set as they were at their last hole of minigolf, and regardless of the fact that Amity had been dead-last(scoring at least 3 points more for every single par), she couldn’t stop smiling. Luz was unsurprisingly great at it, and Amity was thankful that their group was too large to be one team and Ed was on the other side of the course with Hunter, Emira, and Viney. Otherwise, Luz and Ed would be fighting for first place. 

“How come you are annoyingly good at everything you do?” Gus huffed after Luz got a hole-in-one for the seventh time in the span of eighteen holes. 

“It’s a Noceda thing,” Luz shrugs, her lips turning at the corners when she glances behind her to Amity, “It also helps that I have a good-luck-charm with me.”

Amity desperately tries to roll her eyes at the cheesiness of the comment, but can’t stop a grin from surfacing. Gus just huffs once more as he moves to take his turn. He’s still under par, but just not as low as Luz, which everyone can tell frustrates him. Willow was just at par and she truly couldn’t be bothered to care about it, followed by Amity who’s score is close to that of a toddler. 

The other group is already waiting for them when they finish, and they all head out to the cars together after they drop off their golf balls and putters. The next stop was the last one, the Harborwalk Village. In Amity fashion, she made a reservation for them at Margaritaville earlier in the day.

Hunter gave her a hard time for getting one since it was only a Tuesday night, so they all assumed the marina wouldn’t be too hectic. However, once they arrived they were proven wrong by the hoards of other college kids also on their spring break. Amity couldn’t help but cross her arms at him with a look that screams ‘I told you so’.

They had all been starving throughout the day, so dinner was something they were all looking forward to. Some more than others considering Ed and Viney got a pitcher of margaritas to split, and by the time they were handed the bill they were both already out the door and rushing to the next exciting thing. 

“Well, at least I don’t have to worry about my girlfriend and my brother getting along,” Emira sighed as they all got up to leave. 

“Now I have to drive one of the cars back,” Hunter added. 

Amity giggled as they caught up to Viney and Ed who were in line to zipline across Harborwalk, and Emira had her head in her hands. It probably wasn’t the best idea to let them do it, but the damage it would do to them was isolated to their bank accounts. 

They stayed and watched from the ground, and listened to them yell as they glided across. Once they were across and safely on the opposite platform, Amity pulled Luz down towards the strip of shops. She was familiar with it because anytime the Blight family went on a vacation down here, they always came to the Harborwalk Village.

The last time she was here she was fourteen, and her parents were busy negotiating a spot to rent at the marina for the boat they were apparently going to buy. However, it meant that her and the twins got to wander around the countless shops. That same day she met a girl, Elena, who was around her same age. 

She was also with her older brother, and he had gotten along with Ed and Emira. Amity was never really good at making friends on a whim, but that day and that girl were a different story. Somewhere along the way they both lost their siblings as they went in and out of every store. They took turns holding and taking a picture with the macaw outside of Margaritaville, they played all the carnivalesque games they could find, laughed at drunk people butchering songs in the name of karaoke. Before they found their families, they bought small braided matching bracelets, and Amity didn’t take it off until it broke a few years later.

After a year of thinking about her, wondering if she cherished the memory as much as Amity did, about how pretty she looked when the sun was just about to set, if she got butterflies when they held hands throughout the village, she finally realized that Elena was her first crush.  In that moment, all the times she felt like something was wrong with her for not being boy crazy like her friends finally made sense.

“What’re you thinking about, Bug?” Luz asked softly, bringing Amity back into the current moment. 

“I–” Amity had to stop herself from tearing up while she looked at Luz and their entwined hands, “I’m just really happy to be here. With you.”

There was a small crease between Luz’s eyebrows as a small smile found her lips, “I’m happy to be here with you too, Amity.”

A lot about Amity’s life has changed since she was fourteen, but all of it led her to the place she is now, to the people she’s with now. To Luz. And she couldn’t be more grateful for all of it, right down to the broken bracelet that sits in her memory box back home. 

____________________________

That night, Amity planned to surprise Luz with her cake. Emira and Viney had picked up a bottle of prosecco on the way home, and Gus and Willow were distracting her while Amity got it all ready. 

She had just started to light the candles, she could hear Luz's voice from the balcony following Gus and Willow back inside, “And I’m sure you did see dolphins out there, Gus. But I’m not seeing shit, so–”

She was cut off by them all yelling “Happy Birthday!!” as she halted by the table once the kitchen had some into view. 

“But my birthday–” Luz started.

“Yeah, but I think you deserve a real celebration,” Amity smiled.

“And a redo after– OW!” Willow had elbowed Gus in the ribs to cut him off. 

“I… Thank you guys…” Luz smiled, tears welling in her eyes. 

“Don’t you dare start crying,” Hunter stated, a small smile forming on his lips as well(they were starting to have the same relationship dynamic that Amity and him have… she can’t tell if she loved it or hated it). 

Amity knew Luz would hate it if they sang to her, so they refrained as she blew out her candles. Luz came over to Amity immediately after to pick her up into a bone-crushing hug as they all cheered and clapped. Once she sat her back down, Viney made her way over with the prosecco in her hands.

“If you would do the honors,” Viney handed the bottle to Luz to pop, “But out on the balcony, I really don’t wanna clean up more than we are already gonna have to.”

The cork had gone somewhere over the railing, and Amity made a mental note to find it when there was daylight so they could keep it as a memento. The rest of the night was spent eating cake and drinking the sparkling wine and taking advantage of the lit up private pool on the property.

It was a great day all-in-all for everyone, but especially for Amity. She was starting to realize that seeing Luz happy made all of her anxieties disappear in an instant. And that much was made clear when Luz swam up to her as the rest of the group played chicken nearby.

“If you’re coming to ask me to get up on your shoulders and join the game, the answer is no. I’ve played that game enough to know there’s no way I’m beating Ed and I’d much rather protect my peace right now,” Amity laughed. 

“Actually, I was coming to do this,” She then took the disposable camera from behind her back to snap anotehr picture of Amity. She rolled her eyes and took it from her hands to put on the ground by the pool… She trusted Luz with a lot, but a roll of film near water may not be one of those things. 

“ And I wanted to thank you for today. Well, for this trip, for the cake, the planning, the kiss… especially for that kiss, honestly,” Luz smiled, pulling her into a hug and kissing her on the cheek. 

“Yeah?” 

“If you hadn’t kissed me, then we wouldn’t be here because I I don’t think I would have been brave enough to finally tell you how I feel otherwise, so yeah .”

“I still don’t think braveness had anything to do with it,” Amity chuckled.

“What do you mean?” 

“I mean that if I was brave enough, I would have told you forever ago. I think my mind just finally took over and said ‘fuck it’.”

“Well then, tell the ‘fuck it’ part of your brain I said thank you ,” Luz added, “You seem more like yourself than you have in a while, Bug.”

“That’s because I finally have nothing to hide,” Amity shrugged. 

“And you never will from here on out, okay?” 

“Okay,” Amity smiled, leaning in to kiss her. Four. 

Luz pulled away, smiling maniacally, and bit her lip as she looked at Amity. 

“...what?”

“Are you sure you don’t wanna play chicken, I think you could really take him down–”

She was cut off by Amity rolling her eyes and splashing her.

____________________________

The night before the end of the trip, the older half of the group decided they were going out to bars closer to the city, but of course they needed a designated driver which led to their current situation. The four of them were crammed in the backseat as Luz drove them, Amity riding shotgun. If they wanted a DD, they were gonna have to deal with being crammed, and Amity didn’t want Luz to have to drive back alone. 

Once they were out of the car and Luz started the drive back, Amity decided to look at her phone with her free hand (the other one was holding Luz’s which she was entirely calm about). The first thing she noticed was a few notifications for emails to her school account. 

“Whatcha doing, bug?” Luz asked, glancing over at her. 

“...Checking my email…” Amity sheepishly admitted. 

“Amity, this is a vacation ,” Luz chuckled. 

“I know, I know. I’ll be quick I swear!” 

The app finally loaded, and most of them were just junk mail, reminding her to register for fall classes, an email from Lilith letting her know her midterm grades were looking good and there was no reason for a mid-semester check in that advisors usually had, one reminding her about changing her school password, etc. 

But one caught her eye since it was marked as important, so she clicked on it immediately: 

To: [email protected]

From: [email protected]

Subject: RA Application Status

Hello, Amity! We hope spring break is treating you well, and that your semester has been going smoothly! We wanted to reach out to you about your RA application status so you are able to plan your housing for the fall. 

We loved talking to you at your interview, and Viney had some amazing things to say about you as well. Your academic transcript and campus involvement is also impressive, and we believe that you would be a great addition to the team! 

Welcome to the 2023-24 housing staff! If you accept, we will be reaching out with more info about preparing for the fall, but until then, enjoy your spring break! 

Amity’s jaw dropped, she had not only forgotten about the interview she did prior to spring break, but she had forgotten she even applied. 

“What? Is everything okay?” Luz asked, concerned by the look on Amity’s face. 

“I’m–” Amity started, still starstruck by the news, “I got the job.. I’m gonna be an RA.”

“What? I forgot you even–”

“Me too…”

“But Amity! That’s amazing!! Do you know what building you’re assigned to? I gotta make sure we all apply to live there.”

“No, they said they’ll be reaching out to let me know if I accept the position.”

“I’m assuming you’re accepting?” Luz smiled.

Amity nodded, dropping Luz’s hand briefly to draft a reply thanking them for the offer and accepting it. 

“Amity!! I’m so proud of you!!!” Luz exclaimed, grabbing Amity’s thigh and shaking it for emphasis.

“It’s really not that big of a deal,” Amity blushed, finally putting her phone down after the email was sent, “So many people get to be RA’s, it’s probably harder to not get an offer–”

“Don’t undersell yourself, you are about to be the best one they’ve ever seen! They’ll have no idea what hit them.” 

“Don’t say that to Viney,” Amity laughed. 

“Okay, so you’ll have to live up to Viney, but you’ll still be absolutely amazing, Bug. This calls for a celebration!” 

Before Amity could even question what she meant by that, Luz had taken a last minute right turn into a gas station, and she quickly caught on to what she meant when she saw the familiar orange, red, and green hues of the LED sign. 

Luz parked the car and ran to the other side to open the door for Amity before she could even unbuckle herself. “Slow down,” She chuckled. 

“No, I’ve been fiending for a slushie since we got here, come on!”

Luz pulled her inside and made a beeline for the machine, “And whattaya know, the blue raspberry is the only flavor you can get right now. It’s a sign!”

Amity followed her gaze to the red lights above every flavor except their signature favorite. Luz had already started to grab the largest size cups to fill up and Amity grabbed the straws behind her, “I’m gonna grab some snacks for us and Willow and Gus when we get back. We’re running low.”

They met at the cashier, Luz grabbing the snacks and paying for all of them as a “gift”, and all within two minutes they were back in the car with the snacks abandoned in the back seat as they sat. 

Luz held out the cup to Amity’s as if it was a toast, “Here’s to getting the position, to next year being already amazing, to the beach, to you, Bug.”

Amity smiled and sipped at that. It tasted as it always did, sweet and cathartic. She couldn’t stop smiling as Luz drove them back. Things were already starting to look up before they decided to come to the beach. She had been pushing herself out of her comfort zone for the past few months, and this position was proof of that. 

Truthfully, it was so much more than the job offer they were celebrating. They had talked all night about the feelings that they shared for one another, and how the idea of the other actually sharing them is a dream come true. That part they had celebrated(although, Amity was sure she’d spend the rest of her life celebrating that), but the one thing that hadn’t talked about was what would be happening next year in light of it all. 

Now, the future was decided for them, and it was all working out in their favor. 

____________________________

Waiting for the over-21-year-olds to be finished with their night proved to be the perfect time for Amity and Luz to finish the The Shadow of Kyoshi. Luz read parts of it aloud to her while Amity laid her head in her lap, but for the most part they sat in comfortable silence in the living room together while Gus memorized a shakespeare monologue(for a grade) on the balcony and Willow studied for an Org Chem test in her room. 

By the time that Luz was summoned to her duty of designated driver, everyone was ready to switch gears into something else for the night. So once Luz was home with the lot and they decided to sleep, the rest of them decided it was time for a jacuzzi night after all. 

They brought the last bottle of wine they had into Amity and Luz’s bathroom, filled up the tub, and threw in a few bath bombs that they had bought while they were down by the marina in a local soap shop. 

By the time the tub was filled up and the room smelled like a fruit-roll-up, they had all already finished one glass of wine and were working on a second one. They had had their feet in the tub from the moment the water was turned on in order to curve the chills they were getting from being in still-damp-swimsuits from the previous days. 

“I am exhausted at the thought of going back to classes on Monday,” Gus groaned. 

“At least you don’t have an exam the minute you get back,” Willow piled on. 

“Just think of it this way: We are now more than halfway through the semester and then it’ll be summer break which is even longer!” Luz tried to cheer them up.

“And then we will all be living together next year, or at least in the same hallway so it’ll be even better,” Amity added. 

There was a short period before Gus spoke up again, “Are you guys going to tell everyone when you get back? That you’re together?”

Amity and Luz looked to each other to ask the same question, “Well, I mean like I told Amity, I would scream it from the mountaintops, but–”

“But I really don’t think there’s many people to tell? The only people we’d really tell are you guys… maybe a few others that live in the hallway, but that’s really… it.” Amity added.

“We really don’t have many other friends, do we?” Willow chuckled. 

“Speak for yourself, I have an entire theatre department of friends,” Gus huffed. 

“Isn’t there constant drama? That’s what Ed says, Boscha too–” Amity laughed.

“ Besides that. Also we all have our random in-class-friendships… we’re pretty sociable people!” Gus defended.

Amity scoffed at that. Sure, they make friends and talk to anyone, but that didn’t always equate to ‘sociable’. Amity especially wanted to laugh at the idea of herself being a people-person. Luz, however? Luz was liked by everyone she met, and always found a way to connect with even a stranger. She’s the type of person to have an inside joke with someone she met in line at a coffee shop within five minutes. 

That was something Amity will always cherish about her, even slightly envy. She is liked by everyone, she’s sure that people have even had a crush on her before. Somehow, that didn’t even make her jealous, instead it made her heart flutter. 

Because everyone adores Luz , but Luz only adores Amity. 

And that was something she’d always brag about. 

____________________________

The last day of the trip, Luz and Viney made an enemy of a few of their friends when they decided to wake everyone up in time to get down to the beach and watch the sunrise. At first, Amity was also not amused until Luz let her wear her sweatshirt for it and suddenly she was completely fine running on five hours of sleep(truthfully, she had done worse). On the way down to the shore, Amity finds the cork from Luz’s ‘birthday’ and sneaks it into her pocket. 

They were all sitting in a line parallel to the horizon as they watched the dark blue lighten along it, the sun still hiding just below. Gus had finally stopped complaining about being woken up, and Amity wasn’t sure whether or not it was because he had made peace with it or because he had fallen asleep again. 

Either way, the only noise was the waves hitting the shore just a few feet in front of them, and it was mesmerizing. She half wished that the sound of waves crashing actually did get trapped in conch shells because nothing had ever made her feel more at peace than that. 

They stayed silent as the sun came above the horizon, and after they eventually had to look away in order to save their eyes, Luz pulled the disposable camera out to snatch a picture of the whole group(Amity could have sworn she had taken that away from her). Viney stood up after, clapping her hands together. 

“Alright. We have a flight in six hours, the drive to the airport is two hours and we should get the the airport about two hours early… So that means we have two hours to clean, pack, and find somewhere to eat breakfast,” She said. 

“That’s what I was gonna say!” Amity gasped, as if she had read her mind. 

“Between the two of you, I’m never going to be late to anything ever again,” Emira laughed as she stood up and dusted the sand off of her. 

“Trust me, you’ll find a way,” Viney laughed, taking her hand and pulling her back towards the house.

They all collectively started getting up, but as Amity tried to, Luz tugged on her hand that she was already holding to silently ask her to stay sitting. Amity looked at her quizzically and Luz answered by putting her head on her shoulder.

Amity smiled, “Everything alright, Bee?” 

“More than… I just don’t want it to end though, you know?” Luz whispered. 

“Yeah… I know.”

Amity settled into the moment by resting her head on Luz’s and holding her hand tighter. She wanted nothing more than to be content and calm in this moment, but her mind had other plans. 

She tried to fight off the idea that maybe when this moment ends, so does everything else. Maybe Luz will regret it when they get home, maybe everything will change once they step back into their dorm. They live together already, they basically share a wardrobe, they work the same job, they have some of the same classes, the same advisor, the same friends. Amity had basically become an adopted Clawthorne, and maybe that’s a line she shouldn’t have crossed. This stupid line… She thought she was done thinking about that line. 

Her biggest concern was whether or not they were actually going to make it. If they were going to leave this bubble they’re in, at a beach house with barely any cell reception and such little light pollution you can see the milky way, will it still be okay? Is everything going to change when they get home, their entire routine, and would they survive if it did? 

This is where they started… and she’s terrified that it’s the only place they can actually be.  

Amity could feel her heart rate rise and her breathing started to feel labored, but before she could speak up to tell Luz and of her worries, Luz nudged her.

She was looking, wide-eyed, at something to the left of them, and Amity followed her glance to the source. From the same place that they discovered a few nights before, dozens of baby sea turtles were making their way to the shore line. 

“They were just little eggs a week ago… do you think they’ll all make it?” Luz whispered.

She took a moment to look at them, pushing themselves further and further in the sand to get to the water, their only goal being to make it. Whether or not they were going to was based on how hard they tried now. 

And maybe all it took was trying. 

“I think they will,” Amity answered, barely above a whisper, "They've come this far..."