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Steve sat down heavily beside Eddie and wrangled his pack of cigarettes out of his pocket with mild difficulty, wishing silently that his hands weren’t so damn cold. Eddie was already puffing away on a joint he’d been rolling when Steve pulled up. He could feel how warm Eddie was even through all the denim he was wearing, and he tried not to think about too much. He’d been paying a lot of special attention to him ever since they’d become sort-of-friends, just like he used to do with Jonathan.
Eddie handed him the lighter wordlessly, which was actually a little odd. By now the guy was usually talking his ear off about that nerd game or bitching about the kids, but tonight he just quietly staring out towards the tree line between hits. Steve took a slow first drag of his cigarette and breathed out, watching as the smoke lifted and curled away in the evening air. Usually he wouldn’t go for nicotine right away- not when Robin and Eddie preferred weed- but tonight was just one of those nights. Evidently, Eddie understood.
“You alright, man?” Steve asked a few minutes later, flicking some ash off of his cig. “You’re like all… quiet and brooding right now.”
“I’ve just been thinking.” Eddie confessed, tilting his head away. He ran his hand over his rings and started to spin a few around, fingers busy with anxious energy. Steve wondered why Eddie was still so nervous around him, especially after all they’d gone through lately. They barely knew one another, sure, but Steve held a heavy amount of respect for anyone who could escape the Upside Down alive, much less dive in towards it. From the way that Eddie had been talking, Steve believed he felt the same too.
“You’ve been thinking?” Steve said with a small laugh. “There’s your problem, man.”
Eddie laughed dryly with him, shaking his head. A moment of silence lapsed as they both took another hit of their respective vices, and Eddie cleared his throat. “You know, to be honest, I’ve been thinking about you and Nancy.”
Steve couldn’t help his eyeroll. “That’s a waste of time and you know it. Whatever we had, whatever was there… it’s gone now. I know she cares about me, now I mean, but what she and Jonathan have is real.” He said shortly.
“You can’t really believe that, can you? Look, I don’t know Jonathan outside all the rumors and stuff, but it seems like they’re going through a rough patch anyway. Now’s the time to strike is all I’m saying. Aren’t you like, Hawkin’s Biggest Heartthrob or something?” Eddie asked, and Steve felt something old and petulant crawl up his throat.
“I can’t believe this.” He said, annoyed, putting out his cigarette on the concrete stairs they were perched on. “I know you guys mean well, but now it’s really starting to get on my nerves. Me and Nancy had our chance, and yeah, I won’t lie and say I haven’t thought about it. I love Nancy, and I will always probably love Nancy because that’s just how I am, I guess. Jonathan’s a good guy though, and he’s always been able to get her in ways I just don’t. Get this through your thick skull, okay? They’re in love with each other, not whatever weird mutual old flame thing me and Nance have got going.”
Eddie blinked at him. “Jesus, dude.”
Steve leaned back and rubbed his face tiredly. “I’m sorry man, I’m just tired of explaining myself. I would kill to have Nance back, but that won’t change the fact that we just don’t… get one another.” He breathed. “Didn’t mean to bite your head off.”
“Nah man, I get it, I get it.” He replied, raising his hands up slowly. “Actually, maybe I don’t, but I won’t keep prying.”
Another moment lapsed, and Steve considered smoking another cigarette. He decided against it- Robin would kill him if she found out, of course- so instead he chose to wait for Eddie. Steve gave him a long look. “Well? What about you?”
“Me?” Eddie asked, taking the last hit of his joint. “I ain’t got nobody, man.”
“There’s no way.” Steve said suddenly, crossing his arms and pulling his jacket together more to conserve warmth. “A guy like you? I would’ve though you’d be beating babes back with a stick.”
“Well, thank you very much for that, but I’m actually… I haven’t had a lot of luck.” He said carefully, placing the remains of his joint into his ratty bag.
“Tell me about it. I don’t know what happened, but it just seems like all the decent babes in this town have straight up disappeared.” Steve whined. “I mean, how many girls do I have to date before things work out, right? You’d think with a job, a car, and decent hygiene regiment, girls would be a little more interested. I know at least half the guys in this arm pit of a town don’t have even half of those things.”
Eddie laughed. “You really do care about this stuff, wow. Robin wasn’t lying.” He said with a snort. “Before you start, like, ranting for real though, I guarantee it’s not the girls that are giving me a hard time.”
Steve paused his impending rant. “Then what is?” he asked without thinking.
Eddie considered him for a minute before turning to look back out at the tree line. He returned to spinning his rings absentmindedly, and his leg even started to shake with unsaid nerves. Steve waited patiently- as patiently as he could, at least- and wished that Robin could be there to help his usually pretty bad read of the situation. He’d been here many times though, in this exact position, and almost every time it was because he couldn’t stop talking about his girl problems.
“Have you ever kissed a guy, Harrington?” Eddie asked then, voice quiet. “I mean, I haven’t, but I can’t stop wanting to, you know?”
Steve felt like he should have seen this coming. He turned to Eddie then, but Eddie was firmly looking past him. He was spinning his rings with even more speed then, leg really going now. It felt like Robin all over again, but this time the secret was even bigger and scarier. With Robin, he understood that he was being shut down, and for good reason. He didn’t understand then like he did now, but he could get that Robin liking women was a taboo in their town and that telling him was more about trust that anything.
Eddie telling him that he wanted to kiss men wasn’t something Steve could’ve predicted- not with all the stereotypes his father instilled in him, anyways- but he supposed he understood. For a long time, in the darkest parts of his being, he knew that he’d wanted to kiss Jonathan. He didn’t understand what that meant, and with girls so pretty and kissable on their own, he never had to struggle much. He’d never told Robin because he’d barely even told himself. He understood Nancy in more ways than just being an ex, and when it came to it, he knew that he’d never really be able to explain that to someone.
Until now.
“I’ve always wanted to kiss Jonathan.” He responded, looking away. “I’ve never kissed a guy though, you know, for real. Only dares and other stupid shit, but not like. Not like that.”
Evidently, that had been the last thing Eddie had been expecting him to say. “You’re serious.”
Steve nodded. “I haven’t tried, though. When Nancy and Jonathan got together, I figured it would just sort of… go away, but it hasn’t. In fact, I think it got worse.” He explained. “Listen, Eddie. If you want to kiss men, then I still stand by what I said earlier. You’ve got it all, and guys are out of their minds if they aren’t seeing it.”
Eddie turned to him then, face a noticeable pink color. Steve had never seen Eddie so flustered before, and frankly, he didn’t think a guy like him could get embarrassed. Eddie gaped for a moment before he turned away again, hands folding into twin fists.
“Wow. Every time I think one thing about you, you do another.” He said slowly. “Robin told me you’d be cool about it, but I didn’t actually believe her. Not when you’re like, well, no offense or anything but- when you’re you. I guess I just need to stop making assumptions, huh?”
Steve shrugged to himself. It wasn’t a lie to say it sucked that people always thought the worst about him, but he understood to some degree. “I get it, man. No worries.” He mumbled, really considering that second cigarette now.
“Steve?” Eddie said suddenly. “Would you… God, this sounds so stupid, fuck. Can I- can I try kissing you? Just to know… like… if I really want this? Jesus, I sound like a thirteen-year-old girl.”
Steve whipped around to face Eddie again, properly this time. “What?” he asked, feeling out of his depth, which is crazy considering that this was his depth normally. “Listen, if this is a convoluted way to tell me you’re into me or something, then you can just say that- “
“No, no man, I just- It’s not like that, okay? I don’t… I’m not into you.” Eddie said quickly, looking like he’d rather be anywhere else. “I’m just- you want some Jonathan action, but you’ve never kissed a guy and aren’t sure about it, and- and I’ve never kissed a guy, but I think about doing it all the time. We kiss and we figure out if we even like kissing guys, simple as that. Or, better yet, we both forget I said anything and move on.”
Steve blinked at him, and Eddie fidgeted under his gaze. He supposed that Eddie did have a point, even if Steve was pretty simple when it came to the physical stuff. He’d always just assumed he’d be into it because there wasn’t much he wasn’t into, but how could he know without a college try?
“No, you’re right.” Steve agreed. He shifted closer to Eddie, but he looked too shocked to register it.
“I am?” Eddie said then, incredulous. “Wait, fuck, we’re really doing this?’
“You’ve kissed people before, right? It’ll be just like that, but like, I’m a guy.” Steve said, hoping he didn’t sound as bad as he thought it did. By Eddie’s expression, he guessed it sounded worse. “I promise I am a good kisser. You think those girls just like me for my hair?”
“Yeah, yeah, right.” Eddie said, nodding. He swallowed loudly, and Steve wondered how his high was doing now with all of these nerves. He closed his eyes like he was wincing to get hit, and Steve couldn’t help the laugh that bubbled up.
“Hey, listen, I think this is weird too, but it won’t be bad, I promise. Just, ease into you know.” Steve said, scooting closer. Their thighs were touching now, and that warmth from before was even more present. If Steve pretended Eddie was a girl it would defeat the point entirely, so he focused on the other stuff instead. His warmth, the smell of weed in the air, the way his lips looked actually pretty soft considering how much he chewed on them. Eddie looked like he was going to bolt.
Steve leaned in and paused just a few centimeters from Eddie, giving him all the time he needed to back out. Steve might not be a wiz with guys, but he knew that an unwilling partner was always a bad time regardless of gender. Eddie must’ve bucked himself up though, because he closed the gap and pressed his cold lips against Steve’s not even a second after he’d leaned in. Steve tilted so that their noses weren’t mashed up against one another and even pressed his hand into Eddie’s denim-clad shoulder. It was a standard kiss by all means. Eddie’s mouth was pinched closed, and he was clearly less experienced, but Steve liked it. He liked the masculine feeling of Eddie’s shoulder and the way he smelled.
He pulled back after a moment and gave him a look. Nancy used to call it his puppy eyes, because quite simply, they always got him what he wanted. Eddie wasn’t immune it seemed. He came back with even more fervor, wrapping his ringed hand around the back of his neck and pulling Steve in. The kiss started close-mouthed, but Steve ran his tongue along Eddie’s bottom lip and that was all it took for him to open up. Steve breathed out as Eddie pressed himself in closer, and suddenly the air didn’t seem so cold anymore.
Steve wondered idly as he felt himself move on autopilot, nipping along the side of Eddie’s jaw and smiling at the sounds he was making, what Jonathan would sound like. Eddie’s voice was lower, and his hands were wider, and Steve hissed out when his fingers pulled at his hair. Eddie was practically in Steve’s lap now, coming back for kiss after kiss, and Steve felt like he was on fire. Jonathan would probably be less pliant, that was for sure, but he could barely think with Eddie biting at his throat like that.
“Maybe- maybe we could ah- move this to my car?” Steve asked breathlessly. Eddie pulled away from the hickey he was leaving, mouth glistening in the dim evening light.
“Yeah, let’s do that.” He huffed, and Steve found himself smiling.