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Rinne was in a lounge area in Ensemble Square, feeling calm and done for the night. He had enough drinks to get him a bit buzzed, but not enough to make him sick. The nice balance had him smiling to himself. It was nearing midnight, and the other idols he was talking to had left to go to sleep.
Rinne wasn’t expecting to get a phone call from Niki at this hour, but he knew it was probably important. He just didn’t realize how important it was.
“Rinne-kun, please, just come and stay with me, I don’t want to do something I regret, please just come stay with me, I can’t be alone, please .” Niki’s voice sounded strained and raspy like he was crying and his throat was choked up from stress. It tugged Rinne’s heart to hear it.
Niki’s desperation was enough to make Rinne’s entire body buzz with worry. He immediately understood the weight of Niki’s words, and realized how much he needed him at that moment. “Shit, yeah, I’m on my way, Niki. I’ll be there as soon as possible.”
“Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you…” Niki kept rambling, occasional sniffles interrupting his speech. Rinne didn’t hang up the phone; he wasn’t too far from their apartment, he could make it in around six minutes.
“Niki, I’ll be there soon, please don’t hang up,” Rinne ordered, unable to hide the worry in his voice. This wasn’t one of the first times Niki had an episode like this.
Niki was silent on the other end. Rinne was running down the sidewalks at this point, trying to get to him as quickly as possible.
Eventually, Rinne got to the apartment quicker than he expected (thankfully), and he quickly fumbled with his keys to unlock the door, cursing at his clumsiness from being intoxicated. He hung up the phone and opened the door, announcing, “I’m here.”
Niki wasn’t in the living room or the kitchen. Rinne went into Niki’s bedroom. Not there either.
With dread, Rinne knocked on the closed bathroom door. Silence. “Niki, I’m coming in,” he warned, turning the knob and letting himself inside.
Niki was curled up on the floor, holding his legs tightly. He avoided looking at Rinne (from past experiences, knows this is from shame).
The first time this happened Rinne immediately thought to get Niki a snack, but now he knows that won’t help with anything. The problem plaguing Niki is his mind, not his stomach.
Rinne slowly reached out to Niki’s hand, and covered it with his. Niki’s eyes darted towards the movement. Rinne gazed into them… his dark blue eyes looked empty. He looked a mess: his eyes were puffy from crying, there were still boogers around his nose, and his hair looked like it was being tugged at. Slowly, Rinne moved his shoulder to brush Niki’s. When Niki didn’t jerk away, he wrapped his other arm around him, their legs brushing together from where they sat on the floor. Niki let out another sniffle, finally breaking his silence. Rinne gave him a soft kiss on the side of his head.
Niki’s body slowly lost tension. It takes a while for bodies to completely relax after this, but it was good enough for him to slowly uncurl. Rinne took Niki’s hand more firmly in his, intertwining their fingers together. “I love you,” Rinne promised softly.
“...Thank you,” Niki rasped, his voice still sounding croaky. His throat was still tense and probably not ready to speak yet. Rinne felt the tears gathering in his eyes finally fall.
“Let’s get you somewhere more comfortable,” Rinne suggested, still speaking very softly. Niki nodded his head. Rinne carefully helped Niki up, and walked them both over to the living room couch. Niki flopped down onto it, his body exhausted. Rinne went to the kitchen to fill a glass with water, and put it down on the table next to Niki. Niki grabbed it with both hands and took small sips, gazing down into the cup sadly.
Rinne has many things he wants to say. I’m sorry you have to go through this, Niki. I’m sorry your mind tells you things that aren’t true. I’m sorry you feel like you don’t deserve anything you have. I’m sorry you feel the need to hide your problems from everyone. I’m sorry your emotions are all over the place. I’m sorry you fear I’ll abandon you. I’m sorry you eat yourself to death to try and distract yourself from the thoughts that plague you. However, he knows Niki doesn’t want that right now.
Rinne joins Niki on the couch, and turns on the TV to a nature documentary. Through all the years he’s spent with Niki, a charming thing he’s noticed is that he loves serene shots of nature. Niki’s eyes lit up at the screen, where the documentary showed the beautiful scenery of the rural mountains of China. The pointed green mountains and the sunlight breaking through the fog and gray clouds were beautiful. The vibrant vegetation was satisfying on their eyes.
It started to rain outside. The soft pattering of rain reminded Rinne of how tired he was. He was so comfortable on the couch cuddling next to Niki… he felt like he could easily fall asleep like this. Niki must’ve noticed how close he was to drifting off, because he turned off the TV and stood up. Rinne groaned at the loss of Niki’s warmth.
“Nuh-uh, let’s get to bed, we don’t want to deal with body aches tomorrow,” he insisted, grabbing Rinne’s hand. Rinne grunted, but he got up and rested his head in the crook of Niki’s neck, breathing in his scent and smiling softly into it. Niki hummed, patting Rinne’s back. “C’mon, we can cuddle in bed.”
They went into Niki’s bedroom. Niki was already changed into his sleep clothes, but Rinne took off his jeans and put on one of Niki’s sweatpants. Niki settled in bed, but Rinne launched himself onto it, earning a surprised squeal from Niki. “Rinne-kun!” Niki exclaimed, Rinne cackling at his reaction.
Rinne and Niki faced each other, settling their heads on top of the other’s shoulder. Their chests pressed together, and Niki hummed happily at the feeling of their hearts beating. Rinne suddenly felt overwhelmed by how much he adored Niki. “I love you so much.”
“I love you, too.”
Their breaths slowed until they were lulled to sleep by the soft rain.